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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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Good evening
and welcome to Top Gear
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where, tonight, we're talking about
unusual specimens,
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not Ant and Wreck over there,
but rare cars.
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Because if you want to get
your hands on a truly rare car,
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you could spend millions
on a machine like this -
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one of 14 right-hand drive
Ferrari 275 GTS.
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It's just beautiful. Look at it.
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It is nice but you could go
the cheaper route.
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If you do a bit of digging,
for not much money,
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you can find
some properly rare cars,
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the last of their kinds.
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Yeah, cars that were once common
but are now nearly extinct.
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So, the producers told Fred
and me to go out
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and pick the rarest,
cheapest cars we could find
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and then meet up with them...
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..in Borneo.
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Borneo.
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A vast jungle island
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over three times the size
of Great Britain,
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a unique ecosystem that's home
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to some of the strangest,
rarest beasts on Earth...
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..and about to be home to two more.
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Come on.
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Come on.
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Ah. Come on!
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How are you? Good to see you.
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From Bolton. Right...
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Oh, cars.
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I can't wait to see
what you brought.
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Now, let me tell you,
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I've been to some very mysterious
parts of the internet
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finding this car.
I'm sure you have, Paddy.
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This is a proper, rare one-off.
Right.
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I give you...
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..the Matra Bagheera S.
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Feast your eyes on that, son.
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Mid-engine, rear-wheel drive,
low centre of gravity -
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proper sports car, Fred.
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Push-button, nice.
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Three seats.
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Did somebody say McLaren F1?
No. Yes, I did.
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There's only four in the UK.
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This is the only right-hand drive
that Matra did theirselves.
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And, just for extra points,
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this is the original brochure
for this car.
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And that car you're looking
at there, the original, is that.
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Seriously? That is the same?
That is that, my friend.
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Bagheera.
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So, it's named after
a Disney character?
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I'll forgive your ignorance.
How much?
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Six grand, just under.
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Six grand.
I'll give you it, it's obscure.
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Well, that's the point, Fred.
That's the point.
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Is it quick? Quick?!
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Oh! 118 top end.
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Look at how low this car is.
Look at the ground clearance.
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Well, yeah, it's low
because it's a sports car, Fred.
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But you're in Borneo.
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Have you seen the terrain
you're going to be going on?
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This is useless.
I've never been to Borneo before!
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I'm not well-travelled like you.
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Come here, let me show you this.
This is what you should have had.
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This is the car that is going to
wipe the floor with you.
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I present to you...
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..the Austin Allegro estate.
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Both British and exotic.
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Well, listen,
I don't want to disappoint you,
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but the words "British" and "exotic"
don't go together.
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It's an Allegro. Oh, no, no, no, no.
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I mean, there's loads of them.
No, no, not this Allegro.
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This is an estate.
This is rarer, Paddy. Rarer.
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Just a couple knocking about.
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And it's three and a half grand.
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Half the price of that,
more or less.
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Yeah, I know it's half the price
cos it's half the car.
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Half the price, double the car.
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There's no way
that's getting across Borneo.
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This is mint. This is as fast as
the day it left the factory.
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So, very slow, then.
Faster than yours. Fa...!
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Well, we'd soon see.
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Three...
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..two, one...
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..go.
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Come on, Matra, let's go.
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Oh, bloomin' heck.
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I've got the cover on the back.
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It's acting like a parachute
as well. That's not happening.
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French engineering at its best!
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Suppose he's got a bit of drag.
That's what he'll be saying.
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"I've got a bit of drag with this
at the back of my car.
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"The dust sheet's slowing me down."
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Ugh. Look at Paddy. He'll be all
happy with himself.
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Well done, Paddy,
you've won in a sports car.
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Now, the mission we've been given
for our classics was a simple one -
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head up the road out of town
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and keep driving
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until we could drive no more.
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But, just because
the route was simple,
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it didn't mean it would be easy.
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God. I've literally only just
got off the airstrip
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and we're struggling here.
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If I was to draw a car I didn't
want to drive around Borneo,
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I reckon I'd draw that.
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But survive the journey
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and we've been told our rare beasts
might just earn themselves a place
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in one of the world's most legendary
car collections -
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a place that, frankly,
my car was made for.
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Matra Bagheera.
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Wow.
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I love the steering wheel.
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I like the little flat bit
at the bottom,
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very Lamborghini-esque.
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In fact, at its launch,
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it was known as
the little Lamborghini,
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and I can see why.
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Matra is almost forgotten nowadays,
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but, 40 years ago,
it led the world in motorsport.
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In 1969, Matra won
the F1 World Championships
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with Jackie Stewart.
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And it won Le Mans three times -
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1972, 1973, and 1974.
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Proper pedigree, this car.
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Phew!
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I'm having some of my cooling spray.
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Oh.
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Bit down here.
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Oh, God, a pothole!
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Ooh, flipping heck!
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Paddy's rushing. This is
the tortoise and the hare, this.
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You've brought a sports car
to Borneo.
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Go on, you rush around
scratching the bottom,
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I'm just going to take it
nice and easy in my Allegro.
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Now, this is the HL line
which means it's the posh one.
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You get the head rests.
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You get a massive quartz clock.
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So you can keep
your Bentley Mulsannes
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and your Rolls-Royce Phantoms,
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this is pure luxury.
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After a couple of hours on the road,
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our progress was good.
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But, heading into the hills,
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and still tiptoeing around potholes,
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Borneo threw in a new,
unavoidable obstacle -
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mud.
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Come on, Bagheera.
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Oh, God.
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Oh, this is tricky.
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Oh, my word.
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We're going in.
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Nice and slow, Pad.
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I'm giving it some! How are you
going to get the nose up tha
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Go on, Bagheera. Go on!
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Yes! Yes!
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Yes!
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Whoa!
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Up we go!
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That is unbelievable!
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Woo!
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What a car!
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Go on.
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Oh. Hang on.
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I might have pushed the girl
too far.
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Let's try this.
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Oh, Paddy's stopped.
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You right, Pads?
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Wha...?
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Slight technical.
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What the frigging hell's
that in my car?
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Get out!
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Oh, yes.
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Can't believe I've just been
overtaken by an Allegro.
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Fred, I might need
a bit of help here.
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I might have to get out
and give it a little bit of a shunt.
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I tell you what we need,
we need some rocks or something,
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don't we, under the wheels?
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I'll fish some out.
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You sort them out,
I'll get some out of here.
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You've got to be careful in here,
though, Paddy.
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Any chance of something with
a bit of substantiality to it?
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Well, do you want to have a look?
There's all sorts in here.
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He brought that out.
What's that going to do?
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In here, Paddy, in here
there's tarantulas, right?
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Flying snakes.
They're not going to bother you.
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Sumatran cobras that spray poison
in your eyes and blind you.
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You'll be all right. Black leopards,
stalk you in silence -<
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one bite on the throat,
you're dead.
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You're from Preston,
there's worse round there.
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Back, back!
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Get a brick under the other side
as well, Fred. Oh, you sit t
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you're all right,
I'll get the bricks.
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Well, I'm the pilot, aren't I?
Bloomin' heck.
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There's them who sit in the car
and reverse
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and there's them who put rocks
under the tyres, son.
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Go on.
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What about giving it a bit of a...
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..at the front,
give it a push at the front.
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How about you get out
for two minutes?
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Lift it!
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Oh, that's it, go on, Fred!
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It's not even a tonne, this car,
it's lightweight.
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Oh.
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Stop!
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What is it?
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It's all right, you don't need it.
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Oh, God. You're all right.
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00:10:11,320 --> 00:10:13,600
Oh, I can't believe that's happened.
It's all right.
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00:10:13,600 --> 00:10:15,240
40 years, not a scratch.
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00:10:16,840 --> 00:10:19,600
It had been a busy morning
for the cars,
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so, reaching a nearby village,
we decided to stop for a break.
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Don't be intimidated
by me getting my arms out.
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I'm really not.
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Like a dinner lady, look at them.
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And, as luck would have it,
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we turned up to a highlight
of the local sporting calendar -
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00:10:39,920 --> 00:10:41,920
buffalo race day.
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00:10:45,720 --> 00:10:47,720
This is quite a big thing,
isn't it, today?
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00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:49,200
Get some food here, eh?
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Oh, they're off. Pick one, Paddy,
pick one. They're off.
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Number one. Number four, me.
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00:10:58,040 --> 00:11:00,760
Number four. Yeah, the one
at the front. Go on, lad! Come on, number four!
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00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:05,320
Go on, number one! Go on, one!
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00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:07,320
He's got him. Oh, no!
224
00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:08,840
Oh! Four.
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00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,560
That was four. Four by a nose.
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00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:14,880
Good job I've got these on. Oh!
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00:11:14,880 --> 00:11:16,560
Have you not got them?
No, I haven't.
228
00:11:16,560 --> 00:11:18,480
You know, you just make them
into shorts.
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00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,560
Get a bit of air to your legs,
you see, Fred.
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00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:25,080
And, by the time the second race
was over,
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Freddie had found
the on-site catering.
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00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,400
Ooh, exotic. Got a bit of fruit.
Durian fruit.
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Chatting to the fella... Pfft!
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You all right? Please stop
putting it under my nose.
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It's very prickly.
Whoa! What you doing?
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The texture's like... Do you know
when you get a cheese slice melted?
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Yeah. That's the texture of it.
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00:11:43,440 --> 00:11:45,520
Phwoah, man, that smells.
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00:11:45,520 --> 00:11:47,880
Go on. What do you mean "go on"?
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00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,080
Hang on. You said you were hungry.
Wait a minute.
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00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:51,800
Yeah, I wanted a...
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It's all right.
243
00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,840
You're struggling. Tell you what...
You're struggling! 00:12:00,600
I tell you what...
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00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:02,960
No, it's fine, Paddy. You went...
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00:12:04,400 --> 00:12:05,640
Oh.
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00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:09,720
It was just a surprise.
No, I'm all right. Come on! <
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00:12:09,720 --> 00:12:12,200
Just tasted some.
Take them away. No...
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00:12:12,200 --> 00:12:15,560
Say no offence when you go over,
just say...tell them I'm a vegan.
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00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:17,160
Yep.
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00:12:18,360 --> 00:12:20,240
There you are.
252
00:12:20,240 --> 00:12:21,640
Pass it down.
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00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:23,200
Thank you. You're welcome.
254
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,480
Got these sago grubs.
What the f...! What's that?
255
00:12:26,480 --> 00:12:28,600
Sago grubs, they're a delicacy.
256
00:12:28,600 --> 00:12:31,240
They're alive, man.
You said you wanted protein.
257
00:12:31,240 --> 00:12:33,800
Oh, no, I can't... I mean,
look at them, they're quite cute.
258
00:12:33,800 --> 00:12:35,840
If I have one, will you have one?
We're not eight.
259
00:12:35,840 --> 00:12:38,040
But we're in it together, aren't we?
We are not eight.
260
00:12:38,040 --> 00:12:40,440
Put your hand there and I'll
put my hand there and all that.
261
00:12:40,440 --> 00:12:41,840
What are you doing?
262
00:12:41,840 --> 00:12:44,440
You need to live a little, Paddy.
What are you doing? I can't...
263
00:12:44,440 --> 00:12:46,640
I tell you what,
it's a funny feeling, that.
264
00:12:47,840 --> 00:12:49,360
Oh, look at that. Go on.
265
00:12:52,920 --> 00:12:55,600
Fuelled up
on his high protein...grub,
266
00:12:55,600 --> 00:12:58,840
next, Flintoff fancied his chances
out on the track.
267
00:13:04,480 --> 00:13:06,840
What the hell is he doing?
268
00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:09,640
Over here. Come on.
269
00:13:09,640 --> 00:13:11,800
Paddy, lad, I'm in the lead!
270
00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,640
Go on! I'm winning.
271
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:17,320
Oh! Oh! Oh, no. Come on.
272
00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:20,720
But, before Freddie Dettori could do
himself or a buffalo
273
00:13:20,720 --> 00:13:22,200
a career-ending injury,
274
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,320
I thought it best
we get back on the move.
275
00:13:27,920 --> 00:13:31,600
And, once again, picking our way
along the only road north,
276
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:33,480
the afternoon played out...
277
00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,120
..well, pretty much
as the morning had.
278
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:38,480
Come on.
279
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:40,520
Right, wait there,
I'm going to give you a push.
280
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,720
Hang on, I might have that.
281
00:13:42,720 --> 00:13:44,680
Try that. BLEEP, BLEEP.
282
00:13:44,680 --> 00:13:46,800
Paddy, wait! I'll tell you when!
283
00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:51,800
Oh, come on. Come on, Bagheera.
284
00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,360
Oh-ho!
285
00:13:53,360 --> 00:13:55,720
First gear's gone in! Yes!
286
00:13:55,720 --> 00:13:58,040
That's the first time to...
287
00:13:58,040 --> 00:14:01,560
What in the name of God is this?
288
00:14:01,560 --> 00:14:04,280
Where did that come from? Oh!
289
00:14:04,280 --> 00:14:07,160
Oh, my God, that's savage.
290
00:14:07,160 --> 00:14:08,760
Flippin' heck!
291
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:12,200
I can't even get it into a gear.
Pump, pump, pump.
292
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:14,600
Bloody thing's cut out on me.
293
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,640
Oh, no.
294
00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:19,440
I've no engine.
295
00:14:19,440 --> 00:14:21,320
Oh! Oh!
296
00:14:22,440 --> 00:14:24,040
Oh, God. Argh!
297
00:14:24,040 --> 00:14:27,040
Oh, there's bloody flies
coming in at me. Oh!
298
00:14:27,040 --> 00:14:28,160
Argh!
299
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:29,680
Oh!
300
00:14:36,160 --> 00:14:39,320
Either this has got heated seats...
301
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,360
..or I've just had an accident.
302
00:14:43,440 --> 00:14:47,160
Look at this.
No pride in his car whatsoever.
303
00:14:47,160 --> 00:14:50,440
Look at that. He doesn't care,
McGuinness, he doesn't care.
304
00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:53,520
When did that come off?
305
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,600
Down that hill.
I stopped to pick it up.
306
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:57,400
Oh, look at this.
307
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:58,920
We're holding up the road here.
308
00:14:58,920 --> 00:15:02,080
It's all right, they'll see that
and they'll go, "Oh, bit of class.
309
00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:03,880
"He's a Matra driver."
310
00:15:03,880 --> 00:15:06,720
"Look at that knobhead
driving that French car."
311
00:15:06,720 --> 00:15:10,040
Need a push up, boys.
Do you reckon you can push...?
312
00:15:10,040 --> 00:15:12,160
You fancy helping us push this,
please?
313
00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:14,160
Need a push, need a push.
314
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:17,160
Who's the lightest, smallest?
The small one.
315
00:15:17,160 --> 00:15:19,240
This lad here. Get yourself in.
316
00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,000
You steer, we'll push.
317
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,520
That's it.
318
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:26,840
Just before we go, it's the only
right-hand drive Bagheera, that,
319
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,680
made by Matra. Are we ready?
320
00:15:28,680 --> 00:15:30,280
Right, lads, come on. That's it.
321
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:31,800
Push! Oh, we're on it,
we're on it!
322
00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,440
Come on, lads, come on.
Let's go, come on!
323
00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:36,400
Yes, lads, come on, push!
324
00:15:38,240 --> 00:15:39,840
Oh-whey-oh!
325
00:15:39,840 --> 00:15:41,680
Oh-oh-oh!
326
00:15:43,960 --> 00:15:45,400
And, just to be clear,
327
00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:48,440
while Paddy was busy
deconstructing his Bagheera...
328
00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:49,600
Oh!
329
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,320
Ooh!
330
00:15:51,320 --> 00:15:54,320
Oh, no, there goes
my rear view mirror. That's gone.
331
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,440
..the Allegro 1.5 HL
332
00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:58,760
hadn't missed a beat.
333
00:15:59,840 --> 00:16:01,440
Here we go.
334
00:16:01,440 --> 00:16:04,160
I've had 4x4s that can't do this.
335
00:16:04,160 --> 00:16:07,320
BMW X5, I couldn't get it
off the drive when it snowed.
336
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:08,920
Me drive was only like that.
337
00:16:08,920 --> 00:16:10,920
Look at this!
338
00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:12,400
I tell you what,
339
00:16:12,400 --> 00:16:13,960
the people at British Leyland,
340
00:16:13,960 --> 00:16:16,280
they had a bad reputation
for going home early.
341
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:18,400
Not the bloke
who put this one together.
342
00:16:18,400 --> 00:16:20,480
He stayed on a Friday.
343
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:25,200
He thought, "One day, my car
is going to be driven
344
00:16:25,200 --> 00:16:28,720
"by a fat, ex-cricketer
with ginger hair through Borneo."
345
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:31,960
As the day wore on...
346
00:16:33,040 --> 00:16:36,360
..eventually
the light began to fade.
347
00:16:42,240 --> 00:16:43,760
Oh, God.
348
00:16:43,760 --> 00:16:49,480
Poor visibility, head lamps
from the '70s, and it's raining.
349
00:16:50,840 --> 00:16:52,240
Bloomin' heck.
350
00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:55,960
Oh, no, what's happened
to my wipers?
351
00:16:55,960 --> 00:16:57,640
I've lost a wiper.
352
00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:04,240
But we'd been told to drive
until we could drive no more,
353
00:17:04,240 --> 00:17:07,000
so, that's exactly what we did.
354
00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:12,280
How are you feeling, big lad?
355
00:17:12,280 --> 00:17:14,800
Oh, I'm ready for my pit, son.
356
00:17:14,800 --> 00:17:16,480
Me and you both.
357
00:17:26,600 --> 00:17:28,240
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
358
00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:31,280
What is...?
359
00:17:34,240 --> 00:17:36,000
What's going on?
360
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:40,960
Hello.
361
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,160
OK.
362
00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:53,280
Paddy, I think these are Gurkhas.
363
00:17:54,720 --> 00:17:56,320
Just be good.
364
00:17:57,600 --> 00:17:59,680
Sir? Yes. This is for you.
365
00:18:03,800 --> 00:18:06,000
Hoo! What did he say, Paddy?
What's he after?
366
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,280
Didn't say owt to me.
367
00:18:08,280 --> 00:18:11,840
"Tomorrow, you will face
the ultimate test.
368
00:18:11,840 --> 00:18:15,800
"With the help of the army's elite
shock force troop, the Gurkhas,
369
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:18,160
"you're going off-road,
370
00:18:18,160 --> 00:18:20,280
"really off-road."
371
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,240
What was that? What's that?
Why's he doing that?
372
00:18:34,240 --> 00:18:37,880
Don't worry about that.
It's horrible. It's horrible. OK.<
373
00:18:37,880 --> 00:18:41,480
Congratulations, Andrew, you are
definitely moving up in the world.
374
00:18:41,480 --> 00:18:43,920
You've gone from pedalo to buffalo.
375
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:46,680
Firstly, it's Fred till
I tell you otherwise. OK, sorry. 00:18:49,720
And the other thing, buffaloes
are easier to stay on than a pedalo.
377
00:18:49,720 --> 00:18:52,160
It does help being sober as well.
378
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:53,800
I'm not going to lie.
379
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:57,040
We'll get back to that film
and the Gurkhas a little later,
380
00:18:57,040 --> 00:19:00,280
and, let me tell you,
those lads do not mess about.
381
00:19:00,280 --> 00:19:03,400
Now, while these two were off
flouncing around in the jungle,
382
00:19:03,400 --> 00:19:07,360
I was busy doing some real world
consumer journalism,
383
00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:11,200
a very thorough review
of the new Rolls-Royce.
384
00:19:23,440 --> 00:19:26,440
It's called the Cullinan.
385
00:19:26,440 --> 00:19:29,280
It costs a quarter of
a million pounds.
386
00:19:29,280 --> 00:19:31,880
And, though it might
look like an SUV,
387
00:19:31,880 --> 00:19:35,400
according to Rolls, it isn't an SUV.
388
00:19:35,400 --> 00:19:40,320
No, this is an all-terrain,
high-bodied car.
389
00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,760
So, an SUV, then.
390
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:48,160
And to all those people saying,
"Should Rolls-Royce really build
391
00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:49,720
"a massive SUV?"
392
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:51,920
I say, well, why not?
393
00:19:51,920 --> 00:19:57,240
If anyone's entitled to build
a massive, off-road tank, it's them.
394
00:19:57,240 --> 00:20:00,240
It's hardly like their normal cars
are small and dainty, is it?
395
00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:03,160
Furthermore, 100 years ago,
396
00:20:03,160 --> 00:20:06,640
Rolls' entire
best-car-in-the-world image
397
00:20:06,640 --> 00:20:09,000
was based on a building
off-road vehicles because
398
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,920
there were no roads.
399
00:20:10,920 --> 00:20:13,120
Just ask Lawrence of Arabia.
400
00:20:14,720 --> 00:20:18,000
And the Cullinan
is a proper off-roader.
401
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,720
It's got four-wheel-drive,
402
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:22,360
it'll wade through
half a metre of water,
403
00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:25,880
it'll realistically go
anywhere you'd expect
404
00:20:25,880 --> 00:20:29,040
your £250,000 off-roader to go.
405
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:30,840
But, let's face it,
406
00:20:30,840 --> 00:20:34,120
the Cullinan owner
isn't going to do any of that.
407
00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:36,400
They're going
to drive around on-road,
408
00:20:36,400 --> 00:20:38,480
from this very high
driving position,
409
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:41,280
wondering why everyone else
looks a bit poor.
410
00:20:46,320 --> 00:20:47,960
And, out on the road,
411
00:20:47,960 --> 00:20:52,280
the Cullinan is every bit as refined
and imperious as you'd expect
412
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:55,400
from the world's most expensive SUV.
413
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:03,440
Listen to that.
The silence is just glorious.
414
00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:07,640
This is the most refined
SUV ever made.
415
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,880
You really don't even know
the engine's switched on.
416
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:15,040
I mean, driving on this road now,
there's no suspension noise,
417
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:16,600
no tyre noise.
418
00:21:17,760 --> 00:21:21,040
And the ride,
it's just extraordinary.
419
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,040
It is so supple,
420
00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:26,240
it's like the road ahead of you's
just been resurfaced
421
00:21:26,240 --> 00:21:28,320
with marshmallows.
422
00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:31,840
And, like every other
luxury SUV out there,
423
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:34,640
the Cullinan
doesn't just do comfort...
424
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:37,720
..it also does power.
425
00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:40,800
And it really is
more than powerful enough.
426
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:44,960
It has a twin-turbo-charged
6.75 litre V12,
427
00:21:44,960 --> 00:21:47,440
560hp.
428
00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:49,680
I'm not sure anyone is going to be
brave enough
429
00:21:49,680 --> 00:21:52,120
to really hustle one of these,
though.
430
00:21:52,120 --> 00:21:55,200
It goes really, really quickly.
431
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,680
And it does a great job of hiding
all of its weight
432
00:21:57,680 --> 00:22:01,080
until you get to a corner
like that...
433
00:22:03,120 --> 00:22:05,640
..and you are very aware
of how heavy it is.
434
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:12,240
Let's be honest,
this isn't an SUV for driving hard,
435
00:22:12,240 --> 00:22:16,920
it's an SUV for wafting along
in glorious, soothing silence.
436
00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:21,800
And, for that, the Cullinan is
in a class of its own.
437
00:22:23,920 --> 00:22:28,400
However, it does have
one, teeny-tiny problem.
438
00:22:29,640 --> 00:22:33,120
It is, to use
a technical, automotive term,
439
00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:35,800
utterly hideous to look at.
440
00:22:35,800 --> 00:22:39,280
I mean, it's a little bit
new London taxi there,
441
00:22:39,280 --> 00:22:41,360
it's a little bit Chinese knock-off,
442
00:22:41,360 --> 00:22:43,360
it's ALL bad.
443
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:45,120
I mean, look at the grille.
444
00:22:45,120 --> 00:22:46,720
All that money, that design team,
445
00:22:46,720 --> 00:22:48,480
that's the best
they can come up with?
446
00:22:48,480 --> 00:22:50,960
It just looks like they've taken
any old boxy SUV
447
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:53,680
and just slapped a grille on it
and a flying lady.
448
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:55,200
She must be gutted.
449
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:57,720
And I know looks are
a subjective thing,
450
00:22:57,720 --> 00:22:59,400
but this is just wrong.
451
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:02,360
In fact, I'm going to get inside
cos it's safer on my eyes.
452
00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:03,520
Argh!
453
00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:07,360
It really is quite an achievement.
454
00:23:07,360 --> 00:23:12,080
Rolls has somehow managed to build
a £250,000 car
455
00:23:12,080 --> 00:23:15,640
that turns heads
for all the wrong reasons.
456
00:23:17,120 --> 00:23:19,320
# Hallelujah... #
457
00:23:19,320 --> 00:23:21,400
Sorry. Sorry.
458
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:24,400
# Hallelujah, hallelujah... #
459
00:23:24,400 --> 00:23:26,480
It's not my car.
460
00:23:26,480 --> 00:23:28,840
# Hallelujah
461
00:23:28,840 --> 00:23:31,840
# Hallelujah, hallelujah
462
00:23:31,840 --> 00:23:34,360
# Hallelujah. #
463
00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:37,960
But there's something much worse
going on here.
464
00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:43,680
The Cullinan should feel like
the peak of British engineering
465
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:46,520
but, actually,
it just feels cynical.
466
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:50,480
It doesn't feel like it was created
through passion, or love,
467
00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:55,760
or innovation, it just feels like
it was created to make money.
468
00:23:55,760 --> 00:23:57,960
Raw greed.
469
00:23:57,960 --> 00:23:59,480
Because, let's face it,
470
00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:02,600
there are too many rich people
on this planet
471
00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:05,200
for this tasteless car not to exist.
472
00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:10,800
I'm an apologist for the motor car -
473
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:14,640
fast, big, inefficient,
I'll defend them cos I love cars,
474
00:24:14,640 --> 00:24:16,560
I'm passionate about them.
475
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:19,920
But I cannot construct
a defence for this car.
476
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:24,480
I'm in the flag-bearer
for British engineering,
477
00:24:24,480 --> 00:24:26,960
a Rolls-Royce,
478
00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:28,440
and I'm ashamed to be in it.
479
00:24:30,440 --> 00:24:32,240
So, if you want to experience
480
00:24:32,240 --> 00:24:34,920
a world-class piece
of British engineering
481
00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:37,480
that doesn't make
you loath yourself,
482
00:24:37,480 --> 00:24:39,040
you don't want one of these.
483
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:40,240
Oh, no.
484
00:24:41,360 --> 00:24:44,720
You want one of these.
485
00:24:46,200 --> 00:24:49,600
Now, that is British engineering.
Watch this.
486
00:24:50,640 --> 00:24:53,200
The Brompton folding bicycle.
487
00:24:53,200 --> 00:24:54,840
What a machine.
488
00:24:54,840 --> 00:24:57,480
Frankly, it's a blessed relief.
489
00:25:15,960 --> 00:25:17,840
I mean, I'm not...
490
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:20,720
I'm not being...
491
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:24,120
I do have to point out
there's no Cullinan.
492
00:25:24,120 --> 00:25:26,000
There are no flies on you, Fred.
Where is it?
493
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:28,000
Your powers of observation
are amazing.
494
00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:30,840
Look, we asked Rolls-Royce
if we could borrow one,
495
00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:32,800
they said no, so we had to rent one.
496
00:25:32,800 --> 00:25:35,720
And they said no cos they were
worried - I don't know why -
497
00:25:35,720 --> 00:25:38,400
they thought we were going to be
rude about it.
498
00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:40,240
You were rude about it.
499
00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:42,840
Oh, come on, I think we just
pointed out the obvious, didn't we?
500
00:25:42,840 --> 00:25:45,520
Look, it deserves a kicking and
they're not the only ones, either.
501
00:25:45,520 --> 00:25:49,120
Everyone's making
these big, large, executive SUVs.
502
00:25:49,120 --> 00:25:51,640
You know, Aston Martin's at it,
Lamborghini's done it,
503
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,480
Bentley's done it, but there's
something about the Rolls
504
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:56,960
that makes it more hateful
than all the others.
505
00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,360
It's just hideous to look at.
It's not that bad.
506
00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:01,720
In comparison to the Bentley
and the Lambo,
507
00:26:01,720 --> 00:26:03,240
I'd have it every day of the week.
508
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,240
Oh. It's Rolls-Royce, Paddy.
509
00:26:05,240 --> 00:26:07,280
British at its best. Oh, no.
510
00:26:07,280 --> 00:26:09,320
I'm sorry, are you having a laugh?
No.
511
00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,880
You would drive around in that car?
Mate, what's wrong with it?
512
00:26:11,880 --> 00:26:14,400
Tell you what, then, you open
the boot, you get a Brompton out,
513
00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:17,000
there's nothing more pretentious
on the road than a Brompton.
514
00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:19,040
"Look at me on my foldy-up bike."
No, I've got to...
515
00:26:19,040 --> 00:26:21,320
Jeez, come on, Chris...
516
00:26:21,320 --> 00:26:24,400
Shall we move on? Cos now it's time
for tonight's studio guest,
517
00:26:24,400 --> 00:26:26,440
the fantastic Bob Mortimer.
518
00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:29,280
Here's what happened when we met him
out on the track earlier today.
519
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,160
Behave, you two.
You can have some as well.
520
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:36,480
Hello, Bob. Hiya, Paddy.
Hiya, Freddie. Hiya, Chris.
521
00:26:36,480 --> 00:26:38,160
How are you, boss?
Thanks for having us.
522
00:26:38,160 --> 00:26:41,520
Welcome to the Top Gear
Width Restrictor challenge, OK?
523
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:43,640
Right. Very, very simple. Yeah.
524
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:45,280
You've got to take this car... Yeah.
525
00:26:45,280 --> 00:26:47,840
..and you've got to drive through
there as fast as you can,
526
00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,200
and you have to nominate someone
to compete against.
527
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:51,720
Might I suggest you choose
528
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:53,880
the person you think
might be the slowest.
529
00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:55,840
Paddy. Oh!
530
00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:58,280
Ooh. Oh, he's not happy with that.
531
00:26:58,280 --> 00:27:01,320
Here we go. Great car, this.
Come on.
532
00:27:01,320 --> 00:27:04,200
Sport mode -
Bob won't think of that.
533
00:27:04,200 --> 00:27:05,760
This is how competitive Paddy is,
534
00:27:05,760 --> 00:27:08,720
he started way back
so he can get some speed up.
535
00:27:08,720 --> 00:27:10,360
She's an old girl.
536
00:27:10,360 --> 00:27:12,720
Come on. 70.
537
00:27:12,720 --> 00:27:13,880
He suits the Jag.
538
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:16,400
I can imagine him in one of those
lurking around wine bars.
539
00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:17,840
Yeah. Sort of Watford area.
540
00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,600
100, we're at 100. We're at 100.
We're at 100.
541
00:27:22,040 --> 00:27:24,480
Oh! He's through, Bob.
542
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:26,840
Ooh, that were tight!
543
00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:32,280
Well, I was very impressed.
544
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:34,040
She'll go, the old girl.
545
00:27:34,040 --> 00:27:36,440
That was impressive. Go on.
546
00:27:36,440 --> 00:27:38,160
101!
547
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:41,880
Race you back. Beat that, Sir Bob.
I won't. 00:27:45,320
Now, did you touch anything? Well,
little nick on the wing mi
549
00:27:45,320 --> 00:27:48,120
Oh, hello. Oh, oh. No, no. Whoa.<
550
00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:51,680
It's intact, look.
Is the glass smashed? No.
551
00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:54,280
There you go. Get off that.
So I think that does count. 00:27:56,480
101mph is your speed to beat, Bob.
553
00:27:56,480 --> 00:27:58,080
Well, I won't be beating that.
554
00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:01,040
Do you want me to try and do 100mph?
I want you to beat Paddy.
555
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:02,920
I really want you to beat Paddy.
556
00:28:02,920 --> 00:28:05,000
Three, two, one, go.
557
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:06,640
Come on, Bob. Don't lift off.
558
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:11,320
They're barely moving.
I can't even pick... Oh, 36.
559
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,000
I am a sinner! 70! Come on, go, Bob!
560
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,920
Go! I'm nervous.
561
00:28:15,920 --> 00:28:17,480
I don't normally... BLEEP!
562
00:28:17,480 --> 00:28:18,840
No, Bob, no.
563
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:20,400
No!
564
00:28:20,400 --> 00:28:22,720
Oh! You got through, Bob!
565
00:28:24,240 --> 00:28:26,480
Did you have the handbrake on,
Bob, or what?
566
00:28:26,480 --> 00:28:28,720
In Bob's mind, we were supersonic.
567
00:28:28,720 --> 00:28:31,200
It was... Bob, we didn't need
the speed camera.
568
00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:34,040
Oh, I know,
but I've joyed myself so much.
569
00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:36,800
Honest.
570
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:39,120
It's not all about speed, is it?
571
00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:42,080
That's the first time
I've been frightened in a long time.
572
00:28:42,080 --> 00:28:43,800
First of all,
can I announce your speed?
573
00:28:43,800 --> 00:28:45,640
What do you think you did?
Oh, I think I...
574
00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:48,560
I really want it to be 60 but...
Yes! Oh, it is?
575
00:28:48,560 --> 00:28:52,200
Oh! Oh, that's all right!
That's all right! 00:28:54,600
That's all right!
And one point of conjecture,
577
00:28:54,600 --> 00:28:57,600
you went through at 60,
you didn't touch anything. No. 00:29:00,160
He may have done 101
but he whacked a wing mirror,
579
00:29:00,160 --> 00:29:03,200
so I'm not sure that you haven't
scored a moral victory here.
580
00:29:05,560 --> 00:29:08,040
He's chuffed with himself,
isn't he? Oh, all the time. 00:29:09,200
For no apparent reason.
582
00:29:09,200 --> 00:29:12,080
Just shows that sometimes the
tortoise beats the hare, doesn't it?
583
00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:15,280
Yeah. Sometimes the bull
beats the kestrel.
584
00:29:15,280 --> 00:29:18,400
Do you know what I mean?
585
00:29:22,240 --> 00:29:26,320
Please welcome comedy legend
Bob Mortimer!
586
00:29:28,920 --> 00:29:32,360
Hi, Paddy. Hi, Chris. Hiya, Freddie.
587
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:35,600
Oh! Whoa!
588
00:29:35,600 --> 00:29:37,840
Thanks for having us.
589
00:29:37,840 --> 00:29:40,360
That was tight.
That was tight, yeah.
590
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:43,280
You went fast at first and then
you took your foot off the gas, why?
591
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:44,760
Yes, I got frightened.
592
00:29:44,760 --> 00:29:46,800
Right, OK. YOU got frightened?
593
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:49,280
I was bricking it
in that passenger seat. Yes.
594
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:51,120
I kind of smelt that, yes.
595
00:29:51,120 --> 00:29:54,080
Kind of. Apologies.
596
00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:57,560
But let's start at the beginning.
Yeah. What was your first
597
00:29:57,560 --> 00:30:01,960
My first car was a Lexus LS400.
598
00:30:01,960 --> 00:30:06,320
Big. That's a very big,
not-normal, first car.
599
00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:09,320
When did you pass your driving
test? Not till my late 30s. 00:30:12,600
You know, when, my wife was having
a baby, so you think,
601
00:30:12,600 --> 00:30:15,640
you know, you might have to drive
to the hospital.
602
00:30:15,640 --> 00:30:17,440
Drive to the hospital... It helps.
603
00:30:17,440 --> 00:30:19,600
Yeah, with some towels
and some hot water
604
00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,640
on the back-seat, so I thought
I'd have to learn, so, yeah.
605
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:25,800
So, what's this, then?
Cos we've got footage of you
606
00:30:25,800 --> 00:30:27,360
driving in the mid-'90s.
607
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:29,320
Really? Yeah, let's have
a look at this.
608
00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:38,240
Nicole!
609
00:30:38,240 --> 00:30:40,160
Nicole!
610
00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:44,440
Papa. Nicole.
611
00:30:44,440 --> 00:30:46,920
Nicole! Bob!
612
00:30:46,920 --> 00:30:48,120
Yes!
613
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:51,840
Blimey!
614
00:30:58,000 --> 00:30:59,120
Yeah.
615
00:30:59,120 --> 00:31:01,880
Oh! What about that?!
616
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:04,640
What a lovely memory.
617
00:31:04,640 --> 00:31:07,880
That was the most viewing figures
618
00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:10,680
Vic and I have ever got, was for
that advert. How million? 00:31:14,360
There's 24 million people watched
that. Extraordinary, isn't it?
620
00:31:14,360 --> 00:31:16,440
That advert was massive
back in the day. Yeah.
621
00:31:16,440 --> 00:31:18,680
In fact, you're advert royalty.
I didn't know this.
622
00:31:18,680 --> 00:31:20,720
This is amazing, everybody.
623
00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:25,040
Bob used to be the voice of
Churchill the dog from the adverts.
624
00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:27,440
I can't believe it!
625
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:33,240
Oh, yes.
626
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:35,360
Yes! Yes!
627
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:38,520
Yes!
628
00:31:38,520 --> 00:31:41,960
Yeah, we went into a voice booth
and they had this character,
629
00:31:41,960 --> 00:31:45,040
a dog, and said, "Can you come up
with a voice for it?"
630
00:31:45,040 --> 00:31:48,720
And I also, do you remember Deryck
Guyler? "Oh, what you doing?"
631
00:31:48,720 --> 00:31:51,160
Yeah. I did it like that
632
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:53,840
and that became kind of what
I'm best known for,
633
00:31:53,840 --> 00:31:55,720
although I'm not known
for it as it were.
634
00:31:55,720 --> 00:31:58,800
How long did you do it for, those
adverts? I did it for a lon
635
00:31:58,800 --> 00:32:01,440
For, I'm thinking, like,
ten years or something.
636
00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:04,320
Did they just keep getting you back
in or did you just use it, because
637
00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:06,960
it's just the same, "Oh, yes,"
it's just that on every advert.
638
00:32:06,960 --> 00:32:09,480
Every time I'd have to go in
and do an, "Oh, yes.
639
00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:12,280
"Oh, yes! Oh, yes."
640
00:32:12,280 --> 00:32:14,320
You know, with those instructions.
641
00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:16,480
"Say this one like you're sad."
642
00:32:16,480 --> 00:32:18,360
"Oh, yes."
643
00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:23,720
But, yeah, I'd have to, so they must
have thousands upon thousands of,
644
00:32:23,720 --> 00:32:26,600
"Oh, yes," somewhere. Brilliant.
Shall we talk about your n
645
00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:28,160
Gone Fishing with Paul Whitehouse.
646
00:32:28,160 --> 00:32:31,280
Oh, thank you, yeah. Now, I'm not
massively into fishing. 00:32:34,640
I mean, I've done a little bit,
but I love the show.
648
00:32:34,640 --> 00:32:37,000
Why do you think it's been
so successful? Do you know what?<
649
00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:40,120
I think it's a little bit of what
Last Of The Summer Wine used
650
00:32:40,120 --> 00:32:43,000
to have. It's older fellas,
it's very gentle.
651
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:46,000
It comes across on camera that you
genuinely love it, though.
652
00:32:46,000 --> 00:32:48,080
I absolutely adore it.
653
00:32:48,080 --> 00:32:50,680
It's, like, not the fishing as such.
654
00:32:50,680 --> 00:32:53,040
I adore at my age just being away.
655
00:32:53,040 --> 00:32:55,360
It's like being 15 again
with your best mate. Yeah.
656
00:32:55,360 --> 00:32:57,960
Messing around on a river bank.
Yeah.
657
00:32:57,960 --> 00:33:00,560
Going to the boozer afterwards.
Yeah. Having a pie,
658
00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,600
cos the wife's not there,
so she won't stop me eating pies.
659
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:06,440
Oh, have you been put on a stop
with pies, have you?
660
00:33:06,440 --> 00:33:09,720
Yeah, cos of me heart stuff, I'm not
allowed to eat anything nice.
661
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:14,280
The second series is on later on
this summer as well.
662
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,480
Summer, yeah. I think we've got
a clip, actually. Let's hav
663
00:33:17,480 --> 00:33:20,280
Bob. Oh, have a drink from that.
664
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:22,040
Isn't it glorious? That's fantastic.
665
00:33:22,040 --> 00:33:25,880
It's a par four this, Paul, which
means it should take four minutes.
666
00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:35,120
I'm sorry, I shouldn't laugh, Paul.
667
00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:36,360
I shouldn't laugh.
668
00:33:36,360 --> 00:33:38,320
And nor should you,
you should be ashamed.
669
00:33:47,840 --> 00:33:49,560
Whoa! Straight in the rough!
670
00:33:49,560 --> 00:33:51,560
Well, I'm not using what you used.
671
00:33:51,560 --> 00:33:53,080
What did you use?
672
00:33:53,080 --> 00:33:55,280
Look at the size of this!
673
00:33:55,280 --> 00:33:57,640
I bet he's played it before.
674
00:33:57,640 --> 00:34:00,280
No-one's been...
675
00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:03,520
Come on, hapless Bob.
676
00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:08,040
Whoa! WHOA! LOOK AT IT GO!
Where did it go?
677
00:34:09,720 --> 00:34:12,640
Nobody knows. No!
678
00:34:18,880 --> 00:34:22,560
Bob, Bob, you're golfing there,
obviously, you fish. Historically,
679
00:34:22,560 --> 00:34:25,920
you're doing boring things
but making them look really fun.
680
00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:29,440
Do you fancy having a crack
at cricket?
681
00:34:29,440 --> 00:34:31,920
Anyway, it's time to see your lap.
682
00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:34,440
Thank you. How did you find
the GT86?
683
00:34:34,440 --> 00:34:39,080
Phwoar! Well, when I went round with
Stig, I found it terrifying,
684
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:43,640
but, actually, when I was at the
controls, not so much. Not really.
685
00:34:43,640 --> 00:34:45,040
It's interesting, Stig.
686
00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:47,920
You're trying to work out what or
who he is, you know? Yeah.
687
00:34:47,920 --> 00:34:50,200
He's got very thin thighs,
have you noticed?
688
00:34:50,200 --> 00:34:53,160
He's really thin. Made me think,
"Maybe he's part thrush?"
689
00:34:57,040 --> 00:35:00,960
Anyway, who'd like to see Bob's
lap? Yes! Come on. <
690
00:35:00,960 --> 00:35:02,920
Let's take a look.
691
00:35:02,920 --> 00:35:06,640
Off the line. I'm not going to say
much here, cos Bob's ace.
692
00:35:06,640 --> 00:35:08,640
Howie, Mickey,
693
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:11,640
let's go down the retail park
and do some doughnuts.
694
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:16,440
And then have some chicken and throw
the bones at Halfords.
695
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:19,320
Were you just in your own little
world at this point?
696
00:35:19,320 --> 00:35:21,200
To be honest with you, yeah.
697
00:35:21,200 --> 00:35:24,320
I mean, it doesn't look quick.
No, it's not quick, I'm sure.
698
00:35:24,320 --> 00:35:26,520
It's doing these sorts of speeds...
699
00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:31,040
..that mean that you miss
the price reductions
700
00:35:31,040 --> 00:35:33,280
on the pasties and the pies.
701
00:35:35,160 --> 00:35:37,400
Pasty gone! Pie gone!
702
00:35:37,400 --> 00:35:39,400
Too fast, boy!
703
00:35:42,200 --> 00:35:44,200
He's coming in to hammerhead now.
704
00:35:44,200 --> 00:35:46,400
It doesn't look quick
but it's controlled.
705
00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:50,440
He was a late entrant
to the competition.
706
00:35:50,440 --> 00:35:54,520
Nobody knows who he is or where
he's come from but he's fast.
707
00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:56,160
He's fast, all right.
708
00:35:56,160 --> 00:35:58,560
You're speaking about yourself
in the third person,
709
00:35:58,560 --> 00:36:00,560
that's the first sign of madness,
isn't it?
710
00:36:00,560 --> 00:36:02,080
Don't brake, Bob. Don't...
711
00:36:02,080 --> 00:36:04,600
Don't even think about it!
Go, go, go, go, go!
712
00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:09,960
Don't brake!
713
00:36:09,960 --> 00:36:12,120
Don't brake. Brake face!
714
00:36:14,440 --> 00:36:17,840
Oh, he's BLEEP his pants,
but
715
00:36:19,360 --> 00:36:21,920
Oh, and home. Thank God.
716
00:36:23,280 --> 00:36:26,640
I don't care how fast that was,
it's the best lap I've ever watched.
717
00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:27,840
Oh, thank you.
718
00:36:32,520 --> 00:36:36,520
You can see the lap board, Bob.
Yeah. Where would you like to
719
00:36:36,520 --> 00:36:38,960
Well, it was very sedate.
720
00:36:38,960 --> 00:36:42,000
I would...I would be so chuffed
if I was above
721
00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:45,200
Dara - Uh-duh! - O Briain.
722
00:36:46,680 --> 00:36:49,240
So, you're setting your sights quite
high there, Bob.
723
00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:51,680
I've got the result. Oh, dear.
724
00:36:51,680 --> 00:36:54,880
And I can tell you, Bob Mortimer...
725
00:36:54,880 --> 00:36:58,800
..you went round our track
in one minute...
726
00:36:58,800 --> 00:37:01,240
..40... Ooh, hey-yup!
727
00:37:01,240 --> 00:37:02,560
..eight...
728
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:07,080
..point four, so, Bob...
You're in! Hey!
729
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:10,000
..you're just under
Frankie Dettori.
730
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,800
You've got to be pleased.
I'm very pleased.
731
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:16,040
Who'd have thought.
732
00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:19,600
Ladies and gentlemen, Bob Mortimer!
Thank you.
733
00:37:23,800 --> 00:37:27,600
Now, time to get back to Borneo
where, as you'll remember,
734
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:30,080
the producers had arranged
for the British Army's Gurkha
735
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:32,240
regiment to interrupt our journey.
736
00:37:32,240 --> 00:37:34,960
That's because the point of this
film had always been to work
737
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:38,600
with the Gurkhas and have a massive
off-road adventure in the jungle,
738
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:42,960
but the jungle the Army sends the
Gurkhas to train in is in Brunei,
739
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:46,160
and the mystery car collector
we were on our way to see
740
00:37:46,160 --> 00:37:48,800
was none other than the Sultan of
Brunei who,
741
00:37:48,800 --> 00:37:51,160
it's fair to say,
wasn't expecting us.
742
00:37:51,160 --> 00:37:54,680
Now, after we landed back in the UK,
having made this film,
743
00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,680
the Sultan announced new laws
making homosexuality
744
00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:03,080
and adultery punishable by death. As
you can imagine, we were horrified.
745
00:38:03,080 --> 00:38:05,560
We'd obviously never have visited
Brunei
746
00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:07,640
had that been the case beforehand.
747
00:38:07,640 --> 00:38:10,240
And, though there's a temporary
halt on enforcing this law,
748
00:38:10,240 --> 00:38:13,080
we thought long and hard about
showing this film.
749
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:15,280
But the Gurkhas were brilliant,
as were the men
750
00:38:15,280 --> 00:38:18,440
and women of Brunei who helped make
this journey possible,
751
00:38:18,440 --> 00:38:20,400
so part two is for them.
752
00:38:23,760 --> 00:38:25,800
Morning in Brunei.
753
00:38:25,800 --> 00:38:29,600
Overnight, our rare cars
had been taken off us
754
00:38:29,600 --> 00:38:31,360
and dropped deep into the jungle.
755
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:37,000
Now, to prove them worthy
of the Sultan's collection once
756
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,440
and for all, we'd each been
assigned a three-man
757
00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,040
squad of Gurkhas to help us
find them,
758
00:38:42,040 --> 00:38:45,560
bring them out alive and deliver
them to his palace.
759
00:38:48,360 --> 00:38:51,040
The heat's baking.
760
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:54,280
We're travelling down the river
to God knows where.
761
00:38:54,280 --> 00:38:56,000
Safe to say...
762
00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,080
..I'm out of me comfort zone.
763
00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:07,320
I know for a fact, that in this
water, it's full of crocodiles.
764
00:39:07,320 --> 00:39:08,760
I'm hanging on.
765
00:39:14,360 --> 00:39:17,040
Is this it? Is this it?
I think we're here.
766
00:39:17,040 --> 00:39:19,240
We're turning round,
we're going somewhere.
767
00:39:20,800 --> 00:39:22,760
What's going on?
768
00:39:22,760 --> 00:39:25,320
We're getting off. Hang on.
What's going on?
769
00:39:27,160 --> 00:39:29,000
We're going.
770
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:35,400
What the hell's going on?
Don't know, mate.
771
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:39,720
Safely ashore, before we could begin
the hunt for our cars,
772
00:39:39,720 --> 00:39:43,120
our new colleagues wanted to give us
the lay of the land.
773
00:39:44,240 --> 00:39:47,680
Did you see this sign? Yeah.
Wild boar, that's a pretty big
774
00:39:47,680 --> 00:39:49,920
Dangerous? Very dangerous.
775
00:39:49,920 --> 00:39:52,280
If you see boar in the jungle,
avoid it.
776
00:39:52,280 --> 00:39:54,280
What do we do? Hide behind a tree?
777
00:39:54,280 --> 00:39:56,440
Yeah, run. Run? Yeah.
778
00:39:56,440 --> 00:40:00,280
You can see there, that's from the
crocodile, from the river crocodile.
779
00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:02,440
Crocodile? They're coming out
to here? Could there be a nest round here?
A nest? Crocodile nest. 00:40:09,400
They put their eggs in. Might be.
What else should we look fo
782
00:40:09,400 --> 00:40:11,360
There's boars, crocodiles.
783
00:40:11,360 --> 00:40:13,640
So be aware of very dry, dry trees.
784
00:40:13,640 --> 00:40:17,760
There could be spiders
and scorpions. Right.
785
00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:20,240
Basically, nothing is nice.
786
00:40:23,720 --> 00:40:28,520
Even with the 2015 Australian I'm
A Celebrity champion for company,
787
00:40:28,520 --> 00:40:30,120
I was well out me depth.
788
00:40:30,120 --> 00:40:31,920
Oh! BLEEP!
789
00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:35,040
Oh. Oh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh, eh.
790
00:40:35,040 --> 00:40:38,360
You all right, Pad? Have to be
careful around here, hadn't y
791
00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:40,800
Oop. Oh, look at that.
792
00:40:42,880 --> 00:40:44,320
Is that one of them
793
00:40:44,320 --> 00:40:47,120
knives that can cut through anything
that you see on QVC?
794
00:40:47,120 --> 00:40:50,560
Just told me be careful with them,
the spikes are poisonous.
795
00:40:50,560 --> 00:40:52,440
Yeah, it's not something
796
00:40:52,440 --> 00:40:55,680
I were going to go and
exactly try and touch.
797
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:59,800
How do you think your car's going
to do in here, Paddy? Mine
798
00:40:59,800 --> 00:41:01,680
It's called the Bagheera, Fred.
799
00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:04,480
The panther, it were made
for this kind of stuff.
800
00:41:08,520 --> 00:41:09,840
Tell you what, Paddy,
801
00:41:09,840 --> 00:41:12,600
I can't wait to show you
what I've done to my car.
802
00:41:12,600 --> 00:41:15,280
What do you mean,
you've done to your car?
803
00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:19,360
Oh! Argh! Careful with that.
804
00:41:19,360 --> 00:41:22,040
Oh, God!
805
00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:24,520
Oh! It's a bit brutal, ain't it?
806
00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:27,920
Where have they put these cars?
807
00:41:35,360 --> 00:41:39,840
What? Have you ever had
rain like that in your life? <
808
00:41:44,200 --> 00:41:47,240
It's actually chilly.
It is cold, ain't it? Chilly!
809
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:52,920
After two hours hard trek,
we finally came across a clearing.
810
00:41:55,200 --> 00:41:58,920
Yes! The cars! Oh. The cars.
811
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:02,120
I can't tell you how pleased I am
to see that Allegro.
812
00:42:02,120 --> 00:42:06,600
Look at her. Look at her. Hang on
a minute. 00:42:09,440
That! Oh, the modifications.
814
00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:12,240
Yeah! Last night, I took it down
the shop with the lads. 00:42:14,320
What do you mean the lads?
The Gurkhas.
816
00:42:14,320 --> 00:42:18,160
Did a few things to it to get it
through. We put bull bars on.
817
00:42:18,160 --> 00:42:22,800
Spare wheel. These are a must,
off-road tyres.
818
00:42:22,800 --> 00:42:27,120
Roof rack, spotlights, spare fuel,
spare tyres, you name it, Paddy,
819
00:42:27,120 --> 00:42:28,600
this car has now got it.
820
00:42:28,600 --> 00:42:30,520
This is just going to plough
through the jungle.
821
00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:32,400
I get what you've done,
but, to be honest,
822
00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:35,200
I think you've ruined it, pal.
He wants something untouched.
823
00:42:35,200 --> 00:42:37,360
But he wants one-offs.
He wants one-offs.
824
00:42:37,360 --> 00:42:39,640
This is now a one-off.
You've muddied it up too much,
825
00:42:39,640 --> 00:42:42,440
he's not going to want that.
Never mind concentrating on my car,
826
00:42:42,440 --> 00:42:45,560
how is that going to get
anywhere around here? Look at it.
827
00:42:45,560 --> 00:42:50,080
And, with that, Fred decided to show
what the Allegro could do.
828
00:42:50,080 --> 00:42:53,120
Come on. Come on, the Allegro.
829
00:43:00,000 --> 00:43:02,320
Oh, it's not going to be easy, this.
830
00:43:02,320 --> 00:43:04,640
Are them the off-road tyres?
831
00:43:06,440 --> 00:43:08,200
Oh!
832
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:09,840
Yes!
833
00:43:18,960 --> 00:43:22,760
Oh, the modifications
have paid off, Fred!
834
00:43:23,920 --> 00:43:27,560
Eventually, though, with almost
no help from the Gurkhas...
835
00:43:27,560 --> 00:43:29,160
Go, go.
836
00:43:30,760 --> 00:43:34,040
..we started to make tracks.
837
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:35,760
Yes, go on!
838
00:43:45,760 --> 00:43:48,640
We'll have to do some clearing,
lads. Yeah.
839
00:43:50,880 --> 00:43:53,480
That's it. Over here. Ready?
840
00:43:56,400 --> 00:43:58,320
Oh, I like this, teamwork.
841
00:44:03,960 --> 00:44:07,640
I seen all that when we got up,
I thought, "We've had it," but no.
842
00:44:07,640 --> 00:44:10,480
Not with these lads.
All hands on log. That's it!
843
00:44:10,480 --> 00:44:12,360
We're on it. You have to move
your Bagheera.
844
00:44:12,360 --> 00:44:15,080
Go move your Bagheera, Paddy.
Bagheera? It's yours in the way.
845
00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:17,160
No, but I can't move it for yours.
846
00:44:22,520 --> 00:44:24,280
How's that?
847
00:44:25,480 --> 00:44:27,720
What are you doing?!
848
00:44:27,720 --> 00:44:30,520
Sorry, Paddy. You've gone into me
pop-ups.
849
00:44:30,520 --> 00:44:32,400
Why would you do that?!
It's a one-off!
850
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:34,600
I can't get any spares for it!
851
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:37,720
Clearing the tree,
we'd found our way
852
00:44:37,720 --> 00:44:40,360
onto one of the long-abandoned
logging tracks
853
00:44:40,360 --> 00:44:42,040
that intersects the jungle.
854
00:44:42,040 --> 00:44:46,400
A track that, with a bit of luck,
might just lead to a road.
855
00:44:47,680 --> 00:44:49,000
Come on. Yes.
856
00:44:49,000 --> 00:44:50,320
Come on.
857
00:44:54,560 --> 00:44:56,920
But luck wasn't on our side.
858
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:02,080
Oh, my word. Can't see the path.
859
00:45:02,080 --> 00:45:03,880
Where are we going?
860
00:45:03,880 --> 00:45:06,440
Oh! Oh, no, we're stopping again.
Yeah.
861
00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:09,400
Not more. Every two minutes
there's something.
862
00:45:10,800 --> 00:45:13,000
Not again. Just gets thicker.
863
00:45:13,000 --> 00:45:15,800
Come on. Mate, we'll get through
that, just a bit of hacking
864
00:45:15,800 --> 00:45:18,720
If we've got through that, we can
get through this. Hang on
865
00:45:18,720 --> 00:45:20,720
Are you saying we're driving
through that?
866
00:45:20,720 --> 00:45:22,600
Yeah, we're going to do a bit of
clearing,
867
00:45:22,600 --> 00:45:25,040
move all this stuff out
the way and let's get through.
868
00:45:25,040 --> 00:45:27,360
What? I've got my off-road tyres
jacked up, I'm fine.
869
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:29,400
Yeah, I haven't. I'm two inches
off the ground.
870
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:31,480
What was you saying before?
"Oh, the Bagheera.
871
00:45:31,480 --> 00:45:34,400
"Even the name's designed for the
jungle." Now you're backing out.
872
00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:38,400
Arjun? Yeah. Is there not another
Is there another way out?
Paddy. Paddy. We're in the jungle,
874
00:45:40,920 --> 00:45:42,640
you're meant to get
through the jungle.
875
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:46,600
Excuse me, I'm having a talk to me
captain. I'm going to ge
876
00:45:46,600 --> 00:45:48,280
Get your pickaxe out,
you'll love that.
877
00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:52,080
Where are we? Where are we now?
So, here. We're here. 00:45:53,640
There's the one option, the river.
879
00:45:53,640 --> 00:45:56,080
Didn't have you down there
for a chicken, Pad. River?
880
00:45:56,080 --> 00:45:58,920
There's no road. There's no road.
881
00:45:58,920 --> 00:46:01,720
If we can just get through a little
bit, we can get to that river.
882
00:46:01,720 --> 00:46:05,360
That's not far. Paddy. What?
883
00:46:05,360 --> 00:46:08,200
What's that? It's better to die
than be a coward.
884
00:46:08,200 --> 00:46:09,600
Look...
885
00:46:09,600 --> 00:46:12,840
Chicken? We're still getting there,
it's not about being a chicken.
886
00:46:12,840 --> 00:46:16,080
This is, this is... Oh, this is...
This is what you're dealing with.
887
00:46:16,080 --> 00:46:20,120
What we've got here is a race,
sunshine.
888
00:46:20,120 --> 00:46:22,120
Paddy. Ignore him. Paddy,
889
00:46:22,120 --> 00:46:24,280
take your Bagheera...
Hang on a minute.
890
00:46:29,200 --> 00:46:31,720
So, Team Bagheera had a new plan.
891
00:46:31,720 --> 00:46:35,440
If we'd come in by river,
we could escape that way, too.
892
00:46:36,480 --> 00:46:39,880
Captain Arjun had spotted an old
fishing settlement nearby.
893
00:46:39,880 --> 00:46:42,840
On foot, it was just a short hack
through the jungle.
894
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:45,600
So, sending a scout on ahead
to look for anything that
895
00:46:45,600 --> 00:46:48,800
could help us float,
we saddled up...
896
00:46:48,800 --> 00:46:52,120
..and fired the Bagheera
back down the logging track.
897
00:46:53,440 --> 00:46:56,080
We're off. We're off.
898
00:46:56,080 --> 00:46:59,000
Lads, let's pick up the pace now,
we've got to beat Paddy.
899
00:47:01,680 --> 00:47:04,760
Oh! Oh, oh, oh! Whoa! Wahey! Oh!
900
00:47:04,760 --> 00:47:09,160
Yes! It's like a railway car. Yeah!
The Bagheera...
901
00:47:09,160 --> 00:47:11,400
..in its natural habitat.
902
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:13,000
It's impressive!
903
00:47:13,000 --> 00:47:15,800
Oh, gets a bit rocky here. Oh!
904
00:47:15,800 --> 00:47:18,960
Oh! Oh! That's savage.
905
00:47:18,960 --> 00:47:20,120
Oh!
906
00:47:21,360 --> 00:47:23,040
What the hell?!
907
00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:26,800
Oh! He'll still be hacking his way
through the jungle.
908
00:47:29,520 --> 00:47:31,760
For now, though, I need my machete.
909
00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:35,000
Words I'd never thought I say, that.
"I need my machete."
910
00:47:43,480 --> 00:47:45,400
Come on, lads, we've got to beat
Paddy now.
911
00:47:47,880 --> 00:47:49,680
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
912
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:51,520
Whoa!
913
00:47:51,520 --> 00:47:56,280
It is doing the business now, boys!
I like this car! Yeah! 00:47:59,600
We are on it now!
915
00:47:59,600 --> 00:48:00,840
Whoa!
916
00:48:00,840 --> 00:48:03,720
Wow! Oh!
917
00:48:03,720 --> 00:48:08,120
But it's sideways, though.
Look at this!
918
00:48:08,120 --> 00:48:10,480
While Paddy McCrae
was on the charge,
919
00:48:10,480 --> 00:48:14,840
I was doing whatever I could
to keep the Allegro moving.
920
00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:16,520
Heave!
921
00:48:17,600 --> 00:48:19,000
Come on, we can do it!
922
00:48:19,000 --> 00:48:21,920
Argh! Heave! Push!
923
00:48:21,920 --> 00:48:24,600
Yes! Yeah! Come on!
924
00:48:24,600 --> 00:48:28,600
Right, stop it. Stop, stop, stop,
stop! Oh!
925
00:48:30,320 --> 00:48:32,320
Feel like a Shire horse.
926
00:48:32,320 --> 00:48:37,320
A couple of miles east, meanwhile,
Team Bagheera had reached the river.
927
00:48:37,320 --> 00:48:38,480
Right.
928
00:48:39,880 --> 00:48:43,040
That's not the raft, is it?
Oh, this is... We can make better.
929
00:48:44,200 --> 00:48:47,720
We're going to have to make it a lot
better. There's no middle to it.
930
00:48:49,760 --> 00:48:52,640
I hate to say it, lads, but we're in
a rush here.
931
00:48:52,640 --> 00:48:55,760
Push! Keep going! Keep going!
932
00:48:55,760 --> 00:48:58,080
Yeah!
933
00:48:58,080 --> 00:49:00,560
Always bend at the knees, Arjun.
934
00:49:00,560 --> 00:49:02,920
Bend at the knees not the back.
935
00:49:02,920 --> 00:49:07,760
Down at the water, the
plan was simple - bulk up the raft,
936
00:49:07,760 --> 00:49:09,480
build a slipway...
937
00:49:09,480 --> 00:49:12,320
Have you got it? Try, Paddy? Yeah.
938
00:49:12,320 --> 00:49:14,160
..and don't sink
the Bagheera.
939
00:49:14,160 --> 00:49:16,560
Right. I'm going to bring her down.
940
00:49:19,280 --> 00:49:21,520
Here we go. This side. Yep.
941
00:49:21,520 --> 00:49:24,280
A little bit still. Still. Still.
942
00:49:24,280 --> 00:49:26,400
OK!
943
00:49:27,800 --> 00:49:29,520
Doesn't help with the bloody rain.
944
00:49:30,680 --> 00:49:32,520
OK. Little bit. Yeah.
945
00:49:41,160 --> 00:49:44,320
Yeah? Yes. That's good.
946
00:49:49,040 --> 00:49:51,520
OK. Come in, come in.
947
00:49:51,520 --> 00:49:53,800
Good. We're on, boys!
948
00:49:53,800 --> 00:49:57,280
Good. We're on! We're on.
949
00:49:57,280 --> 00:49:58,840
He's left me.
950
00:49:58,840 --> 00:50:00,640
Give him... Nothing.
951
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:04,360
Oh, my word.
952
00:50:06,040 --> 00:50:09,560
It's not the easiest path...
but it's the most rewarding.
953
00:50:11,480 --> 00:50:15,200
Look at this. We're moving,
we're moving! We're only moving!
954
00:50:15,200 --> 00:50:17,080
This car just amazes me.
955
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:20,320
And it might just have found
a way out.
956
00:50:20,320 --> 00:50:23,600
Oh-ho-ho-ho! Come on, we're back!
957
00:50:23,600 --> 00:50:27,240
Come on, come on. Get in, lads.
958
00:50:27,240 --> 00:50:29,440
Out on the raft, meanwhile,
959
00:50:29,440 --> 00:50:32,560
Operation River Rapids
was under way.
960
00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:36,600
Although, to be fair,
not quite as rapidly as we'd hoped.
961
00:50:36,600 --> 00:50:40,040
So, to keep up morale,
I broke out the refreshments.
962
00:50:41,480 --> 00:50:43,800
Time to get out the big guns.
963
00:50:43,800 --> 00:50:46,160
I've got the Angel Delight.
964
00:50:46,160 --> 00:50:48,120
Oh, thanks. Have a cup.
965
00:50:49,240 --> 00:50:52,040
On the top, there. On the top.
That's it.
966
00:50:52,040 --> 00:50:53,640
Yeah, that's open.
967
00:50:55,600 --> 00:50:57,800
Oh!
968
00:50:57,800 --> 00:51:01,120
Strawberry. It's the only flavour
to have.
969
00:51:01,120 --> 00:51:02,440
Little bit of milk.
970
00:51:03,680 --> 00:51:06,880
Give it a stir. That's it.
971
00:51:12,400 --> 00:51:15,400
Here we go. We're rallying now.
We're rallying.
972
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:19,120
This is going pretty smooth. Smooth.
It's the car, it's the
973
00:51:19,120 --> 00:51:21,760
I'm glad you noticed. Suspension.
974
00:51:21,760 --> 00:51:24,440
Hydro gas. It's an absolute dream.
975
00:51:25,520 --> 00:51:27,360
Oh, my word.
976
00:51:27,360 --> 00:51:28,840
Oh!
977
00:51:30,600 --> 00:51:32,800
Bloomin' heck!
978
00:51:35,040 --> 00:51:37,600
It's a taste of home. Yeah.
979
00:51:37,600 --> 00:51:42,000
Look at us. Four Gurkhas
eating Angel Delight.
980
00:51:44,640 --> 00:51:47,320
Arjun, I've got to ask,
have you ever met Joanna Lumley?
981
00:51:49,520 --> 00:51:53,600
With the Bagheera gradually
floating out of the running,
982
00:51:53,600 --> 00:51:57,040
Team Allegro was out of the weather
and on the charge.
983
00:51:57,040 --> 00:51:58,600
Oh, my word.
984
00:51:58,600 --> 00:52:01,560
Is that... Is that...? It's not.
Tarmac!
985
00:52:01,560 --> 00:52:06,080
Come on!
986
00:52:09,000 --> 00:52:12,440
Whoa. Bit of land there, boys.
I think we can get in there.
987
00:52:12,440 --> 00:52:16,120
Paddling. Keep paddling, yeah.
That's it, round we go.
988
00:52:16,120 --> 00:52:19,080
Now, look at that
for a handbrake turn.
989
00:52:21,160 --> 00:52:23,280
Push. Whoa! Jesus!
990
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:25,360
Yeah.
991
00:52:25,360 --> 00:52:28,360
Time is of the essence.
992
00:52:28,360 --> 00:52:32,240
Out the way, boys. I'm on, lads!
993
00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:42,480
Come on, Bagheera! Yes! Yes,
Bagheera! Yeah!
994
00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:44,800
We're on, boys!
995
00:52:47,560 --> 00:52:50,040
This was it. The edge of the jungle.
996
00:52:50,040 --> 00:52:51,240
We'd each found a road
997
00:52:51,240 --> 00:52:55,120
and it would now be a race 40 miles
north-east to the Brunei capital,
998
00:52:55,120 --> 00:52:59,520
Bandar Seri Begawan,
and the Sultan's palace.
999
00:53:00,560 --> 00:53:03,680
But, while Flintoff had escaped onto
decent roads and was making
1000
00:53:03,680 --> 00:53:07,880
good time, the river had spat me
out closer to the finish.
1001
00:53:09,800 --> 00:53:13,480
The Bagheera was well
back in the fight.
1002
00:53:13,480 --> 00:53:15,560
Come on!
1003
00:53:15,560 --> 00:53:18,760
Next stop, the Sultan
of Brunei's palace!
1004
00:53:20,280 --> 00:53:23,080
I have got to win this!
1005
00:53:23,080 --> 00:53:27,560
Oh, it's singing. 69 horsepower.
1006
00:53:27,560 --> 00:53:29,760
And they're all charging right now.
1007
00:53:29,760 --> 00:53:32,160
It's got to beat Paddy.
1008
00:53:32,160 --> 00:53:34,520
No way we can be beaten by Paddy.
1009
00:53:34,520 --> 00:53:37,080
This is going to fly to the palace.
1010
00:53:37,080 --> 00:53:38,960
I've got this covered!
1011
00:53:38,960 --> 00:53:41,400
Oh!
1012
00:53:46,160 --> 00:53:47,800
It's horrendous.
1013
00:53:47,800 --> 00:53:50,560
Oh, that is deep. That is deep.
1014
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:53,440
Urgh! Oh!
1015
00:53:53,440 --> 00:53:55,280
Not felt stress like it.
1016
00:53:57,560 --> 00:53:59,200
Oh, God.
1017
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:02,320
When does this road get any better?!
1018
00:54:02,320 --> 00:54:05,560
Which way? Turn left, please. Where?
Hey, is... It's the highway now.
1020
00:54:07,200 --> 00:54:09,520
Is this the motorway? Yeah.
Oh, here we come.
1021
00:54:09,520 --> 00:54:12,040
We're getting on the highway.
Now we're talking.
1022
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:15,920
Look at us, this is the fastest
I've been in it so far. Yeah
1023
00:54:15,920 --> 00:54:18,800
But there's no way that Paddy going
through the way he's gone
1024
00:54:18,800 --> 00:54:21,960
can be going this fast.
Come on, the Allegro!
1025
00:54:21,960 --> 00:54:25,640
Tarmac. Yes, yes, yes, yes!
1026
00:54:25,640 --> 00:54:28,000
Let's go!
1027
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:31,920
Now we're talking.
Let's open the taps. Come on!
1028
00:54:31,920 --> 00:54:34,120
We are motoring!
1029
00:54:35,480 --> 00:54:37,320
This road is fantastic!
1030
00:54:38,360 --> 00:54:42,120
And my odds were about to
improve even more.
1031
00:54:44,600 --> 00:54:47,640
Can you hear that rattle from the
engine now, can't you? What's that?
1032
00:54:51,160 --> 00:54:52,760
It's starting to get hot.
1033
00:54:55,280 --> 00:54:57,360
Oh, there's a bit of smoke.
1034
00:54:57,360 --> 00:55:01,320
Smoke? Yeah. Are we getting smoke?
1035
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:04,120
Oh, no. We're dying.
1036
00:55:04,120 --> 00:55:06,280
I'm losing power.
1037
00:55:06,280 --> 00:55:08,440
Oh, no, no, no, no.
1038
00:55:10,400 --> 00:55:14,640
Smell that? Oh, yeah. Geez!
Wh
1039
00:55:14,640 --> 00:55:17,840
Just getting hot, mate.
Just overheating.
1040
00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:19,760
Just time, though, isn't it? Yeah.
1041
00:55:19,760 --> 00:55:21,880
And we've got no idea
where Paddy is.
1042
00:55:26,680 --> 00:55:29,560
What I'm looking for
is a really massive bridge.
1043
00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:32,960
The Gurkhas said, once you're at
that, you know you're in Bandar.
1044
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:38,160
Got to get to the Bandar Bridge.
1045
00:55:38,160 --> 00:55:42,320
Do you know what? I reckon,
we've got the radiator here,
1046
00:55:42,320 --> 00:55:45,680
this is blocking it.
The number plate.
1047
00:55:45,680 --> 00:55:49,080
We flatten it, might get more
air in. Yeah. 00:55:54,000
Push it down.
1049
00:55:58,120 --> 00:56:01,440
There's bits hanging off,
lost my rear view mirror,
1050
00:56:01,440 --> 00:56:03,800
lost me air vents.
1051
00:56:03,800 --> 00:56:05,400
Oh, God, come on, gears.
1052
00:56:06,400 --> 00:56:09,200
Front bumper's fallen off.
I forgot about that.
1053
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:11,440
Me Matra sign's fallen
off the back.
1054
00:56:12,360 --> 00:56:14,360
God, come on.
1055
00:56:14,360 --> 00:56:16,480
I haven't even seen any signs yet.
1056
00:56:18,600 --> 00:56:20,960
That's it, crack on, the Allegro.
1057
00:56:20,960 --> 00:56:23,240
The suspension
on the front left's gone.
1058
00:56:23,240 --> 00:56:26,440
The foot well down there, where my
feet are, is boiling hot.
1059
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:30,240
But it's still moving.
It's still chugging on.
1060
00:56:30,240 --> 00:56:34,080
I just don't know
for how much longer.
1061
00:56:38,920 --> 00:56:41,360
If I'm not mistaken...
1062
00:56:48,680 --> 00:56:53,080
I'm in Bandar! In the Bagheera!
1063
00:56:58,640 --> 00:57:01,240
Surely be, we're getting closer now,
look.
1064
00:57:01,240 --> 00:57:03,440
We're off the motorway,
we're going through the city,
1065
00:57:03,440 --> 00:57:07,400
I can see the signs. Take a left,
yeah. Bandar Seri Begawan.
1067
00:57:09,360 --> 00:57:11,480
We're getting closer.
1068
00:57:11,480 --> 00:57:13,200
Come on!
1069
00:57:14,440 --> 00:57:20,160
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Not now.
Not now, not here. Oh, God.
1070
00:57:20,160 --> 00:57:22,080
The lights have turned red.
1071
00:57:28,160 --> 00:57:31,320
Sorry! Coming over.
1072
00:57:32,520 --> 00:57:36,360
Oh! Is that it? Yes, thank you.
1073
00:57:36,360 --> 00:57:38,440
Oh, God, has it jumped out again?
1074
00:57:43,640 --> 00:57:47,760
Going to have to try a hard start
in second. Sorry!
1075
00:57:49,120 --> 00:57:50,960
Oh!
1076
00:57:54,440 --> 00:57:57,600
Just find one, big, last push.
Please, please, please.
1077
00:57:59,320 --> 00:58:01,360
Where is it?
1078
00:58:02,400 --> 00:58:05,240
I mean, it's a palace,
how can I miss a palace?
1079
00:58:07,040 --> 00:58:09,080
How close? How close?
1080
00:58:09,080 --> 00:58:11,560
Somewhere around here.
What, we're close to the palace?
1081
00:58:15,080 --> 00:58:16,320
Come on!
1082
00:58:17,840 --> 00:58:20,240
Let's do it
for the Gurkhas, Bagheera.
1083
00:58:20,240 --> 00:58:21,560
Come on!
1084
00:58:22,720 --> 00:58:25,680
There's traffic around now.
Come on, move!
1085
00:58:25,680 --> 00:58:29,280
Whoa! That's not sounding good.
1086
00:58:29,280 --> 00:58:30,960
Do I change to fourth? Do I risk it?
1087
00:58:30,960 --> 00:58:32,440
Oh, I risked it! He's done it!
1088
00:58:34,040 --> 00:58:37,360
Come on. Come on, Palace.
1089
00:58:38,600 --> 00:58:41,120
Left. Left. Oh, you are kidding me.
1090
00:58:41,120 --> 00:58:45,240
You are absolutely kidding me.
1091
00:58:47,160 --> 00:58:49,600
Aye, Paddy. Hey?
1092
00:58:49,600 --> 00:58:53,080
Yous no way you've gone through
the jungle. No way.
1093
00:58:53,080 --> 00:58:54,600
Ask the lads, ask the Gurkhas.
1094
00:58:55,920 --> 00:58:59,360
How's that got here before that?
1095
00:58:59,360 --> 00:59:01,000
Oh. Oh.
1096
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:03,720
See, soon as you get here with that,
this happens.
1097
00:59:03,720 --> 00:59:06,400
Is he in? We've, erm...
1098
00:59:07,880 --> 00:59:10,120
I've bought it for the Sultan.
1099
00:59:10,120 --> 00:59:12,320
No, no, no, don't bring it here.
1100
00:59:12,320 --> 00:59:15,120
Shall I leave the keys with you?
No, no, no, no.
1101
00:59:15,120 --> 00:59:17,760
Shall I leave them in the ignition?
You can't park there.
1102
00:59:17,760 --> 00:59:19,200
I'll leave them in here.
1103
00:59:19,200 --> 00:59:21,440
Park over there. He's saying go.
1104
00:59:21,440 --> 00:59:24,680
Get in the car. Get in the car.
1105
00:59:24,680 --> 00:59:27,280
Unbelievable, boys. Thank you so
much. Thank you.
1106
00:59:27,280 --> 00:59:29,400
Had a good time with you. Thank you.
Boys.
1107
00:59:29,400 --> 00:59:32,400
It's been a pleasure.
Been a pleasure, lads.
1108
00:59:32,400 --> 00:59:36,320
Well done. Well done.
1109
00:59:38,440 --> 00:59:41,720
Impressive cars, them. Impressive.
1110
00:59:41,720 --> 00:59:45,400
I am absolutely staggered
they survived.
1111
00:59:45,400 --> 00:59:48,280
What we've learned is, if you want
to cross a jungle,
1112
00:59:48,280 --> 00:59:52,160
you don't need a 4x4, what you need
is a knackered, old car
1113
00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:55,440
and a highly trained team of
Gurkhas? They were good lads. 00:59:58,440
They were great lads, weren't they?
Good lads. Unbelievable.
1115
00:59:58,440 --> 01:00:00,840
Very good lads. But the cars, I
mean, the Bagheera,
1116
01:00:00,840 --> 01:00:02,920
how on Earth did it survive?
It was amazing!
1117
01:00:02,920 --> 01:00:05,760
Everything that we've thrown at
that car, it just carried on going.
1118
01:00:05,760 --> 01:00:08,400
And the Allegro, you know, the most
unreliable car in history,
1119
01:00:08,400 --> 01:00:10,240
you found the only reliable one
ever made.
1120
01:00:10,240 --> 01:00:12,800
I got to like it more and more
as the journey went on.
1121
01:00:12,800 --> 01:00:15,680
That was British Leyland
at its finest. Well, Chris,
1122
01:00:15,680 --> 01:00:20,240
now it's down to you to choose
which is the best of our rare cars.
1123
01:00:20,240 --> 01:00:24,560
It's like choosing between two
really ugly children.
1124
01:00:24,560 --> 01:00:27,640
Ooh! Erm... I can't... Look,
1125
01:00:27,640 --> 01:00:29,360
I have to give it... Yeah.
1126
01:00:29,360 --> 01:00:30,800
..to the Allegro.
1127
01:00:30,800 --> 01:00:34,880
What?! Yes! I didn't see that
coming! Get in! Get in, Paddy!
1128
01:00:34,880 --> 01:00:39,120
Oh! Yes! The Allegro!
1129
01:00:39,120 --> 01:00:43,160
It's all right, Paddy.
He had off-road tyres on it!
1130
01:00:43,160 --> 01:00:46,640
You did well. OK, look, you're
double denim and you're angr
1131
01:00:46,640 --> 01:00:48,040
Shocked. You're angry.
1132
01:00:48,040 --> 01:00:50,480
But the fact is the Allegro's
an object of hate
1133
01:00:50,480 --> 01:00:52,880
and it succeeded
at something in its life.
1134
01:00:52,880 --> 01:00:56,040
I've got to say, I fell in love
with the Allegro myself.
1135
01:00:56,040 --> 01:00:57,960
Me too and the Bagheera
just kept going.
1136
01:00:57,960 --> 01:01:00,280
You never thought it would get
through that terrain,
1137
01:01:00,280 --> 01:01:03,280
how low it was at the start. Yep.
Both did well.
1138
01:01:04,920 --> 01:01:07,240
I presume you've left them
in the jungle, right? No,
1139
01:01:07,240 --> 01:01:10,240
we were never going to leave them
for the Sultan, were we? No
1140
01:01:10,240 --> 01:01:11,520
Not a chance.
1141
01:01:11,520 --> 01:01:14,800
So, instead, we shipped our rare
car heroes back home
1142
01:01:14,800 --> 01:01:17,840
and we've given them a lick of paint
just to freshen them up.
1143
01:01:17,840 --> 01:01:20,760
Bring them in, lads. In they come.
In they come.
1144
01:01:20,760 --> 01:01:23,520
I love this car. I love this car.
1145
01:01:23,520 --> 01:01:25,560
Come on!
1146
01:01:33,400 --> 01:01:35,080
Yeah!
1147
01:01:36,200 --> 01:01:37,640
I love this car.
1148
01:01:40,520 --> 01:01:42,600
Beautiful. That's all for tonight.
1149
01:01:42,600 --> 01:01:45,640
We'll see you next week.
Thanks for watching. Goodnight.