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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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Guys! I have a great idea for a prank.
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Before Holt comes in,
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I'm gonna put ink on the podium
where he puts his hands.
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I don't think he'll fall for that.
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- I did!
- How?
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I haven't even opened this yet.
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I guess it's unrelated.
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Captain Holt hates pranks.
This is gonna backfire, man.
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Ugh, fine, I'll tone it down. I'll...
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move his podium a foot to the left.
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What? He'll be so angry.
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- Okay, five inches.
- Five?
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- Three?
- Three?
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- One?
- One?
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All right. I'll move it a half inch.
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Fine. It's your funeral.
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Oh my god.
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Worst prank ever. So stupid.
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Holt's not even going to notice.
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Good morning.
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You guys...
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the podium, it's...
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Ha.
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You're crazy!
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How did you pull this off?
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Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.MY-SUBS.com
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Yes, Kevin, they moved it
a full half inch.
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I'll tell you the entire story tonight.
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I love you as well. Goodbye.
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Oh, that was a fun several moments.
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So, there's been a series of homicides.
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Three victims, all young men,
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each murdered in their own fashion.
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A serial killer? How'd they do it?
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Strangled? Mangled? Hung, i.e. dangled?
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Their bodies were disfigured.
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I.e. "mangled." Continue.
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Our killer cut the victims open
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and ripped out their hearts.
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Now, before I assign this case...
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- Five dollars!
- What?
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I'm bidding for it.
I want this so badly.
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- That's not how we...
- $20.
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Just to make this interesting.
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- $100 for Jake to have it!
- I was going to assign
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the case to you and Peralta
but perhaps I should
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- give it to Diaz instead.
- $200!
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It's not about the money, Boyle!
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Commissioner Kelly
is breathing down my neck.
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I need this case handled
professionally and maturely.
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Name one time
I haven't acted professionally.
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You're holding a juice box.
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It stops me from spilling my juice!
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Look, we can handle this, sir.
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Do we joke around sometimes?
Yes, but when it's time
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to buckle down,
we're seasoned professionals.
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That's why they call us the Spice Boys.
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They don't and they won't.
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Sir, I swear, give us a chance.
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We can get this guy.
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Fine. Case goes to the Spice Boys.
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- Please don't call us that.
- Too late.
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Spice Boy train has left the station.
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Toot toot!
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Hey, hey, check it out.
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It's my lieutenant start paperwork!
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It's gonna be so weird
not calling you Sarge anymore.
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Maybe I'll go by Loot. "Morning, Loot!"
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"Loot over here." "Let's invite Loot!"
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What do you think?
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I bet you're excited about
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the raise that comes
with your promotion.
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Well, Terry doesn't like
to talk about money, but, uh...
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Cha-ching!
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Now I can pay for Showtime.
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Find out who or what "SMILF" is!
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You know, some people say,
"Mo money, mo problems,"
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but those people are idiots.
Money's amazing.
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Wait, what?
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This says there's not enough money
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in the Nine-Nine's budget for my raise!
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What does that mean?
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They're going to transfer me!
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_
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Now, I know what you're thinking.
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Where'd Dem guts go?
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Uh, yeah.
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This guy needs a dentist,
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because he's got a big ol' cavity.
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I love that. I'm stealing it.
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You cannot steal what is a gift.
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Thank you. Okay, so whoever did this,
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they weren't careful with the organs.
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They just sorta grabbed
whatever and yanked.
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Title of your sex tape.
Oh, that's just something
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we say back at the Nine-Nine.
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Interesting, 'cause around
here sex tape is what
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we call the adhesive you use
to reattach a severed penis.
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Oh, I'll have to pick some of that up.
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- Why?
- Anyway...
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most of the killer's incisions
are very sloppy
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but then once he gets to the heart
they become very careful.
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I mean, look at the vena cava.
That's a clean cut.
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Game recognize game.
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Hmm. I like your style, Doctor Cox.
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Gentlemen! The Commissioner would like
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a status update on the case.
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Oh, come on Ray. You make it sound like
I'm puttin' the screws to ya.
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No, I just popped in to say
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if you don't solve these
murders immediately
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there's gonna be some
serious consequences.
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I'm just messin' with ya!
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Listen, you know what would
help you catch this guy?
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I just launched a new app, HotClues.
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Are you familiar with it?
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The one that allows civilians
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to submit anonymous tips
directly to the NYPD?
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Yes, I'm familiar with... HotClues.
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Great! You know, it's actually
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helped us solve 17 cases,
so I think we should ask
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for the public's help with this one.
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No, study after study has
shown that soliciting
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anonymous tips results in false
leads and wrongful convictions.
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Hmm. Tell me how you really feel.
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- I did.
- And I loved it! Such passion!
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But I think HotClues could help us here.
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No, we will solve
this case the proper way
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with actual police work
conducted by the two best
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- detectives in the NYPD.
- Captain!
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Well, I certainly hope
your methods work.
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For the sake of your careers.
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Bye now.
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Oof! Now that guy's
gonna need some sex tape.
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'Cause someone's
gonna cut his penis off.
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We are vibing!
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So... I found out where
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they're transferring me.
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And, you know, I'm feeling
pretty good about it.
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Oh! Somewhere nice? Upper West Side?
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No, even better.
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Staten Island!
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Good one, Loot.
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- Where you really going?
- No, I'm serious. Staten!
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Wait, they're transferring
you out of New York?
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It's part of the City!
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- Is it, though?
- Hey, Staten Island is great.
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It's got parks, loads of bike paths,
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tons of up and coming restaurants...
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I mean... easy access to New Jersey!
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You're lying. Your right pec is popping
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all over the place.
We all know that's your tell.
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Of course I'm lying! It's Staten Island!
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The precinct is the One-Two-Two.
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How the hell am I supposed
to chant One-Two-Two?
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One-Two-Two! One-Two-Two!
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I sound like a damn choo-choo train!
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Detectives, how's the case?
Any breakthroughs?
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Uh, well, we're still
in the early stages.
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Do you have a suspect or DNA evidence?
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Oh my god. I wish.
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Look, we need to solve
this to prove to that idiot
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John Kelly, how inane
and useless his little app is.
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Oh dip. I see what's going on.
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- Holt is feeling petty.
- I'm not being petty.
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I can assure you my feelings
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about John Kelly
are purely professional.
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Are they? Because every time his name
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is brought up in our group text
thread you immediately send back
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a super catty GIF of some lady
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from "The Durrells in Corfu"
rolling her eyes.
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That's Louisa Durrell, exasperated
by the pace of life on Corfu!
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Wait, the group text thread is back?
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- No.
- We misspoke.
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- Yeah.
- Look, if you can't solve this case,
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I'll reassign it to someone who can.
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Wait, no, no, no, no, no!
I have an idea.
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We need to get into the mind of a sicko.
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And the only way to do that is
with the help of another sicko.
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Jake! It's so good to see you!
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Come give me a hug,
I'm not going to eat you!
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Also, don't hug me
'cause I will try to eat you.
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This is such a surprise!
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I haven't seen you since
I transferred here!
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- How's Amy?
- She's great!
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We're married and she's a Sergeant now.
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- Wow!
- Yeah! How's everything here?
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You know, same old same old.
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- Guess who's here? Herman.
- Herman!
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Always playing Yahtzee,
knew everybody's name.
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- Worshipped Satan.
- Did he?
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He never mentioned that.
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- He wouldn't shut up about it.
- It is exhausting.
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Well, I'm Charles.
I'm Jake's best friend.
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Charles, he's serving
three life sentences.
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No need to flex.
So Caleb, we're tracking
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a serial killer and I was thinking
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you could help us get inside his head.
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Just because I ate humans
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doesn't mean that I'm inhuman, Jake.
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Caleb, come on. That's not what I meant.
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I'm just kidding.
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I'm probably friends
with the guy online.
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What's his deal?
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Well, he's been murdering young men
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and cutting out their hearts.
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Ew. What?
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I would never eat a heart.
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I stick to the normal stuff.
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Butts and thighs.
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One time I ate a foot, but it was nasty.
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- Yeah, I can see that.
- You know what?
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00:07:09,375 --> 00:07:11,709
There was some weird guy
on the forum recently.
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- The forum?
- Yeah, it's a chat room
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for people who like to talk
about eating human beings
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but definitely won't act on it.
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Wink. Yeah, it's hosted on...
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- Reddit.
- Obviously.
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Anyways, he showed up from out
of nowhere asking questions
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- about cutting out hearts.
- Really?
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Do you know anything else about him?
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I'd never seen him on there before
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but you could check the logs.
I'll approve you.
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- I'm an admin.
- Ah.
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Oh, you might want to switch
to incognito mode.
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Otherwise your targeted ads will
be pretty cannibal-specific.
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Ah, good to know.
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Well, it was good to see you, Caleb.
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Send me that info.
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00:07:42,553 --> 00:07:44,592
Hey Terry, you okay?
You skipped all your lunches.
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I'm going through the budget
to see if there's any way
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we could save enough money
for me to stay here.
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- You find anything yet?
- Yeah, we could
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00:07:50,266 --> 00:07:53,934
switch to generic printer ink,
cut down on custodial services,
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00:07:53,969 --> 00:07:55,836
and stop buying office birthday cakes.
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- Over my dead body!
- It's just an idea.
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- Well, take it off the table!
- Damn, Scully, fine.
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00:08:00,242 --> 00:08:01,709
We could stop paying
for an exterminator.
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00:08:01,744 --> 00:08:02,831
It's pointless. We all have guns.
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00:08:02,867 --> 00:08:03,885
Who am I kidding?
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We'll never save enough
to keep me at the Nine-Nine.
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You're right. The only way to free up
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that money is if you fire someone.
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00:08:09,651 --> 00:08:12,419
What? I can't just fire
someone without cause.
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Come on. We all know there's a
bunch of dead weight around here.
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Sloppy paperwork, penmanship fails,
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00:08:18,443 --> 00:08:20,644
phone etiquette that
makes me want to barf.
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Let's axe a dud!
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Damn, Amy.
I am loving this shade on you.
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00:08:24,433 --> 00:08:25,899
But Loot's right.
We can't just fire somebody.
250
00:08:25,934 --> 00:08:28,961
That said, you could
"inspire" somebody to quit.
251
00:08:29,320 --> 00:08:31,052
For example, Broadway Brian.
252
00:08:31,525 --> 00:08:33,874
Yes! Broadway Brian, of course!
253
00:08:33,909 --> 00:08:35,475
Who the hell is Broadway Brian?
254
00:08:35,510 --> 00:08:36,543
Brian in records.
255
00:08:36,578 --> 00:08:39,312
He's always talking about
what a great singer he is
256
00:08:39,347 --> 00:08:41,448
and how his dream is to be in musicals.
257
00:08:41,859 --> 00:08:44,284
You just need to convince him
to go for his dream.
258
00:08:44,319 --> 00:08:46,453
Oh, I don't know.
That feels underhanded.
259
00:08:46,488 --> 00:08:48,524
It's never underhanded to help
somebody follow their dream.
260
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:49,589
Yesterday, I was watching "Ellen,"
261
00:08:49,624 --> 00:08:51,424
and she had this woman on
who wanted to be a chef,
262
00:08:51,459 --> 00:08:53,093
but she didn't have any taste
buds, so she quit her job,
263
00:08:53,128 --> 00:08:54,561
hired her best friend
to be her taste tester.
264
00:08:54,596 --> 00:08:56,062
And now they have the best taco
truck in Lansing.
265
00:08:56,097 --> 00:08:57,430
It was inspiration as [bleep].
266
00:08:57,699 --> 00:08:58,733
Yeah.
267
00:08:58,988 --> 00:09:00,754
I'd just be helping him
follow his dream!
268
00:09:00,789 --> 00:09:02,356
I'd be doing him a favor!
269
00:09:02,392 --> 00:09:05,674
I'm going to inspire Brian's
ass right out of this office!
270
00:09:06,061 --> 00:09:07,360
For him, not me.
271
00:09:07,396 --> 00:09:09,443
Dreams, and whatnot, you know.
272
00:09:09,791 --> 00:09:11,833
Detectives, Commissioner Kelly is back
273
00:09:11,869 --> 00:09:13,496
and he found his way here on his own
274
00:09:13,531 --> 00:09:14,991
without any tips from the public.
275
00:09:15,027 --> 00:09:17,094
- How impressive is that?
- Well, thank you, Raymond.
276
00:09:17,130 --> 00:09:18,424
I just happened to be
in the neighborhood.
277
00:09:18,460 --> 00:09:20,059
Thought I'd check on your progress.
278
00:09:20,254 --> 00:09:22,355
Um, we have a solid lead.
279
00:09:22,390 --> 00:09:24,023
Suspicious online behavior
280
00:09:24,058 --> 00:09:26,192
from someone using the name Jamburger77.
281
00:09:26,227 --> 00:09:28,027
There's only one person
in the tri-state area
282
00:09:28,062 --> 00:09:29,796
with that surname... Eileen Jamburger.
283
00:09:29,981 --> 00:09:32,982
101 years old, and immediately
racist on the phone.
284
00:09:33,017 --> 00:09:34,484
She is not a suspect at this time.
285
00:09:34,519 --> 00:09:36,719
But the user did make
one non-cannibal post.
286
00:09:36,754 --> 00:09:40,266
A negative review of the
headroom in a 2006 Saturn Ion.
287
00:09:40,302 --> 00:09:41,402
Real creep car.
288
00:09:41,438 --> 00:09:44,039
So, we pulled records
on every 2006 Ion in the city
289
00:09:44,075 --> 00:09:45,383
and we're following up on them now.
290
00:09:45,419 --> 00:09:46,685
Well, I'll be.
291
00:09:46,721 --> 00:09:48,663
That's some nice police work, Peralta.
292
00:09:48,699 --> 00:09:50,233
- And Charles.
- I especially like how
293
00:09:50,268 --> 00:09:51,878
you found evidence, followed up on it,
294
00:09:51,914 --> 00:09:53,715
and it's lead you closer to a solve.
295
00:09:53,905 --> 00:09:55,738
No, I agree, Peralta.
It's excellent work.
296
00:09:55,773 --> 00:09:57,087
You must've hated saying that.
297
00:09:57,273 --> 00:09:59,458
No, I didn't. I like giving compliments.
298
00:09:59,493 --> 00:10:02,261
You have a nice deep voice.
It is very commanding.
299
00:10:02,296 --> 00:10:05,064
Cut the crap, John. You're furious!
300
00:10:05,099 --> 00:10:06,440
And everyone can tell!
301
00:10:07,580 --> 00:10:10,033
See? Very commanding.
302
00:10:10,069 --> 00:10:13,205
So, I know Raymond has
some issues with HotClues,
303
00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:15,174
but we did put the call out on the app
304
00:10:15,209 --> 00:10:17,343
and got a very promising tip.
305
00:10:17,378 --> 00:10:19,245
Look, we're not going
against our Captain.
306
00:10:19,280 --> 00:10:22,795
So this guy says
he saw someone covered in blood
307
00:10:22,831 --> 00:10:24,565
getting out of a Saturn Ion.
308
00:10:24,773 --> 00:10:26,273
But you don't need that tip
309
00:10:26,309 --> 00:10:29,677
because you are among the
best detectives in the NYPD!
310
00:10:31,525 --> 00:10:35,060
You're right, we don't need that tip!
311
00:10:35,095 --> 00:10:36,976
But seriously, send us that tip.
We need it.
312
00:10:37,808 --> 00:10:39,375
Hey, Brian! What are you up to?
313
00:10:39,528 --> 00:10:41,295
Typing in numbers into a computer.
314
00:10:41,385 --> 00:10:43,952
Like I always do endlessly
for 40-60 hours a week.
315
00:10:43,987 --> 00:10:46,390
Well, when you love what you do,
you don't work a day in your life!
316
00:10:46,924 --> 00:10:49,391
Unless, do you not love sad data entry?
317
00:10:49,426 --> 00:10:51,160
Well, my passion is performing.
318
00:10:51,195 --> 00:10:52,528
I do musical theater.
319
00:10:52,563 --> 00:10:54,579
- It's the hardest form of acting.
- I agree!
320
00:10:54,615 --> 00:10:57,015
I am always saying,
if you're not singing,
321
00:10:57,050 --> 00:10:58,412
- you're not acting.
- Right!
322
00:10:58,660 --> 00:11:00,351
It's probably hard to audition
323
00:11:00,387 --> 00:11:02,020
because you're always here, right?
324
00:11:02,055 --> 00:11:05,190
Yes! I had to pass up a chance
to read for "Seussical."
325
00:11:05,275 --> 00:11:07,042
You know Brian, this makes me think
326
00:11:07,077 --> 00:11:08,377
of something I saw on "Ellen."
327
00:11:08,412 --> 00:11:11,013
There was this lady,
she wanted to be a cook,
328
00:11:11,048 --> 00:11:12,814
but her tongue was all messed up,
329
00:11:12,849 --> 00:11:15,951
and she had this friend
who didn't even have a tongue...
330
00:11:15,986 --> 00:11:17,160
I mean, she did,
331
00:11:17,196 --> 00:11:20,697
and now they own a taco truck
in Lansing!
332
00:11:21,206 --> 00:11:22,273
Huh?
333
00:11:22,359 --> 00:11:23,725
Follow your dreams, man!
334
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:25,160
You gotta follow your dreams.
335
00:11:25,195 --> 00:11:26,767
Find your taco truck!
336
00:11:27,530 --> 00:11:29,788
Wow. Thank you.
337
00:11:29,954 --> 00:11:31,582
That gives me a lot to think about.
338
00:11:32,168 --> 00:11:33,468
So what did you come down here for?
339
00:11:33,503 --> 00:11:37,725
Oh, uh, I had to borrow...
340
00:11:37,761 --> 00:11:39,061
the water cooler!
341
00:11:39,409 --> 00:11:41,309
All right. Thanks, Brian.
342
00:11:41,444 --> 00:11:42,765
Think about what I said.
343
00:11:43,146 --> 00:11:46,014
So, the tipster saw
the Saturn parked out back
344
00:11:46,049 --> 00:11:47,282
and the woman at the desk said
345
00:11:47,317 --> 00:11:48,750
it belongs to the man in room 203.
346
00:11:48,785 --> 00:11:51,386
- One "Larry Bird."
- Obvious fake name.
347
00:11:51,421 --> 00:11:53,388
Or is it so insane that
there's no way it's fake?
348
00:11:53,423 --> 00:11:54,956
If you're trying not to draw attention,
349
00:11:54,991 --> 00:11:56,275
why not go with something
like "John Smith?"
350
00:11:56,311 --> 00:11:57,459
From "Pocahontas"?
351
00:11:57,594 --> 00:11:59,727
Uh, yeah. Way to fly under the radar.
352
00:12:00,463 --> 00:12:02,286
Excuse me, is there ice yet?
353
00:12:02,322 --> 00:12:03,797
Oh, I'm sorry. I don't work here.
354
00:12:03,833 --> 00:12:05,145
I'm a police officer.
355
00:12:05,181 --> 00:12:06,806
Well, then I'd like
to lodge a formal complaint.
356
00:12:06,842 --> 00:12:08,367
There hasn't been ice here for days
357
00:12:08,403 --> 00:12:10,270
and everyone knows
my wine coolers are supposed
358
00:12:10,306 --> 00:12:11,839
- to be served chilled.
- You're an adult.
359
00:12:11,875 --> 00:12:13,063
Why are you drinking wine coolers?
360
00:12:13,099 --> 00:12:14,858
- Because I'm on vacation.
- Okay.
361
00:12:15,044 --> 00:12:16,978
Well, I'll mention the ice.
362
00:12:17,014 --> 00:12:18,480
Thanks. Pig.
363
00:12:18,516 --> 00:12:19,583
Okay.
364
00:12:22,184 --> 00:12:23,518
Oh, it's Holt.
365
00:12:23,553 --> 00:12:24,485
I didn't tell him what we were doing.
366
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:25,542
I'll act natural.
367
00:12:25,578 --> 00:12:27,012
You're not gonna be on the phone call.
Just do nothing.
368
00:12:27,048 --> 00:12:28,158
Hey, Captain!
369
00:12:28,194 --> 00:12:29,728
What delicious water I'm drinking!
370
00:12:30,176 --> 00:12:31,876
Sorry that we didn't
check in before we left.
371
00:12:31,911 --> 00:12:33,444
We're just down at the DMV following up
372
00:12:33,479 --> 00:12:34,878
- on the Saturn owners.
- Lies!
373
00:12:34,914 --> 00:12:36,847
Captain! How'd you know we were here?
374
00:12:36,883 --> 00:12:37,833
I followed you!
375
00:12:37,869 --> 00:12:39,643
John Kelly gave you
a "Hot Clue," didn't he?
376
00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:41,352
How dare you disobey me.
377
00:12:41,387 --> 00:12:42,687
Come on, sir, it was a good tip
378
00:12:42,722 --> 00:12:44,088
and we're trying
to catch a serial killer.
379
00:12:44,123 --> 00:12:45,267
Well then let's see this tip,
380
00:12:45,303 --> 00:12:47,403
this groundbreaking tip
381
00:12:47,439 --> 00:12:48,939
that threatens
to blow the case wide open.
382
00:12:48,975 --> 00:12:51,209
Okay, I know this tone.
Here comes petty Holt.
383
00:12:51,245 --> 00:12:52,378
Naw, bitch. I'm not being petty.
384
00:12:52,414 --> 00:12:53,713
You just said, "naw, bitch."
385
00:12:53,749 --> 00:12:55,616
Show me the tip.
386
00:12:55,652 --> 00:12:57,052
Title of your sex tape.
387
00:12:57,468 --> 00:12:59,153
I was behind the Royal Motor Inn.
388
00:12:59,188 --> 00:13:01,989
I saw a guy get out of a blue Saturn Ion
389
00:13:02,024 --> 00:13:03,220
and he was covered in blood.
390
00:13:03,256 --> 00:13:04,725
Anyway, Baba Booey!
391
00:13:04,760 --> 00:13:06,660
Baba Booey? Is that a clue?
392
00:13:06,695 --> 00:13:08,796
Uh, I don't know what
Baba Booey means, actually.
393
00:13:08,831 --> 00:13:11,165
It's a popular prank phrase
from Howard Stern.
394
00:13:11,300 --> 00:13:13,534
- Charles!
- Oh, from a shock jock.
395
00:13:13,569 --> 00:13:14,835
Well, that changes everything.
396
00:13:14,870 --> 00:13:17,532
Now we have
a credible break in the case.
397
00:13:17,568 --> 00:13:18,709
Baba Booey!
398
00:13:19,093 --> 00:13:20,793
NYPD, open up!
399
00:13:20,829 --> 00:13:22,276
Uh, just a minute!
400
00:13:22,311 --> 00:13:24,545
Ooh, I bet he's frantically packing up
401
00:13:24,580 --> 00:13:25,946
his collection of hearts.
402
00:13:27,483 --> 00:13:28,977
Goin' in! Get back.
403
00:13:30,537 --> 00:13:32,604
- There's blood everywhere!
- He went out the window.
404
00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:33,798
I'll go around back.
405
00:13:34,957 --> 00:13:37,224
Fine, Kelly found the
murderer's kill room.
406
00:13:37,259 --> 00:13:39,226
Whoop-Dee-doo!
Should we throw him a parade?
407
00:13:39,261 --> 00:13:41,032
Yeah! Maybe!
408
00:13:46,006 --> 00:13:47,474
Patrols have searched
a five-block radius.
409
00:13:47,509 --> 00:13:48,688
No sign of the perp.
410
00:13:48,724 --> 00:13:50,610
And there were no prints.
He was wearing gloves.
411
00:13:50,645 --> 00:13:52,278
- Like the inimitable Audrey Hepburn.
- Nope.
412
00:13:52,314 --> 00:13:53,682
Gentlemen, there's something
I need to say.
413
00:13:53,718 --> 00:13:55,110
I gave you such a hard time
414
00:13:55,146 --> 00:13:58,317
about using Commissioner Kelly's
app because I was being petty.
415
00:13:58,353 --> 00:14:00,587
I wanted him to fail
and I took it out on you
416
00:14:00,622 --> 00:14:03,100
and for that I am very...
417
00:14:05,792 --> 00:14:07,814
Oh. You kind of trailed off there, sir.
418
00:14:07,850 --> 00:14:09,047
Were you going to finish your sentence?
419
00:14:09,083 --> 00:14:10,234
It felt like you were going
to say you were sorry.
420
00:14:10,270 --> 00:14:11,565
I did. Boyle heard it.
421
00:14:11,600 --> 00:14:13,333
Uh, I would remember if
someone said my catch phrase.
422
00:14:13,368 --> 00:14:15,435
Fine, I'm sorry.
423
00:14:15,470 --> 00:14:17,471
I'm very sorry.
424
00:14:17,506 --> 00:14:19,439
Apology accepted.
425
00:14:19,574 --> 00:14:21,741
- I am so proud of you.
- Peralta.
426
00:14:21,776 --> 00:14:23,043
You're right. I'll rub it in later.
427
00:14:23,078 --> 00:14:24,578
What matters now is solving this case.
428
00:14:24,613 --> 00:14:26,046
Now, our murderer may have gotten away,
429
00:14:26,081 --> 00:14:27,948
but we did find his kill room.
430
00:14:27,983 --> 00:14:29,783
Maybe there's something in here
that we're not seeing, yet.
431
00:14:29,818 --> 00:14:31,718
Perhaps we should pay your
cannibal friend another visit.
432
00:14:31,753 --> 00:14:34,454
I wouldn't say they're friends
so much as ex-cellmates.
433
00:14:34,489 --> 00:14:36,122
No, it's true. We're friends.
434
00:14:36,157 --> 00:14:39,032
- He ate kids!
- Well, people are complicated.
435
00:14:39,294 --> 00:14:40,460
Now, I'll tell you one thing.
436
00:14:40,495 --> 00:14:41,928
You are not looking for a cannibal.
437
00:14:41,963 --> 00:14:43,730
- Why do you say that?
- With all that blood?
438
00:14:43,765 --> 00:14:46,566
No self-respecting cannibal
would waste all that sauce.
439
00:14:46,601 --> 00:14:48,068
See, Charles? He's a foodie, like you.
440
00:14:48,103 --> 00:14:50,285
- Who are you?
- Can I see that picture again?
441
00:14:50,442 --> 00:14:52,476
Oh man, those are some nice tools.
442
00:14:52,512 --> 00:14:54,145
I would love to spread some ribs
443
00:14:54,181 --> 00:14:55,514
using that sternum retractor,
444
00:14:55,550 --> 00:14:56,908
but they only sell those to hospitals.
445
00:14:56,944 --> 00:14:58,811
Wait a minute. What did you just say?
446
00:14:58,847 --> 00:15:00,914
I said I'd love to get my little fingies
447
00:15:00,949 --> 00:15:01,848
in some chesties.
448
00:15:01,883 --> 00:15:03,617
No, no, no. Not the super gross part.
449
00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:04,818
Surgery-grade tools,
450
00:15:04,853 --> 00:15:05,986
precise incisions around the heart,
451
00:15:06,021 --> 00:15:07,721
and there was no ice at the motel.
452
00:15:07,756 --> 00:15:09,623
Because the perp was using
it for the hearts.
453
00:15:09,658 --> 00:15:11,625
We're not looking for a serial killer.
454
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:13,493
He stole the hearts for a transplant!
455
00:15:13,528 --> 00:15:14,928
Boom! We solved it.
456
00:15:14,963 --> 00:15:17,264
- Boyle, give me a hug.
- Yeah!
457
00:15:17,299 --> 00:15:19,832
No!
458
00:15:20,302 --> 00:15:21,503
Hey, I did it!
459
00:15:21,539 --> 00:15:23,837
I talked to Brian and encouraged
him to pursue his dreams.
460
00:15:23,872 --> 00:15:25,338
Really? Is he gonna quit?
461
00:15:25,373 --> 00:15:26,940
I don't know, that was the first step.
462
00:15:26,975 --> 00:15:28,808
But I figure
if I talk to him twice a day
463
00:15:28,843 --> 00:15:30,810
- for the next few weeks...
- Attention, everyone!
464
00:15:30,845 --> 00:15:32,946
Today will be my final day
at the Nine-Nine.
465
00:15:32,981 --> 00:15:34,614
Damn, Loot. That was fast.
466
00:15:34,649 --> 00:15:36,116
I will be taking my talents to Broadway
467
00:15:36,151 --> 00:15:38,118
and I owe it all
to Lieutenant Terry Jeffords.
468
00:15:38,153 --> 00:15:39,786
All I did was believe in you.
469
00:15:39,821 --> 00:15:41,087
And it changed everything.
470
00:15:41,122 --> 00:15:43,490
So Lieutenant, this one's for you.
471
00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:44,545
Oh.
472
00:15:44,993 --> 00:15:46,793
♪ Another opening ♪
473
00:15:46,828 --> 00:15:48,094
♪ Another show ♪
474
00:15:48,129 --> 00:15:50,297
- Uh oh.
- ♪ From Philly, Boston ♪
475
00:15:50,332 --> 00:15:51,531
♪ To Baltimore ♪
476
00:15:51,566 --> 00:15:52,945
Amy, you said he could sing.
477
00:15:52,981 --> 00:15:55,148
I didn't say he could sing.
He said he could sing.
478
00:15:55,184 --> 00:15:56,884
♪ Dance break! ♪
479
00:15:59,987 --> 00:16:01,487
What have I done?
480
00:16:02,106 --> 00:16:04,144
- Bye, Jake!
- Here it is.
481
00:16:04,179 --> 00:16:06,112
The federal heart
transplant waiting list.
482
00:16:06,147 --> 00:16:08,715
Check out who's all the way
down at 2,319.
483
00:16:08,750 --> 00:16:11,885
Angelo Rinaldi, who runs
the Rinaldi crime family.
484
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,521
Well. Then let's pay him a visit.
485
00:16:15,924 --> 00:16:17,965
- NYPD!
- Hands where we can see them!
486
00:16:18,250 --> 00:16:19,850
There's a heart in the cooler.
487
00:16:19,886 --> 00:16:22,420
Sorry, Rinaldi, the only
transplant happening today
488
00:16:22,456 --> 00:16:23,956
is your ass to jail.
489
00:16:23,992 --> 00:16:25,625
He is definitely unconscious
and didn't hear any of that.
490
00:16:25,661 --> 00:16:27,464
But I'm still pumped.
Case closed. Let's go!
491
00:16:27,869 --> 00:16:30,236
So Rinaldi had his
trigger-man stealing hearts
492
00:16:30,271 --> 00:16:32,472
so he could have a transplant.
493
00:16:32,507 --> 00:16:34,574
That is fun! Good job, Ray.
494
00:16:34,609 --> 00:16:35,909
Thank you, Commissioner Kelly.
495
00:16:35,944 --> 00:16:37,504
We couldn't have done it without your...
496
00:16:39,309 --> 00:16:41,341
Sir, you're doing
the trailing off thing again.
497
00:16:41,750 --> 00:16:44,417
Help. Um... and I owe you an apology.
498
00:16:44,452 --> 00:16:47,153
I'm sorry and I must admit,
499
00:16:47,188 --> 00:16:49,505
you've really got something
on your hands with this...
500
00:16:50,258 --> 00:16:51,691
HotClues app.
501
00:16:51,726 --> 00:16:53,360
Well, that is so nice of you to say.
502
00:16:53,395 --> 00:16:55,362
But, if you like the app now,
503
00:16:55,397 --> 00:16:58,098
wait until you see
the updates we're rolling out.
504
00:16:58,133 --> 00:17:00,834
Now you can Auto-Tune your tips.
Show 'em, Micah.
505
00:17:00,869 --> 00:17:02,769
♪ There's a mysterious package ♪
506
00:17:02,804 --> 00:17:04,037
♪ On the corner of Fourth and Park ♪
507
00:17:04,072 --> 00:17:05,772
- ♪ 4th and Park ♪
- Huh? Sounds...
508
00:17:05,807 --> 00:17:07,826
Pretty nifty.
509
00:17:07,862 --> 00:17:08,934
No...
510
00:17:09,911 --> 00:17:11,044
You a Stern fan, Micah?
511
00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:13,246
Oh yeah. Listen every day.
512
00:17:13,281 --> 00:17:14,447
Baba Booey!
513
00:17:14,482 --> 00:17:16,383
- Baba Booey?
- Baba Booey.
514
00:17:16,418 --> 00:17:17,535
Baba Booey.
515
00:17:18,053 --> 00:17:19,829
You're the guy from the video.
516
00:17:20,239 --> 00:17:21,572
You called in the tip.
517
00:17:21,608 --> 00:17:22,774
Yeah.
518
00:17:22,957 --> 00:17:24,724
Ah, Micah, do me a favor.
519
00:17:24,759 --> 00:17:26,253
Give us a moment here, all right?
520
00:17:26,289 --> 00:17:27,389
Nobody in or out.
521
00:17:27,425 --> 00:17:29,025
Lock the doors. Thanks, bud.
522
00:17:29,061 --> 00:17:30,594
Actually Micah, you wanna
leave that door unlocked
523
00:17:30,630 --> 00:17:31,996
in case we want to make a quick getaway?
524
00:17:32,032 --> 00:17:33,499
I'm gonna do what he told me to do.
525
00:17:33,535 --> 00:17:36,126
Yeah, that makes sense. Thanks, bud.
526
00:17:39,305 --> 00:17:40,505
What's going on, Kelly?
527
00:17:40,541 --> 00:17:43,543
Why is your assistant submitting tips?
528
00:17:43,990 --> 00:17:45,861
Because they already
had the information.
529
00:17:46,061 --> 00:17:47,695
The tips aren't coming
from the public at all.
530
00:17:47,730 --> 00:17:48,759
Oh, cool theory.
531
00:17:48,795 --> 00:17:50,172
But if I already had the information,
532
00:17:50,208 --> 00:17:52,981
why am I pouring so much money
into developing this app?
533
00:17:53,017 --> 00:17:54,450
To hide where you're getting it.
534
00:17:54,485 --> 00:17:56,372
Because you're using
illegal wiretaps or something!
535
00:17:57,188 --> 00:17:59,789
You got me! You guys are good!
536
00:17:59,824 --> 00:18:02,158
I just love how you ping pong
off each other.
537
00:18:02,193 --> 00:18:04,493
This is blatantly unconstitutional.
538
00:18:04,528 --> 00:18:06,295
- I'm going to the press!
- Yes, you should.
539
00:18:06,330 --> 00:18:08,998
But first, do you know
what a stingray is?
540
00:18:09,033 --> 00:18:10,463
Of course we know what a Stingray is.
541
00:18:10,499 --> 00:18:11,667
Tenderest meat in the ocean!
542
00:18:11,752 --> 00:18:13,686
No, stingray is a portable cell tower.
543
00:18:13,721 --> 00:18:15,047
You drive it around the city.
544
00:18:15,083 --> 00:18:17,522
It captures data from any
cell phone within reach.
545
00:18:17,558 --> 00:18:21,694
Like, oh, text messages,
location history, voicemail...
546
00:18:21,729 --> 00:18:22,918
Oh my god.
547
00:18:23,097 --> 00:18:24,697
You have a "Dark Knight" machine!
548
00:18:24,732 --> 00:18:26,365
Yes, I do, and the three of you
549
00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:27,903
are not going to say a word about it
550
00:18:27,939 --> 00:18:29,439
because the 18 felons
551
00:18:29,475 --> 00:18:32,237
we captured through the system,
they'd go free.
552
00:18:32,273 --> 00:18:33,739
That's unfortunate, but it's better
553
00:18:33,774 --> 00:18:34,941
than living in a police state.
554
00:18:34,976 --> 00:18:36,642
- I'm not sitting on this.
- Okay.
555
00:18:36,677 --> 00:18:39,045
But I can assure you, you can't
prove this program exists.
556
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,613
It's just your word against mine.
557
00:18:40,648 --> 00:18:42,548
- I'm more than fine with that.
- You shouldn't be.
558
00:18:42,583 --> 00:18:45,384
Because I can prove you'd do
anything to sabotage me.
559
00:18:45,419 --> 00:18:48,387
My stingray captured your texts, too.
560
00:18:48,422 --> 00:18:50,723
No, he has the "Durrells in Corfu" GIF!
561
00:18:50,758 --> 00:18:52,591
Oh-ho-ho. Way worse.
562
00:18:52,626 --> 00:18:54,293
You wrote several people,
563
00:18:54,328 --> 00:18:57,425
"I would do anything
to rid the NYPD of John Kelly.
564
00:18:57,461 --> 00:18:58,961
"Sincerely, Raymond Holt."
565
00:18:58,997 --> 00:19:01,754
You have got to stop signing
your text messages!
566
00:19:02,536 --> 00:19:03,569
What do I do?
567
00:19:03,604 --> 00:19:04,937
Brian sounds terrible.
568
00:19:04,972 --> 00:19:06,072
I can't let him quit his job!
569
00:19:06,107 --> 00:19:07,640
He'll never get cast in anything.
570
00:19:07,675 --> 00:19:09,308
Maybe he'll be one
of those people on "The Voice"
571
00:19:09,343 --> 00:19:11,077
that's so bad they become
an Internet sensation.
572
00:19:11,112 --> 00:19:12,912
That's not what they do
on "The Voice", Amy,
573
00:19:12,947 --> 00:19:14,347
that's "American Idol"!
574
00:19:14,382 --> 00:19:16,132
"The Voice" is purely
a celebration of talent.
575
00:19:16,168 --> 00:19:17,969
If he wants to pursue his
dream and it doesn't work out,
576
00:19:18,005 --> 00:19:20,305
that's not on you. He made his choice.
577
00:19:20,341 --> 00:19:22,675
Yeah, yeah, you're right.
You know, no blood on my hands.
578
00:19:22,823 --> 00:19:24,090
I just need to let him do his thing.
579
00:19:24,125 --> 00:19:26,826
- Terry...
- Hey, Brian!
580
00:19:26,861 --> 00:19:29,561
So, what did you think of my song?
581
00:19:31,365 --> 00:19:33,599
- I loved how loud it was.
- Thank you.
582
00:19:33,634 --> 00:19:36,002
I wouldn't have had the courage
to do it without you.
583
00:19:36,037 --> 00:19:37,536
Sure, I daydream about it all the time,
584
00:19:37,571 --> 00:19:39,638
but being a single dad,
I always chickened out.
585
00:19:39,673 --> 00:19:41,273
You... have... a kid?
586
00:19:41,308 --> 00:19:43,342
I have kids. Three under three.
587
00:19:43,377 --> 00:19:46,312
Oh, fun! Hey, unrelated.
588
00:19:46,347 --> 00:19:48,280
Uh, what's your
financial situation like?
589
00:19:48,315 --> 00:19:50,282
Do you have savings to fall back on?
590
00:19:50,317 --> 00:19:51,617
Do you come from wealth, or...?
591
00:19:51,652 --> 00:19:53,152
No, no, but...
592
00:19:53,187 --> 00:19:58,057
♪ That's not gonna stop my dreams ♪
593
00:19:58,092 --> 00:19:59,225
Sick pipes, Bri.
594
00:19:59,260 --> 00:20:00,793
- Good luck out there.
- Thanks.
595
00:20:00,828 --> 00:20:03,021
No! I can't let you do this.
596
00:20:03,350 --> 00:20:04,398
What?
597
00:20:05,727 --> 00:20:08,034
You're a bad singer, man.
I don't want to be mean,
598
00:20:08,069 --> 00:20:09,902
but if you try to make a living at this,
599
00:20:09,937 --> 00:20:11,463
you will die on the street.
600
00:20:12,206 --> 00:20:13,240
Oh.
601
00:20:14,354 --> 00:20:15,913
Thanks for telling me.
602
00:20:17,879 --> 00:20:19,477
- So that's it, then.
- Yup.
603
00:20:19,513 --> 00:20:21,247
Next week is my last week
at the Nine-Nine.
604
00:20:21,282 --> 00:20:23,015
Attention, everyone!
605
00:20:23,050 --> 00:20:25,017
I will be giving up singing.
606
00:20:25,052 --> 00:20:27,420
This will be my final performance.
607
00:20:27,455 --> 00:20:30,890
♪ One pound two ounces... ♪
608
00:20:30,925 --> 00:20:32,617
Not now, Brian!
609
00:20:35,029 --> 00:20:36,328
Sir, there you are.
610
00:20:36,363 --> 00:20:37,863
We've been looking everywhere for.
611
00:20:37,898 --> 00:20:39,165
Kevin says he hasn't heard
from you all night.
612
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:40,900
Yes, I've been sitting in my office
613
00:20:40,935 --> 00:20:42,668
wallowing in my hopelessness,
614
00:20:42,703 --> 00:20:45,592
and eating the saddest food
known to mankind.
615
00:20:46,328 --> 00:20:47,339
Ice cream.
616
00:20:47,375 --> 00:20:49,008
Oh my god, he's Bridget Jones-ing.
617
00:20:49,043 --> 00:20:50,609
Okay, well it's time to put that aside
618
00:20:50,644 --> 00:20:52,378
and pull out whatever food
you eat when you're happy.
619
00:20:52,414 --> 00:20:53,713
- Dry beans?
- Sure!
620
00:20:53,749 --> 00:20:56,381
Look. We can still stop John Kelly.
621
00:20:56,417 --> 00:20:58,217
All we need is some hard evidence.
622
00:20:58,252 --> 00:21:01,220
How? He won't let us anywhere
near him or One Police Plaza.
623
00:21:01,255 --> 00:21:03,022
I know, which is why I've assembled
624
00:21:03,057 --> 00:21:05,191
a team of powerful allies in the NYPD.
625
00:21:05,226 --> 00:21:06,625
No, that's too risky.
626
00:21:06,660 --> 00:21:08,694
How do you know they're
not loyal to John Kelly?
627
00:21:08,729 --> 00:21:11,397
Because these people
aren't loyal to anybody.
628
00:21:24,374 --> 00:21:25,740
I made a suicide squad!
629
00:21:26,244 --> 00:21:30,244
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.MY-SUBS.com