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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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ANNOUNCER: FXX presents Archer 1999.
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♪ Twinkle, twinkle, little star ♪
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♪ How I wonder what you are ♪
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♪ Something, something, up so high ♪
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- # Kicking, screaming, burned alive... #
- Goddamn it, Cheryl,
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are you gonna shoot
this goddamn thing or what?
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Well, it's hard for me
to make a decision
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without knowing what this
"or what" option is. Duh.
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For God's sakes, Lana,
do you literally want to become lunch?
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The gas pedal
is the one on the right.
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I'm trying.
I can't get any power.
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Why are these
guns so freaking loud?
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My earballs are on fire!
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- Shoot him in the dick!
- Space snails don't have dicks.
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Technically, they have both male
and female reproductive organs,
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so they can inseminate
and be inseminated.
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Cyril's definitely been
to those kind of parties.
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- Space burn.
- Would you idiots
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mind focusing on the
problem at hand, please?
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Krieger, why can't I get
any power from the boosters?
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What the hell is going on
with the power supply?
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Goddamn it! Something must be
depleting power from the ship.
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Did someone leave the fan on
in the bathroom again?
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- Not me.
- And why not?
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What is with all the banging
and the shouting?
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Are we hosting a quinceañera?
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Oh, shiiit!
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Nooo!
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I left my purse in there!
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sync & correction by f1nc0
~ MY-SUBS.com ~
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- That was awesome.
- Awesome?
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We're stuck inside a space nautilus
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somewhere between his colon
and his cloaca.
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- What's a cloaca?
- It's an organ that's used
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for excretion and also intercourse.
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- Smart.
- Pam, shut up.
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You know, for the person
who got us into this mess,
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you certainly are yelling
at people a lot.
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- You got us into this mess.
- Hey, let's not point fingers.
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Especially yours, Lana.
Those things are like cricket bats.
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You're the one
who wouldn't listen to me
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and set our course for a galaxy
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to which we've never been
before, and, as we can now see,
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is a ship-eating cosmo crustacean.
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Well, you were the one
making the flight super boring,
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so I started punching colored
buttons on the navigation panel,
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building to a loud,
yelly, final last point!
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Can we please figure out
how the hell
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we're getting out of here?
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- Yeah!
- We are totally boned.
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Would everyone relax.
We'll just fire up the old plasma torch,
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cut an ulcer in this thing,
and zorp our way out of here.
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Okay.
Don't waste any more power.
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- It'll work.
- No, it will not.
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- Well, not with that attitude.
- That wasn't me, idiot.
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- I tried that, too, when I got here.
- Wha...
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Can't you go anywhere these days
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without being accosted by the homeless?
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Um, so I guess I'll
just wait out here, then,
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like some space-flunky.
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This is so stupid.
"Lead us into battle, Cheryl."
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"Rescue the ship from
certain doom, Carol."
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Who am I, Artemisia I of Caria?
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You know what I mean.
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Oh, God!
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- Is it... a human?
- Of sorts.
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Smells like a diaper's coffin in here.
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This is why you don't invite them in.
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- She's a vampire?
- Everyone shut up.
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Who are you
and what are you doing here?
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My name is Glenda Price, captain
of the starship Tristan of Coralia.
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I also commanded
the CoreStart mission.
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Wrote a book about it.
"Space Me, Space You."
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About all the good we did
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and the lives we saved
throughout the universe?
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The cover art is my
Intergalactic Peace Prize medal?
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- Oh, yeah. Yeah, I remember that.
- I love Space Me, Space You.
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- Oh, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah, yeah, space.
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Anyway, the Tristan was on
an intergalactic
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humanitarian mission
when we ran into the Zarglorp.
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- What's the Zarglorp?
- Seriously?
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- Come on!
- Even I know that was stupid.
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The creature that ate us, dummy.
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- Jesus, all right, sorry.
- We were delivering
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medical supplies to poor
children and burn victims
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when an asteroid storm
forced us off course
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into the Targluk Galaxy.
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- Is that how you all ended up there?
- Uh... uh, y-yup.
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Asteroid storm.
Size of eggs.
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Ah, yes. We got dragged in
and swallowed whole.
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The Tristan is still wedged
nearby in the digestive canal.
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- And your crew?
- Oh, we made do at first.
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We played softball,
taught ourselves piano.
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But then the rations ran out
and, one by one,
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they killed themselves.
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- Wow.
- Cheesy Petes.
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Captain, I am so sorry to hear that.
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Me too. We lived in
our own little utopia.
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They were my best friends.
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Best friends?
But they work for you.
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Anyhow, then, as they died,
we'd eat them.
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Smart.
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Unfortunately,
there's no way out of here.
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We'll slowly be digested over
the next hundred years or so.
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A hundred years?
That's, like, forever!
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- Nobody lives that long, idiot.
- You definitely won't
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if you don't keep your mouth shut.
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All right, calm down. We aren't
spending the rest of our lives
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in some space prawn's shit
factory. Krieger, figure out
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why there's no power
to the boosters and fix it.
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- Yep, yep, yep.
- Ray, fix anything damaged in the crash.
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Pam, Lana, and I will go back
to the Tristan
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and collect anything that might
help us get out of here.
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Cyril, I guess
just keep being useless.
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- Captain?
- What do you need?
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I want to help you all get to safety,
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like when I rescued
the Vantaurians
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from that ELE on Vantaur Five,
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then used all my money to get
them all universal health care.
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That's insurance that is accepted
throughout the universe.
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Wow, what a goddamn saint you are.
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Do you have any blast charges
on your ship?
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- Yes, but do not use them, because...
- Great. Okay, Pam, this is crucial.
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Once we're out there,
look for anything we can use
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to make me a drink.
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We're in the middle
of a space creature's stomach.
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There's always something
that can be a mixer, Lana.
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I made a drink once
out of Barbicide and hair gel.
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It's called a Moscow Mousse.
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Well, it seems like you all have
this situation under control.
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Under control?
We're currently food.
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Well, you know me.
Always "glass half full."
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♪ Ta-ta. ♪
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Okay, pro:
all my stuff is on board,
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including that kick-ass purse
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that has metal studs on the bottom
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so it doesn't touch
gross restaurant floors.
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Con.
I'm gonna have to keep doing
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stupid fighter pilot missions, and
they're so boring 'cause I'm so good.
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Pro: I'm here.
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Is that you, voice in my head?
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You sound so much older.
And drunker.
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Look at the screen,
you glue-eating pinhead.
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Oh! I've seen this show!
With the mean lady!
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- Um... Matlock!
- Listen to me.
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We have to fly down
into that monster this instant.
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For my purse?
I know, right?
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It matches literally everything.
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No, you clod.
To pick up Sterling,
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then get the hell out of here.
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Mm, no, thanks.
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What do you mean,
"No, thanks"?
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I'm probably just better off
leaving and starting a new life.
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Hey, you want to come?
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- Gals' trip!
- Absolutely not!
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Now listen to me. We are
flying back down there and...
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You're not my space supervisor!
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All right,
Cyril, while we're gone,
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00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,500
keep Captain Price company.
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She's been through a lot.
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Maybe you'll learn
a thing or two from her.
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Oh, from the woman
who got her ship eaten
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and her whole crew killed?
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That's still more than you've
ever accomplished, Cyril.
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Keep her company.
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Cyril, right?
Come over here.
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Sit down.
Let's have a chat, just you and I.
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Would you like to hear the story
of how I saved
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the Drang population after the
Great Flood of the Mupak Valley?
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You know what?
Yes, I would.
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Screw it, if we're dying in here,
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I'm gonna go ahead
and finish that cake.
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I mean, I don't even care.
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- Krieger?
- Still looking
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for the source of the power loss.
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Seems like it's been
getting sucked all night.
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Space phrasing.
All right, find it and fix it.
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Once this thing pukes us out,
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we're gonna need those boosters
to get out of this galaxy.
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Don't worry, my child.
Daddy's here.
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More... power.
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What was that bullshit
back there with Cyril?
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"Keep Captain Price company"?
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00:09:22,540 --> 00:09:24,776
Since when do you care
about other people's feelings?
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00:09:24,876 --> 00:09:27,078
Well, unlike you, Lana,
I have empathy.
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00:09:27,111 --> 00:09:30,714
- Oh, wait. Uh, sympathy?
- I think it's "symphony."
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I can put myself
in Price's shoes, okay?
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00:09:32,884 --> 00:09:36,588
I know I'm gonna be the last
survivor, resorting to cannibalism.
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Stuck here to die alone,
literally eating dicks.
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00:09:39,891 --> 00:09:42,893
- Oh, come on.
- Or, you know, whatever Pam has.
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00:09:42,894 --> 00:09:44,427
I hesitate
to call that thing a dick.
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00:09:44,428 --> 00:09:46,297
It's more like a garbage claw.
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00:09:46,397 --> 00:09:49,132
Oh, pfft. Give me a break.
You don't want to die alone?
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00:09:49,133 --> 00:09:51,135
You were always gonna die alone.
195
00:09:51,235 --> 00:09:54,638
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Archer, be honest.
196
00:09:54,639 --> 00:09:56,574
You're not close to anyone
because you don't care.
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00:09:56,608 --> 00:09:58,610
You don't even bother
to listen to people,
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00:09:58,643 --> 00:10:01,144
- especially me.
- That's not true, Lana.
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00:10:01,145 --> 00:10:02,845
I just listened
to that entire sentence,
200
00:10:02,914 --> 00:10:06,282
- and it was excruciating.
- Up top.
201
00:10:07,919 --> 00:10:10,454
Holy shitsnacks.
202
00:10:10,487 --> 00:10:12,323
These must be
the suicidal crew members
203
00:10:12,423 --> 00:10:13,924
Price was talking about.
204
00:10:13,925 --> 00:10:16,460
Uh, you ever hear about
someone committing suicide
205
00:10:16,493 --> 00:10:19,101
by bludgeoning themselves
in the back of the head?
206
00:10:19,136 --> 00:10:20,932
Hey, the blast charges!
207
00:10:20,965 --> 00:10:24,769
Weren't you listening when Price
said not to set those charges off?
208
00:10:24,802 --> 00:10:27,938
- I actually wasn't. What did she say?
- Not to.
209
00:10:27,939 --> 00:10:29,774
Don't make things worse
than they already are.
210
00:10:29,807 --> 00:10:32,276
Worse?
We're in a monster's colon.
211
00:10:32,309 --> 00:10:34,578
We'll be safe here
behind this big fleshy...
212
00:10:34,612 --> 00:10:38,315
- What is this, a tumor?
- Aw, poor guy.
213
00:10:45,923 --> 00:10:47,659
Okay, now get back to the ship.
214
00:10:47,692 --> 00:10:49,426
Hey, what's that?
215
00:10:49,460 --> 00:10:54,999
Ugh. Some sort of parasites that
live in this thing's digestive system.
216
00:10:55,032 --> 00:10:56,768
Yeah, I get those sometimes
217
00:10:56,801 --> 00:10:58,468
if I've been
nosing through the trash.
218
00:10:58,469 --> 00:11:01,088
Ugh. Remember me saying
219
00:11:01,089 --> 00:11:03,306
something about
not wanting things to get worse?
220
00:11:03,307 --> 00:11:06,043
I actually was listening then.
221
00:11:06,143 --> 00:11:08,612
Will you shut up
and help me think of a plan?
222
00:11:08,646 --> 00:11:10,346
She said, while both talking
223
00:11:10,347 --> 00:11:12,912
- and not coming up with a plan.
- Archer...
224
00:11:12,947 --> 00:11:14,518
Wait.
I just came up with a plan.
225
00:11:14,551 --> 00:11:16,052
It's kind of complex.
226
00:11:16,053 --> 00:11:17,320
Run!
227
00:11:21,993 --> 00:11:24,696
I sliced the Florglap
right in his face
228
00:11:24,729 --> 00:11:26,429
and I never looked back.
229
00:11:26,497 --> 00:11:30,534
And because of my heroism,
they made a holiday in my honor.
230
00:11:30,567 --> 00:11:33,070
I mean, not a bank holiday,
but still.
231
00:11:33,170 --> 00:11:35,506
Wow, what a rewarding life.
232
00:11:35,539 --> 00:11:38,909
- So, tell me about your life, Cyril.
- Oh, me?
233
00:11:38,910 --> 00:11:40,576
I've had a rough go of it.
You don't want to hear it.
234
00:11:40,577 --> 00:11:43,147
Son, nothing matters to me more.
235
00:11:43,180 --> 00:11:45,516
A captain cares about her crew
more than herself.
236
00:11:45,549 --> 00:11:47,217
That's the captain's code.
237
00:11:47,218 --> 00:11:50,755
Well, okay,
if it's the captain's code.
238
00:11:50,855 --> 00:11:53,825
Uh, I guess it all started
when I was about five...
239
00:11:53,858 --> 00:11:58,529
I never wanted to be a fighter pilot.
I wanted to work in fashion.
240
00:11:58,562 --> 00:12:00,196
Wouldn't that be a sight to see?
241
00:12:00,197 --> 00:12:02,366
Totally. You see these outfits
we're wearing, right?
242
00:12:02,399 --> 00:12:03,900
Who came up with this?
243
00:12:03,901 --> 00:12:06,103
Does anybody's ass look good
in a flight suit?
244
00:12:06,203 --> 00:12:07,738
- No!
- Well, you know,
245
00:12:07,739 --> 00:12:10,574
I have some friends
in the design world.
246
00:12:10,607 --> 00:12:14,378
Hey!
I just had a great idea.
247
00:12:14,411 --> 00:12:18,015
- You know what we should do?
- Yes! We should rob them!
248
00:12:18,049 --> 00:12:19,884
No! We should fly down
249
00:12:19,917 --> 00:12:22,186
into that monster
to get Sterling, then...
250
00:12:22,219 --> 00:12:24,956
I love it! You and me
can be space pirates!
251
00:12:25,056 --> 00:12:27,792
With my fighter pilot skills
and your "zerp-zerp" thing,
252
00:12:27,892 --> 00:12:30,194
we could run this galaxy!
253
00:12:30,227 --> 00:12:33,230
Ooh, let's plan
our pirate outfits!
254
00:12:33,264 --> 00:12:35,032
And it turns out
255
00:12:35,066 --> 00:12:37,134
everyone did know
it was my birthday
256
00:12:37,234 --> 00:12:39,971
and they skipped it
just to hurt my feelings.
257
00:12:40,071 --> 00:12:43,440
To this day, I've never got
to play spin the bottle!
258
00:12:43,474 --> 00:12:47,411
Wow.
Life, she is a bitch.
259
00:12:47,444 --> 00:12:48,945
But you know what people say?
260
00:12:48,946 --> 00:12:52,616
- When things seem darkest...
- What, Captain?
261
00:12:52,649 --> 00:12:55,076
Kill yourself.
262
00:12:57,454 --> 00:13:00,791
Oh, my dear boy, look at you.
263
00:13:00,792 --> 00:13:03,494
You're an exact replica of me.
264
00:13:03,594 --> 00:13:05,963
Though that hairline
could use a little work.
265
00:13:05,997 --> 00:13:09,100
M-more power!
266
00:13:09,133 --> 00:13:12,837
- Shh, okay, okay.
- More, more, more...
267
00:13:22,613 --> 00:13:24,147
Oh, no, I've killed him!
268
00:13:24,148 --> 00:13:28,652
Oh, God, no!
Son, I didn't mean to kill you.
269
00:13:28,685 --> 00:13:31,422
M-Murder!
270
00:13:31,455 --> 00:13:33,791
- Murderer!
- No, no, shh!
271
00:13:33,825 --> 00:13:35,359
- Murderer! Murderer!
- No, no, shut up, shut up.
272
00:13:35,360 --> 00:13:36,127
No, no, no, you're fine.
273
00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,762
- Murderer!
- You're fine. You're alive! Shh, shh, shh!
274
00:13:38,796 --> 00:13:43,667
- You are mur...
- No, no! I am not a murderer,
275
00:13:43,700 --> 00:13:46,037
you stupid head!
276
00:13:48,672 --> 00:13:51,808
- Figured out the power problem!
- Okay, now,
277
00:13:51,809 --> 00:13:56,347
the rabbit goes around the tree
and back into the hole.
278
00:13:56,380 --> 00:13:59,350
Is the dehydrated milk
up here somew...
279
00:13:59,383 --> 00:14:01,051
The hell are you doing?
280
00:14:01,052 --> 00:14:03,855
- Killing myself.
- Why, other than the obvious?
281
00:14:03,888 --> 00:14:06,690
Well, sometimes killing
ourselves is the most
282
00:14:06,691 --> 00:14:09,493
noble thing we can do
for our fellow survivors.
283
00:14:09,526 --> 00:14:11,495
Have you ever thought about it?
284
00:14:11,528 --> 00:14:13,364
Okay, nope,
get that thing off your neck.
285
00:14:13,397 --> 00:14:17,501
Uh-oh. You know what we have
on our hands here, Cyril?
286
00:14:17,534 --> 00:14:20,549
A dirty mutineer.
287
00:14:30,014 --> 00:14:32,549
"And finally, to my crewmates:
288
00:14:32,583 --> 00:14:34,385
I regret leaving this world
so early,
289
00:14:34,418 --> 00:14:37,889
but I shall see you
in the next." Good?
290
00:14:37,922 --> 00:14:41,425
Then maybe something like, um,
"All my love, Cyril.
291
00:14:41,525 --> 00:14:43,527
P.S.: Please eat me."
292
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:46,430
Hmm. Yeah.
293
00:14:46,530 --> 00:14:48,900
See?
He thinks it's good too.
294
00:14:48,933 --> 00:14:51,202
Now let's find you
a load-bearing pipe.
295
00:14:58,775 --> 00:15:02,546
Hello?
Can anyone hear me?
296
00:15:02,579 --> 00:15:03,947
Over.
297
00:15:03,948 --> 00:15:05,581
Ooh!
What about eye patches?
298
00:15:05,582 --> 00:15:08,252
I mean, we don't actually have
to have our eyes cut out
299
00:15:08,285 --> 00:15:10,254
to wear them...
unless you want to.
300
00:15:10,287 --> 00:15:11,754
Can anyone hear me?
301
00:15:11,755 --> 00:15:14,391
Arr, this is Space
Pirate Cheryl. Go ahead.
302
00:15:14,425 --> 00:15:16,260
There's a psycho loose
on the ship!
303
00:15:16,293 --> 00:15:18,695
She's brainwashing the crew
to kill themselves
304
00:15:18,729 --> 00:15:21,932
- so she can eat us!
- Sterling!
305
00:15:21,933 --> 00:15:24,368
Cheryl, listen to me.
We have to go in there!
306
00:15:24,401 --> 00:15:26,203
Duh, of course
we have to go in there.
307
00:15:26,237 --> 00:15:29,572
There's someone brainwashing
people into killing themselves!
308
00:15:29,573 --> 00:15:31,241
- Hurry up!
- Let's go!
309
00:15:31,242 --> 00:15:32,808
All right, me hearties, open up!
310
00:15:32,809 --> 00:15:34,611
Here be breakfast!
311
00:15:34,645 --> 00:15:38,950
Well, well, well.
Looks like we have
312
00:15:38,983 --> 00:15:41,785
a dirty traitor in our midst.
313
00:15:41,818 --> 00:15:44,438
I think you know
what to do, Cyril.
314
00:15:49,460 --> 00:15:51,795
What the hell is this?
315
00:15:51,828 --> 00:15:54,831
- Cyril's trying to kill me!
- Then I'm gonna kill myself.
316
00:15:54,932 --> 00:15:56,466
Then they want us to eat them.
317
00:15:56,467 --> 00:16:00,004
- Smart.
- Cyril, you idiot, Price is space-mad.
318
00:16:00,104 --> 00:16:02,173
She convinced her crew
to kill themselves
319
00:16:02,273 --> 00:16:05,276
- so she could eat them.
- Wh... Wow.
320
00:16:05,309 --> 00:16:07,578
I... never.
321
00:16:07,611 --> 00:16:11,015
I am Glenda Macmillan Price,
322
00:16:11,115 --> 00:16:13,250
intergalactic hero,
323
00:16:13,284 --> 00:16:16,526
and I'll be damned if
you'll accuse me...
324
00:16:19,190 --> 00:16:22,159
Hey, guys?
We're down to auxiliary power.
325
00:16:22,193 --> 00:16:24,161
No way to know
how that happened.
326
00:16:24,195 --> 00:16:26,830
But I do have an idea.
Captain Price, you said
327
00:16:26,863 --> 00:16:29,266
your ship was lodged
in the digestive tract,
328
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:31,969
- but it's not out of power, correct?
- That's right.
329
00:16:32,003 --> 00:16:34,787
Well, if the fuel rods are
undamaged, conceivably, we could
330
00:16:34,788 --> 00:16:37,572
hook up our generator to the
Tristan, throw the switch,
331
00:16:37,641 --> 00:16:39,676
and it could
generate enough heat
332
00:16:39,710 --> 00:16:42,113
possibly to induce vomiting.
333
00:16:42,146 --> 00:16:44,015
- What the hell is that sound?
- Those are the giant
334
00:16:44,048 --> 00:16:45,882
man-eating parasites
that have been chasing us
335
00:16:45,983 --> 00:16:49,455
since Archer set off the blast charges
Price told us not to!
336
00:16:49,490 --> 00:16:52,056
I think we all learned
a valuable lesson from that
337
00:16:52,156 --> 00:16:54,525
that we wouldn't
have known otherwise, and...
338
00:16:54,558 --> 00:16:55,992
...now we know.
339
00:16:57,661 --> 00:17:00,330
You idiot!
I've been successfully hiding
340
00:17:00,331 --> 00:17:02,682
- from those things for years!
- Hey, how about this?
341
00:17:02,683 --> 00:17:05,401
I say we try Krieger's idea.
Lana, get behind the wheel
342
00:17:05,402 --> 00:17:07,037
and get this sucker ready
to blow out of here.
343
00:17:07,038 --> 00:17:10,840
- Cyril, stop trying to kill yourself.
- Aw, Archer.
344
00:17:10,841 --> 00:17:13,844
Help Krieger ready the boosters,
then kill yourself if you want.
345
00:17:13,877 --> 00:17:15,712
Captain, you're coming with me
and Pam back to your ship
346
00:17:15,746 --> 00:17:17,481
to show us
where the fuel rods are.
347
00:17:17,514 --> 00:17:20,417
Then we hook them up
and get the hell out.
348
00:17:20,517 --> 00:17:25,056
Whoohoo!
Suicide cult, here I come!
349
00:17:27,724 --> 00:17:29,893
Damn it!
How does this beast stay alive
350
00:17:29,926 --> 00:17:33,063
- with all these parasites?
- Yeah. Plus I think we saw a tumor.
351
00:17:33,064 --> 00:17:34,831
He seems so young, too.
352
00:17:39,370 --> 00:17:42,902
Come on! I was about
to do my finishing move.
353
00:17:48,545 --> 00:17:50,247
Hey, wait a minute,
354
00:17:50,281 --> 00:17:52,749
I thought you said the crew
ran out of rations, Price.
355
00:17:52,783 --> 00:17:56,187
Fine! Yes!
I went space-crazy, okay?
356
00:17:56,220 --> 00:17:59,523
I killed some of the crew,
some killed each other at my order,
357
00:17:59,556 --> 00:18:02,759
and others killed themselves
to escape my bloodthirsty wrath.
358
00:18:02,793 --> 00:18:04,795
You're like a dog
with a bone about this.
359
00:18:04,895 --> 00:18:08,298
- God!
- All right, here, hook them up.
360
00:18:08,299 --> 00:18:10,734
There's just one problem.
361
00:18:10,767 --> 00:18:12,402
Archer, what the
hell is taking so long?
362
00:18:12,403 --> 00:18:13,936
We have to get moving.
363
00:18:13,937 --> 00:18:15,405
Uh, we've got a little problem.
364
00:18:15,406 --> 00:18:18,273
- What is it?
- When we transfer power between the ships,
365
00:18:18,275 --> 00:18:20,744
the Seamus will immediately
shoot out of this thing...
366
00:18:20,777 --> 00:18:23,329
Hopefully through its mouth
and not its duke chute.
367
00:18:23,364 --> 00:18:26,250
Shut up, Pam. But in doing so,
368
00:18:26,283 --> 00:18:29,253
whoever powers up the Tristan
will be left behind.
369
00:18:29,286 --> 00:18:31,755
Over?
370
00:18:31,788 --> 00:18:34,057
- Well...
- Wait, what's that?
371
00:18:34,091 --> 00:18:37,428
I-I can barely hear you.
372
00:18:39,663 --> 00:18:42,799
- Price should stay back?
- I didn't hear anything.
373
00:18:44,101 --> 00:18:45,836
Unanimous vote, you say?
374
00:18:45,936 --> 00:18:48,004
Well, looks like
the people have spoken.
375
00:18:48,105 --> 00:18:50,474
So give us, like, to the count
of 60 to get back,
376
00:18:50,507 --> 00:18:53,577
- then juice this baby up.
- The hell I'm staying back!
377
00:18:53,610 --> 00:18:55,679
Glenda Price
didn't eat directly out
378
00:18:55,779 --> 00:18:58,649
of a bridge crewman's
eye socket to die here today.
379
00:18:58,682 --> 00:19:01,118
Price, listen, you're
a self-obsessed megalomaniac
380
00:19:01,152 --> 00:19:03,987
who sacrificed her crew
for her own survival.
381
00:19:04,020 --> 00:19:05,720
You only ever thought of yourself.
382
00:19:05,789 --> 00:19:07,357
- You're a villain.
- Ugh.
383
00:19:07,358 --> 00:19:09,326
But in your final moments,
you can be remembered
384
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:12,282
for all the good you did
instead of your,
385
00:19:12,283 --> 00:19:16,249
- you know, cannibalism.
- But how would people know
386
00:19:16,250 --> 00:19:18,001
what I did to save you all?
387
00:19:18,034 --> 00:19:21,772
Here, I'll record
your heroic farewell.
388
00:19:21,805 --> 00:19:25,642
And I promise,
the entire galaxy will hear it.
389
00:19:25,676 --> 00:19:30,214
Okay. This is Captain
Glenda Price of the Tristan.
390
00:19:30,314 --> 00:19:34,285
Of all the many humanitarian
missions I've been on,
391
00:19:34,318 --> 00:19:36,453
all the lives I've saved,
392
00:19:36,487 --> 00:19:40,624
this last act of bravery
shall be my greatest.
393
00:19:40,657 --> 00:19:44,127
Sure, there will be songs
of my courage
394
00:19:44,161 --> 00:19:47,831
and statues in my honor.
395
00:19:47,864 --> 00:19:51,535
But know that serving
my fellow man...
396
00:19:54,171 --> 00:19:57,874
...it was my privilege.
397
00:19:57,908 --> 00:20:00,311
Get out of here!
398
00:20:00,977 --> 00:20:05,154
- Captain's orders!
- Aye, aye, Captain.
399
00:20:06,383 --> 00:20:08,151
For what it's worth,
I would have liked being
400
00:20:08,185 --> 00:20:10,687
an outlaw space pirate with you!
401
00:20:10,721 --> 00:20:13,689
Even though you're kind of mean
and mostly electromagnets,
402
00:20:13,690 --> 00:20:15,426
you're still my favorite!
403
00:20:15,526 --> 00:20:19,896
I hope this thing chews you
like gum, you crazy bitch.
404
00:20:19,930 --> 00:20:22,533
- All right, Lana, light it up.
- Krieger, are we ready to go?
405
00:20:22,566 --> 00:20:26,069
- Yep, yep, yep.
- Okay. Captain Price, for the final time,
406
00:20:26,102 --> 00:20:29,740
please power up for liftoff,
you brave, brave soul.
407
00:20:29,773 --> 00:20:31,673
Aye, aye.
408
00:20:33,910 --> 00:20:36,680
Jesus Christ,
it's one goddamn button, Price.
409
00:20:36,713 --> 00:20:38,749
How hard is it not to screw up
the last moment of your life?
410
00:20:43,954 --> 00:20:46,089
It's working!
411
00:20:48,392 --> 00:20:50,794
It's working. Hold on.
Here we go.
412
00:20:56,199 --> 00:20:58,935
That's them!
They got out!
413
00:20:58,969 --> 00:21:04,741
- Fly away, you idiot! Fly away!
- Stop yelling at me!
414
00:21:07,478 --> 00:21:11,782
Is it just me,
or is this literally the best tea
415
00:21:11,815 --> 00:21:14,951
- in the entire galaxy?
- That's probably the opium talking.
416
00:21:14,985 --> 00:21:17,788
Chasing that space dragon.
Rawr!
417
00:21:17,951 --> 00:21:22,222
So now not only am I
not a part of a suicide cult.
418
00:21:22,255 --> 00:21:25,000
I'm never gonna get a chance
to be ever again.
419
00:21:25,035 --> 00:21:25,824
There, there, dear.
420
00:21:25,892 --> 00:21:28,795
You're dead to me.
That must count for something.
421
00:21:28,895 --> 00:21:31,347
Aw, thanks.
Hey, I forgot to ask...
422
00:21:31,348 --> 00:21:34,367
- how did you end up getting out of there?
- We were able to generate
423
00:21:34,401 --> 00:21:37,203
enough heat from the fuel rods
that the Zarglorp spit us out.
424
00:21:37,237 --> 00:21:39,239
Oh, of course...
the extra fuel rods
425
00:21:39,272 --> 00:21:41,041
in the downstairs storage room.
426
00:21:41,074 --> 00:21:44,044
I was hoping you'd find those.
Glad they worked out.
427
00:21:44,077 --> 00:21:46,921
Yeah, worked out for everybody.
428
00:21:47,714 --> 00:21:49,716
So you gonna
upload Price's farewell
429
00:21:49,750 --> 00:21:52,985
- so the entire galaxy can hear it?
- Are you kidding me?
430
00:21:52,986 --> 00:21:55,255
- I wasn't recording that.
- Wait, what?
431
00:21:55,288 --> 00:21:57,223
What about your promise?
432
00:21:57,257 --> 00:22:01,662
- Wow, you really are an asshole.
- Oh, I'm the asshole.
433
00:22:01,762 --> 00:22:04,623
Lana, that lady ate people.
434
00:22:05,398 --> 00:22:08,802
Hey, I could
really go for a Moscow Mousse.
435
00:22:08,835 --> 00:22:10,856
You want one?
436
00:22:11,532 --> 00:22:16,031
sync & correction by f1nc0
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