THE TIME TO LIVE AND THE TIME TO DIE
This film
is based on memories from my youth,
particularly impressions of my father.
My father came from Mei County, Canton Province.
In 1947
on the 40th day after my birth
he led a ball team to Guangzhou for the Provincial Games.
He was the Educational Secretary of Mei Country.
In Guangzhou he met an old classmate
from Chung-shan University, Li Kuai.
At the time, Li Kuai was the mayor of Taichung City.
He asked if my father
would move to Taiwan to be his Head Secretary.
One year later
my father wrote home saying
"This is a good place. There's tap water."
He asked my mother to bring the family over.
In 1949
my father was transferred to Taipei Educational Bureau as the Supervisor.
We lived in Hsin-chu at the time.
Because of the humidity up north
my father suffered from asthma.
When I was in the first grade
we moved to Fengshan in the south
for the sake of my father's health.
My grandmother was always wrapping silver papers.
She said the paper money was to be used in heaven.
She was already over 80 at the time.
My father was very pious.
Every time we had dinner
he wouldn't start eating until grandmother came.
But every day at meal time
grandma would be out looking for me.
Grandmother was especially good to me.
Because when I was little
a fortune teller said I was to become a great official.
My nickname in Fengshan, Ah-ha,
came from grandmother's calling of me.
Ah-ha-gu!
Ah-ha! Did you take the $5 in the purse?
I don't know.
You don't know. If not you, who else?
- Did you take it? - No.
You're lying.
Tell me.
- Where is it? - I didn't take it.
Liar.
How dare you! Come down here.
Your feet are so dirty.
Get down!
Where is it?
It's gone.
Gone?
I buried it here. Someone took it.
Nonsense.
Where is it?
I buried it here and put a brick over it.
Still lying?
It's true! I'm not lying.
What kind of man will you grow up to be?
Here. Over here!
Grandma.
Grandma, where are you going?
Go back.
To find Ah-ha-gu.
I can't recognize the road.
- Ah-Hsiao. - Nothing.
She hasn't paid me yet.
Hasn't paid you yet?
Go get it at the house.
Don't read that while you eat.
Go over it once before and once after dinner.
ABC.
Frog with curry,
Frog with curry.
"Lai" is come,
"Chu" is go.
"Wo bu chi",
"I don't know".
"Yi ke yang chien", "one dollar".
If you were not a good man in your past life, your son will be your daughter-in-law.
What do you know?
Ah-hsiao! Ah-hsiao!
Bath time.
You go. I'll wash them.
Ah-hsiao. It's okay.
You'll find a way when you're older.
Kids!
1.6 kg.
This is mine.
I have more than you do.
Ah-ha! Ah-ha-gu!
Come here.
- Grandma's going to take you back to the mainland. - I don't want to go.
Ah-ha! Ah-ha! Big cock!
Alright. Alright. It's my turn.
You're dead.
Ah-ha, save it.
Nice.
First class.
Okay.
Don't bother us if you can't play.
Don't let him in.
What do you cry for?
Ignore him.
Come on, come. It's my turn.
In an air battle today over the Matsu Strait
our courageous Air Force pilots
downed 5 Communist MIG-17's and damaged two others.
This glorious combat will serve as the greatest gift
to all of our country men
on this Double Tenth National Day.
Despite being outnumbered,
our courageous Air Force pilots were determined in combat
glorifying the spirit of revolutionary battle.
They have won the hearts of all our countrymen.
In particular, Colonel Chang Nei-chun.
In the heat of the combat, to save a nearby aircraft from enemy fire,
thinking not of himself, he rammed his plane into a communist craft.
Chien-yuan is in Qinman.
How come we haven't heard from him for so long?
I wrote him last month.
It's probably the restrictions in the war zone.
Every time I wrote him before
it took at most a week for his return letter.
What are you talking about?
Chien-yuan, Chiu-ming's son.
Oh, Chien-yuan!
It's sad what happened to his dad.
I was in Canton attending Chungshan University. I lived in his place.
At the time, he was the brigade captain.
One day
he suddenly contracted malaria.
I took a rickshaw to buy him medicine.
The rickshaw boy suddenly stumbled
smashing the rickshaw light.
I had an ominous feeling
because he stumbled right in front of a coffin store.
The day Chiu-ming died
his wife had just given birth to Chien-yuan.
She smelled something fishy in her room
and asked her mother if the fish peddler had come.
They went to look. There was nobody there.
That night
the chickens that the Changs brought over as a present began crowing.
Grandma said, "Take it to the three-road intersection
to cut off its head so the bad luck will go away."
We are going to recover the mainland!
Liar!
How come I haven't heard the news?
That's what the teacher said!
I'll shoot you, I'm telling you!
Move away! Stop looking!
There's hot water over there. Take your bath.
One family, one foot of mouth.
That's a lot of food every day.
Your father's salary is 620 dollars per month.
He keeps 20 for the barber and his own spending,
600 is for the family.
Food... the doctor...
Your father is in poor health.
Even if you teach, you still have to get married.
We have so many children in the family.
As the eldest, you have to sacrifice.
The Teachers' Academy is free.
And after graduating, you can be a teacher.
What do girls need all that education for?
You just have to be able to cook, sew, and help the farm run.
That will be enough.
She's not talking about me.
She's talking about Ah-chung.
One person attending Teachers' Academy is enough.
But it would be a pity if An-chung can't go to university.
Ah-chung, if you want to study more,
do it yourself.
Your father started teaching after he finished high school.
And he wound up going to university. Before that
he went to South Asia to learn business with Uncle Chin.
He studied whenever he had time,
while others played instead.
Uncle Chin knew your dad wasn't the business type
and told him to go back to Guangzhou for college.
He got accepted by Chung-shan University.
Where's it from?
Auntie An.
From South Africa?
What does she say?
Ah-ching-gu stopped going to school after third grade.
The Communists threw him out of his house,
said he had a bad background.
They're witnessing some movement called "Three Red Flags".
They took all the iron in our hometown.
Knives, pots, door handles, nails,
even the fire tongs. Everything.
There's no iron-smelting.
Now they have a pile of junk iron.
If only we had brought him out with us...
Did Ah-ha get into the middle school?
Don't know yet. He went to school to find if he's passed.
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
Alright. Stop crying!
- What happened? - Didn't pass.
Crying just because they didn't pass?
How do you know if you passed or not?
The teacher just came.
Chen Yen didn't pass so she's crying.
- Mom, I passed! - Really?
I got into Provincial Fengshan Middle School.
There was a chalk mark on my desk.
The teacher said that means you passed.
That's great!
Go tell your father.
Dad, I passed!
I got into Provincial Fengshan Middle School.
There was a chalk mark on my desk.
The teacher said that means you passed.
What? A check?
His teacher said he used chalk to mark the desks
of those who passed the entrance exams.
Good! Then you must study hard.
Yes.
Ah-chu, what happened to Ah-ha?
He made it into the Provincial Fengshan Middle School.
Ah-ha!
You made it!
Right!
This is for you.
You are so good.
Ah-chung, when will you know about your exam?
End of the month.
Ah-hsiao made it on his brains and luck.
He's always had the best luck.
When we lived in Hsin-chu,
remember I went to Taipei to take the exam for the First Girls' High School?
I was going to take the train myself.
But Ah-hsiao insisted on tagging along.
Remember when they used to sell red bean popsicles on the train?
The ones wrapped in red?
Really good.
Ah-hsiao kept saying he wanted one.
So I had to spend 50 cents to buy one.
And he didn't even give me a bite.
I didn't feel like asking him for any.
I remember Mom told me to look for Ah-chen at the train station.
When I found him, he said that I was really capable.
Imagining a girl traveling so far to take the exam.
Then he took me on his bike to Father's office on Chung-ching South Road.
The next day, Dad took me to the exam.
I bumped into my teacher in front of the school.
The one you said was nice.
After that, I went back to Hsin-chu to wait for the result.
Dad came back from Taipei.
I went outside to welcome him that day.
He kept laughing when he saw me, but didn't say anything.
So I asked him:
"Did I pass?"
Dad said:
"Yes. You passed!"
Then he started getting proud.
He was talking about whose daughter didn't make it... whose daughter failed.
Later he told me that I was #41 on the whole list.
I scored 100 in math!
What a pity!
I couldn't go to Taipei for First Girls' High.
How good it would be if I could've gone...
Ah-ha!
Grandma's going to take you back to the mainland, okay?
Come on!
Take the big road.
Before long, you pass a dike,
then you get to the Mekong Bridge.
A little further down the road,
and you get to our village, Wanshia.
What do we go back to the mainland for?
Stupid!
Grandma's taking you to the ancestral shrine
so you can pay homage to our ancestors!
Old lady...
Can you tell me where the Mekong Bridge is?
The Mekong Bridge!
What's she saying? What does she want?
I can't understand what she's talking about.
- What? - You don't know?
Mekong Bridge! In Mei County.
Mekong Bridge?
Did she say "bridge"? What bridge?
You don't know?
- Can you understand? - I don't know.
If you can't understand, how can I?
Grandma, there're guavas!
Let's pick some.
You try.
Not so high.
Try again.
Huilan, is the power out?
Yes!
Get some candles.
Mom!
Dad!
Dad! Dad!
- Mom, hurry! - What's wrong?
Fen-ming!
Mom, the doctor is here.
I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do.
Fen-ming!
Ah-chung, bring the boys over to hold father's hand.
Once upon a time, a man passed away.
When his family looked after his body,
a cat walked in
and jumped across the dead body.
The dead body sat up then.
So when you're looking after a dead body, you can never let a cat in.
The captain in my army once said:
When they were fighting the Japanese...
What?
When they were fighting the Japanese
a lot of people were killed.
One day a man died in the army.
His dead body also sat up after a cat jumped across it.
- The body even chased people. - Chased people?
He hugged whomever he saw.
Someone who knew about this kind of thing gave him something to hug.
He lied down when he got the thing to hug.
Don't know why.
Some people say there might be a kind of electricity in cats.
Yin.
Might be Yin.
Weird.
There are a lot of these weird things.
Ah-chu, go take your bath.
I already did.
Then Ah-hsiao, you go.
Fen-ming!
- What? - He's playing dumb.
He said he's a street peddler and doesn't earn much.
Come on, his business is good.
What'll we do? Let's corner him!
Right! Corner him!
Right!
When he leaves, we corner him.
Let's do it this way.
- Ah-shui, go over there with Ah-hou. - Okay!
Le-gu, go to the end of the road.
Let me see the one with pictures.
I'm going home. No more business today.
Ah-shui, what the hell!
Can't even stop a motorcycle?
So what's the use of being fat?
What the hell are you standing there for? Let's go!
Let's go!
Thank you!
Thank you! That time he fell from the roof.
His legs had different length.
I didn't know what to do.
I almost sent him to the Chinese martial place.
Fortunately I ran into you.
Otherwise, the child would have suffered.
His brother's home.
Ah-hsiao, come.
This is Mr. Liu.
How are you?
Huilan, Mr. Liu is leaving.
Good-bye.
Watch your step.
Good-bye.
You have to wash it first.
You don't have to behave like that even if you don't like it.
Anyway, I wrote to Fangmei and we both agreed not to pay attention to him.
It was written in the bible,
all the men who are not married have the right to court girls
Mom, someone's here.
Mr. Liu.
- Grandma. - I met her under the tall tree.
She's lost.
So I brought her home.
I've paid for the rickshaw.
Thank you.
Guavas.
Yes. He's of class 5.
Look, he pasted his little cheating notes here.
Look how orderly the whole thing is.
Imagine how much time was spent on such an endeavor.
If only that time could be put into your study,
study more history, geography, wouldn't that be nice?
You're not stupid.
Why did you do such a stupid thing?
He thinks he's smart, that's why.
Let go! Give it to me!
There's nothing!
Think you're big, huh?
Why did you beat him?
- I heard you're from Red Mountain. - What about Red Mountain?
Talking back? Fight back?
- Was it him last time? - Yes.
You think you're big.
Do you think he's the one you can bully?
Where does the other one live?
What are you doing?
Who? Huang Chin-shui.
What are you doing?
Good day, sir.
Grandma.
What are you doing?
I'm counting my silver money.
Counting silver money?
What are you counting silver money for?
So I can use them in heaven.
"So I can use them in heaven."
Grandma, come on! We're taking pictures.
I'm so old, why do I need to have my picture taken? It's okay!
Come on! For souvenir. Come on!
Put it down.
- Let's take some pictures, okay? - Okay.
Ah-hsiao! Come on and take the pictures.
Thank you.
Ah-hsiao, come out and take some pictures.
Grandma, you have to look that way.
Go get a chair.
One more.
Put it away!
Put it back!
Little crook! Do you know what day this is today?
- Put it back! - What are you doing?
Hurry up.
Put it back.
Come here.
How dare you...
Get out.
Stand here! Stand put!
Stand here!
Listen!
Do you know that today is the day of Vice President Chen's funeral?
Did you know?
Little crook! Get him! Get him!
Come back!
Little crook! Damn it!
Come back!
Come back if you dare!
Mr. Lee...
Your brother should have been expelled.
But, considering that he's already in his senior year,
we decided to give him two serious demerits and a detention.
He's still young, right?
We'll give him a chance to start anew.
The problem is that the head teacher of his class, Mr. Tao,
doesn't want him to stay in his class.
After discussing that, we've decided to transfer him to another class.
We'll do as you say, Mr. Chen.
Please look after him for us.
Can't go on, can't go on...
can't go on living.
Life without you is darkness.
Please come back.
Where are you now?
The one I love.
Can't go on, can't go on...
can't go on living.
Life without you is darkness.
My mother brought this piece of jade back from the South Seas.
This ring...
My father bought it in Shanghai for my 17th birthday.
Chunying is so thin.
Don't let him stay up too late.
Health is the most important thing.
Everything else is unreal.
When I got married to your father
I didn't know his health was poor.
In our 20-year marriage,
I served him for 20 years.
Ah-hsiao, stop singing!
Sounds terrible!
When I was a teacher,
I had a colleague.
We got along very well.
But I didn't dare tell my parents.
I was really stupid.
Did Dad know this?
Your father was a very serious man.
He would come home and start reading books.
So quietly.
When I first got married to him,
he even told me to study English
and ask him if I encountered difficulties.
The time we were newlywed,
your grandfather was out of work.
Your father's family didn't have much money.
So we had a traveling wedding.
We didn't even have a bed. We were in a pinch.
When we got back to Mei County, we slept in Grandma's bed.
I got bitten by bugs at night.
The next day, I used hot water to kill the bugs.
I told your father.
He was quite upset.
He said: "We're not as rich as your family."
In my first pregnancy, when I gave birth to you,
we didn't let Grandma know.
The second pregnancy, I went home to give birth.
And had Ahchin.
Your Grandma was very unpleasant.
She said I kept having girls.
She wouldn't help me wash the diapers.
The third day of my recovery month
I went by the pond to wash the diapers.
My tears fell into the pond.
I heard people say
that there was a baby boy I could adopt.
That was Ah-ching-gu.
Ah-ching-gu and Ahchin were breastfed together.
I didn't have enough milk for both of them.
So I didn't let Ahchin have it, but let Ah-Ching have enough.
I remember then
Ahchin would call:
"Mama, milk."
I hid behind the mosquito net and didn't dare make a sound.
One day
Grandma took Ahchin to the ancestors' shrine to play.
She ate some unsanitary offerings.
At night she vomited and kept having diarrhea.
I wanted to take her to Mei County, but it was too far away.
So I bought some medicine at a local store.
It stopped the diarrhea.
But by midnight her stomach grew hard.
The next day
she died.
Ah-hsiao!
Go buy some soy sauce.
Ah-hsiao,
can you see this thing on my tongue?
It's like a little piece of flesh.
Mom, what's wrong?
How come you're not sleeping?
I got up to go to the bathroom.
Go back to sleep.
I'm writing a letter to your sister.
I went to the hospital today.
The doctor said he needed a specimen.
Could be... throat cancer.
Nobody cooks at home.
And if nobody looks after Grandma, she disappears.
Ah-chung teaches in Shiaokang, he can't come back.
I don't feel safe.
Ah-hsiao knows what to do.
Cooking, washing clothes...
He even knows how to use the sewing machine.
All he has to do is prepare food for the next day's lunch boxes. That's all.
We'll ask Auntie Wang across the street to take care of Grandma.
Wednesdays, Saturdays and Sundays I don't have classes.
I can come home.
Besides, the hospital facilities are better in Taipei.
And there are many more doctors.
Ah-hsiao, the fire's ready.
How come the bathroom smells like milk?
Ask Ah-chu.
He drinks milk all day, so his shit becomes milky.
You're drinking milk again.
This is the notice for your physical exam,
the neighborhood leader brought it over.
What do you drink milk all day for?
What's wrong with drinking milk?
It's very nutritious.
Protein, hemosiderin, minerals... Everything's in it.
And I don't draw maps anymore.
What do you mean, "draw maps"?
Draw maps, that means wet dreams.
Does this old lady live here?
Yes.
Grandma's back.
How much is it?
- 100. - 100?
- 100. - Why so much?
100 isn't much.
She's been sitting in my rickshaw since morning.
It's less to go from Kaohsiung to Fengshan.
She kept telling me to turn,
she even asked me to take her back to the mainland.
100 is too much.
100 isn't much.
My price is reasonable.
I wouldn't charge you a cent extra.
100 isn't much.
100 is too much.
- Give me 100. - 100 is too much.
- Give it to me. - 100? - Yes. Give it to me.
- You want 10? - No, I want 100. - You want 10? - No, I don't.
What are you doing?
Let's go. Go in.
I don't feel like this.
- Let's go see a movie instead. - What are you talking about?
You wanted to come, and you want to go to a movie now.
What the hell are you doing?
Let's go! Let's go inside.
Since you've come, go inside.
- Well? - Nothing.
What do you mean nothing?
I didn't.
- Where's Ah-hou? - They haven't come out yet.
Well?
I didn't.
What actually happened? Why don't you tell me?
I tell you I didn't.
You were in there so long. What happened?
A red envelope! Let me see it!
5 dollars.
What are you laughing at?
He's got a red envelope.
Let me see it.
5 dollars.
Red envelope! You lost your virginity!
Wu Su-mei! Ah-ha is no longer a virgin.
Ah-ha!
What?
I tell you! I just took my girlfriend to the movies.
Some guys cut in line.
You know who? Cat and his guys.
I told them not to cut in.
They pushed me. Pushed me!
I told them I'm Ah-ha's friend.
Not only did they not apologize, they hit me!
Cat, come.
Why'd you hit him?
When he hit you, didn't you tell him whose brother you are?
I'll pull him away.
Hit him as soon as we meet, understand?
Ah-ha, come here for a second.
What did you beat Cat for?
My friend said he knew you as well as me,
but he was beat anyway.
How can I face my friend?
But if you want to beat him up, you've got to at least tell me.
I couldn't. He deserved it.
So what do you want me to do?
It's up to you.
Forget it... Not big deal...
We'll settle this next time we meet.
Be careful!
Don't let me run into you in the street. Watch out!
Not happy?
Ah-mi!
Grandma, it's time to eat.
Come.
Open the door!
- What happened? - Hurry up!
- What's going on? - The West Gate guys are coming this way.
Get the samurai sword in your house.
Freeze!
Ah-mi, did anyone come looking for me?
No.
Ah-mi!
Get up!
Ah-hsiao!
You forgot to make our lunch boxes, right?
10 dollars.
Mom!
Mom, sit down and rest awhile.
Put the bags there.
Put the suitcase over by the cabinet.
Ah-hsiao, start up the fire.
And start boiling some water.
Mom needs to take a bath.
Ah-shui!
- Did anything happen yesterday? - No. But Hsienbao got nabbed.
So what happened?
His father went to the precinct to see him.
Hasn't come back yet.
Where are you going?
My mother is back. I'm going to buy groceries.
- Did the Pigs come by? - Haven't seen them.
I heard that they really cracked down at the West Gate last night.
Ah-hsiao!
Take this in for me.
Okay.
I put the groceries here.
Ah-chung wrote a letter
saying that you spent a lot of money.
Did you go gambling?
No.
Don't become a gambler.
How's Mom's condition?
The doctor intended to cut out her whole tongue.
But Mom wouldn't.
She can't speak without a tongue.
Then?
Then they gave her Cobalt 60 treatment.
It's not helpful.
You don't have to go to school now, right?
We're on pre-exam holidays.
So you've almost graduated.
Any plans?
I want to enter Military Academy.
The military teacher said I could enroll without taking exams.
Ah-chung.
You said in your letter that you were going to take a physical exam.
When do you have to go to the army?
The results of the physical exam already came.
I weigh 39 kilos.
That's "C" classification.
So you don't have to go to the army this year?
There may be a follow-up check next year.
I heard one has to be checked 3 times.
What about your application to transfer to Tseng-gong Elementary school?
There's no one to transfer with.
Ever since he was a baby,
Ah-chung's health has been poor.
He was born premature.
I was teaching then
and had to cook after I got home and had water filled in.
It was different when I had Ah-hsiao.
We had more money then
and milk to drink.
That time your father went to Guangzhou.
He carried him to the doorway
and said his face was so round.
So like your Grandfather.
Ah-hsiao! Go get some tissue.
Ah-ha!
Ah-ha, hurry up! Ah-chung got hacked.
Just now in front of the theater.
Hurry! In front of the theater.
I can't today.
My Mom's sick. How could I go?
Otherwise give me your samurai sword. Hurry!
What bliss!
What comfort!
No more tears. No more burdens.
Enter into freedom, luminous joy.
Rest in the bosom of Lord Jesus.
Return to the Lord forever.
Sleep with the Lord! Sleep with the Lord!
What bliss! What comfort!
No more tears. No more burdens.
Enter into freedom, luminous joy.
Rest in the bosom of Lord Jesus.
Return to the Lord forever.
Wang Cha-he gave 35.
Wu Yi-han gave 40.
30.
Uncle A-Huo.
Haven't seen him for so long, and still he gave 60.
Ah-chung.
The jewelry is for you to use when you get married.
What's this?
Mother's trust money.
Mother was supposed to collect the final pool of money.
But the woman who organized the trust, Mrs. Yeh,
borrowed Mom's share. This is the I.O.U.
- You mean the Mrs. Yeh who lives near North Gate? - Yes.
She borrowed it without even asking.
This is father's autobiography.
Dad originally planned
to stay in Taiwan for only three or four years before going back.
So he bought bamboo furniture because it was cheap
and he could throw it away when he left.
Later Mom wanted to buy a sewing machine.
It took so long to persuade Dad.
Dad had tuberculosis.
So he kept his towel and chopsticks away from ours.
He kept a distance from us.
Avoiding us when he coughed
because he was afraid that we might be infected.
Looks like this one.
Mrs. Yeh!
Who is it?
Aren't you Hsiao-yen?
Have a seat.
Have some tea.
Is there anything I can do for you?
Grandma, time to eat.
Ah-chung.
I went to Mrs. Yeh's house today.
Their house is even worse than ours.
I think we should forget about that trust money.
Let's wait until you pass the University Entrance exams.
That summer
I really took the University Entrance exams.
I didn't go to Military Academy.
All because of the words Wu said.
Later, Ah-chung wrote me a letter from Shiao-kang.
He said he wrote a letter to Mrs. Yeh
saying that she needn't return the trust money.
Mrs. Yeh wrote back.
She was very grateful
and said she will pay us back when she gets the pension.
One year later Grandma passed away, too.
I failed the University Entrance Exams.
Wu Su-mei moved to Kaohsiung with her family.
The month before Grandma passed away. She kept lying on the tatami mat.
She couldn't control her excrements.
At the time my two brothers and I were the only ones home.
We called a doctor. But he said she was too old.
It wasn't until one day,
when we noticed ants crawling on Grandma's hands
that we found out she had been dead for who knows how long.
Ah-mi!
Get some water and a towel.
Hurry up!
We called the undertaker to clean up.
When they turned Grandmother's body around
they found that the other side had rotted.
The undertaker gave us a dirty look.
"Unpious descendants!"
He must have been cursing that in his heart.
Even to this day,
I still often think about Grandma's road back to the mainland.
Maybe I was the only one to ever walk with her down that road.
I remember that afternoon we picked a lot of guavas.