00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
2
00:00:03,100 --> 00:00:04,500
Why don't you move in with me?
3
00:00:05,300 --> 00:00:06,000
What?
4
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,200
Yeah, you and Ava
move in with me.
5
00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,700
I love you,
and I want you in my life,
6
00:00:10,700 --> 00:00:12,400
I want... I want
to have a future with you.
7
00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:15,000
If Ava and I move in...
8
00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,400
isn't somebody going
to have to move out?
9
00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:22,300
Hmm...
10
00:00:25,700 --> 00:00:28,700
Oh yeah, yeah.
That's the ticket.
11
00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:30,400
(farts)
12
00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,700
Yes... out with the bad.
13
00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:37,500
Good Morning.
14
00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:39,300
Morning.
(grunts)
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Hey, I'm glad you're up,
I wanted--whoa...
16
00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,000
Sorry.
17
00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,100
Is that really
a good workout?
18
00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:54,000
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's great for the circulation,
19
00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,000
stretches the spine.
(exhales)
20
00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,500
Your ball is hanging out.
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00:00:59,900 --> 00:01:00,900
Whoopsie-daisy.
22
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:03,400
Back in the barn.
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00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,300
Alright listen, uh...
24
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:07,600
it's spring break this week,
25
00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,900
so Zoey and her daughter
are gonna to stay here.
27
00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:16,900
You know, see what it's like
to live together before we-
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00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:18,500
-decide to do anything permanent.
29
00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:20,400
Oh, that's a good idea.
30
00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,000
Living together is tricky.
31
00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,200
(grunting)
32
00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:24,300
Ball.
33
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Sorry.
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00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:28,700
Of course it's going
to be a little tight
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00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:30,300
with all of us living here.
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00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,700
Yeah.
37
00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:34,700
That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.
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00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:37,500
Oh, don't worry. I'll tell Jake
to go to his mom's.
39
00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:39,000
Good, good.
42
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,400
Oop! Stepped on the duck.
43
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:51,600
Actually, I'm going to need you to, uh,
move out for the week.
44
00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,700
What, wait, the whole week?
45
00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:56,500
Yeah, I mean you and Zoey
don't really gel,
46
00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:58,600
so I just thought
it'd be for the best.
47
00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,700
Oh, that's fine!
48
00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:02,100
but you know
just for the record
49
00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:04,100
I gel with pretty much everybody.
50
00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:07,700
I mean, ask around,
I'm positively gelatinous.
51
00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:10,500
I know. It's her.
52
00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,600
So, the plan is, I come
back after a week?
53
00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,300
Uh, you might want to think of
this as a trial run of your own.
54
00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:18,800
I mean, in case
Zoey and I do decide to
55
00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,900
live together permanently.
56
00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:22,400
Sure...sure, I get it.
57
00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,900
Uh, and uh,
let me just add that
58
00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:26,700
no one is rooting for your
personal happiness
59
00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:28,600
more than I am.
60
00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:29,800
That's good to hear.
61
00:02:30,700 --> 00:02:33,000
Thanks, man.
Oh-no-no-no...
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00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,800
(chuckles)<
Thank you, buddy.
63
00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:42,800
No reason to panic.
(chuckles)
64
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,600
Just got to find
a temporary new home...
65
00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:59,100
...and three new balls.
66
00:02:59,100 --> 00:03:01,400
♪ Men, men, men, men,
manly men, men, men ♪
67
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,600
♪ Ah. ♪
♪ Men. ♪
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00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:07,000
Two and a Half Men 9x21
Mr. Hose Says Yes
Originally Aired: April 16, 2012
69
00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,300
//synced & corrected by\
MakiVano for MY-SUBS.com
70
00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:12,500
♪ Men. ♪
71
00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:17,400
What are you doing?
I'm takin' a break.
72
00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,300
Didn't you just get here?
73
00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:21,600
Yeah...?
74
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,000
Anyway...
75
00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:28,900
I just wanted
to give you a heads up that-
76
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,800
Zoey's gonna to stay here
for the week.
77
00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:31,900
Uh-huh.
78
00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:33,200
And she's bringing her daughter.
79
00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,800
How old?
Seven.
80
00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:37,300
See ya in a week.
81
00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,900
Aw c'mon, Berta.
82
00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:41,100
You'll love her.
She's adorable.
83
00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,700
Maybe to her mother...
84
00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:46,000
and someone who's trying to get
into her mother's pants.
85
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,200
All right, look... it's not gonna be
any extra work for you-
86
00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,300
whatever Zoey doesn't
take care of, I'll handle.
87
00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:51,500
Really?
88
00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:53,900
You're gonna take care
of a seven-year-old?
89
00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,700
Yeah. We get along great.
90
00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,700
And besides,
I gotta learn sometime.
91
00:03:57,700 --> 00:04:00,100
I mean, if Zoey and
I get married...
92
00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:02,500
I'll be Ava's stepdad.
93
00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:06,000
You know, once upon a time,
94
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:09,900
a cute little boy came to live
in this house for a few days.
95
00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:11,300
Maybe you've met him.
96
00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:14,500
He's the pot-soaked
masturbating couch potato
97
00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:17,800
who eats all your cookies.
98
00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,400
Is he the one who
finished off my macaroons?
99
00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:23,400
Your macaroons and my pot.
100
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:27,400
My point being,
fool me once, shame on you.
101
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,000
Fool me twice...
102
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:33,000
I want a fully funded 401K
and a Camaro.
103
00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,100
Oh c'mon, Berta. It's just
gonna be for a week,
104
00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:37,400
and it's just the three of us.
105
00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:38,300
Really?
106
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:42,100
Did Zippy finally
hang himself?
107
00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:44,200
No. He's gonna stay
somewhere else.
108
00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,000
Zoey and I want to see what it's
like to live like a family,
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00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,000
with a housekeeper.
110
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:52,000
Who's got a retirement plan
and a muscle car.
111
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,000
All right, look, Berta, if you
don't want to help me with this,
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00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,500
I will find another housekeeper
113
00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:58,400
who's willing to do very little
work for a very large salary
114
00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,000
in a Malibu beach house.
115
00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:05,200
You're cute,
but you got a mean streak.
116
00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:11,800
All right, here we are.
117
00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:12,800
So what do you think?
118
00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,700
Oh, boy! The ocean!
119
00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:16,100
(chuckles)
Stay on the deck!
120
00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:20,100
Aww, she's so excited, she didn't
sleep at all last night.
121
00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:21,600
Yeah, I'm kind of excited, too.
122
00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,900
Really? I'm terrified.
123
00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:24,800
Why?
124
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,400
Well, because if this little
experiment doesn't work,
125
00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,100
it pretty much means
we're done, doesn't it?
126
00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:33,200
Well now I'm terrified, too.
127
00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,400
Oh, hey! There she is.
128
00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,400
the new queen of the castle,
129
00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,100
uh, milady.
(chuckles)
130
00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:41,500
Hello, Alan.
131
00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:42,700
Thank you so much
for letting my boyfriend
132
00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:45,200
use his own house
for the week.
133
00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,200
-Snidely put.
-Thank you.
134
00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,000
So where are you staying?
135
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,600
Well, I was thinking that
I was going to uh-
136
00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,000
rent a suite at the Bel Air Hotel,
138
00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,700
So, um...
139
00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:58,000
I'm just gonna stay with Lyndsey.
140
00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,800
How wonderful for her.
141
00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,700
(mimics arrow hit)
142
00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:06,800
Alright, I will, uh,
I will see you in a week.
143
00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,100
-See ya.
-In a week.
144
00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,600
-Yeah.
-Say it.
145
00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,900
I'll see ya in a week.
146
00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:15,600
Okay, you two have fun.
147
00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,100
Oh, oh, wait.
What room are you...
148
00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:20,000
planning to put the little girl in?
149
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:20,800
Yours.
150
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,200
Oh! oh...well, then I better
152
00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:27,000
Mostly magazines.
153
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,500
Maybe we should put her
in Jake's room.
154
00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:32,000
That's actually worse.
155
00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:36,400
♪ Men. ♪
156
00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:38,300
You ready for another beer?
157
00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:40,000
Oh aren't you a doll!
158
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,200
(chuckles)
You know...
159
00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,300
Eldridge is with his
father this week.
160
00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:47,100
Ooh and Jake's with his mother.
Mmm.
161
00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:49,500
So, I guess we can
do anything we want.
162
00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:52,400
Yeah, and what do you want,
you dirty girl?
163
00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:56,200
Well, you know what would
make me really happy?
164
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,200
Whatever it is, I'll do it.
165
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,300
The guest toilet is broken.
I want you to fix it.
166
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,500
Uh, are we role-playing?
167
00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:08,900
Am I the...
168
00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:11,800
naughty plumber here to...
169
00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,400
snake your drain?
170
00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:15,900
No.
171
00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:20,300
You're the loving boyfriend
here to fix my toilet.
172
00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,200
Seriously?
173
00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:23,800
Seriously.
174
00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:25,300
Now?
175
00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:26,100
Now!
176
00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:28,500
Alright.
177
00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:32,700
Hey, uh, when you're
done with that,
178
00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:34,700
would you take the patio
furniture out of the garage
179
00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:35,500
and put it in the backyard?
180
00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:36,800
Sure.
181
00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,700
Make sure you wash it first.
182
00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:40,200
You got it!
183
00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:41,300
Yep...
184
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,600
I got it alright.
185
00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,200
♪ Men. ♪
186
00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:52,200
I forgot a few things so
I'm gonna run to the store.
187
00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,600
Oh, you know what, relax.
I'll go for you.
188
00:07:54,900 --> 00:07:56,100
Actually, there's things
I need to buy
189
00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:58,000
that I'd rather
you not know I need.
190
00:07:58,600 --> 00:07:59,800
Say no more.
191
00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:01,300
Put your coat on, Ava.
193
00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:03,800
Ava, come on.
194
00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,200
No, she's fine.I'll watch her.
196
00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:08,900
Yeah, of course.
It's no big deal.
197
00:08:09,700 --> 00:08:10,900
Do you want to
stay here with Walden?
198
00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,200
Yes, please.
199
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:14,400
Okay. See you in about an hour
200
00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,200
-Bye.
-Bye.
201
00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:18,900
(sighs)
202
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:22,700
The sweet, sweet smell
of freedom!
203
00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:26,800
♪ Men. ♪
204
00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,300
Oh!
205
00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,800
Hi.
I'm bored.
206
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,300
I thought you were playing
with your dolls.
207
00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:37,000
I finished.
208
00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,600
What do you wanna do?
209
00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:41,500
Well...
210
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,000
(Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want
to Have Fun" plays)
211
00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,800
♪ I come home
in the morning light ♪
212
00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:05,400
♪ My mother says, "When you
gonna live your life right?" ♪
213
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:08,800
♪ Oh, mother dear,
we're not the fortunate ones ♪
214
00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:12,700
♪ And girls,
they wanna have fun ♪
215
00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:17,500
♪ Oh, girls
just wanna have fun ♪
216
00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:21,600
♪
♪
217
00:09:23,700 --> 00:09:26,600
♪ The phone rings
in the middle of the night ♪
218
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:31,300
♪ My father yells, "Whatcha
gonna do with your life?" ♪
219
00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:35,000
♪ Oh, daddy dear, you know
you're still number one ♪
220
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:38,600
♪ But girls, they wanna have fun ♪
221
00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:41,700
♪ Oh, girls just wanna have ♪
222
00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:45,500
♪ That's all they really want ♪
223
00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:49,200
♪ Some fun ♪
224
00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:52,300
♪ When the working day is done ♪
225
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:56,300
♪ Oh, girls,they wanna have fun ♪
226
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,400
♪ Oh, girls just wanna have... ♪
227
00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,500
(sighs)
There's my good girl.
228
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:02,400
Hi, Mommy.
229
00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,300
(chuckles)
Where's Walden?
230
00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:06,000
Right there.
231
00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:10,100
He said it's his nap time.
232
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,200
♪ Men. ♪
233
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,700
I think I found your problem!
234
00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:20,300
You have got
a blown out fuse!
235
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:21,500
Can you fix it?
236
00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:24,100
I don't see any
spare fuses but, uh,
237
00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:26,000
I do know a little trick.
238
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,000
What's that?
239
00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:29,000
Well, most people
don't know this
240
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,200
but you can use
an ordinary copper penny
241
00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,300
to replace a fuse.
243
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,000
Electricians won't tell ya
cause they wanna charge you--
244
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:42,800
(electrical popping)
245
00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:47,000
(TV playing)
It worked! The TV's back on!
246
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,000
(electrical popping)
247
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,400
(electrical popping)
♪ Men. ♪
248
00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:57,900
♪ Men. ♪
249
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,900
"They were married soon after,
250
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,900
...and lived happily together
for many, many years...
251
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,000
The end."
252
00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,800
Big surprise, huh?
253
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,000
(sotto voice):
Thank God.
254
00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:23,700
It's too dark.
255
00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:27,400
Oh, sorry. Here you go.
256
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,900
That's too bright.
257
00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:35,400
Okay. Uh... how about...
258
00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,400
I turn the bathroom light on
and leave the door open a crack?
259
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,600
Alright
260
00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:42,300
How's that?
261
00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:43,600
Better.
262
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:44,200
Alright.
263
00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:45,700
Good night.
264
00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:47,600
Did you look under the bed?
265
00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,200
No. Why, did you find
some funny magazines?
266
00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,900
You have to check for monsters.
267
00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:55,300
Oh.
268
00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:01,400
Nope, no monsters.
269
00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,200
Okay. Good night.
270
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,900
What about the closet?
271
00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:06,700
What about it?
272
00:12:06,700 --> 00:12:08,800
Monsters.
273
00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,200
I don't want to have nightmares.
274
00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,000
Right.
275
00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,800
It's all clear. (gasps)
276
00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,900
Ughh... great.
277
00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:23,200
Now I'm gonna have nightmares.
278
00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:25,300
Okay, okay, good night.
279
00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,700
I'm thirsty.
280
00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:29,600
You're joking.
281
00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,800
Why would I joke about thirsty?
282
00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,000
Thirsty's not funny.
283
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,500
I'll get you a glass of water.
284
00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:39,500
No, I want fizzy water.
285
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,000
You want a Perrier?
286
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,200
Pellegrino would be fine.
287
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:46,800
Okay.
288
00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:49,700
I'll go see what we have.
289
00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:52,900
How did the story end?
290
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:55,700
Uh... they got married,
291
00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:58,700
and they lived happily together
for many, many years.
292
00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:03,600
...until they had kids.
293
00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:06,500
♪ Men. ♪
294
00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:08,600
How are you feeling?
295
00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:09,500
All right.
296
00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,200
My hand's still a little numb.
297
00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,100
Well, let's see if I can
make it all better.
298
00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,200
Ooh! Ooh!
299
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,400
Make it all better. Daddy like.
300
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:20,300
(clattering downstairs)
301
00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:23,300
Did you hear something?
302
00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:25,600
Nothing but the
rustling in my jammies.
303
00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,700
No!
304
00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:29,900
There's someone downstairs.
305
00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:31,600
No, there isn't. C'mon, make it all better.
306
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,300
(moaning)
Alan!
307
00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,900
There's someone
in the house! Go look.
308
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,000
Really? With a dead hand and
the beginnings of an erection?
309
00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:42,000
Go.
310
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,200
(exasperated sign)
311
00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,100
And thus ends the erection.
312
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,000
(rattling)
313
00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:05,900
(clanging)
314
00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:16,100
Who keeps their weed in the crisper?
315
00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,700
You wanna get crispy, don't you?
316
00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,800
(door hinge creaking)
317
00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:26,500
Ow!
318
00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,300
♪ Men. ♪
319
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:27,900
Good morning.
320
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,900
It's still dark out.
321
00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:41,800
It's breakfast time.
322
00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:44,000
Maybe in London.
323
00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:46,100
What's going on?
324
00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:48,000
She wants breakfast!
325
00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:51,100
Okay.
326
00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,200
Just gimme a minute.
327
00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:56,700
-No, you sleep, I'll get it.
-Right
328
00:14:58,100 --> 00:14:59,800
That's it? No argument?
329
00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,600
Shh...
330
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:07,600
All right.
331
00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,500
What do you want?
332
00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,300
Corn Flakes, Cheerios or...
333
00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,200
Eggs Benedict.
334
00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:15,700
Of course.
335
00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,400
♪ Men. ♪
336
00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:21,500
Watch your step.
337
00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:22,700
Yeah, wouldn't want
to get hurt.
338
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,700
Those pain pills starting
to kick in yet?
339
00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:30,800
Oh, yeah.
340
00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,600
You could spread me on a toast.
341
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:36,700
Okay.
342
00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:37,900
Let's get you into bed.
343
00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:39,000
No, no.
344
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,500
Let's get you into bed.
345
00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:42,200
Seriously?
346
00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:43,800
You want to fool around?
347
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,800
Parts of me do.
348
00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,600
Mr. Nose says, "No,"
349
00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:51,300
but Mr. Hose says (falsetto) "Yes""
350
00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:52,800
Tell you what,
351
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:56,800
why don't you just lie down
and let me take care of you.
352
00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,100
Really?
353
00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:00,500
You took care of me when I thought
there was someone in the house.
354
00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:01,900
Oh, right, right, I did.
355
00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:04,500
I was brave!
356
00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:06,800
Let's just get this belt
and zipper undone.
357
00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,800
Good thing you could breathe
through your nose.
358
00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:11,300
- Ow!
- What?!
359
00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:12,200
Ball snag!
360
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,300
Oh, sorry!
No, no, don't touch it, don't--
361
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:15,000
Oh!
362
00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:22,500
I think I broke Mr. Hose.
363
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,800
♪ Men. ♪
364
00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,400
Hey!
365
00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,100
What?
366
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:38,100
What in the hell
happened here?
367
00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:39,800
I tried to make breakfast
for the kid.
368
00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,500
"Tried"? (scoffs)
369
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,200
Yeah. The eggs were too runny,
370
00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:48,400
so I made oatmeal
that was too dry,
371
00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,900
so I made waffles
that were - and I quote -
372
00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:55,000
(British accent):
"Bloody dreadful."
373
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,400
Where is she now?
374
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,600
I don't know
I don't care.
375
00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:02,900
I can't do this, Berta
It's just... it's too much.
376
00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:04,800
She just never stops!
377
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,700
Yeah, I raised
four daughters.
378
00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:10,900
The only thing that slows them
down is jail and Johnsons.
379
00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,300
I told Zoey
we were gonna be a family.
380
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:16,300
What am I gonna do?
381
00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,500
-Is the kid seven?
-Yeah.
382
00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,000
Wait nine years.
383
00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:22,500
What happens in nine years?
384
00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,500
If you're lucky, she runs away
with a coke-addled bass player.
385
00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:28,800
And if I'm not lucky?
386
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:29,800
A drummer.
387
00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,400
♪ Men. ♪
388
00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:38,900
Hey.
389
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,800
Oh, you're up.
390
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,400
How are you feeling?
391
00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,500
A little better.
392
00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:45,500
I'm glad.
393
00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:47,000
Not looking forward
to ripping the Band-Aid
394
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,700
off my scrotum, but...
395
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,400
we'll cross that bridge
when we get to it.
396
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,200
(groaning)
I'm so, so sorry.
397
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,000
Yeah, just...
398
00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:00,000
FYI, if you'd like to try again,
I'm wearing sweatpants.
399
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,900
No zipper!
400
00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:06,300
I cannot believe
you're still horny.
401
00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:10,200
Me neither,
but there it is.
402
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,100
Well, I do owe you one.
403
00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:14,500
(giggling)
404
00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:15,400
Oh, boy.
405
00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,000
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
406
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,000
(sniffing)
407
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,000
Do you smell that?
408
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:22,600
Oh, don't worry.
409
00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:25,300
That's just the Neosporin.
410
00:18:25,300 --> 00:18:26,500
No.
411
00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,900
It-it smells
like something dead.
412
00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,900
It's not Mr. Hose.
413
00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:34,100
He's very much alive.
414
00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,200
Go ahead. Check.
415
00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,200
I think it's coming
from under the house.
416
00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,800
I'm sorry, I-I really
can't smell anything
417
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,700
'cause of my broken nose...
418
00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:47,000
'cause of what you owe me.
419
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,600
It-it's probably just a raccoon
or a possum.
420
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,700
Hang on one sec.
Let me call the exterminator.
421
00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:54,400
Oh, no, no, no,
that's gonna take too long.
422
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:57,500
I'll ju... I'll just get
a shovel and a garbage bag
423
00:18:57,500 --> 00:19:00,000
and deal with it.
424
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,200
You're that horny?
425
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:04,100
I know, it's starting
to worry me, too.
426
00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,500
(grunting)
427
00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:09,900
LYNDSEY:
You okay down there?
428
00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:12,500
Yeah. Yeah, I think I see it.
429
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:15,300
(grunting)
430
00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:17,400
Looks like a-a dead possum.
431
00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,000
Be careful.
432
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,500
ALAN:
Oh, don't worry about it.
433
00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:22,000
I-I'm just going
to shovel him into my...
434
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,900
(possum snarling)
Not dead! Not dead!
435
00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:27,300
(thrashing sound)
Ow! Ow!
436
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,900
I'm sorry! I'm sorry!
I didn't mean...
437
00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:30,800
Ow! No! Ow!
438
00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,900
Come on!
439
00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:34,300
Oh, that's gonna get infected.
440
00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:35,900
♪ Men. ♪
441
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,100
♪ Men. ♪
442
00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:45,500
Thank you.
443
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,300
Hey.
444
00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,300
Oh, hey.
Thanks for meeting me, man.
445
00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:56,600
Whoa!
446
00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:01,100
What happened to you?
447
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:02,600
Well, let's see, uh...
448
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,300
Electrocuted, got
my nose bashed in,
449
00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,300
and possibly rabies.
450
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,600
How are you?
451
00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,900
I am really tired.
452
00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:23,900
My heart bleeds for you.
453
00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,600
Also my left ball sack.
454
00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:31,200
What's that smell?
455
00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,800
Oh, Neosporin, which
just a hint of possum.
456
00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:40,100
So, uh, how are things going
living with Zoey and her daughter?
457
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:40,900
It's good, it's good.
458
00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:42,900
Oh.
459
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,000
How's living with Lyndsey?
460
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,200
Oh, it's terrific.
461
00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:50,600
That's great.
462
00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:59,000
If I could get rid of them...
Yes! A hundred times yes!
463
00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:03,300
== resynced & corrected by ==
MakiVano for MY-SUBS.com