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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
1
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Get a load of this loser.
2
00:00:07,122 --> 00:00:08,982
ALBA: Yeah, looks like
a barista or something.
3
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- Probably writes poetry.
- (SCOFFS)
4
00:00:12,764 --> 00:00:14,390
Is that your boyfriend?
5
00:00:14,396 --> 00:00:16,881
No, that's not my boyfriend.
It's my poetry teacher, Mr. Reed.
6
00:00:16,887 --> 00:00:18,692
- What?! Are you serious?
- Nailed it.
7
00:00:18,724 --> 00:00:20,167
What are you two so happy about?
8
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Don't worry about it.
9
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Don't you think it's a little bit late
10
00:00:22,382 --> 00:00:24,217
to be getting a ride
home from your teacher?
11
00:00:24,243 --> 00:00:26,342
I was at an open mike night
at the coffee shop he works at.
12
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- What?!
- (GASPS) Two times! Two times!
13
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- You're good.
- What is happening?
14
00:00:29,779 --> 00:00:32,065
Eh, nothing. Just that
we are psychic as balls.
15
00:00:32,091 --> 00:00:34,555
Mm-hmm. And as a psychic
person, I will have you know
16
00:00:34,581 --> 00:00:36,537
it's never a good idea to
have sex with your teacher.
17
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- I'm not sleeping with him.
- Good.
18
00:00:38,819 --> 00:00:40,878
- Yet.
- Wha... ? Oh, come on.
19
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Sabrina, I always knew you were dumb,
20
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but I didn't realize you
were a walking cliché.
21
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I thought you liked the pretty
morons with the cheese-grater abs.
22
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Yeah, I did, when I was
younger. But I'm a woman now.
23
00:00:50,739 --> 00:00:52,981
I can grate cheese on Brian's brains.
24
00:00:53,347 --> 00:00:55,664
Brian sounds like a real child molester.
25
00:00:55,679 --> 00:00:57,895
Why? Because he thinks
I have a real future?
26
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- In poetry?
- Sure.
27
00:00:59,649 --> 00:01:01,063
Or maybe as a singer/songwriter,
28
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if I ever decide to
put my words to music.
29
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You can't sing. Or write songs.
30
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Come on, open your eyes, this
guy just wants to bang you.
31
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Oh, really? Then why
does he want me to read
32
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my poetry at the school's Art Fest?
33
00:01:11,615 --> 00:01:13,755
Uh, because he wants to bang you.
34
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BEN: I like poetry.
35
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- Boat, coat, moat.
- Yeah, careful, Ben,
36
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she might fall in love with you, too.
37
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Listen, I had a fling in high
school with a faculty member,
38
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and it was a big mistake.
39
00:01:23,326 --> 00:01:24,820
You slept with a teacher? Sweet.
40
00:01:24,850 --> 00:01:26,558
No, it was not sweet.
And it wasn't a teacher.
41
00:01:26,584 --> 00:01:28,129
It was just this guy
who worked at the school.
42
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Mm-hmm. Like a janitor?
43
00:01:29,572 --> 00:01:31,127
No, not like a janitor.
44
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He was head of maintenance.
45
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So King Janitor.
46
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All that matters is that
it was very traumatic.
47
00:01:37,186 --> 00:01:39,707
Once he got what he wanted
from me, he just blew me off.
48
00:01:39,832 --> 00:01:41,522
And when I tried to
confront him about it,
49
00:01:41,552 --> 00:01:43,927
he... he just acted like
nothing ever happened, you know?
50
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Like I was just this crazy psycho
who dreamt the whole thing up.
51
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And nobody believed me.
52
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They all trusted the janitor, huh?
53
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At least the janitor drove a car.
54
00:01:54,670 --> 00:01:56,306
(THUDDING)
55
00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,875
Whoa. What's going on?
56
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I'm trying to stick the frickin'
landing on the frickin' handspring.
57
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- You got to bend your knees.
- I freaking know that!
58
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Okay, hey, don't snap at me, all right?
59
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Talk to me.
60
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Let me in.
61
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Okay, well...
62
00:02:19,495 --> 00:02:21,595
they published the
eighth grade Hot List,
63
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and I came in at number 42.
64
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- Oh, that's not so bad.
- Out of 50.
65
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Oh. That stings.
66
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God, you know, when I was a kid,
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they used to tack that
thing to the bulletin board.
68
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I was always top five.
69
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One time I got strep throat,
70
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they had to send everyone
home on antibiotics.
71
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I don't get it. I've tried everything.
72
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My hair is bigger than it's ever been.
73
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I paid for everyone's lunches last week.
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I spent a fortune on this belt buckle.
75
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I figured this handspring
would really turn things around.
76
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Give me 200 bucks...
I'll fix your problem.
77
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- You can get me to number one?
- Yeah.
78
00:02:52,441 --> 00:02:54,215
Well, I mean, right after
I cure genital herpes
79
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and fix the racial divide in America.
80
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No, I am not a miracle worker, Chip.
81
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But I can get you in the top 20.
82
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Okay, fine.
83
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What do I got to do?
84
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You get some beauty sleep
85
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and enjoy your final
night of being uncool.
86
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YOUNG WOMAN: "I got up from
the floor, and I took a walk.
87
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"As I reached the top of the bridge,
88
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my feet trembled.
89
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I realized just how
easily I could jump."
90
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- (SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
- Do it. Jump already.
91
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- Don't heckle the poets.
- Oh.
92
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Got to keep a low profile.
93
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I'm trying to assess how
big of a threat Mr. Reed is.
94
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MICKEY: Oh, yep. There he is,
95
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surrounded by all of his groupies.
96
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Ah, probably deciding
which one he wants...
97
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to kill.
98
00:03:37,205 --> 00:03:39,283
I don't think poets are
going around killing people.
99
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Yeah? What about Che Guevara?
100
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I don't know what that means. Shh.
101
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"Wind passes.
102
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The glowering sun emerges,
103
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and with it a new day."
104
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(SIGHS)
105
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I'm sorry.
106
00:03:54,213 --> 00:03:56,276
Just with all the pain in the world...
107
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it feels more appropriate to
speak from the heart, off the cuff.
108
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- Ew, gross.
- Yeah.
109
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When I close my eyes,
110
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I see our land in flames.
111
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And I ask myself, who do we blame?
112
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Do we blame the old beggar
with the crumbs in his beard?
113
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Or do you not see him?
114
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- Do you wish...
- Is he gonna say "disappear"?
115
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... he'd disappear?
116
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- Get out of here.
- Wha... ?
117
00:04:19,727 --> 00:04:22,043
- Did you know that one?
- What the hell was that? No.
118
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It wasn't... that wasn't off the cuff.
119
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- It rhymed. It was a poem.
- (GASPS QUIETLY)
120
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(GASPS) Did he just tickle her?
121
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He definitely did just tickle her.
122
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We caught a predator.
123
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I'm gonna go give Dr.
Seuss a piece of my mind.
124
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All right. Well, I'm
gonna hang back. Oh, hey.
125
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Do you think they got hash here?
126
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What, like, on the menu?
127
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- Yeah.
- No.
128
00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:44,184
You know, it's cool. I'm
gonna ask anyway. Yeah.
129
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Psst.
130
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(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
131
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- Ow! Aah...
- JIMMY: Oh, yeah!
132
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That's gonna shine up real nice.
133
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Wha... ?
134
00:04:58,986 --> 00:05:00,785
The hell is the matter with
you, you frickin' idiots!
135
00:05:00,803 --> 00:05:02,314
Okay, you know what,
you want to complain,
136
00:05:02,330 --> 00:05:03,382
or you want to hear the plan?
137
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That bruise is your ticket
to climbing The Hot List.
138
00:05:06,706 --> 00:05:08,887
- How?
- Aw, Chip.
139
00:05:09,609 --> 00:05:11,446
I look at you and I see nothing.
140
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You're not smart. You're not funny.
141
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You look like a jackass.
Okay? You got no hook.
142
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That black eye's gonna give
you some much-needed mystique.
143
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Do I have mystique?
144
00:05:21,044 --> 00:05:22,258
An assload of it.
145
00:05:22,673 --> 00:05:24,218
Now, pay attention.
When you go to school
146
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people are gonna ask you what happened.
147
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You keep it vague. You
say, "Don't worry about it."
148
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You let the rumor mill do the work.
149
00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:31,694
Whatever they cook up
is gonna be far sexier
150
00:05:31,710 --> 00:05:34,102
than the fact you got your
ass kicked by a ten-year-old.
151
00:05:34,135 --> 00:05:36,417
- I'm seven.
- I rest my case.
152
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Guess it's worth a shot.
153
00:05:38,841 --> 00:05:39,954
Yeah.
154
00:05:39,959 --> 00:05:42,344
But first we're gonna need to
make that bruise a little deeper.
155
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Ben.
156
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Due cappuccino. Enjoy.
157
00:05:47,437 --> 00:05:49,887
So, you like underage
girls, is that right?
158
00:05:50,665 --> 00:05:52,921
- Excuse me?
- Oh, your little cheering section over there.
159
00:05:52,946 --> 00:05:55,584
- You like 'em young?
- Oh. My students.
160
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To be honest, I think they're only
here 'cause I offered them extra credit.
161
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Oh, I bet you did.
162
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What do you offer them
next, a little red wine?
163
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Some aged cheeses?
164
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I'm sorry, I don't follow.
165
00:06:06,549 --> 00:06:08,904
Let me see if you can follow
this, Mr. Tambourine Man.
166
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I see you. I see right through you.
167
00:06:11,261 --> 00:06:12,755
- So if you think that...
- I'm sorry to interrupt,
168
00:06:12,775 --> 00:06:15,977
but can you just tilt your head
that way, just a little bit?
169
00:06:17,497 --> 00:06:18,498
Why?
170
00:06:18,559 --> 00:06:20,483
The way the light is
bouncing off your hair,
171
00:06:20,515 --> 00:06:22,254
it looks really cool.
172
00:06:23,896 --> 00:06:27,165
Well, I just got
highlights. (NERVOUS CHUCKLE)
173
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I'm Brian.
174
00:06:29,523 --> 00:06:30,698
Yeah.
175
00:06:33,010 --> 00:06:35,597
- Oh, hey, where'd you go last night?
- Yeah,
176
00:06:35,841 --> 00:06:36,989
it's kind of a long story.
177
00:06:36,995 --> 00:06:38,596
(CHUCKLES): Yeah. Tell me about it.
178
00:06:38,602 --> 00:06:40,309
They didn't sell hash at that place,
179
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but I got to talking
to some of those poets,
180
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and they had hash, so we
smoked up in their van,
181
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and we got so faded.
182
00:06:47,109 --> 00:06:48,512
(LAUGHS): Oh, it's good.
183
00:06:48,542 --> 00:06:49,589
- That's really great.
- Mm.
184
00:06:49,630 --> 00:06:51,500
Yeah. Oh. What about you?
185
00:06:51,530 --> 00:06:54,856
- Did you confront Sabrina's teacher?
- Yeah, yeah. Kind of.
186
00:06:54,927 --> 00:06:56,219
And then I banged him.
187
00:06:56,412 --> 00:06:58,978
- What?
- Yeah. Now, look, before you say anything,
188
00:06:59,039 --> 00:07:01,228
it's actually a pretty
smart parenting move, right?
189
00:07:01,249 --> 00:07:02,682
- Mm.
- She's not gonna want to go
190
00:07:02,707 --> 00:07:05,041
anywhere near that guy,
'cause I poisoned the well...
191
00:07:05,452 --> 00:07:07,030
'cause I'm the champ.
192
00:07:07,063 --> 00:07:08,532
You don't follow the champ.
193
00:07:09,509 --> 00:07:13,052
So... you had sex
with Sabrina's crush...
194
00:07:13,177 --> 00:07:14,700
- for Sabrina?
- Mm-hmm.
195
00:07:14,730 --> 00:07:16,722
She better thank me for it,
too, 'cause it was not good.
196
00:07:16,758 --> 00:07:18,659
- Oh.
- Lot of ear stuff.
197
00:07:19,248 --> 00:07:20,484
What happened to you?
198
00:07:20,509 --> 00:07:22,520
Lose your keys and have
to sleep in the yard again?
199
00:07:22,645 --> 00:07:25,190
Nope. Actually, I was with a man.
200
00:07:25,231 --> 00:07:26,816
Oh. Good for you.
201
00:07:26,849 --> 00:07:28,046
Did he have a nice tent?
202
00:07:28,113 --> 00:07:30,639
- Okay. I go do something else.
- (MICKEY CHUCKLES)
203
00:07:30,764 --> 00:07:32,113
Nope. No tent.
204
00:07:32,189 --> 00:07:35,070
Uh, just a crappy
little studio apartment.
205
00:07:35,195 --> 00:07:38,775
Actually, think you might
know this man: Mr. Brian Reed.
206
00:07:39,172 --> 00:07:41,068
(LAUGHS) Yeah, right.
207
00:07:41,866 --> 00:07:43,000
I'm sorry?
208
00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:45,419
(LAUGHING): Are you... Are you serious?
209
00:07:45,635 --> 00:07:48,171
Oh, my God, Mickey, he's
way out of your league.
210
00:07:48,606 --> 00:07:50,934
- (SCOFFS) Clearly not.
- Mr. Reed prefers smart,
211
00:07:50,949 --> 00:07:53,257
interesting women. Like me.
212
00:07:53,298 --> 00:07:55,132
Oh, believe you me, I had him.
213
00:07:55,257 --> 00:07:57,655
- I plowed him. Plowed him good.
- Mm-hmm.
214
00:07:57,673 --> 00:08:00,067
And I wouldn't be surprised
if he needs to take a sick day.
215
00:08:01,201 --> 00:08:02,670
Oh, God, what do you have?
216
00:08:03,417 --> 00:08:06,908
Nothing. No, not me.
I'm not gross or sick.
217
00:08:07,033 --> 00:08:08,845
- I... I exhausted him...
- Mm-hmm.
218
00:08:09,368 --> 00:08:10,527
with sex.
219
00:08:10,593 --> 00:08:12,581
Mickey, it is one thing
to lie about hooking up
220
00:08:12,586 --> 00:08:13,862
with your teacher when
you were in high school,
221
00:08:13,907 --> 00:08:15,879
but to do it when you're 50 is just sad.
222
00:08:15,925 --> 00:08:18,090
No, no, no. Don't do
that to me. No, I...
223
00:08:18,115 --> 00:08:20,047
First of all, I'm not
anywhere near fi...
224
00:08:20,069 --> 00:08:22,857
It... That doesn't matter. I had
them. I had both of them, all right.
225
00:08:22,872 --> 00:08:24,375
I had Mr. Reed, I had Winston.
226
00:08:24,408 --> 00:08:25,714
- I had both of them.
- Okay.
227
00:08:25,741 --> 00:08:27,538
- It's not a lie.
- I'm sorry.
228
00:08:27,564 --> 00:08:29,470
- I'm not lying. I didn't lie then. Thank you.
- I'm sorry.
229
00:08:29,521 --> 00:08:31,483
I don't mean to be rude, okay? I just...
230
00:08:31,523 --> 00:08:33,825
I can't picture Mr. Reed slumming it
231
00:08:33,850 --> 00:08:35,284
with some leather-skinned drifter.
232
00:08:35,986 --> 00:08:37,359
How is that not rude?
233
00:08:37,531 --> 00:08:38,914
'Cause it's accurate.
234
00:08:39,971 --> 00:08:41,165
You know what?
235
00:08:41,290 --> 00:08:43,189
(LAUGHING): This is fine.
236
00:08:43,244 --> 00:08:45,552
It's no big deal. I'll just
have to prove it to you.
237
00:08:45,770 --> 00:08:47,264
I look forward to that.
238
00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:52,637
Hey, man.
239
00:08:53,186 --> 00:08:54,329
What happened to your eye?
240
00:08:54,390 --> 00:08:55,839
It's nothing, don't worry about it.
241
00:08:56,238 --> 00:08:59,451
Whatever, he probably got
beat up by his fine-ass sister.
242
00:09:00,503 --> 00:09:03,267
A... all right, all right. I...
I... I'll tell you what happened.
243
00:09:03,623 --> 00:09:06,189
I was chillin' down at Marucci's Pizza,
244
00:09:06,250 --> 00:09:07,866
and I was in line for a slice
245
00:09:07,886 --> 00:09:11,216
when these three goons from
South Greenwich cut me in line,
246
00:09:11,231 --> 00:09:13,503
so normally, I'm a
helluva laid back guy.
247
00:09:13,628 --> 00:09:16,227
Okay, but there's only one
slice of 'roni left, and 'roni...
248
00:09:16,352 --> 00:09:17,687
that's my favorite topping.
249
00:09:18,647 --> 00:09:20,676
So I tell the guy, I was
like, "Yo, there's a line."
250
00:09:20,732 --> 00:09:23,130
And he goes, "Oh. You want
to do something about it?"
251
00:09:23,255 --> 00:09:25,305
And I was like, "Yeah. I
thought you'd never ask."
252
00:09:25,430 --> 00:09:28,406
Long story short, he pops me in
the eye, I don't feel a thing.
253
00:09:28,438 --> 00:09:30,707
So I say to the guy behind the
counter, I was like, "Yo, bro,
254
00:09:30,740 --> 00:09:32,709
let me get that last slice
of pepperoni pizza to go.
255
00:09:32,741 --> 00:09:34,429
My friend here will take a body bag."
256
00:09:34,465 --> 00:09:36,758
- Wham!
- Whoa.
257
00:09:37,246 --> 00:09:38,831
Roundhouse kick right to the face.
258
00:09:38,857 --> 00:09:40,402
You're gnarly for real, bro.
259
00:09:40,473 --> 00:09:43,829
Yeah. I didn't stick around long
enough to see if he actually died, but
260
00:09:43,910 --> 00:09:45,967
I haven't heard anything,
so I guess I'm good.
261
00:09:45,979 --> 00:09:48,154
Damn. I... I didn't know
you were into beating ass.
262
00:09:48,211 --> 00:09:50,193
There's a lot of stuff
people don't know about me.
263
00:09:50,318 --> 00:09:51,647
I'm mad mysterious.
264
00:09:54,262 --> 00:09:56,232
- STUDENT: Whoa.
- (INDISTINCT TALKING)
265
00:09:56,962 --> 00:09:58,873
Inhale. (INHALES)
266
00:09:58,930 --> 00:10:00,976
Take all the thoughts in your mind,
267
00:10:01,057 --> 00:10:03,578
place them in an imaginary backpack.
268
00:10:03,593 --> 00:10:05,737
Or messenger bag, if you prefer.
269
00:10:05,862 --> 00:10:08,146
Now, take the bag of your choice,
270
00:10:08,178 --> 00:10:10,021
and embrace its weight.
271
00:10:10,042 --> 00:10:11,988
- I've got something you can embrace.
- (GASPS) Hey, hi.
272
00:10:12,015 --> 00:10:13,498
What are you, what are you doing here?
273
00:10:13,544 --> 00:10:15,872
- Just came to see my boo. Hi.
- Hi. Hi.
274
00:10:15,898 --> 00:10:17,545
- Miss us. Oh.
- (GASPS) No, don't... don't do that.
275
00:10:17,601 --> 00:10:19,660
- Uh, you need to leave. This is very inappropriate.
- Mmm.
276
00:10:19,688 --> 00:10:22,517
Oh, yeah, will do, magic man.
No, just real quick, I just wa...
277
00:10:22,557 --> 00:10:25,095
H... h... h... hold on a second,
where... where's Sabrina?
278
00:10:25,127 --> 00:10:26,430
I thought she was in this class.
279
00:10:26,466 --> 00:10:29,327
- Sabrina Pemberton? You know her?
- Yeah, I'm her aunt.
280
00:10:29,347 --> 00:10:31,075
I really wanted her to
hear this next part, though.
281
00:10:31,090 --> 00:10:33,098
- Can I talk to you outside? Thanks.
- Uh-huh.
282
00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:34,831
Could've sworn that she
would've been in there.
283
00:10:34,861 --> 00:10:36,365
Well, hey, do you know where she is?
284
00:10:36,385 --> 00:10:38,271
'Cause maybe you could walk
me to the class? Is that dumb?
285
00:10:38,291 --> 00:10:40,320
That's crazy. I'm sorry,
that's crazy. (LAUGHS)
286
00:10:40,340 --> 00:10:43,221
Oh... Come over for dinner tonight.
287
00:10:43,346 --> 00:10:45,582
Yes. She'll be there, that's
where she can see us together.
288
00:10:45,587 --> 00:10:47,940
Okay, what do you like to
eat? You like, uh, pizza?
289
00:10:47,956 --> 00:10:49,577
No. Look, last night...
290
00:10:50,426 --> 00:10:51,524
was a mistake.
291
00:10:52,087 --> 00:10:53,272
Okay, well, hold on.
292
00:10:53,470 --> 00:10:54,659
I know that.
293
00:10:54,857 --> 00:10:57,008
A mistake, are you kidding
me? I was gonna tell you that.
294
00:10:57,064 --> 00:10:58,995
Look, if I'd known that you
were a parent at this school,
295
00:10:59,029 --> 00:11:00,697
I would have never slept with you.
296
00:11:00,730 --> 00:11:02,518
Well, that's rich coming from a man
297
00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:04,932
- with a harem of young girls.
- I have to go.
298
00:11:04,967 --> 00:11:06,771
- (SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
- All right. Well, h... hold on a second. Hey.
299
00:11:07,244 --> 00:11:08,473
Do the right thing.
300
00:11:08,837 --> 00:11:10,039
(INDISTINCT CHATTER NEARBY)
301
00:11:10,506 --> 00:11:12,245
JIMMY: Yo. There's the man.
302
00:11:12,260 --> 00:11:14,922
- How'd I do?
- Uh, frickin' amazing.
303
00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:17,355
- Yeah. Still got it.
- Ben, I want to thank you.
304
00:11:17,381 --> 00:11:20,125
This black eye is the greatest
gift I've ever been given.
305
00:11:20,152 --> 00:11:21,926
- Really?
- Big time.
306
00:11:21,979 --> 00:11:24,520
You're looking at the second
hottest dude in eighth grade.
307
00:11:25,053 --> 00:11:26,356
Wow.
308
00:11:26,389 --> 00:11:27,945
It works.
309
00:11:29,826 --> 00:11:31,628
Hey. Second?
310
00:11:31,972 --> 00:11:33,362
As in number two?
311
00:11:33,395 --> 00:11:34,544
Believe it.
312
00:11:34,747 --> 00:11:36,999
Okay, the only way you go from 42 to two
313
00:11:37,035 --> 00:11:40,002
is if some guy goes in there
and mows down 40 other kids.
314
00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,308
What'd you do?
315
00:11:41,433 --> 00:11:43,423
Nothing. Some kid was dogging on me,
316
00:11:43,443 --> 00:11:45,436
so I told him I tuned up some
public school kids. (LAUGHS)
317
00:11:45,456 --> 00:11:47,906
Oh, my God, you fool. I
told you to keep it vague.
318
00:11:47,947 --> 00:11:50,620
Sorry if I took your advice
and made it a frick-ton better.
319
00:11:50,630 --> 00:11:51,894
Nah, you don't get it, man.
320
00:11:51,926 --> 00:11:53,768
Now you're a fighter,
and that's very specific.
321
00:11:53,783 --> 00:11:55,604
You're gonna walk around
with a target on your back.
322
00:11:55,636 --> 00:11:58,374
Yeah? Well, heavy lies the crown.
323
00:11:59,264 --> 00:12:00,738
(GRUNTS)
324
00:12:00,763 --> 00:12:03,451
G-give me ba-back my b-binder.
325
00:12:03,489 --> 00:12:05,108
"B-B-Binder." What?
326
00:12:05,172 --> 00:12:07,831
I can't understand you. Speak English.
327
00:12:08,786 --> 00:12:10,633
Can I help you?
328
00:12:12,636 --> 00:12:15,871
- (SIGHS)
- KIDS: Whoa.
329
00:12:15,904 --> 00:12:17,308
You're welcome.
330
00:12:19,327 --> 00:12:20,859
♪ My mind is soft ♪
331
00:12:20,922 --> 00:12:22,847
- Ow.
- ♪ I never owe ♪
332
00:12:22,879 --> 00:12:24,246
♪ Nobody else ♪
333
00:12:24,258 --> 00:12:27,298
- ♪ I never owe nobody else ♪
- There you go.
334
00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:29,252
♪ But you ♪
335
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,121
♪ ♪
336
00:12:32,154 --> 00:12:34,290
♪ My mind is soft ♪
337
00:12:37,515 --> 00:12:41,149
- (GRUNTS)
- ♪ I never owe nobody else ♪
338
00:12:41,168 --> 00:12:44,180
♪ I never owe nobody else ♪
339
00:12:45,820 --> 00:12:49,359
- ♪ Do you want come my way? ♪
- (GRUNTS)
340
00:12:49,410 --> 00:12:52,485
♪ Did you want to come
and miss my mind here? ♪
341
00:12:52,504 --> 00:12:55,782
♪ Do you want to come
and miss my mind here? ♪
342
00:12:55,852 --> 00:12:58,852
- (GRUNTS)
- BEN: You'll thank me later.
343
00:12:58,977 --> 00:13:00,432
(DOOR CLOSES)
344
00:13:00,471 --> 00:13:02,679
What is wrong with you? Are you insane?
345
00:13:02,703 --> 00:13:07,813
Oh. I guess Brian informed you
about our little poetry slam sesh?
346
00:13:07,823 --> 00:13:11,002
My friends told me that you stormed
into his classroom like a lunatic.
347
00:13:11,358 --> 00:13:13,689
- Wait, but he didn't say anything?
- No, of course not,
348
00:13:13,702 --> 00:13:16,346
- because nothing happened.
- Okay, now I'm pissed off.
349
00:13:16,409 --> 00:13:18,601
I feel like I'm back in the
janitor's closet, and everyone's...
350
00:13:18,805 --> 00:13:21,003
Sabrina, I am not lying.
351
00:13:21,270 --> 00:13:24,106
Sabrina, shame on you, okay?
352
00:13:24,140 --> 00:13:25,908
Women need to believe each other.
353
00:13:25,947 --> 00:13:28,621
I know that when I hooked
up with Edward Olmos, Jr...
354
00:13:28,645 --> 00:13:30,953
It's Edward James Olmos.
I... it... it... that doesn't matter.
355
00:13:30,991 --> 00:13:32,649
It didn't happen. Stop saying that.
356
00:13:32,674 --> 00:13:33,907
Well, looked just like him.
357
00:13:33,939 --> 00:13:36,442
So just some old man with
bad skin? My thing happened.
358
00:13:36,454 --> 00:13:38,837
Just stay away from
Brian, okay? He's mine.
359
00:13:38,881 --> 00:13:40,476
(LAUGHING): Oh.
360
00:13:40,501 --> 00:13:42,649
Okay. Okay.
361
00:13:42,692 --> 00:13:44,397
So this guy wants it
to look like I'm crazy.
362
00:13:44,441 --> 00:13:46,938
Sure, no problem. I do a great crazy.
363
00:13:47,297 --> 00:13:49,300
(TIRES SQUEALING)
364
00:13:56,740 --> 00:13:57,949
It's Mickey!
365
00:13:58,074 --> 00:13:59,722
Can we talk for just a sec?
366
00:14:01,648 --> 00:14:03,212
H... hey!
367
00:14:03,246 --> 00:14:06,449
I saw that. Open this door, right now.
368
00:14:06,755 --> 00:14:08,114
(DOOR CLOSING)
369
00:14:08,239 --> 00:14:11,894
(GASPS) Oh, you think
you can hide from me?
370
00:14:11,950 --> 00:14:14,650
Well, I've got news for you: you can't.
371
00:14:14,904 --> 00:14:17,159
And... and one more piece of news:
372
00:14:17,193 --> 00:14:20,552
- I will hunt you down!
- Ma'am, I don't think he's home.
373
00:14:20,590 --> 00:14:22,592
Oh, he's home. He is home.
374
00:14:22,598 --> 00:14:25,712
- I am not crazy!
- I can give him a message for you.
375
00:14:25,712 --> 00:14:28,304
I'll give him a message.
376
00:14:28,337 --> 00:14:30,341
♪ ♪
377
00:14:33,443 --> 00:14:35,212
(TIRES SQUEALING)
378
00:14:46,061 --> 00:14:48,492
There you are, bro. I've been
looking everywhere for you.
379
00:14:48,515 --> 00:14:51,200
Oh, yeah? Well, I've been
in the gym. Getting swole.
380
00:14:51,248 --> 00:14:52,461
- (CHUCKLES)
- We got to roll. Now.
381
00:14:52,493 --> 00:14:53,954
- Where we going?
- Parking lot.
382
00:14:53,993 --> 00:14:56,045
Some dudes from South Greenwich
heard you were talking smack.
383
00:14:56,051 --> 00:14:57,348
They want to fight you.
384
00:14:57,608 --> 00:15:00,206
Th... they want to fight
me? How many are there?
385
00:15:00,250 --> 00:15:02,474
I don't know, like six.
386
00:15:02,599 --> 00:15:04,202
You can handle that, though, right?
387
00:15:04,989 --> 00:15:07,720
Y... yeah. (SCOFFS) T... totally. Six?
388
00:15:07,728 --> 00:15:09,134
Wish there were seven.
389
00:15:09,182 --> 00:15:11,858
I have this thing where I have to
beat people in odd numbers, so...
390
00:15:11,897 --> 00:15:13,502
Let's go.
391
00:15:15,328 --> 00:15:17,297
You wanted to... Ugh.
392
00:15:17,297 --> 00:15:19,339
Uh, Mr. Reed, please have a seat.
393
00:15:19,387 --> 00:15:21,031
(SIGHS)
394
00:15:21,156 --> 00:15:24,883
- Look, I don't know what she told you...
- He said have a seat, Brian.
395
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:30,957
Ms. Molng here has just been
sharing some troubling accusations.
396
00:15:31,082 --> 00:15:34,976
Uh, she claims that you engaged in...
397
00:15:35,468 --> 00:15:37,319
That there was a...
398
00:15:37,740 --> 00:15:40,570
Sex. "Sex" is the word
you're looking for.
399
00:15:40,615 --> 00:15:41,994
Plus all the dirty lead-up stuff.
400
00:15:42,013 --> 00:15:43,912
- He does this thing with your ears. It's...
- Tha... that's...
401
00:15:43,982 --> 00:15:46,873
- I... I don't need details.
- It just goes on for too long.
402
00:15:46,898 --> 00:15:49,618
- That's all I was gonna say.
- Mr. Reed, is this true?
403
00:15:49,743 --> 00:15:54,911
Did you engage in a sexual
relationship with Ms. Molng?
404
00:15:57,312 --> 00:15:58,545
- Yes.
- (GRUNTS)
405
00:15:58,564 --> 00:16:01,194
- I mean, technically it's true.
- Finally.
406
00:16:01,319 --> 00:16:02,853
Finally, he admits it.
407
00:16:02,978 --> 00:16:05,992
- This is so embarrassing.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
408
00:16:06,011 --> 00:16:08,813
Do not do that. I am the one
who is embarrassed, all right?
409
00:16:08,832 --> 00:16:10,097
Ashamed, even.
410
00:16:10,135 --> 00:16:12,816
Obviously, this is a problem, Brian.
411
00:16:12,848 --> 00:16:14,259
Well, I didn't know who she was.
412
00:16:14,310 --> 00:16:16,145
I was at my other
job, she approached me,
413
00:16:16,171 --> 00:16:18,522
we started talking, it just happened.
414
00:16:18,846 --> 00:16:20,948
Wait, you didn't know
she was a Lockwood parent?
415
00:16:20,993 --> 00:16:22,441
No, of course not.
416
00:16:22,918 --> 00:16:25,072
And none of this happened
on school property?
417
00:16:25,097 --> 00:16:27,207
No, she targeted me at work.
418
00:16:27,245 --> 00:16:30,511
Wha... Well, I'm not sure
that any of this is illegal.
419
00:16:30,517 --> 00:16:32,619
Okay, I'll give you that.
That... that... that, technically,
420
00:16:32,626 --> 00:16:34,132
that was all by the book.
421
00:16:34,257 --> 00:16:36,248
But this man is a predator
422
00:16:36,261 --> 00:16:37,455
- Wh... ?
- And also,
423
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:40,193
he will not admit to
Sabrina that we had sex.
424
00:16:40,219 --> 00:16:42,619
Uh, nor should he. I...
I'm on his side there.
425
00:16:42,651 --> 00:16:44,512
You know what? In fact, Brian,
426
00:16:44,570 --> 00:16:45,834
you are free to go.
427
00:16:45,834 --> 00:16:48,141
- Thank you.
- What?! Oh, sure.
428
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:49,900
Yeah, yeah. Course he's free to go.
429
00:16:49,925 --> 00:16:51,565
'Cause this whole
education system is just
430
00:16:51,595 --> 00:16:53,585
- one big boys club, isn't it?
- Well, actually,
431
00:16:53,615 --> 00:16:56,350
76% of teachers in America
are female, so you're...
432
00:16:56,371 --> 00:16:58,673
Oh, thank you for mansplaining
that for me, Gibbons.
433
00:16:58,703 --> 00:17:01,356
Guess what? I will not
be bullied into silence.
434
00:17:01,367 --> 00:17:03,315
You know, uh, speaking of bullying,
435
00:17:03,318 --> 00:17:05,555
we need to have a small chat about Ben.
436
00:17:05,590 --> 00:17:08,045
He has been physically
assaulting students
437
00:17:08,077 --> 00:17:09,753
that he has deemed...
438
00:17:10,424 --> 00:17:12,890
- "losers."
- Doesn't sound like my Ben.
439
00:17:12,956 --> 00:17:15,637
Well, maybe you don't know your
Ben as well as you think you do.
440
00:17:15,693 --> 00:17:18,097
The good news is that he
wants to make it right,
441
00:17:18,112 --> 00:17:21,095
so he has volunteered to
read an anti-bullying poem
442
00:17:21,124 --> 00:17:23,144
in our school's Arts Fest.
443
00:17:23,215 --> 00:17:25,716
Great. Perfect punishment. Poems suck.
444
00:17:25,841 --> 00:17:28,098
- (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
- (BOYS SNICKERING)
445
00:17:29,991 --> 00:17:31,470
'Sup, 48?
446
00:17:31,595 --> 00:17:33,396
Hey, nice belt buckle.
447
00:17:34,203 --> 00:17:35,536
All right, screw this.
448
00:17:35,739 --> 00:17:37,039
(APPLAUSE)
449
00:17:37,072 --> 00:17:38,997
GIBBONS: Thank you, thank you, girls.
450
00:17:39,002 --> 00:17:40,452
Thank you so very much.
451
00:17:40,577 --> 00:17:41,912
(CHUCKLES)
452
00:17:41,944 --> 00:17:45,147
Up next, we have one
of our youngest poets,
453
00:17:45,162 --> 00:17:48,353
Ben Pemberton, who
will be reciting a poem
454
00:17:48,377 --> 00:17:50,728
about the dangers of bullying.
455
00:17:51,253 --> 00:17:53,256
(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
456
00:17:55,516 --> 00:17:58,274
"Black Eyes" by Ben Pemberton.
457
00:17:58,399 --> 00:18:01,368
"Black eyes are cool, black eyes rule,
458
00:18:01,393 --> 00:18:03,795
but black eyes don't
belong at our school.
459
00:18:03,827 --> 00:18:07,238
Black eyes look scary,
but black eyes are fun.
460
00:18:07,289 --> 00:18:09,195
I really wish that I could have one."
461
00:18:09,239 --> 00:18:11,521
Okay, thank you. Thank
you, Ben. Thank you.
462
00:18:11,559 --> 00:18:14,457
For your poem on... on
why black eyes
463
00:18:14,507 --> 00:18:17,494
are bad. Black eyes was the...
464
00:18:17,519 --> 00:18:18,748
(CLEARS THROAT)
465
00:18:18,781 --> 00:18:22,068
Next up, uh, Ben's
older sister, Sabrina.
466
00:18:22,087 --> 00:18:23,271
(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
467
00:18:23,281 --> 00:18:25,536
Thank you for helping
me recognize my gift.
468
00:18:25,880 --> 00:18:27,531
I wrote this for you.
469
00:18:27,991 --> 00:18:29,869
Oh, uh... thank you.
470
00:18:29,882 --> 00:18:31,254
Good luck.
471
00:18:33,696 --> 00:18:35,665
(CLEARS THROAT)
472
00:18:35,699 --> 00:18:38,479
"Baggage" by Sabrina Pemberton.
473
00:18:39,547 --> 00:18:41,078
"I am a handbag.
474
00:18:41,203 --> 00:18:43,473
Empty. Expensive.
475
00:18:43,507 --> 00:18:45,476
Carried places I don't want to go.
476
00:18:45,509 --> 00:18:47,011
But then you came,
477
00:18:47,208 --> 00:18:49,987
and rifled through my
pockets like a gentle thief.
478
00:18:50,629 --> 00:18:53,350
Now I'm ready. Unzip me.
479
00:18:53,383 --> 00:18:56,728
- Place things inside me."
- I had sex with Mr. Reed.
480
00:18:56,756 --> 00:18:58,489
Ah, nah. That's right.
481
00:18:58,521 --> 00:19:01,260
This creep not only teaches girls
how to write terrible poetry,
482
00:19:01,285 --> 00:19:03,815
he also lies to their faces
about sleeping with their aunt.
483
00:19:03,840 --> 00:19:05,619
But I got the receipts.
484
00:19:05,975 --> 00:19:07,830
I will hunt you down!
485
00:19:08,052 --> 00:19:09,863
- WOMAN: I don't think he's home.
- Whoops, hold on. One...
486
00:19:09,863 --> 00:19:11,006
Give me one sec. That's, uh, wrong part.
487
00:19:11,033 --> 00:19:12,684
MICKEY: He is home. I am not crazy!
488
00:19:12,722 --> 00:19:14,608
Well... (CHUCKLES) He was home
489
00:19:14,627 --> 00:19:16,305
throughout this entire
exchange, mind you.
490
00:19:16,338 --> 00:19:17,740
- Okay, the... No, no, they...
- No, no, no, I'm...
491
00:19:17,807 --> 00:19:20,319
- That's good enough. I think...
- Hey, hey, hey! Stop. Hey. Stop.
492
00:19:20,338 --> 00:19:21,946
I'll be done in a
second. Just give me...
493
00:19:21,978 --> 00:19:23,060
You guys just hang in there for one...
494
00:19:23,060 --> 00:19:24,656
It's right here. It's right here.
495
00:19:24,702 --> 00:19:26,691
GIBBONS: Mr. Reed, did you engage
496
00:19:26,704 --> 00:19:29,418
in a sexual relationship with Ms. Molng?
497
00:19:30,658 --> 00:19:31,608
REED: Yes.
498
00:19:31,619 --> 00:19:34,053
- (CROWD GASPS)
- Yes. Yes.
499
00:19:34,816 --> 00:19:37,204
Are you serious? You
actually slept with her?
500
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:40,004
I thought you were just waiting
till I graduated to make a move.
501
00:19:40,195 --> 00:19:41,564
We had something.
502
00:19:41,689 --> 00:19:43,808
I just wanted to teach you some poetry.
503
00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:45,803
- Ugh.
- If there are any other victims,
504
00:19:45,849 --> 00:19:48,070
please come forward and hold hands.
505
00:19:48,104 --> 00:19:50,414
- We are stronger together.
- No...
506
00:19:55,077 --> 00:19:57,080
(SCATTERED GASPS, CHUCKLING)
507
00:20:00,731 --> 00:20:02,048
CHIP: Oh, no, no, no.
508
00:20:02,078 --> 00:20:04,186
I didn't... I didn't
sleep with that guy. No.
509
00:20:04,220 --> 00:20:06,897
The... the handspring
is separate from that.
510
00:20:09,560 --> 00:20:12,063
49? That makes no sense.
511
00:20:12,188 --> 00:20:13,844
Makes perfect sense.
512
00:20:14,266 --> 00:20:16,969
Even Aaron Luber is higher
than me, and he eats bugs.
513
00:20:17,020 --> 00:20:18,566
Okay, how do I explain this to you?
514
00:20:18,642 --> 00:20:20,416
Doing a handspring in the Olympics,
515
00:20:20,416 --> 00:20:22,775
or to escape danger, is cool.
516
00:20:22,808 --> 00:20:26,424
But just doing it out of
nowhere, unannounced? Not cool.
517
00:20:26,478 --> 00:20:28,416
But I stuck the landing perfectly.
518
00:20:28,446 --> 00:20:29,971
Yeah, that's the worst part, man.
519
00:20:29,992 --> 00:20:32,919
Maybe if you'd biffed the landing
and eaten your teeth, it'd be funny.
520
00:20:33,044 --> 00:20:35,286
But instead you did it
with perfect precision?
521
00:20:35,514 --> 00:20:36,663
That's weird.
522
00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:38,289
I don't get it.
523
00:20:38,322 --> 00:20:39,791
Yeah, you probably never will.
524
00:20:40,002 --> 00:20:42,668
Maybe if you write a poem
it will make you cool again.
525
00:20:42,692 --> 00:20:45,271
- I wouldn't recommend it.
- Yeah, poetry's not in our blood.
526
00:20:45,334 --> 00:20:47,766
I see that now. Plus,
there's no real future in it.
527
00:20:47,799 --> 00:20:50,324
- Wha... I thought Mr. Reed said...
- Mr. Reed's an idiot.
528
00:20:50,449 --> 00:20:51,744
His credibility went out the window
529
00:20:51,744 --> 00:20:53,685
the second I realized he
wasn't trying to bang me.
530
00:20:53,726 --> 00:20:54,793
Plus, he resigned.
531
00:20:54,834 --> 00:20:56,964
I'm not gonna take advice
from some coffee jockey.
532
00:20:57,736 --> 00:21:00,155
Boom. Read it and weep.
533
00:21:00,227 --> 00:21:02,229
According to this restraining order,
534
00:21:02,279 --> 00:21:04,790
I can't come within a
thousand yards of Mr. Reed
535
00:21:04,816 --> 00:21:07,951
because of emotional
distress due to, and I quote,
536
00:21:08,020 --> 00:21:11,591
"deeply regrettable
sexual intercourse." Huh?
537
00:21:11,611 --> 00:21:15,126
It's on the record,
okay? So who's crazy now?
538
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:17,101
- (JIMMY CHUCKLES)
- Way to go, Mick.
539
00:21:17,147 --> 00:21:18,503
That's my girl.
540
00:21:19,850 --> 00:21:20,861
Wait, what?
541
00:21:20,986 --> 00:21:22,721
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
542
00:21:22,762 --> 00:21:23,763
SABRINA: Unzip me.