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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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Don't forget, Greendale.
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It's the last day to sign up
for a spring semester elective!
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Horseback riding!
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Water skiing!
Fencing!
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Those are just a few classes
we can afford to offer
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if enough people
pay to learn hopscotch.
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Oh, they've got a class
on how to write jokes.
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Oh, don't take that.
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I dropped it
after the lesson on setups.
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The Professor is so old...
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So many classes.
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I don't know what to choose.
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I'll give you the same advice
my father gave me
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the night I lost my virginity.
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"Just pick one.
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They all cost the same."
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You could always take
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"The Actor Inside"
with me and Troy.
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How'd you get dragged
into that one?
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Our dance teacher encourages
us to take acting classes
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to tap into
our emotional cores,
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so Troy and I both decided
to take it together.
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Hmm. Foosball was full?
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I'm on the wait list.
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Don't give up.
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I was on the wait list
for this media class
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for a year and a half
and I finally got in.
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"Who Indeed:
A Critical Analysis
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of Television's
Who's the Boss?"
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The professor of this class
is the author of this book.
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- We got him?
- I know.
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So what are you taking, Jeff?
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Well, while you knuckleheads
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are expanding
your minds and souls,
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I'll be expanding my liver
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in "Italian Wine Tasting."
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Oh! Molto bene!
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I'm taking that one, too.
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Hmm. How do you say
"ha ha" in Italian?
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I'll look it up.
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Come on, Jeff, it'll be fun.
I can give you pointers.
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Pierce, I was a lawyer
at a top-tier law firm.
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When I wasn't shielding
the wealthy from justice,
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I was drinking
their finest wines.
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I assume you have
your own wine cellar.
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Pierce does.
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And it's, "ha ha!"
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Anyone can have a cellar.
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It's what's in it that counts.
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Pierce's has a special gym
with swings and saddles.
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Uh, we don't... we don't
discuss the special gym.
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Uh, attention, please.
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All elective forms must be in
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by the end of the day.
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Oh, nice job, Manuel.
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And good news.
There's still plenty of room
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in my P.A. Announcements class.
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Just ten bucks an hour.
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♪ Give me some rope,
time in a tree ♪
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♪ give me the hope
to run out of steam ♪
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♪ somebody said
we could be here ♪
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♪ we could be roped up,
tied up, dead in a year ♪
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♪ I can't count the reasons
I should stay ♪
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♪ one by one they all
just fade away ♪
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Corrected by honeybunny
www.MY-SUBS.com
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You're taking this, too?
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Hell, yeah.
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Got drunk ladies,
fancy bathrooms,
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and a room full of free coats.
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Sorry I'm late, man.
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I brought you a present.
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Oh.
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From before
your chin dimple filled in.
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Uh, excuse me.
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- So sorry.
- Hmm!
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Wow.
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Who is the dumpling
with the nice Asian pair?
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That's the first time
sexism has made me hungry,
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but she is something.
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I fear I may have
to let her see me nude.
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I might have to take
a shot myself.
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What's so funny?
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Well, why would a woman
want a Plymouth on cinder blocks
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when she could have
a Testarossa, 500 horsepower
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with a six-speed stick?
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'Cause my stick is ribbed
for her pleasure.
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I think those are wrinkles.
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Let that breathe.
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Lingering scent, full body,
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perfect nose.
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Very nice wine.
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I was talking about you.
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Jeff Winger.
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Wu Mei Hong Long.
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Oh, what a lovely name
for a lovely...
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Uh, not interested.
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Please take weird haircut,
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stupid grin,
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and go sniff another dog's ass.
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Hmm hmm, the red dragon
ordered a number 37
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with a side
of pork-fried snap.
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When you get up close,
she's very homely.
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This is gonna be fun.
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I can't wait
till we choose stage names.
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Which do you think is better?
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Trevor St. McGoodbody
or David?
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I don't think you have
to worry about stuff like that.
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This class is
more about introspection.
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Drag.
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Less of a drag.
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Quiet!
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Form a trust circle around me
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and sit on the floor.
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A trust circle?
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It's just a circle.
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It's a circle.
Sit down.
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Acting is revealing,
expression.
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When we release pain,
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we become visible
to each other,
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and that is an actor's job.
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That and, you know,
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pretending to be other people.
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Let's start with you.
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Access and share with us
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a profoundly deep
and painful memory.
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I'm on the playground.
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Stop taunting me!
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I just want to go
on the swings!
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Good.
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Early childhood
is a treasure trove of pain.
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That happened this morning.
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You're up.
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Me? Um...
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I don't...
I don't think, uh...
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I don't want you to think.
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Feel!
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Go back.
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Dig in. Emotilize.
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Something hurt you.
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Um...
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I was captain
of my high school football team.
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It was very hard being popular.
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What a loser.
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Okay, great.
Next person.
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I've always felt
somehow ignored,
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almost invisible.
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Like every time I go to say
something, somebody just...
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My uncle put his finger
in my no-no!
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This... this
is where acting begins.
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Welcome to "A Critical
Analysis of Who's the Boss?"
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I am Professor Peter Sheffield,
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and I'd like to begin
with a simple question...
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Who was the boss?
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Yes.
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Angela.
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Oh, well!
Class dismissed!
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No, calm down.
Calm down.
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I'm sorry, um...
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- Mister...?
- Abed.
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The answer is not
quite that simple, Mr. Abed.
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Few are.
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Now, if everyone
could please turn to page 12
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in my book...
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Loser!
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You really have to finish
that whole book by tomorrow?
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Yeah, but it's a page-turner.
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I'm on the chapter where he
traces Tony Micelli's genealogy
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all the way back to Caesar.
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Well, it's gotta be better
than wine tasting with Pierce.
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He refused to drink Pinot Noir
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because he thought it was French
for "black penis."
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And he's late. Again.
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It's not your fault.
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It's not your fault.
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Oh, I'm sure he'll be here.
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He wouldn't miss a chance to pop
in and say something offensive.
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One day soon, that man's gonna
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run out of ways
to shock people.
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Everybody,
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this is Wu Mei,
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and we're getting married!
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But it's not gonna be today.
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So, uh, you're getting married
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to that beautiful young thing?
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Well, uh, stranger things
have happened.
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No.
No, they haven't.
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You said you guys just met?
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Yesterday,
after wine tasting class.
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I mentioned
that her breasts were larger
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than most Asian women,
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and, uh,
we just got to talking.
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Turns out Pierce has been
to China many times.
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It's the only place
to get fireworks
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that are too dangerous
for Mexico.
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No. I go
to visit my factory.
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Hawthorne Wipes are the number
one moist towelette in Asia.
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Anyway, after a few minutes,
we both just knew
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we were meant to be
together forever.
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Or at least
until she gets heavy.
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And, uh, now we must leave you.
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Many plans to make.
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Yes, yes, big plans.
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Well, what are we gonna do?
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Plan an engagement party?
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00:08:07,019 --> 00:08:08,520
Are you out of your mind?!
This is a scam.
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00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:11,590
She's after him for his money
or a green card or something!
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00:08:11,624 --> 00:08:13,058
They seem
to really like each other.
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Yeah, and Pierce married
three of his wives
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after knowing them
less than a month.
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Maybe he's just a romantic.
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00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:19,164
Not that you
would understand romance.
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00:08:19,198 --> 00:08:20,966
Don't preach to me
about romance, Annie.
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00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:24,102
I had a three-way
in a hot air balloon.
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00:08:24,136 --> 00:08:25,871
Guess I'll do it myself.
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00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:28,173
- Want to go?
- Mm-hmm.
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00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:31,042
Boy, he seems really worked up.
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00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:33,278
Hey, don't take on his pain.
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Tend your own garden.
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00:08:38,651 --> 00:08:40,085
I'll see you in class.
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00:08:43,689 --> 00:08:44,890
What's going on?
221
00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:47,425
Oh, um, I didn't have
a painful experience
222
00:08:47,460 --> 00:08:49,461
to share in acting class,
so I made up this story
223
00:08:49,495 --> 00:08:51,296
about my uncle trying
to touch my butt.
224
00:08:51,330 --> 00:08:52,731
Britta's attracted
to men in pain.
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00:08:52,765 --> 00:08:54,332
It helps her pretend
to be mentally healthy.
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00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:55,367
- Really?
- Yeah.
227
00:08:55,401 --> 00:08:56,735
I hadn't noticed.
228
00:08:56,769 --> 00:08:59,104
Troy? Nothing good
can come of this.
229
00:08:59,138 --> 00:09:00,805
Yeah.
230
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:02,474
I'll have to think really hard
231
00:09:02,508 --> 00:09:04,242
about how to defuse
the situation.
232
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:05,777
No, uncle Lucius!
233
00:09:05,811 --> 00:09:08,313
I don't want to play
in the laundry room!
234
00:09:08,347 --> 00:09:10,215
My emotions!
235
00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:12,384
My emotions!
236
00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:19,691
Actors dismissed.
237
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:22,093
Uh, for homework,
238
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:25,397
drink a glass of cognac
in a bathtub.
239
00:09:25,431 --> 00:09:30,101
Troy, I feel like I'm seeing
a whole different side of you.
240
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:32,037
There's just so much darkness.
241
00:09:33,172 --> 00:09:35,774
And my soul is darkening,
242
00:09:35,808 --> 00:09:40,378
and my heart is mad
at my kidneys, and...
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00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,013
My mouth...Mm!
244
00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:47,285
See you tomorrow?
245
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,225
Uh, hello.
246
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,527
Oh, hi.
I'm glad you could come.
247
00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:56,962
Please sit.
248
00:09:56,996 --> 00:10:00,999
I felt like we got off
on the wrong foot yesterday,
249
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:04,069
and I wanted to offer you
my, uh, other foot.
250
00:10:04,103 --> 00:10:07,806
First, let me just say how happy
I am for you both.
251
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:09,074
Your parents
must be so excited.
252
00:10:09,108 --> 00:10:10,175
Are they coming to the wedding?
253
00:10:10,209 --> 00:10:12,077
Oh, they would not miss it.
254
00:10:12,111 --> 00:10:15,547
My mother will make
the customary shark's fin soup,
255
00:10:15,581 --> 00:10:17,015
and my father will get drunk
256
00:10:17,049 --> 00:10:19,584
and make bad impression
of Borat.
257
00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,419
Oh, so your parents don't mind
258
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,355
having a son-in-law
roughly their age?
259
00:10:23,389 --> 00:10:27,459
No. Pierce
is a beautiful, wise man,
260
00:10:27,493 --> 00:10:29,628
very gentle soul.
261
00:10:29,662 --> 00:10:32,364
Uh, let me tell you
that I am a lawyer,
262
00:10:32,398 --> 00:10:34,132
so if you need any help at all
263
00:10:34,166 --> 00:10:36,935
navigating the whole green card
immigration hassle.
264
00:10:36,969 --> 00:10:39,070
I am dual citizen already.
265
00:10:39,105 --> 00:10:42,007
Oh. Well, if you'd like me to
look at the prenup...
266
00:10:42,041 --> 00:10:43,875
I assume you have one.
267
00:10:43,909 --> 00:10:46,878
Yes, but my father's lawyers
will take care of this.
268
00:10:46,912 --> 00:10:50,548
After all, we must protect
our family fortune.
269
00:10:50,583 --> 00:10:52,384
Hmm.
270
00:10:52,418 --> 00:10:53,585
Now I'm stumped.
271
00:10:53,619 --> 00:10:54,586
Excuse me?
272
00:10:54,620 --> 00:10:56,054
Uh, it was...
273
00:10:56,088 --> 00:10:58,456
That means it was very nice
talking to you.
274
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:00,125
Oh, okay, if you say so.
275
00:11:00,159 --> 00:11:01,860
- Okay.
- Okay, good-bye.
276
00:11:03,796 --> 00:11:06,398
Why were you grilling her?
277
00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:09,701
Listen, I'm gonna bust
into her apartment.
278
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:11,036
Do you have
any grappling hooks.
279
00:11:11,070 --> 00:11:12,771
Maybe Pierce finally found
his soul mate.
280
00:11:12,805 --> 00:11:15,006
How can you say those things
without any trace of irony?
281
00:11:15,041 --> 00:11:17,108
That's why they call me
irony-free Annie.
282
00:11:17,143 --> 00:11:19,944
Mm, trust me,
that's not what they call you.
283
00:11:26,986 --> 00:11:28,586
Yes?
284
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:31,222
Oh. Mr. Abed.
What can I do for you?
285
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:32,657
I finished your book,
Professor,
286
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:34,626
and I've been watching episodes
of Who's the Boss?
287
00:11:34,660 --> 00:11:36,861
And I think there's something
that you might have overlooked.
288
00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:38,296
Mr. Abed,
will you look at my wall?
289
00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:41,032
- Mm-hmm.
- What do you see?
290
00:11:41,067 --> 00:11:42,267
- Photographs.
- Of what?
291
00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:43,435
- You.
- With whom?
292
00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:44,803
Tony Danza, Judith Light,
Alyssa Milano,
293
00:11:44,837 --> 00:11:46,638
Who's the Boss?
Season three caterer,
294
00:11:46,672 --> 00:11:48,206
Gordon "Giddy-up" Galligan.
295
00:11:48,240 --> 00:11:51,242
I have studied this show,
mister Abed.
296
00:11:51,277 --> 00:11:52,744
I am not a fan,
297
00:11:52,778 --> 00:11:54,646
I am not a groupie,
298
00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:57,082
I am an academic.
299
00:11:57,116 --> 00:11:59,818
When I ask the question,
"Who's the boss?"
300
00:11:59,852 --> 00:12:01,453
It is a rhetorical question.
301
00:12:01,487 --> 00:12:04,689
When I ask the question beyond
the question, "What is a boss?"
302
00:12:04,724 --> 00:12:07,225
I really think it's Angela,
because if it's a boss...
303
00:12:08,761 --> 00:12:09,894
Enough!
304
00:12:09,929 --> 00:12:10,962
I would like you to leave
my room.
305
00:12:10,996 --> 00:12:12,397
My mind is open, Professor.
306
00:12:12,431 --> 00:12:13,865
It's as open as the door
to Mona's bedroom.
307
00:12:13,899 --> 00:12:17,202
- It's a shame yours isn't.
- I beg your pardon?
308
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:20,972
You know?
I just got a wonderful idea.
309
00:12:21,006 --> 00:12:24,209
Why don't you teach
the next class?
310
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:28,079
That way you can share your
open mind with everybody.
311
00:12:28,114 --> 00:12:29,514
Cool.
Cool cool cool.
312
00:12:29,548 --> 00:12:31,249
Pchew.
313
00:12:33,052 --> 00:12:34,619
I couldn't be more touched
314
00:12:34,653 --> 00:12:36,654
that you all threw us
an engagement party.
315
00:12:36,689 --> 00:12:38,089
You said if we didn't,
you'd slash our tires.
316
00:12:38,124 --> 00:12:40,558
She is funny.
317
00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,626
Like Oprah.
318
00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:43,261
Oprah's not a comedienne.
319
00:12:43,295 --> 00:12:47,432
No, you are funny,
and you are like Oprah.
320
00:12:47,466 --> 00:12:49,167
Yeah.
What?
321
00:12:49,201 --> 00:12:50,635
Thank you.
322
00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:53,605
Pierce, I'd like to offer
my sincere congratulations.
323
00:12:53,639 --> 00:12:55,106
It's hard enough to find people
324
00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:56,574
you can stand in this life,
325
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:58,643
let alone someone
who's willing to stomach
326
00:12:58,677 --> 00:13:00,745
your imminent dementia
and present incontinence.
327
00:13:00,780 --> 00:13:01,913
Thank you, Jeff.
328
00:13:01,947 --> 00:13:03,882
I just hope she can satisfy me.
329
00:13:03,916 --> 00:13:06,885
I'm like an insatiable baboon
in the bedroom.
330
00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:08,119
Don't sell yourself short.
331
00:13:08,154 --> 00:13:09,354
You're a baboon everywhere.
332
00:13:12,258 --> 00:13:13,458
Seems like just yesterday
333
00:13:13,492 --> 00:13:15,326
me and Abed
dined and ditched here.
334
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:22,167
Here, hold this.
335
00:13:22,201 --> 00:13:24,102
Ugh, what is this?
336
00:13:24,136 --> 00:13:26,504
I always carry some spare apps
in case the wait staff's racist.
337
00:13:26,539 --> 00:13:28,006
Where's a napkin?
338
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:29,174
Uh, here you go.
339
00:13:29,208 --> 00:13:31,242
Oh, thanks.
340
00:13:31,277 --> 00:13:32,544
Check that out.
341
00:13:32,578 --> 00:13:35,380
Hats off to Pierce
and the hot red dragon.
342
00:13:35,414 --> 00:13:36,548
Why do you keep
calling her that?
343
00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:38,383
"Hong Long" means red dragon.
344
00:13:38,417 --> 00:13:39,684
But that's her middle name.
345
00:13:39,718 --> 00:13:41,886
In China, they
put the last name first.
346
00:13:41,921 --> 00:13:43,121
I mean,
they're nuts over there.
347
00:13:43,155 --> 00:13:45,423
Hm-hmm.
348
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:51,863
Thank you all for coming.
349
00:13:51,897 --> 00:13:53,298
I know it seems fast,
350
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,600
but when you find the right
person, you just know it.
351
00:13:55,634 --> 00:13:58,069
I know that because I've found
the right person seven times.
352
00:13:58,103 --> 00:14:01,105
So the drinks are on me,
but stick to the crappy stuff.
353
00:14:01,140 --> 00:14:03,107
I don't want to get corn-holed
on the bar tab.
354
00:14:03,142 --> 00:14:06,144
Pierce, you can't just throw
around a term like that.
355
00:14:06,178 --> 00:14:08,112
Corn-hole.
356
00:14:08,147 --> 00:14:11,149
Corn-hole, corn-hole!
357
00:14:11,183 --> 00:14:14,219
Pierce!
Troy was molested!
358
00:14:14,253 --> 00:14:15,253
Cool.
359
00:14:17,823 --> 00:14:20,859
Troy, we didn't know.
360
00:14:20,893 --> 00:14:22,560
Troy, do you need me
to recommend a support group?
361
00:14:22,595 --> 00:14:24,229
Hey, he's not a victim.
362
00:14:24,263 --> 00:14:25,730
You're a survivor.
363
00:14:32,238 --> 00:14:34,639
Yeah, about that...
364
00:14:34,673 --> 00:14:37,709
I wasn't so much "molested"
365
00:14:37,743 --> 00:14:40,578
as much as I "made it up."
366
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:42,647
What?
367
00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:45,183
We're gonna laugh so hard
about this later.
368
00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:46,918
I'd like to propose a toast.
369
00:14:46,952 --> 00:14:51,956
Wu Mei Hong Long, better known
as Mei Hong Long Wu,
370
00:14:51,991 --> 00:14:55,093
is not only
not a Greendale student,
371
00:14:55,127 --> 00:14:57,328
she works for Red Dragon Wwipes,
372
00:14:57,363 --> 00:15:00,265
the number two wipe in Asia,
373
00:15:00,299 --> 00:15:04,035
currently attempting
a takeover of Hawthorne Wipes.
374
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:05,803
So please, raise your glasses
375
00:15:05,838 --> 00:15:09,240
to saving Pierce from
the clutches of a corporate spy,
376
00:15:09,275 --> 00:15:11,776
and to me for being
attractive enough
377
00:15:11,810 --> 00:15:15,046
to get a girl like her
under normal circumstances.
378
00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:18,650
Very impressive, Veronica Mars.
379
00:15:18,684 --> 00:15:20,084
You learned how to use Google.
380
00:15:20,119 --> 00:15:22,320
And you learned to fight
your physical desire for me.
381
00:15:22,354 --> 00:15:23,588
Oh, stick it.
382
00:15:23,622 --> 00:15:25,690
You suck.
383
00:15:26,992 --> 00:15:30,194
Wait, wait, wait.
384
00:15:31,797 --> 00:15:33,498
Record scratch app.
385
00:15:43,876 --> 00:15:45,276
Where'd everybody go?
386
00:15:45,311 --> 00:15:47,712
Most people went home.
387
00:15:47,746 --> 00:15:49,180
The rest went with Chang
to your place
388
00:15:49,214 --> 00:15:50,348
to have a ketchup fight.
389
00:15:50,382 --> 00:15:51,983
Oh, jeez, I better
get back there
390
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:53,718
before he starts
playing monkey drop.
391
00:15:53,752 --> 00:15:56,020
Don't ask.
392
00:15:56,055 --> 00:15:57,522
Oh, uh, do you want to come?
393
00:15:57,556 --> 00:16:00,258
Why would I want to go
anywhere with Judas Winger?
394
00:16:00,292 --> 00:16:02,126
You're mad at me?
You should be thanking me.
395
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:04,729
For what?
Ruining my relationship?
396
00:16:04,763 --> 00:16:06,097
What relationship?
397
00:16:06,131 --> 00:16:08,766
You just met the woman,
and the entire thing was a lie.
398
00:16:08,801 --> 00:16:10,835
She was just using you to get
your company in China.
399
00:16:10,869 --> 00:16:13,438
And I was just using her to
get her company in the sack.
400
00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:15,473
People use each other Jeff.
401
00:16:15,507 --> 00:16:17,241
It doesn't mean that
there aren't good feelings
402
00:16:17,276 --> 00:16:18,576
that go along with it.
403
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:20,211
I liked her.
404
00:16:20,245 --> 00:16:23,381
She was busty.
405
00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:24,816
I thought we had something.
406
00:16:24,850 --> 00:16:26,751
I was trying to help you.
407
00:16:26,785 --> 00:16:28,119
I think what
you were trying to do
408
00:16:28,153 --> 00:16:30,388
is prove that no woman
could want me.
409
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:42,767
Oh, you're here.
410
00:16:42,801 --> 00:16:45,503
Look, Britta, I'm really sorry.
411
00:16:45,537 --> 00:16:47,372
Troy, kissing you
was a mistake.
412
00:16:47,406 --> 00:16:48,673
It will never happen again.
413
00:16:50,209 --> 00:16:51,442
Good.
414
00:16:51,477 --> 00:16:53,878
Before my ex-boyfriend Pablo
was arrested
415
00:16:53,912 --> 00:16:55,279
for forging church relics,
416
00:16:55,314 --> 00:16:57,081
he accused me
of only being attracted
417
00:16:57,116 --> 00:16:58,783
to a certain kind of guy.
418
00:16:58,817 --> 00:17:01,019
It was hard
to understand him, though.
419
00:17:01,053 --> 00:17:02,954
He was pretty huffed up
on paint thinners.
420
00:17:02,988 --> 00:17:06,524
Well, maybe someday, you'll
fall for someone who's healthy.
421
00:17:06,558 --> 00:17:08,126
Someone who,
422
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:10,361
other than his irrational fear
of automatic toilets,
423
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:12,930
is normal.
424
00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:17,101
Who would like to begin today?
425
00:17:17,136 --> 00:17:18,770
I would.
426
00:17:18,804 --> 00:17:21,606
With a confession.
427
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:24,342
My uncle never stuck
his finger in my plop-plop.
428
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:27,311
I know.
I'm bummed about it, too.
429
00:17:27,346 --> 00:17:28,746
I'm sorry.
430
00:17:28,781 --> 00:17:30,715
I...want to be interesting.
431
00:17:30,749 --> 00:17:33,818
I want to fit in with you guys.
432
00:17:33,852 --> 00:17:36,921
I want to be able
to be an actor.
433
00:17:45,898 --> 00:17:49,500
The pain
of not having enough pain
434
00:17:49,535 --> 00:17:51,702
is still pain, young man.
435
00:17:51,737 --> 00:17:55,973
That may seem
like an easy resolution, but...
436
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:58,309
We're not writers.
437
00:17:58,343 --> 00:17:59,777
We're actors.
438
00:18:01,814 --> 00:18:04,182
Story doesn't matter here.
439
00:18:07,086 --> 00:18:12,423
All that matters is our time
440
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:15,393
in the spotlight.
441
00:18:15,427 --> 00:18:17,728
And so,
by all known definitions
442
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:20,064
of the word "boss," I.E.,
one with authority over another,
443
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,999
in 9 of 11 known
possible fields
444
00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:25,269
in which one might teach,
employ, guide,
445
00:18:25,304 --> 00:18:27,105
oversee, and/or
otherwise hold dominion,
446
00:18:27,139 --> 00:18:28,940
the empirically provable answer
447
00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:32,743
to the question "who's the boss?" is...
448
00:18:35,047 --> 00:18:37,348
Angela Bauer.
449
00:18:46,758 --> 00:18:49,026
Class dismissed.
450
00:18:57,836 --> 00:19:01,072
Class dismissed!
451
00:19:12,184 --> 00:19:14,719
There's a path you take
and a path untaken.
452
00:19:16,388 --> 00:19:18,890
The choice is up to you,
my friend.
453
00:19:45,250 --> 00:19:47,818
I wonder why Jeff and Abed
didn't show?
454
00:19:47,853 --> 00:19:50,154
Well, I don't know about Abed,
455
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,957
but I'm sure Jeff just
found another life to destroy.
456
00:19:52,991 --> 00:19:55,193
Are you still thinking
about studying acting?
457
00:19:55,227 --> 00:19:56,961
I'm auditioning
for Professor Garrity's
458
00:19:56,995 --> 00:19:59,363
all-black production
of Fiddler on the Roof.
459
00:19:59,398 --> 00:20:01,332
It's called Fiddla Please.
460
00:20:02,601 --> 00:20:03,801
What's she doing here?
461
00:20:03,835 --> 00:20:05,236
I asked her to come.
462
00:20:05,270 --> 00:20:08,372
I was thinking, maybe you two
were meant to be together.
463
00:20:08,407 --> 00:20:11,008
You're both rude, you're
both deceitful and racist,
464
00:20:11,043 --> 00:20:13,611
and you both come
from moist wipe dynasties.
465
00:20:13,645 --> 00:20:15,246
I think having
that much in common
466
00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,215
justifies
at least one real date.
467
00:20:17,249 --> 00:20:19,784
I guess we could
go out to one dinner.
468
00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:21,719
- You're paying.
- You're dressing slutty.
469
00:20:21,753 --> 00:20:23,087
Fine.
470
00:20:23,121 --> 00:20:24,555
How about Mexican?
471
00:20:24,590 --> 00:20:25,923
How about Thai?
472
00:20:25,958 --> 00:20:27,825
They're like Chinese Mexicans.
473
00:20:27,859 --> 00:20:29,460
- Hmm, so true.
- Mmm.
474
00:20:29,494 --> 00:20:32,496
Corrected by honeybunny
www.MY-SUBS.com
475
00:20:39,738 --> 00:20:39,770
♪ It's hard to be Jewish,
it's hard to be Jewish ♪
476
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:43,374
♪ it's hard to be
Jewish in Russia, yo ♪
477
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:45,910
♪ it's hard to be Jewish,
it's hard to be Jewish ♪
478
00:20:45,944 --> 00:20:48,212
♪ hard to be Jewish in Russia, yo ♪
479
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,448
♪ bagels and lox,
diamond shops ♪
480
00:20:50,482 --> 00:20:52,883
♪ it's hard to be Jewish in Russia, yo ♪
481
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:55,052
♪ hard to be Jewish,
hard to be Jewish ♪
482
00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:57,888
♪ hard to be Jewish in Russia, yo ♪
483
00:20:57,923 --> 00:21:04,996
Someone drop
an old testament beat.
484
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:06,497
Dreidels.