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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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Football.
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It's been a touchy subject lately,
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but I'm pretty sure you
all know who I'm with.
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Oh, I stand with you, Kaep.
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But this?
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It's gonna take a full seven
months for me to get there.
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Regardless of all that,
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growing up, I loved playing football.
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It was always my dream that one day,
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I would have a son who would
follow in my footsteps.
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And that dream came true when
Jack came home and said this.
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I made the football team!
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Oh!
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- What?! You did?!
- Wh...
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Oh!
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Ohh!
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I finally have a real son!
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I finally have a real son!
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Wow! That was unbelievable!
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- Play that back.
- Yeah, we gotta see that again.
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He sees his man,
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and look how fast he
stops feeding that baby.
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Boy, he does not give a damn.
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No, sir.
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And can we just talk about
this guy's footwork?
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The way he accelerates through the gap,
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blowing right past whoever
that other kid is.
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- He does not love him as much.
- Mnh-mnh.
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And check this out.
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There's not one, not two,
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but three points of
contact with his son.
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I'll tell you what, that kid's
gonna feel that tomorrow.
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- And maybe for the rest of his life.
- Mm.
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Real son, I'm gonna buy you a car.
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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.MY-SUBS.com --
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You're looking at Valley
Glen Prep Middle School's
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newest punt returner, Jack
"Tiny Dancer" Johnson.
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Oh, we've got to celebrate!
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Finally got an athlete in the family!
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- Hey! I play soccer.
- Yeah.
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And I was captain of
the field hockey team.
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Must you always bring that up?
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Sweetheart, I had no idea
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that you were interested in football.
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- I mean, I love sports and I love dancing.
- Yeah. Hmm.
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So a sport with dancing?
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- Sign me up!
- Mm-hmm.
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- Also, I got you guys something.
- Oh, let's see.
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Oh, look!
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"Proud Parent of a Valley
Glen Prep Athlete."
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I can't wait to put this on my car.
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Wait, what happened to
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"My Benz is allergic
to bumper stickers"?
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You never put one on when I
was playing field hockey.
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I wasn't a proud parent, okay?
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Don't ask questions you
don't want the answers to.
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I knew the answer.
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I just wanted to hear you
say it with your face.
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Look, Dad, you're making
too big a deal of this.
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Even Mason made the team,
and he can't catch or run.
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But they said to play left guard,
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all you got to do is take up space.
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- I played left guard.
- Oh, boy.
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And I took up space.
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Do I love Mason?
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Maybe I should get two
bumper stickers for my car.
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- Why not three, playboy?
- Ha!
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Also, I need you to sign this
permission slip so I can play.
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- Alright, playboy.
- Oh!
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Oh, intercepted!
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Ahh!
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Do you mind, sweetheart, just
giving your dad and I a second?
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- Yeah.
- Yeah.
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- Go put that on my bumper.
- Alright.
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The back bumper.
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Pa... Pass the ball!
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That's so exciting, huh?
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Football, football, right?
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Alright, sweetheart, yeah.
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I know you and Jack are really excited
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- about this, huh?
- Mm-hmm. Yeah.
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There's no way he can play.
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- What?
- Dre, with everything that we know
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about CTE and concussions?
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This is all I ever dreamed
about as a father,
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so please don't take this away from me.
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- Really?
- Mm-hmm.
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Dre, this is about your dream?
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Let me talk to you.
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Football isn't just a game.
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Alright?
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It's a way to get through life.
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And at one point in every man's life,
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there comes a time when
he gets knocked down.
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So I'm asking you right
here, right now...
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... when our son gets knocked down...
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what do you want him to do?
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I want him to get back up!
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I said, what do you want him to do?!
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I want him to get back up, sir!
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Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose!
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Dre? Are you done?
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Yeah, I'm done.
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Jack and Diane get all
those life lessons
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from soccer.
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That is ridiculous,
because soccer is stupid.
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- Andre Johnson.
- Yes.
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He's not playing football.
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End of story.
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Clean this [BLEEP] up.
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Hey, Junior, I need a favor.
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Can you take me and Jalen
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to the Cheesecake Machine on Saturday?
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Are you asking me to chaperone
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your very first date with
your very first boyfriend?
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And you think I'm not gonna cry?
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Don't make me regret this.
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Look, Mom or Dad would make it weird,
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and I just want my first
date to be special.
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Is it too much to ask for a
little magic in my life?
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Ah! Well, if you're in
the mood for magic...
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No one is ever in the mood for magic.
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Hurtful.
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But I would be honored
to be your chaperone.
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Thank you.
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Just... please give us space.
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Okay.
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Is this much enough?
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- How about this much?
- Mnh-mnh.
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I'm good. Thank you.
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Yeah.
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Still got it.
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- I made you a green one...
- Guys, I need your help.
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Alright.
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Bow will not let Jack play football
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because she says it's too dangerous.
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- Ohh! Ohh!
- My God.
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What?! Football is too
dangerous? Really?
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What's next? She wants to take
away our elephant guns, too?
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Come on!
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No matter what I say, she won't budge.
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Okay, but if Jack doesn't
play football, Dre,
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how else is he gonna become a man?
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At least tell me that she's
gonna get him a prostitute.
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- What?
- I'm starting to feel like
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she's an unfit mother.
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Dre, if you decide to leave her,
I won't hold it against you.
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Let me know when you leave her.
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Just send me an e-mail or
text or something, huh?
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Look, she doesn't understand
how important this is.
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Football was the best
part of my childhood.
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- Hey.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
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- Yeah.
- Me too. Oh,
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- the crisp autumn mornings...
- Mm.
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- Yeah.
- ... the late-night practices...
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the way Cindy Demito just lifted
me to the top of the pyramid.
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Guys, look, I don't know how I'm
gonna get Bow over her fear
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of Jack getting a concussion.
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Eh, concussions get a bad rap.
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I got one skiing, and it's
had zero effect on me.
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- Really?
- Yeah.
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So concussions aren't that bad?
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Eh, concussions get a bad rap.
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I got one skiing, and it
has had zero effect on me.
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There, there, little bear.
You're in a loop.
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Come on back. Come on back.
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There we go.
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- Listen, Dre.
- Hmm?
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Life is risky, huh?
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I mean, what are you gonna do,
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bubble-wrap Jack so he can
never do the thing he loves?
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- Come on!
- You know what?
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I am not.
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- Why should he give up something that I love...
- There you go.
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- I mean, he loves?
- Right, right, right.
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- Alright, because this is about him, not me.
- Mm-hmm.
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- Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
- Right?
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- You know what, I got this.
- There you go.
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Tell her!
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Eh, concussions get a bad rap.
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I got one skiing. It's
had zero effect on me.
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Okay. Alright.
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Yeah, you're done with that.
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Here we go, pumpkin.
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Stevens was right. Everything
comes with a risk.
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So I did a little research.
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- Hey, babe.
- Hey!
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- What's up?
- Bad news.
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What happened?
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Diane can't play soccer anymore.
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Did she kick another teacher?
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Worse.
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Girls' soccer has the highest proportion
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of traumatic brain injuries.
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- Really?
- Yes.
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- Hmm.
- So no more girls' soccer.
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- Oh. Okay.
- Buh-bye, girl power
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- and self-esteem.
- Well...
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- What?
- You know, I can't believe
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that shin guards were
her only protection.
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- Well, I mean, it's j...
- In football, they wear shoulder pads...
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- Uh-huh. Okay...
- ... elbow pads, knee pads,
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tailbone pads, rib pads,
and a neck collar...
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- Mm-hmm.
- ... with a helmet
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designed by the ladies
in "Hidden Figures."
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What? They did everything.
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They're just that good.
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Okay.
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I see what you're doing here, Dre.
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What am I doing?
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You think you're smarter than me.
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Well...
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- So no soccer for Diane...
- Nope.
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... and no football for Jack.
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Huh.
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Well, you're gonna have to be the one
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to crush Jack's dream, Bow.
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Jack!
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- We need to talk football!
- Mm-hmm.
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- Yeah, we do.
- Oh, yeah, we do.
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Coach said I need to start
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- eating better.
- Okay.
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More protein, fruits, veggies,
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less candy shaped like food.
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I mean, you've got to put
premium in a Ferrari.
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Do you have a concussion already?
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What is happening to you?
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I'm just keeping my body
right and my mind tight.
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Now, can you quiz me
on European history?
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I need a 2.0 GPA if I'm going
to play in the game coming up.
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Okay.
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So, you're making a lot of changes
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'cause you want to play football.
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Well, I'm not doing it
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because I love myself or
I want to learn stuff.
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Uh-huh.
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So, isn't there something...
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you want to... tell Jack?
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Y-Yes.
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I would like to tell...
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you, Jack, that I am...
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so happy for you, sweetheart.
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And you can... try football.
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- Great!
- Yes!
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For a couple of weeks.
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Great!
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Because I've already forged
your signature on the slip
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and turned it in last Thursday.
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Okay, that's great.
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Ahh! Look at my football-playing son.
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Uh-huh! Working on his end zone dance!
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Gooooaaaaal!
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Wrong sport, son, but that's okay.
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We'll... We'll work on that.
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Ladies and gentlemen... Jack Johnson!
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Okay.
257
00:08:50,310 --> 00:08:53,000
Number 81 in the program, but
number 1 in your hearts.
258
00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:54,040
Oh!
259
00:08:54,150 --> 00:08:55,510
- That's an 18, buddy.
- Yes, it is.
260
00:08:55,520 --> 00:08:56,679
Oh. I was in the mirror.
261
00:08:56,680 --> 00:08:58,100
That's a bad one even for Jack.
262
00:08:58,110 --> 00:08:59,360
- Did you get hit in practice?
- Mnh-mnh.
263
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:00,770
Follow my finger, please.
264
00:09:00,780 --> 00:09:01,799
Very good.
265
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:04,330
Alphabet backwards.
266
00:09:04,340 --> 00:09:05,370
Um...
267
00:09:05,530 --> 00:09:07,280
A, B, C...
268
00:09:07,290 --> 00:09:08,290
- Boom!
- Oh, my God.
269
00:09:08,300 --> 00:09:09,300
- Still Jack.
- Mm-hmm.
270
00:09:09,310 --> 00:09:11,320
- Yep.
- Alright, no need for concussion protocol.
271
00:09:11,430 --> 00:09:12,469
The boy didn't get hit!
272
00:09:12,470 --> 00:09:14,429
- Because I'm so quick.
- So quick.
273
00:09:14,430 --> 00:09:16,890
- Ha ha!
- Yeah! Low center of gravity.
274
00:09:16,900 --> 00:09:19,690
Oh! High escapability and
good hands, like hooves!
275
00:09:19,740 --> 00:09:20,740
- Oh!
- Oh, my...
276
00:09:20,750 --> 00:09:22,310
Like his Pops, not like you, Dre.
277
00:09:22,370 --> 00:09:23,500
Wow, Pops.
278
00:09:23,550 --> 00:09:25,250
I've never seen you take an interest
279
00:09:25,260 --> 00:09:27,220
in any of the kids' sports.
280
00:09:27,270 --> 00:09:28,270
It's football.
281
00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:29,320
Oh... Wo... Okay.
282
00:09:29,380 --> 00:09:30,780
- Ahh!
- He's right.
283
00:09:30,830 --> 00:09:32,180
- Babe.
- Yes?
284
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,600
Today was the single
greatest day of my life.
285
00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:36,840
- Really?
- Yeah.
286
00:09:36,850 --> 00:09:39,460
Watching Jack on the football
field was incredible.
287
00:09:39,470 --> 00:09:40,550
Aww.
288
00:09:40,610 --> 00:09:42,300
And that wasn't even the best part.
289
00:09:42,310 --> 00:09:43,740
Hey, look out, look out!
290
00:09:43,750 --> 00:09:46,110
Oh! That's it! Move it,
son! There you go!
291
00:09:46,120 --> 00:09:47,539
That's my boy!
292
00:09:47,540 --> 00:09:48,770
Look out, look out, look out, look out!
293
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,930
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! Oh, yeah!
294
00:09:50,940 --> 00:09:52,860
You know what? Jack
being good at football
295
00:09:52,870 --> 00:09:54,000
makes me like you more.
296
00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:01,660
Thank you, football.
297
00:10:03,430 --> 00:10:04,840
Are you...
298
00:10:04,900 --> 00:10:06,490
Are you crying?
299
00:10:07,030 --> 00:10:09,350
This game...
300
00:10:09,460 --> 00:10:12,219
has given me everything
I've ever wanted.
301
00:10:12,220 --> 00:10:13,860
I feel the same way!
302
00:10:13,970 --> 00:10:15,439
- You know what I just realized?
- Hmm?
303
00:10:15,440 --> 00:10:18,060
All those college football
games I've been watching,
304
00:10:18,170 --> 00:10:20,510
those kids are in college.
305
00:10:20,560 --> 00:10:21,720
I...
306
00:10:21,730 --> 00:10:23,309
I want to go to college.
307
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:26,830
W-What?
308
00:10:26,880 --> 00:10:28,460
Mom, are you... are... are you crying?
309
00:10:29,680 --> 00:10:31,170
Touch it.
310
00:10:31,180 --> 00:10:32,770
- Yes, I am.
- Touch it.
311
00:10:32,880 --> 00:10:34,260
I'm crying, sweetheart.
312
00:10:35,540 --> 00:10:37,020
Oh, God.
313
00:10:37,030 --> 00:10:39,130
Thank you, football.
314
00:10:39,290 --> 00:10:41,210
Thank you.
315
00:10:43,150 --> 00:10:44,450
Eagles!
316
00:10:44,460 --> 00:10:45,810
Eagles!
317
00:10:45,820 --> 00:10:47,110
Alright, that's my son right there!
318
00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:48,530
That's my grandson!
319
00:10:48,540 --> 00:10:50,199
- Hi, sweetheart.
- Go, Jack!
320
00:10:53,910 --> 00:10:55,699
Eagles, let's go!
321
00:10:55,700 --> 00:10:57,980
Looking good, Jack!
322
00:10:58,040 --> 00:10:59,510
Okay, you know what? I-I can't.
323
00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:00,520
I thought I could do this.
324
00:11:00,530 --> 00:11:01,530
- I can't. I can't.
- What?
325
00:11:01,540 --> 00:11:03,450
They are tiny, tiny little boys!
326
00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:04,940
My womb is aching.
327
00:11:04,990 --> 00:11:06,270
- Okay.
- That's a sign. I got to go get a snack.
328
00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:08,200
- Alright. Alright.
- Excuse me. Getting a snack. Sorry.
329
00:11:08,210 --> 00:11:09,510
Excuse me.
330
00:11:09,570 --> 00:11:11,290
Hey, you're Jack's father.
331
00:11:11,300 --> 00:11:12,300
Yeah.
332
00:11:12,410 --> 00:11:14,480
Yeah. Heard some great
things about your son.
333
00:11:14,540 --> 00:11:17,050
Ah. Well, you know, I
couldn't be prouder.
334
00:11:17,060 --> 00:11:18,760
Hey, if you're a shady
college recruiter,
335
00:11:18,820 --> 00:11:21,049
Jack will go anywhere as long as
you buy his grandad a Cadillac.
336
00:11:21,050 --> 00:11:22,050
I got it. Yeah.
337
00:11:22,060 --> 00:11:23,400
He's not lying.
338
00:11:23,460 --> 00:11:25,190
Hey, which one's your kid?
339
00:11:25,240 --> 00:11:27,610
Oh, my son's right here.
340
00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:29,440
Oh. Well, why isn't he playing, man?
341
00:11:29,450 --> 00:11:30,840
He... He's a tank.
342
00:11:30,850 --> 00:11:32,790
Oh, naw, I'll never let him play.
343
00:11:32,850 --> 00:11:34,250
Yeah, me neither.
344
00:11:34,260 --> 00:11:36,320
What? Your kid's got weak legs?
345
00:11:36,380 --> 00:11:38,180
They weren't born with
the gift, like mine.
346
00:11:38,190 --> 00:11:39,940
Nah, football's just way too dangerous.
347
00:11:40,050 --> 00:11:42,270
You got a future to think
about, don't you, bud?
348
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:46,650
Let's go, Eagles! Let's go!
349
00:11:46,660 --> 00:11:49,210
- Let's go, Eagles!
- Hey, Pops,
350
00:11:49,220 --> 00:11:50,730
there's a lot of parents out here
351
00:11:50,740 --> 00:11:52,300
who aren't letting their kids play
352
00:11:52,510 --> 00:11:55,529
but enjoy the hell out of watching
other parents' kids play.
353
00:11:55,530 --> 00:11:57,190
Seems like the only thing
you enjoy is talking.
354
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:58,659
Why don't you be quiet
so I can watch the game?
355
00:11:58,660 --> 00:11:59,970
Okay. Alright. I'll watch the game.
356
00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:02,469
Where's the girl with
the beer at, anyway?
357
00:12:03,800 --> 00:12:05,740
Alright!
358
00:12:05,750 --> 00:12:07,060
You two have fun.
359
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:10,099
I will stay out of your hair
but close if you need my help.
360
00:12:10,100 --> 00:12:12,350
That is the chaperone's code!
361
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:16,740
Wow! The Cheesecake Machine is popping.
362
00:12:16,750 --> 00:12:18,070
Good job getting a reservation.
363
00:12:18,160 --> 00:12:21,059
Wait. We need a reservation?
364
00:12:21,060 --> 00:12:22,890
You didn't make a reservation?
365
00:12:22,900 --> 00:12:25,100
Hey, it's... it's fine.
366
00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:27,430
No. Let your chaperone handle this.
367
00:12:27,540 --> 00:12:28,829
Alright?
368
00:12:28,830 --> 00:12:30,670
- Heeeeeey!
- Hi.
369
00:12:30,770 --> 00:12:33,170
So, I've got some crazy kids
over there on their first date,
370
00:12:33,180 --> 00:12:34,640
trying to create some magic.
371
00:12:34,650 --> 00:12:36,290
They need a table ASAP.
372
00:12:36,400 --> 00:12:38,370
A nice one, with a view of the Sephora.
373
00:12:38,380 --> 00:12:40,340
It's gonna be 90 minutes.
374
00:12:41,790 --> 00:12:43,100
Alright.
375
00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:45,020
She said it's gonna be 90 minutes.
376
00:12:45,070 --> 00:12:47,870
Luckily, I know a little hack
377
00:12:47,920 --> 00:12:50,050
to get this buzzer to go off, alright?
378
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:51,060
Jalen, spot me.
379
00:12:52,140 --> 00:12:56,720
So, all you need to do is
pry the right spot and...
380
00:12:56,780 --> 00:12:57,810
And we're getting it...
381
00:12:57,820 --> 00:12:58,920
Ohh!
382
00:12:58,930 --> 00:13:00,420
Nice job, chap'.
383
00:13:01,230 --> 00:13:03,420
Okay, guys. You know... You know what?
384
00:13:03,430 --> 00:13:06,420
I know another hack, and
that is called confidence.
385
00:13:06,480 --> 00:13:07,900
I'm gonna get you seated.
386
00:13:07,950 --> 00:13:10,040
- Hey.
- Hi.
387
00:13:10,050 --> 00:13:11,079
It's me again.
388
00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,419
I remember you.
389
00:13:12,420 --> 00:13:14,960
Is there really nothing you
can do for these kids?
390
00:13:15,070 --> 00:13:17,060
I mean, they gave you their hearts,
391
00:13:17,120 --> 00:13:18,910
and you gave them this broken buzzer.
392
00:13:19,010 --> 00:13:22,009
Sir, did you tamper with this?
393
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,430
Oh. Uh, no.
394
00:13:23,480 --> 00:13:25,140
These buzzers are custom-made
395
00:13:25,150 --> 00:13:26,480
at our Cheesecake Machine factory.
396
00:13:26,530 --> 00:13:28,949
I'm sorry. Your whole party has to go.
397
00:13:28,950 --> 00:13:31,910
Or... just hear me out.
398
00:13:32,020 --> 00:13:35,260
You kick out this bozo and
you let us sit down, right?
399
00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,250
You think I want to kick three
black kids out of here?
400
00:13:37,260 --> 00:13:38,859
I'm gonna be on Instagram for this.
401
00:13:38,860 --> 00:13:41,290
They're gonna call me Cheesecake Cathy.
402
00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:43,259
Hey, you can go viral.
403
00:13:43,260 --> 00:13:44,690
No, not the good kind.
404
00:13:44,800 --> 00:13:46,540
Not the good kind. You know that.
405
00:13:46,550 --> 00:13:49,200
So, Jack is eating better...
406
00:13:49,260 --> 00:13:51,180
- and his grades are up.
- Mm. Oh, good.
407
00:13:51,190 --> 00:13:53,270
I mean, and now when he signs his name,
408
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,249
the "K" is facing in
the right direction.
409
00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:58,550
But football... honestly,
I'm just gonna say this.
410
00:13:58,560 --> 00:13:59,790
I, um...
411
00:13:59,950 --> 00:14:03,360
I thought I could get on
board for watching this,
412
00:14:03,420 --> 00:14:04,709
but I can't... I can't do it.
413
00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:06,030
You want me to be your
eyes and ears for you?
414
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:07,570
- Do it for me, Janine.
- You got it.
415
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:09,610
- I'm asking that of you. Please do it.
- You got it. Alright. Alright. Alright.
416
00:14:09,620 --> 00:14:11,130
- They got the football, and they're running.
- Okay.
417
00:14:11,140 --> 00:14:12,440
They're running. Oh!
418
00:14:12,450 --> 00:14:14,259
- Oh, no! What happened?!
- That kid got hit really hard.
419
00:14:14,260 --> 00:14:16,060
- No!
- Oh, my God. A helmet fell off.
420
00:14:16,070 --> 00:14:17,520
- No!
- No, it's the way it fell off.
421
00:14:17,530 --> 00:14:18,530
- It's funny.
- Who? Is it mine? Which one?
422
00:14:18,531 --> 00:14:19,540
- Whose?
- I can't tell who it is.
423
00:14:19,550 --> 00:14:21,100
It's a kid with a teeny,
tiny, little body.
424
00:14:21,110 --> 00:14:22,440
My kid has a teeny, tiny body.
425
00:14:22,450 --> 00:14:25,230
Oh! That is not the way a leg goes.
426
00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:26,440
- My kid has a leg!
- That is bad.
427
00:14:26,450 --> 00:14:27,749
- My kid has a leg!
- N... No,
428
00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:29,519
Jack's on the bench drinking water!
429
00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,639
I should've led with
that. Your kid's fine!
430
00:14:34,770 --> 00:14:35,980
- Oh!
- Ohh!
431
00:14:36,140 --> 00:14:37,830
Nice hit!
432
00:14:37,840 --> 00:14:39,330
Glad that's not my kid.
433
00:14:40,341 --> 00:14:42,200
Uh-oh. What's happening?
434
00:14:42,310 --> 00:14:44,490
Well, it appears Dad's
starting to see football
435
00:14:44,500 --> 00:14:45,529
in a whole new light.
436
00:14:45,530 --> 00:14:46,539
Come on, Eagles.
437
00:14:47,700 --> 00:14:49,200
- Yeah!
- Oooooh!
438
00:14:49,300 --> 00:14:50,800
He got jacked up!
439
00:14:50,810 --> 00:14:52,010
Is he okay?
440
00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:53,140
Oh, I doubt it.
441
00:14:53,150 --> 00:14:55,180
Way to go, Eagles!
442
00:14:56,860 --> 00:14:58,960
Um, I do not think that this is okay.
443
00:14:58,970 --> 00:15:00,659
- This is not okay.
- No, no. No, no, no, no. It's okay.
444
00:15:00,660 --> 00:15:01,970
- It's okay. It's okay. It's...
- Oh, God!
445
00:15:02,030 --> 00:15:03,230
It's okay, right, Pops?
446
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:05,130
Yeah, it's alright. It's
football, ain't it?
447
00:15:05,180 --> 00:15:07,550
- Uh-huh.
- Phew! That was close.
448
00:15:07,560 --> 00:15:10,500
For a second there, I thought
these two lifelong fans
449
00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:13,740
were having doubts about
this very complicated sport.
450
00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:16,790
Here we go. Here's
your son's big moment.
451
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,659
- What?
- You must be excited, huh?
452
00:15:18,660 --> 00:15:20,050
- Oh, uh...
- Okay.
453
00:15:20,160 --> 00:15:21,590
Yeah, that's one word for it.
454
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:22,600
Uh-oh.
455
00:15:22,610 --> 00:15:24,190
Now that his son has taken the field,
456
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,630
- it's getting personal.
- Yeah.
457
00:15:25,640 --> 00:15:27,540
Ooh, Dad does not seem psyched.
458
00:15:27,550 --> 00:15:29,689
Yeah, even Granddad
knows this isn't cool,
459
00:15:29,690 --> 00:15:31,590
and he bets on horse fights.
460
00:15:31,600 --> 00:15:33,810
Their small son is set to receive.
461
00:15:34,860 --> 00:15:37,720
And, boy, it is hitting them now.
462
00:15:37,730 --> 00:15:39,700
Maybe this wasn't such a good idea.
463
00:15:40,630 --> 00:15:41,760
Kick is up.
464
00:15:41,770 --> 00:15:44,270
It is high and deep.
465
00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:45,610
That's gonna give these defenders
466
00:15:45,620 --> 00:15:47,930
plenty of time to get down
there and hit that little guy.
467
00:15:47,940 --> 00:15:49,120
Mm.
468
00:15:50,140 --> 00:15:51,920
He's got it! He's off!
469
00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:54,430
Jack! Jack!
470
00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:55,970
What the [BLEEP]?!
471
00:15:55,980 --> 00:15:58,970
I can't... I can't
lose my only good son!
472
00:16:00,820 --> 00:16:03,080
Wow. I've never seen that before.
473
00:16:03,090 --> 00:16:05,140
Yeah, this is crazy!
474
00:16:05,150 --> 00:16:07,210
We'll sort all this out after these ads
475
00:16:07,220 --> 00:16:09,810
for jeans that make your
[BLEEP] look big. Oh.
476
00:16:12,370 --> 00:16:14,810
You carried that boy off the field
477
00:16:14,820 --> 00:16:16,810
like Whitney in "The Bodyguard."
478
00:16:16,820 --> 00:16:18,370
- Your thigh okay?
- Yeah.
479
00:16:18,380 --> 00:16:19,879
- Is it chafing?
- Uh, just a little bit.
480
00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:21,060
Okay.
481
00:16:21,070 --> 00:16:22,090
- Here.
- Okay.
482
00:16:22,100 --> 00:16:24,040
- I need some ice, too.
- Ohh. There you go.
483
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:25,820
I didn't even complete my first play!
484
00:16:25,990 --> 00:16:29,000
So, when did you suddenly change
your mind about football?
485
00:16:29,010 --> 00:16:32,350
It's just... son...
486
00:16:32,390 --> 00:16:34,999
I love football. Alright?
It's a great game.
487
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:38,700
But I just couldn't sit there
and watch people beat you up
488
00:16:38,710 --> 00:16:40,840
for other people's
entertainment. It felt wrong.
489
00:16:40,850 --> 00:16:42,570
Can I not play anymore?
490
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:44,780
I'm sorry, son.
491
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:47,070
But I'm finally great at something!
492
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:48,890
Everyone was yelling my name!
493
00:16:48,910 --> 00:16:50,909
Dad, you were so proud of me.
494
00:16:50,910 --> 00:16:52,450
I'm always proud of you.
495
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:53,830
Not football proud.
496
00:16:53,890 --> 00:16:55,000
It...
497
00:16:55,010 --> 00:16:56,420
You put my face on a sweatshirt.
498
00:16:56,430 --> 00:16:57,440
Yes.
499
00:16:57,500 --> 00:16:59,160
Do I even have to bring
up the bumper stickers?
500
00:16:59,170 --> 00:17:01,230
Yeah, you'll never sell that car now.
501
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:04,190
Jack, I'm proud of you for
so many other reasons.
502
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:05,960
You are an incredible kid.
503
00:17:06,740 --> 00:17:09,270
And maybe I haven't been
loud about it in the past,
504
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:11,200
but I promise you this...
505
00:17:11,320 --> 00:17:13,400
I will be football proud of you
506
00:17:13,440 --> 00:17:15,010
in whatever it is that you do.
507
00:17:15,870 --> 00:17:18,210
This is so unfair.
508
00:17:20,610 --> 00:17:22,100
Is he gonna hate me forever?
509
00:17:22,110 --> 00:17:23,740
- Probably.
- Yeah.
510
00:17:23,750 --> 00:17:26,930
But all parents have to do
what's best for their kids,
511
00:17:27,040 --> 00:17:28,670
and you're doing what's best, son.
512
00:17:28,680 --> 00:17:30,750
- This is what's best.
- Hold on.
513
00:17:30,860 --> 00:17:32,460
Yeah?
514
00:17:32,520 --> 00:17:34,160
You're proud of me, Pops?
515
00:17:34,170 --> 00:17:35,640
Yeah.
516
00:17:35,700 --> 00:17:37,840
- Not football proud.
- Ohh.
517
00:17:38,850 --> 00:17:41,560
I mean, seriously?
518
00:17:45,110 --> 00:17:46,760
Heeeeeeey!
519
00:17:46,870 --> 00:17:49,040
I've got a surprise for you!
520
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:51,890
Is it a new big brother?
521
00:17:53,460 --> 00:17:56,620
I-I deserve that. I'm sorry.
522
00:17:56,630 --> 00:17:57,720
Mm-hmm.
523
00:17:57,780 --> 00:17:59,120
I was just trying to look out for you
524
00:17:59,130 --> 00:18:00,740
because you're my little sister.
525
00:18:01,590 --> 00:18:03,730
But I went about it in the wrong way.
526
00:18:03,770 --> 00:18:06,650
Now, let me try and make it up to you.
527
00:18:06,710 --> 00:18:07,930
Come on.
528
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:19,100
Hey.
529
00:18:19,210 --> 00:18:21,040
I found a place with no wait.
530
00:18:21,100 --> 00:18:22,759
Hey, Jalen.
531
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:24,820
This is...
532
00:18:24,880 --> 00:18:26,370
magical.
533
00:18:26,380 --> 00:18:28,170
How'd you do all this?
534
00:18:28,230 --> 00:18:30,180
Let's just say I've got the hook-up.
535
00:18:32,930 --> 00:18:34,840
Is it Target?
536
00:18:34,900 --> 00:18:36,180
It's Target.
537
00:18:36,190 --> 00:18:37,720
Unlike a certain restaurant,
538
00:18:37,730 --> 00:18:39,810
their app hasn't banished me forever,
539
00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:43,250
so I ordered a bunch of stuff
and picked it up that day.
540
00:18:43,310 --> 00:18:44,840
I'll be back to check on you.
541
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,279
But not too often.
542
00:18:46,280 --> 00:18:47,699
Thanks.
543
00:18:52,090 --> 00:18:53,880
This is so nice.
544
00:18:53,890 --> 00:18:55,560
Yeah. Worth the wait.
545
00:18:55,620 --> 00:18:57,180
Finally a moment alone.
546
00:19:04,700 --> 00:19:06,820
Hands to yourself, buster!
547
00:19:08,180 --> 00:19:09,700
I'm sorry.
548
00:19:09,760 --> 00:19:12,150
H-He's a narc.
549
00:19:12,200 --> 00:19:14,450
So, after my talk with Jack,
550
00:19:14,460 --> 00:19:15,890
I realized I was wrong.
551
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:19,840
There was another way he
could enjoy football.
552
00:19:19,890 --> 00:19:21,270
See? Flag football.
553
00:19:21,280 --> 00:19:23,810
It's just as exciting. It's just as fun.
554
00:19:23,820 --> 00:19:25,380
- Goooooooal!
- Mnh!
555
00:19:25,390 --> 00:19:26,390
Owwwwww!
556
00:19:29,020 --> 00:19:30,830
This is like vegan cheese, son.
557
00:19:30,890 --> 00:19:32,300
I don't see the point.
558
00:19:32,310 --> 00:19:34,840
I mean, I thought we had
something there for a minute.
559
00:19:34,850 --> 00:19:36,770
I don't love you anymore.
560
00:19:36,780 --> 00:19:38,340
Well...
561
00:19:38,350 --> 00:19:40,310
it was fun while it lasted.
562
00:19:45,380 --> 00:19:47,870
Andre Johnson. Dad.
563
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:49,530
H.U.!
564
00:19:49,590 --> 00:19:51,140
Dr. Rainbow Johnson.
565
00:19:51,150 --> 00:19:52,150
Doctor.
566
00:19:52,160 --> 00:19:53,480
Brown undergrad,
567
00:19:53,490 --> 00:19:55,350
USC Medical School.
568
00:19:55,360 --> 00:19:56,480
Doctor.
569
00:19:56,490 --> 00:19:57,950
I am a doctor.
570
00:19:57,960 --> 00:19:59,720
Andre Johnson Jr.
571
00:19:59,730 --> 00:20:01,960
Howard... briefly.
572
00:20:01,970 --> 00:20:03,220
Jack Johnson.
573
00:20:03,230 --> 00:20:04,590
Kick returner.
574
00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,290
Clown College applicant.
575
00:20:07,340 --> 00:20:08,420
Earl Johnson.
576
00:20:08,430 --> 00:20:11,100
University of None of
Your Damn Business!
577
00:20:11,110 --> 00:20:13,240
Somebody better come and
get this thing off me.
578
00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:15,730
I am not doing this.
579
00:20:19,770 --> 00:20:24,190
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-- www.MY-SUBS.com --