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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.MY-SUBS.com
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Please, Luke.
Please, please, please.
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How many cups
have you had this morning?
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- None.
- Plus?
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Five, but yours is better.
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I got a kissed.
And I shoplifted.
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Honestly, Lorelai,
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it's not your looks that keep them away.
Think about that.
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People die, we pay.
People crash cars, we pay.
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People lose a foot, we pay.
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At least you have
your new slogan.
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- Did you do something slutty?
- I'm not that happy.
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People are particularly stupid today.
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- Copper boom!
- Norman Mailer, I'm pregnant!
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- Luke can waltz?
- Luke can waltz.
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I just want you to know I'm in.
I am all in.
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It'd be like the first
15 minutes of Saving Private Ryan,
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but at least those guys
got to be in France.
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I am not going to Harvard.
I had sex, but I'm not going to Harvard!
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I stopped being a child
the minute the strip turned pink.
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You jump, I jump, Jack.
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Eternal damnation
is what I'm risking for my rock and roll.
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Oy with the poodles already.
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Because I love you, you idiot.
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I smell snow.
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Hey!
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That's how you look
when you get off a plane?
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That's how you say hello?
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You've been stuffed in a tin can
for seven hours surrounded by people
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with consumption, diphtheria, scabies,
hummus dip, rabid dogs,
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drugged up children attacking
your chair, stealing your change.
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- What airline are you flying?
- You should look drawn and blotchy.
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You should be singing "I Dreamed a Dream"
with a bad haircut
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while selling yourself
to a bunch of French dockworkers.
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Instead, you look perfect.
Admit it. You've been gooped.
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I have not been gooped.
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You're doing yoga in the aisles
in cashmere sweatpants
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while your comfort dog watches
Zoolander 2 on his watch.
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I do blood clot prevention foot pumps
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wearing my Yonah Schimmel Knishery
baseball cap
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while toothpaste dries up
a zit on my chin.
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Wow! Winded!
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- Haven't done that for a while.
- Felt good.
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- I've missed you, kid.
- Missed you, too.
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- How long's it been?
- Feels like years.
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- Coffee and tacos.
- Princess Charlotte iced tea spoons.
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Mmm!
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All right, shall we
get it out of the way?
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Might as well.
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One day? That's all?
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I'm sorry!
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You miss Christmas and Thanksgiving
and all I get is a one day visit?
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What am I, chopped liver?
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I have to be on the red-eye
to London tomorrow.
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- London again.
- For work.
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♪ And the cat's in the cradle
And the silver spoon ♪
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- Oh, now, Emily.
- Oh, wow! Nicely played.
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All right, you win.
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We have limited time.
Should we skip the town tour?
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- We can't skip the town tour.
- Well, we'll keep it short.
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- Le Chat Club closed due to rats.
- Again?
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- We got parking meters.
- Where?
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No one would pay
so they took them out.
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This town is mob ruled.
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Al's Pancake World won
best Christmas decorations again.
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It's that nativity scene
with eggplant Jesus.
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- You can't beat it.
- There's a debate
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about taking the phone booth out.
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Where would Superman change
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when he comes to save our town
from Ben Affleck?
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- I made the same excellent point.
- What's with the signs?
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Ooh, I saved the best for last.
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Taylor has decided that septic systems
are beneath us
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- and he wants to go full-on sewer.
- How can we do that?
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He's going door to door collecting
people's septic tank horror stories.
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- Oh, Lord!
- Then, he'll compile them,
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then he and a panel will stage testimonial
re-enactments for the county assessor.
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Are you telling me this
to get me to stay longer?
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- Is it working?
- Kind of.
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Hi, Miss Patty!
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Rory! You look fabulous!
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She just got off a plane!
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Oh! That's my work phone.
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- It's not ringing.
- Yeah, I know.
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- It's not ringing, either.
- I know.
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- You've got more burners than Omar Little.
- I got a personal phone, a work phone,
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and the phone that gets reception
in Stars Hollow. Theoretically.
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The fact that the entire town
was actually constructed
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in a giant snow globe probably has
an effect on your bar count.
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Ha!
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Hello? Hello? Um...
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Damn! Hello?
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You're breaking up.
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Oh, come on.
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Hello?
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Hold on! Hello?
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Crap! Hello?
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Hi, can you hear me now?
Can you hear me...
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Yes! Hi! Great!
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Um, so, how are you?
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Hello?
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I'm heading to the trees!
I'm... I'm heading to the trees.
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Okay, I'm at the trees.
Hello? Hello?
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I'm gonna try Doose's.
You coming?
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- Nah! I just hit my steps.
- Okay.
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Um, hello?
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Are you still there?
Okay, flip phone!
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Hi! Sorry, it's Rory Gilmore again.
I think Ingrid just...
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Hello? Hello?
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Hello? Crap!
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Hello?
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Hello?
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Oh, yes! Sure, she can.
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Okay, on this number, please.
Thank you.
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Rory! Hey! I didn't know
you were coming in today.
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Oh, it's just a super quick in and out.
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- Cabbage.
- What? Oh.
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Come again.
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Um, so tell me,
what is going on with you?
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- Oh, you don't wanna know.
- Uh-oh.
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- Yeah, Zach got a promotion.
- My God! Why?
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- I don't know. I think they like him.
- Poor guy.
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Yeah, he's a route supervisor now.
Has to wear a tie.
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- I'm so sorry.
- It's fairly devastating.
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I tell him he looks
like a young Leonard Cohen,
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but he looks like his dad.
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Sorry.
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- Yeah.
- Hello? Oh, Ingrid. Finally!
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It's so good to finally connect.
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Lorelai, I'm glad I ran into you.
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- Your house is that way, Kirk.
- I did not get lost again.
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I wanted you to know
that I've started a new business.
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It's a ride share business.
I call it Ööö-ber.
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Uh-oh. There's already an Uber, Kirk.
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No, not Uber.
Ööö-ber. Three "O's" instead of a "U."
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- Okay, but it's, uh...
- Ööö-ber.
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- Right. But it's the...
- Ööö-ber.
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It's a service where people can request
a ride and I will pick them up.
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- Like Uber.
- Except it's Ööö-ber.
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It's the same thing.
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- No, it's not.
- Kirk.
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People use an app to call a car.
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- I have no app.
- Then how do they get a car?
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They call my mother, she calls me,
I find a car and I pick them up.
145
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- So it's a much worse version of Uber.
- And it's pronounced Ööö-ber.
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- Stop making that sound.
- All right. You've got my mom's number.
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Now if you'll excuse me...
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- it is past Petal's bedtime.
- Bye, Petal.
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When did Kirk get a pig?
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Babette heard him and Lulu
talking about having a baby,
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so the whole town chipped in.
It bought us a couple of years.
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- Very smart.
- Ready?
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Hold on.
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I'm not really home
till I get my Stars Hollow Gazette.
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Christmas edition.
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Manger news, Santa's wishes,
eggnog checkpoints, and...
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the Christmas poem.
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- Same one every year.
- Every single year.
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So good to be home.
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What?
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I smell snow.
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♪ Nothing looks so pretty as ♪
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♪ The winter stars a-glittering ♪
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♪ Shining on a freshly fallen snow ♪
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♪ When the blue light of the moon ♪
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♪ Is giving off a loving winter glow ♪
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♪ Such a tender feeling when ♪
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♪ The candlelight a-flickering ♪
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♪ The ember window calls you home ♪
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♪ And the fireplace is crackling ♪
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♪ And giving off a warming winter glow ♪
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♪ Summer with its nights
That last forever has its charm ♪
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♪ Fall with golden leaves
That gather, too ♪
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♪ Spring is all the brighter
After rip storms have blown ♪
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♪ But winter has a magic of its own ♪
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- Got it?
- Yup.
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Are you sure?
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- Oh, yes.
- Come on. Let's get in out of the snow!
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Let's go!
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Luke's gonna be
so excited to see you.
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I can't wait to see him.
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Hello, Rabbi.
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Oh, Paul Anka,
what is she making you wear now?
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No, no.
This one was his idea.
185
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Aw, don't feel bad.
She did the same thing to me.
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- Okay, get ready.
- For what?
187
00:08:54,210 --> 00:08:55,669
- Super-proud Luke.
- What?
188
00:08:55,752 --> 00:08:58,630
Luke! It's a Christmas miracle!
189
00:08:58,714 --> 00:09:01,467
- Ah! There she is, the New Yorker writer!
- Super-proud!
190
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It was just one Talk of the Town piece.
191
00:09:03,177 --> 00:09:04,761
Oh, one Talk of the Town piece?
Come on.
192
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It was terrific.
And that woman you wrote about...
193
00:09:07,013 --> 00:09:09,350
- Naomi Shropshire.
- Yes! I've never heard of her.
194
00:09:09,433 --> 00:09:11,518
- Now I feel like I've met her.
- I appreciate that.
195
00:09:11,602 --> 00:09:14,271
I've never read the New Yorker before,
but now, every week.
196
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I'm glad.
197
00:09:15,481 --> 00:09:17,399
I subscribed to it.
Who says print is dead?
198
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- Only the world.
- Well, what does the world...
199
00:09:20,194 --> 00:09:21,820
- You're eating?
- Just tacos.
200
00:09:21,903 --> 00:09:23,739
- Tacos are tiny.
- I'm making dinner.
201
00:09:23,822 --> 00:09:25,073
- Wow. So I'm fat?
- What?
202
00:09:25,156 --> 00:09:26,700
- Body shaming.
- I am not body shaming.
203
00:09:26,783 --> 00:09:28,494
- Trigger warnings!
- Oh, for Christ's sake.
204
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- War on Christmas!
- I am making two main courses
205
00:09:30,912 --> 00:09:32,623
because you told me
to make two main courses.
206
00:09:32,706 --> 00:09:35,166
- What two main courses?
- Mac and cheese, parmesan cutlets...
207
00:09:35,251 --> 00:09:36,918
- With garlic bread?
- And tater tots!
208
00:09:37,002 --> 00:09:38,086
I am not making tater tots.
209
00:09:38,169 --> 00:09:39,546
- Why not?
- We need sustenance!
210
00:09:39,630 --> 00:09:41,840
- You're eating tacos!
- Tater tots go great with tacos.
211
00:09:41,923 --> 00:09:43,300
Tater tots are great in tacos.
212
00:09:43,384 --> 00:09:44,468
- Yes!
- No!
213
00:09:44,551 --> 00:09:45,927
- Hey! I mean it!
- They're organic.
214
00:09:46,011 --> 00:09:47,388
All right, negotiation's over!
215
00:09:47,471 --> 00:09:49,598
Put the tater tots back,
finish your tacos,
216
00:09:49,681 --> 00:09:51,392
wash your hands,
dinner's almost ready!
217
00:09:51,475 --> 00:09:53,101
Ah! And I saw you grab
those mini donuts.
218
00:09:53,184 --> 00:09:54,395
Put 'em down right now.
219
00:09:54,478 --> 00:09:56,938
I cannot believe the conversations
I have in this room.
220
00:09:57,022 --> 00:09:58,940
I thought cooking was supposed
to be relaxing.
221
00:09:59,024 --> 00:10:00,150
Oh, no.
222
00:10:00,234 --> 00:10:03,069
Don't put that song on
and disappear into Rory's room. Hey!
223
00:10:03,153 --> 00:10:04,195
At least turn it down!
224
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:05,781
- Did my boxes get here?
- Behind the rack.
225
00:10:05,864 --> 00:10:06,865
Great!
226
00:10:06,948 --> 00:10:11,036
So, you finally did it, huh?
Finally gave up the Brooklyn pad?
227
00:10:11,119 --> 00:10:13,997
I did. Lena Dunham will just have
to get along without me.
228
00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:15,666
- Are you gonna miss it?
- A little.
229
00:10:15,749 --> 00:10:16,875
I'm gonna miss it.
230
00:10:16,959 --> 00:10:21,046
It had that early American
tenement shtetl slash Trainspotting vibe
231
00:10:21,129 --> 00:10:23,174
that every mother wants
for her little girl.
232
00:10:23,258 --> 00:10:25,051
It was a perfectly decent apartment.
233
00:10:25,134 --> 00:10:28,179
I liked how you had to avoid the walls
or you'd stick to them.
234
00:10:28,263 --> 00:10:30,222
- One wall.
- See, in some apartments,
235
00:10:30,307 --> 00:10:31,849
you don't have to avoid any walls.
236
00:10:31,933 --> 00:10:34,101
It was a great place.
I just was never there.
237
00:10:34,185 --> 00:10:36,313
Do you know how many nights
I spent there this year?
238
00:10:36,396 --> 00:10:37,939
- Three? Eighteen?
- No. No.
239
00:10:38,022 --> 00:10:39,357
- Forty-six?
- No.
240
00:10:39,441 --> 00:10:42,652
Is this The Price is Right?
If I'm a little under I win, over, I lose?
241
00:10:42,735 --> 00:10:44,612
I don't know exactly
how many nights, okay?
242
00:10:44,696 --> 00:10:46,906
It was not a lot.
Now the building's going condo.
243
00:10:46,989 --> 00:10:50,117
I'm not ready to buy a condo,
so it seemed like the time to say...
244
00:10:50,201 --> 00:10:51,994
- Bye-bye, Brooklyn.
- Bye-bye, Brooklyn.
245
00:10:52,078 --> 00:10:53,455
This box is open.
246
00:10:53,538 --> 00:10:56,123
- Damn that TSA!
- Really? You went through my stuff?
247
00:10:56,207 --> 00:10:59,336
I did. And I must say,
I found it very disappointing.
248
00:10:59,419 --> 00:11:01,170
You found my personal items disappointing?
249
00:11:01,253 --> 00:11:03,089
I thought there'd be
something fun in there,
250
00:11:03,172 --> 00:11:06,092
like a treasure map
or the prequel to Huckleberry Finn
251
00:11:06,175 --> 00:11:09,011
where Huck is a Klan leader
and terrified of water.
252
00:11:09,095 --> 00:11:10,638
I think it's kind of exciting,
you know?
253
00:11:10,722 --> 00:11:12,765
No apartment, no rent, no ties.
254
00:11:12,849 --> 00:11:14,642
I could crash here,
I could crash at Lane's.
255
00:11:14,726 --> 00:11:19,397
I feel like this is my time to be rootless
and just see where life takes me,
256
00:11:19,481 --> 00:11:22,316
and travel wherever there's
a story to write.
257
00:11:22,400 --> 00:11:24,444
I just wish I had remembered
to label my boxes
258
00:11:24,527 --> 00:11:26,446
because now I know where nothing is.
259
00:11:26,529 --> 00:11:28,448
My boots, my coats, my underwear...
260
00:11:28,531 --> 00:11:31,158
- You don't know where your underwear is?
- Could be at Lane's.
261
00:11:31,242 --> 00:11:33,285
You've been without your underwear
since you moved?
262
00:11:33,370 --> 00:11:34,286
Don't judge.
263
00:11:34,371 --> 00:11:36,748
I'm Gwen freakin' Stefani.
Want to borrow some underwear?
264
00:11:36,831 --> 00:11:40,126
I'd like to stop talking about underwear.
I'm looking for my lucky outfit.
265
00:11:40,209 --> 00:11:43,170
Any outfit you wear without underwear
will be your lucky outfit.
266
00:11:43,254 --> 00:11:45,172
I have a big meeting with Condé Nast
267
00:11:45,256 --> 00:11:48,050
and I have this look
that makes me feel like Diane Sawyer.
268
00:11:48,134 --> 00:11:49,343
Is it a Mike Nichols mask?
269
00:11:49,427 --> 00:11:51,137
I'll get it!
270
00:11:51,220 --> 00:11:52,221
What's this?
271
00:11:52,304 --> 00:11:56,018
Oh! That is a box of New Yorker magazines
with your fancy piece in it.
272
00:11:56,101 --> 00:11:57,269
Box one of six.
273
00:11:57,352 --> 00:11:59,104
- You're kidding.
- Super-proud!
274
00:11:59,187 --> 00:12:00,523
Hey, that guy's here.
275
00:12:00,606 --> 00:12:03,275
- What guy?
- You know... uh, Jeffrey.
276
00:12:03,358 --> 00:12:04,985
- Who? Who?
- Allen? Billy?
277
00:12:05,068 --> 00:12:07,362
There's nothing remotely similar
about those names.
278
00:12:07,446 --> 00:12:09,698
- You know. Him. Your guy.
- Paul?
279
00:12:09,782 --> 00:12:11,158
- Paul. Yes, Paul.
- Paul's not here.
280
00:12:11,241 --> 00:12:12,367
- Paul's here.
- Who's Paul?
281
00:12:12,451 --> 00:12:16,163
Paul, my... Paul, my boyfriend?
Oh, crap! Paul is here!
282
00:12:16,246 --> 00:12:17,956
- Why is Paul here?
- I invited him for dinner,
283
00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:21,919
and I totally forgot.
Crap, crap, crap!
284
00:12:22,002 --> 00:12:24,380
I can't believe you forgot
Rory's boyfriend Paul.
285
00:12:26,339 --> 00:12:27,966
You came.
286
00:12:28,050 --> 00:12:29,885
Of course I came.
287
00:12:31,136 --> 00:12:33,013
- For you.
- So beautiful.
288
00:12:33,096 --> 00:12:36,308
- And indigenous to Peru. Fun fact.
- So fun.
289
00:12:36,391 --> 00:12:39,394
- Hey. Look who's here.
- Paul! Wow!
290
00:12:39,478 --> 00:12:40,604
- So good to see you.
- You, too.
291
00:12:40,688 --> 00:12:42,815
- Thank you for the invite.
- Is your hair different?
292
00:12:42,898 --> 00:12:44,316
- Uh, no.
- Lose some weight?
293
00:12:44,399 --> 00:12:45,776
- Nope.
- Gain some weight?
294
00:12:45,859 --> 00:12:47,277
I'm going to put these in water.
295
00:12:47,361 --> 00:12:49,071
- Come on, Paul.
- Yes, I will follow.
296
00:12:51,907 --> 00:12:53,200
I've never seen that boy before.
297
00:12:53,283 --> 00:12:54,743
- See?
- They've been together for months.
298
00:12:54,827 --> 00:12:56,495
- I think it's been a year.
- He's been to the house!
299
00:12:56,579 --> 00:12:57,580
I know!
300
00:12:57,663 --> 00:13:00,415
He's like a superhero, but his power
is that you can't remember him
301
00:13:00,499 --> 00:13:01,667
no matter how much time
you spend with him.
302
00:13:01,750 --> 00:13:03,752
Kind of like every Marvel movie ever.
303
00:13:04,503 --> 00:13:05,796
- Care for something to drink, Pete?
- Paul.
304
00:13:05,879 --> 00:13:07,047
Paul. I'm...
305
00:13:07,130 --> 00:13:10,092
Pete is our, uh, dog's friend.
Our dog's name is Paul.
306
00:13:10,175 --> 00:13:12,052
- Last name Anka.
- Weirdly close to my last name.
307
00:13:12,135 --> 00:13:15,013
- Right. Very close.
- This is all I could find.
308
00:13:15,097 --> 00:13:16,098
- That'll do.
- Okay.
309
00:13:16,181 --> 00:13:17,265
- Red okay...
- Paul.
310
00:13:17,349 --> 00:13:20,102
- I got it now. Paul, red, Paul?
- Red sounds good.
311
00:13:20,185 --> 00:13:21,812
- Oh, hey, Luke.
- Yeah.
312
00:13:21,895 --> 00:13:23,396
- I brought it.
- You...
313
00:13:23,481 --> 00:13:26,358
The antique wrench
we talked about the last time I was here.
314
00:13:26,441 --> 00:13:27,610
- Remember?
- Uh-huh.
315
00:13:27,693 --> 00:13:28,903
We went fishing on your boat.
316
00:13:28,987 --> 00:13:31,405
You told me your dad owned
a hardware store. Now it's a diner.
317
00:13:31,490 --> 00:13:33,492
I told you my grandfather
owned a hardware store
318
00:13:33,575 --> 00:13:34,743
and I kept all of his tools?
319
00:13:34,826 --> 00:13:35,910
I remember the boat.
320
00:13:35,994 --> 00:13:37,787
You said your dad
had a wrench that he loved
321
00:13:37,871 --> 00:13:38,997
and you wish you'd kept it.
322
00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:41,290
My grandfather also had one
that he loved and I did keep it.
323
00:13:41,374 --> 00:13:43,167
I'll go get it.
324
00:13:43,251 --> 00:13:45,461
I just forgot the entire conversation
we just had.
325
00:13:45,545 --> 00:13:47,171
Come on, guys.
326
00:13:47,255 --> 00:13:49,173
Thanks for inviting me over,
by the way.
327
00:13:49,257 --> 00:13:51,009
I don't get to see
a lot of Rory these days.
328
00:13:51,092 --> 00:13:54,012
At least I get to see her
for our anniversary, which is great.
329
00:13:54,095 --> 00:13:55,972
Can you believe it's two years?
330
00:13:56,055 --> 00:13:57,974
The cotton anniversary.
331
00:13:58,057 --> 00:14:00,602
Okay, I got it.
Here we go.
332
00:14:00,685 --> 00:14:03,855
Here it is.
Look at the, uh, date on the back.
333
00:14:04,564 --> 00:14:06,399
- Oh! And Lorelai...
- Huh?
334
00:14:07,316 --> 00:14:09,110
The virus protection software
I told you about.
335
00:14:09,193 --> 00:14:10,612
Want me to pop it on your computer?
336
00:14:10,695 --> 00:14:12,321
- Where is it? All right.
- Living room.
337
00:14:12,405 --> 00:14:14,616
It's got the Sadness stickers
from Inside Out on it?
338
00:14:14,699 --> 00:14:16,951
- You remembered.
- Okay.
339
00:14:17,911 --> 00:14:21,039
- It's nice that he remembered.
- It's nice that somebody remembered.
340
00:14:21,122 --> 00:14:22,749
This is a very nice wrench.
341
00:14:26,335 --> 00:14:28,713
- What the hell did you do here?
- What?
342
00:14:28,797 --> 00:14:30,632
The DVR is completely full.
343
00:14:30,715 --> 00:14:33,259
I have no idea
what any of these things are.
344
00:14:33,342 --> 00:14:35,762
Restless Virgins, Deadly Honeymoon...
345
00:14:35,845 --> 00:14:37,055
Lifetime Movie Channel classics.
346
00:14:37,138 --> 00:14:39,182
Killer Crush, Mini's First Time.
347
00:14:39,265 --> 00:14:41,976
A rebellious girl hooks up
with an escort agency
348
00:14:42,060 --> 00:14:45,104
where her stepfather is a client.
Alec Baldwin. Pre-yoga.
349
00:14:45,188 --> 00:14:46,439
- So, keep?
- Keep.
350
00:14:46,523 --> 00:14:48,608
- Okay. Accidental Obsession.
- Keep.
351
00:14:48,692 --> 00:14:50,234
- Murder in a College Town.
- Keep.
352
00:14:50,318 --> 00:14:51,444
- Crimes of the Mind.
- Keep!
353
00:14:51,528 --> 00:14:55,657
Fatal Acquittal, Not With My Daughter,
Baby Sellers, Unfinished Betrayal,
354
00:14:55,740 --> 00:14:58,076
The Girl He Met Online,
The Boy He Met Online,
355
00:14:58,159 --> 00:15:00,411
Deadly Vows, Lying Eyes, Lies He Told,
356
00:15:00,494 --> 00:15:01,747
My Nanny's Secret.
357
00:15:01,831 --> 00:15:03,999
Did the remote break?
Do we only get one channel now?
358
00:15:04,083 --> 00:15:05,960
- Where's my pajamas?
- In the drawer.
359
00:15:06,043 --> 00:15:07,670
- Ugh. Felix...
- Oscar...
360
00:15:07,753 --> 00:15:10,715
I like my pajamas on the chair,
all crinkled up and ready for bed,
361
00:15:10,798 --> 00:15:11,882
not suffocating in a drawer.
362
00:15:11,966 --> 00:15:13,467
Your pajamas are not puppies.
363
00:15:13,551 --> 00:15:15,636
You should find my bedtime rituals
endearing by now.
364
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:16,887
What's taking you so long?
365
00:15:16,971 --> 00:15:19,348
You know, I still can't get over
that piece Rory wrote.
366
00:15:19,431 --> 00:15:22,434
Oh, really? 'Cause you've been
so stingy with your praise.
367
00:15:23,227 --> 00:15:24,519
Are those...
368
00:15:24,604 --> 00:15:26,480
- Puppies!
- Right.
369
00:15:29,441 --> 00:15:32,527
- That is one great kid you got.
- Eh, she's all right.
370
00:15:32,611 --> 00:15:35,155
She's freaked out she's gonna hear
our rollicking lovemaking.
371
00:15:35,239 --> 00:15:39,451
- What are you doing?
- Organizing my magazines by Kardashian.
372
00:15:39,534 --> 00:15:41,536
- You're stalling.
- I'm organizing.
373
00:15:41,621 --> 00:15:43,538
You're not going
to have your dream tonight.
374
00:15:43,623 --> 00:15:46,291
My dirty bathroom dream?
Yes, I am.
375
00:15:46,375 --> 00:15:47,793
Just come to bed!
376
00:15:47,877 --> 00:15:49,795
Five nights in a row.
Five nights in a row!
377
00:15:49,879 --> 00:15:52,381
I'm looking for a bathroom
and then I find one
378
00:15:52,464 --> 00:15:54,592
and it's like the Eastern Promises
steam room scene,
379
00:15:54,675 --> 00:15:56,510
only the stuff on the walls ain't blood.
380
00:15:56,594 --> 00:15:59,388
- Don't think about it.
- The bathrooms are all giant.
381
00:15:59,471 --> 00:16:01,431
There's stalls
and urinals, urinals, urinals...
382
00:16:01,515 --> 00:16:02,432
It's a dream!
383
00:16:02,516 --> 00:16:04,977
Last night, it was the bathroom
at the Radio City Music Hall.
384
00:16:05,060 --> 00:16:06,312
- The Rockettes were there.
- Okay.
385
00:16:06,395 --> 00:16:08,063
- They kept slipping.
- I got it.
386
00:16:08,147 --> 00:16:09,690
Let's just sleep standing up like cows.
387
00:16:09,774 --> 00:16:12,693
You come to bed, you can watch
one of these ridiculous movies.
388
00:16:12,777 --> 00:16:14,361
- All the way through?
- Yes.
389
00:16:14,444 --> 00:16:17,531
You won't turn it off
when the suspicious sister, co-worker,
390
00:16:17,615 --> 00:16:20,701
or gay best friend investigates
the abandoned cabin by the lake
391
00:16:20,784 --> 00:16:22,703
where they find proof
to expose the killer
392
00:16:22,786 --> 00:16:24,538
and they get hit in the head
with a hammer?
393
00:16:24,622 --> 00:16:26,791
- Nope.
- Rory will think we're rollicking.
394
00:16:26,874 --> 00:16:28,583
Well, no one ever said she was dumb.
395
00:16:32,630 --> 00:16:35,133
The deal for $49 billion
or about $95 per...
396
00:16:36,301 --> 00:16:37,803
Don't touch the handle!
397
00:16:37,886 --> 00:16:39,220
...boards have approved the deal
398
00:16:39,304 --> 00:16:42,015
and now begin
the long regulatory process that follows.
399
00:16:42,098 --> 00:16:43,892
All of this...
400
00:16:52,734 --> 00:16:55,445
...four, five, six, seven, eight.
401
00:16:55,528 --> 00:16:58,740
Repeat from the top.
A five, six, seven, eight...
402
00:16:58,824 --> 00:17:02,661
Shuffle, a three,
a five, a seven and a flap.
403
00:17:02,744 --> 00:17:05,831
Flap, flap, ball change,
flap, flap, flap, again.
404
00:17:05,914 --> 00:17:07,791
Shuffle! A three!
405
00:17:07,874 --> 00:17:09,000
Too loud?
406
00:17:09,084 --> 00:17:11,712
- No. Just loud enough.
- Ball change...
407
00:17:11,795 --> 00:17:14,047
- What you doing?
- Stress tap dancing.
408
00:17:14,130 --> 00:17:16,257
Helps get out my anxieties.
Keeps me calm.
409
00:17:16,341 --> 00:17:18,677
How long have you been
tapping your troubles away?
410
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:21,179
About a month.
I needed something to shut my brain off.
411
00:17:21,262 --> 00:17:23,390
I tried meditation. Tried jogging.
412
00:17:23,473 --> 00:17:26,184
Then I read about this.
Now, when I can't sleep,
413
00:17:26,267 --> 00:17:27,811
- I get up and tap!
- Cool.
414
00:17:28,729 --> 00:17:30,646
- You know you're terrible.
- Yeah, I know.
415
00:17:30,731 --> 00:17:32,023
Six, seven and shuffle!
416
00:17:32,107 --> 00:17:33,358
- Where are you going?
- Nowhere.
417
00:17:33,441 --> 00:17:35,568
- Do not get your phone.
- What are you talking about?
418
00:17:35,651 --> 00:17:37,779
- Do not film this.
- I'm checking on Paul Anka.
419
00:17:37,863 --> 00:17:39,114
Dance numbers terrify him.
420
00:17:39,197 --> 00:17:42,283
This is my stress relief.
Do not make my stress relief stressful!
421
00:17:42,367 --> 00:17:43,785
- Damn it. Where is it?
- I hid it.
422
00:17:43,869 --> 00:17:45,578
You are awful.
423
00:17:45,661 --> 00:17:47,622
You think I don't know you?
I have your eyes.
424
00:17:47,706 --> 00:17:49,165
- Fine.
- You want some coffee?
425
00:17:49,249 --> 00:17:51,835
- Yes, please.
- You sure I didn't wake you up?
426
00:17:51,918 --> 00:17:53,879
Not unless you were dressed
like a urinal cake.
427
00:17:54,796 --> 00:17:56,047
You hungry?
428
00:17:56,131 --> 00:17:58,800
- 'Cause you said "cake"?
- Yes.
429
00:17:58,884 --> 00:18:00,051
Kind of.
430
00:18:06,016 --> 00:18:08,560
- It's so nice to have you home.
- I wish you were sleeping.
431
00:18:08,644 --> 00:18:11,814
- I wish you were sleeping.
- Well, I have a lot on my mind.
432
00:18:11,898 --> 00:18:14,233
- My piece for the Atlantic fell through.
- No! When?
433
00:18:14,316 --> 00:18:17,194
- Today. That was the call that I got.
- Why?
434
00:18:17,278 --> 00:18:19,530
They just bumped it for other stuff.
It happens.
435
00:18:19,613 --> 00:18:20,865
Sorry.
436
00:18:20,948 --> 00:18:23,325
It's okay.
I have a lot of irons in the fire.
437
00:18:23,409 --> 00:18:26,495
I'm still getting a lot of good responses
from the New Yorker piece so...
438
00:18:26,578 --> 00:18:29,040
Did I tell you
that I attacked Gail Collins?
439
00:18:29,123 --> 00:18:31,667
- You did not.
- I was in the lobby of the Times Building,
440
00:18:31,751 --> 00:18:35,379
hoping to talk to the metro editor.
Suddenly, Gail Collins walks in.
441
00:18:35,462 --> 00:18:37,714
I had met her once
at the 92nd Street Y.
442
00:18:37,799 --> 00:18:40,384
I wasn't expecting to see her
and I was jacked up on coffee
443
00:18:40,467 --> 00:18:42,511
and I just lunged at her,
444
00:18:42,594 --> 00:18:44,972
which she interpreted
as a stranger lunging at her.
445
00:18:45,056 --> 00:18:46,723
- So sensitive.
- I felt so stupid.
446
00:18:46,808 --> 00:18:48,309
She was freaking out.
She gave me her wallet.
447
00:18:48,392 --> 00:18:50,937
- Did you keep it?
- No.
448
00:18:51,020 --> 00:18:53,105
But, I don't know,
she was really nice about it.
449
00:18:53,189 --> 00:18:56,483
She realized who I was and asked
the security guards to get off me.
450
00:18:56,567 --> 00:19:00,279
Well, here's the upside.
You definitely made an impression.
451
00:19:00,362 --> 00:19:02,824
It's okay.
I have a lot of irons in the fire.
452
00:19:02,907 --> 00:19:04,366
I heard.
You should become a blacksmith.
453
00:19:04,450 --> 00:19:06,118
What about you?
454
00:19:06,202 --> 00:19:09,455
- Mmm... what about me?
- Are you having the dreams again?
455
00:19:09,538 --> 00:19:13,750
I'm just stressed out
and kind of feeling my mortality lately.
456
00:19:13,835 --> 00:19:16,378
- What do you mean?
- The other day, a guest left a brochure
457
00:19:16,462 --> 00:19:17,754
in their room after they checked out.
458
00:19:17,839 --> 00:19:20,842
It was for Anthem of the Seas.
So I'm flipping through,
459
00:19:20,925 --> 00:19:23,845
looking at swimming pools
and pictures of the buffet.
460
00:19:23,928 --> 00:19:27,264
Everything's planned
and they have Wi-Fi and Rock of Ages
461
00:19:27,348 --> 00:19:30,142
and you don't have to bring money.
I found myself thinking...
462
00:19:30,226 --> 00:19:32,144
- No.
- maybe it would be nice
463
00:19:32,228 --> 00:19:33,312
to take a cruise!
464
00:19:33,395 --> 00:19:35,106
- No!
- And then I broke a hip.
465
00:19:35,189 --> 00:19:37,358
- You are not going on a cruise.
- I know.
466
00:19:37,441 --> 00:19:40,821
- Is everything okay with Luke?
- Yeah, everything's fine.
467
00:19:40,904 --> 00:19:43,698
I annoy him and he builds cabinets.
Or that's what I think.
468
00:19:43,781 --> 00:19:45,242
He says we need the storage.
469
00:19:45,325 --> 00:19:47,577
Do you think it's because of Grandpa?
470
00:19:48,328 --> 00:19:49,871
My sudden need to cruise?
471
00:19:50,873 --> 00:19:52,875
- Yeah.
- No.
472
00:19:52,958 --> 00:19:55,627
I don't know.
Maybe.
473
00:19:56,669 --> 00:19:57,670
I miss him.
474
00:20:02,926 --> 00:20:04,552
To absent friends.
475
00:20:05,136 --> 00:20:06,680
To absent friends.
476
00:20:08,390 --> 00:20:11,017
People might say drinking coffee
in the middle of the night
477
00:20:11,101 --> 00:20:12,269
could hinder your sleep.
478
00:20:12,352 --> 00:20:13,728
People are dumb.
479
00:20:33,123 --> 00:20:34,833
Caesar, let's go! Where's my toast?
480
00:20:34,917 --> 00:20:36,209
- Toaster's down.
- What?
481
00:20:36,293 --> 00:20:39,004
Oh, wait, it's just unplugged.
Toast coming right up.
482
00:20:39,712 --> 00:20:43,008
Over easy, scrambled soft,
whites with cheese. Coffee?
483
00:20:43,091 --> 00:20:44,217
What's the Wi-Fi password?
484
00:20:44,301 --> 00:20:46,929
- Dinerluke. Capital "D," small "L."
- Pick up!
485
00:20:47,012 --> 00:20:50,765
Luke, I need to talk to you
about your septic tank testimonial.
486
00:20:50,848 --> 00:20:53,226
I'm not giving you
a septic tank testimonial, Taylor.
487
00:20:53,310 --> 00:20:55,187
If you're confused by what I need,
488
00:20:55,270 --> 00:20:57,898
I brought some sample testimonials
to guide you.
489
00:20:57,981 --> 00:21:00,567
I think you'll find
Mimsy Frupp's description
490
00:21:00,650 --> 00:21:02,777
of her granddaughter's disastrous day
491
00:21:02,860 --> 00:21:05,863
jumping into fall leaves
especially edifying.
492
00:21:05,948 --> 00:21:09,701
She thought the tyke was diving
into an autumnal paradise.
493
00:21:09,784 --> 00:21:12,038
Instead she found herself submerged...
494
00:21:12,121 --> 00:21:14,916
- Taylor, order something or get out.
- Fine.
495
00:21:15,833 --> 00:21:17,960
New menu. I'll need a minute.
496
00:21:18,044 --> 00:21:19,378
Excuse me. Password?
497
00:21:19,462 --> 00:21:21,505
DINERDANES321. All caps.
498
00:21:21,589 --> 00:21:23,967
- Hey, there she is! Get in here!
- What about me?
499
00:21:24,050 --> 00:21:25,509
Ah, you get in here, too.
500
00:21:25,593 --> 00:21:27,511
- Should I be nervous?
- As a rule, yes.
501
00:21:27,595 --> 00:21:30,473
Okay. Something I want you to see.
502
00:21:30,556 --> 00:21:32,475
New menus.
503
00:21:32,558 --> 00:21:33,935
Very nice.
504
00:21:34,018 --> 00:21:36,187
- Notice anything?
- Oh... nope.
505
00:21:36,270 --> 00:21:37,188
Turn it over.
506
00:21:39,107 --> 00:21:42,401
- That's my New Yorker piece. Wow!
- Super-proud!
507
00:21:42,485 --> 00:21:44,028
For everyone to read.
508
00:21:44,112 --> 00:21:46,114
- Now what can I get you?
- Coffee, please.
509
00:21:46,197 --> 00:21:49,408
- I have a list and I need it all to go.
- You got it.
510
00:21:51,160 --> 00:21:54,288
- That's my piece.
- Wrapped in plastic.
511
00:21:54,372 --> 00:21:56,707
You knew when Luke moved in with me
he'd turn weird.
512
00:21:56,790 --> 00:22:00,336
Thanks for your patronage!
Be sure to call my mom and rate me!
513
00:22:00,419 --> 00:22:02,505
Five stars is appreciated!
514
00:22:04,007 --> 00:22:06,050
First official fare!
515
00:22:06,134 --> 00:22:08,927
That elderly woman
that I successfully drove here?
516
00:22:09,012 --> 00:22:13,016
That is widow Joy Puddleston
from 88 Peach Tree Drive.
517
00:22:13,099 --> 00:22:15,351
Right now,
thanks to my new business,
518
00:22:15,434 --> 00:22:18,854
Widow Puddleston
is only ten minutes late for chemo!
519
00:22:18,937 --> 00:22:19,938
Are you ordering?
520
00:22:20,023 --> 00:22:22,650
Fudgy banana milkshake.
I am flying, man!
521
00:22:22,733 --> 00:22:24,360
- This is gonna work.
- Terrific.
522
00:22:24,443 --> 00:22:27,697
- This area over here would be perfect.
- Perfect for what, Kirk?
523
00:22:27,780 --> 00:22:30,574
Have you heard about
my new business, Luke? Ööö-ber?
524
00:22:30,658 --> 00:22:31,659
Do not make that sound!
525
00:22:31,742 --> 00:22:35,705
I need to find a place where,
after people call, they can get picked up.
526
00:22:35,788 --> 00:22:38,666
- This corner would work.
- That's not how Uber works.
527
00:22:38,749 --> 00:22:40,459
Well, this isn't Uber, this is...
528
00:22:41,419 --> 00:22:44,297
Luke, you need to control your woman.
529
00:22:44,380 --> 00:22:45,965
Oh!
530
00:22:46,591 --> 00:22:47,967
Those aren't even your bagels!
531
00:22:48,052 --> 00:22:49,719
I'm buying them new ones.
532
00:22:51,555 --> 00:22:53,682
Oh, crap! I forgot about Paul?
533
00:22:53,765 --> 00:22:56,185
You're kidding!
He was at the house this whole time?
534
00:22:56,268 --> 00:22:58,812
- Didn't you notice his car out front?
- No, didn't you?
535
00:22:58,895 --> 00:23:00,605
There you are.
536
00:23:00,689 --> 00:23:02,482
Hi, Paul.
I'm so sorry, I just...
537
00:23:02,566 --> 00:23:05,569
It was my fault. I needed her
to come look at something with me.
538
00:23:05,652 --> 00:23:08,447
I forgot to leave you a note.
And it's...
539
00:23:08,530 --> 00:23:11,658
- I was about to call you. Are you hungry?
- Not really.
540
00:23:11,741 --> 00:23:13,785
- Not really?
- I'm not a breakfast person.
541
00:23:13,868 --> 00:23:15,329
As in, you already had breakfast?
542
00:23:15,412 --> 00:23:17,038
- No.
- Did you know about this?
543
00:23:17,122 --> 00:23:18,665
I'm gonna wash my hands.
Order me a tea?
544
00:23:18,748 --> 00:23:19,874
- Tea? No.
- Yes.
545
00:23:19,958 --> 00:23:21,126
- Go on.
- Okay.
546
00:23:22,711 --> 00:23:26,340
- You have got to cut that poor boy loose.
- I keep meaning to and I keep...
547
00:23:26,423 --> 00:23:28,217
- Forgetting!
- So, so sad!
548
00:23:28,300 --> 00:23:32,095
Your breakfast list, coffee to go.
Have a good flight. Come back soon.
549
00:23:32,179 --> 00:23:34,556
- And take a menu.
- Thanks, Luke.
550
00:23:38,393 --> 00:23:40,145
- Bye.
- Bye.
551
00:23:53,158 --> 00:23:55,869
Crap, crap, crap! Ooh!
552
00:23:57,371 --> 00:23:58,913
- Hey, got the food.
- Ready to go?
553
00:23:58,997 --> 00:24:00,665
Absolutely.
554
00:24:04,128 --> 00:24:05,629
I just don't understand it.
555
00:24:05,712 --> 00:24:07,005
Before we got married,
556
00:24:07,088 --> 00:24:09,424
Frederick was more indifferent
to children than I am.
557
00:24:09,508 --> 00:24:11,092
- That's not possible.
- Oh, yes.
558
00:24:11,176 --> 00:24:12,469
We could be walking by the well
559
00:24:12,552 --> 00:24:14,846
that Timmy fell down
and he'd throw a penny in.
560
00:24:14,929 --> 00:24:18,643
- Maybe he kept his feelings to himself.
- For five years? No.
561
00:24:18,726 --> 00:24:20,102
Something happened.
562
00:24:20,186 --> 00:24:23,273
Twenty minutes after "I do,"
he lost his mind.
563
00:24:23,356 --> 00:24:25,566
Now all he talks about is,
"Guess who's pregnant?"
564
00:24:25,650 --> 00:24:27,485
or "What school district is it in?
565
00:24:27,568 --> 00:24:29,487
You have to live
in a good school district."
566
00:24:29,570 --> 00:24:32,448
And I say, "Why?
Isn't that what boarding school is for?
567
00:24:32,532 --> 00:24:34,659
So you don't have to live
in a good school district?"
568
00:24:34,742 --> 00:24:36,786
I don't think
that's what boarding school's for.
569
00:24:36,869 --> 00:24:38,538
Well, it's very mystifying.
570
00:24:38,621 --> 00:24:40,748
He keeps shoving children in my arms.
571
00:24:40,832 --> 00:24:42,667
"Hold this. What do you feel?"
572
00:24:42,750 --> 00:24:46,003
"Well, now there's spittle
on my Brioni suit so, rage?"
573
00:24:46,086 --> 00:24:49,674
- Why does it smell like onions?
- The new pop-up crew in the kitchen.
574
00:24:49,757 --> 00:24:52,510
- That's tonight?
- Yes, that's tonight.
575
00:24:52,593 --> 00:24:55,888
- I hate this pop-up idea.
- We have an empty dining room and kitchen.
576
00:24:55,971 --> 00:24:58,140
- What do you propose we do?
- Put on a show?
577
00:24:58,224 --> 00:25:01,352
We live in a town
where every restaurant closes at 4:45.
578
00:25:01,436 --> 00:25:02,437
People need to eat.
579
00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:05,481
- What's this new chef guy's name again?
- Oh, come on.
580
00:25:05,565 --> 00:25:08,276
I can't remember.
It's like a million syllables long.
581
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:09,860
Roy Choi.
582
00:25:09,944 --> 00:25:11,987
- The food truck guy.
- He's not a food truck guy.
583
00:25:12,071 --> 00:25:13,364
He's a guy with a food truck.
584
00:25:13,448 --> 00:25:17,577
A fleet of food trucks, three restaurants
and a massive online following.
585
00:25:17,660 --> 00:25:19,495
Oh, so he tweets? He's a tweeter?
586
00:25:19,579 --> 00:25:23,374
"Hey, kids. Come grab some rad food
at the Dragonfly."
587
00:25:23,458 --> 00:25:24,875
Do you even know how Twitter works?
588
00:25:24,959 --> 00:25:27,795
- Oh, he's cool, right?
- Yes, he seems cool.
589
00:25:27,878 --> 00:25:29,964
I hate cool.
Makes me feel so uncool.
590
00:25:30,047 --> 00:25:34,927
I don't need some cool guy tweeting,
making me feel uncool in my own inn.
591
00:25:35,010 --> 00:25:38,180
Why on earth aren't you on Xanax?
It was invented for you.
592
00:25:38,264 --> 00:25:40,099
What's that "Kogi" tattoo
on his arm about?
593
00:25:40,182 --> 00:25:41,642
Kogi is the name of his business.
594
00:25:41,726 --> 00:25:44,229
So the tattoo, while not
as clever as "Wino Forever,"
595
00:25:44,312 --> 00:25:45,980
is at least thematically correct.
596
00:25:46,063 --> 00:25:49,191
- We should hire a regular chef.
- We should, shouldn't we?
597
00:25:49,275 --> 00:25:51,237
- How long is this pop-up thing?
- Two weeks.
598
00:25:51,320 --> 00:25:52,446
- Can it be less?
- No.
599
00:25:52,529 --> 00:25:55,031
- I'd like it to be less.
- I don't need a child. I have you.
600
00:25:57,409 --> 00:26:00,036
Great. He's gonna
set the whole place on fire.
601
00:26:00,120 --> 00:26:02,080
- Oh, hey, Lorelai.
- Hey.
602
00:26:02,163 --> 00:26:04,500
This kitchen's awesome.
Sookie set it up perfectly.
603
00:26:04,583 --> 00:26:06,126
Yes, well, Sookie's a genius.
604
00:26:06,209 --> 00:26:07,794
- What is all this?
- You like abalone?
605
00:26:07,878 --> 00:26:11,340
- Is this a trick question?
- No. Abalone is delicious.
606
00:26:11,423 --> 00:26:14,385
I'm doing a green pea congee
with fried shallots, spring onions,
607
00:26:14,468 --> 00:26:17,763
cilantro, chili oil and abalone.
Oh, I meant to ask.
608
00:26:17,846 --> 00:26:20,056
Can I screw with the dining room?
Make it less granny?
609
00:26:20,140 --> 00:26:21,725
- Uh, no.
- Problem. No problem.
610
00:26:21,808 --> 00:26:23,518
De-granny the place.
611
00:26:23,602 --> 00:26:26,563
Go nuts. I hated my grandmother.
Horrible woman.
612
00:26:26,647 --> 00:26:29,816
But we are thrilled that you are here.
And she's not.
613
00:26:29,900 --> 00:26:31,985
All right, come on, you guys. Let's go.
614
00:26:32,068 --> 00:26:33,529
Thank you.
615
00:26:33,612 --> 00:26:37,073
Abalone! Yay!
616
00:26:38,325 --> 00:26:39,535
Will you relax, please?
617
00:26:39,618 --> 00:26:42,162
Between you and Frederick,
I'm going to have a stroke.
618
00:26:42,245 --> 00:26:43,830
- Where is it?
- What?
619
00:26:43,914 --> 00:26:45,832
The coffeemaker.
Where is the coffeemaker?
620
00:26:45,916 --> 00:26:47,876
- Uh...
- It was right here yesterday!
621
00:26:47,959 --> 00:26:50,962
- It was right here! Roy!
- Uh, I... Wait...
622
00:26:51,046 --> 00:26:55,426
Roy! Um, Roy?
Where's the coffee machine?
623
00:26:55,509 --> 00:26:58,679
I moved it. I needed counter space.
Eduardo can make you a coffee.
624
00:26:58,762 --> 00:27:01,390
- How? Is Eduardo magic?
- He makes a stovetop version...
625
00:27:01,473 --> 00:27:02,516
- Eh, eh.
- It really is...
626
00:27:02,599 --> 00:27:04,100
- Eh, eh, eh, eh.
- I can move it back.
627
00:27:04,184 --> 00:27:06,102
I am so sorry,
but this isn't gonna to work.
628
00:27:06,186 --> 00:27:07,228
- Michel!
- I'm right here.
629
00:27:07,313 --> 00:27:11,274
Oh, sorry. Uh, Michel, call over
to Momo's and see if they can accommodate
630
00:27:11,358 --> 00:27:13,735
a crazy cool congee extravaganza.
631
00:27:13,819 --> 00:27:15,946
Thank you. It's been a pleasure.
632
00:27:16,029 --> 00:27:19,741
Louis here is gonna walk you over
to Momo's Tires and get you settled.
633
00:27:19,825 --> 00:27:22,911
- Wait, it's a tire store?
- Buh-bye. Thank you.
634
00:27:24,372 --> 00:27:25,415
What, Michel?
635
00:27:25,498 --> 00:27:28,084
At least you were nicer
than you were to Anthony Bourdain.
636
00:27:28,167 --> 00:27:29,586
Bourdain parked in Sookie's spot.
637
00:27:29,669 --> 00:27:32,797
Now once again,
we have an empty kitchen.
638
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:33,965
We will find a full-time chef.
639
00:27:34,048 --> 00:27:35,091
- No, we won't.
- Yes, we will.
640
00:27:35,174 --> 00:27:36,384
You think no one can cook like her.
641
00:27:36,468 --> 00:27:37,969
- No one can.
- April Bloomfield?
642
00:27:38,052 --> 00:27:39,220
- Too much pork.
- Alice Waters.
643
00:27:39,303 --> 00:27:41,263
- Little flighty.
- David Chang?
644
00:27:41,348 --> 00:27:42,849
Al's does the same thing.
645
00:27:42,932 --> 00:27:45,602
Al's Pancake World does not do
the same thing as David Chang.
646
00:27:45,685 --> 00:27:48,145
- It has to be right.
- You miss her? Fine. I don't.
647
00:27:48,229 --> 00:27:50,189
- She abandoned us.
- She did not abandon us.
648
00:27:50,272 --> 00:27:52,442
A six month sabbatical.
That's what she said.
649
00:27:52,525 --> 00:27:54,193
She was going to clear her head,
650
00:27:54,277 --> 00:27:56,029
come up with new recipes
and then be back.
651
00:27:56,112 --> 00:27:59,490
- Well, that was a year ago.
- What can I say? She found a calling.
652
00:27:59,574 --> 00:28:01,534
- Really. What's her calling?
- Michel.
653
00:28:01,618 --> 00:28:04,371
I'm curious.
Describe what she's doing up in the woods?
654
00:28:04,454 --> 00:28:06,623
She's working with Dan Barber
at Blue Hill Farm.
655
00:28:06,706 --> 00:28:07,707
Doing?
656
00:28:07,790 --> 00:28:10,001
She is helping him develop
food-growing techniques
657
00:28:10,084 --> 00:28:12,629
and cultivating
the evolution of fruits and vegetables,
658
00:28:12,712 --> 00:28:15,632
which helps the people who eat them and...
659
00:28:15,715 --> 00:28:18,468
I don't know. They're saving the world.
It's on the website.
660
00:28:18,551 --> 00:28:21,220
No, she's squatting in a cabin
with no phone service,
661
00:28:21,303 --> 00:28:23,431
trying to grow a pineapple
out of a coat rack!
662
00:28:23,515 --> 00:28:25,099
She's not saving the world.
663
00:28:25,182 --> 00:28:27,560
She just found a way
to never shave her legs again.
664
00:28:27,644 --> 00:28:28,895
Ooh! Hi, Gypsy!
665
00:28:28,978 --> 00:28:30,938
- I have good news.
- Great! What?
666
00:28:31,022 --> 00:28:33,816
Oh, Lorelai.
Damn, I dialed the wrong number.
667
00:28:33,900 --> 00:28:36,486
- I'll call you back.
- Wait! When can I get my car?
668
00:28:36,569 --> 00:28:40,072
I'm waiting for a part.
It's coming in a DeLorean from 1983.
669
00:28:40,156 --> 00:28:42,992
- I have to go to Hartford tonight.
- I don't know what to tell you.
670
00:28:43,075 --> 00:28:45,912
Oh, wait, yes I do.
Buy a new car.
671
00:28:45,995 --> 00:28:47,664
- Thanks. Great.
- I hate this one.
672
00:28:47,747 --> 00:28:49,206
- It's very old.
- I got it.
673
00:28:49,290 --> 00:28:51,918
- But it's fun to kick.
- Bye, Gypsy.
674
00:28:58,300 --> 00:29:00,094
Hi, Mrs. Gleason?
675
00:29:01,261 --> 00:29:03,431
Hey, Kirk?
It's freezing back here.
676
00:29:03,514 --> 00:29:06,058
Oh, that's probably because
I vented the floor.
677
00:29:06,141 --> 00:29:07,560
- Pardon?
- The floor.
678
00:29:07,643 --> 00:29:09,770
I drilled a few holes in the floor.
679
00:29:10,521 --> 00:29:12,731
Was there an explanation with that or...
680
00:29:12,815 --> 00:29:14,858
Two customers passed out last week.
681
00:29:14,942 --> 00:29:17,778
They were old, so it could've just been
old people passing out.
682
00:29:17,861 --> 00:29:21,031
Or carbon monoxide.
I just thought better safe than sorry.
683
00:29:21,949 --> 00:29:24,576
- Would you like some water?
- Yes. That would be nice.
684
00:29:26,203 --> 00:29:27,580
Here, could you...
685
00:29:27,663 --> 00:29:30,916
- Oh, uh, okay.
- And how about some music?
686
00:29:30,999 --> 00:29:35,337
The radio was stolen, but I'm happy
to sing any song you request...
687
00:29:35,421 --> 00:29:36,922
as long as it's by the Carpenters.
688
00:29:37,005 --> 00:29:39,758
- How about something by the Carpenters?
- Good choice.
689
00:29:41,051 --> 00:29:44,972
♪ Such a feeling's coming over me ♪
690
00:29:45,055 --> 00:29:49,477
♪ There is wonder
In most everything I see ♪
691
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:51,770
♪ Not a cloud in the sky ♪
692
00:29:51,854 --> 00:29:54,189
♪ Now the sun is in my eye ♪
693
00:29:54,273 --> 00:29:58,735
♪ And I won't be surprised
If it's a dream ♪
694
00:30:16,211 --> 00:30:18,213
Uh, well, thanks, Kirk.
695
00:30:18,296 --> 00:30:19,882
I'm not there yet.
696
00:30:22,300 --> 00:30:25,095
- You know, I think I'm okay.
- It's door-to-door service.
697
00:30:25,178 --> 00:30:28,850
- Well, I won't tell if you don't.
- I still have to charge the same price.
698
00:30:28,933 --> 00:30:31,603
That's fine, Kirk.
699
00:30:32,646 --> 00:30:35,023
- You have arrived!
- Bye, Kirk.
700
00:30:40,570 --> 00:30:42,030
Oh, hola! Hello.
701
00:30:42,113 --> 00:30:45,033
Hi. Um, uh, I'm Lorelai.
702
00:30:45,116 --> 00:30:46,284
Emily's, um...
703
00:30:48,495 --> 00:30:50,580
No, no, no.
I don't think Rory's here yet.
704
00:30:51,748 --> 00:30:55,293
Um, my, uh, daughter, that's...
That's her.
705
00:30:55,376 --> 00:30:57,128
Ah!
706
00:30:57,211 --> 00:30:59,506
She's not and I'm not gonna be
flying solo tonight,
707
00:30:59,589 --> 00:31:01,132
- so I'm gonna wait outside.
- Oh!
708
00:31:01,215 --> 00:31:03,677
But don't say anything to, uh,
Mrs. Gilmore.
709
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:05,637
- Oh.
- Okay? Shh. Shh.
710
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:07,180
- Okay.
- Okay. Thank you.
711
00:31:07,263 --> 00:31:08,807
Oh...
712
00:31:10,767 --> 00:31:12,060
Oh, thank God!
713
00:31:13,436 --> 00:31:15,897
Hey, you promised
you'd be here right at 7:00.
714
00:31:15,980 --> 00:31:17,691
- It's 7:05.
- Apology accepted.
715
00:31:17,774 --> 00:31:20,276
- Why are you out here? It's freezing.
- 'Cause we're a team.
716
00:31:20,359 --> 00:31:22,111
Would Dean Martin go in
without Jerry Lewis?
717
00:31:22,195 --> 00:31:23,905
No, but Jerry Lewis
would go in without Dean.
718
00:31:23,988 --> 00:31:25,073
Am I Jerry Lewis?
719
00:31:25,156 --> 00:31:26,950
- I'm ringing the doorbell.
- Why am I Jerry Lewis?
720
00:31:27,033 --> 00:31:28,618
I don't need to answer that.
721
00:31:28,702 --> 00:31:30,411
Hmm. Hi, here's Rory.
722
00:31:30,494 --> 00:31:32,539
Ah!
723
00:31:32,622 --> 00:31:33,957
Right.
724
00:31:34,541 --> 00:31:38,628
Rory, there you are.
It is so good to see you.
725
00:31:38,712 --> 00:31:41,214
Hi, Grandma. It's so good to see you.
How are you?
726
00:31:41,297 --> 00:31:43,091
Well, I am a Gilmore.
727
00:31:43,174 --> 00:31:46,845
My goodness, you look absolutely radiant.
728
00:31:46,928 --> 00:31:49,639
Well, she is a Gilmore.
And 32, which helps.
729
00:31:49,723 --> 00:31:52,266
- I think you must be in love.
- Hi, Mom.
730
00:31:52,350 --> 00:31:55,144
Don't track mud in here.
I had the floors waxed.
731
00:31:55,228 --> 00:31:56,563
You and I had a better rapport.
732
00:31:56,646 --> 00:31:59,148
Excuse me, Mrs. Gilmore.
733
00:31:59,232 --> 00:32:03,112
Oh, good, good. In here.
I need light bulbs.
734
00:32:03,195 --> 00:32:04,947
This, there.
You see...
735
00:32:05,030 --> 00:32:06,281
- There and there.
- Ah.
736
00:32:06,365 --> 00:32:08,909
- The bulbs... the bulbs are out.
- Hmm.
737
00:32:08,993 --> 00:32:10,119
- No problem.
- Yeah?
738
00:32:10,202 --> 00:32:13,080
And now... And in here...
739
00:32:13,163 --> 00:32:14,289
that sconce...
740
00:32:14,373 --> 00:32:18,043
and then over the picture, the light.
Over here, the picture...
741
00:32:18,127 --> 00:32:21,130
The... the lights over the picture?
Yes?
742
00:32:21,213 --> 00:32:22,548
Did you get a new handyman, Mom?
743
00:32:24,425 --> 00:32:26,760
- Cyrano?
- Grandma, did you hire a new handyman?
744
00:32:26,844 --> 00:32:28,345
Yes. That's Alejandro.
745
00:32:28,428 --> 00:32:31,556
He's Berta's husband and he's amazing.
He can fix anything.
746
00:32:31,641 --> 00:32:33,768
I'm usually wary about hiring husbands.
747
00:32:33,851 --> 00:32:36,061
I hired a maid once whose husband
was a gardener.
748
00:32:36,145 --> 00:32:39,523
He got angry with her one day
and decapitated one of my topiaries.
749
00:32:39,607 --> 00:32:42,818
Hmm. Was it the one of Spiro Agnew?
750
00:32:44,862 --> 00:32:46,363
- Ask her, ask her.
- Uh, Grandma...
751
00:32:46,446 --> 00:32:48,573
just wondering...
Who are the kids?
752
00:32:48,658 --> 00:32:52,036
- Oh, they're Berta's children, I think.
- You think?
753
00:32:52,119 --> 00:32:54,872
They appeared when she did,
so I put two and two together.
754
00:32:54,955 --> 00:32:57,041
You have an entire family in your house
755
00:32:57,124 --> 00:32:59,043
and you're not sure
if they're actually a family?
756
00:32:59,126 --> 00:33:00,502
So what, Lorelai?
757
00:33:00,585 --> 00:33:03,005
I have a house.
They needed a place to live.
758
00:33:03,088 --> 00:33:04,673
They work for me. Problem?
759
00:33:04,757 --> 00:33:06,634
No. Yes. All good. You're right.
760
00:33:06,717 --> 00:33:11,138
Let's go sit and have martinis.
You can tell me all about this new boy.
761
00:33:11,221 --> 00:33:14,809
Well, he's not new.
We've been going out about two years.
762
00:33:14,892 --> 00:33:17,019
- Really? I must meet him.
- Oh, you did.
763
00:33:17,102 --> 00:33:19,063
Really? I'm sorry.
I'll meet him again.
764
00:33:19,146 --> 00:33:21,190
- Won't matter.
- Come sit.
765
00:33:21,273 --> 00:33:22,942
What?
766
00:33:25,695 --> 00:33:27,988
- Uh, Mom?
- Yes?
767
00:33:29,489 --> 00:33:31,325
- Um...
- Oh, yes.
768
00:33:31,408 --> 00:33:32,826
Isn't it wonderful?
769
00:33:35,163 --> 00:33:36,164
It's...
770
00:33:36,247 --> 00:33:38,499
It's... it's...
771
00:33:38,583 --> 00:33:39,793
It's...
772
00:33:40,585 --> 00:33:41,670
The whole wall!
773
00:33:41,753 --> 00:33:44,422
I had it painted
from one of my favorite pictures of him.
774
00:33:44,505 --> 00:33:46,049
- Do you like it?
- Yes.
775
00:33:46,132 --> 00:33:47,300
Sure.
776
00:33:48,718 --> 00:33:53,306
It's so... big.
777
00:33:53,807 --> 00:33:57,602
It's a Marco Toretti.
His specialty is large canvases.
778
00:33:57,686 --> 00:33:59,771
Well, he did himself proud.
779
00:34:00,271 --> 00:34:04,109
- And... you wanted it that big, right?
- Of course I did.
780
00:34:04,192 --> 00:34:06,361
'Cause it's a... a real presence.
781
00:34:06,444 --> 00:34:08,363
As was your father. Olive?
782
00:34:08,446 --> 00:34:10,406
And he came and measured the space?
783
00:34:10,490 --> 00:34:12,033
- Who?
- Mario Andretti?
784
00:34:12,117 --> 00:34:14,035
Marco Toretti. Yes, he did. Why?
785
00:34:14,119 --> 00:34:16,621
- No reason.
- I wanted something dramatic.
786
00:34:16,705 --> 00:34:17,956
And you got it.
787
00:34:18,039 --> 00:34:19,708
- I did.
- Okay.
788
00:34:21,167 --> 00:34:22,252
- Cheers.
- Cheers.
789
00:34:27,841 --> 00:34:29,217
Oh, come on, Mom. Admit it.
790
00:34:29,300 --> 00:34:31,386
- Admit what?
- You Spinal Tapped the painting.
791
00:34:31,469 --> 00:34:33,054
- What?
- You Spinal Tapped the painting.
792
00:34:33,138 --> 00:34:36,850
You gave them the wrong dimensions
and now you are trying to pretend
793
00:34:36,933 --> 00:34:39,477
that massive portrait is something
you intended.
794
00:34:39,560 --> 00:34:41,396
- It was. Yes.
- It was?
795
00:34:41,479 --> 00:34:44,690
You intended for Dad's eyebrow
and my forearm to be the same length?
796
00:34:44,774 --> 00:34:47,026
- Yes.
- It's 18-feet tall!
797
00:34:47,110 --> 00:34:48,445
It's not 18-feet tall.
798
00:34:48,528 --> 00:34:50,822
- It looks 18 feet-tall.
- Should I get a tape measure?
799
00:34:50,906 --> 00:34:52,157
- No.
- I can get a tape measure.
800
00:34:52,240 --> 00:34:54,910
- Do not get a tape measure.
- Alejandro has one.
801
00:34:54,993 --> 00:34:58,329
I don't believe you wanted
a portrait of Dad so massive,
802
00:34:58,413 --> 00:35:00,373
- it doesn't fit on the wall!
- Well, I did.
803
00:35:00,456 --> 00:35:03,960
A portrait so big, Peter Jackson
could hang it at the Argonath.
804
00:35:04,044 --> 00:35:06,671
- Yes, he could.
- You don't know what the Argonath is!
805
00:35:06,755 --> 00:35:08,758
Doesn't matter.
It's a nice picture of Grandpa.
806
00:35:08,841 --> 00:35:11,010
Mom. Do it over.
807
00:35:11,093 --> 00:35:13,095
Get what you want.
You have the money.
808
00:35:13,179 --> 00:35:16,057
- This is what I want.
- I swear it can't be.
809
00:35:16,140 --> 00:35:17,516
- Why not?
- Because! Look at it.
810
00:35:17,599 --> 00:35:21,312
It's nuts! "Wizard, you shall not pass!"
Seriously!
811
00:35:21,395 --> 00:35:23,940
Fine! I made a mistake!
Are you happy?
812
00:35:24,023 --> 00:35:26,901
I gave them the wrong dimensions,
and they screwed it up.
813
00:35:26,984 --> 00:35:28,736
I'm a screw-up! I admit it!
814
00:35:28,820 --> 00:35:33,866
Just please, don't let this be the only
thing you remember to say at my funeral!
815
00:35:37,369 --> 00:35:39,038
So...
816
00:35:40,706 --> 00:35:41,874
Yes?
817
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:46,253
Did I tell you what happened
at the funeral after you left?
818
00:35:46,337 --> 00:35:48,547
Why, no, you didn't.
819
00:35:49,882 --> 00:35:51,467
Because something did.
820
00:37:24,978 --> 00:37:28,606
So nice of you to come.
You're in Florida now, aren't you?
821
00:37:28,690 --> 00:37:31,985
We are. You should come visit us
when things calm down a bit.
822
00:37:32,069 --> 00:37:34,071
I'll do that. I promise.
823
00:37:38,158 --> 00:37:40,035
- Beautiful service, Emily.
- Thank you.
824
00:37:41,328 --> 00:37:43,788
- I'm all right, Rory.
- Okay.
825
00:37:45,040 --> 00:37:47,584
- I really am all right.
- I know.
826
00:37:49,586 --> 00:37:50,587
Lorelai.
827
00:37:51,504 --> 00:37:54,841
Jason Stiles,
as I live and breathe.
828
00:37:54,925 --> 00:37:57,594
You look like the hottest Italian widow
I have ever seen.
829
00:37:57,677 --> 00:38:00,013
It's nice that you came.
830
00:38:00,097 --> 00:38:02,807
Your father was a lion.
You know that.
831
00:38:02,890 --> 00:38:05,227
I do.
832
00:38:05,310 --> 00:38:07,145
I'm deeply sorry.
833
00:38:07,729 --> 00:38:10,982
At least it was sudden.
Mom didn't have to watch him fade away.
834
00:38:11,066 --> 00:38:13,236
Have you seen my mother by the way?
835
00:38:13,319 --> 00:38:17,448
I've been successfully keeping
a living room's worth of space between us.
836
00:38:17,531 --> 00:38:18,907
She's in hostess mode.
837
00:38:18,991 --> 00:38:20,660
At worst, she'll send you home
with shrimp.
838
00:38:20,743 --> 00:38:23,412
- To which I'm allergic.
- Thus fulfilling her devious plan.
839
00:38:24,956 --> 00:38:27,083
- You happy?
- Right now or...
840
00:38:29,335 --> 00:38:30,336
Are you happy?
841
00:38:32,046 --> 00:38:32,964
Yes.
842
00:38:34,298 --> 00:38:35,716
Umlauts.
843
00:38:35,799 --> 00:38:37,843
Digger.
844
00:38:45,977 --> 00:38:47,145
What you doin'?
845
00:38:47,228 --> 00:38:49,522
Oh, there was a screw loose
in the heating vent.
846
00:38:49,605 --> 00:38:51,107
I didn't want it to fall out.
847
00:38:51,190 --> 00:38:53,317
Uh-huh.
Did you service the boiler yet?
848
00:38:53,401 --> 00:38:55,528
It was just the one screw.
That's it.
849
00:38:55,611 --> 00:38:56,779
Garbage disposal working now?
850
00:38:56,862 --> 00:38:59,991
I just saw it like that
and I had this with me so...
851
00:39:00,074 --> 00:39:01,450
- And the rain gutters?
- Well...
852
00:39:01,534 --> 00:39:06,372
You can't leave them clogged like that.
The water gets in the house.
853
00:39:06,455 --> 00:39:09,000
I can't help it.
Funerals make me nervous.
854
00:39:09,083 --> 00:39:10,126
Here.
855
00:39:10,209 --> 00:39:11,627
This is such a big house
856
00:39:11,710 --> 00:39:12,795
and things go wrong all the time.
857
00:39:12,878 --> 00:39:14,547
But I could have
my husband fix everything.
858
00:39:14,630 --> 00:39:16,590
And we could move in here with you
so you would not be so alone
859
00:39:16,674 --> 00:39:18,301
and we can take care of everything.
860
00:39:18,384 --> 00:39:19,677
- Everything.
- Sure.
861
00:39:19,760 --> 00:39:21,304
You will like my husband.
862
00:39:21,387 --> 00:39:22,471
He's very tall and quiet.
863
00:39:22,555 --> 00:39:23,972
- Okay?
- Sure.
864
00:39:24,056 --> 00:39:25,933
Oh, Señora Gilmore, don't worry.
865
00:39:26,767 --> 00:39:29,937
Fine. Just take that to the kitchen?
866
00:39:30,896 --> 00:39:33,357
- What language is that?
- I do not know.
867
00:39:33,441 --> 00:39:34,442
I thought it was Spanish,
868
00:39:34,525 --> 00:39:37,111
but I had the gardener
tell her to come in early one day
869
00:39:37,195 --> 00:39:39,488
and he told me
she wasn't speaking Spanish,
870
00:39:39,572 --> 00:39:40,989
It took me a while to understand
871
00:39:41,074 --> 00:39:44,035
because I need the pool man
to translate for the gardener.
872
00:39:44,118 --> 00:39:46,913
- Hey, time to get going, kid.
- Oh, shoot!
873
00:39:46,996 --> 00:39:48,748
I have to get to the airport!
874
00:39:48,832 --> 00:39:50,625
My goodness, so dramatic.
875
00:39:50,709 --> 00:39:53,170
Please tell your daughter
I'm going to be fine.
876
00:39:53,253 --> 00:39:56,882
- The two of you can just run along.
- Oh, no. I'm gonna have Luke drive her.
877
00:39:56,965 --> 00:39:59,218
- You're staying?
- Yeah.
878
00:39:59,801 --> 00:40:01,011
All right.
879
00:40:01,095 --> 00:40:02,679
Grandma...
880
00:40:02,762 --> 00:40:04,389
You made him very proud.
881
00:40:04,473 --> 00:40:07,059
I will call you when I get to London.
882
00:40:07,142 --> 00:40:09,061
Emily, everything's in good shape here.
883
00:40:09,144 --> 00:40:10,604
- I'm sorry?
- Just send her your bill.
884
00:40:10,687 --> 00:40:12,481
Right. So...
885
00:40:13,898 --> 00:40:16,610
Thank you, Luke.
Drive safe now.
886
00:40:16,693 --> 00:40:17,902
Okay, love you.
887
00:40:17,986 --> 00:40:19,863
Ditto. Bye, guys.
888
00:40:23,200 --> 00:40:25,077
So... scotch?
889
00:40:26,035 --> 00:40:27,036
God, yes.
890
00:41:02,947 --> 00:41:05,074
One of his favorites.
891
00:41:05,159 --> 00:41:07,244
A classic for a classic.
892
00:41:07,327 --> 00:41:08,495
Hear, hear.
893
00:41:11,790 --> 00:41:14,709
Well, I know it's getting late
894
00:41:14,793 --> 00:41:17,337
and I know some of you have
a very long ride home.
895
00:41:18,256 --> 00:41:21,843
I want to thank you for your friendship
and for being here.
896
00:41:22,677 --> 00:41:24,679
Richard loved you all very much.
897
00:41:25,638 --> 00:41:28,224
But before we all go our separate ways,
898
00:41:28,308 --> 00:41:31,852
I thought we could go around
and everyone could stand up
899
00:41:31,936 --> 00:41:34,439
and tell a favorite story about Richard.
900
00:41:36,065 --> 00:41:37,107
What did she just say?
901
00:41:37,192 --> 00:41:39,819
I know there are hundreds
to choose from.
902
00:41:39,902 --> 00:41:43,072
But too bad,
I'm going to limit you to just one.
903
00:41:43,156 --> 00:41:44,490
The best one.
904
00:41:44,574 --> 00:41:48,452
The one that most sums up
the Richard Gilmore you know and love.
905
00:41:49,078 --> 00:41:50,621
Let's start here. Jack?
906
00:41:52,915 --> 00:41:56,877
Well, Richard and I go back, um, to Yale.
907
00:41:56,961 --> 00:42:00,215
- We both went there...
- Excuse me. Please switch places with me.
908
00:42:00,298 --> 00:42:01,716
- What?
- There's a draft.
909
00:42:01,799 --> 00:42:04,427
- We're outside.
- Yeah, don't wanna go next.
910
00:42:04,510 --> 00:42:09,682
So, I decide to sneak a pair
of black lacy women's unmentionables
911
00:42:09,765 --> 00:42:11,809
into his locker for everyone to see.
912
00:42:11,892 --> 00:42:14,354
And so, one day after polo practice,
913
00:42:14,437 --> 00:42:18,023
I'm at the locker and I'm trying
to pick the lock so that I can leave
914
00:42:18,107 --> 00:42:20,485
the unmentionables there, and suddenly,
915
00:42:20,568 --> 00:42:24,614
I look up and I see him standing there
across the way at my locker
916
00:42:24,697 --> 00:42:28,451
also holding a pair
of black lacy knickers.
917
00:42:28,534 --> 00:42:32,121
And he sees me and we look at each other
918
00:42:32,205 --> 00:42:34,540
holding these women's underpants.
919
00:42:34,624 --> 00:42:36,125
So finally, Richard says,
920
00:42:36,209 --> 00:42:40,671
"Well, we can't possibly
both be in black."
921
00:42:44,967 --> 00:42:46,010
Wonderful.
922
00:42:46,093 --> 00:42:47,595
Franklin?
923
00:42:49,930 --> 00:42:52,726
He cheated at cards.
924
00:42:54,895 --> 00:42:56,480
Only with you, Franklin.
925
00:42:56,563 --> 00:42:59,858
One day, I'd just got myself
a brand new Jaguar.
926
00:42:59,941 --> 00:43:03,237
Richard said, "Let's play for pinks."
927
00:43:03,320 --> 00:43:04,780
So I say, "Now, look here, Gilmore.
928
00:43:04,863 --> 00:43:08,450
You keep your hands off my new car."
929
00:43:08,534 --> 00:43:10,952
And he smiles and says, "Make me."
930
00:43:12,371 --> 00:43:13,747
And next we have...
931
00:43:13,830 --> 00:43:15,832
Oh, looks like Martin's asleep.
932
00:43:15,916 --> 00:43:16,958
Lorelai?
933
00:43:18,502 --> 00:43:20,671
- What?
- You're up.
934
00:43:20,754 --> 00:43:22,213
No. No, no.
935
00:43:22,298 --> 00:43:23,924
Let's... let's...
936
00:43:24,007 --> 00:43:26,843
We can wake Martin up, huh?
937
00:43:26,927 --> 00:43:30,347
Hey, Marty. Marty.
Babe Paley's in the corner.
938
00:43:30,431 --> 00:43:31,598
- Lorelai.
- Hmm?
939
00:43:32,182 --> 00:43:33,183
Just go.
940
00:43:34,393 --> 00:43:36,770
Uh... uh...
941
00:43:37,729 --> 00:43:40,982
The best story... best story.
942
00:43:41,066 --> 00:43:43,694
There's so many great...
No... no one else wants to go?
943
00:43:44,445 --> 00:43:47,197
Nope? They don't because it's my turn.
944
00:43:47,281 --> 00:43:48,990
So, um, okay...
945
00:43:49,074 --> 00:43:52,953
I'm ten, and I ask Dad if...
946
00:43:53,036 --> 00:43:57,207
to play hide and seek,
and I went and hid in his steamer trunk,
947
00:43:57,291 --> 00:43:59,167
and he left and went to Holland.
948
00:44:01,420 --> 00:44:03,463
I'm sorry. No, it was Belgium.
949
00:44:04,047 --> 00:44:06,508
Or... oh, uh, I'm 15,
950
00:44:06,592 --> 00:44:11,262
and we were having our,
um, Gilmore Fourth of July party
951
00:44:11,347 --> 00:44:13,807
and Dad was dressed as Paul Revere.
952
00:44:13,890 --> 00:44:18,061
And I guess I was supposed
to be, um, greeting people
953
00:44:18,144 --> 00:44:19,771
or playing the flute with a peg leg,
954
00:44:19,855 --> 00:44:23,274
so he came looking for me
and he burst into the pool house
955
00:44:23,359 --> 00:44:27,154
where I was on the couch
with Teddy Wiedemier III,
956
00:44:27,238 --> 00:44:30,700
and we had just finished, uh...
957
00:44:30,783 --> 00:44:33,786
"The British are coming!
The British are..." Anyhow, you get it.
958
00:44:33,870 --> 00:44:37,499
Dad's livid and he's yelling, "Emily,
our daughter's losing her virginity
959
00:44:37,582 --> 00:44:39,709
five feet away
from the president of J.P. Morgan,"
960
00:44:39,792 --> 00:44:41,461
which was embarrassing and not true,
961
00:44:41,544 --> 00:44:43,755
because that ship had sailed
a long time ago,
962
00:44:43,838 --> 00:44:46,298
like Niña, Pinta, Santa Maria time ago,
963
00:44:46,383 --> 00:44:47,842
if you know what I mean.
964
00:44:48,843 --> 00:44:50,387
So...
965
00:44:52,138 --> 00:44:55,767
Oh, I'm sorry, it was not Belgium.
It was Croatia.
966
00:45:09,947 --> 00:45:11,949
It was wonderful
seeing you again.
967
00:45:12,033 --> 00:45:14,411
We should get together next month maybe.
Can we?
968
00:45:14,494 --> 00:45:15,620
I'd love to.
969
00:45:15,703 --> 00:45:18,080
All right now,
you all drive carefully.
970
00:45:18,164 --> 00:45:19,165
Thank you so much.
971
00:45:20,124 --> 00:45:22,376
- Good night.
- Good night.
972
00:45:37,475 --> 00:45:38,685
I'm sorry.
973
00:45:45,608 --> 00:45:47,151
You took me by surprise.
974
00:45:47,234 --> 00:45:48,319
Not another word.
975
00:45:51,656 --> 00:45:53,407
It was late and there was scotch.
976
00:45:53,491 --> 00:45:55,242
Lorelai, stop talking.
977
00:45:59,998 --> 00:46:01,750
I didn't mean to...
978
00:46:02,585 --> 00:46:03,669
Don't follow.
979
00:46:09,717 --> 00:46:10,718
Mom...
980
00:46:12,719 --> 00:46:13,762
Mom...
981
00:46:15,764 --> 00:46:17,224
Please, come back.
982
00:46:17,307 --> 00:46:20,644
I didn't do it on purpose.
I had a brain freeze. I panicked.
983
00:46:20,727 --> 00:46:21,645
Mom.
984
00:46:22,270 --> 00:46:25,983
- You two start with the silver.
- I didn't know there'd be a... test.
985
00:46:26,066 --> 00:46:27,568
A test?
986
00:46:27,651 --> 00:46:29,319
- Yes.
- You didn't know there'd be a test?
987
00:46:29,402 --> 00:46:32,197
- Is that what you said to me?
- I also said I'm sorry.
988
00:46:32,280 --> 00:46:33,281
- Did you?
- Yes.
989
00:46:33,365 --> 00:46:34,449
- Did you?
- Yes.
990
00:46:34,533 --> 00:46:36,910
- Did you really?
- You're making me doubt it now...
991
00:46:36,994 --> 00:46:38,453
I asked you for a story.
992
00:46:38,537 --> 00:46:41,874
"Oh, there was a time when Dad
bought me a doll. I loved this doll."
993
00:46:41,957 --> 00:46:45,043
Something like that.
Get out! Now!
994
00:46:46,003 --> 00:46:49,715
- "I remember when he took me to the park."
- He didn't take me to a park.
995
00:46:49,798 --> 00:46:51,299
- The zoo.
- That either.
996
00:46:51,383 --> 00:46:54,720
The store! The club! Kathmandu!
I don't give a damn where he took you.
997
00:46:54,803 --> 00:46:58,098
All I wanted was a fond anecdote
from his only daughter
998
00:46:58,181 --> 00:47:02,561
and what I got was a rambling diatribe
on being abandoned in a steamer trunk.
999
00:47:02,645 --> 00:47:05,063
You have nothing
but contempt for this family.
1000
00:47:05,147 --> 00:47:06,023
That is not true.
1001
00:47:06,106 --> 00:47:08,651
What did we do
to fill you with such contempt?
1002
00:47:08,734 --> 00:47:11,695
Love you? Support you?
Love Rory? Support Rory?
1003
00:47:11,779 --> 00:47:13,363
I'm not filled with contempt.
1004
00:47:13,446 --> 00:47:16,158
All my other friends have children
who worship them,
1005
00:47:16,241 --> 00:47:17,701
who call them every day,
1006
00:47:17,785 --> 00:47:20,162
who take pride in the family name
and traditions.
1007
00:47:20,245 --> 00:47:21,246
I have pride.
1008
00:47:21,329 --> 00:47:24,166
Your father was a great man.
1009
00:47:24,249 --> 00:47:25,543
A pillar of the community.
1010
00:47:25,626 --> 00:47:27,920
- A man amongst men.
- I know.
1011
00:47:28,003 --> 00:47:30,506
And you dishonor him today
like this in his own house.
1012
00:47:30,590 --> 00:47:32,216
I didn't mean to dishonor him.
1013
00:47:32,300 --> 00:47:34,468
What did you mean to do?
Break my heart in public?
1014
00:47:34,553 --> 00:47:37,138
- No fun doing it in private anymore?
- Mom.
1015
00:47:37,222 --> 00:47:41,768
I know that you are in massive pain.
Believe it or not, I'm in pain, too.
1016
00:47:41,851 --> 00:47:45,313
I'm tired and my head is spinning,
and I haven't eaten in two days.
1017
00:47:45,396 --> 00:47:47,481
- You? Not eaten? Please.
- Yes, me!
1018
00:47:47,566 --> 00:47:50,318
I'm surprised you didn't have
a pizza delivered during "Ave Maria."
1019
00:47:50,401 --> 00:47:53,822
Well, I haven't eaten and I drank
my weight in single malt scotch.
1020
00:47:53,905 --> 00:47:55,823
I screwed up. I made a mistake.
1021
00:47:55,907 --> 00:47:57,701
That was premeditated.
1022
00:47:57,784 --> 00:48:00,787
How could it be premeditated
if I didn't know it was coming?
1023
00:48:00,870 --> 00:48:04,498
You never do anything unless
it's what you want to do. You never have.
1024
00:48:04,582 --> 00:48:07,252
You blow through life
like a natural disaster,
1025
00:48:07,335 --> 00:48:09,671
knocking down everything
and everyone in your path.
1026
00:48:09,754 --> 00:48:12,632
- Did Luke know what he was getting into?
- Don't.
1027
00:48:12,716 --> 00:48:14,175
Did you ever ask him what he wanted?
1028
00:48:14,258 --> 00:48:16,845
Where he wanted to live?
If he wanted children?
1029
00:48:16,928 --> 00:48:18,972
I'm sure that didn't matter
to Lorelai Gilmore.
1030
00:48:19,055 --> 00:48:21,725
Nothing matters to her
except what she wants and feels.
1031
00:48:21,808 --> 00:48:24,560
God help you
if she thinks you've wronged her.
1032
00:48:24,644 --> 00:48:28,522
She will hold onto that grudge forever
waiting to get back at you.
1033
00:48:28,606 --> 00:48:33,611
I made a mistake! A goddamn mistake!
You've never let me make a mistake ever.
1034
00:48:33,695 --> 00:48:36,781
Not once in my life, which is how
we always find ourselves here.
1035
00:48:36,865 --> 00:48:39,075
- Where?
- Standing in the middle of this room
1036
00:48:39,158 --> 00:48:40,660
yelling at each other like idiots!
1037
00:48:40,744 --> 00:48:44,205
How dare you call me an idiot!
I just lost my husband!
1038
00:48:44,288 --> 00:48:46,165
I just lost my father!
1039
00:48:46,249 --> 00:48:47,709
And you couldn't care less!
1040
00:48:47,792 --> 00:48:50,378
That's horrible.
1041
00:48:52,046 --> 00:48:53,297
You're horrible.
1042
00:48:53,381 --> 00:48:54,507
Get out!
1043
00:48:55,091 --> 00:48:57,677
First the help, then me.
Seems about right.
1044
00:48:57,761 --> 00:48:58,970
Go home!
1045
00:48:59,053 --> 00:49:02,099
Go back to your beloved town
with its carnies and misfits.
1046
00:49:02,182 --> 00:49:05,769
Tell them how your intolerable mother
yelled at you at your father's funeral.
1047
00:49:05,853 --> 00:49:08,773
They can all console you
and tell you what a witch I am
1048
00:49:08,856 --> 00:49:10,190
and how perfect you are!
1049
00:49:12,192 --> 00:49:14,862
Full freakin' circle.
1050
00:49:20,075 --> 00:49:22,453
You couldn't have just said
he was well-read?
1051
00:49:22,745 --> 00:49:25,998
- I know.
- "My father. Boy, did he love books."
1052
00:49:26,081 --> 00:49:27,416
I know, I know.
1053
00:49:27,499 --> 00:49:29,877
"And stamps.
Whoo, that stamp collection."
1054
00:49:29,960 --> 00:49:32,004
I was under a lot of pressure.
You weren't there.
1055
00:49:32,087 --> 00:49:34,256
And how did you neglect to tell me this?
1056
00:49:34,339 --> 00:49:36,926
- Oh, I didn't think she was mad anymore.
- You didn't?
1057
00:49:37,009 --> 00:49:39,762
Well, I assumed she was,
because she hadn't answered
1058
00:49:39,845 --> 00:49:42,682
any of my calls or e-mails
for the last four months,
1059
00:49:42,765 --> 00:49:44,684
but I thought she'd hide it
in front of you.
1060
00:49:44,767 --> 00:49:46,435
Because that's ever happened.
1061
00:49:49,688 --> 00:49:52,650
What could possibly elicit
that kind of smile in this house?
1062
00:49:53,651 --> 00:49:55,194
It smells meaty.
1063
00:49:55,277 --> 00:49:56,946
Yes, but what kind of meat?
1064
00:49:57,029 --> 00:49:59,114
And there's cheese, and layers of...
1065
00:50:00,032 --> 00:50:01,784
- It's crunchy.
- Huh.
1066
00:50:01,867 --> 00:50:04,954
No, wait, it's smooshy.
It's crunchy and smooshy.
1067
00:50:05,037 --> 00:50:08,708
- What's crunchy and smooshy?
- Peanut butter? Or badly mixed cement?
1068
00:50:08,791 --> 00:50:12,252
So we've got meat, cheese, peanut butter
or badly mixed cement.
1069
00:50:12,336 --> 00:50:13,921
For God's sake, just eat it.
1070
00:50:14,004 --> 00:50:16,215
I'll tell you what, I'll dive in first.
1071
00:50:16,298 --> 00:50:19,343
Mom always made me taste her food
before she'd eat a bite.
1072
00:50:21,762 --> 00:50:25,140
Mmm. Delicious.
And it could be peanut butter.
1073
00:50:25,224 --> 00:50:26,851
- Oh, yeah.
- Cool.
1074
00:50:26,934 --> 00:50:29,979
I appreciate you inviting me to dinner.
It was harrowing out there.
1075
00:50:30,562 --> 00:50:31,480
Who is this?
1076
00:50:31,563 --> 00:50:33,733
Kirk, your car broke down
at the end of the driveway.
1077
00:50:33,816 --> 00:50:36,194
It's lucky for me I'm a very loud crier.
1078
00:50:36,277 --> 00:50:39,489
If your maid hadn't heard my sobs,
I don't know what would've happened.
1079
00:50:39,572 --> 00:50:42,701
- You would've run out of Kleenex.
- It's nice we can joke about it now.
1080
00:50:43,201 --> 00:50:45,453
Thanks for letting me stash
some boxes here, Grandma.
1081
00:50:45,537 --> 00:50:48,498
- Where are you going to live?
- I'll get my own place again, eventually.
1082
00:50:48,581 --> 00:50:51,084
For now she's Jack Kerouac.
She's On the Road-ing it.
1083
00:50:51,167 --> 00:50:52,168
Pass the peyote.
1084
00:50:52,252 --> 00:50:56,214
But after you've passed the peyote,
what bathroom will you use to throw up in?
1085
00:50:56,297 --> 00:50:59,843
Well, I have many options.
Paris lets me stay with her in New York.
1086
00:50:59,926 --> 00:51:02,678
- Or I can stay with Mom, Lane or you.
- So you're homeless.
1087
00:51:02,763 --> 00:51:04,347
I am not homeless.
1088
00:51:04,430 --> 00:51:06,599
- But you don't live anyplace.
- Just for now.
1089
00:51:06,682 --> 00:51:09,185
You're okay with this
vagabond existence she's leading?
1090
00:51:09,269 --> 00:51:10,771
Like... like a groupie?
1091
00:51:10,854 --> 00:51:13,148
I wish she was a groupie.
I'd get better tickets to stuff.
1092
00:51:13,231 --> 00:51:16,359
- Luke! Buddy!
- Hey, everybody. Emily.
1093
00:51:16,442 --> 00:51:18,319
- Careful!
- Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry.
1094
00:51:18,403 --> 00:51:19,988
- No, I'll do that.
- Oh, sure.
1095
00:51:20,071 --> 00:51:21,156
Thanks for coming.
1096
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:24,575
Yes. Saved us all
a very expensive cab ride.
1097
00:51:24,659 --> 00:51:26,912
Are you all leaving now?
We all just sat down.
1098
00:51:26,995 --> 00:51:30,165
Oh, no, please. Just eat.
Um, no rush. I can just, uh...
1099
00:51:31,082 --> 00:51:32,876
- Buh-buh-buh!
- Oh...
1100
00:51:35,253 --> 00:51:36,922
This really is delicious.
1101
00:51:38,131 --> 00:51:41,009
Oh, thank you.
1102
00:51:41,092 --> 00:51:42,093
You don't like it?
1103
00:51:42,177 --> 00:51:45,305
What? Oh, uh... Okay.
1104
00:51:46,389 --> 00:51:47,432
Very good.
1105
00:51:47,515 --> 00:51:49,851
Isn't it? I could eat here every night.
1106
00:51:51,561 --> 00:51:53,063
- Luke?
- Hmm, yes?
1107
00:51:53,146 --> 00:51:55,356
What do you think about
Rory's living situation?
1108
00:51:55,440 --> 00:51:57,025
- Um...
- Her traipsing around
1109
00:51:57,108 --> 00:51:59,777
from one couch to another
like she's Llewyn Davis.
1110
00:51:59,861 --> 00:52:00,862
Oh, it's fine.
1111
00:52:01,654 --> 00:52:06,159
Well, I mean... you know,
she's grown, and she's...
1112
00:52:06,659 --> 00:52:10,331
Uh, did you read her New Yorker piece
that she wrote? I put it on the menu.
1113
00:52:10,414 --> 00:52:13,584
Why is everyone treating this
like it's a normal rite of passage?
1114
00:52:13,667 --> 00:52:17,964
Rory is a 32-year-old college-educated
woman with no permanent address.
1115
00:52:18,047 --> 00:52:19,090
That's not normal.
1116
00:52:19,173 --> 00:52:21,425
Um, can I be excused?
1117
00:52:21,508 --> 00:52:24,136
They're playing soccer
and they seem to be short a man.
1118
00:52:24,220 --> 00:52:25,346
Go.
1119
00:52:27,849 --> 00:52:29,808
Hi, I'm Kirk! Over here!
1120
00:52:30,767 --> 00:52:32,603
Explain to me again who that person is?
1121
00:52:32,686 --> 00:52:35,772
- Oh, that I could.
- Grandma, don't worry about me.
1122
00:52:35,857 --> 00:52:39,110
I know exactly what I'm doing.
I'm busier than I've ever been.
1123
00:52:39,193 --> 00:52:40,527
I'm traveling and pursuing a goal.
1124
00:52:40,611 --> 00:52:43,447
I don't have to store my stuff here
if you're going to worry.
1125
00:52:43,530 --> 00:52:46,367
You can leave your things here.
That's not what I meant.
1126
00:52:47,284 --> 00:52:49,578
- There's a chair now.
- Oh, sure.
1127
00:52:54,166 --> 00:52:57,294
Goal!
1128
00:53:02,716 --> 00:53:04,051
Call me from London.
1129
00:53:04,969 --> 00:53:06,178
- Luke.
- Yes?
1130
00:53:06,262 --> 00:53:09,265
- That was just my way of saying goodbye.
- Oh, goodbye.
1131
00:53:09,348 --> 00:53:11,850
- Good night, Mom.
- Kirk, we're leaving!
1132
00:53:11,934 --> 00:53:13,352
- Talk tomorrow.
- Yep.
1133
00:53:16,438 --> 00:53:17,814
Kirk! Now!
1134
00:53:33,622 --> 00:53:35,582
- Thank you, Luke.
- Oh, you're welcome, Kirk.
1135
00:53:35,666 --> 00:53:39,378
Before I go, we should get our stories
straight about what happened.
1136
00:53:39,461 --> 00:53:42,757
Your car broke down, I drove to Hartford,
and drove you back home.
1137
00:53:42,840 --> 00:53:45,552
Or you broke down, I drove to Hartford
and picked you up,
1138
00:53:45,635 --> 00:53:46,678
and drove you back home.
1139
00:53:46,761 --> 00:53:47,930
- What?
- Much better story.
1140
00:53:48,013 --> 00:53:49,056
No.
1141
00:53:49,139 --> 00:53:52,642
My business is young, Luke.
There's kinks to work out.
1142
00:53:52,725 --> 00:53:55,145
People don't want to know
how the sausage gets made.
1143
00:53:55,228 --> 00:53:56,229
They just want to eat.
1144
00:53:56,313 --> 00:53:58,856
There's no arguing
or even responding to that, Kirk.
1145
00:53:58,941 --> 00:54:00,567
Great. Thank you.
1146
00:54:00,650 --> 00:54:02,277
Damn it.
1147
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:04,154
Petal, stop right now!
1148
00:54:04,237 --> 00:54:06,864
I know you hear me!
I know you hear me!
1149
00:54:06,949 --> 00:54:09,909
You get back here!
Curb right! Curb right!
1150
00:54:09,993 --> 00:54:12,120
- Go, Petal!
- Don't encourage her.
1151
00:54:15,582 --> 00:54:17,250
- What's all this?
- What?
1152
00:54:17,334 --> 00:54:21,671
Dictionary, thesaurus, Mathematical
Principles of Natural Philosophy...
1153
00:54:21,754 --> 00:54:23,506
Aw, you got a letter from April.
1154
00:54:23,590 --> 00:54:26,551
I was two hours into deciphering it
when I got your call.
1155
00:54:26,634 --> 00:54:27,677
"Hello, Pater..."
1156
00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:29,721
- "Father," British or Latin.
- Sure.
1157
00:54:29,804 --> 00:54:31,764
She used the word "ontological"
three times.
1158
00:54:31,848 --> 00:54:33,976
She used it last time.
I looked it up and forgot it.
1159
00:54:34,059 --> 00:54:35,727
I was looking it up again when you called.
1160
00:54:35,810 --> 00:54:38,521
That's what you get when you spawn
an MIT-going genius.
1161
00:54:38,605 --> 00:54:41,274
Rory's smart. She speaks
like she doesn't need subtitles.
1162
00:54:41,358 --> 00:54:42,609
But she grew up with me.
1163
00:54:42,692 --> 00:54:45,403
She learned her language skills
via The Breakfast Club.
1164
00:54:46,071 --> 00:54:47,864
- Hey, how old is this coffee?
- Old.
1165
00:54:47,947 --> 00:54:48,948
Oh, well.
1166
00:54:50,242 --> 00:54:51,576
- Hey, Luke...
- What are you doing?
1167
00:54:51,659 --> 00:54:54,329
- Eating sprinkles.
- Wait, but... Never mind.
1168
00:54:54,412 --> 00:54:56,247
Uh, did I tell you?
1169
00:54:56,498 --> 00:54:58,541
Michel's husband Frederick wants a baby.
1170
00:54:58,625 --> 00:55:02,087
Frederick, the guy who ordered
three pancakes on three separate plates?
1171
00:55:02,170 --> 00:55:04,172
The town ought to buy another pig.
1172
00:55:04,255 --> 00:55:06,341
I can't watch this anymore.
1173
00:55:07,009 --> 00:55:09,552
Hey, Luke...
did you ever want a kid?
1174
00:55:10,470 --> 00:55:13,099
- I have a kid.
- I mean a fresh kid.
1175
00:55:13,182 --> 00:55:15,559
What the hell is a fresh kid?
1176
00:55:15,643 --> 00:55:18,270
A kid that's fresh. A kid with me.
1177
00:55:19,397 --> 00:55:22,233
We never had a serious conversation
about it, I don't think.
1178
00:55:22,316 --> 00:55:24,193
That moment at the Twickham house,
but since then...
1179
00:55:24,277 --> 00:55:28,281
I figured if you wanted another kid
you would say something.
1180
00:55:28,364 --> 00:55:30,658
I figured if you wanted another kid,
you'd say something.
1181
00:55:30,741 --> 00:55:32,035
- I brought it up once.
- When?
1182
00:55:32,118 --> 00:55:33,702
- Five, six years ago.
- I don't remember.
1183
00:55:33,786 --> 00:55:34,828
At the little league game.
1184
00:55:34,912 --> 00:55:38,416
The kid playing right field
walked off mid-inning to use the bathroom.
1185
00:55:38,499 --> 00:55:40,710
I turned to you and I said,
"That's the kid."
1186
00:55:41,544 --> 00:55:43,546
- "That's the kid"?
- Yes.
1187
00:55:43,629 --> 00:55:45,798
"That's the kid" is how you say
you want to have a kid?
1188
00:55:45,881 --> 00:55:46,799
In so many words.
1189
00:55:46,882 --> 00:55:49,093
No, that is not you saying
you want to have a kid.
1190
00:55:49,177 --> 00:55:52,180
"That's the kid" is acknowledging the kid
about whom you said,
1191
00:55:52,263 --> 00:55:54,682
- "That's the kid."
- I thought you knew what I meant.
1192
00:55:54,765 --> 00:55:56,809
Impossible, because I don't speak "huh"?
1193
00:55:56,892 --> 00:56:00,188
Well... that's what I thought
and you didn't pursue it, so...
1194
00:56:00,271 --> 00:56:01,647
- It was up to me to pursue it?
- No.
1195
00:56:01,731 --> 00:56:03,315
Sorry, I...
1196
00:56:05,068 --> 00:56:06,944
Well, how do you feel about it now?
1197
00:56:07,027 --> 00:56:08,821
What?
1198
00:56:08,904 --> 00:56:10,198
Do you still want a kid?
1199
00:56:10,281 --> 00:56:13,326
Oh, well, I mean... I mean, isn't it,
uh, too late?
1200
00:56:13,409 --> 00:56:15,494
- I don't know.
- Look, forget it.
1201
00:56:15,578 --> 00:56:17,246
I have kids. I have April
1202
00:56:17,330 --> 00:56:20,916
and I've always considered Rory
to be a little bit mine, so...
1203
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:24,837
Yeah, but she was so much fun to raise.
Don't you want to have that kind of fun?
1204
00:56:24,920 --> 00:56:27,715
I have fun. Look at all the chairs
I get to put on tables.
1205
00:56:27,798 --> 00:56:30,008
You don't wanna toss a ball around
with your son?
1206
00:56:30,093 --> 00:56:32,428
- There's Jess.
- I said toss a ball "with" not "at."
1207
00:56:32,511 --> 00:56:33,929
I'm fine.
1208
00:56:34,013 --> 00:56:36,766
- You'll never see your kid's graduation.
- I went to Rory's graduation.
1209
00:56:38,142 --> 00:56:40,728
- It's not the same.
- I know it's not the same.
1210
00:56:42,230 --> 00:56:43,939
I don't want you to miss out on anything.
1211
00:56:44,022 --> 00:56:46,443
Nobody gets to have everything
they want in life.
1212
00:56:46,526 --> 00:56:48,862
All in all, I think I did pretty good.
1213
00:56:56,120 --> 00:56:57,537
Okay, Sandy, see you then.
1214
00:56:57,621 --> 00:56:59,581
- Who's Sandy?
- Do you have to know everything?
1215
00:56:59,664 --> 00:57:02,376
I'm your best friend
and business partner, so yes.
1216
00:57:02,459 --> 00:57:04,043
Sandy is our surrogate.
1217
00:57:04,127 --> 00:57:05,921
- You're doing it.
- We're thinking about it.
1218
00:57:06,004 --> 00:57:07,046
Exciting!
1219
00:57:07,131 --> 00:57:10,717
I just hope it works.
A baby would really help everything.
1220
00:57:10,801 --> 00:57:13,261
- We want cake!
- Coming. Take it.
1221
00:57:13,345 --> 00:57:14,888
Who's gonna help me
light the candles?
1222
00:57:14,971 --> 00:57:17,015
- I will, I will!
- Fun, fun, fun!
1223
00:57:25,732 --> 00:57:27,651
Here you go. Freshly made.
1224
00:57:27,734 --> 00:57:30,445
Thanks. It's been at least an hour
since my last infusion.
1225
00:57:30,529 --> 00:57:33,865
So, I have all your paperwork.
I'll make sure everything's in order.
1226
00:57:33,948 --> 00:57:36,493
- You can flip through this while you wait.
- Thanks.
1227
00:57:41,706 --> 00:57:42,749
Really good coffee.
1228
00:57:42,832 --> 00:57:45,043
- Is it?
- Yep. Strong. A little crunchy.
1229
00:57:45,127 --> 00:57:46,295
Good. Good.
1230
00:57:47,629 --> 00:57:50,257
Okay, I will take a look.
1231
00:57:55,512 --> 00:57:57,931
- You're supposed to be looking with me.
- Sorry.
1232
00:57:58,014 --> 00:58:00,099
So, what are we looking at here?
1233
00:58:00,184 --> 00:58:02,101
- Potential surrogates.
- Surrogates. Yes.
1234
00:58:02,186 --> 00:58:04,103
And these surrogates will...
1235
00:58:04,188 --> 00:58:05,855
- Carry the baby.
- Our baby.
1236
00:58:05,939 --> 00:58:08,316
- Yes. They'll carry our baby.
- I'm confused.
1237
00:58:08,400 --> 00:58:10,694
Am I supposed to be having sex
with these women?
1238
00:58:10,777 --> 00:58:12,904
- What?
- I don't wanna have sex with her.
1239
00:58:12,987 --> 00:58:15,240
No, you're not having sex
with these women.
1240
00:58:15,324 --> 00:58:17,451
- What? You'd have sex with her?
- No.
1241
00:58:17,534 --> 00:58:19,495
- How about her?
- No.
1242
00:58:19,579 --> 00:58:20,621
She's holding a bat.
1243
00:58:20,705 --> 00:58:22,748
You could play softball
and do it in the dugout.
1244
00:58:22,832 --> 00:58:25,335
I don't want to have sex with her
or any of these women.
1245
00:58:25,418 --> 00:58:27,628
I don't want to have sex with anyone ever.
1246
00:58:27,712 --> 00:58:30,215
- Except me.
- Lorelai, why are we here?
1247
00:58:30,298 --> 00:58:32,175
I tried to broach the subject of adoption.
1248
00:58:32,258 --> 00:58:34,009
I don't want to go to Bangladesh
to get a baby.
1249
00:58:34,093 --> 00:58:35,886
I don't want to go to Woodbury
to get a light bulb.
1250
00:58:35,970 --> 00:58:37,930
If you won't adopt,
this may be our only option,
1251
00:58:38,013 --> 00:58:40,891
- and I don't want another picture window.
- What?
1252
00:58:40,975 --> 00:58:43,519
When we remodeled the house,
you wanted a picture window,
1253
00:58:43,603 --> 00:58:47,607
but it looked weird with the other windows
and so you gave it up. You settled.
1254
00:58:47,690 --> 00:58:50,025
I do not remember
wanting a picture window.
1255
00:58:50,109 --> 00:58:52,653
Well, you did.
Now it's another thing on the list of
1256
00:58:52,737 --> 00:58:54,739
"things I don't have
because I'm with Lorelai."
1257
00:58:54,822 --> 00:58:57,032
- Like peace.
- And a picture window.
1258
00:58:57,116 --> 00:58:59,660
I do not want a picture window.
1259
00:58:59,744 --> 00:59:03,206
Moron!
When I say "a VIP," I mean a VIP.
1260
00:59:03,289 --> 00:59:04,457
I got them coffee.
1261
00:59:04,540 --> 00:59:06,876
If we were Starbucks,
you'd be employee of the month.
1262
00:59:06,959 --> 00:59:10,504
Since we're not, you're just
the first Smith grad I've fired this week.
1263
00:59:11,088 --> 00:59:14,634
Lorelai! So great to see you!
I am so sorry for the wait.
1264
00:59:14,717 --> 00:59:17,052
- Paris, that's fine.
- Don't stand there shaking. Just go.
1265
00:59:17,136 --> 00:59:18,346
Apologize to your parents.
1266
00:59:18,429 --> 00:59:20,931
Tell them you'll pay them back
for the semesters you studied
1267
00:59:21,015 --> 00:59:23,726
Buffy the Vampire Slayer's effect
on the feminist agenda.
1268
00:59:23,809 --> 00:59:26,562
- Okay, so, hello, Luke.
- Hi.
1269
00:59:26,646 --> 00:59:28,523
- You remember me.
- You're hard to forget.
1270
00:59:28,606 --> 00:59:30,483
Flattering. Let's go.
1271
00:59:31,609 --> 00:59:35,655
Now, I rarely act
as a case personal liaison anymore,
1272
00:59:35,738 --> 00:59:37,782
but when I heard it was you coming in,
I said,
1273
00:59:37,865 --> 00:59:40,326
"That woman was practically
my second mother.
1274
00:59:40,410 --> 00:59:42,245
No one else is handling this case."
1275
00:59:42,328 --> 00:59:44,914
Aw, that's very sweet of you, Paris.
1276
00:59:44,997 --> 00:59:47,583
So, the spiel. Dynasty Makers.
1277
00:59:47,667 --> 00:59:50,085
We are the largest full-service fertility
1278
00:59:50,169 --> 00:59:52,172
and surrogacy clinic
in the Western Hemisphere.
1279
00:59:52,256 --> 00:59:55,634
No other company offers more services,
medical and legal,
1280
00:59:55,717 --> 00:59:58,304
and no company has
a higher approval rating.
1281
00:59:58,387 --> 00:59:59,513
Did you check Yelp?
1282
00:59:59,596 --> 01:00:01,014
- No.
- Check Yelp.
1283
01:00:01,097 --> 01:00:03,016
- Oh.
- So, you know how this works?
1284
01:00:03,099 --> 01:00:05,769
Uh, we look through there and pick?
1285
01:00:05,852 --> 01:00:08,314
Give me that.
Bargain-basement breeders.
1286
01:00:08,397 --> 01:00:12,484
I'm not letting any of those
bottle-service bimbos carry your baby.
1287
01:00:12,568 --> 01:00:15,654
No, for you I pull out the prime meat.
1288
01:00:18,031 --> 01:00:19,449
Am I blacking out?
1289
01:00:19,533 --> 01:00:21,242
How's Rory?
She back from London?
1290
01:00:21,327 --> 01:00:22,828
She was, but she's there now.
1291
01:00:22,911 --> 01:00:24,871
- Hard to keep track of our girl, huh?
- Yeah.
1292
01:00:24,955 --> 01:00:28,417
Okay. So, it's pretty cut and dry here.
1293
01:00:28,500 --> 01:00:32,087
We plant an egg in a viable body,
we fertilize it and out comes a baby.
1294
01:00:32,170 --> 01:00:34,381
Bing bang boom.
Have you thought about eggs?
1295
01:00:34,465 --> 01:00:37,509
- Uh...
- Using eggs over age 44 with IVF,
1296
01:00:37,593 --> 01:00:40,762
the chances of having a baby
is about 1% per try.
1297
01:00:40,846 --> 01:00:43,515
- Wow, super fun fact.
- She keep you in stitches, this one?
1298
01:00:43,599 --> 01:00:46,226
Oh, yeah.
Hey, how much is this gonna cost?
1299
01:00:46,310 --> 01:00:49,313
A lot. But, again, Lorelai's
the only mother I ever had,
1300
01:00:49,396 --> 01:00:52,816
except for Nanny Soledad,
so there's mondo discounts involved.
1301
01:00:52,899 --> 01:00:54,860
How much time
did you spend with this girl?
1302
01:00:54,943 --> 01:00:56,320
- So, Luke.
- Yeah.
1303
01:00:56,403 --> 01:00:57,488
How are the boys?
1304
01:00:57,571 --> 01:00:59,823
- What? What is she doing?
- I don't know.
1305
01:00:59,906 --> 01:01:02,576
I'm good at visually sussing out
the situation down there.
1306
01:01:02,659 --> 01:01:04,202
Please stop sussing.
1307
01:01:04,285 --> 01:01:07,623
From a cursory glance,
you seem symmetrical and well-balanced.
1308
01:01:07,706 --> 01:01:09,375
Make sure he sticks with the boxers.
1309
01:01:09,458 --> 01:01:13,044
Okay, here's a sampling of what we've got.
1310
01:01:13,128 --> 01:01:16,423
Blondes, brunettes and redheads.
1311
01:01:16,507 --> 01:01:19,885
Tall, short, athletic, artsy.
1312
01:01:19,968 --> 01:01:23,514
We even got 'em
with a little extra junk in the trunk,
1313
01:01:23,597 --> 01:01:25,642
if you secretly like 'em that way, Luke.
1314
01:01:25,725 --> 01:01:29,396
I'm sorry. Am I or am I not having sex
with this woman?
1315
01:01:29,479 --> 01:01:30,897
That's a sick thought.
1316
01:01:30,980 --> 01:01:33,107
You're not having sex with her.
She's married.
1317
01:01:33,190 --> 01:01:35,610
- You made it sound like...
- We've got Jews, Christians,
1318
01:01:35,693 --> 01:01:38,780
Muslims, Hindus, atheists, one Wiccan,
1319
01:01:38,863 --> 01:01:41,491
and for a premium,
you can get the cream of the crop,
1320
01:01:41,574 --> 01:01:43,325
top of the line, army wives.
1321
01:01:43,410 --> 01:01:46,245
Sturdy, reliable, great at packing.
1322
01:01:46,328 --> 01:01:50,207
Oh, wait, sorry.
I have to take her off the available list.
1323
01:01:50,291 --> 01:01:53,795
She just conceived.
Very high-profile client.
1324
01:01:53,878 --> 01:01:56,172
Let's just call him... Doogie Howser.
1325
01:01:56,255 --> 01:01:57,924
You mean Neil Patrick Harris?
1326
01:01:58,007 --> 01:01:59,759
Wow. Little louder, please.
1327
01:01:59,842 --> 01:02:03,471
Okay, so now his cover's blown,
but, yes, it's Neil Patrick Harris.
1328
01:02:03,555 --> 01:02:05,932
- What kind of a cover...
- It's Neil Patrick Harris.
1329
01:02:06,015 --> 01:02:07,642
Did you hear?
It's Neil Patrick Harris.
1330
01:02:07,725 --> 01:02:09,769
- I did hear, yes.
- Neil Patrick Harris.
1331
01:02:09,852 --> 01:02:13,398
- You look upset, Luke.
- No. What makes you think I'm upset?
1332
01:02:13,481 --> 01:02:15,650
You're not excited
about Neil Patrick Harris.
1333
01:02:15,733 --> 01:02:19,904
I'm very excited for Neil Patrick Harris
if this is what he wants.
1334
01:02:19,987 --> 01:02:21,113
Is it not what you want?
1335
01:02:21,197 --> 01:02:22,364
- I...
- I understand.
1336
01:02:22,449 --> 01:02:23,741
It's a big decision, having kids.
1337
01:02:23,825 --> 01:02:27,078
There's rewards,
but also constant panic and worry.
1338
01:02:27,161 --> 01:02:29,581
Are they healthy? Does everything work?
Are they smart?
1339
01:02:29,664 --> 01:02:33,418
McDonald's fry stations are filled
with college-educated moderate achievers.
1340
01:02:33,501 --> 01:02:35,252
And then there's the lottery of nature.
1341
01:02:35,336 --> 01:02:37,004
I mean, I said to Neil,
1342
01:02:37,088 --> 01:02:40,007
"Are you prepared to have
a really unattractive child
1343
01:02:40,091 --> 01:02:41,593
that would not look good on camera?
1344
01:02:41,676 --> 01:02:44,053
Would you be okay if your child
1345
01:02:44,136 --> 01:02:46,388
was not an actor but an agent?"
1346
01:02:46,473 --> 01:02:48,808
- I need to leave.
- Luke, wait.
1347
01:02:51,018 --> 01:02:53,688
Oh. Sorry, Paris, I...
1348
01:02:53,771 --> 01:02:57,443
Yes. Go. Talk it through.
I'll send you a DVD of my top picks.
1349
01:02:57,526 --> 01:02:59,528
I'll also include a copy of Gone Girl.
1350
01:02:59,611 --> 01:03:02,030
- NPH was great in that.
- Thanks.
1351
01:03:04,783 --> 01:03:05,784
No.
1352
01:03:19,798 --> 01:03:21,967
Thank you, Francis.
1353
01:03:24,094 --> 01:03:26,388
Oh, sod it, bring the bottle.
We're celebrating.
1354
01:03:28,724 --> 01:03:31,101
I love coming here
because they hate that I do.
1355
01:03:31,184 --> 01:03:33,186
- Really?
- They wouldn't let women in
1356
01:03:33,270 --> 01:03:35,523
until the mid '80s.
It was only supposed to be
1357
01:03:35,606 --> 01:03:39,401
well-behaved wives with tiny feet,
not hellions like myself.
1358
01:03:39,485 --> 01:03:41,737
I helped kick open those doors.
1359
01:03:41,820 --> 01:03:44,490
- Oh, thank you, love.
- My pleasure, Ms. Shropshire.
1360
01:03:45,699 --> 01:03:48,285
So, to us.
1361
01:03:48,368 --> 01:03:50,245
Hellions in arms.
1362
01:03:52,455 --> 01:03:56,585
Mmm. I must tell you,
I've had such amazing feedback
1363
01:03:56,669 --> 01:03:57,920
for the Talk of the Town piece.
1364
01:03:58,003 --> 01:03:59,797
Far more than for anything
I've ever written.
1365
01:03:59,880 --> 01:04:01,256
Oh, I doubt that.
1366
01:04:01,339 --> 01:04:03,383
So, the book.
1367
01:04:03,466 --> 01:04:05,385
- Yes.
- I go back and forth,
1368
01:04:05,468 --> 01:04:06,845
back and forth, you know.
1369
01:04:06,929 --> 01:04:09,056
I never really wanted
to write about myself.
1370
01:04:09,139 --> 01:04:13,060
My fields are feminism,
environmentalism, and who am I?
1371
01:04:14,728 --> 01:04:19,692
But if I found someone really like-minded
who I could write it with,
1372
01:04:19,775 --> 01:04:23,904
somebody like yourself...
Well, that's intriguing.
1373
01:04:23,987 --> 01:04:26,156
I've never done anything like this before.
1374
01:04:26,239 --> 01:04:28,659
I don't care about that.
I only care that it's honest.
1375
01:04:28,742 --> 01:04:32,622
- I want to be seen as I am, warts and all.
- I'm great with warts.
1376
01:04:32,706 --> 01:04:36,543
Even if I waver,
if I let my vanity in the door,
1377
01:04:36,626 --> 01:04:38,587
you must remain steadfast.
1378
01:04:38,670 --> 01:04:41,422
Francis, what is that?
1379
01:04:41,505 --> 01:04:44,759
Uh, this is the fluke carpaccio
with lime and chilies.
1380
01:04:44,843 --> 01:04:46,219
Is it?
1381
01:04:46,302 --> 01:04:48,847
And who's the genius
who ordered this magnificent dish?
1382
01:04:48,930 --> 01:04:51,182
Uh, Dr. Reynolds over there.
1383
01:04:51,265 --> 01:04:52,892
Hmm...
1384
01:04:52,976 --> 01:04:55,103
Would it be possible
for this particular plate
1385
01:04:55,186 --> 01:04:57,647
to go missing and for you to rush back
1386
01:04:57,731 --> 01:04:59,983
and get another one
for the darling doctor over there?
1387
01:05:00,066 --> 01:05:01,610
Uh, of course, Naomi.
1388
01:05:05,154 --> 01:05:07,866
Oh, it's delicious.
1389
01:05:07,949 --> 01:05:10,785
Everything tastes so much better
when it's stolen.
1390
01:05:10,869 --> 01:05:12,787
Mmm, that is good.
1391
01:05:12,871 --> 01:05:15,248
Mmm, so, let's talk time frame.
1392
01:05:15,331 --> 01:05:19,127
I think it'll be about eight weeks
to work up a proposal for the publishers
1393
01:05:19,210 --> 01:05:20,837
and supply a sample chapter.
1394
01:05:20,920 --> 01:05:23,590
How much access can you give me?
Interviews are everything.
1395
01:05:23,673 --> 01:05:26,760
Oh, full access, darling.
Follow me everywhere except the loo.
1396
01:05:26,843 --> 01:05:29,345
Actually, the loo's fine, too.
1397
01:05:29,428 --> 01:05:32,473
- Francis, who's that burger for?
- Um, Ms. Kipney.
1398
01:05:32,557 --> 01:05:35,643
Trust me, she won't enjoy it.
Half of it's going to her dog.
1399
01:05:37,145 --> 01:05:40,189
So, um, the only thing left to discuss
is financial stuff.
1400
01:05:40,273 --> 01:05:41,733
The lawyers can do that, right?
1401
01:05:41,816 --> 01:05:44,903
It's 50-50. Split down the middle.
We're in this together. Yes?
1402
01:05:44,986 --> 01:05:46,362
Yes.
1403
01:05:46,445 --> 01:05:47,614
Right.
1404
01:05:47,697 --> 01:05:50,449
Now, keep your eyes peeled for dessert.
1405
01:05:52,576 --> 01:05:56,539
I can't believe it's only two o'clock.
Two o'clock in the afternoon.
1406
01:05:56,623 --> 01:05:58,541
I feel like I've been awake for days.
1407
01:05:58,625 --> 01:06:02,504
It's the jet lag. And the bourbon.
I drank straight bourbon.
1408
01:06:02,588 --> 01:06:04,923
I'm now a midday straight bourbon drinker.
1409
01:06:05,007 --> 01:06:08,761
I'm gonna have to keep up with Naomi
if I'm going to write this book.
1410
01:06:08,844 --> 01:06:12,890
She drinks as fast as she talks
and she never seems to get tipsy at all.
1411
01:06:12,973 --> 01:06:15,225
She seemed to get smarter
and more coherent.
1412
01:06:15,309 --> 01:06:18,395
Or maybe she just seems smarter
and more coherent.
1413
01:06:18,478 --> 01:06:19,604
This is great, right?
1414
01:06:19,689 --> 01:06:23,358
I mean, now I have something concrete
to talk about at my Condé Nast meeting,
1415
01:06:23,442 --> 01:06:28,405
and she mentioned publishing excerpts
in Vanity Fair, which would be amazing.
1416
01:06:28,488 --> 01:06:31,533
It's not really what I do,
but it's good for now.
1417
01:06:32,451 --> 01:06:34,829
And it's money.
Money is nice.
1418
01:06:34,912 --> 01:06:38,624
Now I have to hang out with her more
to get a handle on the first few chapters
1419
01:06:38,708 --> 01:06:40,876
so we can bid it out and see who wants it.
1420
01:06:40,960 --> 01:06:43,462
That starts in a month,
when she gets back from India.
1421
01:06:43,545 --> 01:06:46,173
Basically, I had a good day.
How was your day?
1422
01:06:46,256 --> 01:06:48,508
Well, I had my dry cleaning delivered.
1423
01:06:48,592 --> 01:06:50,010
- Oh, I think I win.
- I don't know.
1424
01:06:50,094 --> 01:06:51,595
I really like these pants, so...
1425
01:06:53,055 --> 01:06:55,140
- I'm glad it went well.
- It did.
1426
01:06:55,224 --> 01:06:58,310
- Tonight, I'll take you out to celebrate.
- I'd like that.
1427
01:06:58,393 --> 01:07:01,271
Tomorrow, I'll tell you all I've heard
about Naomi Shropshire.
1428
01:07:01,355 --> 01:07:03,315
I don't care if she's difficult.
1429
01:07:03,398 --> 01:07:05,943
Oh, she's difficult and a little weird.
1430
01:07:06,026 --> 01:07:08,070
Well, I like weird.
I was formed by weird.
1431
01:07:08,153 --> 01:07:10,239
It could be great,
and you deserve that.
1432
01:07:10,322 --> 01:07:12,408
I do. I do deserve that.
1433
01:07:12,491 --> 01:07:14,869
Did I tell you she lost her shoes
at the club?
1434
01:07:14,952 --> 01:07:17,412
- You did not.
- I didn't notice until we were leaving.
1435
01:07:17,496 --> 01:07:20,499
She was walking as if she had shoes on.
I mention it and she said,
1436
01:07:20,582 --> 01:07:24,128
"I left them somewhere."
How do you do that? It's snowing outside.
1437
01:07:24,211 --> 01:07:26,255
- See? Weird.
- Weird makes good copy.
1438
01:07:26,338 --> 01:07:29,717
- So does a great writer.
- Those pants did put you in a good mood.
1439
01:07:32,011 --> 01:07:33,220
Do you have to go back to work?
1440
01:07:33,303 --> 01:07:35,431
The pants can't be
the accomplishment of my day.
1441
01:07:35,515 --> 01:07:38,143
Plus, I have competition now.
You're going to be an author.
1442
01:07:38,226 --> 01:07:40,771
- It's not like I'm John McPhee.
- Yet.
1443
01:07:40,854 --> 01:07:43,023
I'll send the car for you at 8:00.
1444
01:07:43,106 --> 01:07:45,108
- I'm gonna use your desktop, okay?
- All yours.
1445
01:07:45,191 --> 01:07:48,486
- Where are those boxes I sent here?
- The maid stuffed them in the closet.
1446
01:07:48,570 --> 01:07:50,530
- I need to look for something.
- Your lucky outfit?
1447
01:07:50,613 --> 01:07:51,697
Do not mock.
1448
01:07:51,782 --> 01:07:53,324
I am not mocking.
It's a great outfit.
1449
01:07:53,408 --> 01:07:55,618
You were wearing it
when I saw you in Hamburg.
1450
01:07:56,995 --> 01:08:00,165
Hey, is there anything in here
that you don't want me to see?
1451
01:08:00,248 --> 01:08:03,459
- Like body parts?
- That would be on the list, sure.
1452
01:08:03,543 --> 01:08:07,047
No, like, uh... other girl's things.
1453
01:08:07,130 --> 01:08:08,757
- All clear.
- Okay.
1454
01:08:08,840 --> 01:08:11,885
Hey... I wouldn't do that.
1455
01:08:12,177 --> 01:08:14,387
Leave things around for you just to...
1456
01:08:14,470 --> 01:08:16,431
- I wasn't accusing...
- I know. I'm just...
1457
01:08:17,515 --> 01:08:21,519
Look, we have an agreement.
What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
1458
01:08:21,603 --> 01:08:22,729
We do.
1459
01:08:23,729 --> 01:08:26,316
And when we leave Vegas,
we forget about Vegas
1460
01:08:26,399 --> 01:08:29,277
until we're back in Vegas
and then it's just us in Vegas until...
1461
01:08:29,360 --> 01:08:30,278
Throw me a rope, man.
1462
01:08:32,322 --> 01:08:33,281
I'll see you at 8:00.
1463
01:08:37,327 --> 01:08:39,871
- Your phone.
- What's it say?
1464
01:08:39,955 --> 01:08:41,832
"Paul dinner. Don't forget."
1465
01:08:41,915 --> 01:08:44,250
- Oh, crap.
- That's a lot of exclamation points.
1466
01:08:44,334 --> 01:08:46,502
- I forgot.
- It was the excitement about my pants.
1467
01:08:46,586 --> 01:08:48,838
- Go. Vegas.
- But... Yes. Vegas.
1468
01:08:50,841 --> 01:08:53,426
I've got to break up
with this guy.
1469
01:09:01,767 --> 01:09:04,813
- Excuse me, your password?
- Wafflehousebutterbob.
1470
01:09:04,896 --> 01:09:06,689
- Cute.
- Isn't it, though?
1471
01:09:06,772 --> 01:09:08,400
Okay, I'm here now.
1472
01:09:08,484 --> 01:09:11,153
Uh-huh. You two, park it over there.
1473
01:09:11,237 --> 01:09:15,115
No, there is no return policy.
What's she going to return? It's a baby.
1474
01:09:15,532 --> 01:09:16,909
I'll call and see if she wants it,
1475
01:09:16,993 --> 01:09:19,620
but last time it was Brad
who put the kibosh on it.
1476
01:09:19,703 --> 01:09:21,247
- Hello, Luke.
- Paris, hey.
1477
01:09:21,330 --> 01:09:23,332
Could you bring them a salad, no croutons?
1478
01:09:23,415 --> 01:09:25,126
Don't let them con you into Diet Cokes.
1479
01:09:25,209 --> 01:09:28,587
- I wanted to apologize for the other day.
- No need.
1480
01:09:28,670 --> 01:09:29,881
I've been in this racket for years
1481
01:09:29,964 --> 01:09:32,591
and sometimes I'm a little too
"let's get down to it."
1482
01:09:32,674 --> 01:09:34,969
- Think I may have scared you a bit.
- Not at all.
1483
01:09:35,052 --> 01:09:38,514
Look, you just need to know I'm good.
1484
01:09:38,597 --> 01:09:40,641
I'm the Pablo Escobar
of the fertility world.
1485
01:09:40,724 --> 01:09:43,185
I move the best product,
and I would like to help.
1486
01:09:43,269 --> 01:09:45,062
- I appreciate that, but...
- I get it.
1487
01:09:45,146 --> 01:09:47,439
You're a small-town boy.
You get your milk from a cow.
1488
01:09:47,523 --> 01:09:49,775
Actually, everybody gets their milk
from a cow.
1489
01:09:49,859 --> 01:09:52,319
So I thought I'd make it
a little more homey for you.
1490
01:09:52,403 --> 01:09:53,946
Girls, I'd like to you meet Luke Danes.
1491
01:09:54,030 --> 01:09:56,157
Jill and Jane are two of my top breeders.
1492
01:09:56,240 --> 01:09:57,366
Excuse me?
1493
01:09:57,449 --> 01:09:59,535
I thought you could all sit and talk.
1494
01:09:59,618 --> 01:10:02,204
Ask them questions.
Challenge Jill to an arm wrestle.
1495
01:10:02,288 --> 01:10:04,415
I think you'll be pleasantly surprised.
1496
01:10:09,795 --> 01:10:11,005
Dragonfly Inn.
1497
01:10:11,088 --> 01:10:12,548
Michel, put Lorelai on the phone.
1498
01:10:12,631 --> 01:10:14,675
- Who is calling?
- Michel!
1499
01:10:14,758 --> 01:10:17,469
Oh, Luke.
How nice to hear your siren call.
1500
01:10:17,553 --> 01:10:21,765
Find Lorelai and tell her that there are
two arm-wrestling breeders here
1501
01:10:21,848 --> 01:10:24,060
- and I need her help!
- What?
1502
01:10:26,103 --> 01:10:27,313
Paris?
1503
01:10:27,396 --> 01:10:29,523
- Rory, hi!
- What are you doing here?
1504
01:10:29,606 --> 01:10:30,942
- Oh, I'm working.
- Here?
1505
01:10:31,025 --> 01:10:32,526
Wherever there's
an old or defective uterus.
1506
01:10:32,609 --> 01:10:34,946
- I did not hang up, Michel!
- You eating?
1507
01:10:35,029 --> 01:10:37,573
No, I'm just grabbing coffee.
So jet-lagged.
1508
01:10:37,656 --> 01:10:40,159
I'm heading to your place.
Oh, can I crash at your place?
1509
01:10:40,242 --> 01:10:42,495
- Absolutely, you have the key.
- Find her!
1510
01:10:42,579 --> 01:10:45,040
I have to run an errand first.
You wanna come with?
1511
01:10:45,123 --> 01:10:48,960
Sure. Ladies, I'll be back in a few.
Close the deal.
1512
01:10:50,003 --> 01:10:52,755
Excuse me?
I don't think the Wi-Fi is working.
1513
01:10:52,839 --> 01:10:55,383
Capital "B" on "butter."
Yeah, I'm still here, Michel.
1514
01:10:55,467 --> 01:10:57,510
- Luke!
- Not now, Taylor.
1515
01:10:57,594 --> 01:11:00,138
Well, then when?
I have called, I've left messages,
1516
01:11:00,222 --> 01:11:02,432
I even slipped notes
under your door at night.
1517
01:11:02,515 --> 01:11:03,976
Which I turned over to the FBI.
1518
01:11:04,059 --> 01:11:07,770
I know for a fact
that you have had septic tank issues.
1519
01:11:07,854 --> 01:11:10,648
Taylor, do you see
people in here trying to eat?
1520
01:11:10,732 --> 01:11:12,943
I do. And you know
what happens after they eat?
1521
01:11:13,026 --> 01:11:15,070
- Oh, jeez...
- It's still not working.
1522
01:11:15,153 --> 01:11:18,698
Luke, I love this town.
Do you love this town?
1523
01:11:18,781 --> 01:11:19,824
- No.
- Excuse me.
1524
01:11:19,907 --> 01:11:21,909
Could the capital "B" be on "bob,"
not "butter"?
1525
01:11:21,994 --> 01:11:25,247
I think this town
is destined for greatness.
1526
01:11:25,330 --> 01:11:26,957
All the pieces are there.
1527
01:11:27,040 --> 01:11:29,542
It's just a matter
of finding that special something
1528
01:11:29,626 --> 01:11:31,669
- to put it over the top.
- Like a sewer system.
1529
01:11:31,753 --> 01:11:34,297
Yes, because
when you have a sewer system,
1530
01:11:34,381 --> 01:11:37,259
then you're part of something
bigger than yourself.
1531
01:11:37,342 --> 01:11:40,678
- Like the universe, only more hygienic.
- Taylor...
1532
01:11:40,762 --> 01:11:42,805
I'm sorry.
The password is still not working.
1533
01:11:42,889 --> 01:11:46,601
Of course the password's not working!
It's fake!
1534
01:11:46,684 --> 01:11:48,895
He has been giving out fake passwords
1535
01:11:48,979 --> 01:11:51,564
ever since he got Wi-Fi
in this damn place!
1536
01:11:51,648 --> 01:11:53,775
How stupid are you people anyway?
1537
01:11:53,858 --> 01:11:55,652
He doesn't want
to give out his password
1538
01:11:55,735 --> 01:11:58,488
because he doesn't want you here
checking your Facebook,
1539
01:11:58,571 --> 01:12:01,950
or answering your e-mails,
or YouTubing Zoella,
1540
01:12:02,034 --> 01:12:03,910
or whatever the hell it is you're doing.
1541
01:12:03,994 --> 01:12:08,540
This isn't your office. It's a diner!
Go home!
1542
01:12:08,623 --> 01:12:11,376
Pay for Wi-Fi! I do.
1543
01:12:11,459 --> 01:12:13,712
I... can't...
1544
01:12:13,796 --> 01:12:16,257
You know what? Never mind.
1545
01:12:16,340 --> 01:12:20,302
I was wrong. You don't deserve
perpetually unclogged toilets.
1546
01:12:28,811 --> 01:12:30,229
Taylor!
1547
01:12:33,774 --> 01:12:34,858
Really?
1548
01:12:36,652 --> 01:12:38,071
Now that I've gotten...
1549
01:12:41,115 --> 01:12:42,825
Hell of a week.
1550
01:12:42,908 --> 01:12:45,661
♪ Oh, friends ♪
1551
01:12:45,744 --> 01:12:49,248
♪ Waving from a passenger train ♪
1552
01:12:50,166 --> 01:12:52,585
♪ Oh, boy ♪
1553
01:12:52,668 --> 01:12:56,880
♪ Familiar to me in impossible ways ♪
1554
01:12:56,964 --> 01:12:59,717
♪ A new day ♪
1555
01:12:59,800 --> 01:13:04,930
♪ A picture in my hands
Of who I used to be ♪
1556
01:13:05,013 --> 01:13:06,349
- Hey!
- Crap!
1557
01:13:06,432 --> 01:13:07,641
Come back here!
1558
01:13:07,725 --> 01:13:09,352
Stop it!
What is wrong with you?
1559
01:13:09,435 --> 01:13:12,105
I told you!
My town, my corner!
1560
01:13:12,188 --> 01:13:13,564
But I'm your sister!
1561
01:13:13,647 --> 01:13:15,441
- No proof of that.
- Ask Mom!
1562
01:13:15,524 --> 01:13:18,026
Mom lies!
You better run, little sister!
1563
01:13:18,111 --> 01:13:21,447
It was over the minute
he wanted to do something creative.
1564
01:13:21,530 --> 01:13:24,075
Wow, you and Doyle split.
1565
01:13:24,158 --> 01:13:27,120
He's a screenwriter now.
Have you been to the movies lately?
1566
01:13:27,203 --> 01:13:29,580
- I know.
- Suddenly he's in jeans
1567
01:13:29,663 --> 01:13:33,667
and wearing faded $200 rock T-shirts
with bands on them he's never seen.
1568
01:13:33,751 --> 01:13:36,670
He's flying out to "the coast,"
as if this is not a coast.
1569
01:13:36,754 --> 01:13:39,215
He drinks vodka
because it has less carbs.
1570
01:13:39,298 --> 01:13:43,719
Then he started selling things
and I realized, "This is going to stick."
1571
01:13:43,802 --> 01:13:45,304
I am so sorry.
1572
01:13:45,388 --> 01:13:47,641
It's fine.
I'll kill him in court.
1573
01:13:47,724 --> 01:13:48,767
Sure.
1574
01:13:48,850 --> 01:13:51,436
I'll be using that Def Leppard T-shirt
to clean my windows.
1575
01:13:51,520 --> 01:13:53,980
I've been waiting a half hour!
It's freezing!
1576
01:13:54,063 --> 01:13:57,317
You shouldn't have
four-starred me last time.
1577
01:13:57,401 --> 01:13:59,736
Don't you maybe wanna
try to work it out nicely?
1578
01:13:59,819 --> 01:14:03,365
You guys have kids and you were
a good team at one point.
1579
01:14:03,448 --> 01:14:06,118
That was before Brett Ratner
gave him the keys to his pool house.
1580
01:14:06,201 --> 01:14:10,372
Okay, ladies.
You have arrived.
1581
01:14:10,455 --> 01:14:13,917
- Thanks, Kirk.
- You're welcome. Come again.
1582
01:14:14,000 --> 01:14:17,212
- And does Lane have an extension cord?
- I'll see.
1583
01:14:18,130 --> 01:14:19,673
I know you guys were friends,
1584
01:14:19,756 --> 01:14:22,259
but if push came to shove,
and we had to make T-shirts...
1585
01:14:22,342 --> 01:14:24,303
- Team Paris all the way.
- Thanks.
1586
01:14:24,386 --> 01:14:26,930
Can you say he felt you up at a party
for the deposition?
1587
01:14:27,013 --> 01:14:27,847
No.
1588
01:14:27,931 --> 01:14:30,850
You're all I've got.
Our nanny looks like Benicio Del Toro.
1589
01:14:30,934 --> 01:14:31,935
Oh, you're here.
1590
01:14:32,018 --> 01:14:34,438
Remember to call my mom
to rate me!
1591
01:14:38,983 --> 01:14:40,109
Lane, you remember Paris.
1592
01:14:40,194 --> 01:14:41,653
- I do. Hi.
- Hi.
1593
01:14:41,736 --> 01:14:44,739
- Um, do you still need your boxes?
- Yes, definitely.
1594
01:14:45,657 --> 01:14:47,367
Oh, Kirk, come on!
1595
01:14:48,327 --> 01:14:50,787
- I had Zach pull them out for you.
- You're welcome.
1596
01:14:50,870 --> 01:14:53,122
- Thanks, Zach.
- Don't look at me. I'm not me.
1597
01:14:53,207 --> 01:14:55,292
- What are you trying to find?
- My lucky outfit.
1598
01:14:55,375 --> 01:14:58,170
- Is it, like, a cheerleader uniform?
- Yes, exactly like that.
1599
01:14:58,253 --> 01:14:59,504
- Is this your house?
- Yep.
1600
01:14:59,588 --> 01:15:01,465
- Who gets it when you split?
- What?
1601
01:15:01,548 --> 01:15:03,008
- Is he him yet?
- No!
1602
01:15:03,091 --> 01:15:04,718
Rory, are you staying in the spare room?
1603
01:15:04,801 --> 01:15:06,886
- No, it's all yours, Brian.
- Did you get beer?
1604
01:15:06,970 --> 01:15:08,222
There should be some in there.
1605
01:15:08,305 --> 01:15:10,640
- Uh, can I help?
- Um, yeah. Look through this box.
1606
01:15:10,724 --> 01:15:12,559
I'm looking for a red dress, full skirt.
1607
01:15:12,642 --> 01:15:16,271
Okay, red dress, full skirt.
Oh, this is nice. Wear this.
1608
01:15:16,355 --> 01:15:17,814
No, it has to be my lucky outfit.
1609
01:15:17,897 --> 01:15:20,985
My Condé Nast meeting is in two days
and I have to find that outfit.
1610
01:15:21,068 --> 01:15:23,237
- Is he him yet?
- No, he's not!
1611
01:15:23,321 --> 01:15:25,573
I didn't ask for this promotion, okay?
Back off.
1612
01:15:25,656 --> 01:15:28,201
There's nothing wrong with
bringing home the bacon.
1613
01:15:28,284 --> 01:15:29,827
Well, it's not in here.
1614
01:15:29,910 --> 01:15:32,079
Okay. I'm me.
1615
01:15:32,162 --> 01:15:34,707
Steve! Kwan! Come in here!
1616
01:15:34,790 --> 01:15:36,834
Help your Aunt Rory find her outfit.
1617
01:15:36,917 --> 01:15:38,419
- Who did your work?
- What?
1618
01:15:38,503 --> 01:15:40,421
- Them. Friedman?
- I...
1619
01:15:40,505 --> 01:15:42,923
- Rasouli? Mendelssohn?
- I just had them.
1620
01:15:43,007 --> 01:15:44,133
Fine. Don't tell me.
1621
01:15:46,719 --> 01:15:47,637
Hey.
1622
01:15:47,720 --> 01:15:49,764
To answer your 43,000
frantic voicemails,
1623
01:15:49,847 --> 01:15:51,724
you do not have anything
at the dry cleaners.
1624
01:15:51,807 --> 01:15:54,685
- Rats.
- Seriously, it was Kopelson, right?
1625
01:15:54,769 --> 01:15:57,438
It wasn't natural.
Your husband's junk isn't symmetrical.
1626
01:15:57,521 --> 01:15:58,898
Wait, what?
1627
01:15:59,774 --> 01:16:02,277
It's not here.
Maybe it's at Grandma's.
1628
01:16:02,360 --> 01:16:04,069
- How was London?
- Great.
1629
01:16:04,153 --> 01:16:06,196
- Where'd you stay?
- With Didi. Same as always.
1630
01:16:06,281 --> 01:16:10,326
I love that you have a friend named Didi.
Makes you sound so Fridays on ABC.
1631
01:16:10,410 --> 01:16:11,827
Have you spoken to Grandma lately?
1632
01:16:11,911 --> 01:16:16,165
- Why?
- It's been quiet regarding the blowup.
1633
01:16:16,249 --> 01:16:17,875
- I've been busy.
- You should call her.
1634
01:16:17,958 --> 01:16:20,210
- De-ice this situation.
- I will.
1635
01:16:20,295 --> 01:16:22,129
- When?
- When it feels right.
1636
01:16:22,212 --> 01:16:24,757
- You are both being stubborn.
- Well, she started it.
1637
01:16:24,840 --> 01:16:27,218
Aren't we supposed to cut her
all sorts of slack right now?
1638
01:16:27,302 --> 01:16:28,553
I mean, she lost her husband.
1639
01:16:28,636 --> 01:16:31,055
Did you ever imagine
there'd be a Grandma without a Grandpa?
1640
01:16:32,265 --> 01:16:34,392
- No.
- Check on her.
1641
01:16:34,475 --> 01:16:35,893
Fine. I'll check on her.
1642
01:16:35,976 --> 01:16:38,313
Good. Maybe while you're there,
you can find my outfit.
1643
01:16:38,396 --> 01:16:41,231
Wow, the student surpasses the master.
1644
01:16:42,733 --> 01:16:45,820
- Great.
- What?
1645
01:16:45,903 --> 01:16:47,863
My Condé Nast meeting got pushed again.
1646
01:16:47,947 --> 01:16:51,618
Aw, sorry, hon.
So you don't need that outfit after all?
1647
01:16:51,702 --> 01:16:53,579
You're going.
1648
01:16:55,205 --> 01:16:56,707
- Oh, man.
- What now?
1649
01:16:56,790 --> 01:16:58,124
Poor Paul.
1650
01:16:58,208 --> 01:17:01,002
- Hey, you have got to...
- I know, I know.
1651
01:17:05,632 --> 01:17:07,718
- All right, let's do this.
- Yes!
1652
01:17:07,801 --> 01:17:09,803
So, are they serious?
1653
01:17:09,886 --> 01:17:11,012
One, two!
1654
01:17:21,732 --> 01:17:26,987
♪ Pretty soon now
You know I'm gonna make a comeback ♪
1655
01:17:27,070 --> 01:17:29,615
♪ And like the birds and the bees
In the trees ♪
1656
01:17:29,698 --> 01:17:31,867
♪ It's a sure-fire smash ♪
1657
01:17:33,493 --> 01:17:37,205
♪ I'll speak
To the masses through the media ♪
1658
01:17:38,457 --> 01:17:42,878
♪ But if you got anything to say to me
You better say it with cash ♪
1659
01:17:44,004 --> 01:17:46,965
♪ 'Cause I've got the trash
And you got the cash ♪
1660
01:17:47,048 --> 01:17:49,551
♪ Baby, we should get along fine ♪
1661
01:17:49,635 --> 01:17:52,513
♪ So give me all your money
You know I think I'm funny ♪
1662
01:17:52,596 --> 01:17:55,724
♪ Can't you see me smiling?
Can't you see me laugh, I'm the man ♪
1663
01:17:55,807 --> 01:17:57,726
♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪
1664
01:17:57,809 --> 01:17:58,810
♪ I'm the man ♪
1665
01:17:58,894 --> 01:18:00,562
- ♪ That gave you the hula hoop ♪
- ♪ I'm the man ♪
1666
01:18:00,646 --> 01:18:01,813
♪ I'm the man ♪
1667
01:18:01,897 --> 01:18:03,189
♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪
1668
01:18:03,273 --> 01:18:05,942
♪ I'm the man that gave you the yo-yo ♪
1669
01:18:07,403 --> 01:18:10,238
- ♪ I'm the man ♪
- ♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪
1670
01:18:10,321 --> 01:18:13,033
- ♪ I'm the man ♪
- ♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪
1671
01:18:13,116 --> 01:18:15,952
- ♪ I'm the man, yeah ♪
- ♪ I'm the man, I'm the man, I'm the man ♪
1672
01:18:23,168 --> 01:18:25,797
- Mom?
- Hola, hello.
1673
01:18:36,891 --> 01:18:38,059
Mom!
1674
01:18:42,814 --> 01:18:44,732
Take that box
and put it downstairs.
1675
01:18:44,816 --> 01:18:46,734
Come back up here
and get these presents.
1676
01:18:46,818 --> 01:18:50,154
- Mom, are you here?
- Lorelai? I didn't know you were coming.
1677
01:18:50,237 --> 01:18:52,031
Holy shit!
1678
01:18:52,114 --> 01:18:55,117
Berta, these boxes need to go outside.
1679
01:18:55,201 --> 01:18:57,203
- What? What? What?
- They go outside.
1680
01:18:57,286 --> 01:18:59,539
Take the boxes. Oh, good.
1681
01:18:59,622 --> 01:19:01,248
- Did you call?
- Did I?
1682
01:19:01,332 --> 01:19:03,125
Because today is a very bad day.
1683
01:19:03,209 --> 01:19:05,336
What is going on?
Who are all these people?
1684
01:19:05,420 --> 01:19:08,756
- Well, that's Berta.
- I know Berta.
1685
01:19:08,840 --> 01:19:09,882
That's Berta's husband.
1686
01:19:09,966 --> 01:19:12,469
No, that's Berta's husband,
that's his brother,
1687
01:19:12,552 --> 01:19:15,513
- and I think those are someone's parents.
- And the kids?
1688
01:19:15,597 --> 01:19:18,390
I thought they were all hers,
but now I'm not sure.
1689
01:19:18,475 --> 01:19:19,559
No, this goes.
1690
01:19:19,642 --> 01:19:23,270
Mom... what...
Can we get a minute?
1691
01:19:23,354 --> 01:19:27,484
Fine.
Uh, could you all give us a minute alone?
1692
01:19:27,567 --> 01:19:29,276
Mom, "alone" looks a lot like gas.
1693
01:19:29,360 --> 01:19:31,571
I don't know
how else to communicate with them.
1694
01:19:31,654 --> 01:19:34,532
Leonard Marlin's daughter works at the UN.
I had her come over.
1695
01:19:34,616 --> 01:19:36,534
She doesn't know
what language they speak, either.
1696
01:19:36,618 --> 01:19:38,495
Mom, what is going on here?
1697
01:19:38,578 --> 01:19:40,788
- You mean with the house?
- Start with the house.
1698
01:19:40,872 --> 01:19:42,874
I'm decluttering my life.
1699
01:19:42,957 --> 01:19:44,501
- You know Marie Kondo?
- No.
1700
01:19:44,584 --> 01:19:45,835
- You don't?
- No.
1701
01:19:45,918 --> 01:19:47,587
- She's Japanese.
- Okay.
1702
01:19:47,670 --> 01:19:49,171
- You still don't know her?
- She's Japanese?
1703
01:19:49,255 --> 01:19:50,297
- Yes.
- No.
1704
01:19:50,381 --> 01:19:53,801
She wrote a best-selling book
on decluttering. So, I'm decluttering.
1705
01:19:53,885 --> 01:19:55,762
I was starting to feel claustrophobic.
1706
01:19:55,845 --> 01:19:59,224
I'd wake up in the night feeling like
the house is closing in on me.
1707
01:19:59,307 --> 01:20:01,769
- Like I couldn't breathe, you know?
- Oh, yes, I know.
1708
01:20:01,852 --> 01:20:04,480
One of the ladies in my garden club
bought this book,
1709
01:20:04,563 --> 01:20:06,732
The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up.
1710
01:20:06,815 --> 01:20:09,777
She said it made everything better.
Are you paying attention?
1711
01:20:09,860 --> 01:20:12,530
- The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up?
- You know it?
1712
01:20:12,613 --> 01:20:14,532
Written by that Japanese woman,
Marie Kondo?
1713
01:20:14,615 --> 01:20:15,783
- Yes.
- No.
1714
01:20:15,866 --> 01:20:17,325
Well, people swear by her.
1715
01:20:17,409 --> 01:20:21,705
She tells you to take everything you own
and put it in piles on the ground.
1716
01:20:21,789 --> 01:20:24,833
Then you pick up each possession
and you hold it.
1717
01:20:24,917 --> 01:20:28,712
If it brings you joy, you keep it,
and if it doesn't, out it goes.
1718
01:20:30,297 --> 01:20:31,799
No joy.
1719
01:20:31,882 --> 01:20:34,593
- He's taking the dining room chairs.
- They don't bring me joy.
1720
01:20:34,677 --> 01:20:38,847
This box needs to be taped.
1721
01:20:38,931 --> 01:20:41,099
Oh, by the way,
if I get a terminal disease,
1722
01:20:41,183 --> 01:20:44,269
I want to move to Washington State to die.
They let you do that there.
1723
01:20:44,352 --> 01:20:45,729
Die? They let you die?
1724
01:20:45,813 --> 01:20:48,065
With dignity and in your own time frame.
1725
01:20:48,148 --> 01:20:51,484
I'll die there and then you need
to ship me back here for burial,
1726
01:20:51,569 --> 01:20:54,196
which costs a fortune, I found out.
1727
01:20:54,279 --> 01:20:58,491
So, in the safe there's an envelope
labeled "body-shipping cash."
1728
01:20:58,576 --> 01:21:00,243
I could also go to Vermont,
1729
01:21:00,327 --> 01:21:03,038
but we vacationed there once
and it was terrible.
1730
01:21:03,121 --> 01:21:04,247
Squirrels.
1731
01:21:04,331 --> 01:21:06,499
So, Washington it is.
1732
01:21:07,918 --> 01:21:09,044
It's the middle of the day.
1733
01:21:09,127 --> 01:21:11,171
Taste it.
See if it brings you joy.
1734
01:21:12,923 --> 01:21:16,259
Oh, God.
I haven't sat down in six hours.
1735
01:21:16,343 --> 01:21:17,553
Cheers.
1736
01:21:21,765 --> 01:21:24,226
So come on, Mom, talk to me.
1737
01:21:25,227 --> 01:21:27,229
Why are you wearing jeans?
1738
01:21:27,312 --> 01:21:29,773
- What?
- Because it's terrifying.
1739
01:21:29,857 --> 01:21:31,860
I started this process with my closet.
1740
01:21:31,943 --> 01:21:34,654
Nothing I owned brought me joy,
so I ran out of clothes.
1741
01:21:34,738 --> 01:21:35,989
I don't know where I got these.
1742
01:21:36,072 --> 01:21:38,032
- They're mine.
- They are?
1743
01:21:38,116 --> 01:21:40,493
Did you not notice
the Billy Squier patch on the butt?
1744
01:21:40,577 --> 01:21:43,788
- You can have them back.
- I have not been pining for them.
1745
01:21:43,872 --> 01:21:46,124
I have to get back to work.
Kitchen's next.
1746
01:21:46,207 --> 01:21:48,042
Stop.
You're not gonna have anything left.
1747
01:21:48,126 --> 01:21:50,712
That's okay.
What I do have will bring me joy.
1748
01:21:50,795 --> 01:21:52,005
Mom...
1749
01:21:53,464 --> 01:21:55,508
nothing is gonna bring you joy right now.
1750
01:21:56,092 --> 01:21:58,511
Nothing. Your husband just died.
1751
01:21:58,595 --> 01:22:02,932
When some time passes and you realize
you've given away all of your stuff,
1752
01:22:03,016 --> 01:22:05,018
you're going to track down
and kill Marie Kondo.
1753
01:22:05,101 --> 01:22:07,395
Then you're gonna go to jail
wearing those jeans,
1754
01:22:07,478 --> 01:22:10,815
and the Winchester Mystery Family
will be living here in your ball gowns.
1755
01:22:12,566 --> 01:22:14,736
- I don't know how to do this.
- Do what?
1756
01:22:14,819 --> 01:22:17,071
- Live my life.
- Oh, Mom...
1757
01:22:17,155 --> 01:22:18,990
I don't know
what to do or where to go.
1758
01:22:19,073 --> 01:22:21,159
I've forgotten
which side of the bed to sleep on.
1759
01:22:21,242 --> 01:22:23,703
I was married for 50 years.
1760
01:22:23,787 --> 01:22:25,204
Half of me is gone.
1761
01:22:26,372 --> 01:22:27,874
Ah, you don't understand.
1762
01:22:27,957 --> 01:22:30,459
- I understand.
- You can't understand. You're not married.
1763
01:22:30,543 --> 01:22:33,379
- Luke and I are as good as married.
- No, you're roommates.
1764
01:22:33,462 --> 01:22:35,924
Someday you'll go off
and find another roommate.
1765
01:22:36,007 --> 01:22:38,926
I had a real partner
for 50 years and now I'm alone.
1766
01:22:42,972 --> 01:22:44,891
Are you still going to that grief group?
1767
01:22:44,974 --> 01:22:47,185
- Oh, God, no.
- Why not?
1768
01:22:47,268 --> 01:22:49,437
All those women
with red noses and Skechers.
1769
01:22:49,520 --> 01:22:52,774
- All they do is sit around and complain.
- What an annoying grief group.
1770
01:22:52,857 --> 01:22:55,735
When it's my turn,
there's no time left to talk about me.
1771
01:22:55,819 --> 01:22:58,154
- Right.
- I have problems. I can't help them.
1772
01:22:58,237 --> 01:23:01,282
Well, what about seeing someone
one-on-one?
1773
01:23:01,866 --> 01:23:03,911
- What do you mean?
- You know, just you and them.
1774
01:23:03,994 --> 01:23:05,705
- Who?
- Just a person.
1775
01:23:05,788 --> 01:23:07,665
- What kind of person?
- A normal person
1776
01:23:07,748 --> 01:23:10,209
with an office and a prescription pad.
1777
01:23:10,292 --> 01:23:12,419
- You mean a psychiatrist.
- That could work, too.
1778
01:23:12,502 --> 01:23:15,464
- You want me to go to therapy.
- Till you get back on your feet.
1779
01:23:15,547 --> 01:23:18,258
I knew it. You have been trying
to get me to a therapist
1780
01:23:18,342 --> 01:23:20,177
ever since you saw that Tony Soprano show.
1781
01:23:20,260 --> 01:23:22,304
I have not.
He did make it look cool though, right?
1782
01:23:22,387 --> 01:23:24,431
- No.
- What's the big deal?
1783
01:23:24,514 --> 01:23:25,766
I'm not crazy.
1784
01:23:25,850 --> 01:23:28,602
No. You're in pain.
This is uncharted territory.
1785
01:23:28,686 --> 01:23:30,896
If it might help, what's the harm?
1786
01:23:32,398 --> 01:23:35,067
- I'll think about it.
- Okay. But really consider it.
1787
01:23:36,068 --> 01:23:38,195
- I will.
- And if you do it, commit.
1788
01:23:38,278 --> 01:23:39,529
You know, really go for it.
1789
01:23:39,613 --> 01:23:41,240
- I will.
- Jump in with both feet.
1790
01:23:41,323 --> 01:23:44,284
Five, six days a week.
Really Woody Allen the hell out of it.
1791
01:23:44,368 --> 01:23:46,578
- I got it.
- 'Cause he's totally normal now.
1792
01:23:46,661 --> 01:23:48,163
I promise, Lorelai.
1793
01:23:51,458 --> 01:23:53,419
I'd better try to get my bedroom set back.
1794
01:23:54,128 --> 01:23:57,047
Okay, but first,
don't you think you want to...
1795
01:23:57,131 --> 01:23:58,132
What?
1796
01:23:59,508 --> 01:24:01,218
Oh, God, yes.
1797
01:24:18,027 --> 01:24:19,569
♪ Hey, sweet Annie ♪
1798
01:24:19,653 --> 01:24:21,613
♪ Don't take it so bad ♪
1799
01:24:22,990 --> 01:24:26,118
♪ You know the summer's coming soon ♪
1800
01:24:27,494 --> 01:24:32,457
♪ Though the interstate is choking
Under salty, dirty sand ♪
1801
01:24:32,541 --> 01:24:36,254
♪ And it seems the sun
Is hiding from the moon ♪
1802
01:24:37,672 --> 01:24:42,718
♪ The snow is coming down
On our New England town ♪
1803
01:24:42,803 --> 01:24:46,514
♪ And it's been falling all day long... ♪
1804
01:24:47,682 --> 01:24:48,934
Oy! Danesy-boy!
1805
01:24:49,017 --> 01:24:52,687
So dressing up of the dog
extends to outside of the house now, huh?
1806
01:24:52,771 --> 01:24:55,023
He wanted to go public.
It's a whole new world.
1807
01:24:55,106 --> 01:24:57,150
- Uh-huh.
- I can only support with love,
1808
01:24:57,233 --> 01:24:58,234
not judgment.
1809
01:24:58,318 --> 01:24:59,945
- So that's me.
- Yeah.
1810
01:25:00,028 --> 01:25:02,280
- And that's...
- It's his order pad and pencil.
1811
01:25:02,363 --> 01:25:04,282
Sure, sure.
And the baseball cap?
1812
01:25:04,365 --> 01:25:05,992
His head's too big.
None of yours fit.
1813
01:25:06,076 --> 01:25:08,494
- Oh, okay. Let's get a drink.
- Okay.
1814
01:25:08,578 --> 01:25:09,704
My man!
1815
01:25:11,456 --> 01:25:13,083
- Do I want to know what that's...
- No.
1816
01:25:13,166 --> 01:25:14,417
You don't.
1817
01:25:14,500 --> 01:25:15,961
Okay. Oh.
1818
01:25:16,044 --> 01:25:18,504
- What?
- Uh, nothing.
1819
01:25:18,588 --> 01:25:20,799
- What's up?
- It's just Paris
1820
01:25:20,882 --> 01:25:23,259
sending me pictures of potential,
you know...
1821
01:25:23,343 --> 01:25:25,345
She's tall.
Want to start a basketball team?
1822
01:25:25,428 --> 01:25:27,430
Uh, didn't you say we're not doing that?
1823
01:25:27,513 --> 01:25:29,891
Oh, I e-mailed her
that we're tabling it.
1824
01:25:29,975 --> 01:25:31,309
- Tabling it?
- Back-burnering it?
1825
01:25:31,392 --> 01:25:32,560
Just tell her no.
1826
01:25:32,643 --> 01:25:33,728
- That's what tabling means.
- No.
1827
01:25:33,812 --> 01:25:36,731
That means you'll do it eventually.
Are we doing it eventually?
1828
01:25:36,815 --> 01:25:38,691
- No. You said no.
- And you said no.
1829
01:25:38,775 --> 01:25:39,818
We both said no.
1830
01:25:42,153 --> 01:25:43,154
So...
1831
01:25:46,532 --> 01:25:49,119
Don't need a surrogate.
1832
01:25:49,202 --> 01:25:51,287
Done. Let's get that drink.
1833
01:25:51,913 --> 01:25:52,831
Okay.
1834
01:25:53,706 --> 01:25:55,625
Two big gloggs.
1835
01:25:55,708 --> 01:25:58,128
Hey, Kirk.
Taking the day off of Ööö-bering?
1836
01:25:58,211 --> 01:26:00,922
- I don't know what you're talking about.
- You know, Ööö-ber.
1837
01:26:01,006 --> 01:26:02,673
- No.
- Kirk, Ööö...
1838
01:26:02,757 --> 01:26:04,009
Stop making that noise.
1839
01:26:04,092 --> 01:26:08,389
If anyone from the Uber corporation
or their handsome attorneys contacts you,
1840
01:26:08,472 --> 01:26:10,307
please tell them it was my brother
1841
01:26:10,391 --> 01:26:14,854
and not me, who recklessly violated
trademark laws and perpetrated fraud.
1842
01:26:14,937 --> 01:26:17,899
Dirk has always been a disappointment
to the family.
1843
01:26:17,982 --> 01:26:18,983
Your gloggs.
1844
01:26:19,066 --> 01:26:20,734
- Kirk...
- Next!
1845
01:26:20,817 --> 01:26:23,237
Okay. Your car is done.
1846
01:26:23,320 --> 01:26:26,949
I do not guarantee it will make it home,
or even out of the gas station.
1847
01:26:27,033 --> 01:26:28,367
I bet it will.
1848
01:26:28,450 --> 01:26:30,953
Come get it now. It's idling.
I'm afraid to turn it off.
1849
01:26:31,037 --> 01:26:32,746
Okay, we'll be right there.
Love you.
1850
01:26:32,829 --> 01:26:34,040
Buy a new car.
1851
01:26:34,123 --> 01:26:36,458
- Where's Paul Anka?
- He's chasing ice skaters.
1852
01:26:36,542 --> 01:26:38,752
Oh, boy. Hi, Mom.
1853
01:26:38,835 --> 01:26:41,130
- You answered. You never answer.
- I did.
1854
01:26:41,213 --> 01:26:43,132
- Sure I do.
- Are you drunk?
1855
01:26:43,215 --> 01:26:44,466
Mom, what can I help you with?
1856
01:26:44,550 --> 01:26:46,886
I just wanted you to know
that I took your advice.
1857
01:26:46,969 --> 01:26:49,221
- Are you drunk?
- I found a therapist.
1858
01:26:49,305 --> 01:26:52,058
- You're kidding.
- Linda in my garden club is bipolar,
1859
01:26:52,141 --> 01:26:54,518
so I asked if she had someone
she could recommend.
1860
01:26:54,601 --> 01:26:56,687
- Good thinking.
- She's a lovely woman.
1861
01:26:56,770 --> 01:26:58,314
- Linda?
- No. The therapist.
1862
01:26:58,397 --> 01:27:00,942
Linda's a nightmare.
She cries if the tea is cold.
1863
01:27:01,025 --> 01:27:04,904
But the therapist is wonderful.
Very tasteful office.
1864
01:27:04,987 --> 01:27:06,655
She burns a candle
that smells so delicious,
1865
01:27:06,738 --> 01:27:07,949
I bought one to have at home.
1866
01:27:08,032 --> 01:27:09,200
Sounds great.
1867
01:27:09,283 --> 01:27:11,035
- I could get one for you.
- Sure.
1868
01:27:11,118 --> 01:27:14,538
I go there once a week and we just talk.
Talk about anything.
1869
01:27:14,621 --> 01:27:17,708
- Or nothing if there's nothing on my mind.
- Sounds great, Mom.
1870
01:27:17,791 --> 01:27:19,876
She told me to get rid
of the Marie Kondo book.
1871
01:27:19,961 --> 01:27:22,129
I like her already.
Hey, I did something right.
1872
01:27:22,213 --> 01:27:23,339
Law of averages.
1873
01:27:23,422 --> 01:27:27,134
I bought a notebook so I can write down
things I want to discuss with her.
1874
01:27:27,218 --> 01:27:29,636
- That way I won't forget.
- Very sensible.
1875
01:27:29,720 --> 01:27:32,056
I told her it was your idea
that I come see her.
1876
01:27:32,139 --> 01:27:33,140
You did?
1877
01:27:33,223 --> 01:27:35,976
I did. Thank you, Lorelai.
1878
01:27:36,060 --> 01:27:39,230
Thank you for suggesting it.
I think it's exactly what I needed.
1879
01:27:39,313 --> 01:27:42,650
Wow, I'm so glad, Mom. Really.
1880
01:27:42,734 --> 01:27:45,695
- I'd love for you to meet her sometime.
- Sure.
1881
01:27:45,778 --> 01:27:47,489
Maybe next time I go, you could come by.
1882
01:27:47,572 --> 01:27:50,408
Oh, Mom, I would love
to meet your therapist.
1883
01:27:50,492 --> 01:27:54,537
Really? Great.
I go on Tuesday at 3:00.
1884
01:27:54,621 --> 01:27:55,956
Tuesday's probably fine.
1885
01:27:56,039 --> 01:27:58,208
Wonderful!
Oh, you're going to love her.
1886
01:27:58,291 --> 01:27:59,417
I'll text you the address?
1887
01:27:59,501 --> 01:28:00,668
Text away.
1888
01:28:00,752 --> 01:28:03,463
- See you then.
- See you then, Mom. Bye.
1889
01:28:04,922 --> 01:28:07,592
- What sort of attack are you having?
- Are you crazy?
1890
01:28:07,675 --> 01:28:09,636
- Why?
- You're going to therapy with your mother!
1891
01:28:09,719 --> 01:28:11,721
- No, I'm not.
- Yes, you are.
1892
01:28:11,805 --> 01:28:12,931
She wants me to meet her.
1893
01:28:13,015 --> 01:28:15,976
- What do you think that means?
- Luke, look.
1894
01:28:16,059 --> 01:28:19,354
My mother took my advice.
Do you understand what I'm saying?
1895
01:28:19,437 --> 01:28:21,356
The advice that I gave her,
she took it.
1896
01:28:21,439 --> 01:28:23,733
That's never happened before.
Ever.
1897
01:28:23,816 --> 01:28:27,237
She's feeling good about it
and just wanted me to meet her...
1898
01:28:27,320 --> 01:28:29,322
Oh, crap!
I'm going to therapy with my mother!
1899
01:28:35,245 --> 01:28:37,956
- Oh, boy.
- Come on.
1900
01:28:50,908 --> 01:28:55,908
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.MY-SUBS.com