00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
1
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This is Zero One Alpha.
We have secured Falcon.
2
00:01:42,769 --> 00:01:45,613
I say again, we have secured Falcon.
3
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:48,241
By the time I count to ten...
4
00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:50,536
...you will have told me
exactly what I need to know.
5
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If not...
6
00:01:52,529 --> 00:01:56,033
...the number ten will be the
last thing you will ever hear.
7
00:01:56,241 --> 00:01:57,241
One
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Two
9
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Three
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Four
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Five
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Six
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00:02:02,873 --> 00:02:03,873
Seven
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Eight
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Grenade! Sir, get back!
16
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Shit.
17
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Fucking missed it.
18
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How did I fucking miss it?
19
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Merlin, I apologize for putting
you in this position.
20
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You trained him well.
21
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James...
22
00:02:37,783 --> 00:02:41,208
training is over.
23
00:02:42,454 --> 00:02:44,456
Welcome to Kingsman.
24
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Lancelot.
25
00:02:46,416 --> 00:02:47,417
Sir.
26
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:54,762
I'll deal with this mess personally.
27
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I very much regret that your husband's
bravery can't be publicly celebrated.
28
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,392
I hope you understand.
29
00:03:04,559 --> 00:03:06,061
How can I understand?
30
00:03:06,228 --> 00:03:08,230
You won't tell me anything.
31
00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:11,609
I didn't even know
he wasn't with his squad.
32
00:03:11,775 --> 00:03:13,015
I'm so sorry, I can't say more.
33
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But I would like to present you
with this Medal of Valor...
34
00:03:16,613 --> 00:03:20,959
and if you look closely on the back,
there's a number.
35
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,829
And as a more concrete gesture
of our gratitude...
36
00:03:23,995 --> 00:03:25,918
we'd like to offer you...
37
00:03:27,290 --> 00:03:28,462
Let's call it a favor.
38
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The nature of it is your choice.
39
00:03:30,293 --> 00:03:31,636
Just tell the operator...
40
00:03:32,129 --> 00:03:35,508
"oxfords not brogues,"
and then I'll know it's you.
41
00:03:36,967 --> 00:03:39,516
I don't want your help!
42
00:03:39,678 --> 00:03:42,101
I want my husband back!
43
00:03:49,938 --> 00:03:51,110
What's your name, young man?
44
00:03:51,690 --> 00:03:52,690
Eggsy.
45
00:03:52,774 --> 00:03:54,117
Hello, Eggsy.
46
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,532
Can I see that?
47
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You take care of this, Eggsy.
48
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:07,665
All right?
49
00:04:11,668 --> 00:04:13,215
And take care of your mum, too.
50
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:57,719
So sorry, Professor Arnold.
Just a tiny bit more.
51
00:04:57,881 --> 00:05:00,384
For God's sakes, just rip it off.
52
00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:04,100
I'm under very strict instructions
not to hurt you.
53
00:05:04,262 --> 00:05:06,515
Look, you've made a mistake.
54
00:05:06,681 --> 00:05:09,434
I'm a university lecturer.
I've got no money.
55
00:05:09,601 --> 00:05:11,069
This isn't about money.
56
00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,196
Our boss just wants to talk to you.
57
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Am I meant to find that reassuring?
58
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He'll be here soon. He'll explain.
59
00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:20,362
Do you like whiskey?
60
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:23,748
Red, get the '62 Dalmore.
61
00:05:25,075 --> 00:05:28,124
Honestly, this whiskey, it's amazing.
62
00:05:28,453 --> 00:05:30,251
You will shit.
63
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:52,940
I suppose asking to borrow
a cup of sugar is a step too far?
64
00:06:15,834 --> 00:06:19,805
Professor Arnold,
I'm here to take you home.
65
00:06:30,599 --> 00:06:32,442
1962 Dalmore.
66
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It'd be a sin to spill any.
67
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Don't you think?
68
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Can you hold these? Please?
69
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Thank you.
70
00:07:41,586 --> 00:07:43,554
Everything is clean.
71
00:07:49,260 --> 00:07:52,059
My kind of welcome.
72
00:07:59,437 --> 00:08:01,565
No stomach for violence.
73
00:08:01,731 --> 00:08:03,654
I mean, literally,
I see one drop of blood...
74
00:08:03,817 --> 00:08:05,740
that is me done.
75
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:07,074
I'm like...
76
00:08:07,237 --> 00:08:08,580
projectile.
77
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,911
Listen, I'm so sorry...
78
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:16,456
you had to witness all this unpleasantness
due to our uninvited guest.
79
00:08:16,621 --> 00:08:20,751
But I promise you, by the time
I've found out who he works for...
80
00:08:20,917 --> 00:08:25,263
you and I will be the best of friends.
81
00:08:31,845 --> 00:08:33,893
To the shop, please.
82
00:08:57,203 --> 00:08:58,523
Arthur's in the dining room, sir.
83
00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:10,008
Arthur.
84
00:09:10,216 --> 00:09:11,388
Galahad.
85
00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:16,265
The others were beginning to wonder
if we were going to have a double toast.
86
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:22,946
Gentlemen, I'm thankful to
say it's been 17 years...
87
00:09:23,104 --> 00:09:25,482
since we last had occasion
to use this decanter.
88
00:09:26,357 --> 00:09:30,783
Lancelot was an outstanding agent,
and a true Kingsman.
89
00:09:30,945 --> 00:09:32,367
He will be sorely missed.
90
00:09:33,740 --> 00:09:34,912
To Lancelot.
91
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:37,415
To Lancelot.
92
00:09:41,456 --> 00:09:46,462
I intend to start the selection process
for Lancelot's replacement tomorrow.
93
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,176
I want each of you
to propose a candidate...
94
00:09:49,339 --> 00:09:51,683
and have them report to UK HQ...
95
00:09:51,883 --> 00:09:54,011
no later than 9 p.m. GMT.
96
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:55,636
Thank you.
97
00:09:58,014 --> 00:09:59,014
Merlin.
98
00:09:59,891 --> 00:10:01,518
Come in.
99
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:04,570
Lancelot was investigating
a group of mercenaries...
100
00:10:04,729 --> 00:10:07,448
who were experimenting
with biological weaponry.
101
00:10:07,607 --> 00:10:08,687
Glasses, gentlemen, please.
102
00:10:11,277 --> 00:10:13,621
Uganda, 2012.
103
00:10:13,780 --> 00:10:15,282
Synthetic cathinones.
104
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:18,873
They put it in the water supply
of a guerrilla army base.
105
00:10:19,035 --> 00:10:22,289
Rage, cannibalism, multiple fatalities.
106
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,125
Chechnya, 2013.
107
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:27,085
Insurgents turned on one another.
108
00:10:27,252 --> 00:10:31,007
Indisputably, the work of our mercenaries,
but no trace of any chemicals of any kind.
109
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:32,332
So what happened to Lancelot?
110
00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:36,262
He tracked them to this property
in Argentina.
111
00:10:36,469 --> 00:10:37,766
While he had them under surveillance...
112
00:10:37,929 --> 00:10:39,772
he became aware
they'd effected a kidnapping.
113
00:10:40,598 --> 00:10:44,603
So he executed a solo rescue mission,
which failed.
114
00:10:45,478 --> 00:10:46,980
This is his last transmission.
115
00:10:48,982 --> 00:10:51,531
- Who is he?
- Some climate change doomsayer.
116
00:10:51,693 --> 00:10:53,333
Expounds something
called "Gaia theory"...
117
00:10:53,361 --> 00:10:55,121
about the world healing itself,
or some such.
118
00:10:55,280 --> 00:10:59,160
But what's curious,
is he's not actually missing.
119
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:01,961
This is Professor Arnold...
120
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:04,168
at Imperial College this morning.
121
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:07,000
It's all yours.
122
00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,461
And don't forget
your membership proposal.
123
00:11:09,627 --> 00:11:12,722
Try picking a more suitable
candidate this time.
124
00:11:12,881 --> 00:11:14,758
17 years and still...
125
00:11:14,924 --> 00:11:18,554
evolving with the times remains
an entirely foreign concept to you.
126
00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:21,810
Need I remind you, I wouldn't be here
if it weren't for that young man?
127
00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,567
He was as much Kingsman
material as any of them.
128
00:11:24,726 --> 00:11:25,943
More so.
129
00:11:26,102 --> 00:11:29,106
But he wasn't exactly one of us, was he?
130
00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:33,493
Let's face it, Galahad,
your little experiment failed.
131
00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:37,702
With respect, Arthur, you're a snob.
132
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:38,956
"With respect"?
133
00:11:40,158 --> 00:11:42,331
The world is changing.
134
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:46,498
There's a reason why aristocrats
developed weak chins.
135
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,225
Eggsy?
136
00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,192
Eggsy, come here.
137
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:15,201
- Got any Rizla, babe?
- No.
138
00:12:15,360 --> 00:12:17,408
Why don't you do your mum a favor,
go down to the shop and get some?
139
00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:18,867
- Get them yourself.
- Oi.
140
00:12:19,030 --> 00:12:21,704
What have I said to you
about speaking to Dean like that?
141
00:12:21,866 --> 00:12:25,336
Three's a crowd, innit?
Why don't Dean's poodle go?
142
00:12:25,495 --> 00:12:26,963
I'll tell you what.
143
00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:28,873
Why don't you take this,
go and get some Rizlas...
144
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,000
get yourself some sweets?
And while you're gone...
145
00:12:31,960 --> 00:12:34,964
we'll show your mother
how three can be good company.
146
00:12:37,548 --> 00:12:38,548
Thanks, babe.
147
00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:47,984
There we go.
148
00:12:48,977 --> 00:12:50,149
Is that better?
149
00:13:04,909 --> 00:13:07,332
If Dean treats your mum so bad,
why doesn't she leave him?
150
00:13:07,495 --> 00:13:09,463
Low self-esteem. That's her problem.
151
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:11,382
Fuck off.
Why would she have low self-esteem?
152
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:13,384
Eggsy's mum is well fit.
153
00:13:13,710 --> 00:13:15,883
- No offense, bruv.
- It's all right.
154
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:19,140
One of these days,
I'm gonna smash his face in.
155
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,721
Are you mental, cuz?
156
00:13:20,883 --> 00:13:23,603
He'd just get that lot to do you,
and then pretend he knew nothing...
157
00:13:26,055 --> 00:13:27,055
...about it.
158
00:13:27,473 --> 00:13:29,771
You think you can chat shit about us
and we won't do nothing...
159
00:13:29,934 --> 00:13:32,062
just because our guvnor's
banging Eggsy's mum?
160
00:13:32,228 --> 00:13:34,071
Pretty much, yeah.
161
00:13:34,230 --> 00:13:36,403
Bruv, just leave it. Let's just go, man.
162
00:13:36,566 --> 00:13:37,566
It's not worth it.
163
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,244
You boys have outstayed your welcome.
164
00:13:40,570 --> 00:13:41,570
Leave.
165
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,324
What?
166
00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:46,917
I'm sorry about that, bruv.
167
00:13:49,996 --> 00:13:50,996
Yeah.
168
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,127
Mug.
169
00:13:54,250 --> 00:13:56,423
They weren't fucking worth it, boys.
170
00:13:57,462 --> 00:14:00,762
It's freezing. Why are we walking?
171
00:14:00,923 --> 00:14:02,766
You jacked his fucking car keys, bruv?
172
00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:05,428
Yeah. Now, we're gonna nick his car.
173
00:14:06,137 --> 00:14:07,434
Shit!
174
00:14:13,311 --> 00:14:14,813
Hold on, boys.
175
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:19,033
Hey, that's my fucking car!
176
00:14:19,192 --> 00:14:21,445
Hey! Hey! Eggsy!
177
00:14:21,611 --> 00:14:23,659
I swear, you want to fucking stop it!
178
00:14:23,821 --> 00:14:26,370
You're a fucking dead man! Stop it!
179
00:14:29,285 --> 00:14:30,325
I'm gonna fucking have ya!
180
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:36,960
Floor it, Eggsy!
181
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,126
Floor it!
182
00:14:38,836 --> 00:14:40,088
Wanker!
183
00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:43,425
Yeah, Dean. Look, it's me.
184
00:14:43,591 --> 00:14:45,593
Eggsy just stole my fucking car.
185
00:14:45,760 --> 00:14:48,604
I've come out the pub,
he's done 15 donuts in my fucking face...
186
00:14:48,763 --> 00:14:50,310
and he's drove off.
187
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:52,601
No, I can't have it!
He's disrespecting me.
188
00:14:52,767 --> 00:14:54,986
And that means,
he's disrespecting you.
189
00:14:55,144 --> 00:14:57,988
Hold up! What the...?
190
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:39,855
Dickhead.
191
00:15:41,732 --> 00:15:43,655
Foxes are vermin, cuz.
192
00:15:43,818 --> 00:15:45,240
Should've driven it over.
193
00:15:45,403 --> 00:15:47,371
Should've done a lot of things.
194
00:15:47,530 --> 00:15:49,203
I'll sort this. Get out of the car.
195
00:15:49,907 --> 00:15:51,875
I said, get out of the fucking car!
196
00:16:00,460 --> 00:16:03,839
Eggsy, there is no such thing
as honor amongst thieves.
197
00:16:04,839 --> 00:16:08,560
Now, you can start giving me some names
of the boys you were with...
198
00:16:09,218 --> 00:16:10,561
or you go down.
199
00:16:11,429 --> 00:16:12,772
It's up to you.
200
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,693
I want to exercise
my right to a phone call.
201
00:16:18,352 --> 00:16:21,777
Well, I hope it's to your mum...
202
00:16:21,939 --> 00:16:25,443
to tell her you're gonna be
18 months late for your dinner.
203
00:16:56,390 --> 00:16:58,768
Customer Complaints, how may I help you?
204
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,107
My name's Eggsy Unwin.
205
00:17:01,270 --> 00:17:05,776
Sorry, Gary Unwin.
And I'm up shit creek.
206
00:17:05,942 --> 00:17:07,222
I'm in Holborn police station...
207
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:09,033
and my mum said to call this number
if ever I needed help.
208
00:17:09,195 --> 00:17:11,698
I'm sorry, sir. Wrong number.
209
00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:13,207
Wait! Wait!
210
00:17:14,784 --> 00:17:17,207
Oxfords not brogues.
211
00:17:18,955 --> 00:17:20,435
Your complaint has been duly noted...
212
00:17:20,498 --> 00:17:23,627
and we hope that we have
not lost you as a loyal customer.
213
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,063
Yeah.
214
00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:38,983
You what?
215
00:17:40,309 --> 00:17:41,356
I...
216
00:17:41,644 --> 00:17:42,816
Yeah.
217
00:17:43,521 --> 00:17:46,149
Yes, I totally understand.
218
00:18:05,543 --> 00:18:06,760
Eggsy.
219
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:08,879
Would you like a lift home?
220
00:18:09,755 --> 00:18:10,847
Who are you?
221
00:18:11,007 --> 00:18:12,350
The man who got you released.
222
00:18:12,508 --> 00:18:13,851
That ain't an answer.
223
00:18:14,176 --> 00:18:16,349
A little gratitude would be nice.
224
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:20,850
My name is Harry Hart,
and I gave you that medal.
225
00:18:22,393 --> 00:18:24,395
Your father saved my life.
226
00:18:27,690 --> 00:18:29,818
So before you was a tailor,
was you in the army?
227
00:18:30,359 --> 00:18:31,702
Like an officer.
228
00:18:31,861 --> 00:18:33,363
Not quite.
229
00:18:33,529 --> 00:18:35,327
So where was you posted,
Iraq or something?
230
00:18:35,489 --> 00:18:37,742
Sorry, Eggsy. Classified.
231
00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:40,373
But my dad saved your life, yeah?
232
00:18:41,412 --> 00:18:44,916
The day your father died,
I missed something.
233
00:18:46,042 --> 00:18:47,168
And if it weren't for his courage...
234
00:18:47,335 --> 00:18:50,259
my mistake would have cost the lives
of every man present.
235
00:18:51,339 --> 00:18:52,682
So I owe him.
236
00:18:53,924 --> 00:18:55,892
Your father was a brave man.
237
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:58,892
A good man.
238
00:18:59,055 --> 00:19:00,215
And having read your files...
239
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,824
I think he'd be bitterly disappointed
in the choices you've made.
240
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:04,090
You can't talk to me like that.
241
00:19:04,185 --> 00:19:05,185
Huge I.Q.
242
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,104
Great performance at primary school.
243
00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,365
And it all went tits up.
244
00:19:09,523 --> 00:19:12,242
Drugs, petty crime. Never had a job.
245
00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:14,074
You think there's a lot of jobs
going around here, do you?
246
00:19:14,236 --> 00:19:15,738
Doesn't explain
why you gave up your hobbies.
247
00:19:15,905 --> 00:19:18,499
First prize,
regional Under-10s gymnastics...
248
00:19:18,658 --> 00:19:19,875
two years in a row.
249
00:19:20,034 --> 00:19:22,253
Your coach had you pegged
as Olympic team material.
250
00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:24,084
Yeah, well, when you grow up around
someone like my stepdad...
251
00:19:24,246 --> 00:19:25,726
you pick up new hobbies pretty quick.
252
00:19:25,873 --> 00:19:27,591
Of course. Always someone else's fault.
253
00:19:29,335 --> 00:19:31,055
Who's to blame
for you quitting the Marines?
254
00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:33,548
You were halfway through training,
doing brilliantly, but you gave up.
255
00:19:33,714 --> 00:19:35,716
Because my mum went mental.
256
00:19:35,883 --> 00:19:38,682
Banging on about losing me
as well as my dad.
257
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:41,267
Didn't want me being cannon fodder
for snobs like you.
258
00:19:41,430 --> 00:19:43,853
Judging people like me
from your ivory towers...
259
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:46,235
with no thought about
why we do what we do.
260
00:19:46,686 --> 00:19:49,280
We ain't got much choice. You get me?
261
00:19:49,730 --> 00:19:52,130
And if we was born with the same
silver spoon up our arses...
262
00:19:52,274 --> 00:19:55,118
we'd do just as well as you.
If not, better.
263
00:19:55,277 --> 00:19:58,121
What the fuck you doing here?
You taking the piss?
264
00:19:59,907 --> 00:20:01,079
Some more examples of young men...
265
00:20:01,242 --> 00:20:02,960
who simply need a silver suppository?
266
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:04,621
No, they're exceptions. Come on.
267
00:20:04,787 --> 00:20:06,387
Nonsense.
We haven't finished our drinks.
268
00:20:06,414 --> 00:20:07,506
After you nicked his car...
269
00:20:07,665 --> 00:20:08,962
Dean says you're fair game.
270
00:20:09,125 --> 00:20:10,725
He don't give a shit what your mum says.
271
00:20:10,793 --> 00:20:12,136
Listen, boys...
272
00:20:13,504 --> 00:20:15,472
I've had a rather emotional day...
273
00:20:15,631 --> 00:20:19,977
so whatever your beef with Eggsy is,
and I'm sure it's well-founded...
274
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:21,804
I'd appreciate it enormously...
275
00:20:21,971 --> 00:20:23,939
if you could just leave us in peace...
276
00:20:24,098 --> 00:20:26,647
until I finish
this lovely pint of Guinness.
277
00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:32,492
You should get out of the way, Granddad,
or you'll get hurt and all.
278
00:20:32,648 --> 00:20:33,991
He ain't joking. You should go.
279
00:20:40,823 --> 00:20:41,995
Excuse me.
280
00:20:43,826 --> 00:20:46,906
If you're looking for another rent boy,
they're on the corner of Smith street.
281
00:20:52,501 --> 00:20:53,798
Manners...
282
00:20:55,004 --> 00:20:56,301
maketh...
283
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:00,551
man.
284
00:21:08,058 --> 00:21:09,810
Do you know what that means?
285
00:21:11,687 --> 00:21:13,860
Then let me teach you a lesson.
286
00:21:22,698 --> 00:21:25,747
Are we going to stand around here all day,
or are we going to fight?
287
00:22:10,538 --> 00:22:13,542
You fucking dirty, fucking dirty...
288
00:22:54,790 --> 00:22:56,212
Sorry about that.
289
00:22:56,375 --> 00:22:58,127
Needed to let off a little steam.
290
00:22:59,295 --> 00:23:02,799
I heard yesterday a friend of mine died.
291
00:23:02,965 --> 00:23:05,013
He knew your father too, actually.
292
00:23:07,511 --> 00:23:09,639
Now, I do apologize, Eggsy.
293
00:23:09,805 --> 00:23:11,807
I shouldn't have done this
in front of you.
294
00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:13,976
No, please!
I won't say nothing, I swear!
295
00:23:14,143 --> 00:23:15,645
If there's one thing I can do,
it's keep my mouth shut.
296
00:23:15,811 --> 00:23:17,154
- You won't tell a soul?
- Ask the feds.
297
00:23:17,313 --> 00:23:18,473
I've never grassed anyone up.
298
00:23:18,480 --> 00:23:20,824
- Is that a promise?
- On my life!
299
00:23:24,987 --> 00:23:26,830
Much appreciated, Eggsy.
300
00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:28,741
You're right about the snobs.
301
00:23:28,908 --> 00:23:31,161
But there, too, there are exceptions.
302
00:23:32,077 --> 00:23:33,875
Best of luck with everything.
303
00:23:48,218 --> 00:23:52,439
In celebrity news, the Richmond Valentine
movie premiered in Hollywood last night.
304
00:23:52,598 --> 00:23:55,397
The story of the internet billionaire's
rise to power...
305
00:23:55,559 --> 00:23:58,358
is expected to be
this award season's hot ticket.
306
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,524
One notable absence from the red carpet
was Iggy Azalea...
307
00:24:01,690 --> 00:24:05,194
still missing three days after she failed
to appear at her Oakland concert.
308
00:24:05,361 --> 00:24:06,908
No ransom has been demanded.
309
00:24:07,071 --> 00:24:09,039
Eggsy, just go, please,
because he's gonna...
310
00:24:10,240 --> 00:24:11,708
No, please, don't hurt him!
311
00:24:11,867 --> 00:24:13,585
Fuck off! Get the fuck away with ya!
312
00:24:13,744 --> 00:24:14,961
Shut the fuck up!
313
00:24:15,120 --> 00:24:17,248
Who was with you in that fucking pub?
314
00:24:17,414 --> 00:24:19,542
I want to know the name of the geezer
you was with.
315
00:24:19,708 --> 00:24:21,551
- I wasn't with no one!
- Who was it?
316
00:24:21,710 --> 00:24:23,132
- I don't know what you're on about.
- Who was it?
317
00:24:23,295 --> 00:24:24,421
I don't know
who you're fucking on about!
318
00:24:24,588 --> 00:24:25,714
Fucking tell me his name!
319
00:24:25,881 --> 00:24:28,225
I don't know
who you're fucking on about!
320
00:24:32,429 --> 00:24:33,430
You listen to me!
321
00:24:33,597 --> 00:24:35,565
I want to know who you was with in that pub.
Do you understand?
322
00:24:35,724 --> 00:24:37,601
I want to know his fucking name!
323
00:24:37,768 --> 00:24:40,738
Because, I swear,
I'll rip your head off.
324
00:24:40,896 --> 00:24:43,945
- Tell me!
- I don't know what you're fucking on about!
325
00:24:44,108 --> 00:24:45,155
Just tell him, Eggsy!
326
00:24:45,317 --> 00:24:47,115
Fuck off! Fuck off, Michelle!
327
00:24:47,277 --> 00:24:48,574
I could kill you right now...
328
00:24:48,737 --> 00:24:51,240
and no one in the whole world
will notice!
329
00:24:51,407 --> 00:24:53,080
But I would.
330
00:24:53,242 --> 00:24:55,085
I have enough evidence
on your activities...
331
00:24:55,244 --> 00:24:57,246
to have you locked up
for the rest of your life...
332
00:24:57,413 --> 00:24:59,632
- Mr. Dean Anthony Baker.
- What the fuck?
333
00:24:59,832 --> 00:25:01,425
So I suggest you leave the boy alone...
334
00:25:01,583 --> 00:25:05,178
or I shall be forced to deliver it
to the appropriate authorities.
335
00:25:06,171 --> 00:25:08,720
Eggsy, meet me at the tailor
I told you about.
336
00:25:08,882 --> 00:25:11,351
What the fuck's going on here?
337
00:25:13,303 --> 00:25:14,520
Eggsy, you fucking maggot!
338
00:25:14,680 --> 00:25:15,897
Hey, we got a racer!
339
00:25:16,056 --> 00:25:17,524
Come here. Hey!
340
00:25:18,225 --> 00:25:19,351
Eggsy, you fucking...
341
00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:20,815
Come here, son!
342
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:34,332
You wanker!
343
00:25:34,491 --> 00:25:36,118
I'll have you, son!
344
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:03,562
I've never met a tailor before.
345
00:26:04,396 --> 00:26:05,739
But I know you ain't one.
346
00:26:09,693 --> 00:26:11,366
Come with me.
347
00:26:20,037 --> 00:26:21,334
Come on in.
348
00:26:27,044 --> 00:26:28,045
What do you see?
349
00:26:28,337 --> 00:26:31,557
Someone who wants to know
what the fuck is going on.
350
00:26:33,258 --> 00:26:35,602
I see a young man with potential.
351
00:26:36,929 --> 00:26:38,681
A young man who is loyal.
352
00:26:39,848 --> 00:26:41,566
Who can do as he's asked.
353
00:26:41,725 --> 00:26:44,524
And who wants to do
something good with his life.
354
00:26:46,105 --> 00:26:48,107
Did you see the film Trading Places?
355
00:26:48,857 --> 00:26:50,200
No.
356
00:26:50,609 --> 00:26:52,111
How about Nikita?
357
00:26:53,195 --> 00:26:54,538
Pretty Woman?
358
00:26:55,447 --> 00:26:56,539
All right.
359
00:26:56,698 --> 00:26:59,738
My point is, that the lack of a silver
spoon has set you on a certain path...
360
00:26:59,868 --> 00:27:01,711
but you needn't stay on it.
361
00:27:01,954 --> 00:27:06,801
If you're prepared to adapt and learn,
you can transform.
362
00:27:07,376 --> 00:27:09,219
Like in My Fair Lady.
363
00:27:10,254 --> 00:27:12,302
Well, you're full of surprises.
364
00:27:12,548 --> 00:27:15,267
Yes, like My Fair Lady.
365
00:27:16,301 --> 00:27:19,601
Only, in this case, I'm offering you
the opportunity to become a Kingsman.
366
00:27:20,264 --> 00:27:21,607
A tailor?
367
00:27:22,099 --> 00:27:23,396
A Kingsman agent.
368
00:27:24,977 --> 00:27:26,229
Like a spy?
369
00:27:26,436 --> 00:27:27,562
Of sorts.
370
00:27:29,565 --> 00:27:30,565
Interested?
371
00:27:31,066 --> 00:27:33,239
You think I've got anything to lose?
372
00:27:40,409 --> 00:27:41,752
Since 1849...
373
00:27:41,910 --> 00:27:46,086
Kingsman tailors have clothed
the world's most powerful individuals.
374
00:27:46,248 --> 00:27:50,924
By 1919, a great number of them
had lost their heirs to World War One.
375
00:27:51,753 --> 00:27:55,098
That meant a lot of money
going uninherited.
376
00:27:55,257 --> 00:27:59,262
And a lot of powerful men with a desire
to preserve peace and protect life.
377
00:27:59,428 --> 00:28:02,352
Our founders realized that they could
channel that wealth and influence...
378
00:28:02,514 --> 00:28:04,141
for the greater good.
379
00:28:04,308 --> 00:28:07,608
And so began our other venture.
380
00:28:08,437 --> 00:28:10,781
An independent,
international intelligence agency...
381
00:28:10,939 --> 00:28:14,284
operating at the highest level
of discretion.
382
00:28:15,068 --> 00:28:16,570
Above the politics and bureaucracy...
383
00:28:16,737 --> 00:28:20,913
that undermine the integrity
of government-run spy organizations.
384
00:28:21,658 --> 00:28:24,002
The suit is a modern gentleman's armor.
385
00:28:24,828 --> 00:28:27,923
And the Kingsman agents
are the new knights.
386
00:28:28,999 --> 00:28:30,592
How deep does this fucking thing go?
387
00:28:30,751 --> 00:28:31,798
Deep enough.
388
00:29:16,463 --> 00:29:18,181
Shit, we're late.
389
00:29:42,823 --> 00:29:45,372
Your father had the
same look on his face.
390
00:29:47,035 --> 00:29:48,412
As did I.
391
00:29:50,080 --> 00:29:51,206
Come on.
392
00:29:54,001 --> 00:29:55,048
Galahad.
393
00:29:55,210 --> 00:29:56,211
My code name.
394
00:29:56,378 --> 00:29:57,846
Late again, sir.
395
00:29:58,213 --> 00:29:59,510
Good luck.
396
00:29:59,881 --> 00:30:01,224
In you go.
397
00:30:12,728 --> 00:30:13,900
Fall in.
398
00:30:16,106 --> 00:30:18,950
Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Merlin.
399
00:30:19,109 --> 00:30:20,201
You are about to embark...
400
00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:23,079
on what is probably the most
dangerous job interview in the world.
401
00:30:23,905 --> 00:30:28,752
One of you, and only one of you,
will become the next Lancelot.
402
00:30:29,536 --> 00:30:32,756
Can anybody tell me what this is?
403
00:30:33,623 --> 00:30:35,250
- Yes?
- Body bag, sir.
404
00:30:35,417 --> 00:30:37,715
Correct. Charlie, isn't it?
405
00:30:37,919 --> 00:30:38,919
Yes, sir.
406
00:30:38,962 --> 00:30:39,713
Good.
407
00:30:39,880 --> 00:30:42,258
In a moment,
you will each collect a body bag.
408
00:30:42,424 --> 00:30:44,267
You will write your name on that bag.
409
00:30:44,593 --> 00:30:47,847
You will write the details
of your next of kin on that bag.
410
00:30:48,013 --> 00:30:51,267
This represents your acknowledgment
of the risks that you are about to face...
411
00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,729
as well as your agreement
to strict confidentiality.
412
00:30:54,895 --> 00:30:57,944
Which, incidentally, if you break,
will result in you...
413
00:30:58,231 --> 00:31:00,575
and your next of kin...
414
00:31:01,026 --> 00:31:02,619
being in that bag.
415
00:31:04,279 --> 00:31:05,701
Is that understood?
416
00:31:07,199 --> 00:31:08,371
Excellent.
417
00:31:08,950 --> 00:31:10,247
Fall out.
418
00:31:17,542 --> 00:31:19,965
Roxanne. But call me Roxy.
419
00:31:20,712 --> 00:31:22,134
- I'm Eggsy.
- "Eggy"?
420
00:31:22,297 --> 00:31:23,297
No, "Eggsy".
421
00:31:23,423 --> 00:31:24,766
Eggy?
422
00:31:24,925 --> 00:31:26,051
Where did they dig you up?
423
00:31:26,218 --> 00:31:28,338
You know we're not allowed
to discuss who proposed us.
424
00:31:28,470 --> 00:31:29,767
No need to bite his head off.
425
00:31:29,930 --> 00:31:32,274
Charlie's only making conversation,
right, Charlie?
426
00:31:32,891 --> 00:31:34,108
I'm Digby.
427
00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:36,065
Digby.
428
00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:37,650
Eggy, this is Rufus.
429
00:31:37,813 --> 00:31:39,315
Rufus, Eggy.
430
00:31:41,483 --> 00:31:44,282
So, Eggy, are you Oxford or Cambridge?
431
00:31:44,778 --> 00:31:45,449
Neither.
432
00:31:45,612 --> 00:31:46,909
- Saint Andrews?
- Durham?
433
00:31:47,072 --> 00:31:48,995
No, wait, I think we may have met.
434
00:31:49,157 --> 00:31:52,912
Did you serve me at the McDonald's
in Winchester service station?
435
00:31:53,078 --> 00:31:53,829
No.
436
00:31:53,995 --> 00:31:56,756
But if I had, I would have given you
an extra helping of secret sauce.
437
00:31:57,249 --> 00:31:59,752
It's definitely Saint Andrews.
438
00:32:00,335 --> 00:32:01,507
Just ignore them.
439
00:32:01,670 --> 00:32:02,762
You need a pen?
440
00:32:02,921 --> 00:32:03,672
Cheers.
441
00:32:03,839 --> 00:32:05,261
Amelia, isn't it?
442
00:32:05,424 --> 00:32:06,846
Amelia, Eggsy.
443
00:32:07,008 --> 00:32:08,180
Hi, Eggsy.
444
00:32:08,510 --> 00:32:10,262
Don't take any notice of those guys.
445
00:32:10,429 --> 00:32:12,147
That's what I told him.
446
00:32:14,433 --> 00:32:15,650
It's just scare tactics.
447
00:32:16,017 --> 00:32:17,519
Classic army technique.
448
00:32:17,853 --> 00:32:18,854
No one's gonna die.
449
00:32:22,983 --> 00:32:24,200
Shame.
450
00:32:26,319 --> 00:32:28,538
Great. You don't know,
the CIA don't know.
451
00:32:28,697 --> 00:32:31,200
Nobody knows who this guy is?
452
00:32:31,950 --> 00:32:32,951
Fine.
453
00:32:33,118 --> 00:32:34,495
Seriously, it's fine.
454
00:32:34,661 --> 00:32:38,541
Well, it's not really fine,
but it's not why I'm here.
455
00:32:38,707 --> 00:32:42,177
Hell, man, you know me.
Money's not my issue.
456
00:32:42,335 --> 00:32:44,053
I could've retired
straight out of MIT...
457
00:32:44,212 --> 00:32:46,681
fucked off to some island,
let the business run itself.
458
00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,593
Nobody told me
to try and save the planet.
459
00:32:49,759 --> 00:32:51,386
I wanted to.
460
00:32:51,553 --> 00:32:55,274
Climate change research,
lobbying, years of study, billions of dollars...
461
00:32:55,432 --> 00:32:57,230
and you know why I quit?
462
00:32:57,684 --> 00:33:02,440
Because the last time I checked,
the planet was still fucked.
463
00:33:02,772 --> 00:33:05,275
Hence, my epiphany.
464
00:33:05,442 --> 00:33:08,195
Money won't solve this.
465
00:33:08,570 --> 00:33:11,039
Those idiots
who call themselves politicians...
466
00:33:11,198 --> 00:33:15,248
have buried their heads in the sand
and stood for nothing but re-election.
467
00:33:16,036 --> 00:33:20,382
So I spent the last two years
trying to find a real solution.
468
00:33:20,957 --> 00:33:22,880
And I found it.
469
00:33:23,960 --> 00:33:27,089
Now, if you really want to make
the world a better place...
470
00:33:27,255 --> 00:33:31,726
I suggest you open your fucking ears,
because I'm about to tell it to you.
471
00:33:31,927 --> 00:33:33,770
Go on, Mr. Valentine.
472
00:33:33,929 --> 00:33:35,431
I'm still listening.
473
00:33:36,223 --> 00:33:40,103
As long as you agree to all my terms.
474
00:34:28,316 --> 00:34:29,863
All right, no one panic. Listen to me.
475
00:34:30,110 --> 00:34:31,157
Stay calm.
476
00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:32,987
Fuck.
477
00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:36,370
Loo snorkels, loo snorkels!
478
00:34:36,658 --> 00:34:37,658
Loo snorkels?
479
00:34:37,784 --> 00:34:38,784
Showerheads!
480
00:34:39,828 --> 00:34:40,828
Showerheads?
481
00:34:40,829 --> 00:34:42,297
She's right. Fucking go!
482
00:34:44,207 --> 00:34:46,710
Hey, hang about,
what's wrong with the fucking door?
483
00:36:10,418 --> 00:36:13,217
Congratulations on completing
your first task.
484
00:36:13,463 --> 00:36:16,137
Charlie, Roxy, well done.
485
00:36:16,299 --> 00:36:18,097
For those of you
who are still confused...
486
00:36:18,259 --> 00:36:20,432
if you can get a breathing tube
around a U-bend of a toilet...
487
00:36:20,595 --> 00:36:22,438
you have an unlimited air supply.
488
00:36:22,597 --> 00:36:25,100
Simple physics, worth remembering.
489
00:36:25,266 --> 00:36:28,566
Eggsy, well done for spotting
that was a two-way mirror.
490
00:36:28,728 --> 00:36:29,729
He's probably seen enough of them.
491
00:36:29,896 --> 00:36:32,775
Yeah, you can all wipe those smirks
off your faces.
492
00:36:32,941 --> 00:36:36,787
Because as far as I'm concerned,
every single one of you has failed.
493
00:36:37,112 --> 00:36:40,161
You all forgot
the most important thing...
494
00:36:41,157 --> 00:36:42,454
teamwork.
495
00:36:56,631 --> 00:36:59,305
So much for classic army technique.
496
00:37:02,470 --> 00:37:03,722
35.
497
00:37:04,389 --> 00:37:05,766
105.
498
00:37:06,391 --> 00:37:08,735
That's it. That's it.
499
00:37:13,314 --> 00:37:14,314
Hello.
500
00:37:14,774 --> 00:37:15,821
Can I help you?
501
00:37:15,984 --> 00:37:19,363
Yes. I have a question
about anthropogenic force.
502
00:37:20,822 --> 00:37:23,951
Really? It's actually quite fascinating.
503
00:37:25,827 --> 00:37:27,500
My colleague died
trying to rescue you...
504
00:37:27,662 --> 00:37:29,502
and I'm sure you saw
how well trained he was...
505
00:37:29,539 --> 00:37:32,179
so I suggest you tell me who kidnapped
you and why they let you go.
506
00:37:32,292 --> 00:37:34,044
I have no idea what you're talking...
507
00:37:34,836 --> 00:37:37,089
I'm not supposed to say it, but it was...
508
00:37:37,464 --> 00:37:39,182
For God's sake, I've barely touched you.
509
00:37:39,340 --> 00:37:40,637
Man up!
510
00:38:01,488 --> 00:38:03,411
Fuck that guy, whoever he is.
I'm gonna...
511
00:38:04,949 --> 00:38:06,917
He made me kill Professor Arnold.
512
00:38:07,076 --> 00:38:08,419
I goddamn loved Professor Arnold.
513
00:38:08,578 --> 00:38:09,625
Well, the good news is...
514
00:38:09,788 --> 00:38:11,586
we know the emergency
and surveillance system work.
515
00:38:11,748 --> 00:38:13,716
You know what's not good news?
516
00:38:13,875 --> 00:38:15,593
"My colleague died!"
517
00:38:15,752 --> 00:38:17,174
That's what he said!
518
00:38:17,337 --> 00:38:19,681
This is an organization,
and they're all over us.
519
00:38:19,923 --> 00:38:21,675
- Whoever you spoke to...
- I told you...
520
00:38:21,841 --> 00:38:25,391
I made contact with the KGB, MI6,
Mossad and Beijing.
521
00:38:25,553 --> 00:38:27,153
They all insist he wasn't one of theirs.
522
00:38:27,388 --> 00:38:28,685
Beijing.
523
00:38:29,140 --> 00:38:33,361
So freaky how there's no recognizable name
for the Chinese secret service.
524
00:38:33,812 --> 00:38:35,985
Now, that's what you call
a secret, right?
525
00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:38,733
You know what? Fuck it.
526
00:38:39,192 --> 00:38:40,785
We need to speed things up.
527
00:38:40,944 --> 00:38:42,304
Bring the product release forward.
528
00:38:42,445 --> 00:38:44,288
We're only halfway into production...
529
00:38:44,447 --> 00:38:45,887
and speeding it will cost a fortune.
530
00:38:46,032 --> 00:38:47,329
Do I look like I give a fuck?
531
00:38:47,575 --> 00:38:49,418
Just get it done.
532
00:38:51,913 --> 00:38:54,507
As some of you will
have learned last night...
533
00:38:55,917 --> 00:38:59,137
teamwork is paramount here at Kingsman.
534
00:38:59,295 --> 00:39:03,095
We're here to enhance your skills,
test you to the limit.
535
00:39:03,258 --> 00:39:06,683
Which is why you're gonna pick a puppy.
536
00:39:06,845 --> 00:39:08,688
Wherever you go, your dog goes.
537
00:39:08,847 --> 00:39:11,066
You will care for it. You will teach it.
538
00:39:11,224 --> 00:39:14,273
And by the time it's fully trained,
so will you be.
539
00:39:14,435 --> 00:39:17,029
Those of you who are still here,
that is.
540
00:39:17,188 --> 00:39:19,111
Do you understand?
541
00:39:19,315 --> 00:39:21,192
Choose your puppy.
542
00:39:23,862 --> 00:39:25,034
A Doodle?
543
00:39:25,196 --> 00:39:26,196
What?
544
00:39:26,281 --> 00:39:27,874
They're gun dogs.
545
00:39:28,032 --> 00:39:29,534
Oldest working breed.
546
00:39:29,701 --> 00:39:31,499
Easy to train.
547
00:39:32,537 --> 00:39:33,789
A pug?
548
00:39:35,164 --> 00:39:36,837
It's a bulldog, innit?
549
00:39:39,294 --> 00:39:40,694
It'll get bigger, though, won't it?
550
00:39:44,549 --> 00:39:46,677
Shit.
551
00:39:48,678 --> 00:39:52,023
His MRI shows no signs of concussion.
552
00:39:52,181 --> 00:39:55,151
No direct brain trauma at all.
553
00:39:55,476 --> 00:39:57,570
How much longer can he be out?
554
00:39:57,729 --> 00:39:58,901
That's the million-dollar question.
555
00:39:59,063 --> 00:40:00,906
We don't know
what he was exposed to in there.
556
00:40:01,065 --> 00:40:02,533
What about Harry's footage?
557
00:40:02,692 --> 00:40:04,365
It didn't stream to his home terminal.
558
00:40:04,527 --> 00:40:07,497
Encrypted and uncrackable.
559
00:40:07,739 --> 00:40:08,939
If and when he comes around...
560
00:40:09,032 --> 00:40:11,660
you might want to have a word with him
about sharing his password.
561
00:40:11,826 --> 00:40:13,499
Is he gonna be all right?
562
00:40:14,662 --> 00:40:16,335
We need to have patience, Eggsy.
563
00:40:16,748 --> 00:40:18,091
But there's hope, okay?
564
00:40:18,666 --> 00:40:20,384
If I were you,
I'd concentrate on your training.
565
00:40:20,543 --> 00:40:22,716
Make it through the tests.
Make him proud.
566
00:40:30,345 --> 00:40:31,847
Come on, come on, come on!
567
00:40:32,013 --> 00:40:34,107
J.B., come on! Come on!
568
00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:39,187
I'm not coming last because of you.
569
00:40:40,021 --> 00:40:42,524
J.B., I'll shoot you!
Goddamn you, I'll fucking shoot you!
570
00:40:43,775 --> 00:40:45,448
Merlin said we're not
allowed to hold you.
571
00:40:47,612 --> 00:40:49,114
Bollocks.
572
00:41:31,656 --> 00:41:32,656
Water!
573
00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:37,412
- Come on, then!
- Eggsy, forget it!
574
00:41:37,578 --> 00:41:39,218
What's wrong, mate?
You can't take a joke?
575
00:41:39,247 --> 00:41:41,420
Seriously, you'll get thrown out,
and it's just not worth it.
576
00:41:41,582 --> 00:41:43,084
Maybe I don't give a fuck
if I get kicked out!
577
00:41:43,251 --> 00:41:44,594
Do it. Come on, you pleb.
578
00:41:44,752 --> 00:41:46,174
Charlie, fuck off!
579
00:41:48,297 --> 00:41:51,267
Yeah, go on, walk away. Dickhead.
580
00:41:52,593 --> 00:41:53,685
Come on, J.B.
581
00:41:53,845 --> 00:41:54,937
Come on, good boy.
582
00:42:08,735 --> 00:42:11,113
You have exactly one hour
to complete the test...
583
00:42:11,279 --> 00:42:12,826
starting now.
584
00:42:14,907 --> 00:42:16,659
New target, 800 meters.
585
00:42:16,826 --> 00:42:18,453
You know, it's unbelievable.
You're still here...
586
00:42:18,619 --> 00:42:22,123
lingering like some
big, steaming shit that just won't flush.
587
00:42:22,290 --> 00:42:23,792
Roger that. Target identified.
588
00:42:23,958 --> 00:42:25,960
And how about you shut the fuck up?
589
00:42:26,127 --> 00:42:27,253
Positive discrimination...
590
00:42:27,420 --> 00:42:28,842
that's what it is.
591
00:42:29,005 --> 00:42:32,179
It's like those fucking state school kids
who get into Oxford on C grades...
592
00:42:32,341 --> 00:42:33,981
because their mum
is a one-legged lesbian.
593
00:42:34,135 --> 00:42:35,735
You don't know fuck all about my grades.
594
00:42:35,803 --> 00:42:37,680
Forgive me,
I'm sure you're highly educated.
595
00:42:37,847 --> 00:42:39,315
Fire when ready.
596
00:42:41,476 --> 00:42:43,478
How's that for positive discrimination?
597
00:42:56,157 --> 00:42:57,955
I want to thank you both
for listening...
598
00:42:58,117 --> 00:43:01,212
and I really, really appreciate
you travelling all this way...
599
00:43:01,370 --> 00:43:02,371
Your Royal Highness.
600
00:43:02,705 --> 00:43:04,332
And you, too, Prime Minister.
601
00:43:04,499 --> 00:43:07,503
I think this is quite brilliant.
602
00:43:08,002 --> 00:43:10,505
It's absolutely brilliant.
603
00:43:11,297 --> 00:43:14,141
You are completely crazy.
604
00:43:16,177 --> 00:43:17,724
And as for you, Prime Minister
605
00:43:17,845 --> 00:43:20,064
I'm speechless you'd even consider this.
606
00:43:25,353 --> 00:43:28,323
- Don't touch...
- Sorry, Your Royal Highness.
607
00:43:28,481 --> 00:43:29,528
But you've got a big role to play...
608
00:43:29,690 --> 00:43:32,239
in getting the Scandinavian
region back on track.
609
00:43:32,568 --> 00:43:33,911
You're popular, inspirational...
610
00:43:34,070 --> 00:43:36,539
and you have the power
to galvanize the people.
611
00:43:36,697 --> 00:43:39,541
Now, whether you're on board or not...
612
00:43:39,700 --> 00:43:41,327
I'm going to have to insist...
613
00:43:41,494 --> 00:43:44,373
on getting you somewhere
I can ensure your safety.
614
00:43:44,872 --> 00:43:47,091
How about you, Prime Minister?
You in or out?
615
00:43:48,042 --> 00:43:49,544
Well, I think it's about time...
616
00:43:49,710 --> 00:43:54,386
that a politician did something
that actually made a difference.
617
00:43:54,882 --> 00:43:56,725
Too true.
618
00:43:56,884 --> 00:43:57,884
What?
619
00:43:57,885 --> 00:43:59,228
Take her away.
620
00:44:02,890 --> 00:44:03,890
Drink?
621
00:44:04,725 --> 00:44:06,227
Why not?
622
00:44:08,146 --> 00:44:10,114
Guards! Help!
623
00:44:10,189 --> 00:44:10,940
Don't worry.
624
00:44:11,107 --> 00:44:12,575
No harm will come to the princess.
625
00:44:13,067 --> 00:44:17,197
Well, I'm a republican anyways,
so it really doesn't matter.
626
00:44:18,739 --> 00:44:19,739
Release the princess!
627
00:44:53,441 --> 00:44:54,613
Okay, you're done.
628
00:44:54,775 --> 00:44:56,277
Not so bad, right?
629
00:44:56,819 --> 00:44:58,662
Hardly felt a thing.
630
00:44:58,946 --> 00:45:00,448
Welcome aboard.
631
00:45:00,907 --> 00:45:02,750
Pleasure is all mine.
632
00:45:09,081 --> 00:45:10,082
Ever heard of knocking?
633
00:45:11,292 --> 00:45:12,732
Only when I'm casing a place to rob.
634
00:45:14,128 --> 00:45:15,448
Merlin said you wanted to see me?
635
00:45:16,589 --> 00:45:18,637
I hope J.B.'s training
is going as well as yours is.
636
00:45:18,925 --> 00:45:19,972
Sit.
637
00:45:22,470 --> 00:45:25,349
Congratulations on making it
to the final six candidates.
638
00:45:25,514 --> 00:45:28,017
Your test results were even better
than I could've hoped.
639
00:45:30,645 --> 00:45:31,817
Come in.
640
00:45:35,983 --> 00:45:38,657
Eggsy, I need to have
a private conversation.
641
00:45:38,819 --> 00:45:39,819
You're dismissed.
642
00:45:39,946 --> 00:45:41,664
Nonsense. Let him observe.
643
00:45:41,864 --> 00:45:43,491
Might learn a thing or two.
644
00:45:43,991 --> 00:45:45,993
As you wish. Take a look at this.
645
00:45:46,160 --> 00:45:47,958
For God's sake, I've barely touched you.
646
00:45:48,120 --> 00:45:49,120
Man up!
647
00:45:49,622 --> 00:45:51,340
Fucking hell!
648
00:45:51,499 --> 00:45:53,467
That is rank, Harry.
649
00:45:54,168 --> 00:45:55,511
You blew up his head?
650
00:45:55,670 --> 00:45:57,138
It's a bit much, innit?
651
00:45:57,296 --> 00:46:00,971
Actually, the explosion was caused
by an implant in his neck.
652
00:46:01,175 --> 00:46:02,677
Here, under the scar.
653
00:46:03,010 --> 00:46:05,513
Did my hardware
pick up the signal that triggered it?
654
00:46:05,680 --> 00:46:07,182
Fortunately, yes.
655
00:46:07,515 --> 00:46:09,483
Unfortunately,
the IP address I traced it to...
656
00:46:09,642 --> 00:46:11,861
is registered
to the Valentine Corporation.
657
00:46:12,019 --> 00:46:14,863
That's not much of a lead.
He has millions of employees worldwide.
658
00:46:15,022 --> 00:46:17,195
That Richmond Valentine is a genius.
659
00:46:20,820 --> 00:46:22,993
Did you not see his announcement today?
660
00:46:23,698 --> 00:46:24,870
No.
661
00:46:28,911 --> 00:46:32,506
We each spend on average
$2,000 a year...
662
00:46:32,665 --> 00:46:34,542
on cell phone and internet usage.
663
00:46:34,709 --> 00:46:37,838
It gives me great pleasure
to announce...
664
00:46:38,004 --> 00:46:40,553
those days are over.
665
00:46:40,715 --> 00:46:41,762
As of tomorrow...
666
00:46:41,924 --> 00:46:45,770
every man, woman and child
can claim a free SIM card...
667
00:46:45,928 --> 00:46:50,058
compatible with any cell phone,
any computer...
668
00:46:50,224 --> 00:46:54,400
and utilize my communications network
for free.
669
00:46:54,562 --> 00:46:55,905
Free calls...
670
00:46:56,063 --> 00:46:57,565
free internet...
671
00:46:57,732 --> 00:46:59,234
for everyone.
672
00:47:00,234 --> 00:47:01,577
Forever.
673
00:47:17,418 --> 00:47:20,092
Valentine's assistant
has the same implant scar.
674
00:47:20,588 --> 00:47:23,262
I think Mr. Valentine and I
should have a tête-à-tête.
675
00:47:26,761 --> 00:47:29,230
He's having a gala dinner next week.
676
00:47:29,388 --> 00:47:32,232
I'll get you an invitation.
You need to be careful, though.
677
00:47:32,433 --> 00:47:34,401
Since you've been out,
hundreds of VIPs have gone missing.
678
00:47:34,560 --> 00:47:36,938
No ransom notes,
exactly like Professor Arnold.
679
00:47:37,271 --> 00:47:40,992
Then I suggest you make my alias
somebody worth kidnapping.
680
00:47:53,788 --> 00:47:54,960
Fuck, fuck, fuck!
681
00:47:55,122 --> 00:47:56,294
What, don't like heights?
682
00:47:56,457 --> 00:47:57,458
Yeah, it's okay.
683
00:47:57,666 --> 00:48:01,296
I've done it before, which is probably why,
come to think of it.
684
00:48:02,588 --> 00:48:04,465
Hey, it's gonna be all right.
685
00:48:04,632 --> 00:48:06,100
You're top of the class.
686
00:48:08,094 --> 00:48:09,311
Listen up.
687
00:48:09,470 --> 00:48:12,269
Your mission is to land in the target
without the radar detecting you.
688
00:48:12,431 --> 00:48:16,106
If I read you on the radar,
or you miss the target, you go home.
689
00:48:16,477 --> 00:48:17,649
Is that understood?
690
00:48:21,148 --> 00:48:23,776
Drop zone coming up, 20 seconds.
691
00:48:25,111 --> 00:48:26,533
We gotta go.
692
00:48:35,788 --> 00:48:37,665
Eggsy, I really don't think
I can do this.
693
00:48:37,832 --> 00:48:38,833
Of course you can't.
694
00:48:38,999 --> 00:48:40,759
Head to the back
and I'll show you how, yeah?
695
00:48:48,843 --> 00:48:50,845
Eggsy, wait! Hang on!
696
00:48:51,846 --> 00:48:53,348
Roxy, just stop fucking about!
697
00:48:54,974 --> 00:48:55,974
Follow me, yeah?
698
00:49:10,030 --> 00:49:11,873
Come on!
699
00:49:13,159 --> 00:49:15,207
Roxy, it's now or never.
700
00:49:16,495 --> 00:49:17,712
Jump!
701
00:49:36,348 --> 00:49:37,691
Good girl, Rox...
702
00:49:37,850 --> 00:49:39,443
I'm glad you made it!
703
00:49:52,239 --> 00:49:53,912
Yeah!
704
00:49:54,575 --> 00:49:55,576
Come on!
705
00:49:57,953 --> 00:50:00,081
My, my, you're all very cheerful.
706
00:50:00,247 --> 00:50:02,528
Did you really think it was gonna be
that straightforward?
707
00:50:02,583 --> 00:50:04,961
Any idiot can read a heads-up display.
708
00:50:05,127 --> 00:50:08,802
A Kingsman agent needs to be able
to solve problems under pressure.
709
00:50:09,381 --> 00:50:12,885
Like what to do when one of
your group has no parachute.
710
00:50:14,261 --> 00:50:15,934
- What, no parachute?
- Shit!
711
00:50:16,305 --> 00:50:17,431
Who?
712
00:50:17,598 --> 00:50:18,598
Fuck!
713
00:50:18,599 --> 00:50:19,599
Which one?
714
00:50:19,725 --> 00:50:21,147
What do we do?
715
00:50:21,310 --> 00:50:22,732
I told you. Aim for the target.
716
00:50:22,895 --> 00:50:24,147
Come in under the radar.
717
00:50:24,313 --> 00:50:26,281
And I hope not to be scraping
one of you up.
718
00:50:26,649 --> 00:50:29,619
But if I do have to,
and you're inside the target...
719
00:50:30,110 --> 00:50:31,828
please know I'll be very impressed.
720
00:50:31,987 --> 00:50:33,409
- Fuck!
- Oh, shit!
721
00:50:37,284 --> 00:50:38,957
Everybody listen, I've got a plan!
722
00:50:40,663 --> 00:50:43,633
Pair off!
Grab the closest person to them.
723
00:50:46,293 --> 00:50:47,465
Rufus, come on!
724
00:50:47,670 --> 00:50:48,670
Fuck!
725
00:50:49,463 --> 00:50:50,463
Rufus!
726
00:50:50,798 --> 00:50:51,970
Shit! I can't!
727
00:50:55,803 --> 00:50:56,803
Fuck!
728
00:50:57,846 --> 00:50:58,972
Thank God!
729
00:50:59,139 --> 00:51:00,982
Rufus, you wanker!
730
00:51:02,184 --> 00:51:03,606
Shit, we're an odd number now!
731
00:51:04,687 --> 00:51:05,779
Quick, make a circle!
732
00:51:05,938 --> 00:51:07,656
Fuck, he's right! Boys, let's do it.
733
00:51:12,361 --> 00:51:14,455
We pull our cords one by one!
734
00:51:14,613 --> 00:51:15,830
When we know who's fucked...
735
00:51:15,990 --> 00:51:17,470
the person on their right grabs them.
736
00:51:19,118 --> 00:51:20,370
Okay, Eggsy.
737
00:51:20,828 --> 00:51:21,829
Good plan, Eggsy.
738
00:51:21,996 --> 00:51:24,169
You have 30 seconds.
Come on now, hurry.
739
00:51:24,331 --> 00:51:25,332
Me first!
740
00:51:27,835 --> 00:51:28,835
Fuck!
741
00:51:28,836 --> 00:51:30,179
Yes!
742
00:51:32,214 --> 00:51:34,637
Okay, me next.
743
00:51:36,635 --> 00:51:38,182
See you on the ground, boys.
744
00:51:42,016 --> 00:51:43,017
Now me.
745
00:51:46,895 --> 00:51:47,895
Fuck!
746
00:51:52,359 --> 00:51:53,155
Roxy...
747
00:51:53,319 --> 00:51:55,359
No matter what happens now,
I've got you, all right?
748
00:51:58,866 --> 00:52:00,163
Okay, Eggsy.
749
00:52:00,326 --> 00:52:01,498
- Yours first, okay?
- Yep.
750
00:52:14,673 --> 00:52:15,673
Shit!
751
00:52:23,349 --> 00:52:24,601
Shit!
752
00:52:26,727 --> 00:52:27,727
Shit!
753
00:52:29,396 --> 00:52:30,396
Rox!
754
00:52:33,859 --> 00:52:34,951
Fuck.
755
00:52:51,293 --> 00:52:53,466
Hugo, Digby
756
00:52:53,629 --> 00:52:56,428
You don't land in the K,
you're not in the K.
757
00:52:56,590 --> 00:52:58,934
Rufus, you opened too soon.
758
00:52:59,093 --> 00:53:00,436
You were all over the radar.
759
00:53:00,594 --> 00:53:02,437
All three of you,
pack your bags, go home.
760
00:53:04,556 --> 00:53:06,775
Eggsy, Roxy, congratulations.
761
00:53:07,101 --> 00:53:08,728
You set a new record.
762
00:53:08,894 --> 00:53:10,111
Opening at 300 feet...
763
00:53:10,270 --> 00:53:11,317
that's pretty ballsy.
764
00:53:11,480 --> 00:53:13,983
Well done for completing another task.
Fall out.
765
00:53:15,109 --> 00:53:16,110
Sorry, sir.
766
00:53:16,276 --> 00:53:17,949
But why the fuck did you
choose me as the gimp?
767
00:53:18,112 --> 00:53:19,329
Am I the expendable candidate?
768
00:53:19,488 --> 00:53:22,082
No, no, no.
You don't talk to me like that.
769
00:53:22,241 --> 00:53:24,801
You have a complaint, you come here
and you whisper it in my ear.
770
00:53:31,291 --> 00:53:34,010
You need to take
that chip off your shoulder.
771
00:54:04,992 --> 00:54:07,495
Mr. DeVere.
It's a pleasure to meet you.
772
00:54:08,120 --> 00:54:10,839
I'm awfully sorry.
I seem to have my dates muddled up.
773
00:54:10,998 --> 00:54:13,877
No, no, no.
I cancelled the gala because of you.
774
00:54:14,209 --> 00:54:16,007
Anybody willing to donate that much...
775
00:54:16,170 --> 00:54:18,343
deserves their own dinner.
Come in!
776
00:54:19,965 --> 00:54:20,966
Thank you.
777
00:54:22,843 --> 00:54:25,346
Got to admit,
I was really intrigued to meet you.
778
00:54:25,512 --> 00:54:27,355
There aren't many billionaires
I don't know.
779
00:54:27,514 --> 00:54:28,515
I don't doubt it.
780
00:54:28,682 --> 00:54:31,686
And, obviously,
I had my people look into your affairs...
781
00:54:31,852 --> 00:54:33,612
and that's some pretty old money
you're from.
782
00:54:33,729 --> 00:54:34,729
How'd your folks make it?
783
00:54:35,189 --> 00:54:38,193
Property, mostly.
Property and the markets.
784
00:54:38,358 --> 00:54:40,406
Nothing questionable,
if that's your concern.
785
00:54:40,569 --> 00:54:43,322
Look, I'm just into finding out
what caliber person you are.
786
00:54:43,489 --> 00:54:44,649
I'm sure you understand that.
787
00:54:44,865 --> 00:54:45,912
I most certainly do.
788
00:54:46,074 --> 00:54:47,576
- Hope you're hungry.
- I'm famished.
789
00:54:47,743 --> 00:54:48,790
Good.
790
00:54:48,869 --> 00:54:49,870
Grab a seat.
791
00:55:11,642 --> 00:55:12,842
I'll have the Big Mac, please.
792
00:55:12,893 --> 00:55:14,065
Great choice.
793
00:55:14,228 --> 00:55:17,653
But nothing beats two cheeseburgers
with secret sauce.
794
00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:19,613
Goes great with this '45 Lafite.
795
00:55:19,775 --> 00:55:20,776
A classic pairing.
796
00:55:21,193 --> 00:55:24,197
And may I suggest Twinkies
and a 1937 Château d'Yquem for pudding?
797
00:55:25,030 --> 00:55:26,407
I like it.
798
00:55:26,990 --> 00:55:30,790
So, you want to donate to my foundation.
799
00:55:30,953 --> 00:55:34,298
You are aware that I wound things
down in that area, right?
800
00:55:34,456 --> 00:55:37,380
Climate change is a threat,
which affects us all, Mr. Valentine.
801
00:55:37,543 --> 00:55:40,672
And you're one of the few powerful men
who seems to share my concerns.
802
00:55:40,838 --> 00:55:43,512
No, I shut things down,
because I wasn't getting anywhere.
803
00:55:43,674 --> 00:55:46,518
Every bit of research
kept pointing to the same thing.
804
00:55:46,677 --> 00:55:48,054
That carbon emissions
are a red herring...
805
00:55:48,220 --> 00:55:51,895
and that we're past the point of no return
no matter what remedial actions we take?
806
00:55:52,266 --> 00:55:53,893
You know your shit.
807
00:55:54,059 --> 00:55:57,654
I sometimes envy the blissful ignorance
of those less well versed in their...
808
00:55:58,188 --> 00:55:59,405
"shit."
809
00:56:00,440 --> 00:56:01,987
As Professor Arnold always said...
810
00:56:02,568 --> 00:56:04,991
"Humankind is the only virus
cursed to live...
811
00:56:05,153 --> 00:56:08,407
"with the horrifying knowledge
of its host's fragile mortality."
812
00:56:09,658 --> 00:56:12,207
You know, not a lot of people
knew about him.
813
00:56:14,913 --> 00:56:17,291
You like spy movies, Mr. DeVere?
814
00:56:20,961 --> 00:56:24,010
Nowadays, they're all a little
serious for my taste.
815
00:56:24,172 --> 00:56:25,172
But the old ones...
816
00:56:25,924 --> 00:56:27,176
Marvelous.
817
00:56:27,342 --> 00:56:29,595
Give me a far-fetched
theatrical plot any day.
818
00:56:29,761 --> 00:56:33,265
The old Bond movies. Oh, man!
819
00:56:33,432 --> 00:56:36,982
When I was a kid, that was my dream job.
820
00:56:37,769 --> 00:56:39,362
Gentleman spy.
821
00:56:39,730 --> 00:56:43,075
I always felt the old Bond films
were only as good as the villain.
822
00:56:43,442 --> 00:56:47,572
As a child, I rather fancied a future
as a colorful megalomaniac.
823
00:56:49,448 --> 00:56:52,748
What a shame we both had to grow up.
824
00:56:57,372 --> 00:56:58,589
Bon appétit.
825
00:57:01,126 --> 00:57:04,096
Just give me a couple of days
to think over your proposal.
826
00:57:04,254 --> 00:57:05,847
I'll have my people
get in touch with yours...
827
00:57:06,006 --> 00:57:07,508
and it's all good.
828
00:57:07,674 --> 00:57:11,224
And thank you for such a happy meal.
829
00:57:16,558 --> 00:57:17,935
Well, want me to follow him?
830
00:57:18,101 --> 00:57:19,227
Nah.
831
00:57:19,519 --> 00:57:21,988
I put a nano tracker gel in the wine.
832
00:57:22,147 --> 00:57:25,151
We'll know his every move
for the next 24 hours.
833
00:57:25,317 --> 00:57:27,866
Finally find out who he works for.
834
00:57:29,446 --> 00:57:31,414
Valentine didn't let me
out of his sight.
835
00:57:31,573 --> 00:57:34,076
All I got was this on the way in.
836
00:57:38,205 --> 00:57:41,300
South Glade Mission Church
is a hate group based in Kentucky.
837
00:57:42,167 --> 00:57:43,767
FBI have been monitoring them for years.
838
00:57:43,919 --> 00:57:45,717
But you think Valentine is a supporter?
839
00:57:45,879 --> 00:57:49,179
No evidence yet of a direct connection,
but I'll keep looking.
840
00:57:50,050 --> 00:57:51,427
By the way...
841
00:57:51,593 --> 00:57:56,645
our ever-growing list of missing persons
now includes Scandinavian royalty.
842
00:57:57,057 --> 00:57:59,776
Royal Crown Princess Tilde.
843
00:58:01,853 --> 00:58:04,697
Just let me out, you psycho!
844
00:58:04,856 --> 00:58:07,700
I told you, you're free to go
any time you want.
845
00:58:07,859 --> 00:58:10,112
As long as you agree to my conditions.
846
00:58:10,529 --> 00:58:12,156
I don't agree...
847
00:58:12,322 --> 00:58:15,041
and I am never ever going to agree!
848
00:58:15,200 --> 00:58:16,452
Tough shit.
849
00:58:16,868 --> 00:58:17,869
Bitch.
850
00:58:20,038 --> 00:58:21,790
I want to speak to the British Council!
851
00:58:22,416 --> 00:58:26,842
The list of missing celebrities and dignitaries
has continued to grow in recent weeks...
852
00:58:27,004 --> 00:58:30,884
and world leaders are coming under
increasing pressure to provide answers.
853
00:58:31,049 --> 00:58:34,804
We are doing everything in our power
to find Princess Tilde.
854
00:58:34,970 --> 00:58:38,144
You know,
governments and security forces worldwide...
855
00:58:38,306 --> 00:58:42,027
are working together to find the person
behind these abductions.
856
00:58:42,185 --> 00:58:43,865
In other news,
people all over the world...
857
00:58:44,021 --> 00:58:48,401
continue to wait in line day and night
to get their free SIM cards.
858
00:58:48,567 --> 00:58:51,036
Mrs. P, did you get one?
859
00:58:51,194 --> 00:58:53,788
Yeah, I've been queuing up all day.
860
00:58:53,947 --> 00:58:58,202
This unprecedented giveaway
by the philanthropist Richmond Valentine...
861
00:58:58,368 --> 00:59:01,212
has already seen
over a billion cards distributed.
862
00:59:01,371 --> 00:59:02,588
At ease.
863
00:59:04,750 --> 00:59:07,173
So you thought we were done
for the day, huh?
864
00:59:07,961 --> 00:59:09,178
Well, we're not.
865
00:59:10,797 --> 00:59:12,799
- A party?
- Tonight, in London.
866
00:59:14,551 --> 00:59:16,895
- Who's this?
- Your target.
867
00:59:17,054 --> 00:59:19,022
Your mission
is to use your NLP training...
868
00:59:19,181 --> 00:59:21,621
to win over the individual
on the photograph in your envelope.
869
00:59:21,725 --> 00:59:23,227
And when I say "win over"...
870
00:59:23,560 --> 00:59:25,187
I do mean in the biblical sense.
871
00:59:25,353 --> 00:59:26,525
Easy.
872
00:59:27,439 --> 00:59:29,487
Posh girls love a bit of rough.
873
00:59:29,649 --> 00:59:31,276
We'll see about that, yeah?
874
00:59:31,568 --> 00:59:33,366
We certainly will.
875
00:59:38,575 --> 00:59:39,575
Hi!
876
00:59:39,701 --> 00:59:43,001
Sorry, I just had to come over
and say, amazing eyes.
877
00:59:43,371 --> 00:59:44,611
Are you wearing color contacts?
878
00:59:44,748 --> 00:59:46,967
- No!
- You so are.
879
00:59:47,125 --> 00:59:49,503
Oh, my God, negging! That's hilarious.
880
00:59:49,669 --> 00:59:51,709
I haven't heard anyone try that
since the noughties.
881
00:59:51,713 --> 00:59:52,839
Excuse me?
882
00:59:53,006 --> 00:59:54,006
"Negging."
883
00:59:54,049 --> 00:59:58,020
Saying something negative to a pretty girl
in order to undermine her social value.
884
00:59:58,178 --> 01:00:00,226
It's supposed to make you
want to win his approval.
885
01:00:00,806 --> 01:00:03,855
Absurdly basic
neuro-linguistic programming technique.
886
01:00:04,017 --> 01:00:06,145
Is it just me, or does this champagne
taste a little bit funny?
887
01:00:06,311 --> 01:00:08,188
- It's an acquired taste, mate.
- I think it's just cheap.
888
01:00:08,355 --> 01:00:10,198
Get one of these instead.
They're delicious.
889
01:00:10,357 --> 01:00:13,076
If you're into seduction techniques,
this guy is textbook.
890
01:00:13,235 --> 01:00:15,988
See what he just did?
It's called an opinion opener.
891
01:00:16,154 --> 01:00:17,656
He got you talking
with a neutral question...
892
01:00:17,823 --> 01:00:19,583
got all of us involved
in the conversation...
893
01:00:19,699 --> 01:00:21,372
so that you craved individual attention.
894
01:00:22,077 --> 01:00:23,420
No, I'm just saying
the champagne tastes rank.
895
01:00:23,578 --> 01:00:25,330
Lady Sophie Montague-Herring.
896
01:00:25,497 --> 01:00:26,794
Phone call for you at reception.
897
01:00:26,957 --> 01:00:28,797
- Be right back.
- We'll see you in a bit, yeah?
898
01:00:28,834 --> 01:00:30,211
See you in a bit.
899
01:00:30,377 --> 01:00:32,220
Budge up, Rox. I'm feeling a bit rough.
900
01:00:32,379 --> 01:00:33,881
- Are you all right?
- No.
901
01:00:34,047 --> 01:00:35,094
Sorry to eavesdrop...
902
01:00:35,257 --> 01:00:38,807
but there's a much easier way
to guarantee getting someone home.
903
01:00:39,010 --> 01:00:40,557
Rohypnol.
904
01:00:42,722 --> 01:00:44,474
Or even something stronger.
905
01:01:02,033 --> 01:01:03,706
Who the fuck are you?
906
01:01:04,286 --> 01:01:05,708
Where am I?
907
01:01:08,123 --> 01:01:09,295
This knife...
908
01:01:09,457 --> 01:01:11,505
can save your life.
909
01:01:15,755 --> 01:01:16,756
Fuck!
910
01:01:17,174 --> 01:01:19,973
My employer's got two questions
for you, Eggsy.
911
01:01:20,135 --> 01:01:22,012
What the fuck is Kingsman?
912
01:01:22,179 --> 01:01:23,806
And who's Harry Hart?
913
01:01:23,972 --> 01:01:25,815
I don't know who the fuck that is!
914
01:01:25,974 --> 01:01:26,770
Shit!
915
01:01:26,933 --> 01:01:30,733
Eggsy, I just killed two of your friends
who gave me the same bullshit answer!
916
01:01:31,354 --> 01:01:32,354
Fuck!
917
01:01:32,731 --> 01:01:35,280
Just cut the fucking ropes, please!
918
01:01:35,442 --> 01:01:36,489
Hey, Eggsy!
919
01:01:36,651 --> 01:01:37,994
Is Kingsman worth dying for?
920
01:01:40,197 --> 01:01:41,574
Fuck you!
921
01:01:55,879 --> 01:01:57,176
Congratulations.
922
01:01:57,339 --> 01:01:58,556
Bloody well done.
923
01:02:00,842 --> 01:02:02,435
How did the others do?
924
01:02:02,594 --> 01:02:04,392
Roxy passed with flying colors.
925
01:02:04,930 --> 01:02:07,183
Charlie's up next. Want to watch?
926
01:02:08,600 --> 01:02:10,068
Yeah, all right.
927
01:02:12,562 --> 01:02:14,610
Is Kingsman really worth dying for?
928
01:02:14,773 --> 01:02:16,116
No, it fucking isn't!
929
01:02:16,274 --> 01:02:18,117
Shit, I'll tell you what you want.
Please!
930
01:02:18,276 --> 01:02:19,573
Chester King is Arthur.
931
01:02:19,736 --> 01:02:21,955
Arthur's head of a spy agency.
It's called Kingsman.
932
01:02:22,113 --> 01:02:23,793
- Get me out of here!
- Thank you, Charlie.
933
01:02:23,823 --> 01:02:25,166
Much appreciated.
934
01:02:25,325 --> 01:02:27,703
Come on!
That wasn't the fucking deal!
935
01:02:28,119 --> 01:02:30,417
Fuck!
936
01:02:37,420 --> 01:02:39,718
I had such high hopes for you.
937
01:02:39,923 --> 01:02:41,846
You're a bloody disgrace.
938
01:02:42,008 --> 01:02:43,009
Arthur, I'm sorry.
939
01:02:43,843 --> 01:02:45,186
At least untie me.
940
01:02:45,512 --> 01:02:46,855
Untie yourself.
941
01:02:48,515 --> 01:02:50,688
Arthur, please.
942
01:02:52,018 --> 01:02:54,567
I'm the fucking son of the... Shit!
943
01:02:54,729 --> 01:02:57,232
Anyone? Hello?
944
01:02:57,399 --> 01:02:59,948
Galahad, Percival, congratulations.
945
01:03:00,235 --> 01:03:03,034
Your candidates have reached
the final stage of the testing process.
946
01:03:03,196 --> 01:03:06,746
As tradition allows,
you now have 24 hours to spend with them.
947
01:03:07,367 --> 01:03:10,541
Eggsy, you should know your
father reached this point.
948
01:03:11,288 --> 01:03:12,289
From now on...
949
01:03:12,747 --> 01:03:14,227
there are no safety nets, understood?
950
01:03:18,086 --> 01:03:19,086
Good. Dismissed.
951
01:03:22,924 --> 01:03:25,052
Charlie, time to go home.
952
01:03:25,218 --> 01:03:26,561
Fuck you.
953
01:03:26,970 --> 01:03:29,223
Fucking dad's gonna hear about this!
954
01:03:31,391 --> 01:03:32,392
"To pee or not to pee?"
955
01:03:34,644 --> 01:03:35,645
That was the headline...
956
01:03:35,729 --> 01:03:38,403
the day after I defused
a dirty bomb in Paris.
957
01:03:38,898 --> 01:03:40,571
"Germany, 1, England, 5."
958
01:03:40,734 --> 01:03:41,826
Missed that game.
959
01:03:41,985 --> 01:03:44,955
I was breaking up an undercover
spy ring at the Pentagon.
960
01:03:50,452 --> 01:03:51,749
My first mission.
961
01:03:51,911 --> 01:03:53,711
Foiled the assassination
of Margaret Thatcher.
962
01:03:54,914 --> 01:03:56,594
Not everybody would
thank you for that one.
963
01:03:56,666 --> 01:03:59,419
The point is, Eggsy,
nobody thanked me for any of them.
964
01:04:00,086 --> 01:04:03,636
Front page news on all these occasions
was celebrity nonsense.
965
01:04:03,923 --> 01:04:07,473
Because it's the nature of Kingsman
that our achievements remain secret.
966
01:04:07,927 --> 01:04:11,272
A gentleman's name should appear
in the newspaper only three times.
967
01:04:11,431 --> 01:04:13,775
When he's born, when he marries,
and when he dies.
968
01:04:13,933 --> 01:04:17,107
And we are, first and foremost,
gentlemen.
969
01:04:17,437 --> 01:04:18,780
That's me fucked then.
970
01:04:19,773 --> 01:04:21,650
It's like Charlie said. I'm just a pleb.
971
01:04:21,816 --> 01:04:22,817
Nonsense.
972
01:04:22,984 --> 01:04:25,904
Being a gentleman has nothing to do
with the circumstances of one's birth.
973
01:04:26,446 --> 01:04:28,289
Being a gentleman
is something one learns.
974
01:04:29,032 --> 01:04:30,875
Yeah, but how?
975
01:04:31,785 --> 01:04:33,037
All right, first lesson.
976
01:04:33,203 --> 01:04:35,003
You should've asked me
before you took a seat.
977
01:04:36,498 --> 01:04:37,624
Second lesson...
978
01:04:38,625 --> 01:04:39,968
how to make a proper martini.
979
01:04:40,960 --> 01:04:43,054
Yes, Harry.
980
01:04:45,632 --> 01:04:48,681
Goddamn it! This fucking hurts!
981
01:04:49,177 --> 01:04:51,680
You're the one who asked
for a biometric security system.
982
01:04:51,846 --> 01:04:52,972
What's wrong with a simple switch?
983
01:04:53,139 --> 01:04:54,140
A simple switch?
984
01:04:54,307 --> 01:04:57,982
This is an extremely dangerous machine.
985
01:04:58,144 --> 01:05:02,695
It should only be operated by someone
as responsible and sane as me.
986
01:05:02,899 --> 01:05:05,152
Bad shit could happen
if this falls into the wrong hands.
987
01:05:08,363 --> 01:05:10,036
We done here? Shit!
988
01:05:10,198 --> 01:05:12,826
No. Now this one.
989
01:05:12,992 --> 01:05:14,072
For the test at the church.
990
01:05:14,202 --> 01:05:16,045
This one just has a short range.
991
01:05:16,204 --> 01:05:17,751
A simple switch will do.
992
01:05:23,711 --> 01:05:26,590
So are you gonna teach me how to
talk proper, like in My Fair Lady?
993
01:05:26,756 --> 01:05:28,224
Don't be absurd.
994
01:05:28,508 --> 01:05:31,057
Being a gentleman has nothing
to do with one's accent.
995
01:05:31,219 --> 01:05:33,517
It's about being at ease
in one's own skin.
996
01:05:33,680 --> 01:05:35,227
As Hemingway said,
"There is nothing noble...
997
01:05:35,390 --> 01:05:37,768
"in being superior to your fellow man.
998
01:05:38,184 --> 01:05:41,688
"True nobility is being superior
to your former self."
999
01:05:45,400 --> 01:05:48,745
Now, the first thing every
gentleman needs is a good suit.
1000
01:05:48,903 --> 01:05:52,203
By which I mean, a bespoke suit.
Never off-the-peg.
1001
01:05:52,365 --> 01:05:54,743
And Kingsman suits
are always bulletproof.
1002
01:05:54,909 --> 01:05:57,708
So let's get you measured,
and then, whether you get the job or not...
1003
01:05:57,871 --> 01:06:02,251
you'll have a lasting and useful memento
of your time at Kingsman.
1004
01:06:02,417 --> 01:06:06,047
I'm so sorry, sir, but a gentleman
is completing his fitting.
1005
01:06:06,212 --> 01:06:08,385
Fitting Room Two is available.
1006
01:06:08,548 --> 01:06:12,553
One does not use Fitting Room Two
when one is popping one's cherry.
1007
01:06:13,636 --> 01:06:16,435
Perhaps I'll show you Fitting Room Three
while we wait.
1008
01:06:26,816 --> 01:06:28,068
So we going up or down?
1009
01:06:28,234 --> 01:06:29,406
Neither.
1010
01:06:30,653 --> 01:06:31,654
Is this it?
1011
01:06:31,821 --> 01:06:34,916
Of course not.
Pull the hook on your left.
1012
01:06:42,165 --> 01:06:43,165
Oh, yes.
1013
01:06:43,416 --> 01:06:45,589
Very, very nice.
1014
01:06:48,630 --> 01:06:51,133
You're going to need a pair of shoes
to go with your suit.
1015
01:06:51,299 --> 01:06:55,429
An oxford is any formal shoe
with open lacing.
1016
01:06:55,595 --> 01:06:58,815
This additional decorative piece
is called broguing.
1017
01:06:58,973 --> 01:07:00,145
"Oxfords not brogues."
1018
01:07:00,308 --> 01:07:01,935
Words to live by, Eggsy.
1019
01:07:02,143 --> 01:07:04,771
Words to live by. Try a pair.
1020
01:07:05,522 --> 01:07:07,282
Your weapon scores are excellent,
by the way.
1021
01:07:08,441 --> 01:07:11,695
These you are familiar with,
and this is our standard issue pistol.
1022
01:07:11,861 --> 01:07:13,488
It's quite unique, as you'll see.
1023
01:07:13,655 --> 01:07:17,000
It also fires a shotgun cartridge
for use in messy close-range situations.
1024
01:07:17,158 --> 01:07:18,626
- How do they feel?
- Yeah, good.
1025
01:07:18,785 --> 01:07:20,128
Now do your very best impersonation...
1026
01:07:20,286 --> 01:07:21,959
of a German aristocrat's
formal greeting.
1027
01:07:25,500 --> 01:07:26,717
No, Eggsy.
1028
01:07:30,838 --> 01:07:32,090
That is sick.
1029
01:07:33,132 --> 01:07:35,252
In the old days,
they had a phone in the heel as well.
1030
01:07:35,260 --> 01:07:36,307
How do I get it back in?
1031
01:07:36,469 --> 01:07:40,349
Well, it's coated in one of the fastest
acting neurotoxins known to man...
1032
01:07:40,515 --> 01:07:42,017
so very carefully.
1033
01:07:43,935 --> 01:07:47,656
Now, I've had a lot of fun with this.
1034
01:07:47,814 --> 01:07:50,818
One of our finest examples
of chemical engineering.
1035
01:07:50,984 --> 01:07:53,487
A poison, harmless when ingested...
1036
01:07:53,653 --> 01:07:55,530
but at a time convenient to you...
1037
01:07:55,697 --> 01:07:59,702
can be remotely activated. Primed.
1038
01:08:01,160 --> 01:08:02,160
Lethal.
1039
01:08:03,371 --> 01:08:05,499
What about these? What do these do?
1040
01:08:05,873 --> 01:08:07,841
- Electrocute you?
- Don't be ridiculous.
1041
01:08:08,001 --> 01:08:09,844
- It's a hand grenade.
- Shut up!
1042
01:08:10,003 --> 01:08:12,443
If you want to electrocute someone,
you'll need a signet ring.
1043
01:08:12,463 --> 01:08:14,557
A gentleman traditionally
wears the signet on his left hand.
1044
01:08:14,716 --> 01:08:17,686
But a Kingsman wears it on
whichever hand happens to be dominant.
1045
01:08:17,844 --> 01:08:19,284
Touch the contact behind the ring...
1046
01:08:19,345 --> 01:08:20,471
it delivers 50,000 volts.
1047
01:08:22,390 --> 01:08:24,859
And what about them?
What makes them so special?
1048
01:08:25,018 --> 01:08:26,019
Nothing.
1049
01:08:26,185 --> 01:08:28,904
That technology has caught up
with the spy world.
1050
01:08:29,897 --> 01:08:31,695
Put it back, Eggsy.
1051
01:08:34,068 --> 01:08:35,536
Perfect timing.
1052
01:08:35,695 --> 01:08:37,572
The gentleman's just finished.
1053
01:08:42,702 --> 01:08:44,045
Mr. DeVere!
1054
01:08:45,538 --> 01:08:47,211
What a coincidence.
1055
01:08:47,832 --> 01:08:50,711
You are totally the reason I'm here.
1056
01:08:50,918 --> 01:08:52,044
When you left my house...
1057
01:08:52,211 --> 01:08:56,011
I was thirsting for that dope-ass
smoking jacket you had on.
1058
01:08:56,174 --> 01:08:57,676
And since I'm going to Royal Ascot...
1059
01:08:57,842 --> 01:09:00,002
and, apparently,
you need one of these penguin suits...
1060
01:09:00,428 --> 01:09:01,600
here I am.
1061
01:09:02,180 --> 01:09:03,181
What are you doing here?
1062
01:09:03,431 --> 01:09:04,774
What's up, man?
1063
01:09:04,932 --> 01:09:06,058
Richmond Valentine.
1064
01:09:06,392 --> 01:09:09,396
This is my new valet.
I was just introducing him to my tailor.
1065
01:09:09,562 --> 01:09:12,406
Another coincidence. So am I.
1066
01:09:12,774 --> 01:09:14,974
Have you had any chance
to think further on my proposal?
1067
01:09:15,026 --> 01:09:16,027
Most definitely.
1068
01:09:16,235 --> 01:09:19,239
My people will be getting
in touch with you very soon.
1069
01:09:19,405 --> 01:09:20,873
I guarantee it.
1070
01:09:21,574 --> 01:09:22,917
A word of advice.
1071
01:09:23,242 --> 01:09:25,461
Ascot requires top hat.
1072
01:09:26,454 --> 01:09:29,583
I might suggest Lock and Co. Hatters.
1073
01:09:30,416 --> 01:09:31,463
Saint James's.
1074
01:09:31,626 --> 01:09:32,878
"Lox" as in smoked fish?
1075
01:09:33,211 --> 01:09:35,760
As in, "locked up."
1076
01:09:38,800 --> 01:09:41,724
I have trouble understanding
you people sometimes.
1077
01:09:42,303 --> 01:09:44,397
You all talk so funny.
1078
01:09:51,396 --> 01:09:54,491
Gentlemen, would you look after him,
please?
1079
01:10:06,994 --> 01:10:08,291
Now this...
1080
01:10:08,454 --> 01:10:10,331
is a dope-ass top hat.
1081
01:10:11,999 --> 01:10:15,299
Gazelle, let's go ascoting.
1082
01:10:16,796 --> 01:10:18,013
Your hat looks fine, Gazelle.
1083
01:10:18,172 --> 01:10:21,016
Come on!
Don't make me late for the queen.
1084
01:10:21,759 --> 01:10:24,433
Come on, Gazelle! We're gonna be late.
1085
01:10:24,595 --> 01:10:26,142
How far is Ascot?
1086
01:10:26,597 --> 01:10:27,644
How far?
1087
01:10:31,853 --> 01:10:33,373
Merlin said you wanted to see me, sir?
1088
01:10:33,646 --> 01:10:35,148
Sit down.
1089
01:10:40,361 --> 01:10:41,613
Pretty dog.
1090
01:10:42,029 --> 01:10:43,326
What's his name?
1091
01:10:43,489 --> 01:10:44,490
J.B.
1092
01:10:44,657 --> 01:10:46,830
- As in "James Bond"?
- No.
1093
01:10:47,118 --> 01:10:48,620
"Jason Bourne"?
1094
01:10:48,786 --> 01:10:50,788
No. "Jack Bauer."
1095
01:10:51,122 --> 01:10:52,169
Oh!
1096
01:10:52,832 --> 01:10:53,833
Bravo.
1097
01:10:54,500 --> 01:10:55,626
It pains me to admit it...
1098
01:10:55,793 --> 01:10:58,672
but I think that one day,
you might be as good a spy...
1099
01:10:58,838 --> 01:11:00,306
as any of them.
1100
01:11:07,346 --> 01:11:09,019
Take it.
1101
01:11:15,855 --> 01:11:17,072
Shoot the dog.
1102
01:11:23,863 --> 01:11:25,160
This weapon is live.
1103
01:11:28,367 --> 01:11:29,367
Shoot the dog.
1104
01:12:08,032 --> 01:12:09,079
Give me the gun.
1105
01:12:20,419 --> 01:12:22,137
At least the girl's got balls.
1106
01:12:25,758 --> 01:12:26,759
Get out.
1107
01:12:27,426 --> 01:12:29,428
I knew you couldn't make it.
1108
01:12:32,723 --> 01:12:34,066
Go home.
1109
01:12:35,560 --> 01:12:38,404
Merlin, send in Roxy, please.
1110
01:13:02,169 --> 01:13:05,173
Welcome to Kingsman...
1111
01:13:06,132 --> 01:13:07,258
Lancelot.
1112
01:13:30,615 --> 01:13:31,616
Mum!
1113
01:13:32,033 --> 01:13:33,159
Eggsy!
1114
01:13:33,367 --> 01:13:34,664
Oh, God. Where have you been?
1115
01:13:34,827 --> 01:13:36,829
I've been so worried about you.
1116
01:13:38,789 --> 01:13:42,043
Oh, my days. Look how big you've grown!
1117
01:13:47,840 --> 01:13:49,888
- Where is he?
- I'm fine.
1118
01:13:50,051 --> 01:13:51,724
Eggsy, please, just don't get involved.
1119
01:13:51,886 --> 01:13:53,559
I should never have left you
on your own.
1120
01:13:53,721 --> 01:13:56,144
This stops right now.
1121
01:13:56,307 --> 01:13:57,399
I'll be right back.
1122
01:13:57,558 --> 01:13:59,151
Eggsy.
1123
01:14:01,520 --> 01:14:02,863
Oi, Dean!
1124
01:14:03,856 --> 01:14:05,699
Mugsy, so you're back.
1125
01:14:05,858 --> 01:14:07,735
What, you gone and nicked
a fucking taxi, now?
1126
01:14:07,902 --> 01:14:09,324
Yeah.
1127
01:14:09,487 --> 01:14:11,535
Can I have a word
about my mum's black eye?
1128
01:14:12,531 --> 01:14:14,249
You want to have a word with me,
you get out of that cab...
1129
01:14:14,408 --> 01:14:16,568
I'll knock you straight back down
on your fucking arse.
1130
01:14:18,329 --> 01:14:20,331
Tell your muppets to go inside,
then I'll get out.
1131
01:14:22,583 --> 01:14:24,506
Go on, lads. It'll be two hits.
1132
01:14:24,669 --> 01:14:26,717
Me hitting him, him hitting the floor.
1133
01:14:27,213 --> 01:14:29,557
Come on, then, you prick.
1134
01:14:29,715 --> 01:14:31,592
Let's see what you got.
Want a bit of me?
1135
01:14:31,759 --> 01:14:32,555
What are you doing?
1136
01:14:32,718 --> 01:14:33,718
No, no, no!
1137
01:14:33,761 --> 01:14:34,557
Get out of the fucking car!
1138
01:14:34,720 --> 01:14:36,597
What are you doing?
Where you going, you mug?
1139
01:14:36,764 --> 01:14:38,061
Go on, you got no bollocks!
1140
01:14:38,849 --> 01:14:40,851
Come on, bruv, he hit my fucking mum!
1141
01:14:41,018 --> 01:14:42,418
Come back when you've grown a pair!
1142
01:14:42,561 --> 01:14:43,561
Mugsy!
1143
01:15:06,335 --> 01:15:07,336
You throw away...
1144
01:15:07,503 --> 01:15:11,474
your biggest opportunity
over a fucking dog.
1145
01:15:12,466 --> 01:15:14,810
And then you humiliate me
by stealing my boss's car.
1146
01:15:15,052 --> 01:15:17,146
You shot a dog
just to get a fucking job.
1147
01:15:17,555 --> 01:15:18,556
Yes, I did.
1148
01:15:21,559 --> 01:15:25,439
And Mr. Pickle here reminds me of that
every time I take a shit!
1149
01:15:27,023 --> 01:15:29,526
You shot your dog and had it stuffed?
1150
01:15:29,692 --> 01:15:30,909
You fucking freak.
1151
01:15:31,068 --> 01:15:32,445
No, I shot my dog...
1152
01:15:32,611 --> 01:15:34,284
and then I brought him home
and continued to care for him...
1153
01:15:34,447 --> 01:15:36,870
for the next 11 years
until he died of pancreatitis.
1154
01:15:37,616 --> 01:15:40,244
- What?
- It was a blank, Eggsy.
1155
01:15:41,412 --> 01:15:43,085
It was a fucking blank.
1156
01:15:43,873 --> 01:15:45,250
Remember Amelia?
1157
01:15:45,416 --> 01:15:46,167
Yeah.
1158
01:15:46,333 --> 01:15:47,459
She didn't drown.
1159
01:15:47,626 --> 01:15:50,379
She works in our tech department in Berlin.
She's fine.
1160
01:15:50,546 --> 01:15:51,763
Limits must be tested...
1161
01:15:51,922 --> 01:15:54,550
a Kingsman only condones
the risking of a life to save another.
1162
01:15:54,717 --> 01:15:57,687
Like my dad saved your life
even though your fuck-up cost his.
1163
01:15:57,845 --> 01:15:59,518
Or have you got him
stuffed here and all?
1164
01:16:01,557 --> 01:16:04,652
Can't you see that everything I've done
has been about trying to repay him?
1165
01:16:10,441 --> 01:16:12,114
Harry, listen to this.
1166
01:16:12,276 --> 01:16:14,076
Valentine is at last
saying something of note.
1167
01:16:14,445 --> 01:16:16,698
Do you know what I love
about pen and paper?
1168
01:16:17,198 --> 01:16:19,701
Nobody can hack into this shit.
1169
01:16:20,117 --> 01:16:23,462
Our worldwide tour
was a complete success.
1170
01:16:23,621 --> 01:16:26,090
We have total coverall.
1171
01:16:26,248 --> 01:16:29,047
Like when all your numbers in bingo
are crossed out.
1172
01:16:29,210 --> 01:16:30,210
Bingo?
1173
01:16:30,252 --> 01:16:33,631
Bingo, the game.
You have played bingo, right?
1174
01:16:34,507 --> 01:16:36,305
Do I look like I play bingo?
1175
01:16:38,511 --> 01:16:39,558
Point is...
1176
01:16:40,221 --> 01:16:44,692
if our tests go well at the church tomorrow,
we are good to go.
1177
01:16:44,850 --> 01:16:47,353
South Glade Mission Church.
1178
01:16:48,270 --> 01:16:50,443
- Merlin, get the plane ready.
- Will do.
1179
01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:52,366
Harry, I'm so sorry.
I'm gonna do whatever...
1180
01:16:52,399 --> 01:16:53,400
You should be.
1181
01:16:53,567 --> 01:16:56,207
You just stay right there.
I'll sort this mess out when I get back.
1182
01:17:02,368 --> 01:17:04,086
And I say to you...
1183
01:17:04,245 --> 01:17:05,497
bear witness!
1184
01:17:05,663 --> 01:17:08,257
Watch the news. Watch the news.
1185
01:17:08,415 --> 01:17:09,712
AIDS!
1186
01:17:10,167 --> 01:17:11,167
Floods!
1187
01:17:11,168 --> 01:17:13,296
The blood of the innocent, spilled!
1188
01:17:13,462 --> 01:17:18,639
And yet, there are those who doubt
this is the wrath of God.
1189
01:17:20,469 --> 01:17:27,148
Our filthy government condones
sodomy, divorce, abortion!
1190
01:17:27,309 --> 01:17:29,858
And yet, some still doubt...
1191
01:17:30,020 --> 01:17:33,900
this is the work of the antichrist!
1192
01:17:34,066 --> 01:17:38,947
You do not have to be
a Jew, a nigger, a whore...
1193
01:17:39,113 --> 01:17:41,866
or an atheistic, science-loving
evolution spouter...
1194
01:17:42,199 --> 01:17:43,667
Charming sermon.
1195
01:17:43,826 --> 01:17:45,499
Can you see Valentine anywhere?
1196
01:17:45,661 --> 01:17:47,083
So, my friends...
1197
01:17:47,246 --> 01:17:50,295
although he is a just God,
he is justly a vengeful one...
1198
01:17:50,457 --> 01:17:53,427
and there can be no turning back...
1199
01:17:53,586 --> 01:17:55,213
from the almighty wrath...
1200
01:17:55,379 --> 01:17:56,847
Are you sure we're out of range?
1201
01:17:57,089 --> 01:17:58,689
We're over 1,000 feet away.
What's wrong?
1202
01:17:58,799 --> 01:18:00,199
What if the calculations are wrong?
1203
01:18:00,217 --> 01:18:01,810
You just have to trust me.
1204
01:18:03,012 --> 01:18:07,483
...Jew, nigger, fag lovers,
and the devil is burning them...
1205
01:18:07,641 --> 01:18:08,938
for all eternity.
1206
01:18:09,101 --> 01:18:10,273
Would you excuse me?
1207
01:18:11,270 --> 01:18:12,270
Where are you going?
1208
01:18:12,938 --> 01:18:14,736
Hey! What's your problem?
1209
01:18:16,317 --> 01:18:17,739
I'm a Catholic whore...
1210
01:18:17,902 --> 01:18:21,497
currently enjoying congress out of wedlock
with my black, Jewish boyfriend...
1211
01:18:21,655 --> 01:18:24,204
who works in a military abortion clinic.
1212
01:18:24,783 --> 01:18:26,126
So, hail Satan...
1213
01:18:26,285 --> 01:18:28,287
and have a lovely afternoon, madam.
1214
01:18:31,665 --> 01:18:33,087
Oh, shit. He's leaving.
1215
01:18:33,250 --> 01:18:34,843
I'm starting the test now.
1216
01:18:35,294 --> 01:18:37,388
Let's hope enough of these freaks
have our SIM cards.
1217
01:18:40,174 --> 01:18:43,053
I kindly ask you to sit down,
my friend!
1218
01:18:43,219 --> 01:18:44,266
Just leave this church!
1219
01:18:44,428 --> 01:18:46,806
You just leave this church
like the infidel you are!
1220
01:18:49,350 --> 01:18:52,570
Satan cannot save you now!
You will eat your babies.
1221
01:18:52,728 --> 01:18:56,232
You will drown in the blood of the Lord!
1222
01:18:56,398 --> 01:18:57,866
He will not save you!
1223
01:19:04,073 --> 01:19:05,074
Holy fuck!
1224
01:19:06,825 --> 01:19:08,998
Shit, I can't watch this. Get over here.
1225
01:19:50,995 --> 01:19:52,997
Jeez! Fuck.
1226
01:19:53,872 --> 01:19:56,000
Galahad, can you hear me?
1227
01:19:56,417 --> 01:19:57,417
Harry!
1228
01:19:57,793 --> 01:20:00,171
Harry, what the heck is going on?
1229
01:20:01,338 --> 01:20:02,898
Could you turn the volume down, please?
1230
01:20:04,133 --> 01:20:06,101
I didn't expect it to be that effective.
1231
01:20:06,260 --> 01:20:07,740
What kind of response are we talking?
1232
01:20:08,262 --> 01:20:09,263
100 percent.
1233
01:20:10,389 --> 01:20:13,393
So, everyone's been affected,
whether they have a SIM card or not.
1234
01:20:13,809 --> 01:20:16,009
And we get the added benefit
of wiping out the Kingsman.
1235
01:20:16,603 --> 01:20:18,446
Not yet.
1236
01:21:13,410 --> 01:21:14,707
You need to see this.
1237
01:23:11,778 --> 01:23:13,621
What did you do to me?
1238
01:23:13,947 --> 01:23:15,574
I had no control.
1239
01:23:16,909 --> 01:23:18,377
I killed all those people.
1240
01:23:20,329 --> 01:23:21,546
I wanted to.
1241
01:23:21,705 --> 01:23:22,797
Clever, isn't it?
1242
01:23:22,956 --> 01:23:25,675
In simple terms,
it's a neurological wave...
1243
01:23:25,834 --> 01:23:27,474
that triggers
the centers of aggression...
1244
01:23:27,544 --> 01:23:29,262
and switches off inhibitors.
1245
01:23:29,796 --> 01:23:32,720
Transmitted through your nasty,
free SIM cards, I assume.
1246
01:23:35,969 --> 01:23:37,846
Do you know what this is like?
1247
01:23:38,055 --> 01:23:41,309
It's like those old movies we both love.
1248
01:23:41,475 --> 01:23:44,570
Now, I'm going to tell you
my whole plan...
1249
01:23:44,728 --> 01:23:47,982
and then I'm going to come up with some
absurd and convoluted way to kill you...
1250
01:23:48,148 --> 01:23:50,776
and you'll find an equally
convoluted way to escape.
1251
01:23:51,860 --> 01:23:53,328
Sounds good to me.
1252
01:23:54,071 --> 01:23:56,199
Well, this ain't that kind of movie.
1253
01:23:59,826 --> 01:24:02,329
No!
1254
01:24:10,462 --> 01:24:12,180
Is he dead?
1255
01:24:12,339 --> 01:24:14,808
That tends to happen
when you shoot someone in the head.
1256
01:24:15,008 --> 01:24:16,134
It feels good, right?
1257
01:24:16,593 --> 01:24:18,713
No, no, it does not feel good.
It feels fucking awful.
1258
01:24:18,845 --> 01:24:21,143
What? You just killed
how many people in that church?
1259
01:24:21,306 --> 01:24:22,306
This is one guy.
1260
01:24:22,432 --> 01:24:24,434
No, no, they killed each other.
1261
01:24:27,312 --> 01:24:29,235
Okay, send out the countdown clock.
1262
01:24:29,398 --> 01:24:32,072
This party starts tomorrow.
1263
01:25:06,727 --> 01:25:08,104
Arthur?
1264
01:25:10,230 --> 01:25:11,732
Are you there?
1265
01:25:12,024 --> 01:25:14,197
Sadly, I am.
1266
01:25:14,568 --> 01:25:18,038
Assemble the Kingsmen.
1267
01:25:21,783 --> 01:25:25,879
Can't you see that everything I've done
has been about trying to repay him?
1268
01:25:46,391 --> 01:25:48,769
I see a young man with potential...
1269
01:25:49,561 --> 01:25:52,235
who wants to do something
good with his life.
1270
01:26:08,914 --> 01:26:11,258
Arthur, Harry's dead.
1271
01:26:11,917 --> 01:26:14,340
Galahad is dead.
1272
01:26:14,503 --> 01:26:16,926
Hence, we have just drunk
a toast to him.
1273
01:26:17,589 --> 01:26:20,138
Well, then you know
what that psycho's doing.
1274
01:26:20,300 --> 01:26:22,928
How many people around the world
have got those SIM cards?
1275
01:26:23,095 --> 01:26:25,473
Valentine can send his signal
to any of them, all of them.
1276
01:26:25,639 --> 01:26:27,687
If they all go homicidal
at the same time then...
1277
01:26:27,849 --> 01:26:30,147
Indeed, and thanks
to Galahad's recordings...
1278
01:26:30,310 --> 01:26:32,938
we have Valentine's confession.
1279
01:26:33,105 --> 01:26:36,484
The intelligence has been passed on
to the relevant authorities.
1280
01:26:36,650 --> 01:26:37,993
Our work is complete...
1281
01:26:38,151 --> 01:26:42,622
and a most distinguished legacy
for our fallen friend, it is, too.
1282
01:26:43,448 --> 01:26:44,620
And that's it?
1283
01:26:45,784 --> 01:26:46,956
Come sit down, boy.
1284
01:26:50,330 --> 01:26:55,336
This is an 1815 Napoleonic brandy.
1285
01:26:56,378 --> 01:26:59,632
And we only drink it
when we lose a Kingsman.
1286
01:27:00,298 --> 01:27:03,302
Galahad was very fond of you.
1287
01:27:05,470 --> 01:27:07,893
And on this occasion...
1288
01:27:08,056 --> 01:27:11,401
I think it's acceptable for us
to bend the rules a little.
1289
01:27:13,812 --> 01:27:14,984
Are these all Kingsmen?
1290
01:27:15,147 --> 01:27:17,491
Yes, they're founder members.
1291
01:27:18,859 --> 01:27:20,907
I want you to join me in a toast.
1292
01:27:23,155 --> 01:27:25,157
To Galahad.
1293
01:27:26,158 --> 01:27:27,660
To Galahad.
1294
01:27:32,205 --> 01:27:34,833
Harry says you don't like
to break rules, Arthur.
1295
01:27:35,333 --> 01:27:36,425
Why now?
1296
01:27:36,585 --> 01:27:37,837
You're very good, Eggsy.
1297
01:27:38,003 --> 01:27:41,598
Perhaps I will make you my proposal
for Galahad's position.
1298
01:27:42,507 --> 01:27:45,226
Provided, of course,
that we can see eye to eye...
1299
01:27:45,385 --> 01:27:47,513
on certain political matters.
1300
01:27:50,348 --> 01:27:51,895
Can you guess...
1301
01:27:53,018 --> 01:27:54,611
what this is?
1302
01:27:54,770 --> 01:27:56,443
I don't have to. Harry showed me.
1303
01:27:56,605 --> 01:27:58,107
You click it. I die.
1304
01:27:58,273 --> 01:28:00,071
I thought that brandy tasted a bit shit.
1305
01:28:02,027 --> 01:28:03,027
Bravo.
1306
01:28:03,361 --> 01:28:06,535
Valentine won you over, somehow.
1307
01:28:06,698 --> 01:28:09,542
Once he explained, I understood.
1308
01:28:09,701 --> 01:28:10,953
When you get a virus...
1309
01:28:11,244 --> 01:28:12,461
you get a fever.
1310
01:28:12,621 --> 01:28:16,626
That's the human body raising
its core temperature to kill the virus.
1311
01:28:16,792 --> 01:28:19,045
Planet Earth works the same way.
1312
01:28:19,211 --> 01:28:21,134
Global warming is the fever.
1313
01:28:21,296 --> 01:28:24,095
Mankind is the virus.
1314
01:28:24,257 --> 01:28:26,635
We're making our planet sick.
1315
01:28:26,802 --> 01:28:29,396
A cull is our only hope.
1316
01:28:29,554 --> 01:28:31,807
If we don't reduce
our population ourselves...
1317
01:28:31,973 --> 01:28:34,567
there is only one of two ways
this can go.
1318
01:28:34,726 --> 01:28:38,981
The host kills the virus,
or the virus kills the host.
1319
01:28:39,272 --> 01:28:40,272
Either way...
1320
01:28:40,315 --> 01:28:42,784
The result is the same.
1321
01:28:42,943 --> 01:28:44,570
The virus dies.
1322
01:28:45,654 --> 01:28:49,079
So Valentine's gonna take care
of the population problem himself.
1323
01:28:49,241 --> 01:28:51,744
Well, if we don't do something,
nature will.
1324
01:28:51,910 --> 01:28:56,256
Sometimes a culling is the only way
to ensure that this species survives...
1325
01:28:56,957 --> 01:28:59,085
and history will see Valentine...
1326
01:28:59,251 --> 01:29:01,504
as the man who saved
humanity from extinction.
1327
01:29:02,087 --> 01:29:05,432
And he gets to pick and choose
who gets culled, does he?
1328
01:29:05,590 --> 01:29:06,807
All his rich mates, they get to live...
1329
01:29:06,967 --> 01:29:09,470
and anyone he thinks is worth saving,
he's keeping them safe...
1330
01:29:09,636 --> 01:29:11,604
whether they agree with him or not.
1331
01:29:11,763 --> 01:29:13,936
And you, Eggsy.
1332
01:29:14,474 --> 01:29:16,442
In Harry's honor...
1333
01:29:16,601 --> 01:29:21,277
I am inviting you
to be part of a new world.
1334
01:29:23,358 --> 01:29:25,656
It's time to make your decision.
1335
01:29:32,534 --> 01:29:34,502
I'd rather be with Harry.
1336
01:29:35,120 --> 01:29:36,120
Thanks.
1337
01:29:36,788 --> 01:29:38,165
So be it.
1338
01:29:54,472 --> 01:29:57,726
The problem with us common types...
1339
01:29:57,893 --> 01:29:59,486
is that we're light-fingered.
1340
01:30:00,687 --> 01:30:02,405
Kingsman's taught me a lot...
1341
01:30:02,564 --> 01:30:03,816
but sleight of hand...
1342
01:30:04,482 --> 01:30:06,234
Yes, they're founder members.
1343
01:30:08,862 --> 01:30:10,159
I had that down already.
1344
01:30:12,490 --> 01:30:16,085
You dirty little fucking...
1345
01:30:16,244 --> 01:30:17,666
prick.
1346
01:30:51,947 --> 01:30:53,699
It's okay, Lancelot. Put it down.
1347
01:30:54,866 --> 01:30:56,413
It's verified.
1348
01:30:58,787 --> 01:31:01,381
Arthur's phone is receiving update
texts about getting to safety.
1349
01:31:01,539 --> 01:31:03,291
- We don't have a lot of time.
- What are you going to do?
1350
01:31:03,458 --> 01:31:05,586
The question is,
what are we going to do?
1351
01:31:05,752 --> 01:31:08,471
God knows who's in Valentine's pocket
and who's not.
1352
01:31:09,130 --> 01:31:10,632
We have no choice.
1353
01:31:11,716 --> 01:31:13,810
We are gonna have to deal
with this ourselves.
1354
01:31:17,222 --> 01:31:18,565
Follow me.
1355
01:31:37,450 --> 01:31:38,747
What the fuck is this?
1356
01:31:38,910 --> 01:31:40,753
I have no idea.
1357
01:31:41,746 --> 01:31:42,918
What you're playing with...
1358
01:31:43,081 --> 01:31:45,800
is a prototype personal
transatmospheric vehicle.
1359
01:31:45,959 --> 01:31:48,257
It was developed as part of
Reagan's Star Wars project.
1360
01:31:48,420 --> 01:31:51,344
It's pretty basic,
but it should still work.
1361
01:31:51,589 --> 01:31:53,967
We're gonna take out
one of Valentine's satellites.
1362
01:31:54,342 --> 01:31:56,811
We're gonna break the chain,
stop the signal.
1363
01:31:56,970 --> 01:31:58,890
It'll take him a couple of hours
to reroute it...
1364
01:31:59,305 --> 01:32:03,685
which buys us enough time for you
to get me into Valentine's mainframe...
1365
01:32:03,852 --> 01:32:05,650
so I can shut it down.
1366
01:32:05,812 --> 01:32:08,110
Lancelot, you're going to be using it.
1367
01:32:08,273 --> 01:32:09,650
Get into your halo suit.
1368
01:32:22,287 --> 01:32:24,407
Swedish Prime Minister,
requesting permission to land.
1369
01:32:30,045 --> 01:32:31,797
Permission granted.
1370
01:32:35,383 --> 01:32:37,886
- Please.
- Thank you.
1371
01:32:38,053 --> 01:32:40,147
- How many more are we expecting?
- Not many.
1372
01:32:40,305 --> 01:32:41,648
Most have their own bunkers.
1373
01:32:41,806 --> 01:32:45,151
I figure we're just getting
the really nervous ones.
1374
01:32:45,393 --> 01:32:47,395
Welcome, Prime Minister.
1375
01:32:48,688 --> 01:32:51,658
It seems the implant
can emit some kind of counter signal...
1376
01:32:51,816 --> 01:32:55,491
to ensure the wearer remains unaffected
by the waves from the SIM cards.
1377
01:32:55,653 --> 01:32:57,701
The waves that turn everyone
into a psycho killer.
1378
01:32:57,864 --> 01:33:00,413
Quite. But what he
probably didn't tell anyone...
1379
01:33:00,575 --> 01:33:04,830
is it can also super heat
their soft tissue at his command.
1380
01:33:04,996 --> 01:33:09,172
Valentine selected his chosen few
to get the countdown warning...
1381
01:33:09,334 --> 01:33:12,178
but he had to be sure they didn't blab
to the wrong people beforehand.
1382
01:33:12,337 --> 01:33:14,055
How does this help us right now?
1383
01:33:15,006 --> 01:33:16,007
It doesn't.
1384
01:33:16,382 --> 01:33:17,759
Roxy, here we go!
1385
01:33:30,688 --> 01:33:34,283
The higher you go,
the more the balloons expand.
1386
01:33:34,442 --> 01:33:36,285
When you reach
the edge of the atmosphere...
1387
01:33:36,444 --> 01:33:38,572
they'll explode.
1388
01:33:38,738 --> 01:33:40,740
You'll need to deploy your missile
just before that, okay?
1389
01:33:40,907 --> 01:33:42,250
Edge of the atmosphere.
1390
01:33:42,408 --> 01:33:45,708
And once you've deployed,
you'll need to release for descent, fast.
1391
01:33:46,704 --> 01:33:47,956
Good luck.
1392
01:33:50,291 --> 01:33:52,293
- You can do this, okay?
- Yeah.
1393
01:33:52,460 --> 01:33:55,259
Eggsy, come on. Time is not our friend.
1394
01:34:17,735 --> 01:34:19,737
You're getting in
on Arthur's invitation.
1395
01:34:19,904 --> 01:34:21,121
You're gonna need to blend in.
1396
01:34:21,281 --> 01:34:22,407
I'm supposed to be Arthur?
1397
01:34:22,574 --> 01:34:25,578
His invitation is in his phone.
You give them this.
1398
01:34:25,743 --> 01:34:28,246
- Give his real name, Chester King.
- What about you?
1399
01:34:28,413 --> 01:34:29,853
I'm your pilot. I'm gonna stay here.
1400
01:34:30,915 --> 01:34:32,007
Is that gonna fit me?
1401
01:34:32,167 --> 01:34:34,670
A bespoke suit always fits.
1402
01:34:34,836 --> 01:34:36,634
Just be grateful
Harry had it made for you.
1403
01:34:37,589 --> 01:34:38,590
Get dressed.
1404
01:34:40,049 --> 01:34:41,329
What the fuck's wrong with them?
1405
01:34:41,426 --> 01:34:44,179
I don't know. Could have something to do
with the mass genocide.
1406
01:34:44,345 --> 01:34:46,268
Give me the mic.
1407
01:34:48,099 --> 01:34:49,646
Hey-oh!
1408
01:34:49,809 --> 01:34:52,733
Everybody, listen up! Hello, hello!
1409
01:34:52,896 --> 01:34:55,115
What the fuck is wrong with you people?
1410
01:34:55,273 --> 01:34:58,117
I just wanna remind you that today...
1411
01:34:58,276 --> 01:35:00,870
is a day of celebration.
1412
01:35:01,696 --> 01:35:05,200
We must put aside
all thoughts of death...
1413
01:35:05,366 --> 01:35:07,243
and focus on birth.
1414
01:35:08,328 --> 01:35:10,751
The birth of a new age.
1415
01:35:11,956 --> 01:35:16,928
We mustn't mourn those
who give their lives today.
1416
01:35:17,086 --> 01:35:19,054
We should honor their sacrifice...
1417
01:35:19,214 --> 01:35:21,216
Has she got my number to call me back?
I got a new phone.
1418
01:35:21,382 --> 01:35:24,556
...and their roles in saving
the human race.
1419
01:35:26,971 --> 01:35:30,646
We must put aside doubt and guilt.
1420
01:35:32,060 --> 01:35:35,610
You are the chosen people.
1421
01:35:37,232 --> 01:35:40,702
When folks tell their kids
the story of Noah's Ark...
1422
01:35:40,860 --> 01:35:41,860
is Noah the bad guy?
1423
01:35:41,986 --> 01:35:42,657
No!
1424
01:35:42,820 --> 01:35:44,822
Is God the bad guy?
1425
01:35:44,989 --> 01:35:45,660
No!
1426
01:35:45,823 --> 01:35:48,246
How about the animals
marching two by two?
1427
01:35:48,409 --> 01:35:49,205
No!
1428
01:35:49,369 --> 01:35:50,369
Of course not!
1429
01:35:51,287 --> 01:35:52,630
Yeah, that's it!
1430
01:35:52,789 --> 01:35:56,589
Let's turn those frowns upside down.
1431
01:35:56,751 --> 01:35:58,594
Eat, drink...
1432
01:35:58,753 --> 01:36:00,426
and Party!
1433
01:36:03,466 --> 01:36:06,015
And I will see you all in the new age.
1434
01:36:31,244 --> 01:36:33,372
Rox, it's me.
1435
01:36:33,871 --> 01:36:35,214
How's the view?
1436
01:36:38,042 --> 01:36:40,136
- Hideous
- Mine's pretty sweet.
1437
01:36:40,295 --> 01:36:43,219
- They made you one of these suits yet?
- No, not yet.
1438
01:36:43,381 --> 01:36:45,725
You've got something to
look forward to then.
1439
01:36:45,883 --> 01:36:48,477
We're coming up on Valentine's base.
Gotta go.
1440
01:36:49,929 --> 01:36:51,226
Good luck.
1441
01:36:58,896 --> 01:36:59,897
Looking good, Eggsy.
1442
01:37:02,567 --> 01:37:05,286
Feeling good, Merlin.
1443
01:37:10,575 --> 01:37:12,168
This is November-2-4-7-Charlie-Kilo. ..
1444
01:37:12,327 --> 01:37:14,750
Requesting permission to land.
1445
01:37:17,749 --> 01:37:20,298
Permission is granted.
1446
01:37:23,963 --> 01:37:25,761
Fuck me.
1447
01:37:52,950 --> 01:37:55,419
Eggsy, we're on.
1448
01:38:10,134 --> 01:38:11,135
Chester King.
1449
01:38:12,136 --> 01:38:14,104
Mr. King, welcome.
1450
01:38:14,472 --> 01:38:18,272
I'm sure you've adhered to Valentine's
strict no-weapons policy...
1451
01:38:18,434 --> 01:38:19,777
- but if you don't object...
- Of course.
1452
01:38:19,936 --> 01:38:21,153
Thank you.
1453
01:38:21,646 --> 01:38:23,774
Do you have any luggage?
1454
01:38:24,774 --> 01:38:28,199
Congratulations, Mycroft,
you just graduated from my pilot to my valet.
1455
01:38:28,820 --> 01:38:31,289
- You cheeky...
Understood?
1456
01:38:31,447 --> 01:38:32,699
Good.
1457
01:38:33,991 --> 01:38:35,618
Thank you.
1458
01:39:00,893 --> 01:39:05,524
Eggsy, find a laptop, get me online.
The clock is ticking.
1459
01:39:06,691 --> 01:39:09,410
And remember, try to blend in.
1460
01:39:09,569 --> 01:39:11,537
Would sir care for a drink?
1461
01:39:12,155 --> 01:39:13,372
Martini.
1462
01:39:13,531 --> 01:39:15,704
Gin, not vodka, obviously.
1463
01:39:15,867 --> 01:39:19,588
Stirred for 10 seconds while glancing
at an unopened bottle of vermouth.
1464
01:39:20,204 --> 01:39:21,421
Thank you.
1465
01:39:24,208 --> 01:39:26,006
Merlin, are you clocking this?
1466
01:39:26,210 --> 01:39:28,258
Yes, I am. Stay focused.
1467
01:39:28,880 --> 01:39:31,053
Lancelot, you're doing great.
Not much further to go.
1468
01:39:31,757 --> 01:39:32,883
Yes, Merlin.
1469
01:39:34,385 --> 01:39:36,683
Eggsy, get me online now.
1470
01:39:37,597 --> 01:39:38,598
Yep, I'm on it.
1471
01:39:39,765 --> 01:39:41,893
Lancelot, you're approaching
your altitude limit.
1472
01:39:42,226 --> 01:39:44,024
Those balloons won't last much longer.
1473
01:39:44,896 --> 01:39:46,864
Prepare to engage missile.
1474
01:40:02,246 --> 01:40:03,463
Society's dead.
1475
01:40:03,915 --> 01:40:05,758
Long live society.
1476
01:40:06,751 --> 01:40:08,094
Amen to that.
1477
01:40:09,545 --> 01:40:11,593
- I'm Morten Lindström.
- Chester King.
1478
01:40:11,923 --> 01:40:13,266
How'd you get online? I couldn't.
1479
01:40:13,633 --> 01:40:16,603
It's a closed network, you see.
Pre-authorized connections only.
1480
01:40:20,806 --> 01:40:22,103
I've got a fix on the satellite.
1481
01:40:22,266 --> 01:40:23,426
Do you have the correct time?
1482
01:40:23,559 --> 01:40:24,776
I think I'm still in my last time zone.
1483
01:40:24,936 --> 01:40:26,313
Yeah, yeah. Let's see now.
1484
01:40:40,409 --> 01:40:41,410
Eggsy, I'm in.
1485
01:40:41,577 --> 01:40:42,669
Get your arse back to the plane, now.
1486
01:40:42,828 --> 01:40:44,421
- On my way.
- Lancelot, good luck!
1487
01:40:44,580 --> 01:40:46,753
Firing in 3... 2...
1488
01:40:54,131 --> 01:40:55,132
Nice and slow.
1489
01:40:55,299 --> 01:40:56,471
Fuck are you doing here?
1490
01:40:56,634 --> 01:40:58,978
Well, my family were invited, obviously.
1491
01:40:59,136 --> 01:41:00,763
Now, get the fuck up! Slowly.
1492
01:41:01,973 --> 01:41:03,850
Shit. Lancelot, hurry up and fire!
1493
01:41:04,016 --> 01:41:05,609
That other balloon is gonna blow!
1494
01:41:05,768 --> 01:41:08,817
Yes, Merlin. I've nearly got it.
Give me a second!
1495
01:41:10,690 --> 01:41:13,614
Valentine! I've caught a fucking spy!
1496
01:41:14,277 --> 01:41:15,324
V-Glass, zoom.
1497
01:41:15,486 --> 01:41:17,534
Oh, fuck! It's that young valet.
1498
01:41:21,659 --> 01:41:23,036
Son of a bitch.
1499
01:41:23,619 --> 01:41:24,711
Got it!
1500
01:41:34,839 --> 01:41:36,136
Oh, shit. Sound the alarm!
1501
01:41:38,676 --> 01:41:39,756
I'm not taking any chances.
1502
01:41:39,885 --> 01:41:41,525
Okay, you send out
the two-minute warning.
1503
01:41:41,554 --> 01:41:44,023
I'm starting the override.
All right, let's do this.
1504
01:41:45,349 --> 01:41:46,976
Countdown initiated.
1505
01:41:56,694 --> 01:41:58,367
- You see him?
- Right here.
1506
01:42:07,163 --> 01:42:08,415
Eggsy, take a left.
1507
01:42:09,206 --> 01:42:10,207
Two guards, up ahead.
1508
01:42:22,553 --> 01:42:23,850
Lancelot! Release now!
1509
01:42:34,899 --> 01:42:36,697
Eggsy, straight ahead, then right.
1510
01:42:37,068 --> 01:42:38,069
There's two more.
1511
01:42:41,781 --> 01:42:43,875
All right, everybody on your feet!
1512
01:42:44,033 --> 01:42:45,250
Countdown to V-day!
1513
01:42:45,409 --> 01:42:46,911
Welcome in the new age!
1514
01:42:55,294 --> 01:42:56,386
Flat spin.
1515
01:43:11,560 --> 01:43:14,404
Eggsy, next left,
down the narrow tunnel!
1516
01:43:23,155 --> 01:43:24,156
Here we go!
1517
01:43:24,323 --> 01:43:25,323
10...
1518
01:43:25,950 --> 01:43:27,293
9...
1519
01:43:27,785 --> 01:43:28,785
8...
1520
01:43:29,453 --> 01:43:30,453
7...
1521
01:43:31,372 --> 01:43:32,372
6...
1522
01:43:33,040 --> 01:43:34,132
5...
1523
01:43:34,709 --> 01:43:35,709
4...
1524
01:43:36,961 --> 01:43:37,712
3...
1525
01:43:37,878 --> 01:43:38,878
2...
1526
01:43:39,630 --> 01:43:40,630
1!
1527
01:43:46,554 --> 01:43:48,397
Nice! Well done, both of you.
1528
01:43:49,140 --> 01:43:50,141
It's not working!
1529
01:43:50,307 --> 01:43:52,355
It's supposed to be working!
What the fuck?
1530
01:43:59,150 --> 01:43:59,821
Yes!
1531
01:43:59,984 --> 01:44:01,327
Well done, Rox. Good girl.
1532
01:44:04,697 --> 01:44:07,200
We've lost one of our satellites.
1533
01:44:16,751 --> 01:44:20,506
Oh, no, no.
There's no way I can hack past that.
1534
01:44:26,093 --> 01:44:27,094
What's going on?
1535
01:44:28,262 --> 01:44:29,354
Is there a problem?
1536
01:44:30,514 --> 01:44:31,874
Come on. There's no need for guns.
1537
01:44:32,016 --> 01:44:33,518
I'm just a pilot.
1538
01:44:36,520 --> 01:44:37,567
Fuck. Merlin!
1539
01:44:40,357 --> 01:44:41,950
Get in here!
1540
01:44:46,197 --> 01:44:47,369
Come on!
1541
01:44:50,910 --> 01:44:52,253
Let's get the fuck out of here!
1542
01:44:52,411 --> 01:44:53,412
We can't.
1543
01:44:53,579 --> 01:44:55,059
I can't get into Valentine's machine.
1544
01:44:55,206 --> 01:44:56,799
He's got biometric security.
1545
01:44:58,292 --> 01:45:01,592
You're gonna have to get in there and make
sure his hand never touches that desk.
1546
01:45:01,754 --> 01:45:03,301
Are you taking the fucking piss?
1547
01:45:03,464 --> 01:45:04,716
I'm afraid not.
1548
01:45:07,885 --> 01:45:08,886
Let's have that then.
1549
01:45:10,554 --> 01:45:11,897
This is mine.
1550
01:45:12,389 --> 01:45:14,312
I'll show you yours.
1551
01:45:31,659 --> 01:45:32,659
Good choice.
1552
01:45:35,287 --> 01:45:36,887
How long to re-link the satellite chain?
1553
01:45:36,997 --> 01:45:38,249
It'll take an hour, maybe two.
1554
01:45:38,415 --> 01:45:40,509
Bullshit! Just bring these two
closer together.
1555
01:45:40,668 --> 01:45:42,011
But that's not yours.
1556
01:45:47,675 --> 01:45:49,427
V-Glass, call E-man.
1557
01:45:50,261 --> 01:45:51,604
E, it's V.
1558
01:45:51,762 --> 01:45:53,764
Listen, man,
I got a little hiccup on this end.
1559
01:45:53,931 --> 01:45:54,932
I need to piggyback.
1560
01:45:55,099 --> 01:45:59,104
One of my satellites just went down,
but it's right next to one of yours.
1561
01:45:59,645 --> 01:46:01,113
You read my mind.
1562
01:46:01,772 --> 01:46:03,365
How long before you make that happen?
1563
01:46:06,443 --> 01:46:07,490
Go.
1564
01:46:11,657 --> 01:46:13,625
All right, we should be
coming back online.
1565
01:46:16,537 --> 01:46:17,537
10 percent.
1566
01:46:20,624 --> 01:46:21,375
Shit!
1567
01:46:21,542 --> 01:46:23,340
Eggsy, Valentine's using
someone else's satellite.
1568
01:46:23,502 --> 01:46:25,470
He's going to reconnect the chain.
1569
01:46:25,629 --> 01:46:27,149
It's going to take him no time at all.
1570
01:46:28,048 --> 01:46:29,140
It's at 20 percent.
1571
01:46:47,067 --> 01:46:50,321
Eggsy, it seems Valentine's got a present for you.
Get a move on!
1572
01:47:23,854 --> 01:47:25,231
Is that Kingsman kid dead yet?
1573
01:47:25,439 --> 01:47:27,066
Not yet, but he will be soon.
1574
01:47:27,232 --> 01:47:28,950
Good.
1575
01:47:41,872 --> 01:47:42,873
Merlin, I'm fucked.
1576
01:47:56,095 --> 01:47:57,096
As am I.
1577
01:47:57,262 --> 01:47:59,606
They're coming at me from both sides.
I'm out of options.
1578
01:48:00,057 --> 01:48:02,901
Rox, I need a favor.
1579
01:48:03,060 --> 01:48:04,107
Call my mum.
1580
01:48:04,269 --> 01:48:05,869
Tell her to lock herself away from Dean.
1581
01:48:06,605 --> 01:48:07,605
And the baby...
1582
01:48:09,108 --> 01:48:10,109
and tell her I love her.
1583
01:48:19,076 --> 01:48:20,328
For fuck's sake.
1584
01:48:24,665 --> 01:48:27,839
Merlin, remember those implants
you said were of no use to us?
1585
01:48:29,628 --> 01:48:30,908
Any chance you can turn them on?
1586
01:48:34,508 --> 01:48:35,304
All right.
1587
01:48:35,467 --> 01:48:37,936
My turn to play, Valentine.
1588
01:48:46,437 --> 01:48:47,609
Oh, no!
1589
01:48:47,771 --> 01:48:50,194
What the fuck is he doing?
I can't stop this.
1590
01:49:03,620 --> 01:49:04,667
Yes, please.
1591
01:49:08,333 --> 01:49:09,505
No!
1592
01:50:06,266 --> 01:50:08,360
Oh, my God!
1593
01:50:08,519 --> 01:50:10,521
That is fucking spectacular!
1594
01:50:10,687 --> 01:50:13,440
Merlin, you're a fucking genius!
1595
01:50:13,607 --> 01:50:16,781
What the fuck is happening out there?
1596
01:50:21,073 --> 01:50:22,370
Aren't you that princess
who went missing?
1597
01:50:22,533 --> 01:50:23,580
Can you get me out?
1598
01:50:24,201 --> 01:50:26,124
If I do, will you give me a kiss?
1599
01:50:26,286 --> 01:50:27,806
I've always wanted to kiss a princess.
1600
01:50:27,871 --> 01:50:30,431
If you get me out right now,
I'll give you more than just a kiss.
1601
01:50:32,126 --> 01:50:33,378
You motherfucker.
1602
01:50:33,544 --> 01:50:35,387
Did you really think
I was stupid enough...
1603
01:50:35,546 --> 01:50:37,719
to implant one of those
things in my own head?
1604
01:50:38,173 --> 01:50:39,720
What are you, fucking crazy?
1605
01:50:40,676 --> 01:50:42,974
All those innocent people killed
and for what?
1606
01:50:43,846 --> 01:50:46,690
You didn't stop shit!
1607
01:50:48,058 --> 01:50:50,060
Fine, I've locked the door.
What do you want me to do now?
1608
01:50:50,227 --> 01:50:53,071
As I said, put your daughter
in the bathroom and throw away the key.
1609
01:50:53,856 --> 01:50:56,234
It's still happening!
1610
01:50:56,400 --> 01:50:57,572
You're fucking insane!
1611
01:50:57,734 --> 01:50:58,860
Just do it.
1612
01:51:26,180 --> 01:51:27,523
Eggsy, the signal's started!
1613
01:51:27,681 --> 01:51:30,855
Get Valentine's hand off
that bloody desk now!
1614
01:51:31,018 --> 01:51:32,018
Sorry, love.
1615
01:51:32,352 --> 01:51:33,444
Got to save the world.
1616
01:51:33,604 --> 01:51:35,197
If you save the world...
1617
01:51:35,355 --> 01:51:37,028
we can do it in the asshole.
1618
01:51:38,275 --> 01:51:40,198
I'll be right back.
1619
01:51:41,612 --> 01:51:42,612
Good luck!
1620
01:51:49,369 --> 01:51:50,369
London.
1621
01:52:18,815 --> 01:52:19,815
Rio.
1622
01:52:35,832 --> 01:52:36,832
Get down!
1623
01:52:38,835 --> 01:52:39,835
You did it!
1624
01:52:49,263 --> 01:52:51,186
The glass is not gonna hold long.
1625
01:52:52,849 --> 01:52:54,476
You stay here.
1626
01:52:56,687 --> 01:52:57,859
Merlin, quickly, how do I get up there?
1627
01:52:58,188 --> 01:53:00,111
- Keep shooting, I'll find a route.
- Understood.
1628
01:53:16,665 --> 01:53:17,757
Holy fuck!
1629
01:53:36,268 --> 01:53:37,565
We're back up.
1630
01:53:38,437 --> 01:53:39,734
We're back up!
1631
01:53:46,737 --> 01:53:48,455
This is great!
1632
01:53:56,580 --> 01:53:57,580
Eggsy!
1633
01:53:57,581 --> 01:53:59,128
Fucking get on with it!
1634
01:53:59,291 --> 01:54:00,508
Kick his ass, Gazy!
1635
01:54:07,132 --> 01:54:09,931
Seoul, Caracas, Mumbai!
1636
01:54:18,310 --> 01:54:20,779
Kill that motherfucker!
He killed all our friends!
1637
01:54:38,163 --> 01:54:40,165
Eggsy, the world is going to shit!
1638
01:54:49,549 --> 01:54:51,643
- Is he dead yet?
- Not yet!
1639
01:54:51,802 --> 01:54:53,896
Stop playing with your food!
1640
01:54:54,054 --> 01:54:55,055
Kill him!
1641
01:56:13,175 --> 01:56:14,552
Gazelle!
1642
01:56:16,386 --> 01:56:17,558
Gazelle!
1643
01:56:27,189 --> 01:56:28,907
Come on! Come on!
1644
01:56:31,902 --> 01:56:32,902
Kill him!
1645
01:56:50,212 --> 01:56:51,212
Hey!
1646
01:57:15,946 --> 01:57:17,448
Well done, son!
1647
01:57:18,782 --> 01:57:19,782
Yes!
1648
01:57:19,908 --> 01:57:21,080
Yes, Eggsy!
1649
01:57:21,243 --> 01:57:22,790
Well done, Eggsy!
1650
01:57:23,286 --> 01:57:24,458
And you, Lancelot.
1651
01:57:27,207 --> 01:57:29,801
I'm so sorry.
Mummy would never hurt you.
1652
01:57:30,418 --> 01:57:33,467
Mummy would never hurt you.
I'm so sorry.
1653
01:57:35,966 --> 01:57:36,967
Are you okay?
1654
01:57:40,762 --> 01:57:42,639
Harry would be proud of you, Eggsy.
1655
01:57:43,974 --> 01:57:45,066
He was right.
1656
01:58:00,490 --> 01:58:01,787
What's up, man?
1657
01:58:02,158 --> 01:58:05,503
Is this the part where you say
some really bad pun?
1658
01:58:06,997 --> 01:58:08,999
Well, it's like you said to Harry.
1659
01:58:12,168 --> 01:58:14,512
This ain't that kind of movie, bruv.
1660
01:58:16,006 --> 01:58:17,428
Perfect.
1661
01:58:38,320 --> 01:58:39,492
Eggsy, where are you going?
1662
01:58:39,654 --> 01:58:41,894
There's no need for champagne.
We got loads in the plane.
1663
01:58:49,039 --> 01:58:50,131
Did you save the world?
1664
01:58:50,707 --> 01:58:52,175
Yes, I did.
1665
01:58:53,501 --> 01:58:56,300
So, you gonna come in?
1666
01:58:57,047 --> 01:58:58,549
Yes, I am.
1667
01:59:04,012 --> 01:59:05,889
Merlin, the cell's locked.
How do I get in?
1668
01:59:08,183 --> 01:59:09,730
26-25.
1669
01:59:14,064 --> 01:59:16,658
Merlin, you're the guvnor.
1670
01:59:18,860 --> 01:59:21,238
You owe me, Eggsy.
1671
01:59:26,868 --> 01:59:27,915
Eggsy?
1672
01:59:33,917 --> 01:59:35,590
Oh, my word.
1673
02:00:22,799 --> 02:00:25,643
Michelle, turn that shit off.
It's doing my nut in.
1674
02:00:26,636 --> 02:00:28,138
I rather like that song.
1675
02:00:28,680 --> 02:00:30,273
Leave it on, eh, Mum?
1676
02:00:34,018 --> 02:00:35,941
Mugsy's back.
1677
02:00:36,062 --> 02:00:38,462
You've finally come
to have that word with me, have you, son?
1678
02:00:38,857 --> 02:00:40,217
Or are you gonna run away again...
1679
02:00:40,316 --> 02:00:41,909
and pretend you're going to court,
dressed like that?
1680
02:00:42,360 --> 02:00:43,737
Oh, you mean this?
1681
02:00:45,280 --> 02:00:46,577
No.
1682
02:00:47,198 --> 02:00:50,498
I know this bloke who's just taken over
a tailor shop on Savile Row.
1683
02:00:51,578 --> 02:00:53,171
He's given me a job, Mum.
1684
02:00:53,872 --> 02:00:55,169
It comes with a lot of perks.
1685
02:00:56,541 --> 02:00:57,884
Including a house.
1686
02:00:59,043 --> 02:01:00,886
Come and live with me there, Mum.
1687
02:01:01,463 --> 02:01:02,555
Come on.
1688
02:01:02,714 --> 02:01:03,714
Sit down, you.
1689
02:01:04,841 --> 02:01:07,081
Only place she'll be visiting
is you in fucking hospital.
1690
02:01:07,177 --> 02:01:08,975
- Do you hear?
- Just leave him alone, Dean!
1691
02:01:09,137 --> 02:01:11,390
Eggsy, just go. Please, just go, babe.
1692
02:01:12,849 --> 02:01:14,146
All right.
1693
02:01:14,309 --> 02:01:15,856
That's it, do as Mummy says.
1694
02:01:16,019 --> 02:01:18,863
Why don't you ask that tailor friend of yours,
and knock up a nice chicken costume.
1695
02:01:19,022 --> 02:01:20,399
It'll suit you, you mug.
1696
02:01:22,650 --> 02:01:25,449
As a good friend once said...
1697
02:01:26,738 --> 02:01:27,864
"Manners...
1698
02:01:29,783 --> 02:01:30,783
"maketh...
1699
02:01:33,328 --> 02:01:34,329
"man."
1700
02:01:35,205 --> 02:01:37,549
- Dean?
- Shut the fuck up.
1701
02:01:37,707 --> 02:01:40,130
Eggsy, I'm gonna shove your manners
up your fucking...
1702
02:01:46,090 --> 02:01:47,090
So...
1703
02:01:47,342 --> 02:01:51,347
are we gonna stand around here all day,
or are we gonna fight?