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Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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♪ Good morning, USA! ♪
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♪ I got a feeling that it's
gonna be a wonderful day ♪
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♪ The sun in the sky has
a smile on his face ♪
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♪ And he's shining a salute
to the American race ♪
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♪ Oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪
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♪ Good... ♪
♪ Good morning, USA ♪
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Aah!
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American Dad 5x18
Great Space Roaster
Original Air Date on May 16, 2010
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-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for MY-SUBS.com --
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Oh, my God! We've been robbed!
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Come on out, you thieving bastards!
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Dad! Hayley, you were
elected family gun shield
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at the last family meeting.
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You're also in charge
of the Netflix queue.
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Just know this:
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I never don't want to have
Kindergarten Cop.
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Roger, did you see who did this?
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Yeah. I did this.
I was looking for clues
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to where you're throwing
my birthday party.
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Found nothing, so I took a nap.
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Roger, we wanted it
to be a surprise.
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We're throwing you a bowling party!
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Oh, a bowling party! How original!
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Apparently, I'm a
13-year-old Latino kid.
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Well, what do you want to do?
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Something good.
I mean, you rented out
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the amphitheater for
Steve's birthday.
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We went to a 4 Non Blondes concert.
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It's not our fault we
were the only ones there.
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You took Hayley skydiving.
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Stan got four pairs of jeans.
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I guess you had to come out of
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or regularly visit
Francine's clown hole
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to matter around this place!
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It is a happening spot.
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I want to do something special.
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I'm turning 1,601.
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It's when I hit puberty.
Warning, I'm gonna get
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a lot more sexually aggressive.
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You have any suggestions?
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Uh, yeah, everyone
should avoid wearing
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loose-fitting shorts around me.
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I'll get in there!
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But seriously, I want
to do what the greats do
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when they get celebrated:
I want a roast!
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Roger, do you even
know what a roast is?
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Of course I do! I was a member
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of the Friars Club in the '60s.
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I drove Phyllis Diller
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to two of her first
three abortions.
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She must have such regrets,
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never getting her driver's license.
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I guess we can do that.
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We'll dress up nice, throw a few
good-natured barbs your way.
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Good-natured?
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Oh, no, don't you
dare go light on me!
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The best roasts are
brutal and hilarious.
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Oh, I think it'll be fun.
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You can't participate, Klaus.
I hate you.
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I say that not out of anger,
but simply as a fact.
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It's 67 degrees outside,
and I hate you.
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Well, if that's what
you really want,
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then of course we'll do it.
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Make it so, Fran-cisco.
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Now, if you'll excuse me,
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I have my bowling league tonight.
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I'm-a roll a turkey tonight, ese.
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Settle down, everyone.
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Who threw that? Your mother's ass!
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Due to recent financial hardships,
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the CIA has been forced to
take on a corporate sponsor.
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That sponsor is
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Jones Enterprises,
makers of the Chia Pet.
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So from now on, we'll be known
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as the Central Human
Intelligence Agency.
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Frank!
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Just let him go.
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The Chia Pet people are
sending a CIA family
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into space for one year
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to see if Chia seeds grow up there.
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The dream of an afro on the moon
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is within our grasp, people!
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Looks like your wife's .
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Kruger, you just got
yourself a month in Kabul!
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Now...
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the agent chosen for this mission
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was not only the most qualified,
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he also sold the most
magazine subscriptions.
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Congratulations, Sanders!
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Can't you even smile?
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I don't have any friends in space!
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You're friends with your sister!
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Good evening, and welcome
to the Smith family roast
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of Roger Smith.
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Say mean things, Stan!
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Talk about how he's gray!
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You ready, Roger?
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Roger is truly one of the most
interesting people I know.
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He's also a pathetic drug addict.
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Now, I'm gonna read a
list of different drugs,
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and, Roger, if you hear one
you're not on right now,
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raise your hand.
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"Cocaine. Heroin. Ecstasy. Crack.
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"OxyContin. Meth. Steroids.
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"Cooked-down Afrin.
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Euphoria, the fake drug
from 90210."
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Okay, next I'd like
to introduce a woman
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who is in a rare group for Roger--
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one who hasn't him with a .
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Ho-ho!
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Let's hear it for Francine Smith!
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Oh, thank you, Stan.
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Roger, you're the most disgusting,
out-of-shape
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piece of I've ever met in my life.
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And I know Sammy Hagar.
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A few years ago, we thought
it would be a good idea
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to get Roger a checking account
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to teach him responsibility.
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Here's what old Rog did.
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Here's check 001,
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the only check Roger ever wrote.
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Please note that in the date line
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he's written: "Today comma 1783."
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It's made out for the
amount of $72 million,
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and it's payable to "Drugs."
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On the memo line, it says:
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"For drugs, yo,"
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and it's signed "John Travolta."
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00:05:09,092 --> 00:05:11,827
Anyway, this was the
only check he ever wrote.
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The rest of the checks
have holes in them,
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because Roger got
drunk and raped them.
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Roger's June 4 diary entry.
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00:05:23,006 --> 00:05:24,840
It says: "Million-dollar ideas."
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And under it, it reads: "
Diarrhea equals Rhea Perlman."
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STAN No-ho-ho-ho!
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The rest of the pages
have holes in them
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because he raped them.
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All right, it's time to hear
from the man of the hour.
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Roger, you drunk, lazy ,
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get the waiter's out of
your mouth and get up here!
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Why? Why would you do this?
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What... what did I ever do
to any of you to make you say
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00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,708
those incredibly hurtful things?
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Are you serious?
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Does it look like I'm not serious?!
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00:06:03,146 --> 00:06:04,847
Roger, this is what you asked for.
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You stay away from me, Francine!
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All of you stay away from me!
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00:06:08,351 --> 00:06:11,286
This has been the worst
night of my entire life!
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Morning.
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Roger! Where have you been?
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We haven't seen you in days!
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Getting my life together-
that's where.
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Those comments you made the
other night resonated in me,
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00:06:27,268 --> 00:06:29,569
and I decided it was
time for a change.
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We didn't say those
things so you'd change.
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We were just poking fun.
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Well, the person you
described in graphic detail
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00:06:35,609 --> 00:06:38,578
and in decent joke form is not
someone I want to be.
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I got a job at a bank,
which should address
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the monetary problem
Hayley pointed out,
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and I'm also three days sober.
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Stan, thank you for that
very loud wake-up call.
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Who's that positive girl with you?
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This is Ally, my life coach.
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She also works at Jumbo Juice.
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She gave me a fiber boost.
Then she gave me a life boost.
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She has weird energy, doesn't she?
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She also made me a goal list.
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This is the first piece of paper
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I haven't sexually
assaulted in years.
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So... you're not mad at us anymore?
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God, no! You saved my life!
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Okay, because you were madder
than we've ever seen you,
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00:07:15,216 --> 00:07:17,550
and you do have a history
of holding grudges.
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What? No, I don't.
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You wrote death
threats to Merlin Oln
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for seven years after Father
Murphy was cancelled.
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He was just the star, Roger.
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That was the old me.
I'm done with all that.
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00:07:26,961 --> 00:07:29,929
And by the way, Merlin had a
producer credit the second season.
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He could have done something.
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00:07:33,868 --> 00:07:36,035
Ah, I'm off for a little night run
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at the Howard University track.
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Sit down and have dinner first.
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Thank you, no. I'm going for a run,
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and I have to leave here
right now, immediately.
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Guys, get in here!
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The porn channel's cong
in for some reason!
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Nice.
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00:07:52,920 --> 00:07:54,254
Is everyone okay?
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Did we lose the porn?
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There must have been a gas leak!
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We could have all been killed.
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You know, Roger sure
did leave in a hurry.
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00:08:02,396 --> 00:08:04,931
You... you don't think
Roger had something to do
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00:08:04,999 --> 00:08:06,466
with the explosion!
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00:08:06,534 --> 00:08:07,834
Because of the roast?
199
00:08:07,902 --> 00:08:10,236
Guys, you heard him: we
inspired him to better himself.
200
00:08:10,304 --> 00:08:11,971
Still, to be safe,
we should follow him.
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00:08:12,039 --> 00:08:13,306
You know, just to see
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00:08:13,374 --> 00:08:15,275
if he's doing all the
things he says he is.
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00:08:19,747 --> 00:08:20,847
...and $300.
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00:08:20,915 --> 00:08:22,816
Have a good one.
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00:08:22,883 --> 00:08:25,819
Hey, Liz, I'm thinking about
going to Nordstrom's at lunch.
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00:08:25,886 --> 00:08:27,921
Do you want to grab a sandwich
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00:08:27,988 --> 00:08:30,023
and walk around Nordstrom's
at lunch, Elizabeth?
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00:08:45,806 --> 00:08:47,874
You know, the other
day I took a walk
209
00:08:47,942 --> 00:08:49,442
down to George C. Scott Park
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00:08:49,510 --> 00:08:51,077
right when the sun was going down.
211
00:08:51,145 --> 00:08:52,879
You know how that time is like.
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00:08:52,947 --> 00:08:55,014
Sun throwing shadows and all.
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00:08:55,082 --> 00:08:57,283
Got me thinking about
when I was a young man
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00:08:57,351 --> 00:08:59,552
sitting in that park, you know,
watching the girls,
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00:08:59,620 --> 00:09:01,955
smoking a little herb,
drinking a cold beer.
216
00:09:02,022 --> 00:09:05,725
And I had this moment when I
wanted to feel that way agn.
217
00:09:07,094 --> 00:09:08,728
But I didn't get high.
218
00:09:08,796 --> 00:09:11,464
Instead, I went home and
watched The Wire.
219
00:09:11,532 --> 00:09:13,266
That's where this speech is from.
220
00:09:13,334 --> 00:09:14,767
Thanks for letting me share.
221
00:09:21,508 --> 00:09:23,376
You guys thought I
tried to kill you?
222
00:09:23,444 --> 00:09:24,777
Hilarious!
223
00:09:27,481 --> 00:09:29,649
It's so therapeutic to laugh.
224
00:09:29,717 --> 00:09:32,118
Hey, does anyone
have the exact time?
225
00:09:32,186 --> 00:09:33,786
8:04. Thank you, my love.
226
00:09:33,854 --> 00:09:35,255
Ow. Ow.
227
00:09:35,322 --> 00:09:37,957
Oh, my running regimen
is killing my lower back.
228
00:09:38,025 --> 00:09:39,259
I got to lie down.
229
00:09:41,562 --> 00:09:44,530
You guys can get up now!
It's definitely over!
230
00:09:47,801 --> 00:09:50,036
You were right! Someone is
trying to kill us!
231
00:09:50,104 --> 00:09:53,706
Let's get out of here!
Get in the car! Let's go!
232
00:09:55,976 --> 00:09:57,610
I think we're safe.
233
00:09:57,678 --> 00:09:59,279
Quick thinking back there, Roger.
234
00:09:59,346 --> 00:10:00,380
Roger?
235
00:10:01,815 --> 00:10:04,317
Roger might be trying to kill us.
236
00:10:04,385 --> 00:10:05,418
And we have no brakes.
237
00:10:17,498 --> 00:10:19,966
Wow! This is a really safe car!
238
00:10:20,034 --> 00:10:21,401
Of course it is, son.
239
00:10:21,468 --> 00:10:22,669
The new Chevy Tumbler
240
00:10:22,736 --> 00:10:24,704
has driver- and
passenger-side air bags,
241
00:10:24,772 --> 00:10:26,839
as well as head-curtain
side-impact air bags.
242
00:10:26,907 --> 00:10:28,908
Plus an all-new third row of seats,
243
00:10:28,976 --> 00:10:31,544
and OnStar with a one-year
"Safe and Sound" plan.
244
00:10:31,612 --> 00:10:34,280
This is OnStar.
Is everything okay, Mr. Smith?
245
00:10:34,348 --> 00:10:36,049
Everything's fine, Elaine.
Thank you.
246
00:10:36,116 --> 00:10:38,384
Who the is Elaine, Stan?
247
00:10:38,452 --> 00:10:40,386
♪ I saw the sign ♪
248
00:10:40,454 --> 00:10:42,355
♪ And it opened up my eyes ♪
249
00:10:42,423 --> 00:10:43,823
♪ I saw the sign... ♪
250
00:10:43,891 --> 00:10:46,159
You're alive!
251
00:10:46,226 --> 00:10:48,027
So you are pissed about the roast!
252
00:10:48,095 --> 00:10:49,495
You're damn right I am!
253
00:10:49,563 --> 00:10:51,764
You guys all got up and insulted me
254
00:10:51,832 --> 00:10:53,232
in the meanest way possible!
255
00:10:53,300 --> 00:10:54,801
And you were all laughing!
256
00:10:54,868 --> 00:10:56,169
Yeah, that's a roast.
257
00:10:56,236 --> 00:10:57,337
Roger!
258
00:10:57,404 --> 00:10:58,638
It's too late!
259
00:10:58,706 --> 00:11:00,606
A switch went off
inside me that night,
260
00:11:00,674 --> 00:11:03,109
and now all I think about
is killing you guys.
261
00:11:03,177 --> 00:11:04,978
That's been my real goal all along.
262
00:11:06,347 --> 00:11:07,747
My first few attempts failed,
263
00:11:07,815 --> 00:11:10,116
so I'm changing my approach,
gonna get more creative.
264
00:11:10,184 --> 00:11:12,251
Nothing's set in stone,
although I'm pretty sure
265
00:11:12,319 --> 00:11:14,120
these scorpions are
going in Steve's butt.
266
00:11:14,188 --> 00:11:15,722
They're rare
butthole-eating scorpions
267
00:11:15,789 --> 00:11:17,757
and they cost me 2,000 bucks each,
268
00:11:17,825 --> 00:11:21,027
but then I'm not very good
with money, am I, Hayley?
269
00:11:21,095 --> 00:11:22,829
Roger, you need to stop this now!
270
00:11:22,896 --> 00:11:24,864
I'm never gonna stop.
271
00:11:31,305 --> 00:11:33,439
Nice shot, Steve.
272
00:11:33,507 --> 00:11:36,476
Every shot's a nice shot
with a McGregor tranq gun.
273
00:11:36,543 --> 00:11:39,812
McGregor. It's Scottish
for bull's-eye.
274
00:11:39,880 --> 00:11:42,015
What are we gonna do now?
275
00:11:42,082 --> 00:11:44,450
Well, Roger's clearly
committed to killing us all.
276
00:11:44,518 --> 00:11:46,686
So I'm gonna put him
somewhere he can't hurt us.
277
00:11:53,193 --> 00:11:55,361
The Bangkwang Maximum Security Prison.
278
00:11:55,429 --> 00:11:58,498
No man's ever gotten out alive.
279
00:12:14,948 --> 00:12:16,649
I feel bad for Roger.
280
00:12:16,717 --> 00:12:18,518
Don't. It was either him or us.
281
00:12:18,585 --> 00:12:20,520
And I picked us.
282
00:12:20,587 --> 00:12:22,722
Oh, my God,
breaking news from Asia!
283
00:12:22,790 --> 00:12:23,790
Oh, no.
284
00:12:23,857 --> 00:12:25,124
An inmate has escaped
285
00:12:25,192 --> 00:12:26,993
from the Bangkwang
Prison in Thailand.
286
00:12:27,061 --> 00:12:28,628
The prisoner killed
two dozen guards;
287
00:12:28,695 --> 00:12:30,963
then built a boat out of
their corpses to get away.
288
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,434
You guys watching the news?
289
00:12:34,501 --> 00:12:35,902
How-How did you know?
290
00:12:35,969 --> 00:12:38,271
Because I'm right behind you.
291
00:12:38,338 --> 00:12:39,772
Just kidding.
292
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,808
I'm at the Indianapolis
Airport on a layover.
293
00:12:41,875 --> 00:12:43,476
Watching a Hoosiers game at a bar.
294
00:12:43,544 --> 00:12:44,744
Coming to kill ya.
295
00:12:44,812 --> 00:12:47,080
We got to get the hell out of here.
296
00:12:47,147 --> 00:12:49,115
Where are we going to go?
297
00:12:49,183 --> 00:12:51,050
KLAUS Hi. You've
reached the Smiths.
298
00:12:51,118 --> 00:12:52,685
Leave a message.
299
00:12:52,753 --> 00:12:54,754
Just so you know,
there's nowhere on Earth
300
00:12:54,822 --> 00:12:58,091
you guys can go where I
can't find you. Nowhere!
301
00:12:59,760 --> 00:13:01,661
Can I get another iced tea?
302
00:13:01,728 --> 00:13:03,096
Is anyone watching this game?
303
00:13:03,163 --> 00:13:04,297
It's a blowout.
304
00:13:04,364 --> 00:13:05,765
You are? Why? It's a blowout.
305
00:13:05,833 --> 00:13:07,333
You know what? Forget the iced tea.
306
00:13:07,401 --> 00:13:08,835
I'm gonna head to my gate.
307
00:13:19,580 --> 00:13:21,514
Hi. Do you have this
week's People?
308
00:13:21,582 --> 00:13:25,151
People Magazine! This week's?
309
00:13:27,788 --> 00:13:29,122
Sir! Wait!
310
00:13:29,189 --> 00:13:32,058
Well, according to this paper,
311
00:13:32,126 --> 00:13:34,794
Smith has sold ten more magazine
subscriptions than Sanders.
312
00:13:34,862 --> 00:13:35,928
What?
313
00:13:35,996 --> 00:13:37,530
I guess I have no choice
314
00:13:37,598 --> 00:13:39,966
but to let the Smith family
take the Sanders' place
315
00:13:40,033 --> 00:13:41,801
on the space station
for the next year.
316
00:13:47,007 --> 00:13:48,474
We'll be safe in space.
317
00:13:48,542 --> 00:13:49,675
That we know.
318
00:14:02,356 --> 00:14:03,689
Oh, no. Oh, no.
319
00:14:03,757 --> 00:14:06,159
Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh,
no! Oh, no! Aah!
320
00:14:06,226 --> 00:14:08,060
Oh! Yes!
321
00:14:38,071 --> 00:14:39,972
You think Roger's
still looking for us?
322
00:14:40,019 --> 00:14:41,320
All I know is we
don't have to worry
323
00:14:41,399 --> 00:14:42,799
about it for the next year.
324
00:14:42,867 --> 00:14:44,868
Stan, can you please
just put a jumpsuit on
325
00:14:44,935 --> 00:14:45,935
like the rest of us?
326
00:14:46,003 --> 00:14:47,170
No can do.
327
00:14:47,238 --> 00:14:48,338
Earth Stan is boxers.
328
00:14:48,406 --> 00:14:49,506
Space Stan is panties.
329
00:14:49,573 --> 00:14:50,740
Steve, don't steal glances.
330
00:14:50,808 --> 00:14:52,375
If you want to check
out my meatballs
331
00:14:52,443 --> 00:14:53,610
in this thing, go right ahead.
332
00:14:53,677 --> 00:14:54,778
I'm your dad.
333
00:14:54,845 --> 00:14:56,012
"Day three.
334
00:14:56,080 --> 00:15:00,216
"Chia pet 122271:
335
00:15:00,284 --> 00:15:02,352
Three and five-eighths growth."
336
00:15:02,420 --> 00:15:03,853
Fascinating.
337
00:15:03,921 --> 00:15:07,891
Permission to apply
Chia pet specimen 010874
338
00:15:07,958 --> 00:15:09,325
with alpha paste.
339
00:15:09,393 --> 00:15:10,727
Paste application approved.
340
00:15:10,795 --> 00:15:12,595
Steady.
341
00:15:12,663 --> 00:15:14,030
Well done.
342
00:15:14,098 --> 00:15:15,799
Prepare olfactory
system for flatulence.
343
00:15:15,866 --> 00:15:17,000
Flatulence denied.
344
00:15:18,335 --> 00:15:20,103
Flatulence has been sent.
345
00:15:20,171 --> 00:15:22,839
Steve, Klaus went to get
more Chia seeds an hour ago.
346
00:15:22,907 --> 00:15:24,174
Go find him.
347
00:15:24,241 --> 00:15:25,308
Aye, aye, Captain.
348
00:15:25,376 --> 00:15:26,543
This isn't a boat.
349
00:15:26,610 --> 00:15:27,844
It is a ship! Get out.
350
00:15:31,282 --> 00:15:33,016
Klaus?
351
00:15:33,084 --> 00:15:35,518
Klaus, where are you?
352
00:15:41,192 --> 00:15:42,859
Klaus?
353
00:15:44,061 --> 00:15:46,162
Klaus! It's stuck.
354
00:15:46,230 --> 00:15:47,397
Get away! It's a trap!
355
00:15:47,465 --> 00:15:48,631
He's here!
356
00:15:50,534 --> 00:15:51,801
Steve, behind you!
357
00:15:58,742 --> 00:16:00,477
Stan, what's happening?
358
00:16:00,544 --> 00:16:03,446
Not much. What's
happening with you?
359
00:16:03,514 --> 00:16:04,614
♪ ♪
360
00:16:04,682 --> 00:16:05,882
What is that?
361
00:16:05,950 --> 00:16:07,484
Is that Ace of Base?
362
00:16:07,551 --> 00:16:08,651
Roger!
363
00:16:08,719 --> 00:16:10,019
He's here.
364
00:16:10,087 --> 00:16:11,688
He's gonna kill us all!
365
00:16:11,755 --> 00:16:13,456
Steve's still out there!
366
00:16:13,524 --> 00:16:15,125
We have to find him and get
off this space station.
367
00:16:15,192 --> 00:16:16,759
Let's split up.
368
00:16:16,827 --> 00:16:18,261
Whoever finds him,
radio the others,
369
00:16:18,329 --> 00:16:19,529
and we'll meet up
at the escape pod.
370
00:16:21,465 --> 00:16:23,233
♪ ♪
371
00:16:46,624 --> 00:16:48,525
Stan, Roger's gonna get us.
372
00:16:48,592 --> 00:16:50,326
Where are you?
We're in the kitchen.
373
00:16:50,394 --> 00:16:52,562
I'm running as fast as I can.
374
00:16:58,169 --> 00:16:59,836
It's gonna be okay, Francine.
375
00:16:59,904 --> 00:17:01,738
I made it to the escape pod.
376
00:17:01,805 --> 00:17:03,473
I'm safe.
377
00:17:03,541 --> 00:17:05,175
What?! Stan, hurry!
378
00:17:05,242 --> 00:17:06,843
We're almost on the ground.
379
00:17:06,911 --> 00:17:09,045
No! Oh!
380
00:17:11,715 --> 00:17:13,783
Well, I did all I could.
381
00:17:15,186 --> 00:17:17,253
Fresh panties for the ride home!
382
00:17:19,323 --> 00:17:21,090
♪ ♪
383
00:17:25,629 --> 00:17:26,763
Ow!
384
00:17:46,750 --> 00:17:48,518
♪ ♪
385
00:17:49,920 --> 00:17:52,188
Welcome and thank you for coming!
386
00:17:52,256 --> 00:17:53,356
Are you gonna kill us now?
387
00:17:53,424 --> 00:17:54,857
That'd be too easy.
388
00:17:54,925 --> 00:17:58,428
No. You have to feel the
same pain I felt that night.
389
00:17:58,495 --> 00:18:00,163
So you're going to roast us?
390
00:18:00,231 --> 00:18:03,366
No. You're going to
roast each other.
391
00:18:03,434 --> 00:18:05,101
And your zingers better be mean.
392
00:18:05,169 --> 00:18:08,571
If you try any weak sauce,
I'm gonna give you such a zots.
393
00:18:08,639 --> 00:18:09,439
Oh!
394
00:18:09,506 --> 00:18:12,508
Now, Stan, roast Hayley.
395
00:18:12,576 --> 00:18:13,776
Aah!
396
00:18:13,844 --> 00:18:15,345
You feel that zots?!
397
00:18:15,412 --> 00:18:18,448
Hayley, you're not very smart,
and you smoke a lot of pot.
398
00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:19,182
Zots!
399
00:18:19,250 --> 00:18:20,483
Aah! Okay.
400
00:18:20,551 --> 00:18:22,352
Hayley, I secretly wish
you were Benjamin Button,
401
00:18:22,419 --> 00:18:24,821
and you were aging backwards,
and your life was almost over.
402
00:18:26,123 --> 00:18:27,523
Oh, yeah!
403
00:18:27,591 --> 00:18:29,092
Insults in the form of jokes.
404
00:18:29,159 --> 00:18:30,526
How's it feel, Hayley?
405
00:18:30,594 --> 00:18:31,761
Not too bueno, I bet.
406
00:18:31,829 --> 00:18:32,996
Okay, now do Steve.
407
00:18:33,063 --> 00:18:35,331
Steve, you will never get laid.
408
00:18:35,399 --> 00:18:36,599
There's nothing
attractive about you.
409
00:18:36,667 --> 00:18:37,967
You have the sex appeal
410
00:18:38,035 --> 00:18:40,069
of the cancer ward in
a pediatric hospital.
411
00:18:40,137 --> 00:18:41,871
Oh.
412
00:18:41,939 --> 00:18:44,340
Hayley coming in
with a groaner. Nice.
413
00:18:44,408 --> 00:18:46,776
Okay, Steve, let's see
you give it to your mama.
414
00:18:48,045 --> 00:18:50,513
Mom, you are not smart.
415
00:18:50,581 --> 00:18:52,849
I don't tell "yo
mama's so dumb" jokes.
416
00:18:52,916 --> 00:18:55,285
I tell "my mama's so dumb" jokes.
417
00:18:55,352 --> 00:18:57,320
My mama's so dumb,
418
00:18:57,388 --> 00:18:59,555
I don't tell "yo
mama's so dumb" jokes.
419
00:18:59,623 --> 00:19:02,025
I tell "my mama's so dumb" jokes.
420
00:19:02,092 --> 00:19:03,526
I love it.
421
00:19:03,594 --> 00:19:06,195
Francine, take the pain and
throw it right at Stan. Do it!
422
00:19:06,263 --> 00:19:08,931
Stan, you have the undeserved ego
423
00:19:08,999 --> 00:19:10,700
of Jeremy Piven,
424
00:19:10,768 --> 00:19:12,602
the annoying self-righteousness
425
00:19:12,670 --> 00:19:14,103
of Sean Penn,
426
00:19:14,171 --> 00:19:15,605
and the unbearable hypocrisy
427
00:19:15,673 --> 00:19:17,140
of Rush Limbaugh.
428
00:19:17,207 --> 00:19:19,542
What I'm trying to say is,
429
00:19:19,610 --> 00:19:22,211
you're almost as bad a
person as Rachael Ray.
430
00:19:36,026 --> 00:19:37,827
Why are you laughing?
431
00:19:37,895 --> 00:19:39,062
That wasn't funny.
432
00:19:39,129 --> 00:19:40,530
That's, like, the meanest thing
433
00:19:40,597 --> 00:19:41,898
anyone's ever said to anyone.
434
00:19:41,965 --> 00:19:43,666
What the hell's going on here?
435
00:19:43,734 --> 00:19:45,034
Where's the hurt feelings?
436
00:19:45,102 --> 00:19:47,103
Roger, we can say these
things to each other
437
00:19:47,171 --> 00:19:48,338
because we're family.
438
00:19:48,405 --> 00:19:49,605
It doesn't hurt my feelings
439
00:19:49,673 --> 00:19:51,374
because I still know they love me.
440
00:19:51,442 --> 00:19:53,343
Well, your roast hurt my feelings!
441
00:19:53,410 --> 00:19:54,944
Wait a minute.
442
00:19:55,012 --> 00:19:57,647
You don't consider yourself
part of this family, do you?
443
00:19:57,715 --> 00:19:59,315
No, 'cause I'm not.
444
00:19:59,383 --> 00:20:00,550
Are you kidding me?!
445
00:20:00,617 --> 00:20:02,385
We tried to throw
you a bowling party.
446
00:20:02,453 --> 00:20:03,786
We-we did the roast you wanted...
447
00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:05,054
If after all this time,
448
00:20:05,122 --> 00:20:06,823
you still don't feel
part of this family,
449
00:20:06,890 --> 00:20:07,990
it's your hang-up.
450
00:20:08,058 --> 00:20:09,459
Roger, we love you.
451
00:20:09,526 --> 00:20:10,893
You're a Smith.
452
00:20:10,961 --> 00:20:13,096
If you can't accept that,
go yourself.
453
00:20:13,163 --> 00:20:16,099
Oh. Oh, my God.
454
00:20:16,166 --> 00:20:18,735
I am a part of this family.
455
00:20:18,802 --> 00:20:20,636
You do love me.
456
00:20:20,704 --> 00:20:22,705
I feel it now.
457
00:20:22,773 --> 00:20:24,374
I'm-I'm...
458
00:20:24,441 --> 00:20:26,342
I'm letting it wash over me.
459
00:20:26,410 --> 00:20:27,944
Look at me.
460
00:20:28,011 --> 00:20:31,114
I'm crying like Francine when she
watches Grey's Anatomy.
461
00:20:31,181 --> 00:20:34,050
I just feel so sorry
for those poor actors.
462
00:20:36,253 --> 00:20:38,388
Hey, Roger, go take some Euphoria
463
00:20:38,455 --> 00:20:39,989
and rape the data journal!
464
00:20:42,461 --> 00:20:43,561
I've been eyeing it.
465
00:20:43,629 --> 00:20:44,696
I'm not gonna lie.
466
00:20:50,360 --> 00:20:51,494
Fun birthday.
467
00:20:54,698 --> 00:20:57,400
Hey, never thought I'd see
you dirty bastards again.
468
00:20:57,468 --> 00:20:59,102
Ah. I feel great.
469
00:20:59,169 --> 00:21:00,403
Cleaned out.
470
00:21:00,471 --> 00:21:01,871
All right, who wants them next?
471
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:04,307
No one?
472
00:21:04,374 --> 00:21:05,475
Okay, you heard 'em.
473
00:21:05,542 --> 00:21:06,709
Round two, boys.
474
00:21:06,777 --> 00:21:08,411
Now make sure this
time that you really...
475
00:21:09,780 --> 00:21:10,814
Oh. Oh, you know what you're doing.
476
00:21:10,826 --> 00:21:12,860
-- Sync, corrected by elderman --
-- for MY-SUBS.com --