1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
1
00:00:10,543 --> 00:00:12,110
I don't want to be late for lunch.
2
00:00:12,178 --> 00:00:13,879
"Amar" is "to love", right?
3
00:00:13,946 --> 00:00:15,613
Oh! Speaking of love,
4
00:00:15,681 --> 00:00:18,082
Shirley, how's it going
with the sexy dreadlock guy?
5
00:00:18,150 --> 00:00:20,284
Oh, I'm sure I don't
have a chance with him.
6
00:00:20,352 --> 00:00:22,337
Abed and I talked to him
by the vending machines.
7
00:00:22,405 --> 00:00:23,740
He asked about you.
8
00:00:23,808 --> 00:00:25,029
He specifically asked about me?
9
00:00:25,097 --> 00:00:26,694
- Mm-hmm.
- Sure.
10
00:00:26,762 --> 00:00:28,028
When Annie brought you up,
he specifically asked,
11
00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:30,194
- "Who is that?"
- Abed.
12
00:00:30,262 --> 00:00:32,295
- Oh.
- What? That's what he said.
13
00:00:32,362 --> 00:00:34,694
Abed, your social skills
aren't exactly streets ahead.
14
00:00:34,762 --> 00:00:36,328
You know what I mean?
15
00:00:36,395 --> 00:00:37,898
- I don't.
- You're not alone in this case.
16
00:00:37,966 --> 00:00:39,602
Pierce, stop trying to coin the phrase,
17
00:00:39,670 --> 00:00:40,944
"Streets ahead".
18
00:00:41,012 --> 00:00:43,145
Trying?
19
00:00:43,213 --> 00:00:45,315
Coined and minted.
20
00:00:45,382 --> 00:00:46,954
Been there, coined that.
21
00:00:47,022 --> 00:00:49,959
"Streets ahead" is verbal wildfire.
22
00:00:50,027 --> 00:00:51,662
Does it just mean "cool", or is it
23
00:00:51,730 --> 00:00:54,233
supposed to be, like, "miles ahead"?
24
00:00:54,301 --> 00:00:56,604
If you have to ask,
you're streets behind.
25
00:00:56,672 --> 00:00:58,476
Okay, we can banter
if we want to banter,
26
00:00:58,543 --> 00:01:00,645
but I'm warning you
I am leaving for lunch early.
27
00:01:00,713 --> 00:01:01,646
- Me too.
- Me three.
28
00:01:01,714 --> 00:01:02,848
Streets ahead.
29
00:01:02,917 --> 00:01:04,285
Man, you guys really love
30
00:01:04,352 --> 00:01:05,619
these stupid chicken fingers, huh?
31
00:01:05,687 --> 00:01:07,321
Uh, they're not stupid.
32
00:01:07,389 --> 00:01:08,956
They're the only good thing
in the cafeteria.
33
00:01:09,024 --> 00:01:11,258
I haven't had one in weeks.
They run out so fast.
34
00:01:11,326 --> 00:01:13,295
If God were edible...
Not that I'm Catholic,
35
00:01:13,363 --> 00:01:14,430
but if it was cool to eat God,
36
00:01:14,498 --> 00:01:15,631
he'd be a chicken finger.
37
00:01:15,699 --> 00:01:16,833
- Mm-hmm.
- Mm-hmm.
38
00:01:16,901 --> 00:01:17,968
Well, I wouldn't know.
39
00:01:18,035 --> 00:01:19,336
I'm a vegetarian.
40
00:01:19,404 --> 00:01:20,838
- Shocker.
- Yeah.
41
00:01:20,906 --> 00:01:22,340
And if you guys knew how they treated
42
00:01:22,407 --> 00:01:23,775
the animals that you are eating,
43
00:01:23,842 --> 00:01:25,811
you would eat them even faster
44
00:01:25,879 --> 00:01:27,013
just to put them out of their misery
45
00:01:27,081 --> 00:01:28,481
and then you would throw up.
46
00:01:29,550 --> 00:01:30,717
I don't know.
47
00:01:30,785 --> 00:01:33,153
Maybe I'm feeling extra protective
48
00:01:33,221 --> 00:01:34,587
of animals today
because my cat is sick.
49
00:01:34,655 --> 00:01:36,423
- Oh, a cat?
- That's awful.
50
00:01:36,491 --> 00:01:37,857
He has diabetes.
51
00:01:37,925 --> 00:01:39,959
He can't even make it
to the litter box...
52
00:01:40,026 --> 00:01:42,193
- Chicken run!
- Whoo!
53
00:01:42,261 --> 00:01:44,329
Ow!
54
00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:47,598
I'm afraid that I'm gonna
have to put her to sleep.
55
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:50,333
Ah, go on.
56
00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:51,334
God bless you.
57
00:01:51,401 --> 00:01:52,768
Save some for me!
58
00:01:52,836 --> 00:01:54,136
Watch out!
59
00:01:54,203 --> 00:01:58,203
- Sync By YesCool
- ~ iSubs.coil.us.to & MY-SUBS.com
60
00:01:58,204 --> 00:02:01,204
Corrected by icephoenix and by 4be1
www.MY-SUBS.com
61
00:02:02,099 --> 00:02:05,315
Oh, I can hear those
fingers calling my name.
62
00:02:05,382 --> 00:02:07,117
"Troy! Troy!"
63
00:02:07,184 --> 00:02:08,852
Troy, did you get my text message?
64
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:09,954
"Did you get my text message?"
65
00:02:10,021 --> 00:02:14,892
Um, I think it's...
66
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:16,260
I got to stop hanging out with her.
67
00:02:16,328 --> 00:02:18,730
She sounds like a chicken finger.
68
00:02:18,797 --> 00:02:20,197
Again?
69
00:02:20,265 --> 00:02:21,699
Outrageous.
70
00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,400
At least apologize.
71
00:02:23,468 --> 00:02:26,669
How can you just stand
there like a mute idiot?
72
00:02:29,940 --> 00:02:32,007
- Ooh.
- Well...
73
00:02:32,075 --> 00:02:33,442
Throat surgery might humanize you,
74
00:02:33,510 --> 00:02:34,743
but it doesn't make this acceptable.
75
00:02:34,811 --> 00:02:35,944
So cute.
76
00:02:36,012 --> 00:02:38,613
And I don't even
normally like dreadlocks.
77
00:02:38,681 --> 00:02:42,918
Hello.
78
00:02:42,986 --> 00:02:44,820
His dreadlocks remind me
of The Predator,
79
00:02:44,888 --> 00:02:47,658
which is weird, because
you're doing the actual hunting
80
00:02:47,726 --> 00:02:51,262
and you seem invisible to him.
81
00:02:51,330 --> 00:02:53,064
- Abed, you know what I do?
- Hmm?
82
00:02:53,132 --> 00:02:54,900
Before I talk, I ask myself,
83
00:02:54,968 --> 00:02:56,034
"What am I about to say?"
84
00:02:56,102 --> 00:02:58,604
"And how might it affect
each person listening?"
85
00:02:58,672 --> 00:03:00,372
I'm really glad you said that, Britta.
86
00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,408
The idea that you
compulsively filter yourself
87
00:03:02,476 --> 00:03:05,212
makes your lack of
flavor kind of a flavor.
88
00:03:05,279 --> 00:03:08,348
Sorry, guys. They ran out again.
89
00:03:08,416 --> 00:03:10,151
Something's gotta be done.
90
00:03:13,755 --> 00:03:15,423
Hey!
91
00:03:15,491 --> 00:03:18,894
What the hell, man?
92
00:03:18,961 --> 00:03:20,929
That's half our problem right there.
93
00:03:20,997 --> 00:03:23,532
Star-burns works the
fryer and skims fingers.
94
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:24,734
No way.
95
00:03:24,801 --> 00:03:25,935
He gives them to people just so
96
00:03:26,003 --> 00:03:27,804
they'll act like he isn't Star-burns.
97
00:03:27,872 --> 00:03:29,139
Well, I may not eat meat,
98
00:03:29,206 --> 00:03:31,642
but I am not gonna eat that injustice.
99
00:03:31,709 --> 00:03:32,910
Let's complain.
100
00:03:32,978 --> 00:03:34,645
If we complain, he gets a warning
101
00:03:34,713 --> 00:03:35,779
and learns to be sneakier.
102
00:03:35,847 --> 00:03:37,248
I say we knock him out of the kitchen
103
00:03:37,315 --> 00:03:38,983
and replace him with one of our own
104
00:03:39,050 --> 00:03:40,551
all in one move.
105
00:03:40,619 --> 00:03:42,086
Then we're the ones with the chicken.
106
00:03:42,154 --> 00:03:43,521
It's like a mafia movie.
107
00:03:43,589 --> 00:03:44,922
As far back as I can remember,
108
00:03:44,990 --> 00:03:46,524
I always wanted to be in a mafia movie.
109
00:03:46,591 --> 00:03:47,758
Cool.
110
00:03:47,826 --> 00:03:49,393
That's exactly what it's like, Abed,
111
00:03:49,461 --> 00:03:50,928
and you get the most important job.
112
00:03:50,996 --> 00:03:52,162
You're gonna be fry cook.
113
00:03:52,230 --> 00:03:53,764
We may be watching
different mafia movies.
114
00:03:53,832 --> 00:03:55,398
You worked in your
dad's restaurant, right?
115
00:03:55,466 --> 00:03:56,632
Well, you'll apply for the job
116
00:03:56,700 --> 00:03:57,800
after we get Star-burns fired.
117
00:03:57,868 --> 00:03:58,968
I don't know about that.
118
00:03:59,036 --> 00:04:00,336
I don't know about the firing.
119
00:04:00,404 --> 00:04:02,306
I think he really
relies on that income.
120
00:04:02,373 --> 00:04:03,407
Yeah, man.
121
00:04:03,475 --> 00:04:05,409
Every day you flock here like sheep
122
00:04:05,477 --> 00:04:08,079
and wait in line for a broken
promise from a dirty system.
123
00:04:08,147 --> 00:04:09,547
Back in those days, Jeff Winger
124
00:04:09,615 --> 00:04:10,915
was the guy that made things happen.
125
00:04:10,983 --> 00:04:12,384
He always knew what to say
126
00:04:12,452 --> 00:04:14,353
and he always knew
when to slap the table.
127
00:04:14,420 --> 00:04:16,421
You want to be sheep, keep flocking.
128
00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:18,757
You want to be wolves, form a pack.
129
00:04:18,825 --> 00:04:21,160
And that was it.
It was that simple.
130
00:04:21,227 --> 00:04:23,595
At that moment,
we stopped being a family
131
00:04:23,663 --> 00:04:26,432
and started being a
family... in italics.
132
00:04:26,499 --> 00:04:28,767
Britta got cozy with Star-burns.
133
00:04:28,835 --> 00:04:30,536
- Can I touch both at... Oh!
- Yeah, do 'em both.
134
00:04:30,603 --> 00:04:32,637
He lowered his guard and just like that,
135
00:04:32,705 --> 00:04:36,975
he was gone.
136
00:04:37,043 --> 00:04:39,544
I mean, the way Jeff saw
it, by not respecting us,
137
00:04:39,612 --> 00:04:41,746
Star-burns had basically
brought it on himself.
138
00:04:41,814 --> 00:04:43,949
And when his job opened up,
we did what we had to do
139
00:04:44,016 --> 00:04:46,985
to keep the list of
applicants to a minimum.
140
00:04:47,053 --> 00:04:48,720
I had worked in my
dad's falafel restaurant,
141
00:04:48,788 --> 00:04:50,355
so I had a pretty impressive resume.
142
00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:51,456
It's very impressive.
143
00:04:51,524 --> 00:04:53,558
Especially your reference.
144
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:54,826
Just give 'em a call right now.
145
00:04:54,894 --> 00:04:56,194
But we weren't taking any chances.
146
00:04:56,261 --> 00:04:58,162
The fix was in.
147
00:04:58,230 --> 00:05:01,332
Trump tower, this is Donald.
148
00:05:01,399 --> 00:05:02,900
Well, he can deep-fry
the hell out of chicken.
149
00:05:02,967 --> 00:05:04,234
I can tell you that.
150
00:05:04,302 --> 00:05:05,702
Troy even applied for the same job
151
00:05:05,770 --> 00:05:06,903
and gave the world's worst interview
152
00:05:06,971 --> 00:05:08,938
just to make me look better.
153
00:05:09,006 --> 00:05:10,373
And that was that.
154
00:05:10,441 --> 00:05:12,542
This was the glorious time.
155
00:05:12,609 --> 00:05:14,143
No more racing to the cafeteria.
156
00:05:14,210 --> 00:05:15,444
No more lines.
157
00:05:15,512 --> 00:05:16,845
To us, lines were for suckers,
158
00:05:16,913 --> 00:05:18,613
hacks, sheep.
159
00:05:18,681 --> 00:05:20,848
We were wolves.
160
00:05:20,916 --> 00:05:24,552
And we had the chicken to prove it.
161
00:05:24,619 --> 00:05:26,053
- Oh.
- Ooh.
162
00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:27,454
To victory.
163
00:05:27,522 --> 00:05:29,022
It feels unfamiliar,
164
00:05:29,090 --> 00:05:30,523
but it tastes like chicken.
165
00:05:30,591 --> 00:05:34,060
Mm-hmm.
166
00:05:34,127 --> 00:05:35,461
Hi.
167
00:05:35,529 --> 00:05:37,430
- Hello.
- You guys are lucky.
168
00:05:37,498 --> 00:05:38,464
They're always running out.
169
00:05:38,532 --> 00:05:40,099
Would you like one?
170
00:05:40,167 --> 00:05:43,069
Name's Shirley. Memorize it.
171
00:05:43,137 --> 00:05:44,570
I will, Shirley.
172
00:05:44,638 --> 00:05:45,571
Eee!
173
00:05:45,639 --> 00:05:46,706
See that, ladies?
174
00:05:46,774 --> 00:05:48,908
The universe goes by supply and demand.
175
00:05:48,975 --> 00:05:51,877
The more you take and use,
the more it sends.
176
00:05:51,945 --> 00:05:53,245
Somebody's been taking a little extra.
177
00:05:53,313 --> 00:05:54,380
What's in that container?
178
00:05:54,448 --> 00:05:55,448
- Eight fingers.
- Abed.
179
00:05:55,515 --> 00:05:58,617
Abed's study group.
180
00:05:58,685 --> 00:06:00,185
Why are you giving Chang chicken?
181
00:06:00,253 --> 00:06:01,319
We have an agreement.
182
00:06:01,387 --> 00:06:02,620
But, Abed, if you get caught skimming,
183
00:06:02,688 --> 00:06:04,889
you get fired and we all go
back to eating like Britta.
184
00:06:04,957 --> 00:06:07,224
Yeah, we put you in that job.
185
00:06:07,292 --> 00:06:09,993
I dressed like a crazy
pharaoh for you, man.
186
00:06:10,061 --> 00:06:12,128
You make the fingers,
Abed, not the decisions.
187
00:06:12,196 --> 00:06:13,129
I'm sorry.
188
00:06:13,196 --> 00:06:14,530
It's okay, buddy.
189
00:06:14,598 --> 00:06:16,732
But just remember
these things have power.
190
00:06:16,800 --> 00:06:17,967
So just let me know next time
191
00:06:18,034 --> 00:06:20,436
you have any more
agreements, all right?
192
00:06:20,504 --> 00:06:22,572
Yeah, I agreed to give Chang
eight fingers per lunch
193
00:06:22,640 --> 00:06:24,574
in exchange for a 10%
bump on every Spanish test
194
00:06:24,642 --> 00:06:25,842
for each of us.
195
00:06:25,910 --> 00:06:28,345
- Oh!
- Okay.
196
00:06:28,413 --> 00:06:29,947
Abed makes the fingers
and the decisions.
197
00:06:30,015 --> 00:06:31,482
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
198
00:06:35,054 --> 00:06:36,855
Oh, Abed, you're like the best.
199
00:06:39,527 --> 00:06:40,527
At Greendale, they were
always out of chicken fingers,
200
00:06:40,595 --> 00:06:42,495
so whoever could get them had power.
201
00:06:42,563 --> 00:06:44,030
Oh.
202
00:06:44,098 --> 00:06:45,164
And I was the guy in the apron,
203
00:06:45,232 --> 00:06:46,666
so I came up with a
system, and pretty soon
204
00:06:46,734 --> 00:06:47,834
half the chicken at Greendale
205
00:06:47,902 --> 00:06:50,570
was going out the side door.
206
00:06:50,637 --> 00:06:52,371
Everybody in our crew had a job.
207
00:06:52,438 --> 00:06:54,005
T-bone was the bag man.
208
00:06:54,073 --> 00:06:55,607
He'd move the fingers to a storeroom
209
00:06:55,675 --> 00:06:57,408
where two of the girls
did the packaging.
210
00:06:57,476 --> 00:06:59,544
We could trust them
not to eat the supply
211
00:06:59,612 --> 00:07:00,879
because Britta was a vegetarian
212
00:07:00,946 --> 00:07:02,580
and Shirley figured that if she stole,
213
00:07:02,648 --> 00:07:04,482
she'd go to hell.
214
00:07:04,549 --> 00:07:06,383
They'd hand the stuff
out the window to Annie.
215
00:07:06,451 --> 00:07:08,751
She was the leg man and the distributor.
216
00:07:08,819 --> 00:07:12,688
The crazy thing was... it was their food
217
00:07:12,755 --> 00:07:14,823
and we were stealing it
and giving it back to them
218
00:07:14,890 --> 00:07:17,157
like it was a big favor.
219
00:07:17,225 --> 00:07:19,893
Nobody asked any questions
because Pierce's experience
220
00:07:19,961 --> 00:07:21,460
as a CEO had taught him how
221
00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:23,196
to keep the wheels from squeaking.
222
00:07:23,263 --> 00:07:24,764
I had it all worked out on a schedule.
223
00:07:24,832 --> 00:07:26,865
You know, I've never
been fired from a job
224
00:07:26,933 --> 00:07:28,867
and this is, like, my perfect job.
225
00:07:28,934 --> 00:07:30,434
I'm Mr. Chicken fingers.
226
00:07:30,502 --> 00:07:32,303
The minute before you
thought about busting us,
227
00:07:32,371 --> 00:07:35,072
that was the minute you
had a chicken in your hand.
228
00:07:35,140 --> 00:07:36,840
Everyone had their hand out.
229
00:07:36,908 --> 00:07:39,476
- Everyone wanted what we had.
- Oh! Oh, well.
230
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:41,578
So we had anything we wanted.
231
00:07:41,645 --> 00:07:43,345
And Jeff had the most
important job of all.
232
00:07:43,413 --> 00:07:44,546
He was at the top.
233
00:07:44,614 --> 00:07:45,981
He was the boss.
234
00:07:46,048 --> 00:07:47,582
He was our leader.
235
00:07:47,650 --> 00:07:49,484
What the hell is going on?
236
00:07:49,551 --> 00:07:51,319
A/V kids hooked it up.
237
00:07:51,386 --> 00:07:52,687
Abed supplied the whole department
238
00:07:52,754 --> 00:07:53,753
with chicken fingers.
239
00:07:53,821 --> 00:07:54,920
You think that's good,
240
00:07:54,988 --> 00:07:56,821
check out my posse and Troy's monkey.
241
00:07:56,889 --> 00:07:59,456
Troy, why do you have a monkey?
242
00:07:59,524 --> 00:08:01,358
Uh, it's an animal
that looks like a dude.
243
00:08:01,426 --> 00:08:02,926
Why don't I have ten of them?
244
00:08:02,994 --> 00:08:06,596
Guys, look what Abed scored for me.
245
00:08:06,664 --> 00:08:07,731
Ooh.
246
00:08:07,798 --> 00:08:09,064
It has a million zippers
247
00:08:09,132 --> 00:08:10,365
and it was free.
248
00:08:14,370 --> 00:08:15,837
- Oh.
- Ooh, robot.
249
00:08:15,904 --> 00:08:17,371
I am a robot.
250
00:08:17,439 --> 00:08:19,907
I am programmed to love this backpack.
251
00:08:19,974 --> 00:08:20,974
This is insane.
252
00:08:21,041 --> 00:08:22,542
More insane than programming them
253
00:08:22,609 --> 00:08:24,277
to replace auto workers?
254
00:08:24,345 --> 00:08:26,011
What?
255
00:08:26,079 --> 00:08:29,848
Okay, okay, if you're not
in this study group, please.
256
00:08:29,915 --> 00:08:31,115
No, no.
257
00:08:31,182 --> 00:08:32,750
That means you, sexy dreadlocks,
258
00:08:32,817 --> 00:08:34,284
- Britta's hairdresser...
- What?
259
00:08:34,352 --> 00:08:36,152
Pierce's hackneyed entourage.
260
00:08:36,220 --> 00:08:37,753
Hackneyed?
261
00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:38,854
You see the turban guy?
262
00:08:38,922 --> 00:08:40,556
Yes, in a '90s ski movie
263
00:08:40,624 --> 00:08:42,725
that featured an entourage.
264
00:08:42,792 --> 00:08:44,426
Don't you guys think this
is getting out of hand?
265
00:08:44,494 --> 00:08:45,627
Oh, we're not gonna get caught.
266
00:08:45,695 --> 00:08:47,195
We have campus security on the take.
267
00:08:47,263 --> 00:08:48,630
Abed's got it all figured out.
268
00:08:48,697 --> 00:08:50,765
- Mm-hmm.
- Well, that's a relief.
269
00:08:50,833 --> 00:08:52,300
Yeah, it's pretty cool being friends
270
00:08:52,367 --> 00:08:54,068
with the biggest man on campus.
271
00:08:54,136 --> 00:08:55,370
Isn't that right, Annie's Boobs?
272
00:08:56,505 --> 00:08:58,106
Please rename that thing!
273
00:08:58,174 --> 00:09:00,141
And this time, not with
a contest on Twitter.
274
00:09:00,209 --> 00:09:01,309
It's his Twitter account.
275
00:09:01,377 --> 00:09:02,577
He can do what he wants.
276
00:09:02,645 --> 00:09:03,979
They are my body parts!
277
00:09:04,047 --> 00:09:05,080
I do not consent to this!
278
00:09:05,148 --> 00:09:06,815
You know what I don't appreciate?
279
00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:11,153
I wouldn't threaten a monkey.
280
00:09:11,221 --> 00:09:14,124
They have more lactic acid than us.
281
00:09:14,191 --> 00:09:15,858
Shared my chicken with him.
282
00:09:15,926 --> 00:09:16,992
- Talk to the backpack.
- I told you!
283
00:09:17,060 --> 00:09:18,294
You're the worst, Annie.
284
00:09:18,362 --> 00:09:19,762
Streets ahead!
285
00:09:27,903 --> 00:09:29,571
Line starts behind you.
286
00:09:29,638 --> 00:09:31,339
Oh, he's cool.
287
00:09:31,407 --> 00:09:33,607
Six fingers every Wednesday.
288
00:09:33,675 --> 00:09:35,108
Cool. And what can you offer?
289
00:09:35,176 --> 00:09:38,379
I have a bicycle and
I teach Beginner's Tennis.
290
00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:39,814
Cool. Okay.
291
00:09:39,881 --> 00:09:42,016
Six fingers Wednesdays.
292
00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:43,917
All right.
293
00:09:43,985 --> 00:09:45,285
We'll be in touch, Janel.
294
00:09:45,353 --> 00:09:48,389
- Thank you, Abed.
- You're welcome.
295
00:09:48,457 --> 00:09:50,358
- Hey, Jeff.
- Hey, buddy.
296
00:09:50,426 --> 00:09:51,860
It's quite a setup you got here.
297
00:09:51,927 --> 00:09:54,495
Yeah, I'm pretty excited about it.
298
00:09:54,563 --> 00:09:55,930
It turns out everyone has needs
299
00:09:55,997 --> 00:09:57,898
and everyone has functions.
300
00:09:57,966 --> 00:09:59,933
Look, um, I've been thinking
301
00:10:00,001 --> 00:10:01,802
maybe I need to hit the big red button
302
00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:04,471
and bring an end to this operation.
303
00:10:04,539 --> 00:10:07,674
I mean, it's been fun,
but it's out of control now.
304
00:10:07,742 --> 00:10:09,375
- Am I right?
- I don't know.
305
00:10:09,443 --> 00:10:11,310
The entire campus is
controlled by our group,
306
00:10:11,378 --> 00:10:12,778
our group is controlled by chicken,
307
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:15,247
and the chicken is controlled by me.
308
00:10:15,315 --> 00:10:16,282
Float?
309
00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:17,617
I'm good.
310
00:10:17,684 --> 00:10:20,087
Abed, the mafia movie is over.
311
00:10:20,154 --> 00:10:21,722
I'm not doing a mafia movie.
312
00:10:21,789 --> 00:10:23,324
In fact, I don't need to use movies
313
00:10:23,392 --> 00:10:25,226
or TV shows to talk to people anymore.
314
00:10:25,294 --> 00:10:27,128
Before, I only needed them
because the day-to-day world
315
00:10:27,196 --> 00:10:28,730
made no sense to me, but now,
316
00:10:28,798 --> 00:10:30,231
everyone's speaking the same language.
317
00:10:30,299 --> 00:10:31,500
Chicken.
318
00:10:31,567 --> 00:10:33,469
I understand people and
they finally understand me.
319
00:10:33,536 --> 00:10:36,038
Abed, eventually people are
gonna get tired of chicken.
320
00:10:36,105 --> 00:10:37,105
I'm tired of chicken.
321
00:10:37,173 --> 00:10:38,173
You're not tired of chicken.
322
00:10:38,241 --> 00:10:39,474
You miss the taste of control.
323
00:10:41,276 --> 00:10:42,743
Well, that's crazy.
324
00:10:42,810 --> 00:10:45,646
Is it?
325
00:10:48,850 --> 00:10:50,550
Unfortunately, the very
thing that drove you
326
00:10:50,618 --> 00:10:51,985
to this dorm room is
what would prevent you
327
00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,453
from properly running this machine
328
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:54,654
or even being a cog in it.
329
00:10:54,722 --> 00:10:55,955
Your ego.
330
00:10:56,023 --> 00:10:58,791
Well...
331
00:10:58,859 --> 00:11:00,560
I see. I see.
332
00:11:00,628 --> 00:11:04,198
This has been about me the whole time.
333
00:11:04,265 --> 00:11:07,601
You want a shot at
the Jeff Winger throne?
334
00:11:07,669 --> 00:11:10,339
You better bring a powerful ass.
335
00:11:10,407 --> 00:11:12,941
Oh, and for your information,
I don't have an ego.
336
00:11:13,009 --> 00:11:15,811
My Facebook photo is a landscape.
337
00:11:20,918 --> 00:11:23,820
You're the best, Eduardo.
338
00:11:23,888 --> 00:11:25,288
Thank you all for coming.
339
00:11:25,356 --> 00:11:26,623
Can we make this quick?
340
00:11:26,691 --> 00:11:28,558
I need to give a banana
to Annie's Boobs.
341
00:11:28,626 --> 00:11:30,327
Abed is drunk with chicken power.
342
00:11:30,395 --> 00:11:33,330
He's gone from lovable
Johnny Five to Evil Hal.
343
00:11:33,398 --> 00:11:34,998
- Hal Holb...
- Not Hal Holbrook.
344
00:11:35,066 --> 00:11:36,033
What are you saying?
345
00:11:36,101 --> 00:11:38,469
You all have to stop working for him.
346
00:11:38,537 --> 00:11:40,204
Let this operation dry up
347
00:11:40,272 --> 00:11:42,173
and let his wheels spin down.
348
00:11:42,241 --> 00:11:45,077
At which point you would
be in charge again, right?
349
00:11:45,145 --> 00:11:46,979
- What?
- This is so sad.
350
00:11:47,047 --> 00:11:49,516
You're jealous of Abed
because he's providing for us.
351
00:11:49,583 --> 00:11:50,650
Mm-hmm.
352
00:11:50,718 --> 00:11:52,052
No, I'm concerned about Abed
353
00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:53,454
because he won't listen to reason.
354
00:11:53,522 --> 00:11:54,990
Won't listen to your reason.
355
00:11:55,058 --> 00:11:56,091
Mm-hmm.
356
00:11:56,159 --> 00:11:57,893
Why should he? Jeff's so not...
357
00:11:57,960 --> 00:11:59,828
Say "Streets ahead" and die.
358
00:11:59,896 --> 00:12:02,430
Streets ahead.
359
00:12:03,666 --> 00:12:04,699
You want to boss me around?
360
00:12:04,767 --> 00:12:05,700
Get me an entourage.
361
00:12:05,767 --> 00:12:06,900
Get Troy a monkey.
362
00:12:06,968 --> 00:12:08,235
That's what a real boss does.
363
00:12:08,303 --> 00:12:09,503
Yes.
364
00:12:09,571 --> 00:12:10,571
We probably shouldn't
even be talking to him
365
00:12:10,638 --> 00:12:11,571
without checking with Abed.
366
00:12:11,639 --> 00:12:12,939
I'm already trying him.
367
00:12:13,007 --> 00:12:14,674
He's not picking up.
What did you do with him?
368
00:12:14,742 --> 00:12:16,442
I don't believe what greedy sellouts
369
00:12:16,510 --> 00:12:18,344
you people turned out to be.
370
00:12:18,411 --> 00:12:19,712
I'm not gonna stand here
and be ignored.
371
00:12:19,780 --> 00:12:21,046
Shh! Voicemail.
372
00:12:21,114 --> 00:12:22,214
Hey, Abed.
373
00:12:22,282 --> 00:12:23,882
Jeff says you're not listening to him.
374
00:12:23,950 --> 00:12:25,684
Does that mean we shouldn't
listen to him either?
375
00:12:25,752 --> 00:12:28,119
Oh, also, should we make special jackets
376
00:12:28,187 --> 00:12:29,721
for our crime family?
377
00:12:29,789 --> 00:12:32,057
Like, blazers with
chicken finger patches.
378
00:12:32,124 --> 00:12:33,892
I don't know. Long message.
I'm sorry.
379
00:12:33,959 --> 00:12:35,226
That's it!
380
00:12:35,294 --> 00:12:36,594
- Ooh!
- Abed!
381
00:12:38,163 --> 00:12:39,963
Look, I'm walking out
this door right now.
382
00:12:40,031 --> 00:12:41,565
- Okay.
- Okay.
383
00:12:41,632 --> 00:12:43,099
- For real.
- Good.
384
00:12:43,167 --> 00:12:45,234
- I'm not gonna look back.
- Mm-hmm.
385
00:12:45,302 --> 00:12:47,136
- Good-bye.
- Good-bye!
386
00:12:47,204 --> 00:12:48,304
Abed!
387
00:12:48,372 --> 00:12:49,739
- Hi!
- Yes!
388
00:12:49,807 --> 00:12:50,907
Anybody need anything?
389
00:12:50,975 --> 00:12:52,742
Oh, everything.
You look handsome.
390
00:12:52,810 --> 00:12:55,478
I like everything about you now, Abed.
391
00:12:55,546 --> 00:12:57,980
I want a new hairdresser though.
392
00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:22,117
Yeah, I got you fired.
393
00:13:22,184 --> 00:13:23,618
You deserved it.
394
00:13:23,686 --> 00:13:26,454
Maybe. Maybe not.
395
00:13:26,522 --> 00:13:30,725
The question is, "What do they deserve?"
396
00:13:36,333 --> 00:13:37,666
Key to the kitchen.
397
00:13:37,734 --> 00:13:40,336
There's a valve on the
back of the chicken fryer
398
00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:42,304
that's not made anymore.
399
00:13:42,372 --> 00:13:45,741
Now, say someone were to remove it.
400
00:13:45,809 --> 00:13:49,212
The fryer wouldn't work...
401
00:13:49,279 --> 00:13:51,013
forever.
402
00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:54,416
How petty do you think I am?
403
00:13:58,154 --> 00:14:01,122
Jeff leaving the family didn't
turn out to be a problem.
404
00:14:01,190 --> 00:14:03,659
Okay, I think we're set for the quiz.
405
00:14:03,726 --> 00:14:05,093
- Yep.
- See you guys in class.
406
00:14:05,161 --> 00:14:06,395
Oh, wait. Before you go.
407
00:14:06,463 --> 00:14:08,331
- Oh, free notebooks.
- Here.
408
00:14:08,398 --> 00:14:11,868
But the family's success
started to go to their heads.
409
00:14:11,936 --> 00:14:13,503
They didn't have college ruled?
410
00:14:13,571 --> 00:14:14,671
No, sorry.
411
00:14:14,739 --> 00:14:16,740
It's okay.
412
00:14:21,212 --> 00:14:23,113
- Abed?
- Yeah?
413
00:14:23,181 --> 00:14:24,314
Can I talk to you for a minute?
414
00:14:24,382 --> 00:14:25,316
Sure.
415
00:14:25,383 --> 00:14:27,084
We have a situation.
416
00:14:27,152 --> 00:14:28,819
- Hey.
- Who is this?
417
00:14:28,887 --> 00:14:30,254
It's Travis.
418
00:14:30,322 --> 00:14:32,122
You said you wanted someone
in your entourage named Travis.
419
00:14:32,190 --> 00:14:35,292
Show him your license.
420
00:14:35,359 --> 00:14:37,027
Travis is his middle name.
421
00:14:37,095 --> 00:14:38,295
I go by Travis.
422
00:14:38,363 --> 00:14:39,596
No, you go by the door.
423
00:14:39,664 --> 00:14:42,466
See you, Travis.
424
00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:46,070
Get it right next time.
425
00:14:46,138 --> 00:14:47,338
- Abed?
- Yep?
426
00:14:47,406 --> 00:14:49,407
No, no, no, no.
427
00:14:49,475 --> 00:14:55,246
My monkey hates this caviar.
428
00:14:55,314 --> 00:14:56,514
Troy, isn't that...
429
00:14:56,581 --> 00:14:59,684
They were spoiled, fat, lazy.
430
00:14:59,752 --> 00:15:01,352
I'd given them everything and somehow
431
00:15:01,420 --> 00:15:03,321
I'd lost their respect.
432
00:15:03,389 --> 00:15:05,190
So I did the only
thing I could think of.
433
00:15:05,257 --> 00:15:06,991
I did what I thought Jeff would do.
434
00:15:07,059 --> 00:15:09,561
I sent them a message.
435
00:15:20,172 --> 00:15:21,472
What is that?
436
00:15:21,539 --> 00:15:23,741
I think it might be a backpack
437
00:15:23,808 --> 00:15:26,443
that's been mutilated.
438
00:16:04,381 --> 00:16:06,849
These were the bad times.
439
00:16:10,887 --> 00:16:12,121
- There he is.
- Jeff.
440
00:16:12,188 --> 00:16:13,422
- Jeff!
- Jeff!
441
00:16:13,489 --> 00:16:14,556
- Jeff!
- Jeff!
442
00:16:14,624 --> 00:16:16,057
Abed killed my backpack.
443
00:16:16,125 --> 00:16:17,458
And I caught him stuffing my man
444
00:16:17,526 --> 00:16:19,393
full of chicken and Tyler Perry
has a whole series of movies
445
00:16:19,460 --> 00:16:20,627
about why that's wrong.
446
00:16:20,695 --> 00:16:22,496
That little Arab is off his rocker.
447
00:16:22,564 --> 00:16:23,965
He released Annie's Boobs.
448
00:16:24,032 --> 00:16:25,366
Annie's Boobs could be anywhere.
449
00:16:25,434 --> 00:16:26,601
Annie's Boobs could be
on the side of the road.
450
00:16:26,669 --> 00:16:27,869
We got it.
451
00:16:27,937 --> 00:16:28,937
The monkey's name is "Annie's Boobs".
452
00:16:29,005 --> 00:16:31,106
Look what Abed did to my hair.
453
00:16:31,174 --> 00:16:33,609
I feel terrible for all of you.
454
00:16:33,677 --> 00:16:35,745
Wait, no, I don't, because I warned you
455
00:16:35,813 --> 00:16:37,580
about all this, but you were so high
456
00:16:37,648 --> 00:16:39,282
on your backpacks and hairstyles
457
00:16:39,349 --> 00:16:41,350
you accused me of being jealous.
458
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,152
You were right. But what can we do?
459
00:16:43,220 --> 00:16:45,955
I'm sorry, you brushed
over that first part.
460
00:16:46,023 --> 00:16:48,591
Together.
461
00:16:48,659 --> 00:16:50,693
You were right.
462
00:16:50,761 --> 00:16:51,994
Now what you can do is go home
463
00:16:52,062 --> 00:16:54,129
and write that on your bathroom mirror.
464
00:16:54,197 --> 00:16:55,964
Wouldn't that make it
seem like I was right?
465
00:16:56,032 --> 00:16:58,000
Yeah, because it would be my mirror.
466
00:16:58,068 --> 00:17:00,002
It's not gonna be reversed
because you're the one who...
467
00:17:05,375 --> 00:17:08,277
As for Abed, for his sake
468
00:17:08,345 --> 00:17:10,780
I guess I'll have to take him out.
469
00:17:10,848 --> 00:17:11,982
Poor little guy.
470
00:17:12,050 --> 00:17:14,218
Oh, good. That's nice.
471
00:17:32,371 --> 00:17:34,872
Abed.
472
00:17:34,940 --> 00:17:36,207
What are you doing?
473
00:17:36,274 --> 00:17:38,575
Making tater tots.
474
00:17:38,643 --> 00:17:40,844
You were right, people
got sick of chicken.
475
00:17:40,912 --> 00:17:41,879
But I was close.
476
00:17:41,947 --> 00:17:43,548
I just need a new food, a new system.
477
00:17:43,615 --> 00:17:45,349
I'm gonna experiment
with jalapeno poppers next
478
00:17:45,417 --> 00:17:47,185
- and then zucchini zircles.
- I don't get it.
479
00:17:47,252 --> 00:17:48,587
It's not that complicated, Jeff.
480
00:17:48,654 --> 00:17:50,022
They replaced the "C" in
circle with a "Z" for zucchini.
481
00:17:50,089 --> 00:17:52,224
No, no, I mean, why are you here?
482
00:17:52,292 --> 00:17:54,627
You said you were close?
483
00:17:57,097 --> 00:17:59,199
What were you close to?
484
00:18:00,968 --> 00:18:03,937
To the group?
485
00:18:04,004 --> 00:18:05,272
To people?
486
00:18:05,339 --> 00:18:06,939
Please don't do a
special episode about me.
487
00:18:07,007 --> 00:18:08,374
Oh, I wouldn't dream of it.
488
00:18:10,510 --> 00:18:12,777
Everyone else needs my help.
489
00:18:12,845 --> 00:18:14,279
That's what people don't get,
490
00:18:14,346 --> 00:18:18,049
is that they need to get me.
491
00:18:18,117 --> 00:18:20,084
I just need to be able to connect
to people like you can,
492
00:18:20,151 --> 00:18:21,619
and then I can make everyone happy
493
00:18:21,686 --> 00:18:24,689
like you do.
494
00:18:26,826 --> 00:18:28,388
Do you know why I'm here?
495
00:18:28,456 --> 00:18:30,188
You got caught with a
fake Bachelor's Degree.
496
00:18:30,255 --> 00:18:31,522
By the way, they started using that
497
00:18:31,590 --> 00:18:32,856
as a seasonal arc on Law & Order.
498
00:18:32,924 --> 00:18:34,691
Total rip off.
499
00:18:34,759 --> 00:18:37,727
I'm here to dismantle the fryer,
500
00:18:37,795 --> 00:18:41,865
to cut your power off at its source.
501
00:18:41,932 --> 00:18:43,367
Don't you see what happened?
502
00:18:43,434 --> 00:18:44,701
I manipulated the group
503
00:18:44,769 --> 00:18:46,135
into getting you the fry cook job
504
00:18:46,203 --> 00:18:48,571
so I could have some chicken.
505
00:18:48,639 --> 00:18:51,741
And you turned it all into a
way to make everyone like you.
506
00:18:51,809 --> 00:18:52,943
Mm-hmm.
507
00:18:53,010 --> 00:18:55,312
Made me ashamed of myself.
508
00:18:55,379 --> 00:18:56,780
Made me jealous.
509
00:18:56,848 --> 00:18:58,448
Maybe this is a special episode.
510
00:18:58,516 --> 00:19:00,049
It's pretty alarming behavior, Jeff.
511
00:19:00,117 --> 00:19:01,383
Yeah.
512
00:19:01,451 --> 00:19:02,818
You know, there's
specialists you could talk to.
513
00:19:02,886 --> 00:19:04,286
Yeah, maybe I should do that.
514
00:19:04,354 --> 00:19:05,421
Mm-hmm.
515
00:19:05,488 --> 00:19:06,789
- In the meantime...
- Mm-hmm?
516
00:19:06,856 --> 00:19:07,956
Let's make a deal.
517
00:19:08,024 --> 00:19:10,358
I'll help you connect with people,
518
00:19:10,425 --> 00:19:12,426
and you help me do a
better job with them.
519
00:19:12,494 --> 00:19:14,161
Like Knight Rider.
520
00:19:14,229 --> 00:19:15,762
Exactly. Like Knight Rider.
521
00:19:15,830 --> 00:19:17,030
Deal.
522
00:19:17,098 --> 00:19:18,198
I'll put on a leather jacket
523
00:19:18,265 --> 00:19:19,499
and make out with an
aerobics instructor.
524
00:19:19,567 --> 00:19:21,000
you pull around front and comedically
525
00:19:21,068 --> 00:19:23,269
startle passersby with
your ability to talk.
526
00:19:23,337 --> 00:19:24,771
Maybe we should just stay here
527
00:19:24,838 --> 00:19:26,439
and have a plate of chicken fingers.
528
00:19:26,507 --> 00:19:28,208
Cool.
529
00:19:28,276 --> 00:19:29,843
Can we eat them
while sitting on a table
530
00:19:29,911 --> 00:19:30,944
like in Sixteen Candles?
531
00:19:31,012 --> 00:19:32,445
Pick one reference, Abed.
532
00:19:32,513 --> 00:19:34,181
Sixteen Candles.
533
00:19:34,248 --> 00:19:36,951
And just like that, the
mafia movie was over.
534
00:19:37,018 --> 00:19:38,552
I quit the fry cook job,
535
00:19:38,620 --> 00:19:40,654
somewhat for the sake of the family,
536
00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:43,390
but mostly for the sake of Jeff's ego.
537
00:19:43,458 --> 00:19:44,824
Poor guy.
538
00:19:44,892 --> 00:19:46,492
Things went back to normal.
539
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:49,328
Now everyone's back to being
a bunch of regular schnooks,
540
00:19:49,396 --> 00:19:51,730
and I'm back to being a weirdo,
541
00:19:51,798 --> 00:19:54,333
back to watching from the outside...
542
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:55,834
For now.
543
00:19:55,902 --> 00:19:57,436
There's still not
enough chicken fingers.
544
00:19:57,503 --> 00:20:00,105
- No way.
- What?
545
00:20:00,173 --> 00:20:01,640
'Cause as soon as our family moved out,
546
00:20:01,708 --> 00:20:04,009
a new syndicate moved
in to take its place.
547
00:20:04,077 --> 00:20:06,712
But you know what they'll
never make a replacement for?
548
00:20:08,482 --> 00:20:11,150
Friends.
549
00:20:11,218 --> 00:20:13,687
Okay, thank you. That's great, Abed.
550
00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:16,156
But could you just answer the question?
551
00:20:16,224 --> 00:20:17,659
What was it?
552
00:20:17,726 --> 00:20:19,160
Do you know who might have stolen
553
00:20:19,228 --> 00:20:20,828
a box of hairnets from the kitchen?
554
00:20:20,896 --> 00:20:22,363
Someone with hair.
555
00:20:22,431 --> 00:20:25,099
I'm gonna write that down.
556
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:33,698
Sync by YesCool www.MY-SUBS.
com www.iSubs.coil.us.to
557
00:20:33,699 --> 00:20:38,699
Corrected by icephoenix and by 4be1
www.MY-SUBS.com