00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 2 00:00:03,100 --> 00:00:04,500 Why don't you move in with me? 3 00:00:05,300 --> 00:00:06,000 What? 4 00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,200 Yeah, you and Ava move in with me. 5 00:00:08,200 --> 00:00:10,700 I love you, and I want you in my life, 6 00:00:10,700 --> 00:00:12,400 I want... I want to have a future with you. 7 00:00:12,400 --> 00:00:15,000 If Ava and I move in... 8 00:00:15,000 --> 00:00:18,400 isn't somebody going to have to move out? 9 00:00:20,700 --> 00:00:22,300 Hmm... 10 00:00:25,700 --> 00:00:28,700 Oh yeah, yeah. That's the ticket. 11 00:00:29,300 --> 00:00:30,400 (farts) 12 00:00:32,700 --> 00:00:34,700 Yes... out with the bad. 13 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:37,500 Good Morning. 14 00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:39,300 Morning. (grunts) 15 00:00:39,300 --> 00:00:42,900 Hey, I'm glad you're up, I wanted--whoa... 16 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,000 Sorry. 17 00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,100 Is that really a good workout? 18 00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:54,000 Oh, yeah, yeah. It's great for the circulation, 19 00:00:54,000 --> 00:00:57,000 stretches the spine. (exhales) 20 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,500 Your ball is hanging out. 21 00:00:59,900 --> 00:01:00,900 Whoopsie-daisy. 22 00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:03,400 Back in the barn. 23 00:01:04,600 --> 00:01:06,300 Alright listen, uh... 24 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:07,600 it's spring break this week, 25 00:01:07,700 --> 00:01:09,900 so Zoey and her daughter are gonna to stay here. 27 00:01:14,500 --> 00:01:16,900 You know, see what it's like to live together before we- 28 00:01:16,900 --> 00:01:18,500 -decide to do anything permanent. 29 00:01:18,500 --> 00:01:20,400 Oh, that's a good idea. 30 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:22,000 Living together is tricky. 31 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:23,200 (grunting) 32 00:01:23,200 --> 00:01:24,300 Ball. 33 00:01:26,100 --> 00:01:27,400 Sorry. 34 00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:28,700 Of course it's going to be a little tight 35 00:01:28,700 --> 00:01:30,300 with all of us living here. 36 00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,700 Yeah. 37 00:01:32,700 --> 00:01:34,700 That's what I wanted to talk to you about. 38 00:01:34,700 --> 00:01:37,500 Oh, don't worry. I'll tell Jake to go to his mom's. 39 00:01:37,500 --> 00:01:39,000 Good, good. 42 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,400 Oop! Stepped on the duck. 43 00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:51,600 Actually, I'm going to need you to, uh, move out for the week. 44 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,700 What, wait, the whole week? 45 00:01:54,700 --> 00:01:56,500 Yeah, I mean you and Zoey don't really gel, 46 00:01:56,500 --> 00:01:58,600 so I just thought it'd be for the best. 47 00:01:58,600 --> 00:01:59,700 Oh, that's fine! 48 00:01:59,900 --> 00:02:02,100 but you know just for the record 49 00:02:02,100 --> 00:02:04,100 I gel with pretty much everybody. 50 00:02:04,100 --> 00:02:07,700 I mean, ask around, I'm positively gelatinous. 51 00:02:08,100 --> 00:02:10,500 I know. It's her. 52 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:13,600 So, the plan is, I come back after a week? 53 00:02:13,600 --> 00:02:16,300 Uh, you might want to think of this as a trial run of your own. 54 00:02:16,300 --> 00:02:18,800 I mean, in case Zoey and I do decide to 55 00:02:18,800 --> 00:02:20,900 live together permanently. 56 00:02:20,900 --> 00:02:22,400 Sure...sure, I get it. 57 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:24,900 Uh, and uh, let me just add that 58 00:02:24,900 --> 00:02:26,700 no one is rooting for your personal happiness 59 00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:28,600 more than I am. 60 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:29,800 That's good to hear. 61 00:02:30,700 --> 00:02:33,000 Thanks, man. Oh-no-no-no... 62 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,800 (chuckles)< Thank you, buddy. 63 00:02:40,300 --> 00:02:42,800 No reason to panic. (chuckles) 64 00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,600 Just got to find a temporary new home... 65 00:02:56,700 --> 00:02:59,100 ...and three new balls. 66 00:02:59,100 --> 00:03:01,400 ♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men, men, men ♪ 67 00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:03,600 ♪ Ah. ♪ ♪ Men. ♪ 68 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:07,000 Two and a Half Men 9x21 Mr. Hose Says Yes Originally Aired: April 16, 2012 69 00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:10,300 //synced & corrected by\ MakiVano for MY-SUBS.com 70 00:03:10,900 --> 00:03:12,500 ♪ Men. ♪ 71 00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:17,400 What are you doing? I'm takin' a break. 72 00:03:18,600 --> 00:03:20,300 Didn't you just get here? 73 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:21,600 Yeah...? 74 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,000 Anyway... 75 00:03:27,300 --> 00:03:28,900 I just wanted to give you a heads up that- 76 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,800 Zoey's gonna to stay here for the week. 77 00:03:30,800 --> 00:03:31,900 Uh-huh. 78 00:03:31,900 --> 00:03:33,200 And she's bringing her daughter. 79 00:03:33,300 --> 00:03:34,800 How old? Seven. 80 00:03:35,300 --> 00:03:37,300 See ya in a week. 81 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,900 Aw c'mon, Berta. 82 00:03:38,900 --> 00:03:41,100 You'll love her. She's adorable. 83 00:03:41,100 --> 00:03:42,700 Maybe to her mother... 84 00:03:42,700 --> 00:03:46,000 and someone who's trying to get into her mother's pants. 85 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,200 All right, look... it's not gonna be any extra work for you- 86 00:03:48,200 --> 00:03:50,300 whatever Zoey doesn't take care of, I'll handle. 87 00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:51,500 Really? 88 00:03:51,500 --> 00:03:53,900 You're gonna take care of a seven-year-old? 89 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,700 Yeah. We get along great. 90 00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:57,700 And besides, I gotta learn sometime. 91 00:03:57,700 --> 00:04:00,100 I mean, if Zoey and I get married... 92 00:04:00,100 --> 00:04:02,500 I'll be Ava's stepdad. 93 00:04:02,500 --> 00:04:06,000 You know, once upon a time, 94 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:09,900 a cute little boy came to live in this house for a few days. 95 00:04:09,900 --> 00:04:11,300 Maybe you've met him. 96 00:04:11,300 --> 00:04:14,500 He's the pot-soaked masturbating couch potato 97 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:17,800 who eats all your cookies. 98 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,400 Is he the one who finished off my macaroons? 99 00:04:19,400 --> 00:04:23,400 Your macaroons and my pot. 100 00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:27,400 My point being, fool me once, shame on you. 101 00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:29,000 Fool me twice... 102 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:33,000 I want a fully funded 401K and a Camaro. 103 00:04:33,200 --> 00:04:36,100 Oh c'mon, Berta. It's just gonna be for a week, 104 00:04:36,100 --> 00:04:37,400 and it's just the three of us. 105 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:38,300 Really? 106 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:42,100 Did Zippy finally hang himself? 107 00:04:42,100 --> 00:04:44,200 No. He's gonna stay somewhere else. 108 00:04:44,200 --> 00:04:47,000 Zoey and I want to see what it's like to live like a family, 109 00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,000 with a housekeeper. 110 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:52,000 Who's got a retirement plan and a muscle car. 111 00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,000 All right, look, Berta, if you don't want to help me with this, 112 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,500 I will find another housekeeper 113 00:04:55,500 --> 00:04:58,400 who's willing to do very little work for a very large salary 114 00:04:58,400 --> 00:05:00,000 in a Malibu beach house. 115 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:05,200 You're cute, but you got a mean streak. 116 00:05:08,700 --> 00:05:11,800 All right, here we are. 117 00:05:11,800 --> 00:05:12,800 So what do you think? 118 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:14,700 Oh, boy! The ocean! 119 00:05:14,700 --> 00:05:16,100 (chuckles) Stay on the deck! 120 00:05:16,700 --> 00:05:20,100 Aww, she's so excited, she didn't sleep at all last night. 121 00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:21,600 Yeah, I'm kind of excited, too. 122 00:05:21,600 --> 00:05:23,900 Really? I'm terrified. 123 00:05:23,900 --> 00:05:24,800 Why? 124 00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:27,400 Well, because if this little experiment doesn't work, 125 00:05:27,400 --> 00:05:29,100 it pretty much means we're done, doesn't it? 126 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:33,200 Well now I'm terrified, too. 127 00:05:33,200 --> 00:05:35,400 Oh, hey! There she is. 128 00:05:35,400 --> 00:05:37,400 the new queen of the castle, 129 00:05:37,400 --> 00:05:40,100 uh, milady. (chuckles) 130 00:05:40,100 --> 00:05:41,500 Hello, Alan. 131 00:05:41,500 --> 00:05:42,700 Thank you so much for letting my boyfriend 132 00:05:42,700 --> 00:05:45,200 use his own house for the week. 133 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:47,200 -Snidely put. -Thank you. 134 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:48,000 So where are you staying? 135 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:50,600 Well, I was thinking that I was going to uh- 136 00:05:50,600 --> 00:05:52,000 rent a suite at the Bel Air Hotel, 138 00:05:54,800 --> 00:05:56,700 So, um... 139 00:05:56,700 --> 00:05:58,000 I'm just gonna stay with Lyndsey. 140 00:05:58,000 --> 00:06:00,800 How wonderful for her. 141 00:06:00,800 --> 00:06:02,700 (mimics arrow hit) 142 00:06:04,700 --> 00:06:06,800 Alright, I will, uh, I will see you in a week. 143 00:06:07,100 --> 00:06:08,100 -See ya. -In a week. 144 00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:10,600 -Yeah. -Say it. 145 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,900 I'll see ya in a week. 146 00:06:13,900 --> 00:06:15,600 Okay, you two have fun. 147 00:06:16,400 --> 00:06:18,100 Oh, oh, wait. What room are you... 148 00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:20,000 planning to put the little girl in? 149 00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:20,800 Yours. 150 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,200 Oh! oh...well, then I better 152 00:06:26,100 --> 00:06:27,000 Mostly magazines. 153 00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,500 Maybe we should put her in Jake's room. 154 00:06:30,500 --> 00:06:32,000 That's actually worse. 155 00:06:34,700 --> 00:06:36,400 ♪ Men. ♪ 156 00:06:36,500 --> 00:06:38,300 You ready for another beer? 157 00:06:38,300 --> 00:06:40,000 Oh aren't you a doll! 158 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,200 (chuckles) You know... 159 00:06:42,400 --> 00:06:44,300 Eldridge is with his father this week. 160 00:06:44,500 --> 00:06:47,100 Ooh and Jake's with his mother. Mmm. 161 00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:49,500 So, I guess we can do anything we want. 162 00:06:49,500 --> 00:06:52,400 Yeah, and what do you want, you dirty girl? 163 00:06:53,500 --> 00:06:56,200 Well, you know what would make me really happy? 164 00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:58,200 Whatever it is, I'll do it. 165 00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:01,300 The guest toilet is broken. I want you to fix it. 166 00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:06,500 Uh, are we role-playing? 167 00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:08,900 Am I the... 168 00:07:08,900 --> 00:07:11,800 naughty plumber here to... 169 00:07:11,800 --> 00:07:13,400 snake your drain? 170 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:15,900 No. 171 00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:20,300 You're the loving boyfriend here to fix my toilet. 172 00:07:21,400 --> 00:07:22,200 Seriously? 173 00:07:22,700 --> 00:07:23,800 Seriously. 174 00:07:24,300 --> 00:07:25,300 Now? 175 00:07:25,300 --> 00:07:26,100 Now! 176 00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:28,500 Alright. 177 00:07:31,300 --> 00:07:32,700 Hey, uh, when you're done with that, 178 00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:34,700 would you take the patio furniture out of the garage 179 00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:35,500 and put it in the backyard? 180 00:07:36,100 --> 00:07:36,800 Sure. 181 00:07:37,300 --> 00:07:38,700 Make sure you wash it first. 182 00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:40,200 You got it! 183 00:07:40,400 --> 00:07:41,300 Yep... 184 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,600 I got it alright. 185 00:07:47,700 --> 00:07:49,200 ♪ Men. ♪ 186 00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:52,200 I forgot a few things so I'm gonna run to the store. 187 00:07:52,400 --> 00:07:54,600 Oh, you know what, relax. I'll go for you. 188 00:07:54,900 --> 00:07:56,100 Actually, there's things I need to buy 189 00:07:56,100 --> 00:07:58,000 that I'd rather you not know I need. 190 00:07:58,600 --> 00:07:59,800 Say no more. 191 00:08:00,300 --> 00:08:01,300 Put your coat on, Ava. 193 00:08:02,700 --> 00:08:03,800 Ava, come on. 194 00:08:03,800 --> 00:08:06,200 No, she's fine.I'll watch her. 196 00:08:06,900 --> 00:08:08,900 Yeah, of course. It's no big deal. 197 00:08:09,700 --> 00:08:10,900 Do you want to stay here with Walden? 198 00:08:10,900 --> 00:08:12,200 Yes, please. 199 00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:14,400 Okay. See you in about an hour 200 00:08:14,400 --> 00:08:16,200 -Bye. -Bye. 201 00:08:18,100 --> 00:08:18,900 (sighs) 202 00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:22,700 The sweet, sweet smell of freedom! 203 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:26,800 ♪ Men. ♪ 204 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:29,300 Oh! 205 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,800 Hi. I'm bored. 206 00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,300 I thought you were playing with your dolls. 207 00:08:35,500 --> 00:08:37,000 I finished. 208 00:08:38,600 --> 00:08:39,600 What do you wanna do? 209 00:08:40,600 --> 00:08:41,500 Well... 210 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:45,000 (Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want to Have Fun" plays) 211 00:08:57,800 --> 00:09:00,800 ♪ I come home in the morning light ♪ 212 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:05,400 ♪ My mother says, "When you gonna live your life right?" ♪ 213 00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:08,800 ♪ Oh, mother dear, we're not the fortunate ones ♪ 214 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:12,700 ♪ And girls, they wanna have fun ♪ 215 00:09:12,700 --> 00:09:17,500 ♪ Oh, girls just wanna have fun ♪ 216 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:21,600 ♪ ♪ 217 00:09:23,700 --> 00:09:26,600 ♪ The phone rings in the middle of the night ♪ 218 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:31,300 ♪ My father yells, "Whatcha gonna do with your life?" ♪ 219 00:09:31,500 --> 00:09:35,000 ♪ Oh, daddy dear, you know you're still number one ♪ 220 00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:38,600 ♪ But girls, they wanna have fun ♪ 221 00:09:38,600 --> 00:09:41,700 ♪ Oh, girls just wanna have ♪ 222 00:09:41,700 --> 00:09:45,500 ♪ That's all they really want ♪ 223 00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:49,200 ♪ Some fun ♪ 224 00:09:49,200 --> 00:09:52,300 ♪ When the working day is done ♪ 225 00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:56,300 ♪ Oh, girls,they wanna have fun ♪ 226 00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,400 ♪ Oh, girls just wanna have... ♪ 227 00:09:59,400 --> 00:10:01,500 (sighs) There's my good girl. 228 00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:02,400 Hi, Mommy. 229 00:10:02,400 --> 00:10:04,300 (chuckles) Where's Walden? 230 00:10:04,300 --> 00:10:06,000 Right there. 231 00:10:08,100 --> 00:10:10,100 He said it's his nap time. 232 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:14,200 ♪ Men. ♪ 233 00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:17,700 I think I found your problem! 234 00:10:18,100 --> 00:10:20,300 You have got a blown out fuse! 235 00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:21,500 Can you fix it? 236 00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:24,100 I don't see any spare fuses but, uh, 237 00:10:24,100 --> 00:10:26,000 I do know a little trick. 238 00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,000 What's that? 239 00:10:27,500 --> 00:10:29,000 Well, most people don't know this 240 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,200 but you can use an ordinary copper penny 241 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,300 to replace a fuse. 243 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,000 Electricians won't tell ya cause they wanna charge you-- 244 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:42,800 (electrical popping) 245 00:10:43,700 --> 00:10:47,000 (TV playing) It worked! The TV's back on! 246 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,000 (electrical popping) 247 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,400 (electrical popping)Men. ♪ 248 00:10:56,200 --> 00:10:57,900 ♪ Men. ♪ 249 00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,900 "They were married soon after, 250 00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,900 ...and lived happily together for many, many years... 251 00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:05,000 The end." 252 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,800 Big surprise, huh? 253 00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:14,000 (sotto voice): Thank God. 254 00:11:22,100 --> 00:11:23,700 It's too dark. 255 00:11:25,100 --> 00:11:27,400 Oh, sorry. Here you go. 256 00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,900 That's too bright. 257 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:35,400 Okay. Uh... how about... 258 00:11:35,400 --> 00:11:38,400 I turn the bathroom light on and leave the door open a crack? 259 00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:39,600 Alright 260 00:11:41,300 --> 00:11:42,300 How's that? 261 00:11:42,300 --> 00:11:43,600 Better. 262 00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:44,200 Alright. 263 00:11:44,600 --> 00:11:45,700 Good night. 264 00:11:45,700 --> 00:11:47,600 Did you look under the bed? 265 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:50,200 No. Why, did you find some funny magazines? 266 00:11:51,600 --> 00:11:53,900 You have to check for monsters. 267 00:11:54,300 --> 00:11:55,300 Oh. 268 00:11:59,300 --> 00:12:01,400 Nope, no monsters. 269 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,200 Okay. Good night. 270 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,900 What about the closet? 271 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:06,700 What about it? 272 00:12:06,700 --> 00:12:08,800 Monsters. 273 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,200 I don't want to have nightmares. 274 00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:13,000 Right. 275 00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:16,800 It's all clear. (gasps) 276 00:12:18,800 --> 00:12:20,900 Ughh... great. 277 00:12:20,900 --> 00:12:23,200 Now I'm gonna have nightmares. 278 00:12:23,300 --> 00:12:25,300 Okay, okay, good night. 279 00:12:25,300 --> 00:12:26,700 I'm thirsty. 280 00:12:28,800 --> 00:12:29,600 You're joking. 281 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:31,800 Why would I joke about thirsty? 282 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,000 Thirsty's not funny. 283 00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,500 I'll get you a glass of water. 284 00:12:37,500 --> 00:12:39,500 No, I want fizzy water. 285 00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,000 You want a Perrier? 286 00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:46,200 Pellegrino would be fine. 287 00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:46,800 Okay. 288 00:12:48,600 --> 00:12:49,700 I'll go see what we have. 289 00:12:51,500 --> 00:12:52,900 How did the story end? 290 00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:55,700 Uh... they got married, 291 00:12:55,700 --> 00:12:58,700 and they lived happily together for many, many years. 292 00:13:01,500 --> 00:13:03,600 ...until they had kids. 293 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:06,500 ♪ Men. ♪ 294 00:13:07,100 --> 00:13:08,600 How are you feeling? 295 00:13:08,600 --> 00:13:09,500 All right. 296 00:13:09,500 --> 00:13:11,200 My hand's still a little numb. 297 00:13:12,400 --> 00:13:15,100 Well, let's see if I can make it all better. 298 00:13:15,800 --> 00:13:17,200 Ooh! Ooh! 299 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:19,400 Make it all better. Daddy like. 300 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:20,300 (clattering downstairs) 301 00:13:22,100 --> 00:13:23,300 Did you hear something? 302 00:13:23,300 --> 00:13:25,600 Nothing but the rustling in my jammies. 303 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:28,700 No! 304 00:13:28,700 --> 00:13:29,900 There's someone downstairs. 305 00:13:29,900 --> 00:13:31,600 No, there isn't. C'mon, make it all better. 306 00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,300 (moaning) Alan! 307 00:13:33,600 --> 00:13:35,900 There's someone in the house! Go look. 308 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:39,000 Really? With a dead hand and the beginnings of an erection? 309 00:13:40,700 --> 00:13:42,000 Go. 310 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,200 (exasperated sign) 311 00:13:46,400 --> 00:13:48,100 And thus ends the erection. 312 00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:01,000 (rattling) 313 00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:05,900 (clanging) 314 00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:16,100 Who keeps their weed in the crisper? 315 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:18,700 You wanna get crispy, don't you? 316 00:14:21,600 --> 00:14:23,800 (door hinge creaking) 317 00:14:24,700 --> 00:14:26,500 Ow! 318 00:14:26,600 --> 00:14:28,300 ♪ Men. ♪ 319 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:27,900 Good morning. 320 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,900 It's still dark out. 321 00:14:39,900 --> 00:14:41,800 It's breakfast time. 322 00:14:41,800 --> 00:14:44,000 Maybe in London. 323 00:14:44,700 --> 00:14:46,100 What's going on? 324 00:14:46,100 --> 00:14:48,000 She wants breakfast! 325 00:14:50,100 --> 00:14:51,100 Okay. 326 00:14:51,600 --> 00:14:53,200 Just gimme a minute. 327 00:14:53,200 --> 00:14:56,700 -No, you sleep, I'll get it. -Right 328 00:14:58,100 --> 00:14:59,800 That's it? No argument? 329 00:14:59,800 --> 00:15:01,600 Shh... 330 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:07,600 All right. 331 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:09,500 What do you want? 332 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:12,300 Corn Flakes, Cheerios or... 333 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,200 Eggs Benedict. 334 00:15:14,700 --> 00:15:15,700 Of course. 335 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,400 ♪ Men. ♪ 336 00:15:20,100 --> 00:15:21,500 Watch your step. 337 00:15:21,500 --> 00:15:22,700 Yeah, wouldn't want to get hurt. 338 00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,700 Those pain pills starting to kick in yet? 339 00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:30,800 Oh, yeah. 340 00:15:30,800 --> 00:15:33,600 You could spread me on a toast. 341 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:36,700 Okay. 342 00:15:36,700 --> 00:15:37,900 Let's get you into bed. 343 00:15:37,900 --> 00:15:39,000 No, no. 344 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,500 Let's get you into bed. 345 00:15:41,500 --> 00:15:42,200 Seriously? 346 00:15:42,200 --> 00:15:43,800 You want to fool around? 347 00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,800 Parts of me do. 348 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,600 Mr. Nose says, "No," 349 00:15:47,600 --> 00:15:51,300 but Mr. Hose says (falsetto) "Yes"" 350 00:15:51,300 --> 00:15:52,800 Tell you what, 351 00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:56,800 why don't you just lie down and let me take care of you. 352 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:58,100 Really? 353 00:15:58,100 --> 00:16:00,500 You took care of me when I thought there was someone in the house. 354 00:16:00,500 --> 00:16:01,900 Oh, right, right, I did. 355 00:16:01,900 --> 00:16:04,500 I was brave! 356 00:16:04,500 --> 00:16:06,800 Let's just get this belt and zipper undone. 357 00:16:06,800 --> 00:16:09,800 Good thing you could breathe through your nose. 358 00:16:10,100 --> 00:16:11,300 - Ow! - What?! 359 00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:12,200 Ball snag! 360 00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,300 Oh, sorry! No, no, don't touch it, don't-- 361 00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:15,000 Oh! 362 00:16:18,700 --> 00:16:22,500 I think I broke Mr. Hose. 363 00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:24,800 ♪ Men. ♪ 364 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:34,400 Hey! 365 00:16:34,400 --> 00:16:36,100 What? 366 00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:38,100 What in the hell happened here? 367 00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:39,800 I tried to make breakfast for the kid. 368 00:16:39,800 --> 00:16:41,500 "Tried"? (scoffs) 369 00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:44,200 Yeah. The eggs were too runny, 370 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:48,400 so I made oatmeal that was too dry, 371 00:16:48,400 --> 00:16:51,900 so I made waffles that were - and I quote - 372 00:16:51,900 --> 00:16:55,000 (British accent): "Bloody dreadful." 373 00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,400 Where is she now? 374 00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,600 I don't know I don't care. 375 00:16:59,900 --> 00:17:02,900 I can't do this, Berta It's just... it's too much. 376 00:17:02,900 --> 00:17:04,800 She just never stops! 377 00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:07,700 Yeah, I raised four daughters. 378 00:17:07,700 --> 00:17:10,900 The only thing that slows them down is jail and Johnsons. 379 00:17:13,500 --> 00:17:15,300 I told Zoey we were gonna be a family. 380 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:16,300 What am I gonna do? 381 00:17:16,800 --> 00:17:18,500 -Is the kid seven? -Yeah. 382 00:17:18,600 --> 00:17:20,000 Wait nine years. 383 00:17:21,300 --> 00:17:22,500 What happens in nine years? 384 00:17:22,500 --> 00:17:25,500 If you're lucky, she runs away with a coke-addled bass player. 385 00:17:27,100 --> 00:17:28,800 And if I'm not lucky? 386 00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:29,800 A drummer. 387 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:34,400 ♪ Men. ♪ 388 00:17:37,900 --> 00:17:38,900 Hey. 389 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,800 Oh, you're up. 390 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,400 How are you feeling? 391 00:17:43,400 --> 00:17:44,500 A little better. 392 00:17:44,500 --> 00:17:45,500 I'm glad. 393 00:17:45,500 --> 00:17:47,000 Not looking forward to ripping the Band-Aid 394 00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,700 off my scrotum, but... 395 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,400 we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. 396 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:55,200 (groaning) I'm so, so sorry. 397 00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:56,000 Yeah, just... 398 00:17:56,000 --> 00:18:00,000 FYI, if you'd like to try again, I'm wearing sweatpants. 399 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,900 No zipper! 400 00:18:03,900 --> 00:18:06,300 I cannot believe you're still horny. 401 00:18:06,300 --> 00:18:10,200 Me neither, but there it is. 402 00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,100 Well, I do owe you one. 403 00:18:13,100 --> 00:18:14,500 (giggling) 404 00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:15,400 Oh, boy. 405 00:18:15,400 --> 00:18:18,000 Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy. 406 00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,000 (sniffing) 407 00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,000 Do you smell that? 408 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:22,600 Oh, don't worry. 409 00:18:22,600 --> 00:18:25,300 That's just the Neosporin. 410 00:18:25,300 --> 00:18:26,500 No. 411 00:18:26,500 --> 00:18:28,900 It-it smells like something dead. 412 00:18:28,900 --> 00:18:30,900 It's not Mr. Hose. 413 00:18:32,100 --> 00:18:34,100 He's very much alive. 414 00:18:35,200 --> 00:18:37,200 Go ahead. Check. 415 00:18:37,800 --> 00:18:40,200 I think it's coming from under the house. 416 00:18:40,200 --> 00:18:42,800 I'm sorry, I-I really can't smell anything 417 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:44,700 'cause of my broken nose... 418 00:18:44,700 --> 00:18:47,000 'cause of what you owe me. 419 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,600 It-it's probably just a raccoon or a possum. 420 00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,700 Hang on one sec. Let me call the exterminator. 421 00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:54,400 Oh, no, no, no, that's gonna take too long. 422 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:57,500 I'll ju... I'll just get a shovel and a garbage bag 423 00:18:57,500 --> 00:19:00,000 and deal with it. 424 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,200 You're that horny? 425 00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:04,100 I know, it's starting to worry me, too. 426 00:19:06,800 --> 00:19:08,500 (grunting) 427 00:19:08,500 --> 00:19:09,900 LYNDSEY: You okay down there? 428 00:19:09,900 --> 00:19:12,500 Yeah. Yeah, I think I see it. 429 00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:15,300 (grunting) 430 00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:17,400 Looks like a-a dead possum. 431 00:19:17,400 --> 00:19:19,000 Be careful. 432 00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,500 ALAN: Oh, don't worry about it. 433 00:19:20,500 --> 00:19:22,000 I-I'm just going to shovel him into my... 434 00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,900 (possum snarling) Not dead! Not dead! 435 00:19:25,900 --> 00:19:27,300 (thrashing sound) Ow! Ow! 436 00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:28,900 I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I didn't mean... 437 00:19:28,900 --> 00:19:30,800 Ow! No! Ow! 438 00:19:30,800 --> 00:19:32,900 Come on! 439 00:19:32,900 --> 00:19:34,300 Oh, that's gonna get infected. 440 00:19:34,400 --> 00:19:35,900 ♪ Men. ♪ 441 00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:43,100 ♪ Men. ♪ 442 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:45,500 Thank you. 443 00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:53,300 Hey. 444 00:19:53,800 --> 00:19:55,300 Oh, hey. Thanks for meeting me, man. 445 00:19:55,300 --> 00:19:56,600 Whoa! 446 00:19:58,900 --> 00:20:01,100 What happened to you? 447 00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:02,600 Well, let's see, uh... 448 00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,300 Electrocuted, got my nose bashed in, 449 00:20:05,300 --> 00:20:07,300 and possibly rabies. 450 00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,600 How are you? 451 00:20:19,600 --> 00:20:21,900 I am really tired. 452 00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:23,900 My heart bleeds for you. 453 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,600 Also my left ball sack. 454 00:20:29,100 --> 00:20:31,200 What's that smell? 455 00:20:31,200 --> 00:20:33,800 Oh, Neosporin, which just a hint of possum. 456 00:20:36,900 --> 00:20:40,100 So, uh, how are things going living with Zoey and her daughter? 457 00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:40,900 It's good, it's good. 458 00:20:40,900 --> 00:20:42,900 Oh. 459 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,000 How's living with Lyndsey? 460 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,200 Oh, it's terrific. 461 00:20:49,600 --> 00:20:50,600 That's great. 462 00:20:55,000 --> 00:20:59,000 If I could get rid of them... Yes! A hundred times yes! 463 00:20:59,300 --> 00:21:03,300 == resynced & corrected by == MakiVano for MY-SUBS.com