1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
1
00:00:02,202 --> 00:00:03,191
[###]
2
00:00:03,403 --> 00:00:05,030
Ha-ha-ha. Welcome back.
3
00:00:05,238 --> 00:00:07,570
Hi. Hello.
4
00:00:07,774 --> 00:00:09,241
What did you do over break?
5
00:00:09,442 --> 00:00:12,536
Oh, it's so awesome. Me and Abed
played this video game. It's so dope.
6
00:00:12,746 --> 00:00:14,145
It's a whole city.
You can drive anywhere.
7
00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:15,541
You can rent an apartment.
Do taxes.
8
00:00:15,749 --> 00:00:17,307
But don't get audited.
Because that's bad.
9
00:00:17,517 --> 00:00:19,451
You could even enroll
in community college.
10
00:00:19,652 --> 00:00:22,553
Right now, it sounds
as boring as real life, but it is not.
11
00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:24,485
Vacations are wasted
on the young.
12
00:00:24,691 --> 00:00:26,625
You guys gotta get out there
and see the world
13
00:00:26,826 --> 00:00:29,056
at some point or you're gonna
miss your entire lives.
14
00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:32,060
Where did you go, Britta?
Amsterdam, I think.
15
00:00:32,265 --> 00:00:33,732
I'll know more
when I find my camera.
16
00:00:33,933 --> 00:00:36,094
Guess what happened to me.
17
00:00:36,302 --> 00:00:38,668
Oh, Pierce,
you became a grandfather?
18
00:00:38,872 --> 00:00:40,305
No, I became even cooler.
19
00:00:40,507 --> 00:00:42,441
These ironic T-shirts
are all the rage.
20
00:00:44,144 --> 00:00:45,441
Let's get one thing straight.
21
00:00:45,645 --> 00:00:48,944
I wish I was still a lawyer, I'm only
here because I'm hot for Britta,
22
00:00:49,149 --> 00:00:51,640
and I don't want to be
anybody's friend.
23
00:00:53,053 --> 00:00:55,681
Just kidding.
Bring it in here, you knuckleheads.
24
00:00:55,889 --> 00:00:57,857
[ALL LAUGHING & CHATTERING]
25
00:00:59,626 --> 00:01:00,684
You know, I gotta say,
26
00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,829
I... I took a look back
at the guy I was last semester,
27
00:01:04,030 --> 00:01:06,521
and I realized,
that guy was a drag.
28
00:01:06,733 --> 00:01:08,462
GROUP: No.
Good to hear you admit it, Jeff.
29
00:01:08,668 --> 00:01:12,069
No, the truth is,
this is a new semester, a new Jeff.
30
00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:15,366
Greendale is where I am
and I am gonna make the best of it.
31
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:18,043
Oh, that's nice.
You're like Hawkeye on M* A*S*H.
32
00:01:18,244 --> 00:01:20,735
He kept his upbeat humor and charm, even
in the 11 th year of the Korean War.
33
00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:22,539
Yeah. Well, don't go
changing too much, Jeff.
34
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:25,582
I think we all like you
just the way you were.
35
00:01:25,785 --> 00:01:27,480
Well, I appreciate that, but...
36
00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:30,449
Did you just teleport here?
37
00:01:30,657 --> 00:01:32,750
No, I snuck in
during the group hug.
38
00:01:34,461 --> 00:01:36,053
You guys don't remember me?
39
00:01:36,262 --> 00:01:38,594
Buddy, from Spanish class.
40
00:01:38,798 --> 00:01:40,425
Yeah,
it's Buddy from Spanish class.
41
00:01:40,633 --> 00:01:42,157
I've never seen you
before in my life.
42
00:01:42,368 --> 00:01:43,392
[ALL TALKING
OVER EACH OTHER]
43
00:01:43,603 --> 00:01:45,628
I don't know you.
ABED: I've seen Buddy before.
44
00:01:45,839 --> 00:01:47,898
He sits in the corner,
next to the dead plant.
45
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,975
Thank you, Abed. Sometimes I have a
tendency to melt into the background.
46
00:01:51,177 --> 00:01:55,045
It's just my body type,
but I definitely know you guys.
47
00:01:55,248 --> 00:01:57,808
From watching you
all last semester grow together.
48
00:01:58,418 --> 00:01:59,578
[###]
49
00:01:59,786 --> 00:02:01,777
F. F minus.
50
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:05,490
Did you say S?
He said F.
51
00:02:05,692 --> 00:02:08,092
Who cheated?
I did it.
52
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:09,488
[CLASS CHATTERING]
53
00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:11,630
Britta cheated?
54
00:02:11,831 --> 00:02:12,957
But why?
55
00:02:13,166 --> 00:02:15,100
Give me back my bra, Annie.
56
00:02:15,301 --> 00:02:18,168
Ugh. I'm not even wearing a bra.
Ugh! Ugh!
57
00:02:18,371 --> 00:02:22,102
[BOTH SCREAMING]
58
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:25,300
I don't even care who wins.
What?
59
00:02:25,512 --> 00:02:27,707
I sleep a lot in class,
that one might have been a dream.
60
00:02:27,914 --> 00:02:31,179
Well, Buddy, as you know, we
haven't had Spanish class yet,
61
00:02:31,384 --> 00:02:34,353
so this meeting was more just for
catching up between friends.
62
00:02:34,821 --> 00:02:37,483
I heard that. Let's do it.
63
00:02:39,125 --> 00:02:40,558
Well, maybe...
So, I... Heh.
64
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:41,749
Sorry, Britta.
65
00:02:41,961 --> 00:02:43,758
I'll go first. Uh...
66
00:02:43,963 --> 00:02:46,625
I'm sure you guys
have a natural rapport and timing,
67
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:49,427
and you know you're scared
that adding a new member
68
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:51,968
might throw everything off
of its natural...
69
00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:54,140
[THE 88'S "AT LEAST
IT WAS HERE" PLAYING]
70
00:03:00,313 --> 00:03:02,941
- rhythm, but I feel like
I know you guys already.
71
00:03:03,149 --> 00:03:06,812
So you know, let me in, just tell
me the rules, and I will follow.
72
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,352
Well, you already broke
the only rule I have.
73
00:03:09,556 --> 00:03:11,183
The rule about
worrying about rules.
74
00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:14,053
That's what I'm saying too.
75
00:03:14,260 --> 00:03:15,318
Yeah.
76
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:17,359
♪ Spanish studying is better ♪
77
00:03:17,564 --> 00:03:25,494
♪ When you're Buddy-ing around
Yeah ♪♪
78
00:03:27,674 --> 00:03:29,505
[###]
79
00:03:29,709 --> 00:03:32,041
Hey, Jeff.
Hey.
80
00:03:33,646 --> 00:03:34,635
Excuse me. Um...
81
00:03:34,847 --> 00:03:37,577
I received a text message
about free Sephora samples?
82
00:03:37,784 --> 00:03:39,513
Ha-ha. It was me. Ha-ha.
83
00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,449
Sorry about the ruse,
but I have something better
84
00:03:42,655 --> 00:03:46,284
than exfoliating soap
to rub on you.
85
00:03:46,492 --> 00:03:48,926
An opportunity. Mm.
86
00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:53,394
As you can see, I am resurrecting the
Greendale Gazette Journal Mirror.
87
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:55,124
And we need a student editor.
88
00:03:55,335 --> 00:03:58,702
Someone with a real world savvy that
extends beyond how to huff the ink.
89
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:02,068
Actually, dean, I'm resolved
to spend this semester being more...
90
00:04:02,275 --> 00:04:04,470
This would be your office.
91
00:04:04,677 --> 00:04:08,909
Relaxed and awesome.
92
00:04:09,115 --> 00:04:12,380
This is the first desk I've seen in six months
that doesn't have "Zeppelin Rules" carved into it.
93
00:04:12,585 --> 00:04:14,052
And you get an English credit.
94
00:04:14,587 --> 00:04:16,987
Well, that ain't bad neither. I'm in.
Yeah.
95
00:04:17,190 --> 00:04:19,454
Guys, meet your new editor.
96
00:04:19,659 --> 00:04:23,595
Mr. Winger is very excited to help you
bring a voice back to the campus.
97
00:04:23,796 --> 00:04:25,855
Jeff, I need to take your picture.
98
00:04:26,065 --> 00:04:28,090
Good, we got it.
Okay.
99
00:04:28,301 --> 00:04:29,632
You guys knock yourselves out.
100
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:33,431
Welcome aboard, Jeff. This is my article
on the school's new water heater.
101
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:37,201
You've got chops, kid. But we need
your talent on a bigger story.
102
00:04:37,410 --> 00:04:39,742
Pizza wars.
Who's got the best slice in town?
103
00:04:39,946 --> 00:04:42,710
Start with Big Nick's.
Bring us a large with sausage.
104
00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:46,248
You. I heard a rumor that Riley's
Liquor is selling to underage students.
105
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:48,477
So I need an undercover exposé.
106
00:04:48,688 --> 00:04:52,419
Find out how much they'll sell you
of anything cold and imported.
107
00:04:53,059 --> 00:04:55,687
You expect me to watch you
do that without telling on you?
108
00:04:55,895 --> 00:04:58,625
That's a hard-hitting question, Annie.
Are you a reporter?
109
00:04:58,831 --> 00:05:01,595
No. They've got me editing
the crossword because I'm a girl.
110
00:05:01,801 --> 00:05:04,964
And because I love crosswords.
Well, now you love the streets.
111
00:05:05,171 --> 00:05:07,799
You're my ace newshound.
Ace? You can do that?
112
00:05:08,007 --> 00:05:10,601
We can do anything we want.
It's Greendale.
113
00:05:10,810 --> 00:05:12,175
Now go find me that story.
114
00:05:13,513 --> 00:05:15,504
ABED: This character reboot is
really gelling for you, Jeff.
115
00:05:15,715 --> 00:05:17,205
That was all classic Hawkeye.
116
00:05:17,417 --> 00:05:18,850
Sending soldiers out for liquor.
117
00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:23,216
Slyly sidestepping the problematic
scrutiny of Annie "Hot Lips" Edison. Mm?
118
00:05:23,423 --> 00:05:25,948
I should build you a still
for making Hawkeye martinis.
119
00:05:26,159 --> 00:05:29,617
Of all your pop cultural fixations,
this is one I can work with, Abed.
120
00:05:29,829 --> 00:05:32,525
Call me Radar?
When you've earned it.
121
00:05:33,733 --> 00:05:35,792
Now, I know the news
of Señor Chang's death
122
00:05:36,002 --> 00:05:38,402
over winter break
was a shock to us all.
123
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,302
But we should take comfort
in the fact
124
00:05:41,507 --> 00:05:45,136
that he did not suffer when his
moped hit the side of that Arby's.
125
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,404
So sad.
126
00:05:47,613 --> 00:05:49,706
But best semester ever. Heh-heh.
127
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,508
[ALL GASP]
128
00:05:52,719 --> 00:05:55,244
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
129
00:05:55,455 --> 00:05:58,788
Heh-heh. Beat it. All right.
130
00:05:58,991 --> 00:06:00,686
That was a professional actress.
131
00:06:00,893 --> 00:06:04,659
I am a man who can never die,
132
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,799
and this has been your first taste
of Spanish 1-0-dos
133
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:12,664
the semester
I get inside your cabezas.
134
00:06:12,872 --> 00:06:15,534
[PRETENDS TO EAT NOISILY]
135
00:06:18,277 --> 00:06:20,211
[BELCHES]
136
00:06:20,646 --> 00:06:22,511
RAPPER [OVER STEREO]:
♪ I am Señor Chang ♪
137
00:06:22,715 --> 00:06:23,875
♪ And I'm so ill ♪
138
00:06:24,083 --> 00:06:26,381
♪ This is a warning I can't be killed ♪
139
00:06:26,586 --> 00:06:28,884
♪ All in your cabeza
Without a chaser ♪
140
00:06:29,088 --> 00:06:32,251
♪ Not another teacher
With this much flavor, Chang ♪♪
141
00:06:32,458 --> 00:06:34,187
Saw that coming.
142
00:06:34,394 --> 00:06:36,726
Hey, guys. See you in study group.
143
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:40,361
Hoo-aah! Aah!
144
00:06:41,167 --> 00:06:44,261
Uh, Jeff, can he really just decide
he's one of us?
145
00:06:44,470 --> 00:06:46,097
PIERCE:
He throws off our balance.
146
00:06:46,305 --> 00:06:50,241
We've got three chicks, three dudes,
and now, two weirdoes. Heh.
147
00:06:50,443 --> 00:06:52,343
Sorry, Abed.
Not all weirdoes are bad.
148
00:06:52,545 --> 00:06:54,410
Buddy might be a puckish agent
of change that changes our lives
149
00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:55,876
for the better
through a musical montage.
150
00:06:56,082 --> 00:06:58,573
Or he could have a row of jars
waiting for our genitals.
151
00:06:58,785 --> 00:07:00,252
Yo, I need my genitals.
152
00:07:00,953 --> 00:07:02,443
You know who you guys sound like?
153
00:07:02,655 --> 00:07:04,122
Me, from last semester.
154
00:07:04,323 --> 00:07:06,291
Cynical. Elitist.
Oh.
155
00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:08,153
Rakishly good-looking.
Thank you.
156
00:07:08,361 --> 00:07:11,592
Well, we should at least get together to
talk about membership policies, right?
157
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:12,890
Hey, don't ask me.
158
00:07:13,099 --> 00:07:15,533
Dealing with problems
ain't my job no more.
159
00:07:15,735 --> 00:07:19,603
My new job is hanging out,
having fun and cracking wise.
160
00:07:19,806 --> 00:07:22,274
Oh, must be nice.
Suppose I decide that's my job?
161
00:07:22,475 --> 00:07:24,466
[ALL LAUGHING]
162
00:07:28,047 --> 00:07:30,015
[LAUGHS]
163
00:07:30,216 --> 00:07:31,205
Jeff.
164
00:07:31,417 --> 00:07:35,319
I hope you've got an army of raisins,
because I've got a major scoop.
165
00:07:35,922 --> 00:07:37,787
In October, there was a free
Toni Braxton concert on the quad...
166
00:07:37,990 --> 00:07:39,855
You don't need to remind me.
167
00:07:40,059 --> 00:07:42,550
And when a last-minute mix-up
shifted the showtime by an hour,
168
00:07:42,762 --> 00:07:45,959
an anonymous text message went
out alerting students of the change.
169
00:07:46,165 --> 00:07:47,530
Okay.
Not okay.
170
00:07:47,733 --> 00:07:50,930
Because the text message was sent
exclusively to black students.
171
00:07:51,137 --> 00:07:53,332
And one French kid named Lebron.
172
00:07:53,539 --> 00:07:54,563
That's profiling.
173
00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:57,538
This is front page juice.
I gotta find out who sent the text.
174
00:07:57,944 --> 00:07:59,809
Have you called
the number that sent it?
175
00:08:00,012 --> 00:08:03,880
Well, nobody's that stupid, right?
176
00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:06,006
[GROWLS]
177
00:08:06,219 --> 00:08:07,811
[RINGS]
178
00:08:08,454 --> 00:08:09,944
Hello?
179
00:08:10,156 --> 00:08:11,680
[CALLER SPEAKING
INDISTINCTLY]
180
00:08:11,891 --> 00:08:13,290
Um...
181
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:15,984
[IN DEEP VOICE] Wrong number.
182
00:08:18,898 --> 00:08:21,025
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
No, no. That was a good cover.
183
00:08:21,234 --> 00:08:25,694
So whoever it is keeps hanging up,
but he can't hide forever.
184
00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:28,703
Annie the reporter. Good times.
185
00:08:29,909 --> 00:08:34,642
Listen up, I just want to say,
thank you guys real much...
186
00:08:34,847 --> 00:08:36,371
Real much? Duh.
187
00:08:36,582 --> 00:08:39,244
Thank you guys very much for this.
188
00:08:40,086 --> 00:08:42,111
It's a dream come true.
Aww.
189
00:08:42,655 --> 00:08:44,088
Now let's study some Spanish.
190
00:08:44,891 --> 00:08:48,827
So for the essay, we conjugate...
BUDD Y: Conjugate?
191
00:08:49,028 --> 00:08:50,928
Conjugal. Visit.
192
00:08:52,431 --> 00:08:56,367
Ha-ha-ha. Lame.
Okay, stick and move, stick and move.
193
00:08:57,770 --> 00:09:00,500
Okay, so for the essay portion...
194
00:09:00,706 --> 00:09:03,072
♪ Annie got an essay portion ♪
195
00:09:03,276 --> 00:09:07,713
♪ Annie gonna move
Her luscious fanny all day long ♪♪
196
00:09:07,914 --> 00:09:09,848
Hey, Buddy can sing, you guys.
Ha-ha-ha.
197
00:09:10,049 --> 00:09:11,846
Well, that's great.
198
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:14,611
Annie's pretty young,
we try not to sexualize her.
199
00:09:15,288 --> 00:09:18,052
I'm sorry. Whoa!
200
00:09:18,257 --> 00:09:19,849
Okay, look, I did... You know what?
201
00:09:20,059 --> 00:09:23,893
It's your study group, and I don't know if you
perceive it as something that could be improved
202
00:09:24,096 --> 00:09:25,222
but I do have some ideas.
203
00:09:25,431 --> 00:09:26,830
Here's one right here. Boom.
204
00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:29,900
I was thinking, we could start
saying, "You go, girl."
205
00:09:30,102 --> 00:09:33,868
Not in a way that's, you know, oh,
I'm so cool saying, "You go, girl."
206
00:09:34,073 --> 00:09:35,973
But in a way that
we're kind of winking at it.
207
00:09:36,175 --> 00:09:39,667
Bottom line,
you guys need a chubby, agile guy.
208
00:09:39,879 --> 00:09:41,972
Did anyone see
Paul Blart: Marl Car...
209
00:09:42,181 --> 00:09:43,478
Paul Blart: Mall Cop.
210
00:09:44,617 --> 00:09:49,281
I'm like that, okay?
I'm fat and I'm physical, okay?
211
00:09:49,488 --> 00:09:51,979
And I'm strong, hmm,
and I can kick.
212
00:09:52,191 --> 00:09:54,284
ALL:
Oh!
213
00:09:54,527 --> 00:09:55,892
BUDD Y:
Dude, sorry.
214
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,756
Jeff, Jeff?
JEFF: No, no, it's fine.
215
00:09:57,964 --> 00:10:00,592
Just a little... Little nosebleed,
I get them when it's dry,
216
00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:02,290
or when my face gets kicked.
217
00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:03,996
I'll get some paper towels.
218
00:10:04,503 --> 00:10:06,767
[###]
219
00:10:06,973 --> 00:10:12,070
Did someone say something about a
meeting to discuss member policy?
220
00:10:15,948 --> 00:10:19,577
I think it's obvious to everyone, that this
Buddy fellow has a few fruit loops loose
221
00:10:19,785 --> 00:10:23,619
so I think no matter what we do, we
gotta do it with grace and caution.
222
00:10:23,823 --> 00:10:25,791
I say we keep Buddy in the group.
What?
223
00:10:25,992 --> 00:10:29,428
I've given it a lot of thought and
frankly I like his in-your-face style.
224
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,597
TROY: I can't stop thinking
about his high kick.
225
00:10:32,198 --> 00:10:35,531
His ratio of girth
to hip flexibility is mesmerizing.
226
00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:37,464
I like his idea of ironically
saying, "You go, girl."
227
00:10:37,670 --> 00:10:39,160
You go, girl.
You go, girl.
228
00:10:39,372 --> 00:10:41,363
Wait, so you kick high enough
and you get in the group?
229
00:10:41,574 --> 00:10:44,372
If we're gonna add people, I really think
we should consider my friend Gary.
230
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:47,705
I'm sorry, Shirley,
you friend Gary is so boring.
231
00:10:47,913 --> 00:10:50,814
He was raised in Finland,
he doesn't get our humor.
232
00:10:51,017 --> 00:10:54,646
So if we're gonna add a chair for every
bong-ripping, good-time charlie,
233
00:10:54,854 --> 00:10:57,789
with a song in his heart,
I move we institute hazing.
234
00:10:57,990 --> 00:10:59,548
Well, in The Right Stuff,
the novel by Tom Wolfe...
235
00:10:59,759 --> 00:11:02,853
This is why we need new blood.
I'm so bored of your pop culture references,
236
00:11:03,062 --> 00:11:04,927
and your cigarette-legged jeans.
237
00:11:05,131 --> 00:11:07,156
Uh, Gary wears nothing
but loose-fitting jeans.
238
00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:09,493
Gary is off the table.
He is a buzz kill.
239
00:11:09,702 --> 00:11:11,465
He grew up in a land without sun.
240
00:11:11,671 --> 00:11:13,229
[ALL TALKING
OVER EACH OTHER]
241
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,809
Take a vote.
They'd probably vote him in.
242
00:11:18,344 --> 00:11:20,073
They won't.
243
00:11:20,279 --> 00:11:22,144
Guys. Guys, let's take a vote.
244
00:11:22,348 --> 00:11:24,248
Secret vote,
everybody cover your eyes.
245
00:11:26,185 --> 00:11:28,415
We won't know the result.
Say your vote out loud.
246
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:31,317
We'll know each ether's voices.
Troy's got a point.
247
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:32,855
Holy crap. Wow.
248
00:11:33,059 --> 00:11:36,256
It says here, some guy in Seattle went nuts
and killed his entire driver's ed class
249
00:11:36,462 --> 00:11:37,622
with a meat tenderizer.
250
00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,195
SHIRLEY:
Oh, no.
251
00:11:39,398 --> 00:11:40,990
We have to be careful.
252
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,690
[###]
253
00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:44,460
Okay.
254
00:11:44,670 --> 00:11:45,932
On the count of three,
255
00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:49,699
everybody who wants to keep
Buddy out, raise your hand.
256
00:11:57,550 --> 00:12:00,417
You lied about the guy in Seattle
with the meat tenderizer.
257
00:12:03,055 --> 00:12:04,488
You put your thumb on the scale.
258
00:12:04,690 --> 00:12:07,659
You did it with a smile and you
did it so you could keep smiling.
259
00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:09,122
You're Hawkeye.
260
00:12:09,328 --> 00:12:12,525
And with Buddy gone,
staying that way will be a lot easier.
261
00:12:13,199 --> 00:12:14,530
PELTON:
I am not racist.
262
00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:18,261
I had 20 minutes to let people know
Toni Braxton was starting early
263
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:22,339
and 273 text messages left
before my rate tripled.
264
00:12:22,541 --> 00:12:25,305
Racial profiling may not be right,
but it can be economical.
265
00:12:25,511 --> 00:12:27,376
Tell me, dean, when I refer
to you in my article,
266
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,104
would you prefer
imbecile or incompetent?
267
00:12:29,515 --> 00:12:31,449
I'd prefer incompetent,
but what I really want...
268
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:33,083
It doesn't matter what you want.
269
00:12:33,285 --> 00:12:35,583
The people want the truth,
I have to give it to them,
270
00:12:35,788 --> 00:12:38,621
and I won't let anyone
stand in my way.
271
00:12:40,226 --> 00:12:41,659
Excuse me.
272
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:43,590
Thank you.
Hey, Jeffrey.
273
00:12:44,196 --> 00:12:46,130
I'm the least racist person
in the world.
274
00:12:46,332 --> 00:12:48,857
My best friend, when I was
6 years old, was a black man.
275
00:12:49,068 --> 00:12:51,434
Okay, look. I've learned my lesson.
I've got unlimited texting now.
276
00:12:51,637 --> 00:12:53,104
But if she runs that story,
277
00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:57,071
I will lose this job,
and this job is my life.
278
00:12:57,543 --> 00:12:59,135
She listens to you.
279
00:13:00,346 --> 00:13:02,974
Well, next time we're both
hanging out, having fun,
280
00:13:03,182 --> 00:13:06,618
I could try cracking wise
about it with her.
281
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:09,413
You do what you think is right.
282
00:13:12,158 --> 00:13:14,126
[HUMMING MUSIC FROM M* A*S*H]
283
00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:20,793
That's enough.
Okay.
284
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,968
I'm just saying,
it's not exactly Watergate.
285
00:13:23,169 --> 00:13:26,195
I mean, you like the dean,
he's trying to help you transfer.
286
00:13:26,405 --> 00:13:28,236
Yeah, and this time,
he might succeed.
287
00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,876
If this article breaks out, I can apply
for journalism scholarships.
288
00:13:32,077 --> 00:13:35,240
Nobody will care about my time
in rehab if they think I'm a writer.
289
00:13:35,447 --> 00:13:38,143
Annie, as your upbeat friend,
I gotta say, let this go.
290
00:13:38,350 --> 00:13:41,615
This is Greendale, Jeff,
we can do whatever we want.
291
00:13:42,321 --> 00:13:46,690
BUDD Y: ♪ I'm sorry, I'm
sorry I'm so damn sorry ♪
292
00:13:46,892 --> 00:13:48,917
♪ I'm sorry, I'm sorry ♪
293
00:13:49,128 --> 00:13:51,289
♪ Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,
I'm so sorry ♪
294
00:13:51,497 --> 00:13:52,987
♪ I'm so sorry ♪♪
295
00:13:53,199 --> 00:13:55,531
Didn't anyone tell Buddy
he was out?
296
00:13:55,734 --> 00:13:58,032
I guess we thought you would.
297
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:03,005
My lord, my lady,
you missed my apology song.
298
00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:05,404
Yeah, I'll...
I'll tell them about it later.
299
00:14:06,045 --> 00:14:10,209
Jeff, I am so sorry
about the other day.
300
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:12,816
Buddy,
301
00:14:13,619 --> 00:14:15,086
yesterday, the group took a vote.
302
00:14:15,287 --> 00:14:16,845
[GROANS]
303
00:14:17,957 --> 00:14:20,949
And you seem to have
figured out the rest of it.
304
00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,424
[SOBBING]
305
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:27,123
Was it the high kick?
306
00:14:27,333 --> 00:14:28,357
Was it, "You go, girl?"
307
00:14:28,567 --> 00:14:30,398
Oh, you guys think you're so cool.
308
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:32,935
No, we don't think we're cool at all.
Just a bit.
309
00:14:33,472 --> 00:14:35,269
I put myself out there for you.
310
00:14:36,575 --> 00:14:38,167
I laid my soul bare.
311
00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:42,475
I made you guys lemon squares
with free-range eggs
312
00:14:42,681 --> 00:14:44,273
that I baked with my own hands.
313
00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:46,212
Maybe a little less sugar next time.
314
00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:48,386
Well, I'm not leaving.
315
00:14:48,587 --> 00:14:50,646
Oh, come on.
316
00:14:50,856 --> 00:14:52,915
Be relaxed, like me.
317
00:14:53,125 --> 00:14:54,786
Leave.
You're not relaxed.
318
00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:57,855
You're an uptight puppet master.
And these are your little puppets.
319
00:14:58,063 --> 00:14:59,155
SHIRLEY:
I am no man's puppet, sir.
320
00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:00,696
[ALL TALKING
OVER EACH OTHER]
321
00:15:00,900 --> 00:15:02,424
SHIRLEY:
How dare you.
322
00:15:02,902 --> 00:15:06,030
Buddy, just be reasonable and go.
323
00:15:06,238 --> 00:15:07,762
Make me, Hitler.
324
00:15:07,973 --> 00:15:10,066
Oh.
Okay, so, uh,
325
00:15:10,276 --> 00:15:11,265
so since Buddy's not leaving,
326
00:15:11,477 --> 00:15:15,777
he'll just be the person who we
wish wasn't here while we study.
327
00:15:16,282 --> 00:15:17,943
Try getting that deal from Hitler.
328
00:15:18,150 --> 00:15:19,549
Shall we?
329
00:15:21,186 --> 00:15:23,620
I'm studying with you.
No, you're not.
330
00:15:26,292 --> 00:15:27,987
Everyone stop studying.
Okay.
331
00:15:29,628 --> 00:15:31,687
You're not in the group.
332
00:15:31,897 --> 00:15:33,797
Okay, then go study
somewhere else.
333
00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:38,199
[SPEAKING IN SPANISH]
334
00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:55,854
No, no, no.
335
00:15:56,055 --> 00:15:58,114
No, no, no.
336
00:15:58,324 --> 00:16:00,121
No, I wanna study with you guys.
337
00:16:00,326 --> 00:16:02,157
No.
338
00:16:02,361 --> 00:16:04,454
No.
339
00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,432
[CRYING]
340
00:16:11,637 --> 00:16:13,264
I hate you.
341
00:16:13,472 --> 00:16:16,669
I hate your study group. I hate it.
342
00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:19,303
You suck.
343
00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:22,174
I hate you.
344
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,215
And you are not running that story.
Why not?
345
00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:30,684
Because I said so.
346
00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:33,457
Does anybody have a problem
with how that was handled?
347
00:16:33,659 --> 00:16:35,889
SHIRLEY: It's okay.
Exactly the way I would've done it.
348
00:16:36,095 --> 00:16:37,562
BUDD Y:
You suck.
349
00:16:38,597 --> 00:16:40,565
[###]
350
00:16:44,503 --> 00:16:46,562
Who are you kidding, Abed?
351
00:16:46,772 --> 00:16:48,740
I just dragged
a screaming, crying man
352
00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:51,808
out of a library
with his pants down.
353
00:16:52,678 --> 00:16:54,873
No. Martinis are for Hawkeyes.
354
00:16:56,148 --> 00:16:59,015
I'm the same uptight jerk
I was last semester.
355
00:17:02,788 --> 00:17:04,722
Jeff, what's your favorite episode
of M* A*S*H?
356
00:17:05,157 --> 00:17:07,717
The one with, uh, the Army.
357
00:17:08,160 --> 00:17:09,593
That's what I thought.
358
00:17:09,795 --> 00:17:10,989
If you had actually
seen the show
359
00:17:11,196 --> 00:17:13,664
you'd know that Hawkeye didn't just
bed nurses and drink martinis.
360
00:17:13,866 --> 00:17:16,699
He also had blood sprayed on his face and
barked orders when the choppers came in.
361
00:17:16,902 --> 00:17:18,870
If he didn't, people died.
362
00:17:19,805 --> 00:17:21,830
He was a leader, Jeff.
That's your job.
363
00:17:22,041 --> 00:17:24,373
Yeah? What's in it for me?
364
00:17:25,144 --> 00:17:27,135
Hey.
Annie.
365
00:17:27,346 --> 00:17:28,938
I... I'm sorry that I yelled.
366
00:17:29,448 --> 00:17:31,006
I'm glad you did.
367
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:36,586
It didn't even really occur to me what I
was doing until I saw how upset you were.
368
00:17:36,789 --> 00:17:39,519
I never want to be the reason
you're mad, because
369
00:17:39,725 --> 00:17:41,386
you're Jeff Winger.
370
00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:45,522
So thanks
371
00:17:46,465 --> 00:17:48,228
for getting mad.
372
00:17:49,802 --> 00:17:51,565
It was nothing.
373
00:17:54,173 --> 00:17:56,971
I guess that's the upside, isn't it?
374
00:18:03,115 --> 00:18:05,174
Thank you,
375
00:18:05,384 --> 00:18:06,715
Radar.
376
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:09,319
Ooh. You made me so happy
I just peed a little.
377
00:18:11,123 --> 00:18:12,954
I don't think violence is the answer
when we make decisions.
378
00:18:13,158 --> 00:18:14,819
[ALL CHATTERING]
379
00:18:15,828 --> 00:18:17,557
Hi, guys.
Hi, Buddy.
380
00:18:17,763 --> 00:18:20,789
Can you, um?
Excuse us?
381
00:18:20,999 --> 00:18:24,093
For one crazy stalker?
382
00:18:24,303 --> 00:18:26,737
[ALL CHUCKLING]
383
00:18:29,041 --> 00:18:32,568
Listen up,
we outnumber this guy six to one.
384
00:18:32,778 --> 00:18:35,645
Annie, you flash your breasts
as a decoy for the bumrush.
385
00:18:35,848 --> 00:18:37,440
Pierce?
Britta, don't be upset.
386
00:18:37,649 --> 00:18:39,947
I didn't pick you as a decoy
because your breasts are so old.
387
00:18:40,152 --> 00:18:41,983
Why is he even here? Hello.
388
00:18:42,855 --> 00:18:44,789
JEFF:
I invited him.
389
00:18:46,825 --> 00:18:49,817
Buddy's crime
is thinking we're cool.
390
00:18:50,362 --> 00:18:51,420
But I get it.
391
00:18:51,630 --> 00:18:55,031
I mean, if I were him,
and I missed out on you guys,
392
00:18:55,601 --> 00:19:00,766
I'd be sitting in that classroom,
watching, wondering.
393
00:19:01,373 --> 00:19:05,434
So how can I exclude someone from
something that I'm so lucky to have.
394
00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:06,800
Oh.
395
00:19:08,013 --> 00:19:10,106
I say we let him in.
396
00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:11,976
[CHUCKLING]
397
00:19:13,519 --> 00:19:15,146
JEFF:
Hey, Buddy.
398
00:19:15,888 --> 00:19:17,321
Welcome to the group.
399
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:20,083
Oh, yes.
400
00:19:20,292 --> 00:19:21,725
You will not regret this.
401
00:19:21,927 --> 00:19:25,363
[CHATTERING AND CHUCKLING]
402
00:19:25,964 --> 00:19:27,556
There he is.
403
00:19:28,100 --> 00:19:31,661
Hey, Buddy, the group
thought about what you said.
404
00:19:31,870 --> 00:19:34,202
We took a vote. And you're in.
405
00:19:34,406 --> 00:19:35,634
[LAUGHS]
406
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:38,036
No way. I'm in the cool group?
407
00:19:39,344 --> 00:19:41,574
It's like Christmas morning
for the guy.
408
00:19:42,447 --> 00:19:43,971
MAN:
Welcome.
409
00:19:44,983 --> 00:19:46,541
This is...
410
00:19:46,752 --> 00:19:48,720
Oh, this is awkward.
411
00:19:48,921 --> 00:19:51,151
You guys were my safety. Pfft.
412
00:19:51,356 --> 00:19:53,187
Hey, hey, Buddy, you don't have
to worry about them.
413
00:19:53,392 --> 00:19:54,757
You're with us now. Come on.
414
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:57,151
Ha-ha! Boo!
415
00:19:57,362 --> 00:19:58,522
[ALL LAUGH]
416
00:19:58,730 --> 00:20:01,392
It's amazing.
I love the kicks. The kicks are the best.
417
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:03,568
[COOL GROUP CHATTERING]
418
00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:12,471
And that, ladies and gentlemen,
is why I voted to keep him.
419
00:20:12,678 --> 00:20:15,340
Would have been nice to have
another person in the group.
420
00:20:15,547 --> 00:20:16,946
I'll call Gary.
421
00:20:17,149 --> 00:20:19,117
[###]
422
00:20:24,656 --> 00:20:27,682
So it says here
you want to join as a twosome?
423
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:29,360
I don't see that as a selling point.
424
00:20:29,561 --> 00:20:30,755
We work really well together.
Yeah.
425
00:20:30,963 --> 00:20:32,726
Let me hear that rap thing
of yours again.
426
00:20:33,031 --> 00:20:37,900
[RAPPING IN SPANISH]
427
00:20:38,303 --> 00:20:39,930
All right. I'm gonna talk it over
with the others.
428
00:20:40,138 --> 00:20:42,038
Cool, thanks for your time.
PIERCE: You traitors.
429
00:20:42,541 --> 00:20:45,669
I am appalled at your lack of loyalty.
430
00:20:47,980 --> 00:20:50,574
Yeah, you better run.
431
00:20:51,450 --> 00:20:53,418
Have you decided?
We saw your tape.
432
00:20:53,619 --> 00:20:55,314
We're passing.
I don't pop on video.
433
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:56,817
Let me do the song in person.
434
00:20:57,022 --> 00:20:59,320
♪ Getting rid of Britta ♪
435
00:20:59,524 --> 00:21:01,014
♪ Getting rid of the B ♪
436
00:21:01,226 --> 00:21:03,558
♪ She's a GDB ♪
437
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:07,292
♪ She's a no-good B ♪♪