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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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[###]
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I booked a sketch artist,
an improv troupe,
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and a laser projecting
a burning pelvis onto the ceiling.
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A laser? Well, this isn't
gonna be your mother's
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sexually transmitted disease
awareness fair.
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[BOTH GIGGLE]
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You've been quite
the little helper, Annie.
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STD fair, guys. Catch knowledge.
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You think you're better than me?
No.
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You stick to quoting movie lines,
I'll stick to sports.
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Trying to reduce my referencing.
Well, you're not moving into sports.
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You and I are playing
real basketball, right now.
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Sounds fun.
No, it doesn't.
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And it won't be.
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ANNIE: Catch knowledge.
Sorry, not interested
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in ignoring your
very important cause.
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Hi, I'm Jeff Winger.
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Oh, Sabrina is my new secretary.
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Secretary is a little
degrading to women.
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I help the dean do office-y things.
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Oh, gender saved.
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My casual friend and I are gonna
have a non-romantic breakfast
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if you'd like to join us.
Cafeteria's closed.
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Fortune cookie?
PELTON: Isn't it great?
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Greendale is the latest campus to
catch a case of public-health fever.
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You know the toilets in the women's
bathrooms don't have seats, right?
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Because they keep getting stolen.
Sabrina, take a note.
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I want hidden cameras
in every stall.
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Problem solved.
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"You will get AIDS."
Flip it over.
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"Unless you go to the STD fair."
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I wrote that.
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Congratu... Horrible.
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See you later.
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Catch knowledge.
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[THE 88'S "AT LEAST
IT WAS HERE" PLAYS]
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Jeff, you and I are friends, right?
Okay.
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You may have noticed
a recent change in my demeanor.
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I haven't.
Well, I have a new girlfriend.
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She is super-smart,
if you know what I mean.
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I always know what you mean.
Can't wait for you to meet her.
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You know, when you
catch a big fish,
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you wanna stuff her
and put her on the mantle.
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How about tonight?
I doubt it.
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Troy and I played basketball. It's fun.
Don't gloat.
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It's impossible to guard you.
Your eyes are too gentle and mysterious.
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Hey, guys, Jeff and I are double-dating
tonight with my new girlfriend.
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BOTH:
Ooh!
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You got that from "I doubt it"?
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Pierce has got a girlfriend.
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That's great. What does she do?
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She's an escort.
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Oh.
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Some mysteries solve themselves.
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No, no, no, that's just her profession.
She doesn't escort me.
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No, no. I met her
in my Marketing class.
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And I'm taking Doreen
to Annie's mixer tonight.
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You mean the STD fair.
Catch knowledge.
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Taking a call girl to an STD fair?
There's a joke here.
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So, Jeff, dust off that black book
and rustle up a honey, huh?
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Is there a pill that makes
the word "no" clearer?
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Well, it is pretty short notice.
Probably couldn't get a date anyway.
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BOTH:
Ooh.
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I'm sure you're right.
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BOTH:
Ooh.
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Maybe it has something to do with crabs.
They're like a food but also a disease?
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I wonder, Jeff,
for all your feather flashing,
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when was the last time
you actually scored?
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I don't know the precise date,
Pierce, because I'm not you.
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So there's no receipt.
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Ooh.
Ehh.
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Oh, come on.
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Shouldn't take pot shots at some
woman because you can't get a date.
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I can get dates any time I want.
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What is this, some kind of joke?
No, this is.
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"Don't eat the crab dip." Yeah.
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[###]
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Ahh! You hear that, Annie?
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That's the sound of
STDs screaming,
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[IN HIGH-PITCHED VOICE]
"No, stop being so aware of us."
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[BOTH LAUGH]
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[IN NORMAL VOICE]
And it's all thanks to you.
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I was voted "most likely to succeed"
at my rehab clinic.
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Well, in recognition
of all your hard work,
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I have decided that you should
conduct the condom demonstration.
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You're gonna be center stage
showing everyone
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how to put a condom on a, uh...
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Well, what my dad called
a Jimmy Carter.
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Um, I don't know if
I'm the right person.
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Don't worry. Not a real one.
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No, it's an anatomically correct
model, you know.
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But trust me, eyes closed,
you can't tell the difference.
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Mmm. Okay.
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[WHIMPERS]
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[###]
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[PHONE RINGING]
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Hey, it's Jeff Winger.
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Well, I wanted to see
what you were doing tonight.
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Do I know your name?
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What kind of question is that?
Of course I know.
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Well, if I answer now,
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you'll never learn
a valuable lesson about trust,
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Jennifer.
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Crap. Ugh.
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Pierce really got to you, huh?
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It has been a dry spell. But it's been a
while since I've tried. So I'm trying.
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Yeah, I can see that.
This is a lot of outgoing calls.
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"Car Wash Redhead."
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"Tube Top R.E.M. Concert."
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"Juror Number 6."
That sounds above board.
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At least you have "Mommy" in here.
That's not my mom.
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Dude, not cool.
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You saying "dude" is not cool.
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What are you doing?
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[PHONE RINGS]
[BRITTA CHUCKLES]
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"Hot Blonde Spanish Class"?
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You're welcome.
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This is the phone book
of a man in his 20s.
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The women literally have
no identities. It's pretty shallow.
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You're right.
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I can't believe I haven't
seen it before now.
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Whatever. I'm gonna go
study with Shirley.
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Well, I'll be here,
rethinking my way of life.
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Mm.
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[###]
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Call "Mommy."
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Guys, I have a problem.
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The dean wants me to demonstrate
proper use of a condom
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at the stupid fair, by putting one on
a mannequin's stupid thingamabob.
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It's a big honor
but I'm gonna screw it up.
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Well, it's easy enough to practice.
Britta, do you have a banana?
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This is an anatomically correct model
I'll be handling.
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Real whatchamacallits
are nothing like bananas.
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Are they?
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Have you never seen one?
Shh!
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Annie, being a virgin in this day
and age is something to be proud of.
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You're like a unicorn.
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I'm not a unicorn.
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I had relations with
my high school boyfriend.
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We did it to Madonna's Erotica
on the floor of his walk-in closet.
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But he wouldn't let me look at it.
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He cried after and during.
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He's gay now.
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[WHISPERS]
I think he was gay then.
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So you never seen one
when you were growing up?
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Like, you know, on the Internet,
in a picture, or Harvey Keitel's?
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00:06:47,907 --> 00:06:52,173
I've caught glimpses but I've never
got a real good look at one.
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What I need to do is practice
on the actual model.
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But the dean has it
locked in his office.
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Okay, that's easy.
We'll go to him, ask him if we...
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00:06:59,919 --> 00:07:03,650
No. This is really embarrassing.
I don't want anyone to know.
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I just wanna figure out how to do it
and get it over with.
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The dean is counting on me,
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and I want him to know
that I'm someone he can trust.
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We have to break into his office.
156
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I actually have no problem with that.
I think I could do that.
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[CARNIVAL MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]
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Oh, hello, Jeffrey.
Hi, Pierce.
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I was just going into the fair
to wait for my smoking-hot date.
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That's nice.
How about you?
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Were you ever able to, you know,
come up with a date?
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00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:39,049
No, no, because I didn't try,
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because taking a date
to an STD fair would be lame.
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00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:45,422
Don't worry about it, kid.
You're going through a dry spell.
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From my experience, they don't last
any more than 12, 13 years.
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Excuse me.
167
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No gonorrhea,
please, please, please.
168
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No gonorrhea.
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00:08:00,413 --> 00:08:02,176
Ow! It burns.
170
00:08:02,381 --> 00:08:03,575
Oh! That's gonna hurt.
Gross.
171
00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:07,480
Dean, your assistant, is she single?
What are her likes and dislikes?
172
00:08:07,687 --> 00:08:10,554
Yes, on single.
She likes hip-hop and horses.
173
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Dislikes beards and...
Yeah, I was done talking.
174
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Is it me or are horses
the most beautiful creatures?
175
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They're so majestic.
Totally.
176
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Just this morning, when I was shaving
and listening to the new Jay-Z,
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I was thinking how I wanna
squeeze in a gallop this weekend.
178
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Do you own a horse?
179
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Can you ever really own a horse?
180
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JEFF: Pierce.
Yeah?
181
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This is Sabrina.
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Thirty seconds
after you walked away,
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I asked her to be my date
and she said yes.
184
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You must have a great personality.
Thank you.
185
00:08:48,728 --> 00:08:51,390
Congratulations, Jeff, you proved me wrong.
You got a girl.
186
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:52,689
Yeah, I did.
Oh.
187
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:55,592
This is Doreen.
Ready for our double-date?
188
00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:58,497
Yes, I am.
Wait, how'd you do that?
189
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[###]
190
00:09:02,308 --> 00:09:05,004
Is this the best safe-sex fair
or what?
191
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:06,610
Ha-ha-ha!
Check out these condoms.
192
00:09:06,812 --> 00:09:09,280
All along the side it says,
"Greendale."
193
00:09:09,482 --> 00:09:11,848
Exclamation point, my idea.
194
00:09:12,051 --> 00:09:14,212
[BOTH CHUCKLING]
195
00:09:14,420 --> 00:09:19,949
Wow. Me, in a dune buggy, with syphilis.
This is going on the fridge.
196
00:09:20,159 --> 00:09:23,026
Heh, heh. Look how gorgeous
Doreen is tonight.
197
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:25,927
Hey, can we...?
198
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:28,657
Let's lay out our plans
for the evening.
199
00:09:28,868 --> 00:09:30,859
You wingman me, I wingman you.
200
00:09:31,070 --> 00:09:34,130
Maybe we split up
for a little hoo-ha
201
00:09:34,340 --> 00:09:39,004
and then meet in the morning
for eggs and details.
202
00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:42,977
That sounds like the worst
combination plate ever.
203
00:09:43,783 --> 00:09:45,216
Thanks.
Argh!
204
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,478
I can't believe you beat me again.
205
00:09:48,688 --> 00:09:50,519
Do you want my stuffed animal?
Gah!
206
00:09:52,792 --> 00:09:54,726
We're arm wrestling.
207
00:09:56,028 --> 00:09:59,486
Like Stallone in Over the Top. I don't know the rules.
Don't I need a semi-truck and a son?
208
00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:03,294
The rules are, "You suck." Let's go.
209
00:10:03,603 --> 00:10:06,003
Uh, I wanna wait for a more inspiring
song. This score isn't right.
210
00:10:06,205 --> 00:10:07,502
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]
211
00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:09,106
There we go.
212
00:10:20,353 --> 00:10:21,718
[PEOPLE LAUGHING]
213
00:10:28,961 --> 00:10:30,656
[YELLING]
214
00:10:33,432 --> 00:10:36,959
Oh, my God.
215
00:10:41,707 --> 00:10:43,436
You broke my hand, you bastard.
216
00:10:43,943 --> 00:10:45,240
[###]
217
00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:00,685
I can't do anything with this.
218
00:11:00,893 --> 00:11:02,986
No, let me see that.
219
00:11:04,497 --> 00:11:06,226
Oh, I can see through the door.
220
00:11:06,432 --> 00:11:07,592
[BRITTA AND ANNIE GASP]
221
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:10,394
Oh, yeah, there she blows.
222
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,537
I wanna see, I wanna see.
Shh!
223
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:14,399
Okay, go, go, go. Go ahead.
224
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:15,972
[BRITTA AND SHIRLEY GIGGLING]
225
00:11:16,175 --> 00:11:20,111
I'm the one that needs to see.
Okay, okay, okay.
226
00:11:20,546 --> 00:11:22,013
It's okay.
227
00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:27,853
Oh, boy.
228
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:29,677
[SNICKERING]
229
00:11:29,889 --> 00:11:33,381
Oh, I had it wrong.
230
00:11:34,093 --> 00:11:35,390
Is that considered large?
231
00:11:35,594 --> 00:11:37,152
Oh, no.
Yes.
232
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:39,388
[GASPS]
233
00:11:39,598 --> 00:11:42,066
What in the reverse Porky's
is going on here?
234
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:46,937
You know, Doreen
speaks six languages.
235
00:11:47,139 --> 00:11:49,664
You should hear her
order wine in French.
236
00:11:49,875 --> 00:11:52,673
Hey, honey, say,
"cabernet sauvigonenon."
237
00:11:52,878 --> 00:11:55,745
Pierce, you're embarrassing me.
You know a lot about wine?
238
00:11:55,948 --> 00:11:59,281
Well, I did have a client
who owned a vineyard in Napa.
239
00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:03,353
He was into S&M and merlot
so we called it S&M&M.
240
00:12:05,424 --> 00:12:07,551
Honey, you're boring
the crap out of Jeff.
241
00:12:08,594 --> 00:12:11,028
Be right back.
I have to make tinkles.
242
00:12:12,331 --> 00:12:15,061
Well then, I'm gonna go
get us another round.
243
00:12:16,368 --> 00:12:19,030
You know, you are not
what I expected.
244
00:12:19,238 --> 00:12:22,036
You're smart, you're classy,
you're not wearing go-go boots.
245
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,265
They're in the shop.
246
00:12:23,976 --> 00:12:25,671
You know,
despite what people think,
247
00:12:25,878 --> 00:12:29,575
I actually spend
most of my time talking.
248
00:12:29,782 --> 00:12:31,977
As men get older, they wanna
spend time with someone
249
00:12:32,184 --> 00:12:34,049
they can have a real
conversation with.
250
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:37,711
That is going to suck.
"Going to," Jeff?
251
00:12:37,923 --> 00:12:39,220
Come on, Sabrina's cute,
252
00:12:39,692 --> 00:12:43,458
but she thinks that Monty Python
is the evil snake from Harry Potter.
253
00:12:43,662 --> 00:12:47,462
Trust me, I know girls I can converse
with who are way more annoying.
254
00:12:47,666 --> 00:12:50,965
I will take "tinkles" over
"we need to talk" every time.
255
00:12:51,170 --> 00:12:52,831
Hey, babe.
256
00:12:53,038 --> 00:12:54,869
Ready to show me that Lexus?
257
00:12:55,074 --> 00:12:57,565
I thought you'd never ask.
258
00:12:59,178 --> 00:13:02,670
Doreen, it was very nice
to meet you.
259
00:13:03,282 --> 00:13:04,579
You can do better.
260
00:13:11,924 --> 00:13:13,221
Here.
261
00:13:13,425 --> 00:13:16,019
Oh, they already left?
What a couple of nincompoops.
262
00:13:16,862 --> 00:13:19,695
Before I buy dinner, I have to ask.
263
00:13:19,899 --> 00:13:22,629
Is there any lovemaking
on the table?
264
00:13:23,202 --> 00:13:24,965
We're through, Pierce.
265
00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:28,072
I'm gonna go to the bar
and you can join me if you'd like.
266
00:13:28,274 --> 00:13:30,640
And we can still have
a lovely evening,
267
00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:32,868
but it will cost you 200 bucks.
268
00:13:40,452 --> 00:13:42,818
That is a pretty big discount.
269
00:13:46,859 --> 00:13:49,054
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]
270
00:13:58,604 --> 00:14:01,664
I had no idea alcohol
would make people horny.
271
00:14:01,874 --> 00:14:03,501
It makes me sleepy. I don't...
272
00:14:03,709 --> 00:14:04,698
Dean?
Yeah.
273
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:07,435
We have a 597 currently
going on in your office.
274
00:14:07,646 --> 00:14:11,480
597? There's a dog-fighting ring
in my office?
275
00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:12,844
No.
276
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:17,084
Okay, I'm just gonna turn him around
and we're gonna cover him up.
277
00:14:17,289 --> 00:14:19,553
Okay, ladies, I am shocked
278
00:14:19,758 --> 00:14:22,090
at the reverse Porky's
that has happened here.
279
00:14:22,294 --> 00:14:25,923
I don't see what the big deal is.
Annie needed to look at the model of the pen...
280
00:14:26,131 --> 00:14:28,998
Okay, the P-word has
entered into play.
281
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:32,398
That's exactly why I wanted Gayle,
our school counselor here,
282
00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:35,165
and Monique, who's keeping
record, to ensure
283
00:14:35,374 --> 00:14:38,775
we discuss these sensitive topics
in a legally appropriate manner.
284
00:14:38,978 --> 00:14:40,775
I think everyone should say "penis"
285
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:44,279
so we can take away the
negative power of the word, yeah?
286
00:14:44,483 --> 00:14:45,745
So everybody.
287
00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:48,078
ALL: Penis.
She didn't say it.
288
00:14:48,287 --> 00:14:51,188
Now why did you break in
to see the penis?
289
00:14:51,390 --> 00:14:54,518
Wow, I really do feel more
comfortable saying that now, Gayle.
290
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:59,687
I just wanna focus on the girl
who won't say "penis."
291
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,526
[###]
292
00:15:08,741 --> 00:15:12,370
This is a judgment-free zone,
so express yourself.
293
00:15:16,715 --> 00:15:18,774
You know what?
294
00:15:18,984 --> 00:15:21,817
I don't want to express myself.
295
00:15:22,821 --> 00:15:27,622
I don't wanna sit in a room
full of people and say the P-word.
296
00:15:27,826 --> 00:15:29,555
I like being repressed.
297
00:15:29,762 --> 00:15:33,960
I am totally comfortable being
uncomfortable with my sexuality.
298
00:15:34,400 --> 00:15:38,803
And maybe, just maybe, if everyone
were a little more like me,
299
00:15:39,004 --> 00:15:41,939
we wouldn't have to have
an STD fair.
300
00:15:42,141 --> 00:15:44,268
BRITTA: You go, girl.
That's my pumpkin.
301
00:15:44,843 --> 00:15:45,867
Mm-hm.
302
00:15:46,812 --> 00:15:49,303
By the way, now that I've gotten
a good look at one,
303
00:15:49,515 --> 00:15:51,642
I don't see what all the fuss
was about.
304
00:15:51,850 --> 00:15:55,251
A giant thumb in a turtleneck.
Whoop-dee-doo!
305
00:15:57,156 --> 00:15:58,589
[###]
306
00:15:58,791 --> 00:16:00,782
[KISSING SOUNDS]
[SABRINA MOANING]
307
00:16:04,596 --> 00:16:08,828
You have a really awesome body.
You probably hear that all the time.
308
00:16:09,034 --> 00:16:10,228
Not as much as I should.
309
00:16:10,436 --> 00:16:11,460
[GIGGLES]
310
00:16:11,837 --> 00:16:13,930
Ohh. Professor.
311
00:16:15,941 --> 00:16:17,533
What?
312
00:16:17,743 --> 00:16:18,801
I'm not a professor.
313
00:16:19,511 --> 00:16:22,275
But you're at Greendale
and you're old.
314
00:16:23,115 --> 00:16:24,139
I'm a student.
315
00:16:24,717 --> 00:16:25,775
Yikers.
316
00:16:25,985 --> 00:16:28,920
Yeah. It's pretty much
yikers for me too.
317
00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:34,149
Well, I guess I can make
an exception, professor.
318
00:16:34,526 --> 00:16:35,686
[GIGGLES]
319
00:16:41,567 --> 00:16:44,832
You know, I can't do this.
320
00:16:45,037 --> 00:16:46,368
What?
321
00:16:46,572 --> 00:16:47,664
But this is your car.
322
00:16:47,873 --> 00:16:50,205
Keep it.
But...
323
00:16:51,810 --> 00:16:53,243
[###]
324
00:16:54,246 --> 00:16:58,148
Yes, yes, yes.
325
00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,910
How do you like those apples?
326
00:17:01,120 --> 00:17:04,715
I don't like those apples.
I'm so upset.
327
00:17:04,923 --> 00:17:07,483
It was just a fluke
I won those other games.
328
00:17:07,693 --> 00:17:09,058
Troy.
329
00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:10,955
[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS]
330
00:17:11,163 --> 00:17:15,099
Wow, this may be the only STD fair
to actually spread STDs. Ha, ha.
331
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:16,767
Shut up, Ben.
332
00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:21,269
MAN:
Condom water balloon fight!
333
00:17:21,874 --> 00:17:23,705
[LAUGHING]
334
00:17:24,643 --> 00:17:26,270
What the hell?
335
00:17:26,478 --> 00:17:27,706
Dude, these are leaking.
336
00:17:27,913 --> 00:17:29,881
Ho-ho-ho! Oh, my God.
337
00:17:30,082 --> 00:17:32,448
That's why you don't
print things on condoms.
338
00:17:32,651 --> 00:17:35,677
Everyone's getting preggers
and it's all your fault.
339
00:17:39,091 --> 00:17:40,524
[###]
340
00:17:43,128 --> 00:17:44,288
Oh, man.
341
00:17:44,496 --> 00:17:47,431
Troy, all the condoms are faulty.
342
00:17:47,633 --> 00:17:51,296
As the best athlete on campus,
I need you to run to my office
343
00:17:51,503 --> 00:17:54,438
and make an announcement
before everyone leaves.
344
00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:59,600
Dean, I am not the best
athlete on campus.
345
00:18:00,412 --> 00:18:02,437
Abed is.
346
00:18:02,648 --> 00:18:05,412
I know you let me win the race.
But you didn't say anything.
347
00:18:05,617 --> 00:18:09,314
That's because
I wanted it to be true.
348
00:18:09,955 --> 00:18:12,947
You're a really good friend.
No, Abed.
349
00:18:15,461 --> 00:18:17,156
You are.
For the love of God, run.
350
00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:18,920
Okay.
351
00:18:19,765 --> 00:18:20,993
TROY:
Go, Abed, go.
352
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,361
Before people sex one another.
353
00:18:23,569 --> 00:18:24,763
[###]
354
00:18:28,207 --> 00:18:29,299
There he is.
355
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:31,810
Back already. Detail time?
356
00:18:32,010 --> 00:18:33,637
I stopped.
357
00:18:33,846 --> 00:18:36,781
I don't know what's wrong with me.
I mean, she's hot.
358
00:18:36,982 --> 00:18:39,280
I think this place is sapping
my life force.
359
00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:43,512
Oh, it's not Greendale, Jeff, it's you.
You're becoming more mature.
360
00:18:43,722 --> 00:18:45,349
A man reaches a point in his life
361
00:18:45,557 --> 00:18:49,084
where he stops looking for
a place to hang his underwear
362
00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:51,694
and starts looking for a place
to hang his hat.
363
00:18:53,098 --> 00:18:57,467
Oh, I'm sorry. I was waiting for that
to become inappropriate or racist.
364
00:18:57,669 --> 00:18:59,569
What happened to Doreen?
365
00:18:59,771 --> 00:19:01,170
Oh, uh,
366
00:19:01,373 --> 00:19:03,967
she said if I wanted to continue,
I would have to pay.
367
00:19:04,443 --> 00:19:06,843
Oh, man, that is rough.
368
00:19:07,045 --> 00:19:08,376
No, it was a wake-up call.
369
00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:11,174
Doreen is a very special lady.
I did not treat her right.
370
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,375
I have stuff to work on, you know?
371
00:19:14,219 --> 00:19:15,550
You'll get there.
372
00:19:17,322 --> 00:19:19,654
We're both gonna get there.
373
00:19:21,426 --> 00:19:22,859
Here's to being better men.
374
00:19:24,730 --> 00:19:26,163
Cheers.
375
00:19:27,499 --> 00:19:29,831
So can I borrow 200 bucks?
376
00:19:32,604 --> 00:19:34,367
Tell Doreen I say hi.
377
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,575
You know, for 220, I can get...
378
00:19:38,777 --> 00:19:41,302
I'll give you 250 if
you don't finish telling me.
379
00:19:41,513 --> 00:19:43,242
Now I can get it twice.
380
00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:46,383
Ah, college.
Best years of our lives.
381
00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:48,815
[THE FRATELLIS' "WHISTLE
FOR THE CHOIR" PLAYING]
382
00:19:49,021 --> 00:19:50,079
Oop.
383
00:20:14,646 --> 00:20:16,045
[MICROPHONE SQUEALS
OVER PA]
384
00:20:16,248 --> 00:20:17,909
ABED [OVER PA]:
Attention, Greendale students.
385
00:20:18,116 --> 00:20:19,879
Don't use the condoms.
386
00:20:20,085 --> 00:20:24,852
If you're going to have sex tonight,
don't use condoms.
387
00:20:31,129 --> 00:20:33,962
"The characteristic of an acid
to donate or accept a proton"
388
00:20:34,166 --> 00:20:36,634
cannot be quantified
for individual species.
389
00:20:36,835 --> 00:20:38,962
Comparing two
donor-acceptor systems,
390
00:20:39,171 --> 00:20:44,438
"the proton transposition
HA plus H2O..."
391
00:20:59,891 --> 00:21:02,325
Abed?
Yeah, Troy?
392
00:21:02,894 --> 00:21:04,862
Can you get me a glass of water?
393
00:21:05,063 --> 00:21:06,428
Sure.
394
00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,324
Thank you, Abed.