(soft suspenseful music)
(birds calling)
(soft suspenseful music)
(dramatic music)
(woman groaning)
(woman screaming)
(dramatic music)
(ninja star whooshing)
(suspenseful music)
- Huh?
(kick thudding)
(masked man moaning)
- Ah!
(masked man screaming)
- Hi, guys. I'll be right back.
(ninjas shouting)
- [Group] Huh?
(ninjas howling)
(kicks thudding)
(upbeat music)
(blows thudding)
(upbeat rock music)
(kick thudding)
(masked man whimpering)
(blows thudding)
(ninja screaming)
(synth rock music cont.)
(body whooshing)
(ninjas shouting)
(blows thudding)
(ninja screaming)
- Help!
Over here!
(kicks thudding)
- Be right with you, lady.
(blows thudding)
(body whooshing)
- Oh.
- Hya!
(ninja stars whooshing)
(body whooshing)
(dramatic music)
(ninjas screaming)
(blows thudding)
(metal clanging)
(body thudding)
(kicks thudding)
(bodies thudding)
(kicks thudding rapidly)
(ninjas panicking)
(drum rolling)
- Thanks, Barry. Thanks for helping me out again.
- That's all right, Chuck. That's what sidekicks are for.
But wherever I am,
whatever I'm doing,
all you gotta do is ask, Chuck.
(students laughing)
- Sure thing, Chucky-Poo, old pal.
Any old time, old buddy.
(students laughing)
- Yeah, Barry-Warry, you geek.
(Barry gasping)
What a dork.
(students laughing)
- Why don't you just leave him alone?
- All right, class, settle down. That's enough.
(Barry coughing)
- Let it happen, Barry. Relax.
You don't have to fight it.
(bell ringing)
Test on Friday, Chapter Seven.
(students chattering)
- Hey, Barry. Do you want me to wait after?
I can.
- No, no, not tonight, Lauren. My dad's coming.
- Okay. - Yeah.
- Bye, Lauren.
- Bye.
(students chattering)
- Where were you this time?
- Japan, I think.
- Uh-huh.
You were supposed to be in my history class.
- Yeah, I know. I don't know why it happens.
- Barry, you've got to understand.
There's a time and a place for dreams.
It's not in the classroom.
- Yeah.
Yeah, I know.
- When your dad comes to pick you up,
he and I need to have a talk.
Again.
(books shuffling)
(bell ringing)
(flags flapping)
(students chattering)
(door opening)
(adults chattering)
- I've had talks with him about the daydreams.
He's...he's just never been a physical kid.
And there's nothing wrong with that.
Einstein, uh,
Gandhi, Gershwin, there's nothing wrong with these people.
My son has asthma.
He's made up this world where he can be
the star athlete, the quarterback, he can be, uh ...
- Chuck Norris?
- Yeah.
Yeah.
He says they're sidekicks.
That they...they do things together.
I don't know. (sighs)
- Have you ever tried?
- What?
- Being his sidekick.
- Hm, I don't think I'd have a chance against Chuck.
I put in a lotta hours at work.
Barry's alone too much with his videos, his karate games.
- We all put in extra hours, Mr. Gabrewski.
That's not what I asked you.
- Am I close with my son?
Yeah.
We went through some hard times and...
that should have brought us closer, but ...
- You have to help him change his priorities.
Maybe yours, too.
- Barry. Barry, come on, get a grip.
- What? - What's the matter with you?
- Oh. Oh, nothing.
- Space case. Come on, let's go.
It's late, let's go. Come on. - Right.
- Bye, Barry. See you tomorrow.
- Yes, thank you, Miss Chan. - Thanks for your time.
- Did you forget something?
- Hm?
Oh. (laughs) Yeah. Thanks.
Let's go.
See this Master Stone and sign you up for karate.
What?
- Nothing, nothing.
(Kelly shouting)
(kicks thudding)
(Kelly shouting)
(kicks thudding)
- (shouts) Snap at the top, come on, come on! Two!
Crack it! Three!
- I'm just gonna tell him you're here.
- [Kelly] One!
- [Students] Two!
(Kelly and students shouting)
- Excuse me, pardon me.
Excuse me.
- One!
Snap at the top! Snap it!
Hey! You!
- Me?
- Yeah! You.
We don't wear shoes on the mat here, Mister!
- Sorry.
Double knots.
Socks, too?
(students laughing)
- Hey, hey, hey! Don't touch that.
So, you wanna learn karate, huh?
- [Barry] Yeah.
- Yeah? Yeah?
You mean, "Yes, sir." Don't you, sonny?
- Oh, yeah. I mean, uh, yes, sir.
- Now, your father here tells me all you think about
is this art, this craft that has taken me
years -- years -- to master.
(Barry wheezing)
Could you wheeze a little quieter, kid?
I'm trying to talk here.
- Excuse me, Mr. Stone. My son has a condition --
- You must be pretty good to win all this stuff.
- Well, I don't like to brag or anything.
- Yeah, I bet you're almost as good as Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris?
Chuck Norris?
He doesn't compete anymore, kid.
And one of the reasons, one of the main reasons
he doesn't, is me!
- (chuckles) Okay, let's uh ...
- He doesn't compete because I would kick his ass!
- Let's go, son. Come on.
- Kick his ass.
- Got you the first time.
- Let's go to another place.
I mean, this isn't all there is.
- You know, kid, that's the first smart thing
you've said all day, this isn't all there is.
It's just the best there is.
- You know, karate is a sport of discipline
and restraint and style, one that builds respect.
- You believe in the Easter Bunny, too, kid?
Chuck Norris.
(dramatic music)
(wire snapping)
(weapon banging)
(soft dramatic music)
- Bring the gunpowder, ha ha ha!
Well, now I teach you lesson.
- Help!
(Kelly grumbling)
Help!
(Kelly laughing)
(soft dramatic music)
(fuse hissing)
Oh, oh.
(Kelly laughing)
Oh.
Ah!
Help!
(soft dramatic music)
(Kelly laughing)
(machine gun fire booming)
(soft dramatic music)
(gunfire booming)
(barrels crashing)
(barrel exploding)
(soldiers shouting)
(soldiers groaning)
(gunfire booming)
- Uh-oh!
(man yelling)
(gunfire booming)
(laughing)
(gunfire booming)
(TV clicking)
- [Jerry] Time for bed.
- Dad.
- You look like you were already asleep.
Were you watching that thing?
- Yeah.
Yeah, I was.
(sighs) Kind of.
Uh, Dad?
- What?
- Did you ever become involved with something?
- It's late. You gotta get your eight hours.
What?
- Nothing.
- What?
- Forget it.
- What?
(door slamming)
(Jerry sighing)
- Miss Chan?
Miss Chan! Well, well, long time no see.
What's El Rusho Supremo?
You know, the last time we spoke,
your uncle was coming to town.
Did he ever get here?
- Yes, today. Please, Eugene, I'm late.
- Well, does he need a job?
If I may say so, I'm not without influence in this town.
- I'm his sponsor, Mr. Mapes. He has a job.
He's going to be working in my family's restaurant.
- Oh, but that's so stereotypical.
I mean, it's like working at a laundry.
- Uh-huh. Believe it or not, we've done that, too.
Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm late for my date.
- Ooh, a date. Ooh, my jealousy rears its ugly, green head.
Who's the lucky fellow?
- An appointment date, Eugene. One of my students.
- Trouble with one of the urchins?
Perhaps I can be of assistance.
- Barry Gabrewski.
- Oh, but he's...uh ...
- He's what?
- Well, he...he's...
slow and uh,
impaired.
Hopeless, hopeless. The kid is hopeless.
- He's a dreamer, Mr. Mapes,
and historically, dreamers have a pretty good track record.
(helicopter whirring)
(soft suspenseful music)
(whirring cont.)
(soft suspenseful music)
(explosions booming)
(gunfire booming)
(helicopter whirring)
(dramatic music)
(wall cracking)
(sword whooshing)
(Berry gasping)
- Barry! Barry!
And what, may I ask, was all that about?
- Oh, I...I...I was working out a charley horse.
Yeah, I was, uh, just working it out.
- Uh-huh. We'll talk about it later.
Now, there's someone I want you and your dad to meet.
If he likes you, maybe he’ll be the one
to teach you martial arts.
- (scoffs) Nobody likes me. Why would he?
- Well, I don't know.
Maybe because he's a little bit like you.
- May I help you?
- You could help everybody in this place.
Tell that chink to douse that cigar!
This is a public area.
He's not supposed to be smoking that in here.
- Yes, of course, you're right.
Since we're all so similar, though, would you mind
telling me which particular chink you're referring to?
- The geezer in front of you, Charlie.
- Excuse me. The sign says no --
(speaking Chinese language)
- Come on, come on.
(speaking Chinese language)
(Lee inhaling)
(Lee exhaling)
- Where, uh...where is it?
- By the way, my name is not Charlie.
- Oh?
Hm. (sniffs)
Smoke.
Smoking.
I'm smoking.
I'm smoking!
I'm smoking! Get this thing off me! (coughs)
Ow!
No, no! Wait, wait!
My favorite jacket! What are you doing!
- What's this?
- That's how we teach children to use chopsticks.
- Oh. Okay.
I get the point.
You see, if they had points on them,
you could just stab it.
(Noreen chuckling)
It's not happening. I wanted to impress your uncle.
- Did you notice my uncle stopped using his
halfway through the meal?
- He did?
(Noreen laughing)
- He really likes you.
He's very impressed with your work with computers.
- Oh.
- Are you almost finished with your program?
- How did you know?
- Your son.
- Oh.
- He's told me a lot about you.
- He hasn't told me much about you.
What about you?
- Well, my father built this restaurant.
He came here first.
Eight years later, he sent for my mother.
- Mm. So you grew up around here then?
- Yes.
They worked here together.
Then my father died.
My mother ran the place herself for a while.
But then, two years ago,
he sent for her again.
Now, it's all I have left of them.
- And your uncle.
- Dear Uncle.
A poet and a charmer. Teacher and philosopher.
- Ugh.
- That is the ninth time.
- Yeah, I'm sorry. I wasn't ready.
- That is the entire point of this exercise.
You must always be ready.
And you, you want to be martial artist?
And what would be your fighting name?
Hmm. Barry...
The Leopard?
No, no, no, not quite right.
Uh...Barry the Tiger, who fights with courage
and relies on instinct!
No. That won't do.
(Lee mumbling)
Hm.
I have it. I've got it!
- What? What is it?
- Mr. Dumpling!
Mr. Dumpling, who fights in a most deceptive manner,
by smashing the fists of his opponent
with his own face!
- Uh, Mr. Lee?
- Mr. Dumpling never attacks,
because he does not survive to attack.
Because he is never ready.
- Okay, I get the point, Mr. Lee.
- All right, then, it's very simple.
I will help you learn what you want to know.
But once you stop wanting to learn, I will stop teaching.
- Well, Mr. Lee, I don't wanna stop learning.
- Oh, never interrupt your teacher.
This, for example, is a thief.
You cannot compromise with a thief,
unless you wish to give something of yourself away.
Does that appear confusing?
- Yes.
- Good, life is very confusing.
And that is your first lesson.
- I married the first girl I took out.
- How long has she been gone?
- She passed away almost 10 years ago.
You sure Barry's gonna be okay with your uncle?
- Oh, my uncle will behave himself.
If he doesn't, I'll break his arm.
(laughs) More tea?
- Yeah.
- How far is your school from your house?
- About five, 10 minutes.
- Not how long, how far?
- Oh, two miles.
- And how do you get there?
- My dad, he drops me off in the morning,
picks me up in the afternoon.
Or I get a ride.
- From now on, you will walk to school.
That is, until next week. Then you will run.
We will see if that is a thief or a crutch.
- Yes?
- There's a problem out here.
- Where's that little gal, Grub?
Grub, that is the name, ain't it?
(biker laughing)
- Gabrew -- Gabrewski.
(bikers laughing)
- Gabrewski. (laughs)
Gabrewski.
(bottle smashing)
- It's a funny name.
- It is a funny name.
(bikers laughing)
Grub's better, ain't it, boys?
By God!
- [Group] Grub, Grub, Grub, Grub.
(bikers laughing)
- What's your -- what's your name?
- Hank.
It's short for Henry.
- Oh, yeah. I had an uncle named Henry one time.
- Yeah?
I don't think I knew him.
- Let me deal with them.
- What are you doing?
- Preparing.
- We're gonna do something really special for you.
We're gonna remodel this place.
- [Biker] Yeah, Boss.
- We're gonna take that wall there and put it over there!
- [Biker] Yeah!
(bikers laughing)
This wall, put it back over here!
(bikers laughing)
And then the kitchen,
we're gonna bring it all the way in the front.
First thing we're gonna do
is we're gonna start right here.
(bottle smashing)
(bikers laughing)
- [Biker] Look at this guy!
(Lee speaking Chinese language)
- That boy's drunk! That's a drunken Chinaman!
(Lee speaking Chinese language)
(tray crashing)
- Oh, you stupid idiot! You stepped on my foot!
(items crashing)
(trays crashing)
(Hank shrieking)
(bikers shouting and laughing)
- Hot, hot, hot!
- Water!
- What are you, crazy?
(Hank shrieking)
(plates crashing)
- You all right?
- Uh-huh.
(chop thudding)
(face thudding)
(plates crashing)
- Ow! You're on my hand!
Get off my hand!
- Oh, oh.
(kick thudding)
(Hank groaning)
(fists thudding)
(items banging)
(slow music)
(face thudding)
(engines revving)
- These gentlemen only saw what I appeared to be.
Lesson Number Two: believe what is,
not what you think.
(traffic passing)
Remember, tomorrow you walk to school, huh?
(birds chirping)
(Barry exhaling)
- [Barry V.O.] The kid moved down the street.
Alert, constant vigilance.
Eternal suspicion.
Like Chuck in the jungle.
Beware, the enemy.
(soldiers shouting)
(guns firing)
(suspenseful music)
(soldiers shouting)
(dog barking)
(gun firing)
(Barry breathing hard)
The kid evaded capture, or worse this time,
but the bad guys are still out there.
Somewhere.
(leaves rustling)
(birds chirping)
(dog barking in distance)
(car doors slamming)
- [Boy] Come on, you'll be late for school.
- Barry?
Are you okay?
- Yeah. Hi, Lauren.
- What's wrong? Where's your dad?
- Oh, I thought I'd (coughs) walk today.
- Oh. It is good exercise.
- Yeah.
- Well, you'd better hurry,
because class starts in 10 minutes.
- Okay.
(birds chirping)
(window whirring)
- Barry, are you sure you don't want a ride?
- Oh, no, that's okay.
I wanna get my heart rate up a little higher.
- Okay, bye.
Let's go, Mom.
(engine revving)
- Now, we've read several of the Bard's important plays,
and these wondrous words should stay with you
from now through the end of your day.
- Oh, man.
- Mr. Cellini.
- Yeah?
- "Yes" is the proper response, Mr. Cellini.
- Okay.
(students chuckling)
- Perhaps, Mr. Cellini,
we should test your retention skills.
From whence does this quote come?
"To thine own self be true."
- Polonius, Mr. Mapes. From Hamlet.
- That is correct, Lauren.
Let's try again, Mr. Cellini, shall we?
"Alas, poor Yorick. I knew him."
Well?
- Uh, it's from the Bible, isn't it?
(students laughing)
- A book with which I'm sure you're thoroughly familiar.
(students laughing)
No, Mr. Cellini, it's not the Bible.
(teacher sighing)
(clicks tongue) Yes, Mr. Gabrewski, what is it?
- Yeah, it's Hamlet.
- Be still my heart.
Yes, that's correct.
Careful, Mr. Cellini, your competition
for class dumbbell is rapidly diminishing.
(students laughing)
Now.
(students chattering)
(Barry thudding)
(dramatic music)
- You gotta watch where you're going, creep.
Accidents happen when you don't pay attention.
- Let me up.
- But if I let you up, then you might hurt me.
(boys laughing)
And I don't want you to hurt me.
It's lucky for you Master Stone didn't take you on.
Because I'm in that class
and I'd be doing this to you every day.
(boys laughing)
Aw, look at this.
So where's your friend Chucky now, retard?
Oh, by the way, Lauren doesn't like you. She pities you.
(dramatic music)
- [Boy] Come on, let's go.
(soft music)
- Breathe in.
Breathe out.
(Barry coughing)
(Barry inhaling)
Okay, you're doing good.
All right, let's start again. All right, relax.
Breathe out, bend your knees. Breathe in.
(Horn shouting)
- [Horn] 34, hut!
35, hut! 36!
Hut, 37! Hut, 38!
Hut, 39, hut!
40, hut!
Had enough?
41, hut. 42, hut!
(electricity cracking)
(suspenseful music)
(chain creaking)
(honky tonk piano music)
(suspenseful music)
(spurs jingling)
(suspenseful music)
(honky tonk music cont.)
(suspenseful music)
- That's Lone Wolf.
- And Little Wolf, too.
(soft suspenseful music)
(spurs jingling)
(suspenseful music)
(gun clicking)
(gun firing)
(women shrieking)
(gun whooshing)
- Well, well, well, if it isn't the two big, bad wolves.
- What'll you have?
- Milk.
(patrons laughing)
- Hey, how about some cookies?
(patrons laughing)
- Bartender, make mine milk, too.
- Sure, Ranger.
(milk pouring)
- Hey, you. Give me a drink (laughs).
Hey, better yet, give me a kiss. (laughs)
- [Noreen] Let go of me.
(man laughing)
Let go of me!
- Leave her alone.
- [Man] All right, let's do it.
(suspenseful music)
- Ah.
(glasses thunking)
(suspenseful music)
- I can take you, Little Wolf.
Just you...
and me.
- If you're wrong, you're dead wrong.
(suspenseful music)
(gun whooshing)
(fist thudding)
- Ah, ooh.
(gun whooshing)
- That was for nothing.
(gun whooshing)
(fist thudding)
(gun whooshing)
That was for something.
(man groaning)
(suspenseful music)
(fist thudding)
(Barry clicking tongue)
- Watch it, Barry.
(man screaming)
- Wake up!
This is gym class, sonny boy, not nap time.
How dare you fall asleep in my class?
Get up, boy!
(Barry groaning)
- [Barry] Sorry, Mr. Horn.
- Oh-ho, I bet you are. But not as sorry as you're gonna be.
I've been thinking, Son.
Been a while since your last physical evaluation.
There you are, lady.
(students laughing)
Start climbing.
- Let's go, Barry-Warry.
Get up that rope.
- Come on, Gabrewski, what are you?
A man or Marvin Milquetoast?
(students laughing)
(Barry groaning)
(Barry breathing hard)
Keep going, lady. Don't even think about quitting.
(students laughing)
- You can do it, Barry!
(students laughing)
- Barry. Hey, Barry!
I'll race you to the top.
- I can't.
- Sure you can.
Just wrap your leg around the rope
and hold it with your foot.
-I...I can't.
- Barry, I hate that word.
- Who the hell is he talking to?
Hey, you up there! You nod off again?
(students laughing)
Get going!
- Don't listen to them. Listen to me.
Wrap your leg around the rope.
That's it.
Now, hold it with your foot. - [Barry] Okay.
- Now all the weight's on your legs.
Relax your arms a little. See?
Weight's on your legs. There you go.
All right, now. Pull.
That's it. Use your legs.
That's it.
Good, there you go.
Pull.
Yeah.
(soft uplifting music)
- [Lauren] Come on, Barry, you can do it!
- Pull, Barry.
Yeah, you're doing great, Barry.
It's all yours, Barry.
All the way to the top.
(soft uplifting music cont.)
- Well, I'll be.
(students applauding)
- [Lauren] All right, Barry!
- [Horn] Hit the showers!
- Mr. Horn was sure mean today.
I think you ought a tell your daddy.
- My daddy? No, I don't think he'd be too much help.
- Why not?
My daddy'd rope him, shoot him, stuff him and mount him.
- What?
- At least that's what he always says.
- Well, that's because he's a Texan.
My dad's a computer programmer from Pittsburgh.
Make him mad, he just punches the keyboard harder.
(Lauren chuckling)
- Listen, this is where I get off.
(birds chirping)
- Oh, um...
Lauren, um...
I, uh...
(birds chirping)
I, uh, you know. I really like you.
- I like you too, Barry.
- Okay, great.
Well, if I like you and you like me,
why don't we go out?
- Go out?
- Yeah.
- Barry.
I like you.
But...just not like that.
- What?
- I worry about you. The others are so mean!
It makes me feel so ...
- Sorry for me?
- No.
- Yeah, Cellini was right. You pity me.
- I do not. I don't!
- (wheezes) I get it, okay?
- Barry!
Please!
(soft dramatic music)
(Barry coughing)
(soft dramatic music)
(Barry breathing hard)
- I hate this crap.
(inhaler smashing)
I will beat this thing.
I will beat you!
(Barry breathing hard)
(Barry coughing and crying)
(suspenseful music)
- I'm going to show you how easy it could be.
(Barry groaning)
All you have to do is tell me what I want to know.
(Barry coughing)
- I won't tell you anything.
- Hang on as long as you can, Barry. You can do it.
Just hang on.
(fist thudding)
- Filthy swine.
Come on, Barry-Warry.
Make it easy on yourself.
- (groans) Chuck, Chuck. I can't breathe.
- Don't give me that crap!
You sound like a bagpipe and you'll do anything!
(Barry groaning)
- Hang on, Barry. We'll get outta this.
- Not! I'm going to squeeze his lungs out!
(Barry groaning)
(chains jangling)
- Chuck!
(Horn laughing maniacally)
(Barry groaning)
- Hang on, Barry.
- I can't.
- Hang on, Barry.
Barry.
- Hang on, son.
That's it, Barry. Hang in there, boy.
(siren blaring)
(Barry coughing)
- [PA] Dr. Ingram to the Surgical ICU nurses station.
Dr. Ingram to the Surgical ICU nurses station stat.
- Has he been getting his allergy shots on a regular basis?
- Yes.
- Has he been under extraordinary stress
lately at home or at school?
- I don't think so.
He walked to school feeling fine this morning.
Seemed to be okay.
(sighs) He's gonna be all right?
- He'll be fine.
And it's probably not a bad idea he does these things.
You know, basically, his lungs are okay.
I looked at the X-rays.
There's very little scarring, if any.
- Good.
- Frankly, I'm surprised at this attack.
What with the humidity and all down here --
- Jack. - Noreen.
- Oh, thanks for coming.
- Where is Barry?
- Lee.
- Is he all right?
- Yes.
- Which room is he in?
- 215. - I'm glad you called me.
- The doctor said his X-rays are looking good.
Oh, Noreen, this is Dr. Millard.
Miss Chan is one of Barry's teachers.
- Hi, nice to meet you.
(door opening)
(Barry breathing with difficulty)
(Barry breathing hard)
- Mr. Lee?
- Yes.
I have something for you.
I will take this off.
Only for a few minutes.
This will help you.
(Lee breathing deeply)
(soft music)
(Barry coughing)
- It smells awful.
- Yes, that's how I know when it's ready.
It is an old remedy with some of my secret ingredients.
Breathe in the fumes.
Deeply.
Good.
Now rest.
(soft music)
(Barry sighing)
- It's starting to burn.
What is it?
- You must breathe. The heat will not burn you.
It will help.
Relax.
(soft music)
You were perhaps overzealous. You tried to reach too far.
Too fast.
We will try again, but slower.
But now, I believe you want to learn.
Goodnight, Mr. Dumpling.
(soft music)
(door closing)
(upbeat rock music)
- Let's start with a few simple movements.
Low block.
High block.
Punch.
Kick.
High block.
Punch.
(upbeat rock music cont.)
Inhale four seconds, exhale four seconds.
Inhale four seconds.
Come on, Barry.
(kicks thudding)
Hoo!
(upbeat rock music cont.)
The object is not to hurt somebody else.
It is to stop them from hurting you.
You must respect the wood.
It lives on its own. It has its own spirit.
(upbeat rock music)
(wood snapping)
Barry, Barry!
- Yeah, I know. I'm up there.
(upbeat rock music cont.)
(men chuckling)
(Barry groaning)
(upbeat rock music cont.)
- And five...
Now rest.
Had enough?
- Yeah. - Just one more. One more.
Easy, easy. Good.
Pickup!
(workers chattering)
- How do you feel?
- Oh, I've never felt better.
- Oh, you lie as well as you run.
Drink that.
- Why, what's this?
- Be quiet, disrespectful boy. You dare question me?
- Well, you took me for six bucks on gin rummy.
I'm watching you like a hawk.
- That will help with the breathing. Now drink.
- Oh, golly gee, that's awful.
- Foolish boy! You think magic drink should win taste test?
Then nobody drink Pepsi-Cola.
- Hey, Pepsi has nothing to worry about.
- You go home now.
You give me headache, and besides,
you have no more money to win.
Here, take this four times a day, twice on Sunday.
- Okay.
All right. Goodbye, Miss Chan.
Don't play cards with this guy, okay?
- Oh, I already learned that. Say hi to your dad for me.
- All right.
- Magic potion.
Oh, what's in this?
- Don't worry, it won't kill him.
- Imagine my relief.
(Barry exhaling)
Oh.
(Jerry exhaling)
- What the hell's that smell?
- I don't know.
- Must be a sewage backup around here.
(blinds clicking)
(birds chirping)
Huh? Hm.
Don't be late for school.
(upbeat rock music)
(whistle blowing)
- Hold the line! Gabrewski, what are you doing here?
Get your butt up on there on the benches
with the rest of the babies.
(students laughing)
- No, I'm okay, Mr. Horn. I'm gonna take the class today.
- Like hell you will, boy.
You end up in the hospital again,
my tail will end up in the ringer for sure.
- Yeah, but I -- I--
- Yeah, no buts. Except yours, parked up there.
Now, get moving!
- Yeah, Barry-Warry, before you get hurt.
- Cellini! I don't remember asking for your opinion!
Twenty laps!
All right, now, time to meet my good friend, Mr. Pushup.
(students sighing)
Hit the deck.
(students groaning)
Gabrewski, what are you doing?
I told you to get up there with the rest of the babies.
We haven't got all day. We got work to do.
- And I can do it.
Look, I'll sign a release or something, okay?
- You'll do that, boy.
Okay, everybody, Mr. Pushup.
All right, let us go. Twenty-five to warm you up.
One.
Gabrewski, you drop dead on me and I swear to God,
I'll shoot myself and come on after you.
(Horn yelling)
- Barry, I have something for you.
You will work with these an hour each day.
If you make a mistake, they will sting you.
But I will help you make them sing.
- They look deadly.
- It is true, they are weapons.
But you must realize that the greatest weapon
you will ever possess is self-control.
(upbeat rock music)
(Barry groaning)
(upbeat rock music cont.)
- That's using your head, Barry.
(birds chirping)
- (applauds) It's beautiful.
It's like a ballet.
- Takes a long time to learn. Much discipline.
Come, Barry, time to run.
- Work him hard, Lee.
- Yes, sir.
- See you later.
- Bye-bye.
(door closing)
- I wish I could do what you do, but, uh ...
- Sure you can.
- I couldn't.
- Come on.
- What?
- Come on.
- No, no, no. No, no, no.
What?
- Feet together.
- Come on. I might hurt myself here.
All right.
Mm-hm.
Okay, got that.
Uh-oh.
(Noreen laughing)
I can't.
I can't. You move so graceful.
- It's more important to be graceful...here.
(birds chirping)
(upbeat rock music)
(Lee humming)
- Too bad!
(upbeat rock music)
- [Lee] Heads up. Ten out of 12, not bad.
- Mr. Lee?
- Mm-hm?
- Do you ever, uh, dream?
- Oh, yes.
- Not...not...not, uh,
just at night.
- Oh, you mean dreaming when you're awake?
- I mean, it's kind of like I'm off someplace,
or having an adventure with ...
- With him?
- Yeah.
- Dreams are good.
- Even when you're walking down a hallway
or sitting in a classroom?
I like them and all that, but, I mean,
is it normal for that to happen?
- You must learn to control them.
When you learn to control them,
you will have fewer dreams then.
But they will be richer ones.
- Is that the way it's supposed to be?
- The dream world is where the child lives.
Growing older would not mean growing wiser
if that world did not exist.
- How did you learn so much?
- Television.
(upbeat rock music)
(both groaning)
- Always expect the unexpected.
- Okay.
(upbeat rock music cont.)
(kicks thudding)
- Stop!
You are kicking much harder. Now, I'm ready.
(kicks thudding)
(upbeat rock music cont.)
Breathe in, breathe out.
Enough for now. Enough for now!
Not too bad.
Now ...
- We run. - We run.
- [Cheerleaders] Go, go! G-O!
Go, Redskins, go!
Go, go! G-0!
Go, Redskins, go!
(cheerleaders cheering)
- Hey.
- Hey, it's Barry-Warry.
I can't breathe. (fakes gasping)
(boys laughing)
- Up yours, Cellini.
(blow thudding)
- Barry, Barry, we always seem to meet this way.
By the way, what'd you say to me?
- I said it's not gonna be so easy this time.
(kick thudding)
(boys chattering)
- What do you think, you're bad?
- Just knock it off, Cellini, okay?
- What are you gonna do now?
(body thudding)
(upbeat rock music)
So you wanna learn karate, huh?
You're about to get your first lesson for free.
(kicks thudding)
(Barry groaning)
(boys cheering)
(kick thudding)
- All right, I'm outta here, okay?
- Hey, Barry.
(kick thudding)
(girls cheering)
(upbeat rock music cont.)
(boys cheering)
(blows thudding)
(students cheering)
(kicks thudding)
- What in thunder is going on here?
Cellini, are you nuts? You could kill him.
- Hey, Mr. Horn, he started it.
- If that's true, kid, you get less brains
than a woodpecker on an aluminum telephone pole.
Now, you two break it up and hit the showers.
All right, show's over! Come on, you kids, break it up.
- It's not over by a long shot.
- Barry!
- Yeah?
- Not bad, kid. Not bad at all.
- I can't believe that was you.
- Yeah, well, you're not the only one.
- He's such a creep and a bully.
- Yeah, he's just an all-around kinda guy.
- Barry, what are you doing this weekend?
- Um, I'm going to the zoo.
- Can I come with you?
- Yeah.
Yeah, sure.
I'd like that.
- Great. I'll see you in English, okay?
- Okay.
- [Cheerleaders] Go, Redskins, go!
(cheerleaders cheering)
(dog barking)
(soft music)
(Barry breathing hard)
(soft, moody music)
(siren blaring in distance)
- More crushed razor blades in this bubble gum!
(laughs) More acid rain in these Jawbreakers!
Dynamite in the piñatas! (laughs)
Where's that girl? Bring me that girl.
Ah, yes.
- Yes, Boss.
- What is the problem, hm?
- She won't talk. I thought she was smart.
- Well, you know what to do, so do it.
- My pleasure.
- No, no. Help!
(Noreen screaming)
- Let's do it.
(evil cackling in background)
All right, Barry. I'll take the front and you take the back.
You know the cue.
- Same as always. All hell breaks loose.
What about him?
(Horn whimpering)
- Help me. Help me!
- Come on, get going. Let's get going now! (laughs)
(dramatic music)
- Help me!
Help me. Help me.
Help me!
(tires squealing)
(crashing)
- Wasn't that Spike?
- I don't know. - I don't know.
(explosion booming)
(soft music)
- Well, our hero.
Get him!
(explosion booming)
(wood clattering)
(soft music)
Oh, a hero clone. Destroy them both!
(guns firing)
(gun firing)
You missed me.
(guns firing)
Don't kill me now!
Get them, get them, get them!
(guns firing)
Get them, get them, get them!
(guns firing)
(dramatic music)
(guns firing)
You wouldn't dare.
(rocket firing)
(splashing)
(liquid squishing)
(eerie music)
- [Lauren] Help!
- Get me down from here.
Help me! Help.
Spike, Spi -- where is Spike?
He's never around when I need him.
I'll just hang around up here 'til they leave.
(Chuck chuckling)
That's what I'll do. I'll just hang around up here.
Whoa!
(body thudding)
Maybe not.
- Ooh.
(heads butting)
(wood breaking)
- [Lauren] Help!
- Sweetheart. - Barry.
- Hey, Barry. What's going on?
Where's Noreen?
- Hey, this is my dream.
- My hero.
- Oh.
(moody music)
(Barry grunting)
- Hi.
- Here, tough guy. You want a real shot at me?
Well, there's your chance.
If you're not too chicken.
- Karate tournament?
- That's right. It's a fair contest.
- Fair? That'll be the day.
- Lauren, I used to think you were smart.
I mean, I don't know why you hang around this bozo
when you could have someone like me.
- Don't make me ill.
- All right, class, the day we've all been
waiting for is finally here.
The English romantic poets.
(students groaning)
- We're going to start by covering Percy Bysshe Shelley.
- We have decided we will join you in this team competition.
- I should feel happy.
But I'm not.
- Natural reaction.
Natural doubt.
- I'm not ready.
- True.
Look at the tortoise, Barry.
The tortoise is very clumsy and not musical at all,
but it has been said, and I believe it,
when all things are right, when a dream becomes true,
when the impossible is accomplished and lies behind you,
on that day,
the tortoise will dance.
(Barry chuckling)
- Tortoises can't dance.
- Ah, you only think they can't.
If you believe they can, they will.
- Barry, come take a look at this!
- I rest my case.
(upbeat rock music)
(kicks thudding)
- Wait for me.
- Whoo-hoo!
(upbeat rock music cont.)
(blocks breaking)
(Barry screaming)
- Oh, my goodness, you're doubling your bet?
What am I going to do if I lose?
I tell you what I'm gonna do.
I'm gonna treat you to a dinner at my restaurant.
Frying...Frying Dragon.
This one? Ooh, thank you very much.
Now it's your turn.
- Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to the Texas Open Team Karate Championship.
But before this nationally sanctioned meet,
you will enjoy demonstrations by some
of the most renowned martial artists in the country.
There's gonna be plenty of action here today.
- All righty.
Great.
- [Announcer] Will all competitors please
make sure you register?
- There's no sense in all of us standing here.
Why don't you go ahead and watch some of the demonstrations?
- Okay, great. Thanks.
- You're all set. Thank you.
Morning. Application, please.
Great.
- [Announcer] Next up, weapons form demonstration.
- And who's your fourth?
- Oh, we don't have one.
We wanted to compete as a three-person team.
- Uh, no, it's a team competition
and you have to have a complete team,
which is four people.
So...you just have to find another team member.
Thank you so much. Step aside.
Application, please. Morning.
Thank you very much.
- [Announcer] This competition has drawn
the karate world's best and brightest
for what should be an afternoon of unexcelled excitement.
Here's Andrew Ashby, demonstrating sword technique.
Top-flight competitors all, including last year's
champion team, Stone Dojo, and second place
contender, the Kick Connection.
(upbeat rock music)
- Oh, Barry's gonna be so disappointed.
- There's Chuck Norris.
(crowd cheering)
- I have an idea for fourth.
Come on.
(crowd cheering)
- He grabbed him by the leg and ripped
his pants completely off.
(group laughing)
- Well, well, well, what a surprise. Chuck Norris.
Too bad you're not still fighting.
I'd love to kick your ass.
- Only in your dreams, Stone.
- Yeah, I'd be your worst nightmare, Chuck.
- That guy hasn't changed, has he?
- Are you crazy, Uncle?
He's a star. He's not gonna join our team.
- He's the boy's hero. Ask him.
Excuse me, please, judge coming through.
(men chattering)
Ask him.
Ask well.
(crowd cheering)
- I think the internationals was one of
the toughest tournament we fought in.
- That was the most black belts I've ever seen.
- Yeah, we had a great fight the other night.
- Excuse me.
Hi.
Could I talk to you for a minute please, Mr. Norris?
- Yeah, sure. Just a second, guys.
Can I help you?
- I'm Noreen Chen.
- Hi, Noreen.
(upbeat rock music)
(crowd applauding)
(crowd cheering)
(Chuck applauding)
- Hi, I'm Chuck Norris.
- Yeah.
- And you're, uh...?
- Oh, me? I'm Barry.
- Hi, Barry, nice to meet you.
You competing?
- Yeah.
- You nervous?
- Oh, gosh, yes. I've never been so nervous in my life.
- Being nervous is good. It loosens you up.
Tell you what.
Why don't you and I go win this thing, huh?
- What do you mean?
- I mean, you needed a fourth team member
and now you've got one.
Besides, there's a fighter here
who needs a lesson in humility.
- [Announcer] We'll be back with the first
of the competitions, the ladies' kata,
after a brief intermission.
- Is this a little joke here?
- What?
- Oh, come on. Chuck Norris? The Chuck Norris?
- You got a problem with that, son?
- No.
And the name of your team?
- [Noreen] Happy?
- I still can't believe it. Somebody pinch me.
Ow. Mr. Lee, that's only an expression.
- Then why say it? I go home now.
- What do you mean?
- I got a restaurant to run. I'll be back in time.
- Be back by two o'clock.
- [Announcer] Will all competitors for the women's kata
please report to the judges' stand?
(crowd applauding)
(upbeat rock music)
- Ya!
Ya!
(woman grunting)
- Ya!
Ya!
(crowd cheering)
- [Announcer] Noreen Chan, representing
the Frying Dragon Dojo.
(soft moody music)
(crowd applauding)
(crowd cheering and applauding)
- Woo hoo hoo, yeah!
(crowd cheering and applauding)
That was beautiful, beautiful. Woo hoo!
- Have you seen Uncle?
- No.
- [Announcer] Malia Bernow, representing the Stone Dojo!
(upbeat rock music)
(crowd applauding and cheering)
First place, Malia Bernow.
(crowd cheering and applauding)
The Stone Dojo off to an early lead
going into the breaking competition.
And a strong second place showing from Noreen Chan.
- Where is he?
It's 2:30.
- I called the restaurant, he wasn't there.
- [Announcer] Randy Cellini, last year's winner,
looking to better his record with an eight brick break.
(Randy groaning)
(bricks cracking)
Yeah! Yeah!
- Yeah!
- Randy Cellini, ladies and gentlemen, from the Stone Dojo.
We have one more contestant left.
Lee Chan, from the Flying -- no, Frying Dragon.
- Would Mr. Lee Chan enter the ring, please? Mr. Lee Chan?
- [Lee] Excuse me, please, coming through. Excuse me.
- He's here. All right.
- Hey, check this out.
Here's a guy gonna break bricks wearing an apron.
- Hey, you're not wearing a karate gi.
- Don't need karate gi for brick breaking.
(Lee exhaling)
(crowd murmuring)
- Is it red or white wine with bricks?
Ladies and gentlemen, he's asking for another brick!
(crowd murmuring)
(Lee screaming)
(bricks cracking)
- Wow, he broke them! He broke them!
- Hey, we're gonna be eating humble brick here, babe.
(crowd cheering)
That brings the Frying Dragon within two points
of the champion Stone Dojo.
(upbeat rock music)
(competitor grunting)
- Ya!
- [Announcer] Manuel Cerano, ladies and gentlemen,
the Stone Dojo's master swordsman.
And it's championship technique at its best.
(crowd cheering)
- Yeah! Yeah!
(upbeat rock music)
(dramatic music)
(legs whooshing)
(dramatic music cont.)
(weapons whooshing)
(crowd cheering)
- [Announcer] Barry Gabrewski!
What a show! What a show!
Entering the freestyle fighting,
the Dragons are second place
against the undefeated dojo master, Kelly Stone.
(crowd applauding)
(arms whooshing)
(fighters grunting)
- Chuck?
Chuck, this is my dad.
- Hi, how are you?
- Mr. Norris. I feel like I've known you a long time.
- Well, it's Chuck, and it's nice meeting you.
- I wanna let you know how much
I appreciate you helping my boy, joining the team.
(fighters shouting)
(referee shouting)
- Hi. I gotta get ready.
- Yeah. Nice meeting you.
- Nice meeting you, too.
(upbeat rock music)
(fighter groaning)
- One!
(kick thudding)
(kicks thudding)
(fighter groaning)
(upbeat rock music)
(blows thudding)
- Yeah!
(upbeat rock music)
(blows thudding)
- Pfff.
(fighter groaning)
(crowd applauding)
- [Announcer] Chuck Norris will meet Kelly Stone
in the final match!
- Yeah! Come on, come on!
You know, Norris, I've always wanted to see
how good you really are.
- You're only gonna see it once, Stone.
- Yeah. (laughs)
(crowd cheering)
- [Announcer] And here they are!
In the final freestyle pairing,
Chuck Norris for the Frying Dragons
and Kelly Stone representing his dojo.
(crowd cheering)
(punch thudding)
(Kelly shouting)
(crowd booing)
- Yeah!
You talking to me? All of you?
Come on. All right.
All right, Chuck.
(kick thudding)
(Kelly groaning)
Ooh.
(upbeat rock music)
(Kelly groaning)
(punches thudding)
Come on! All right, come on, Norris!
Come on!
(blows thudding)
(Kelly groaning)
(crowd cheering)
You didn't say go, man! You didn't say go, all right.
I wasn't ready. I wasn't ready.
(upbeat rock music)
(punch thudding)
Oh! Oh!
(Kelly screaming)
(crowd cheering)
- Nope, nope.
(arms and legs whooshing)
(Kelly groaning)
- All right. Way to go, Chuck!
- Shut up, twerp.
All right, Norris. Let's really do it now.
I'll go with you, I'll go with you, I'll go with you.
(Kelly groaning)
(dramatic rock music)
(Kelly groaning)
Oh!
(kick thudding)
Whoa, wow, wow.
(face thudding)
- Ooh.
- Oh, that hurt.
(crowd cheering and applauding)
- Well, ladies and gentlemen, it seems we now have a tie.
The Stone Dojo and the Frying Dragon
have both amassed 36 points.
There will be a tiebreaker.
Please stand by for an announcement.
- Frying Dragon calls heads. Heads it is.
The Frying Dragon team chooses the participant.
- It will be Barry.
- Me?
Why me?
- You can do it. You won the weapons.
- They don't have anyone who can touch you.
- You're the one with something to prove.
- You've already proven yourself, son.
Just do what you think is right.
- [Announcer] The tiebreaker will be between
Barry Gabrewski and Randy Cellini.
- And the event will be...
- Breaking. We choose breaking.
(crowd applauding)
- You know how to do this stuff, Barry?
- Yeah. Yeah, kind of.
I've done it once.
- You can do it again.
- [Noreen] We're with you, Barry.
- Barry-Warry, why don't you just quit now
and avoid the embarrassment?
- [Announcer] Breaking first for the Stone team,
Randy Cellini!
(Randy groaning)
(bricks crumbling)
- Yeah! Yeah!
Beat that, puke face!
(crowd cheering and applauding)
You!
Yeah! Yeah!
(crowd applauding)
Yeah!
- You'll be fine.
- [Announcer] And here's Barry Gabrewski.
They're adding a seventh.
He has to break seven for his team to stay in this.
(individuals shouting)
(Barry groaning)
(bricks crumbling)
(crowd cheering and applauding)
- Well done, son!
- Thanks. Boy that stings.
- You're using your hand too much, your arm not enough.
It's like hammer. Head is hand, handle is arm.
- I'm gonna end this right now.
- [Announcer] Mr. Cellini is asking for another brick.
He's going for a record-breaking nine bricks.
- Ready.
(Randy breathing hard)
(Randy exhaling)
(bricks crumbling)
(crowd gasping)
- [Official] No break!
- [Announcer] No break, ladies and gentlemen.
- Hey! That's broke, I can see it!
What the hell you talking about?
Look, when you say you're gonna break something,
you break it!
What the hell is wrong with you?
I told you to break it. You follow through with your fist.
I can break it!
(crowd murmuring)
- [Announcer] Barry Gabrewski has a chance to win it all
if he can break nine bricks.
(dramatic rock music)
- Hey, when you break your hand on those bricks,
Barry-Warry, I'm gonna go get
a great, big, victory kiss from Lauren.
- You're not gonna touch her!
- No anger.
You are here to confront bricks, not that stupid boy.
Now...concentrate.
(dramatic music)
(Barry exhaling)
This will help you.
(flames crackling)
(dramatic rock music)
(flames crackling)
(Barry shouting)
(blocks crumbling)
(triumphant rock music)
- I don't know what to say.
I've always wanted to meet you.
- Well, it's been my pleasure.
- It's, um, been kinda like a dream
coming true.
- Dreams do come true, Barry, if you want them bad enough.
- There he is.
- There's my dad.
Thank you.
(soft music)
(air whooshing)
(moody music)
(group cheering)
- [Noreen] Yay, we did it!
- Woo hoo! All right!
- Wow.
(upbeat rock music)