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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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Hey. Haven't seen you all day.
2
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I've been really busy.
3
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Plus I had to find, like,
30 extra chairs for my classroom,
4
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Since it's family day.
5
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Oh, speaking of,
I was going to invite my mom
6
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So you could meet her,
7
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But, uh, she still
thinks I'm a lawyer.
8
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oh, look!
9
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The human being has a
little human with it--
10
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How blood curdlingly adorable.
11
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Jeff. We need to talk.
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What's wrong?
Are you breaking up with me?
13
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Oh.
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Maybe we don't need to talk.
15
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I'm so excited for
everybody to meet my sons.
16
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Hope they're not twins.
Twins freak me out.
17
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They always know what
the other one is--
18
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- Thinking?
- Yeah.
19
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And they're always
finishing each other's--
20
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- Pie.
- Exactly. It's creepy.
21
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It's gonna be nice
spending time with them.
22
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I don't get to see him that
much since I started school.
23
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My sister likes to joke that
they don't recognize me anymore,
24
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And I like to joke
that she's just jealous
25
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Because she's barren. - Mm.
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My dad's bringing my cousin abra.
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She's visiting from gaza.
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Does she look like you but
in a wig and lipstick?
29
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No, that's halle berry.
30
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Abra wears a full burka in public,
31
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So she just looks like someone
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Covered head to toe
in black fabric.
33
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Can't believe my grandma's
34
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Rolling her old bones down here.
35
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I gotta pick a cabinet to hide in.
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You hide from her?
37
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Yeah. She's crazy.
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Troy...
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Society programs us to
dispose of the elderly
40
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Because they don't
work or buy things.
41
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But don't be blind to
your grandmother's value.
42
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You need to cherish her.
43
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You cherish her.
44
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I'm sure I will.
45
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You know she's not gonna
be around forever.
46
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I wanna believe
you're right, britta.
47
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But you never quite are, are you?
48
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Sorry I'm late.
49
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Was somebody canoodling
with a certain professor?
50
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Actually, no. She dumped me.
51
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oh, no!
52
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That's so sad.
53
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I'll give jeff a
shoulder to cry on,
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And you boys go put a dead bird
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In that bitch's glove compartment.
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- Got it.
- Guys.
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Guys, sit.
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Shirley, I don't need to cry,
I'm fine.
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Jeff, we're your friends.
Let it all out.
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There's nothing to let out.
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I'm just glad I didn't
have to do the dumping.
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I mean, then I'd have to
lay low for three weeks
63
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To look sensitive and to
avoid questions of overlap.
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But as the dumpee...
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I can start making out with
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Every girl on campus right now.
67
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And all anyone will
feel for me is sorry.
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Ew! Not anymore.
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Your heart's desensitized, jeff.
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Like a machine,
it feels no love--just sex.
71
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You're like the booty-nator.
72
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You know, the booty-nator--
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Like, "I'll be back,
" but with booty?
74
00:02:08,609 --> 00:02:10,411
Why would the booty-nator
be back with booty?
75
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Wouldn't he just try and kill it?
76
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Well, maybe he kills it and
then brings it back as a trophy.
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- Why would you want dead booty?
- I want pirate's booty.
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- Because you're hungry?
- Guys...
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I'll be back.
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But with booty. All: Ooh!
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- Jeff.
- Nice.
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- That's beneath you.
- Gross.
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Well, you're too
gorgeous to be a teacher,
84
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And you're too happy
to be a student.
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Take me to where
your car broke down.
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I'm here for family day.
87
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I'm looking for my family.
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Oh, well, I'm sure
at the very least
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I can fill in for a creepy uncle.
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Jeff. - Amber.
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- There she is!
- Hey.
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Look at you, all grown up.
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Jeff, this is my
stepdaughter, amber.
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- Small world.
- No, actually,
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It's a very big world
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With five billion
other women in it.
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good luck.
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Come on, I'll show you around.
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I'm back.
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- Without booty.
- Now I feel sorry for you.
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Sync by honeybunny
www.MY-SUBS.com
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♪ I can't count the reasons ♪
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♪ I should stay ♪
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- Hands in the air!
- Homeland security!
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Boys, leave that man alone.
106
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- Orange alert!
- Sorry, they're just excited.
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You're abed's father? I'm shirley.
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And that's elijah,
like the prophet,
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And jordan, like the
14 time nba all-star.
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- Gubi nadir.
- Is that how you say hello?
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That's my name.
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Oh!
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I'm sorry. You're
like a black ghost.
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This is my cousin. Abra.
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Greetings.
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Over the course of seven marriages,
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I've amassed some 32 stepchildren.
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And obviously, amber's my favorite.
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Yeah, there was something
about his mass emails
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That made me certain this
would be a family reunion.
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Sure is, sweetie.
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She's going to photography school.
123
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- Oh, that sounds interesting.
- Keep it in your pants, winger.
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You're embarrassing yourself.
125
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She may be hot,
but she's my princess.
126
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Step-princess.
127
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Okay. Family day.
128
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Let's see what we got here.
129
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Wow, I can't believe
star-burns isn't a virgin.
130
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But judging from that
bluetooth headset, his son is.
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Cha-ching!
132
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Winger. Too cool for family?
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Everyone here is my family.
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weak.
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Where's your family, el tigre?
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Ugh, my older brother
will be at the barbeque.
137
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And it's none of your business,
but I ate my twin in utero.
138
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Oh.
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Eh, phantom menace,
140
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How's the trade embargo
with the naboo?
141
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Anyways, ah...
142
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Looks like pierce
broke the piggy bank
143
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At the escort service this time.
144
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Hey! Duck sauce, that was rude.
145
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The call girls I frequent
are not nearly as attractive
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As my daughter.
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Stepdaughter.
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Technically ex-stepdaughter.
149
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You know, your mother April...
150
00:05:03,598 --> 00:05:04,765
Wanda. Her name's wanda.
151
00:05:04,832 --> 00:05:06,032
Was it wanda? Yes.
152
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Hold on one second. Excuse me.
153
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Jeff, jeffrey.
154
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The cards are on the table, jeff.
155
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Amber's the best
shot I'll ever have
156
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At something like a real daughter
157
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And I'm striking out.
158
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Have you told her she's
prettier than a hooker?
159
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If you come to the barbeque--
160
00:05:23,281 --> 00:05:25,115
And I know you'd never
think of touching her--
161
00:05:25,182 --> 00:05:28,751
Maybe you could say a couple
of cool things about me.
162
00:05:28,819 --> 00:05:32,421
You want me to wingman you
with your ex-stepdaughter?
163
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I'm sorry. I got a thing.
164
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You have a thing?
165
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Yeah, and it's on the rebound.
166
00:05:39,628 --> 00:05:40,861
I'm not subjecting it to a night
167
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With a hot girl that I can't have.
168
00:05:42,263 --> 00:05:44,130
You can't holster it for a friend?
169
00:05:44,198 --> 00:05:46,232
Please, pierce is barely a friend,
170
00:05:46,299 --> 00:05:48,266
And he's no more related
to amber than you are,
171
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And he was a total jag
about shutting me down.
172
00:05:50,369 --> 00:05:52,603
- How much effort do I rate?
- For you?
173
00:05:52,670 --> 00:05:55,771
Um, I'd break a light sweat.
174
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Good, I need a favor.
175
00:05:57,340 --> 00:05:59,140
Help pierce with his stepdaughter?
176
00:05:59,207 --> 00:06:01,808
You're becoming dangerous, annie.
177
00:06:01,876 --> 00:06:03,276
It's those doe eyes.
178
00:06:03,344 --> 00:06:04,543
Disappointing you is like
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00:06:04,611 --> 00:06:06,778
Choking the little mermaid
with a bike chain.
180
00:06:06,846 --> 00:06:09,513
Mm.
181
00:06:09,581 --> 00:06:12,849
is this nana barnes?
182
00:06:12,916 --> 00:06:15,117
Troy didn't mention you
were such a knockout.
183
00:06:15,184 --> 00:06:17,085
- What's that supposed to mean?
- Oh...
184
00:06:17,153 --> 00:06:19,687
Come on, I'm sure you've broken
a few hearts in your time.
185
00:06:19,755 --> 00:06:21,088
Oh.
186
00:06:21,156 --> 00:06:24,858
Tell me, how many men do
you think I've laid with?
187
00:06:26,760 --> 00:06:29,229
- Who are you?
- I am britta.
188
00:06:29,297 --> 00:06:31,099
And I have offended you.
189
00:06:31,167 --> 00:06:34,306
And I am sorry. Is there
anything I can get you?
190
00:06:34,374 --> 00:06:35,709
Yes.
191
00:06:35,776 --> 00:06:37,911
You can get me a switch.
A what now?
192
00:06:37,979 --> 00:06:39,946
She's not family, nana.
193
00:06:40,014 --> 00:06:41,414
You can't make her
get you a switch.
194
00:06:41,482 --> 00:06:44,617
She can make me get it,
I just have to know what it is.
195
00:06:44,684 --> 00:06:47,319
A switch is a stick she
can use to whup you with.
196
00:06:50,456 --> 00:06:53,724
Cherish, britta. Cherish.
197
00:06:55,193 --> 00:06:57,061
Well, it was wonderful
meeting your brother.
198
00:06:57,128 --> 00:07:00,263
Adios, señor chang.
Shalom, rabbi chang.
199
00:07:00,330 --> 00:07:01,998
And to both of you, sayonara.
200
00:07:02,065 --> 00:07:04,133
Right?
201
00:07:04,200 --> 00:07:05,867
Don't go.
202
00:07:05,935 --> 00:07:08,670
- Señor chang?
- Yeah.
203
00:07:08,737 --> 00:07:10,637
Ben, do you realize how
ridiculous that sounds?
204
00:07:10,705 --> 00:07:12,805
Okay, that is who I am.
205
00:07:12,873 --> 00:07:14,340
So drop it! - I'm dropping.
206
00:07:14,408 --> 00:07:15,475
I'm dropping!
207
00:07:15,543 --> 00:07:16,976
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
208
00:07:17,044 --> 00:07:19,579
Amber alert, you are
allergic to peanuts.
209
00:07:19,647 --> 00:07:21,848
That might be a different stepkid.
210
00:07:21,915 --> 00:07:23,515
My flight actually leaves,
so let's--
211
00:07:23,583 --> 00:07:27,352
Your flight actually leaves
after I tell you a story
212
00:07:27,420 --> 00:07:30,388
Called "pierce takes
on the school bully."
213
00:07:30,456 --> 00:07:33,224
Oh.
214
00:07:33,292 --> 00:07:35,659
- Are you a ninja?
- Oh, baby.
215
00:07:35,727 --> 00:07:36,760
Don't be rude.
216
00:07:36,828 --> 00:07:38,095
Oh, she's wearing a burka.
217
00:07:38,163 --> 00:07:39,930
It's a way for women to
express their modesty.
218
00:07:39,998 --> 00:07:41,131
They're like islamic turtlenecks.
219
00:07:41,199 --> 00:07:42,866
Ask her if she wants
to play with us.
220
00:07:51,140 --> 00:07:52,140
...Bouncy house.
221
00:07:57,679 --> 00:07:58,879
That sounds heated.
222
00:07:58,947 --> 00:08:00,614
Did she call him a pig's
anus or something?
223
00:08:02,250 --> 00:08:04,952
She's saying she's old enough
to jump in a giant balloon.
224
00:08:06,654 --> 00:08:11,390
She's saying he's overprotective.
225
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:12,624
Now she says he's a pig anus.
226
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,559
Mm, that fight made
me crave a hot dog.
227
00:08:14,627 --> 00:08:16,895
Stay put, boys. I'll be back.
228
00:08:16,963 --> 00:08:18,396
Hey, give me.
229
00:08:18,464 --> 00:08:20,265
Agh!
230
00:08:20,332 --> 00:08:23,167
Hey. You are a bad mother.
231
00:08:23,235 --> 00:08:24,902
Control your children.
232
00:08:24,970 --> 00:08:28,606
I have to go back to my car
and get my emergency shirt.
233
00:08:28,673 --> 00:08:31,875
And I don't even like that shirt!
234
00:08:31,943 --> 00:08:33,443
Not only did he join a band,
235
00:08:33,511 --> 00:08:34,911
They got jealous and booted him.
236
00:08:34,979 --> 00:08:36,546
Get out.
237
00:08:36,613 --> 00:08:38,581
That's exactly what they said.
238
00:08:38,649 --> 00:08:42,851
Off to the bathroom. Stepdad.
239
00:08:42,919 --> 00:08:44,319
I've never been called "stepdad."
240
00:08:44,387 --> 00:08:45,787
I don't think anyone has.
241
00:08:45,855 --> 00:08:47,789
Listen, when she gets back...
242
00:08:47,856 --> 00:08:49,857
Come up with some reason why
you have to leave, okay?
243
00:08:49,925 --> 00:08:51,525
And I'll beg you to stay,
but you don't.
244
00:08:51,593 --> 00:08:52,993
In fact, why don't
you just leave now
245
00:08:53,061 --> 00:08:54,027
And cut our work in half?
246
00:08:54,095 --> 00:08:56,329
Good luck, buddy.
247
00:09:03,603 --> 00:09:04,903
You're leaving.
248
00:09:04,971 --> 00:09:08,272
My...Girlfriend... Is pregnant.
249
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:09,606
Pierce said you were gay.
250
00:09:09,674 --> 00:09:13,109
He-- yep, as the sunrise.
251
00:09:13,177 --> 00:09:14,477
And I'm deeply ashamed.
252
00:09:14,545 --> 00:09:16,612
I'm just glad I have friends
like pierce to keep--
253
00:09:20,383 --> 00:09:22,217
Honest.
254
00:09:26,959 --> 00:09:28,292
This is slightly wrong.
255
00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:30,325
- Too much tongue?
- Oh, just enough.
256
00:09:30,393 --> 00:09:32,060
But it's pierce.
257
00:09:32,128 --> 00:09:34,062
You mean the guy who
decided he doesn't want men
258
00:09:34,129 --> 00:09:35,429
Touching his ex-stepdaughter,
259
00:09:35,497 --> 00:09:37,364
But divorced my mom
for our housekeeper?
260
00:09:37,432 --> 00:09:39,399
Could be the same guy, yeah.
261
00:09:39,467 --> 00:09:43,903
Amber? Amber, there you are.
262
00:09:43,971 --> 00:09:45,070
Why are you here, jeff?
263
00:09:45,138 --> 00:09:46,338
I go to school here, remember?
264
00:09:47,807 --> 00:09:50,574
There's a pictionary tournament
in the student lounge.
265
00:09:50,642 --> 00:09:52,343
Sounds fun. Is jeff joining us?
266
00:09:52,410 --> 00:09:54,177
I don't know if he can. Can you?
267
00:09:54,245 --> 00:09:55,545
- I can't.
- No, come on.
268
00:09:55,613 --> 00:09:56,613
Stay. - Stay.
269
00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:57,814
I can't.
270
00:09:57,882 --> 00:10:01,217
Maybe I shouldn't either.
271
00:10:01,285 --> 00:10:02,852
- Stay, would you?
- Do you think I should?
272
00:10:02,919 --> 00:10:04,053
I think you have to.
273
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,520
- I'll stay.
- Me too.
274
00:10:05,588 --> 00:10:07,822
oh, good, family day.
275
00:10:10,959 --> 00:10:12,460
No.
276
00:10:14,696 --> 00:10:15,863
- Whatcha doin'?
- Mm.
277
00:10:15,930 --> 00:10:18,198
Getting nana a switch.
278
00:10:18,266 --> 00:10:20,233
Britta, stop pretending that
279
00:10:20,301 --> 00:10:21,401
My mean old nana is awesome.
280
00:10:21,468 --> 00:10:23,002
I'm not pretending.
281
00:10:23,070 --> 00:10:24,270
I think it's cool that
282
00:10:24,337 --> 00:10:25,904
She's got her own
style of discipline.
283
00:10:25,972 --> 00:10:27,873
Nana's old school.
284
00:10:27,940 --> 00:10:30,341
Yeah, my mom told me there'd
be white people that did this.
285
00:10:30,409 --> 00:10:32,777
With pocket watches,
and coffee grinders,
286
00:10:32,844 --> 00:10:34,511
And pretending to
be into steam boats.
287
00:10:34,579 --> 00:10:37,114
But let's get this straight.
288
00:10:37,182 --> 00:10:40,617
This is real life.
My nana's gonna whup you.
289
00:10:40,684 --> 00:10:43,719
Not unless I find her a switch.
290
00:10:47,089 --> 00:10:48,889
How about this?
291
00:10:48,957 --> 00:10:50,857
Yeah, that's a great
switch, britta.
292
00:10:50,925 --> 00:10:52,859
Very hip. It should hurt a lot.
293
00:10:52,926 --> 00:10:55,393
Where's elijah and jordan, abed?
294
00:10:55,461 --> 00:10:57,129
Oh, what a surprise
that you lost them.
295
00:10:57,196 --> 00:10:58,797
- They're playing hide 'n' seek.
- Where?
296
00:10:58,865 --> 00:11:00,298
I don't think that's how it works.
297
00:11:00,366 --> 00:11:01,699
Stop screwing around, abed.
298
00:11:01,767 --> 00:11:03,968
Hey, you want to yell at someone?
299
00:11:04,036 --> 00:11:06,470
Go find your crazy kids.
My boy's disciplined.
300
00:11:06,538 --> 00:11:08,472
It's not his job to-- - all right!
301
00:11:08,540 --> 00:11:10,740
You got me, gubi. I'm a bad mother.
302
00:11:10,808 --> 00:11:12,875
But at least I let my kids be kids,
303
00:11:12,943 --> 00:11:14,376
Instead of acting
like a jail warden.
304
00:11:14,444 --> 00:11:15,711
Ah, you don't like a burka.
305
00:11:15,778 --> 00:11:17,279
I'm not talking about the burka.
306
00:11:17,346 --> 00:11:19,848
I'm talking about her
never having any fun.
307
00:11:19,916 --> 00:11:22,616
Now abra, you look me in the eyes,
and you tell me...
308
00:11:23,717 --> 00:11:26,118
Um...
309
00:11:26,186 --> 00:11:27,419
I'm sorry.
310
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:28,920
I seem to have
forgotten the napkins.
311
00:11:28,988 --> 00:11:30,088
Do you mind?
312
00:11:30,156 --> 00:11:33,224
Fine. Now I'm the napkin man.
313
00:11:47,803 --> 00:11:49,237
Oh!
314
00:11:49,304 --> 00:11:51,005
Circle.
315
00:11:52,374 --> 00:11:53,507
Circle with a squiggly line.
316
00:11:53,575 --> 00:11:55,242
A squiggly line circle.
317
00:11:55,310 --> 00:11:56,910
You've--you did hear
me say "circle"?
318
00:11:58,746 --> 00:12:01,014
Smiling...Sideways vagina.
319
00:12:01,081 --> 00:12:03,515
- No.
- Happy...Sideways vagina.
320
00:12:03,583 --> 00:12:05,617
No.
321
00:12:05,685 --> 00:12:07,318
Happy face.
322
00:12:07,386 --> 00:12:08,619
And that's a clam?
323
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:09,653
"as happy as a clam."
324
00:12:09,721 --> 00:12:10,920
Yes!
325
00:12:10,988 --> 00:12:12,722
"as happy as a clam"? What a--
326
00:12:12,789 --> 00:12:14,489
Gay guess. Idiot.
327
00:12:14,557 --> 00:12:16,090
Pierce, you're up.
328
00:12:16,158 --> 00:12:18,892
Eat my dust, winger.
329
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:22,129
You do know we're on the same team?
330
00:12:22,197 --> 00:12:24,765
Go!
331
00:12:26,334 --> 00:12:29,335
All right, here we go, uh...
332
00:12:33,172 --> 00:12:35,539
Look, I don't, uh...
333
00:12:35,607 --> 00:12:37,842
Pierce, you have to add more.
You have to draw more.
334
00:12:41,479 --> 00:12:42,680
Stop.
335
00:12:42,747 --> 00:12:44,582
Stop circling the same thing.
336
00:12:44,650 --> 00:12:47,785
Well, guess something,
you girlfriendless geek!
337
00:12:47,853 --> 00:12:49,854
What are you drawing?
338
00:12:49,922 --> 00:12:51,323
You're supposed to know, stupid.
339
00:12:51,391 --> 00:12:53,660
Relax...
340
00:12:53,728 --> 00:12:55,931
I'll get this.
341
00:12:58,234 --> 00:12:59,701
I think they'll both drop charges,
342
00:12:59,769 --> 00:13:01,237
But we gotta take statements.
343
00:13:01,304 --> 00:13:02,338
It's gonna be a while.
344
00:13:02,405 --> 00:13:04,106
And I may just be a simple cop,
345
00:13:04,174 --> 00:13:05,641
But people need to know.
346
00:13:05,709 --> 00:13:07,242
This isn't gonna
stop until pictionary
347
00:13:07,310 --> 00:13:09,177
Bans the word "windmill."
348
00:13:09,245 --> 00:13:11,445
Pierce. We'll meet you at the gala.
349
00:13:11,513 --> 00:13:12,713
We're gonna go get some coffee.
350
00:13:12,781 --> 00:13:16,148
Is "coffee" code for sex?
351
00:13:16,216 --> 00:13:17,582
Is it?
352
00:13:17,650 --> 00:13:19,217
No.
353
00:13:19,284 --> 00:13:22,719
Nana, here's your switch.
354
00:13:22,787 --> 00:13:27,290
Bring it here.
355
00:13:27,358 --> 00:13:28,525
Oh, I'll make do.
356
00:13:28,593 --> 00:13:30,661
Okay. Let me have it.
357
00:13:30,729 --> 00:13:32,796
I ain't no nun. Bend over.
358
00:13:36,166 --> 00:13:38,668
Drop your pants and
get over my lap.
359
00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:41,303
all you have to do is walk away.
360
00:13:56,283 --> 00:13:59,219
What are you doing?
She's respecting her elders.
361
00:13:59,286 --> 00:14:01,221
See, troy, did you think
I was a hypocrite?
362
00:14:01,288 --> 00:14:02,589
That I wouldn't really-
363
00:14:02,656 --> 00:14:03,990
Okay, ow, that really--
364
00:14:04,058 --> 00:14:05,792
Whoo! Okay, that really--
365
00:14:08,896 --> 00:14:12,065
I don't understand you, britta.
366
00:14:12,133 --> 00:14:16,269
I don't understand you at all.
367
00:14:16,337 --> 00:14:19,572
You know what? Totally wrong room.
368
00:14:19,640 --> 00:14:20,874
Will you get the door? - Mm-hmm.
369
00:14:20,941 --> 00:14:24,310
she's had enough!
370
00:14:24,378 --> 00:14:26,379
she's had enough!
371
00:14:32,385 --> 00:14:35,186
Let's focus on you,
the forbidden fruit
372
00:14:35,254 --> 00:14:37,820
That is the ex-stepdaughter
of a casual acquaintance.
373
00:14:37,888 --> 00:14:39,821
Oh, oops. Don't wanna lose that.
374
00:14:41,923 --> 00:14:44,255
Why do you have a $25,
000 check from pierce?
375
00:14:44,323 --> 00:14:46,955
Tuition, for fashion school.
376
00:14:47,022 --> 00:14:48,255
Not photography school?
377
00:14:50,225 --> 00:14:52,292
Mm, you caught me.
378
00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:54,294
Uh, maybe I'll just buy a car.
379
00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:56,095
You just do that, huh?
380
00:14:56,163 --> 00:14:57,596
Well, it helps that
381
00:14:57,664 --> 00:14:59,265
He's kind of desperate and stupid.
382
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,632
Did you wanna be a
good person right now?
383
00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:03,702
Or did you wanna be with me?
384
00:15:08,211 --> 00:15:10,612
Oh, there you are.
Thanks a lot, pollyanna.
385
00:15:10,679 --> 00:15:12,913
You made me hang out with
pierce and his stepdaughter.
386
00:15:12,981 --> 00:15:15,448
She's grifting him. - She's what?
387
00:15:15,516 --> 00:15:17,183
She's taking a bunch
of money from him.
388
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:19,984
He thinks it's for school,
but it's for...Grifting.
389
00:15:20,052 --> 00:15:21,686
Did you tell him?
390
00:15:21,753 --> 00:15:23,554
it's not that simple.
391
00:15:23,621 --> 00:15:26,122
It's not?
392
00:15:26,190 --> 00:15:28,122
Oh, my--jeff!
393
00:15:28,189 --> 00:15:29,957
gross!
394
00:15:30,024 --> 00:15:32,125
You're gross! You did it with her?
395
00:15:32,193 --> 00:15:34,861
Yeah, but not twice.
I wanted to do it twice.
396
00:15:34,928 --> 00:15:37,563
That's gross!
You met her this morning,
397
00:15:37,630 --> 00:15:40,932
You're faster than some bacteria.
398
00:15:40,999 --> 00:15:42,900
Are you just doing this
because slater hurt you?
399
00:15:42,968 --> 00:15:44,669
What? No, I'm not hurt.
400
00:15:44,737 --> 00:15:46,004
And amber threw herself at me.
401
00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:47,505
Well, you still have to tell pierce
402
00:15:47,573 --> 00:15:49,740
She's taking advantage of him,
don't you?
403
00:15:49,808 --> 00:15:54,077
Well, when you think about it,
nobody's getting hurt.
404
00:15:54,145 --> 00:15:56,279
Pierce is getting a daughter,
amber's getting an allowance,
405
00:15:56,346 --> 00:15:58,280
I'm getting--well,
we already talked about it.
406
00:15:58,348 --> 00:15:59,948
But don't forget, this is pierce.
407
00:16:00,016 --> 00:16:02,217
He's a racist,
homophobic, old goof.
408
00:16:02,284 --> 00:16:03,718
He does bad stuff all the time.
409
00:16:03,786 --> 00:16:06,353
Well, it sounds like you've
got it all figured out.
410
00:16:06,420 --> 00:16:10,055
So why are you talking
to me about it?
411
00:16:10,123 --> 00:16:11,256
Because...
412
00:16:11,324 --> 00:16:13,959
You're...You know...
413
00:16:14,026 --> 00:16:15,727
- A decent person?
- Maybe.
414
00:16:15,795 --> 00:16:16,895
And you knew that
talking to me about it
415
00:16:16,962 --> 00:16:18,630
Would make you feel
like a bad friend?
416
00:16:18,697 --> 00:16:20,331
And you wanted to feel
like a bad friend,
417
00:16:20,399 --> 00:16:22,066
Because you wanna be a good friend?
418
00:16:22,134 --> 00:16:24,802
You really suck, you know that?
419
00:16:27,672 --> 00:16:30,373
mm-mm-mm-mm.
420
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:32,608
Go get you and your brother
some ding dongs and calm down.
421
00:16:32,676 --> 00:16:34,943
- 'sup?
- Oh, abed!
422
00:16:35,011 --> 00:16:36,445
Did your family take off? - Yeah.
423
00:16:36,513 --> 00:16:37,813
Thanks for distracting my dad
424
00:16:37,881 --> 00:16:39,281
While we helped abra
get back in her burka.
425
00:16:39,349 --> 00:16:41,216
Well, if a young lady wants
to go in the bouncy house,
426
00:16:41,284 --> 00:16:42,384
She should go.
427
00:16:42,451 --> 00:16:43,785
It was a noble thing you did.
428
00:16:43,852 --> 00:16:45,019
Oh, I didn't do it.
429
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,354
No, it was jordan
and elijah's idea.
430
00:16:46,421 --> 00:16:47,855
They're good kids.
431
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:49,923
If they weren't, they
wouldn't be able to help abra.
432
00:16:49,991 --> 00:16:52,292
I see why you were so
excited for me to meet them.
433
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:54,661
You should be proud of them.
You're a good mom.
434
00:16:54,728 --> 00:16:56,028
Oh, come on.
435
00:16:57,330 --> 00:16:58,330
Mm. - Hey, mom.
436
00:16:58,398 --> 00:16:59,464
Look what I got.
437
00:17:02,267 --> 00:17:03,501
Ding dongs are my favorite.
438
00:17:05,369 --> 00:17:08,271
pretty rough, huh?
439
00:17:08,339 --> 00:17:10,640
Mm, you were right.
Nana's a monster.
440
00:17:10,708 --> 00:17:12,308
What did you say?
441
00:17:12,376 --> 00:17:14,543
I said you were a monster, ma'am.
442
00:17:14,611 --> 00:17:18,680
And you said troy was right.
443
00:17:18,748 --> 00:17:19,847
Get me a switch.
444
00:17:19,915 --> 00:17:22,649
Okay.
445
00:17:26,253 --> 00:17:27,921
Hey, stranger.
446
00:17:27,988 --> 00:17:29,889
Wanna pick up where we left off
447
00:17:29,957 --> 00:17:32,025
After I log some time
with daddy warbucks?
448
00:17:32,093 --> 00:17:33,927
No, amber.
449
00:17:33,994 --> 00:17:35,661
I thought about it.
450
00:17:35,729 --> 00:17:37,630
And what I want is for you
to tear up that check,
451
00:17:37,697 --> 00:17:39,331
And go dance with your stepdad.
452
00:17:39,399 --> 00:17:42,066
Are you trying to get
me to cut you in?
453
00:17:42,134 --> 00:17:43,468
You don't have leverage.
454
00:17:43,535 --> 00:17:46,370
If I walk over there and
tell him everything,
455
00:17:46,438 --> 00:17:47,604
Guess who he'll forgive.
456
00:17:47,672 --> 00:17:49,072
You.
457
00:17:49,140 --> 00:17:51,374
But I'd rather be the bad guy
than watch you siphon him.
458
00:17:51,442 --> 00:17:52,708
How about this?
459
00:17:52,776 --> 00:17:55,410
I walk away,
and if the check clears
460
00:17:55,477 --> 00:17:58,279
I won't make problems for you.
I'll stay gone.
461
00:17:58,346 --> 00:18:00,147
Come back whenever you want.
462
00:18:00,215 --> 00:18:02,882
But be good to him when you do,
because I'll be around.
463
00:18:02,950 --> 00:18:04,684
And I'm his friend.
464
00:18:04,752 --> 00:18:07,720
And you can be his
stepdaughter...Or not.
465
00:18:10,790 --> 00:18:13,625
Yeah. I'll take the 25 grand.
466
00:18:13,693 --> 00:18:17,461
Over him, I'd take 25 cents.
467
00:18:17,529 --> 00:18:19,396
Bye.
468
00:18:22,068 --> 00:18:24,936
Oh, jeff.
469
00:18:25,003 --> 00:18:27,371
Have you seen amber? - Yeah.
470
00:18:27,438 --> 00:18:30,176
Listen, pierce,
I gotta tell you something.
471
00:18:30,244 --> 00:18:31,978
She's not coming, is she?
472
00:18:32,046 --> 00:18:34,079
I wrote her a pretty big
check this afternoon.
473
00:18:34,147 --> 00:18:36,715
I had a feeling she might...
Take it and run.
474
00:18:36,782 --> 00:18:37,848
You want me to help you cancel it?
475
00:18:37,916 --> 00:18:40,183
Oh, hell, she earned it.
476
00:18:40,251 --> 00:18:43,185
You're lucky, jeff.
It's not too late for you.
477
00:18:43,253 --> 00:18:46,687
Have a family, share your life.
478
00:18:46,755 --> 00:18:48,521
That and understanding computers
479
00:18:48,589 --> 00:18:52,090
Are two things you just
can't knock out at the end.
480
00:18:52,158 --> 00:18:54,091
Pierce.
481
00:18:54,159 --> 00:18:56,326
Who did you call last week
after you farted on vaughn?
482
00:18:56,393 --> 00:18:57,760
you.
483
00:18:57,828 --> 00:19:00,528
And who did abed call after
that squirrel stole his hot dog?
484
00:19:00,596 --> 00:19:03,297
- Me.
- That's sharing your life.
485
00:19:03,365 --> 00:19:05,600
If you have friends,
you have family.
486
00:19:09,104 --> 00:19:11,572
Jeffrey.
487
00:19:12,575 --> 00:19:15,043
Aw, come here, son.
488
00:19:22,218 --> 00:19:23,886
Are we hugging or dancing?
489
00:19:23,953 --> 00:19:26,022
You know, if the
roles were reversed,
490
00:19:26,090 --> 00:19:28,759
I would've had sex with
your ex-stepdaughter.
491
00:19:28,827 --> 00:19:30,361
I did.
492
00:19:32,397 --> 00:19:34,698
Chip off the old block.
493
00:19:34,766 --> 00:19:36,934
It was either that or deal
with your actual pain.
494
00:19:37,001 --> 00:19:39,169
What pain?
495
00:19:39,237 --> 00:19:40,771
12:00.
496
00:19:40,838 --> 00:19:44,174
Oh, are you kidding me?
497
00:19:47,844 --> 00:19:49,779
it's okay.
498
00:19:49,846 --> 00:19:51,847
It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.
499
00:19:53,283 --> 00:19:54,917
Let it out, let it out.
500
00:19:54,985 --> 00:19:57,987
We always used to watch the
shows she wanted to watch.
501
00:19:58,055 --> 00:19:59,756
I hate glee.
502
00:19:59,823 --> 00:20:02,124
I'm not crazy about glee either.
503
00:20:02,192 --> 00:20:04,260
I hate it.
504
00:20:04,328 --> 00:20:06,329
I don't understand
the appeal at all.
505
00:20:09,754 --> 00:20:10,987
Why did we do this again?
506
00:20:11,055 --> 00:20:12,322
We thought it looked fun.
507
00:20:12,390 --> 00:20:13,890
Is your cell phone in your pocket?
508
00:20:13,958 --> 00:20:16,125
Yeah, but I can't reach it.
I can only move my right arm.
509
00:20:16,193 --> 00:20:17,760
Okay, there's money
already in there.
510
00:20:17,828 --> 00:20:19,429
Slide your arm through
that bottom slot,
511
00:20:19,496 --> 00:20:20,930
And press the buttons g-14.
512
00:20:20,997 --> 00:20:22,598
When the snack is selected,
the mechanical lever
513
00:20:22,666 --> 00:20:23,966
That's holding it will
be thrust forward,
514
00:20:24,034 --> 00:20:25,467
Thereby knocking your cell
phone out of your pocket
515
00:20:25,535 --> 00:20:26,668
And into the receptacle below,
516
00:20:26,736 --> 00:20:27,835
Where you can pick it
up and call for help.
517
00:20:27,903 --> 00:20:29,470
Here we go.
518
00:20:37,613 --> 00:20:38,746
Troy?
519
00:20:38,814 --> 00:20:40,383
I think I hit g-13.
520
00:20:40,384 --> 00:20:43,384
Sync by honeybunny
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