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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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Well, my brainy little babies,
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I have officially been
thrown off the Harvard teat.
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I thought you were
fired a long time ago.
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Oh, I was, Marcus, yeah.
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I was kicked off the
salary and housing teat,
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but I was able to remain firmly latched
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on to their phone-plan teat.
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- _
- Guys, if he says "teat" one more time,
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we might be able to get him fired.
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Let's try and stay focused
on my phone, Sarika.
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Uh, now, before you suggest
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that I just go to a phone store
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and sign up for my own plan...
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How is that not the solution?
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Well, Anthony, because I have... Anyone?
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Atrocious credit. Yeah, yeah.
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No carrier will trust
me, so I am off the grid
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until I come up with a solution.
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Are you saying you have no phone?
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Like, for good?
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- That's what I'm saying.
- Are you gonna die?
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I mean, there's an outside chance
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you could get on my family's plan.
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Yeah, I mean, my parents would have
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to get to know you a little better,
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but we could schedule
a series of dinners.
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You know what? I would
dislike that, Marcus.
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- I would dislike that very much.
- Yeah.
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But...
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the notion of piggybacking
on somebody else's phone plan
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is very intriguing.
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♪ A.P. Bio 2x10 ♪
Handcuffed
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- Synced and corrected by Firefly -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
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What up, Helen DeGeneres?
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How's my little puppy bird?
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You know. Uh, is Principal Durbin ready
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for me to interview him
for the school paper?
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Uh, ready? He is so excited.
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We're gonna have to
wait a second, though,
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because he's in there
delivering a bummer bomb.
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Gary, no one has signed up
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for Coin Club in three years.
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I had to cut something.
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One of these days, you're gonna find
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a beautiful Sacagawea,
and you're gonna be like,
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"Where's Gary? I want to talk about it."
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And I'm gonna be... poof... ghost.
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Oh, God. I...
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I hate, hate giving people bad news.
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Their faces... they look like
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teddy bears in a Dumpster.
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You're the principal. Let it rip.
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You can tell them whatever you want.
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I know, but I...
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Ugh. I just feel sick.
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I feel sick, too.
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Though it could be because I ate a
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shellacked caramel off a old
Christmas ornament last night.
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I can be honest with you guys.
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Gonna try to work it out.
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Drop it down the pike.
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So...
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how are things with Seth?
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- Good.
- Mm.
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Ugh. Ugh.
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Mm-hmm.
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- Mary, you want some?
- No.
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So he took you out again last night?
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Sort of.
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Uh, sort of?
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Uh, we got subs and ate
them at the Laundromat.
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So, yeah, I took her out.
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Oh, you're not a fan of restaurants?
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Whoa, someone's a frickin' millionaire.
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- What?
- I'm a substitute teacher.
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So we each grabbed three on a six-inch.
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- We did.
- Mm-hmm.
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And you call this a date?
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Um, let's just say
that the changing table
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in the bathroom didn't break itself.
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We did... with sex.
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Ow! [BLEEP].
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Ooh. Said I was gonna get you.
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Ha ha!
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Catch ya later, masturbator.
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So has he met the parents?
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Ah, he needs to go.
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It's just that he's subbing here,
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and I can't just ghost
him like I usually do.
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Yeah.
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Now, which one of you is
gonna help me get rid of him?
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Oh, not us. We are done.
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Every time we help you get rid of a guy,
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you wind up getting back together.
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- Mm-mm.
- You backslide.
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It's an exhausting
cycle to watch and judge.
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Oh, come on...
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Hey, hey, ladies, we're
all basically, like,
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friends and family at this point, right?
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I am finding it impossible
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to secure a cell phone plan
under my name.
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Ah, and you want to
piggyback on one of our plans.
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- Ha.
- Jack, I have way too many cousins
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for you to doggy-style on my plan.
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Okay, well, it's piggyback, but, yeah.
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Uh, you know, Jack, my
family plan is da bomb,
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and I'll let you get in on it.
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- Yes!
- But you have to do
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something for me in return.
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You have to help me kick my
current boyfriend to the curb.
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Okay, well, that actually
sounds kind of fun.
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But that's not the hard part.
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The hard part is helping
me stay broken up with him,
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'cause "Today Mary" is gonna want to
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break up with that little scuzz,
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but "Tomorrow Mary" is
gonna go scuzz-blind.
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You know, this all sounds
very doable. I am in.
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Okay. Very nice doing business with you.
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Oh, wonderful.
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Wonderful doing business with you.
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Yes! Nice. What?
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You have no idea the job
you just signed on for.
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There is nothing more
powerful than the bond
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between a Mary and her scuzz.
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- Backslide, Jack.
- Backslide.
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- Don't move!
- Jeez!
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God, okay...
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- Hi.
- Hey.
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Um, Mr. Griffin, what are
you doing in my math class?
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Whoa. It's like seeing
a tiger in the wild.
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Uh, Seth.
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Hi, I'm uh, Jack
Griffin. I teach A.P. Bio.
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So you're subbing here?
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Yep, yep. Anywhere that needs me.
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- Ah.
- Kids really dig me.
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I always play the first
48 minutes of a movie.
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I've seen the first half of a lot
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of really good flicks.
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Love it, I love it, I love it.
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- And no shoes. Very cool.
- Ah.
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So I have something very sensitive
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in nature to talk to you about.
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Um, gang, if you could just
go ahead and move your bodies
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to the back of the class,
and, you know, face the wall,
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like "Blair Witch" style.
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Heather, you want to...?
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Yeah.
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All right, move it or lose it, D-bags.
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Uh, is that in, like...
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is that in the second
half of "Blair Witch"?
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Hey, so, um, I'm a friend of Mary's
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and, well, she's asked
me to tell you it's been
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a tepid ride, but, uh, it's over, okay?
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All right.
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Wait, are you... are you serious?
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- C-can we talk about that?
- With me? No. No, no, no.
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I-I'm not really up
to speed on most of it.
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I just, uh... you know,
just the messenger here.
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I just know it's over, you know?
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So, uh, my work is sort of done here.
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I just... I'm gonna go talk
to her, because once she...
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No, no, no.
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I'm handling this.
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Oh.
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Oh, God.
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When a man cries, nothing feels safe.
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He did not take it well.
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Are you breaking it off with Seth?
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Hey! Stop snooping.
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Go ahead, Jack. I'll cover.
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La, la, la, la, la, la, la, la, la...
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All right. Uh, yeah, he
just... he wouldn't accept it.
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All right? He was crying,
and he wants to talk.
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Damn it, Jack. Ugh. Cover me.
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Oh. ♪ La, la, la, la, la... ♪
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You were supposed to
handle this, you know,
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like family, not just phone it in.
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Yeah, we can definitely
still hear you back here.
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Oh, my God. Just plug each other's ears.
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Look, don't worry about
it. I got you, okay?
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I'll come over later, and
I'll help you break it off.
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Um, no, no, no. We got
to do it at your place.
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Otherwise I'm gonna end
up hooking up with him.
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Uh, well, no, we can... what?
You can't break up at my place.
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Well, do you want to be
on my phone plan or not?
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Yes. Okay, fine. Fine, all right?
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But we got to do it fast,
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'cause Lynette's coming over later.
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Ooooh.
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Marcus, how is it that
you're still hearing this?
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My fingers are too
small for his ear canals.
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They're huge.
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Don't brag about that.
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♪ Sex is horrible ♪
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00:08:04,201 --> 00:08:07,387
♪ And no one really likes it ♪
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00:08:07,412 --> 00:08:08,982
So that's what I play whenever I,
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00:08:09,007 --> 00:08:10,847
uh, catch a kid with a condom.
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Mm, my readers will love this.
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Oh, and this what I play
whenever I catch a student
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with drugs.
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♪ Meth gives you joy
only Gods can experience ♪
202
00:08:21,889 --> 00:08:23,797
♪ But don't do it ♪
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00:08:23,837 --> 00:08:25,916
Ralph, time to break some spirits.
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00:08:25,941 --> 00:08:27,449
- Coach is here.
- Already?
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00:08:27,474 --> 00:08:30,042
Oh, boy. You can stay Anthony.
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00:08:34,376 --> 00:08:35,928
Coach, I, uh...
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00:08:36,592 --> 00:08:39,872
I have some bad news I wish
I could protect you from.
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00:08:39,897 --> 00:08:41,637
You don't got to
sugarcoat it for me, Ralph.
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00:08:41,662 --> 00:08:43,141
I'm not one of your book teachers.
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All right, uh, well, um...
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00:08:45,088 --> 00:08:46,995
I don't know how, uh...
212
00:08:47,387 --> 00:08:50,567
It seems that there's a, uh...
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00:08:50,756 --> 00:08:53,155
Uh, well, I'm...
doesn't... It actually is...
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00:08:53,944 --> 00:08:55,264
I'm sorry, uh...
215
00:08:57,092 --> 00:08:58,917
We're gonna let...
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00:08:59,343 --> 00:09:02,487
the marching band and the football team
217
00:09:02,512 --> 00:09:06,072
share practice time
on the football field.
218
00:09:06,097 --> 00:09:09,179
What? No way. It's not...
it's not called a band field.
219
00:09:09,204 --> 00:09:10,641
Uh, that's a good point.
220
00:09:10,666 --> 00:09:12,890
You know what? I'm gonna,
uh, talk to the band director.
221
00:09:12,915 --> 00:09:14,937
Maybe we could, uh, find a...
222
00:09:14,962 --> 00:09:17,750
Oh, my God. Move over.
223
00:09:18,907 --> 00:09:21,014
The band's gonna use
the field sometimes.
224
00:09:21,039 --> 00:09:23,157
This is happening to you.
225
00:09:23,657 --> 00:09:24,987
Deal with it.
226
00:09:25,155 --> 00:09:27,235
Ralph, does the confident child speak
227
00:09:27,260 --> 00:09:28,600
on your behest for you?
228
00:09:31,957 --> 00:09:34,247
Our talk is done. Shoo.
229
00:09:34,697 --> 00:09:37,190
Shoo? You're gonna shoo me? Shoo you.
230
00:09:37,215 --> 00:09:39,167
Kids talk to me like that? Jesus Christ.
231
00:09:39,192 --> 00:09:40,573
That was amazing!
232
00:09:40,598 --> 00:09:41,747
Anthony!
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00:09:41,787 --> 00:09:43,187
I have to deliver bad news all day.
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00:09:43,212 --> 00:09:45,422
Is there any chance you'd want to sit in
235
00:09:45,447 --> 00:09:47,667
on some of these sessions?
236
00:09:47,692 --> 00:09:49,432
Okay, I can sweeten the deal.
237
00:09:49,457 --> 00:09:53,817
I got an Amazon gift card for Christmas,
238
00:09:53,887 --> 00:09:55,667
but there's not a slot
on my computer for it,
239
00:09:55,692 --> 00:09:56,762
so...
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00:09:58,977 --> 00:10:00,277
Sure.
241
00:10:09,647 --> 00:10:10,857
Okay.
242
00:10:12,850 --> 00:10:14,890
All right. Listen...
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00:10:15,327 --> 00:10:16,417
Mare-bear.
244
00:10:16,697 --> 00:10:18,047
Tell me that he's a liar.
245
00:10:18,274 --> 00:10:19,857
Because I know that you love me.
246
00:10:19,882 --> 00:10:22,022
You even said that you
love how my back smells.
247
00:10:22,158 --> 00:10:24,487
No, I just said, "Your back smells."
248
00:10:25,792 --> 00:10:28,682
Seth, I'm looking for something else.
249
00:10:28,707 --> 00:10:31,187
But, Mary, just think of all
the fun that we could have.
250
00:10:31,212 --> 00:10:33,602
I just got us tickets
to see Michael McDonald
251
00:10:33,627 --> 00:10:35,187
in concert next month.
252
00:10:35,514 --> 00:10:38,912
I mean... I mean, if you
already got the tickets, then...
253
00:10:38,937 --> 00:10:40,782
Mary, he doesn't have the tickets.
254
00:10:40,807 --> 00:10:42,762
- I'm gonna get the tickets.
- He's gonna get the tickets.
255
00:10:42,786 --> 00:10:43,952
- Yeah. He's never...
- Yeah, I'm gonna get...
256
00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,477
- No, he's never gonna get the tickets.
- I said I was gonna get...
257
00:10:45,501 --> 00:10:46,953
- He will not get the tickets!
- I need to get paid,
258
00:10:46,977 --> 00:10:48,705
- then I can buy the tickets.
- Mary, end this.
259
00:10:48,729 --> 00:10:49,946
You're a strong woman.
260
00:10:49,971 --> 00:10:52,437
I've seen you kick a
coffee table across a lobby.
261
00:10:56,777 --> 00:10:58,776
Seth, have a happy life.
262
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:02,089
No. I'm not going anywhere...
263
00:11:03,003 --> 00:11:04,187
until you take me back.
264
00:11:04,889 --> 00:11:07,102
Wait. What? Wait. Are those...
265
00:11:07,553 --> 00:11:08,704
Uh, that's not good.
266
00:11:09,726 --> 00:11:11,086
- Whatever. Bye.
- Where you going?
267
00:11:11,111 --> 00:11:13,007
No, no, no. No, no, no.
268
00:11:13,032 --> 00:11:14,512
You're not... no. Oh.
269
00:11:16,480 --> 00:11:17,775
Oh.
270
00:11:22,522 --> 00:11:23,587
Did she...
271
00:11:23,611 --> 00:11:24,625
She left, right?
272
00:11:24,650 --> 00:11:26,470
Is that her car now?
273
00:11:29,073 --> 00:11:30,773
- Come on.
- Closer.
274
00:11:30,798 --> 00:11:33,315
Warmer. Warmer.
275
00:11:33,340 --> 00:11:35,269
Oh, stop tricking me into touching
276
00:11:35,294 --> 00:11:36,464
other parts of your body.
277
00:11:36,489 --> 00:11:38,270
Just tell me where the
keys to the cuffs are.
278
00:11:38,591 --> 00:11:39,697
I don't know.
279
00:11:40,454 --> 00:11:42,746
All right, man. You asked for this.
280
00:11:50,076 --> 00:11:52,120
- You gonna tell me?
- This is fine.
281
00:11:52,576 --> 00:11:55,007
It's kind of like a back massage.
282
00:11:55,982 --> 00:11:58,417
Oops. That step's
trying to steal my jeans.
283
00:11:58,442 --> 00:12:00,137
Oh, it got 'em.
284
00:12:00,162 --> 00:12:01,242
There they go.
285
00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,394
Yeah, that's what I'm working with.
286
00:12:03,419 --> 00:12:05,407
Oh, come on...
287
00:12:08,482 --> 00:12:09,487
- Hi.
- Hello.
288
00:12:10,960 --> 00:12:12,287
Oof. Okay.
289
00:12:12,765 --> 00:12:14,899
Three openers... Uh, you
look great, all right?
290
00:12:14,924 --> 00:12:17,052
You smell like lemons, and..
291
00:12:17,465 --> 00:12:19,750
Mary's ex-boyfriend is handcuffed
292
00:12:19,775 --> 00:12:21,447
to my dead mom's stair lift.
293
00:12:21,650 --> 00:12:23,329
- Hey, Lynette.
- Oh.
294
00:12:23,354 --> 00:12:25,426
Jack took off my pants
with this antique elevator.
295
00:12:25,451 --> 00:12:27,697
- No, that's... that's a lie.
- Hey, Seth.
296
00:12:27,722 --> 00:12:29,399
Hey, do you happen to
have my paycheck on you?
297
00:12:29,423 --> 00:12:31,098
I think it should be around $38.
298
00:12:31,123 --> 00:12:32,223
You know, I don't,
299
00:12:32,248 --> 00:12:34,919
and I think you broke even after taxes.
300
00:12:34,944 --> 00:12:36,348
Thanks, Obama.
301
00:12:37,334 --> 00:12:38,837
- Wine? Yeah.
- Love some.
302
00:12:38,877 --> 00:12:40,557
What are we thinking,
though, red or white?
303
00:12:42,270 --> 00:12:44,320
I don't really know
anything about birds.
304
00:12:44,501 --> 00:12:47,680
My hobby is stuffing
things... you know, taxidermy.
305
00:12:49,047 --> 00:12:52,086
And I guess I'd just rather
stuff birds because...
306
00:12:52,903 --> 00:12:54,733
So are you guys like a thing?
307
00:12:54,758 --> 00:12:56,394
Because you seem like
you're into each other,
308
00:12:56,418 --> 00:12:58,328
but you also seem like you're cousins.
309
00:12:58,353 --> 00:12:59,563
Like, I guess what I'm asking
310
00:12:59,588 --> 00:13:01,337
is what stuff are you guys doing?
311
00:13:01,362 --> 00:13:02,940
- Mostly outercourse.
- None of your business.
312
00:13:02,964 --> 00:13:04,712
"Outercourse"?
313
00:13:05,013 --> 00:13:07,839
Okay, well... I'll leave you guys to it.
314
00:13:12,437 --> 00:13:14,127
A man should have a hobby.
315
00:13:19,569 --> 00:13:23,242
Oh, man, these birds
are just so furious.
316
00:13:23,729 --> 00:13:25,243
- So mad.
- One second.
317
00:13:25,268 --> 00:13:26,876
I like it with the sound on.
318
00:13:26,901 --> 00:13:28,659
Do you? This is mine now.
319
00:13:29,706 --> 00:13:32,627
I mean, no phone plan is worth this.
320
00:13:32,652 --> 00:13:34,972
Hey, you know how you
get rid of me, right?
321
00:13:36,197 --> 00:13:37,551
You get me back with my love...
322
00:13:38,437 --> 00:13:39,707
my soul mate.
323
00:13:45,106 --> 00:13:47,487
Hey, look, nobody wants
to see you backslide
324
00:13:47,512 --> 00:13:48,727
any less than me, but...
325
00:13:49,155 --> 00:13:51,991
You should know Seth
is obsessed with you.
326
00:13:52,131 --> 00:13:53,772
He won't stop talking about you.
327
00:13:54,607 --> 00:13:55,827
Did he say obsessed, or...
328
00:13:55,867 --> 00:13:58,127
Uh-uh. Okay, I know that look.
329
00:13:58,177 --> 00:14:00,029
- Michelle, let's go.
- Yeah.
330
00:14:00,054 --> 00:14:02,567
I told you, Jack... backslide.
331
00:14:05,657 --> 00:14:06,667
See you.
332
00:14:08,545 --> 00:14:10,577
- Yeah.
- Oop.
333
00:14:10,841 --> 00:14:12,234
I'll find it. Yeah.
334
00:14:13,366 --> 00:14:15,276
Look, I'm... I'm telling you,
335
00:14:15,301 --> 00:14:17,197
this guy wants you back so badly,
336
00:14:17,237 --> 00:14:18,627
he went on a hunger strike.
337
00:14:19,129 --> 00:14:21,026
Oh, he must be out of his mind for me.
338
00:14:21,051 --> 00:14:22,641
Yeah. Oh, yeah, he's a mess.
339
00:14:22,665 --> 00:14:24,858
You know, I'm just gonna stay focused,
340
00:14:24,883 --> 00:14:26,247
and I'm not gonna think about him.
341
00:14:26,272 --> 00:14:27,752
- You are gonna be fine.
- Yeah.
342
00:14:27,777 --> 00:14:28,922
All right.
343
00:14:28,947 --> 00:14:30,817
- Okay.
- You got this.
344
00:14:34,817 --> 00:14:38,517
_
345
00:14:45,187 --> 00:14:46,887
Stay strong. Stay strong.
346
00:14:51,707 --> 00:14:53,577
Time to hit some peeps with bad news.
347
00:14:56,602 --> 00:15:00,070
Joyce, we moved your parking
spot to the auxiliary lot.
348
00:15:00,095 --> 00:15:01,315
It's a done deal.
349
00:15:01,340 --> 00:15:03,342
You see, that's not gonna work for me.
350
00:15:03,367 --> 00:15:06,287
I'm already getting up at
2:00 a.m. to take my nephew
351
00:15:06,327 --> 00:15:08,256
to the ER 'cause of his croup.
352
00:15:08,281 --> 00:15:10,637
- I says to my sister...
- Joyce. Joyce.
353
00:15:10,662 --> 00:15:11,962
Joyce!
354
00:15:12,674 --> 00:15:13,803
Not my business.
355
00:15:14,198 --> 00:15:15,777
Mute and scoot.
356
00:15:18,307 --> 00:15:20,637
All of your cleaning
supplies are being switched
357
00:15:20,662 --> 00:15:22,129
to generic and unscented.
358
00:15:22,154 --> 00:15:23,697
"Unscented"?
359
00:15:23,722 --> 00:15:27,007
You know what humans
do in bathrooms, right?
360
00:15:27,913 --> 00:15:29,507
You're with me on this, right, Durbin?
361
00:15:30,812 --> 00:15:32,053
Durbin's not here.
362
00:15:32,078 --> 00:15:34,227
Breathe out your mouth.
363
00:15:38,730 --> 00:15:40,588
Principal Durbin isn't
concerning himself
364
00:15:40,613 --> 00:15:42,529
with the casting of the school play.
365
00:15:42,554 --> 00:15:46,119
You can either play "Tree
in Distance" or quit.
366
00:15:46,144 --> 00:15:49,308
Great! I'll play the
tree. I don't mind at all.
367
00:15:49,341 --> 00:15:50,352
Oh.
368
00:15:58,467 --> 00:16:00,791
Right, new plan.
369
00:16:00,816 --> 00:16:04,198
So I'm texting Mary from
her ex-boyfriend's phone.
370
00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:05,478
I'm gonna trick her into getting back
371
00:16:05,502 --> 00:16:07,269
with that idiot so I can
get him out of my house.
372
00:16:07,293 --> 00:16:08,823
Uh, do you guys have any suggestions?
373
00:16:10,339 --> 00:16:12,788
I don't get it. Aren't
you Mary's friend?
374
00:16:12,813 --> 00:16:13,936
Of course. Yeah.
375
00:16:13,961 --> 00:16:16,614
Yeah, and didn't she offer
to put you on her family plan
376
00:16:16,639 --> 00:16:18,114
if you help her get rid of this guy?
377
00:16:18,139 --> 00:16:19,163
Yeah.
378
00:16:19,188 --> 00:16:21,773
And now you're trying to set her up
with the very same man
379
00:16:21,798 --> 00:16:24,847
who you yourself called
an idiot not moments ago?
380
00:16:27,551 --> 00:16:30,371
You guys... you all think I'm a bad guy?
381
00:16:31,621 --> 00:16:32,746
Is that what this is?
382
00:16:34,145 --> 00:16:35,607
Heather, where do you stand on this?
383
00:16:36,572 --> 00:16:38,312
I can't tell if you're doing a mission
384
00:16:38,337 --> 00:16:40,424
for Ms. Wagner or against her.
385
00:16:40,449 --> 00:16:42,418
I'm Team Griffin either way.
386
00:16:42,644 --> 00:16:45,907
Let's get her... or help her.
387
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,403
I guess you have to ask yourself
388
00:16:48,428 --> 00:16:50,454
if you really care about your friend.
389
00:16:53,283 --> 00:16:55,243
See, this is why I avoid friendships.
390
00:16:55,268 --> 00:16:56,567
Yeah, that's why.
391
00:16:58,122 --> 00:16:59,402
Now I'm gonna have to
figure out another way
392
00:16:59,426 --> 00:17:01,269
to get rid of this human pork rind.
393
00:17:03,261 --> 00:17:05,407
Guess I'm gonna have to do
it the old-fashioned way.
394
00:17:18,274 --> 00:17:19,354
Scuzz-blind.
395
00:17:20,707 --> 00:17:21,767
Wait, what?
396
00:17:28,166 --> 00:17:30,564
I'm sorry, Mary, did you
have the key the whole time?
397
00:17:30,589 --> 00:17:32,181
No. Seth was hiding it
398
00:17:32,206 --> 00:17:34,296
in a place I call his "secret pouch."
399
00:17:34,321 --> 00:17:35,501
And that's not my butt.
400
00:17:35,526 --> 00:17:37,288
No. What is happening? Why?
401
00:17:37,313 --> 00:17:39,319
We're back, baby.
402
00:17:39,344 --> 00:17:40,734
All right, I'm gonna pop upstairs,
403
00:17:40,759 --> 00:17:41,898
I'm gonna put my jeans back on,
404
00:17:41,922 --> 00:17:43,412
and then we're gonna scoot.
405
00:17:45,367 --> 00:17:48,027
- Oh, God.
- I know.
406
00:17:48,831 --> 00:17:51,215
Mary, you... you... you can't
get back together with that guy.
407
00:17:51,239 --> 00:17:53,147
Jack, don't worry. You're off the hook.
408
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:54,840
We'll go get you a
brand-new phone tomorrow
409
00:17:54,864 --> 00:17:56,047
and sign you up on my plan.
410
00:17:56,072 --> 00:17:58,129
No, but it... it... it
just don't feel right.
411
00:18:00,660 --> 00:18:01,784
Okay, Jackie boy.
412
00:18:01,809 --> 00:18:02,844
It's been a fun 24 hours,
413
00:18:02,869 --> 00:18:04,309
but it's time for me to get going.
414
00:18:04,506 --> 00:18:06,036
Yeah, that's my mother's luggage.
415
00:18:06,061 --> 00:18:07,084
Oh.
416
00:18:08,857 --> 00:18:11,747
Well, it's broken. Tell her that.
417
00:18:11,772 --> 00:18:12,862
All right, babe.
418
00:18:12,887 --> 00:18:14,591
I'm gonna go outside
and warm up the car...
419
00:18:15,212 --> 00:18:16,292
with my farts.
420
00:18:20,407 --> 00:18:22,624
Eh, diet starts tomorrow,
421
00:18:22,649 --> 00:18:24,196
but tonight I'm gonna go eat this cake.
422
00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:25,327
Wait, wait. Hold on one second.
423
00:18:25,351 --> 00:18:27,181
- I just...
- What the fudge?
424
00:18:27,206 --> 00:18:28,646
Uh-huh, yep. Nope.
425
00:18:28,671 --> 00:18:29,918
No, no, no. Nope, nope.
426
00:18:29,942 --> 00:18:31,382
You're not going with him. Let's go.
427
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:34,497
Jack, I am a grown-ass woman,
428
00:18:34,537 --> 00:18:37,401
and sometimes I want to make
bad decisions, so let me.
429
00:18:37,426 --> 00:18:40,086
No. I'm not letting you leave
until you've horned down a bit
430
00:18:40,111 --> 00:18:42,071
and promise me you are
done with that dude.
431
00:18:42,096 --> 00:18:43,851
Fine, then no phone plan for you.
432
00:18:44,327 --> 00:18:45,387
Fine.
433
00:18:46,547 --> 00:18:47,707
But I have something to say,
434
00:18:48,132 --> 00:18:50,197
and this is not gonna be one
of those things where I tell you
435
00:18:50,221 --> 00:18:52,521
that you are deserving
of someone far better than
436
00:18:52,546 --> 00:18:55,381
that human tapeworm out there
because you are a catch...
437
00:18:56,728 --> 00:18:58,305
and not just a Toledo catch,
438
00:18:58,330 --> 00:19:00,514
but, like, a regular, good-city catch.
439
00:19:01,776 --> 00:19:02,956
Instead, I'm gonna sit here with you
440
00:19:02,980 --> 00:19:04,807
until you come to that
conclusion on your own.
441
00:19:05,694 --> 00:19:08,094
And there is absolutely no way
I'm letting you go before then
442
00:19:08,119 --> 00:19:11,179
because I do not have the
keys to these handcuffs.
443
00:19:12,189 --> 00:19:14,099
I'm just now realizing that.
444
00:19:17,834 --> 00:19:18,924
Hello?
445
00:19:19,352 --> 00:19:21,779
Oh, uh, where's Principal Durbin?
446
00:19:22,428 --> 00:19:23,738
Take a seat.
447
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:26,073
Okeydokey.
448
00:19:26,098 --> 00:19:29,058
Didn't expect, uh... you to be here.
449
00:19:29,083 --> 00:19:30,563
So, uh...
450
00:19:30,588 --> 00:19:33,198
what is this meeting about?
451
00:19:36,321 --> 00:19:38,671
As you can see, you gave me a B-minus
452
00:19:38,696 --> 00:19:40,306
on my erosion diorama.
453
00:19:40,471 --> 00:19:42,161
I'll be damned if I'm
gonna let you keep me
454
00:19:42,186 --> 00:19:44,466
out of Georgetown, so
you're gonna give me an A,
455
00:19:44,963 --> 00:19:46,923
or we're gonna have to let you go.
456
00:19:50,311 --> 00:19:53,011
Oh, thank God. Anthony's
trying to fire me.
457
00:19:53,748 --> 00:19:54,858
What are you doing?
458
00:19:55,271 --> 00:19:57,011
I think something bit Anthony.
459
00:19:57,036 --> 00:19:58,170
Can you hear me?
460
00:19:58,195 --> 00:19:59,485
Quiet, Noodle Curls!
461
00:19:59,622 --> 00:20:02,667
You got a little too much
dip on your chip, buster.
462
00:20:02,717 --> 00:20:05,550
Get up, take your disrespectful butt
463
00:20:05,575 --> 00:20:07,159
straight to my office!
464
00:20:07,627 --> 00:20:08,698
Keep it moving!
465
00:20:08,723 --> 00:20:11,253
I'm sorry. I was trying
to help Principal Durbin.
466
00:20:11,855 --> 00:20:17,637
Dave, your classes are being
transferred to the trailer.
467
00:20:17,687 --> 00:20:18,897
What?
468
00:20:18,922 --> 00:20:20,914
Oh, come on.
469
00:20:20,939 --> 00:20:22,991
We're done talking. Shoo.
470
00:20:26,294 --> 00:20:28,904
Well, thank you so
much for ruining my day.
471
00:20:28,929 --> 00:20:30,679
I already sat in cornbread.
472
00:20:30,704 --> 00:20:33,144
Come on.
473
00:20:37,428 --> 00:20:39,226
Well, good work, Jack-In-The-Sweats.
474
00:20:39,267 --> 00:20:40,667
Yeah, nice job.
475
00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:42,800
Hey, I would do the
same for either of you.
476
00:20:43,059 --> 00:20:45,106
- Aw.
- Please don't break up my marriage.
477
00:20:45,131 --> 00:20:46,361
- Please.
- I'm not...
478
00:20:46,386 --> 00:20:47,965
Now, Stef, she could use a little help.
479
00:20:47,990 --> 00:20:49,473
I don't have a problem.
480
00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:52,458
I just like dating older Indian doctors.
481
00:20:52,726 --> 00:20:54,482
They're always secretly married.
482
00:20:54,507 --> 00:20:55,583
Not happily.
483
00:20:55,608 --> 00:20:57,088
And leaders of a sex cult.
484
00:20:57,113 --> 00:20:58,923
Not happily.
485
00:21:00,426 --> 00:21:01,871
Oh, I should head to class.
486
00:21:02,318 --> 00:21:03,838
Yep, I should probably head with you.
487
00:21:04,289 --> 00:21:05,459
Okeydokey.
488
00:21:05,484 --> 00:21:06,784
We can hit shop class at lunch.
489
00:21:06,809 --> 00:21:07,829
- Okay.
- You know?
490
00:21:07,854 --> 00:21:09,001
- Yeah, let's do that.
- Whoa.
491
00:21:09,025 --> 00:21:10,245
I got to say, though,
492
00:21:10,270 --> 00:21:12,540
- I, uh... I'm gonna miss this.
- Aw.