00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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Previously on:
2
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Why don't you move in with me?
3
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What?
4
00:00:06,489 --> 00:00:08,206
Yeah, you and Ava
move in with me.
5
00:00:08,231 --> 00:00:10,665
I love you,
and I want you in my life,
6
00:00:10,690 --> 00:00:12,342
I want... I want
to have a future with you.
7
00:00:12,367 --> 00:00:14,945
If Ava and I move in,
8
00:00:14,970 --> 00:00:18,431
isn't somebody going
to have to move out?
9
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Hmm.
10
00:00:25,660 --> 00:00:28,744
Oh, yeah, yeah.
That's the ticket.
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Yes. Out with the bad.
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Morning.
13
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Morning.
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Hey, I'm glad you're up.
15
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I wanted...
16
00:00:41,459 --> 00:00:43,642
Oh, whoa.
17
00:00:43,644 --> 00:00:46,011
Sorry.
18
00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:52,134
Is that really
a good workout?
19
00:00:52,136 --> 00:00:54,520
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's great for the circulation,
20
00:00:54,522 --> 00:00:56,972
stretches the spine.
21
00:00:56,974 --> 00:00:58,991
Your ball is hanging out.
22
00:00:58,993 --> 00:01:00,776
Oopsie-daisy.
23
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Back in the barn.
24
00:01:03,614 --> 00:01:06,315
Wha... All right, listen, uh,
25
00:01:06,317 --> 00:01:09,285
it's spring break this week,
so Zoey and her daughter
26
00:01:09,287 --> 00:01:11,487
are going to stay here.
Oh, that's nice.
27
00:01:11,489 --> 00:01:14,490
Yeah, it's kind of like
a... trial run.
28
00:01:14,492 --> 00:01:16,509
You know, see what it's like
to live together
29
00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:19,011
before we decide
to do anything permanent.
30
00:01:19,013 --> 00:01:20,429
Oh, that's a good idea.
31
00:01:20,431 --> 00:01:21,964
Living together is tricky.
32
00:01:23,167 --> 00:01:26,135
Ball.
33
00:01:26,137 --> 00:01:27,937
Sorry.
34
00:01:27,939 --> 00:01:29,188
Of course it's going
to be a little tight
35
00:01:29,190 --> 00:01:31,006
with all of us living here.
36
00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,674
Yeah.
37
00:01:32,676 --> 00:01:34,727
That's what I wanted
to talk to you about.
38
00:01:34,729 --> 00:01:37,530
Oh, don't worry. I'll tell Jake
to go to his mom's.
39
00:01:37,532 --> 00:01:39,014
Good, good.
40
00:01:39,016 --> 00:01:41,317
And I'll make myself scarce.
You won't even know I'm here.
41
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:47,856
Oop.
Stepped on a duck.
44
00:01:53,047 --> 00:01:54,696
What, wait, the whole week?
45
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,499
Yeah, you and Zoey
don't really gel,
46
00:01:56,501 --> 00:01:58,384
so, I just thought
it'd be for the best.
47
00:01:58,386 --> 00:02:00,970
Oh, oh, that's fine.
Uh, but, uh, you know,
48
00:02:00,972 --> 00:02:04,139
just for the record, I gel
with pretty much everybody.
49
00:02:04,141 --> 00:02:08,010
I mean, ask around,
I'm positively gelatinous.
50
00:02:08,012 --> 00:02:10,679
I know, it's her.
51
00:02:12,015 --> 00:02:13,599
So, the plan is, I come
back after a week?
52
00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:16,735
Uh, you might want to think of
this as a trial run of your own.
53
00:02:16,737 --> 00:02:18,821
I mean, in case
Zoey and I do decide to
54
00:02:18,823 --> 00:02:20,222
live together permanently.
55
00:02:20,224 --> 00:02:22,408
Sure, sure, I get it.
56
00:02:22,410 --> 00:02:24,893
Uh, and, uh,
let me just add that
57
00:02:24,895 --> 00:02:26,662
no one is rooting for your
personal happiness
58
00:02:26,664 --> 00:02:28,113
more than I am.
59
00:02:28,115 --> 00:02:29,765
That's good to hear.
60
00:02:30,700 --> 00:02:32,952
Thanks, man.
Oh, no, no, no.
61
00:02:32,954 --> 00:02:36,255
Thank you, buddy.
62
00:02:40,343 --> 00:02:42,845
No reason to panic.
63
00:02:42,847 --> 00:02:45,581
Just got to find
a temporary new home...
64
00:02:56,660 --> 00:02:59,111
...and three new balls.
65
00:02:59,113 --> 00:03:01,430
♪ Men, men, men, men,
manly men, men, men ♪
66
00:03:01,432 --> 00:03:03,540
♪ Ah. ♪
♪ Men. ♪
67
00:03:03,565 --> 00:03:07,565
♪ Two and a Half Men 9x21 ♪
Mr. Hose Says Yes
Original Air Date on April 16, 2012
68
00:03:07,590 --> 00:03:11,590
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
69
00:03:15,459 --> 00:03:18,128
What are you doing?
I'm taking a break.
70
00:03:18,130 --> 00:03:20,597
Didn't you just get here?
71
00:03:20,599 --> 00:03:22,415
Yeah.
72
00:03:24,118 --> 00:03:26,019
Anyway,
73
00:03:26,021 --> 00:03:29,072
I just wanted
to give you a heads up
74
00:03:29,074 --> 00:03:30,940
that Zoey's going to stay here
for the week.
75
00:03:30,942 --> 00:03:33,326
Uh-huh.
And she's bringing her daughter.
76
00:03:33,328 --> 00:03:35,195
How old?
Seven.
77
00:03:35,197 --> 00:03:36,696
See ya in a week.
78
00:03:36,698 --> 00:03:39,032
Oh, come on, Berta.
79
00:03:39,034 --> 00:03:41,317
You'll love her.
She's adorable.
80
00:03:41,319 --> 00:03:43,086
Maybe to her mother,
81
00:03:43,088 --> 00:03:45,622
and someone who's trying to get
into her mother's pants.
82
00:03:45,624 --> 00:03:48,675
All right, look, it's not going
to be any extra work for you.
83
00:03:48,677 --> 00:03:50,660
What ever Zoey doesn't
take care of, I'll handle.
84
00:03:50,662 --> 00:03:51,995
Really?
85
00:03:51,997 --> 00:03:54,047
You're going to take care
of a seven-year-old?
86
00:03:54,049 --> 00:03:55,849
Yeah.
We get a long great.
87
00:03:55,851 --> 00:03:57,851
And besides,
I got to learn sometime.
88
00:03:57,853 --> 00:04:01,971
I mean, if Zoey and I get
married, I'll be Ava's stepdad.
89
00:04:01,973 --> 00:04:06,142
You know, once upon a time,
90
00:04:06,144 --> 00:04:10,030
a cute little boy came to live
in this house for a few days.
91
00:04:10,032 --> 00:04:11,514
Maybe you've met him.
92
00:04:11,516 --> 00:04:14,651
He's the pot-soaked
masturbating couch potato
93
00:04:14,653 --> 00:04:17,520
who eats all your cookies.
94
00:04:17,522 --> 00:04:19,873
Is he the one who
finished off my macaroons?
95
00:04:19,875 --> 00:04:22,191
Your macaroons and my pot.
96
00:04:23,544 --> 00:04:27,831
My point being,
fool me once, shame on you.
97
00:04:27,833 --> 00:04:33,035
Fool me twice, I want a fully
funded 401k and a Camaro.
98
00:04:33,037 --> 00:04:36,256
Come on, Berta, it's just
going to be for a week,
99
00:04:36,258 --> 00:04:37,590
and it's just
the three of us.
100
00:04:37,592 --> 00:04:41,478
Really? Did Zippy
finally hang himself?
101
00:04:41,480 --> 00:04:43,346
No.
102
00:04:43,348 --> 00:04:44,881
He's going to
stay somewhere else.
103
00:04:44,883 --> 00:04:47,100
Zoey and I want to see what it's
like to live like a family,
104
00:04:47,102 --> 00:04:48,351
with a housekeeper.
105
00:04:48,353 --> 00:04:51,738
Who's got a retirement plan
and a muscle car.
106
00:04:51,740 --> 00:04:54,441
All right, look, Berta, if you
don't want to help me with this,
107
00:04:54,443 --> 00:04:55,992
I will find another housekeeper
108
00:04:55,994 --> 00:04:58,862
who's willing to do very little
work for a very large salary
109
00:04:58,864 --> 00:05:00,563
in a Malibu beach house.
110
00:05:00,565 --> 00:05:05,085
You're cute,
but you got a mean streak.
111
00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:11,925
All right, here we are.
112
00:05:11,927 --> 00:05:13,093
What do you think?
113
00:05:13,095 --> 00:05:14,878
Oh, boy, the ocean!
114
00:05:14,880 --> 00:05:16,830
Stay on the deck!
115
00:05:16,832 --> 00:05:20,350
Oh, she's so excited, she didn't
sleep at all last night.
116
00:05:20,352 --> 00:05:21,768
Yeah, I'm kind of excited, too.
117
00:05:21,770 --> 00:05:24,938
Really? I'm terrified.
Why?
118
00:05:24,940 --> 00:05:27,524
Well, because if this little
experiment doesn't work,
119
00:05:27,526 --> 00:05:29,425
it pretty much means
we're done, doesn't it?
120
00:05:29,427 --> 00:05:33,363
Wow, now I'm terrified, too.
121
00:05:33,365 --> 00:05:35,615
Oh, hey, there she is,
122
00:05:35,617 --> 00:05:37,567
the new queen of the castle,
123
00:05:37,569 --> 00:05:40,236
uh, milady.
124
00:05:40,238 --> 00:05:41,654
Hello, Alan.
125
00:05:41,656 --> 00:05:43,272
Thank you so much
for letting my boyfriend
126
00:05:43,274 --> 00:05:44,824
use his own house
for the week.
127
00:05:44,826 --> 00:05:46,209
Snidely put.
128
00:05:46,211 --> 00:05:48,161
Thank you.
So, where are you staying?
129
00:05:48,163 --> 00:05:51,381
Uh, well, I was thinking that
I was going to rent a suite
130
00:05:51,383 --> 00:05:53,466
at the Bel Air Hotel,
uh, but then I realized
131
00:05:53,468 --> 00:05:54,951
that cost money
and I have none.
132
00:05:54,953 --> 00:05:58,138
So, um, I'm just going
to stay with Lyndsey.
133
00:05:58,140 --> 00:06:00,974
How wonderful for her.
134
00:06:03,094 --> 00:06:04,894
So, um,
135
00:06:04,896 --> 00:06:07,296
all right, I will, uh,
I will see you in a week.
136
00:06:07,298 --> 00:06:08,848
See ya.
In a week.
137
00:06:08,850 --> 00:06:11,351
Yeah.
Say it.
138
00:06:11,353 --> 00:06:13,319
I'll see ya in a week.
139
00:06:13,321 --> 00:06:15,421
Okay, you two have fun.
140
00:06:15,423 --> 00:06:16,656
All right.
141
00:06:16,658 --> 00:06:18,858
Oh, oh, wait.
What room are you planning
142
00:06:18,860 --> 00:06:20,944
to put the little girl in?
Yours.
143
00:06:20,946 --> 00:06:23,446
Oh, oh, well, then I better
144
00:06:23,448 --> 00:06:24,781
get a few things out of there.
145
00:06:26,284 --> 00:06:27,750
Mostly magazines.
146
00:06:29,203 --> 00:06:30,653
Maybe we should put her
in Jake's room.
147
00:06:30,655 --> 00:06:32,822
No, that's actually worse.
148
00:06:33,958 --> 00:06:36,876
♪ Men. ♪
149
00:06:36,878 --> 00:06:38,494
You ready for another beer?
150
00:06:38,496 --> 00:06:40,213
Oh, aren't you a doll.
151
00:06:40,215 --> 00:06:42,799
You know...
152
00:06:42,801 --> 00:06:44,717
Eldridge is with his
father this week.
153
00:06:44,719 --> 00:06:46,836
Whoo, and Jake's with his mother.
Mmm.
154
00:06:46,838 --> 00:06:49,672
So, I guess we can
do anything we want.
155
00:06:49,674 --> 00:06:53,175
Yeah, and what do you want,
you dirty girl?
156
00:06:53,177 --> 00:06:56,396
Well, you know what would
make me really happy?
157
00:06:56,398 --> 00:06:58,347
Whatever it is,
I'll do it.
158
00:06:58,349 --> 00:07:02,035
The guest toilet is broken.
I want you to fix it.
159
00:07:04,405 --> 00:07:07,257
Uh, are we role-playing?
160
00:07:08,108 --> 00:07:10,410
Am I the naughty plumber
161
00:07:10,412 --> 00:07:14,130
here to snake your drain?
162
00:07:14,132 --> 00:07:16,633
No.
163
00:07:16,635 --> 00:07:20,853
You're the loving boyfriend
here to fix my toilet.
164
00:07:20,855 --> 00:07:22,522
Seriously?
165
00:07:22,524 --> 00:07:24,490
Seriously.
166
00:07:24,492 --> 00:07:26,893
Now?
Now.
167
00:07:26,895 --> 00:07:29,312
All right.
168
00:07:31,181 --> 00:07:32,682
Hey, uh, when you're
done with that,
169
00:07:32,684 --> 00:07:34,767
would you take the patio
furniture out of the garage
170
00:07:34,769 --> 00:07:36,236
and put it in the backyard?
171
00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:37,520
Sure.
172
00:07:37,522 --> 00:07:39,489
Make sure you wash it first.
173
00:07:39,491 --> 00:07:41,223
You got it.
174
00:07:41,225 --> 00:07:44,393
Yep, I got it, all right.
175
00:07:50,117 --> 00:07:52,568
I forgot a few things.
I'm going to run to the store.
176
00:07:52,570 --> 00:07:55,038
Oh, you know, relax.
I'll go for you.
177
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:56,572
Actually, there's things
I need to buy
178
00:07:56,574 --> 00:07:58,741
that I'd rather
you not know I need.
179
00:07:58,743 --> 00:08:00,543
Say no more.
180
00:08:00,545 --> 00:08:03,012
Put your coat on, Ava.
I don't want to go-- I'm playing.
181
00:08:03,014 --> 00:08:05,081
Ava, come on.
No, she's fine.
182
00:08:05,083 --> 00:08:07,350
I'll watch her.
You sure?
183
00:08:07,352 --> 00:08:09,519
Yeah, of course.
It's no big deal.
184
00:08:09,521 --> 00:08:11,137
Do you want to
stay here with Walden?
185
00:08:11,139 --> 00:08:12,472
Yes, please.
186
00:08:12,474 --> 00:08:14,757
Okay. See you in about an hour
187
00:08:14,759 --> 00:08:16,993
Bye.
Bye.
188
00:08:19,698 --> 00:08:23,566
The sweet, sweet smell
of freedom.
189
00:08:28,439 --> 00:08:30,606
Oh.
190
00:08:30,608 --> 00:08:33,559
Hi.
I'm bored.
191
00:08:33,561 --> 00:08:35,712
I thought you were playing
with your dolls.
192
00:08:35,714 --> 00:08:37,797
I finished.
193
00:08:37,799 --> 00:08:39,999
What do you want to do?
194
00:08:40,001 --> 00:08:42,218
Well...
195
00:08:42,220 --> 00:08:45,104
(Cyndi Lauper's "Girls Just Want
to Have Fun" plays)
196
00:08:57,685 --> 00:09:00,286
♪ I come home
in the morning light ♪
197
00:09:00,288 --> 00:09:05,858
♪ My mother says, "When you
gonna live your life right?" ♪
198
00:09:05,860 --> 00:09:09,445
♪ Oh, mother dear,
we're not the fortunate ones ♪
199
00:09:09,447 --> 00:09:12,782
♪ And girls,
they want to have fun ♪
200
00:09:12,784 --> 00:09:17,704
♪ Oh, girls
just want to have fun ♪
201
00:09:22,643 --> 00:09:23,960
♪ ♪
202
00:09:23,962 --> 00:09:27,046
♪ The phone rings
in the middle of the night ♪
203
00:09:27,048 --> 00:09:31,434
♪ My father yells, "What you
gonna do with your life?" ♪
204
00:09:31,436 --> 00:09:35,288
♪ Oh, daddy dear, you know
you're still number one ♪
205
00:09:35,290 --> 00:09:39,058
♪ But girls,
they want to have fun ♪
206
00:09:39,060 --> 00:09:41,778
♪ Oh, girls just want to have ♪
207
00:09:41,780 --> 00:09:45,681
♪ That's all they really want ♪
208
00:09:45,683 --> 00:09:48,985
♪ Some fun ♪
209
00:09:48,987 --> 00:09:52,789
♪ When the working day is done ♪
210
00:09:52,791 --> 00:09:56,376
♪ Oh, girls,
they want to have fun ♪
211
00:09:56,378 --> 00:09:59,212
♪ Oh, girls just want
to have... ♪
212
00:09:59,214 --> 00:10:01,381
There's my good girl.
213
00:10:01,383 --> 00:10:02,698
Hi, Mommy.
214
00:10:02,700 --> 00:10:04,550
Where's Walden?
215
00:10:04,552 --> 00:10:06,502
Right there.
216
00:10:08,705 --> 00:10:11,224
He said it's his nap time.
217
00:10:12,409 --> 00:10:15,144
♪ Men. ♪
218
00:10:15,146 --> 00:10:18,547
I think I found your problem!
219
00:10:18,549 --> 00:10:20,600
You have got
a blown out fuse!
220
00:10:20,602 --> 00:10:21,684
Can you fix it?
221
00:10:21,686 --> 00:10:24,386
I don't see any
spare fuses but, uh,
222
00:10:24,388 --> 00:10:27,824
I do know a little trick.
What's that?
223
00:10:27,826 --> 00:10:29,242
Well, most people
don't know this,
224
00:10:29,244 --> 00:10:31,027
but you can use
an ordinary copper penny
225
00:10:31,029 --> 00:10:34,330
to replace a fuse.
No kidding?
226
00:10:34,332 --> 00:10:36,082
Yeah, electricians
won't tell you
227
00:10:36,084 --> 00:10:37,417
'cause they
want to charge you...
228
00:10:44,425 --> 00:10:47,243
It worked! The TV's back on!
229
00:10:47,245 --> 00:10:49,629
♪ Men. ♪
230
00:10:58,112 --> 00:11:00,262
"They were married
soon after,
231
00:11:00,264 --> 00:11:03,182
"and lived happily together
for many, many years.
232
00:11:03,184 --> 00:11:05,384
The end."
233
00:11:05,386 --> 00:11:08,587
Big surprise, huh?
234
00:11:12,375 --> 00:11:14,627
Thank God.
235
00:11:22,085 --> 00:11:24,253
It's too dark.
236
00:11:25,472 --> 00:11:27,473
Oh, sorry. Here you go.
237
00:11:27,475 --> 00:11:31,093
That's too bright.
238
00:11:31,961 --> 00:11:35,630
Okay. Uh... how about...
239
00:11:35,632 --> 00:11:39,852
I turn the bathroom light on
and leave the door open a crack?
240
00:11:40,854 --> 00:11:42,354
How's that?
241
00:11:42,356 --> 00:11:43,656
Better.
242
00:11:43,658 --> 00:11:44,657
All right.
243
00:11:44,659 --> 00:11:45,691
Good night.
244
00:11:45,693 --> 00:11:47,609
Did you look under the bed?
245
00:11:47,611 --> 00:11:51,580
No. Why, did you find
some funny magazines?
246
00:11:51,582 --> 00:11:54,667
You have to check for monsters.
247
00:11:54,669 --> 00:11:56,452
Oh.
248
00:11:59,289 --> 00:12:01,656
Nope, no monsters.
249
00:12:01,658 --> 00:12:03,658
Okay. Good night.
250
00:12:03,660 --> 00:12:05,177
What about the closet?
251
00:12:05,179 --> 00:12:06,712
What about it?
252
00:12:06,714 --> 00:12:08,847
Monsters.
253
00:12:10,383 --> 00:12:12,685
I don't want to have nightmares.
254
00:12:12,687 --> 00:12:14,720
Right.
255
00:12:14,722 --> 00:12:16,055
It's all clear.
256
00:12:19,275 --> 00:12:21,310
Aah... great.
257
00:12:21,312 --> 00:12:23,678
Now I'm gonna have nightmares.
258
00:12:23,680 --> 00:12:25,680
Okay, okay, good night.
259
00:12:25,682 --> 00:12:27,299
I'm thirsty.
260
00:12:28,684 --> 00:12:30,119
You're joking.
261
00:12:30,121 --> 00:12:32,488
Why would I joke about thirsty?
262
00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:34,039
Thirsty's not funny.
263
00:12:35,241 --> 00:12:37,292
I'll get you a glass of water.
264
00:12:37,294 --> 00:12:40,012
No, I want fizzy water.
265
00:12:40,863 --> 00:12:42,998
You want Perrier?
266
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:45,867
Pellegrino would be fine.
267
00:12:45,869 --> 00:12:47,836
Okay.
268
00:12:47,838 --> 00:12:50,222
I'll go see what we have.
269
00:12:51,874 --> 00:12:53,642
How did the story end?
270
00:12:53,644 --> 00:12:56,011
Uh... they got married,
271
00:12:56,013 --> 00:12:59,248
and they lived happily together
for many, many years.
272
00:13:01,518 --> 00:13:03,652
Till they had kids.
273
00:13:05,105 --> 00:13:07,189
♪ Men. ♪
274
00:13:07,191 --> 00:13:08,607
How are you feeling?
275
00:13:08,609 --> 00:13:09,891
All right.
276
00:13:09,893 --> 00:13:12,778
My hand's still a little numb.
277
00:13:12,780 --> 00:13:15,897
Well, let's see if I can
make it all better.
278
00:13:15,899 --> 00:13:17,249
Mmm...
Ooh! Ooh!
279
00:13:17,251 --> 00:13:18,834
Make it all better.
280
00:13:18,836 --> 00:13:20,669
Daddy like.
Mmm...
281
00:13:22,506 --> 00:13:23,324
Did you hear something?
282
00:13:23,349 --> 00:13:25,317
Mm, nothing but the
rustling in my jammies.
283
00:13:26,844 --> 00:13:28,627
No!
284
00:13:28,629 --> 00:13:30,379
There's someone downstairs.
285
00:13:30,381 --> 00:13:32,181
No, there isn't. Come
on, make it all better.
286
00:13:32,183 --> 00:13:33,849
Alan!
287
00:13:33,851 --> 00:13:36,351
There's someone
in the house. Go look.
288
00:13:36,353 --> 00:13:40,255
Really? With a dead hand and
the beginnings of an erection?
289
00:13:40,257 --> 00:13:41,590
Go.
290
00:13:46,780 --> 00:13:48,981
And thus ends the erection.
291
00:14:13,591 --> 00:14:16,791
Who keeps their weed
in the crisper?
292
00:14:16,793 --> 00:14:19,461
What, you want to get
crispy, don't you?
293
00:14:24,684 --> 00:14:26,852
Ow!
294
00:14:33,993 --> 00:14:35,861
Good morning.
295
00:14:38,331 --> 00:14:40,449
It's still dark out.
296
00:14:40,451 --> 00:14:42,251
It's breakfast time.
297
00:14:42,253 --> 00:14:45,003
Maybe in London.
298
00:14:45,005 --> 00:14:46,371
What's going on?
299
00:14:46,373 --> 00:14:48,924
She wants breakfast.
300
00:14:48,926 --> 00:14:51,009
Okay.
301
00:14:51,011 --> 00:14:53,128
Just give me a minute.
302
00:14:53,130 --> 00:14:55,764
No, you sleep;
I'll get it.
303
00:14:55,766 --> 00:14:56,932
Thanks.
304
00:14:56,934 --> 00:14:59,218
That's it? No argument?
305
00:14:59,220 --> 00:15:02,521
Shh...
306
00:15:06,509 --> 00:15:08,227
All right.
307
00:15:08,229 --> 00:15:09,695
What do you want?
308
00:15:09,697 --> 00:15:12,481
Corn Flakes or Cheerios or...
309
00:15:12,483 --> 00:15:14,449
Eggs Benedict.
310
00:15:14,451 --> 00:15:16,618
Of course.
311
00:15:17,320 --> 00:15:19,788
♪ Men. ♪
312
00:15:19,790 --> 00:15:21,690
Watch your step.
313
00:15:21,692 --> 00:15:23,959
Yeah, wouldn't want
to get hurt.
314
00:15:27,863 --> 00:15:30,332
Those pain pills starting
to kick in yet?
315
00:15:30,334 --> 00:15:31,366
Oh, yeah.
316
00:15:31,368 --> 00:15:33,868
You could spread me on a toast.
317
00:15:35,054 --> 00:15:36,054
Okay.
318
00:15:36,056 --> 00:15:38,056
Let's get you into bed.
319
00:15:38,058 --> 00:15:40,225
No, no.
320
00:15:40,227 --> 00:15:41,876
Let's get you into bed.
321
00:15:41,878 --> 00:15:42,877
Seriously?
322
00:15:42,879 --> 00:15:44,045
You want to fool around?
323
00:15:44,047 --> 00:15:45,514
Parts of me do.
324
00:15:45,516 --> 00:15:51,436
Mr. Nose says, "No," but
Mr. Hose says "Yes".
325
00:15:51,438 --> 00:15:53,238
Tell you what,
326
00:15:53,240 --> 00:15:56,891
why don't you just lie down
and let me take care of you.
327
00:15:56,893 --> 00:15:58,410
Really?
328
00:15:58,412 --> 00:16:00,996
You took care of me when I thought
there was someone in the house.
329
00:16:00,998 --> 00:16:02,397
Oh, right, right, I did.
330
00:16:02,399 --> 00:16:04,750
I was brave.
331
00:16:04,752 --> 00:16:07,252
Let's just get this belt
and zipper undone.
332
00:16:07,254 --> 00:16:09,904
Good thing you could breathe
through your nose.
333
00:16:10,506 --> 00:16:12,741
- Ow! - What?!
Ball snag!
334
00:16:12,743 --> 00:16:14,376
Oh, sorry!
No, no, don't touch it!
335
00:16:14,378 --> 00:16:15,910
Don't...! Oh!
336
00:16:18,131 --> 00:16:21,500
I think I broke Mr. Hose.
337
00:16:32,528 --> 00:16:33,979
Hey!
338
00:16:33,981 --> 00:16:36,264
What?
339
00:16:36,266 --> 00:16:38,099
What in the hell
happened here?
340
00:16:38,101 --> 00:16:40,068
I tried to make breakfast
for the kid.
341
00:16:40,070 --> 00:16:41,903
"Tried"?
342
00:16:41,905 --> 00:16:44,573
Yeah. The eggs were too runny,
343
00:16:44,575 --> 00:16:48,327
so I made oatmeal
that was too dry,
344
00:16:48,329 --> 00:16:51,964
so I made waffles
that were-- and I quote--
345
00:16:51,966 --> 00:16:54,883
"Bloody dreadful."
346
00:16:54,885 --> 00:16:56,585
Where is she now?
347
00:16:56,587 --> 00:17:00,038
I don't know; I don't care.
348
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,140
I can't do this, Berta.
349
00:17:02,142 --> 00:17:03,558
It's just... it's too much.
350
00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:05,260
She just never stops.
351
00:17:05,262 --> 00:17:07,562
Yeah, I raised
four daughters.
352
00:17:07,564 --> 00:17:11,350
The only thing that slows them
down is jail and johnsons.
353
00:17:12,268 --> 00:17:15,320
I told Zoey
we were gonna be a family.
354
00:17:15,322 --> 00:17:16,738
What am I gonna do?
355
00:17:16,740 --> 00:17:18,357
The kid's seven?
356
00:17:18,359 --> 00:17:19,408
Yeah.
357
00:17:19,410 --> 00:17:21,493
Wait nine years.
358
00:17:21,495 --> 00:17:22,911
What happens in nine years?
359
00:17:22,913 --> 00:17:26,615
If you're lucky, she runs away
with a coke-addled bass player.
360
00:17:26,617 --> 00:17:28,867
And if I'm not lucky?
361
00:17:28,869 --> 00:17:31,036
A drummer.
362
00:17:32,455 --> 00:17:34,756
♪ Men. ♪
363
00:17:38,177 --> 00:17:39,661
Hey.
364
00:17:39,663 --> 00:17:42,014
Oh, you're up.
365
00:17:42,016 --> 00:17:43,598
How are you feeling?
366
00:17:43,600 --> 00:17:44,800
A little better.
367
00:17:44,802 --> 00:17:45,967
I'm glad.
368
00:17:45,969 --> 00:17:48,437
Not looking forward
to ripping the Band-Aid
369
00:17:48,439 --> 00:17:49,855
off my scrotum, but...
370
00:17:49,857 --> 00:17:52,557
we'll cross that bridge
when we get to it.
371
00:17:52,559 --> 00:17:55,310
I'm so, so sorry.
372
00:17:55,312 --> 00:17:56,845
Yeah, just...
373
00:17:56,847 --> 00:18:00,515
FYI, if you'd like to try again,
I'm wearing sweatpants.
374
00:18:02,151 --> 00:18:04,036
No zipper.
375
00:18:04,038 --> 00:18:06,872
I cannot believe
you're still horny.
376
00:18:06,874 --> 00:18:10,208
Me neither,
but there it is.
377
00:18:10,210 --> 00:18:12,961
Well, I do owe you one.
378
00:18:13,997 --> 00:18:15,797
Oh, boy.
379
00:18:15,799 --> 00:18:17,049
Oh, boy, oh, boy, oh, boy.
380
00:18:20,970 --> 00:18:22,170
Do you smell that?
381
00:18:22,172 --> 00:18:23,171
Oh, don't worry.
382
00:18:23,173 --> 00:18:24,589
That's just the Neosporin.
383
00:18:24,591 --> 00:18:26,508
No.
384
00:18:26,510 --> 00:18:29,010
It-it smells
like something dead.
385
00:18:29,012 --> 00:18:31,730
It's not Mr. Hose.
386
00:18:31,732 --> 00:18:34,516
He's very much alive.
387
00:18:34,518 --> 00:18:37,018
Go ahead. Check.
388
00:18:37,020 --> 00:18:40,155
I think it's coming
from under the house.
389
00:18:40,157 --> 00:18:43,057
I'm sorry, I-I really
can't smell anything
390
00:18:43,059 --> 00:18:44,943
'cause of my broken nose...
391
00:18:44,945 --> 00:18:46,528
'cause of what you owe me.
392
00:18:46,530 --> 00:18:49,581
It-it's probably just a raccoon
or a possum.
393
00:18:49,583 --> 00:18:50,565
Hang on one sec.
394
00:18:50,567 --> 00:18:52,233
Let me call the exterminator.
395
00:18:52,235 --> 00:18:54,286
Oh, no, no, no,
that's going to take too long.
396
00:18:54,288 --> 00:18:57,873
I'll ju... I'll just get
a shovel and a garbage bag
397
00:18:57,875 --> 00:18:59,841
and deal with it.
398
00:18:59,843 --> 00:19:01,676
You're that horny?
399
00:19:01,678 --> 00:19:04,679
I know, it's starting
to worry me, too.
400
00:19:07,935 --> 00:19:10,185
You okay down there?
401
00:19:10,187 --> 00:19:13,105
Yeah. Yeah, I think I see it.
402
00:19:15,109 --> 00:19:17,926
Looks like a-a dead possum.
403
00:19:17,928 --> 00:19:19,111
Be careful.
404
00:19:19,113 --> 00:19:21,113
Oh, don't worry about it.
405
00:19:21,115 --> 00:19:22,864
I-I'm just going
to shovel him into my...
406
00:19:22,866 --> 00:19:24,783
Not dead! Not dead!
407
00:19:24,785 --> 00:19:26,818
Ow! Ow!
408
00:19:26,820 --> 00:19:29,154
Yah! I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!
409
00:19:29,156 --> 00:19:30,789
I didn't mean...
Ow! No! Ow!
410
00:19:30,791 --> 00:19:32,457
Come on!
411
00:19:32,459 --> 00:19:35,109
Oh, that's going
to get infected.
412
00:19:35,111 --> 00:19:36,611
Ah! Ahh!
413
00:19:43,180 --> 00:19:44,464
♪ Men. ♪
414
00:19:44,466 --> 00:19:46,249
Thank you.
415
00:19:52,756 --> 00:19:54,057
Hey.
416
00:19:54,059 --> 00:19:56,425
Oh, hey.
Thanks for meeting me, man.
417
00:19:56,427 --> 00:19:58,427
Whoa!
418
00:19:58,429 --> 00:20:00,596
What happened to you?
419
00:20:00,598 --> 00:20:03,650
Well, let's see, uh...
420
00:20:03,652 --> 00:20:06,069
Electrocuted, got
my nose bashed in,
421
00:20:06,071 --> 00:20:08,955
and possibly rabies.
422
00:20:17,715 --> 00:20:19,782
How are you?
423
00:20:19,784 --> 00:20:22,802
I am really tired.
424
00:20:22,804 --> 00:20:25,088
My heart bleeds for you.
425
00:20:25,090 --> 00:20:28,808
Also my left ball sack.
426
00:20:28,810 --> 00:20:30,727
What's that smell?
427
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:35,682
Oh, Neosporin, with
just a hint of possum.
428
00:20:37,234 --> 00:20:40,820
So, uh, how are things going
living with Zoey and her daughter?
429
00:20:40,822 --> 00:20:42,572
It's good, it's good.
430
00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:43,690
Oh.
431
00:20:43,692 --> 00:20:44,991
How's living with Lyndsey?
432
00:20:44,993 --> 00:20:46,409
Oh, it's terrific.
433
00:20:46,411 --> 00:20:48,578
That's great.
434
00:20:50,414 --> 00:20:52,582
That's great.
435
00:20:54,702 --> 00:20:57,587
If I could get rid of them...
Yes! A hundred times yes!
436
00:20:57,589 --> 00:21:01,589
== sync, corrected by elderman ==