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Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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Previously on:
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Billy called.
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Billy Stanhope?
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Yeah, he said he has
a business proposition for you.
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How 'bout that?
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Billy Stanhope...
(laughs)
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(screaming)
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(screams)
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What went down between you two?
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Well, we built Eddie's software
company in Bridget's garage
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and then sold it
for a couple billion dollars.
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That son of a bitch.
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He didn't want to sell.
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You really think we can finally
build the electric suitcase?
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Yes, we have the technology now.
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I-I just need you to help me
write the code.
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Hey, you know, while
we're on the subject...
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What? Peeing?
No, sex.
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There's something
you should know.
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It's about your ex-wife.
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What? Bridget?
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Yeah, I'm, uh...
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kind of sleeping with her.
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What?!
W-Wait, hey...
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Mom, this is Alan.
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Alan, this is
my mom, Jean.
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Hi. Nice to meet you.
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You know what?
Tell you what.
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I will call my mom
and try to set up a dinner.
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Evelyn says there's a place
right down the street
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where they have
music and dancing.
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Why don't you two
fuddy-duddies run along
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and let Jean and I
have some fun.
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You think we'll find some
cute fellas to dance with?
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Oh, Jean, Jean, Jean...
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we're not going to dance.
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I adore your mother.
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That's only because
you just met her.
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I don't know.
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I think I got
to know her pretty well.
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Good morning, darling.
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Great. I'll pick you up
at the airport.
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I can't wait.
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I love you, too.
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Tell Zoey I said "hi."
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Oh, Alan says "hi."
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(quietly)
Yes, he's still here.
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Uh-huh. I know. You're right.
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She says "hi" back.
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Okay, I'll see
you tomorrow.
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Here you go.
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Oh, thank you.
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You got to be excited about
having your girlfriend back.
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What has it been, a month?
Three weeks.
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Still, that's like
a decade in penis years.
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Yeah.
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Tell you the truth, I'm actually
a little bit worried.
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About your relationship?
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Come on. Absence makes the heart
grow fonder.
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At least for guys like you.
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For guys like me,
absence is more often enforced
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by the state of California.
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Zoey doesn't know that I started
a new software company
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with my old partner.
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Yeah, with Billy, I know.
What's the big deal?
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Well, there's
a third partner...
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that Zoey's
not gonna like.
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Walden...
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you made me a partner?
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All I did was bring
you two guys together,
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The third partner is Bridget.
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Your ex-wife?
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Come on, I brought
you two guys together!
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But she helped me design
the original code
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for the software;
I had to bring her in.
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Oh, right, right.
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Well, I guess that would make
a very awkward conversation
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with Zoey.
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Yeah. I think I'm just gonna try
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to slip it in
without her noticing.
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Hmm. Story of my life.
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(sighs)
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Well, listen, just remember,
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that love will get you
through times of no money
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better than money will get you
through times of no love.
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That's good advice.
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Thank you.
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And, uh, just to be clear...
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uh, I have zero stake
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in this potential
billion-dollar business?
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Well, actually, I
was gonna give you
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a hundred shares
of founders' stock.
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Wow.
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If this thing works,
it could be worth millions.
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Thank you.
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My problem is I still
got to figure out
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how to explain this to Zoey.
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Dump the bitch. Don't let her
screw this up for us.
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Once again, thank you
for the advice.
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Well, if it makes you
feel any better,
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I've got my own little
relationship problem brewing.
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00:03:43,751 --> 00:03:46,702
Yeah, that doesn't
make me feel better.
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My girlfriend's mom and my mom
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have become lovers.
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(laughs): Okay, that does
make me feel better.
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♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men ♪
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♪ Men, men, manly men, men, men ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
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♪ Men, men, men, manly men ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
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♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh,
ooh-ohh, ooh-ooh... ♪
112
00:04:08,776 --> 00:04:11,276
♪ Men, men, men, men, manly men,
men, men ♪
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♪ Ooh ♪
♪ Men, men, men, manly men, men, men ♪
114
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♪ Ah. ♪
♪ Men. ♪
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♪ Two and a Half Men 9x20 ♪
Grandma's Pie
Original Air Date on April 9, 2012
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== sync, corrected by elderman ==
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♪ Men... ♪
118
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Can I ask you a question?
What?
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If we just had sex in England,
120
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would I be lying on
the other side of the bed?
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(laughs)
122
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Oh, God, I've missed you.
123
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I missed you, too.
124
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And you can call me Walden.
125
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(laughing)
126
00:04:43,943 --> 00:04:46,644
So, what have
you been up to?
127
00:04:46,646 --> 00:04:49,647
Actually, I've been,
like, very, very busy.
128
00:04:49,649 --> 00:04:51,649
With what?
129
00:04:51,651 --> 00:04:53,184
I started a new
software company
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00:04:53,186 --> 00:04:55,737
with my old partner
Billy Stanhope.
131
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(gasps)
Walden!
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Yeah.
That's terrific!
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It's amazing and, and
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00:04:59,292 --> 00:05:00,742
we built this
amazing product.
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00:05:00,744 --> 00:05:02,460
It's called
the electric suitcase.
136
00:05:02,462 --> 00:05:03,628
I-It's gonna completely
revolutionize
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00:05:03,630 --> 00:05:05,497
the global energy market.
138
00:05:05,499 --> 00:05:06,748
Whoa. Sounds big.
139
00:05:06,750 --> 00:05:09,167
No, it's bigger than big.
I mean, the three of us
140
00:05:09,169 --> 00:05:11,136
could end up splitting
billions of dollars.
141
00:05:11,138 --> 00:05:12,420
The three of you?
142
00:05:12,422 --> 00:05:13,638
What?
143
00:05:13,640 --> 00:05:15,306
You just said
the three of you.
144
00:05:15,308 --> 00:05:18,643
Y-Yes, there are
in fact three of us.
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00:05:18,645 --> 00:05:20,028
Who's the third?
146
00:05:20,030 --> 00:05:21,179
Oh, not Alan.
147
00:05:21,181 --> 00:05:24,015
(laughs)
No, God, no.
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00:05:28,037 --> 00:05:30,021
So, who is it?
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00:05:32,491 --> 00:05:34,225
It's Bridget.
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00:05:34,227 --> 00:05:35,493
Your ex-wife?
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00:05:35,495 --> 00:05:36,861
There's nothing I could do.
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00:05:36,863 --> 00:05:39,030
I mean, she helped write the
original code for the software
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00:05:39,032 --> 00:05:40,731
so she still owns
a third of it.
154
00:05:40,733 --> 00:05:42,567
So you've gone into
business with a woman
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00:05:42,569 --> 00:05:44,586
who drove her car
into your living room
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00:05:44,588 --> 00:05:46,004
because you chose me
over her?
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00:05:46,006 --> 00:05:47,905
Crazy world, huh?
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00:05:49,008 --> 00:05:50,542
On the plus side...
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00:05:50,544 --> 00:05:52,544
s-she's sleeping with
my ex-partner. So...
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00:05:52,546 --> 00:05:53,878
Why is that a plus side?
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00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:56,097
B-Because she's with him,
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00:05:56,099 --> 00:05:59,083
so you don't have to worry
about me and... her.
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00:05:59,085 --> 00:06:00,648
I wasn't worried
about you and her.
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00:06:00,650 --> 00:06:01,370
Good.
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00:06:01,388 --> 00:06:03,137
Until just now.
166
00:06:04,190 --> 00:06:06,757
Why didn't you tell me
about this before we had sex?
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Do you want to have sex now?
168
00:06:08,361 --> 00:06:09,944
No!
That's why!
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00:06:09,946 --> 00:06:11,362
I'm going home.
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00:06:11,364 --> 00:06:12,430
Oh, come on, Zoey.
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00:06:12,432 --> 00:06:14,232
Don't make a big deal
out of this.
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00:06:14,234 --> 00:06:16,701
If I told you I was going into
business with my ex-husband
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would you consider it
a big deal?
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00:06:18,438 --> 00:06:19,370
No, not at all.
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00:06:19,372 --> 00:06:20,605
You're a liar.
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00:06:22,458 --> 00:06:23,958
(groans)
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00:06:23,960 --> 00:06:26,911
Life would be so much easier
if I dated dumb chicks.
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00:06:26,913 --> 00:06:28,246
I heard that.
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00:06:28,248 --> 00:06:30,915
It was a compliment.
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00:06:34,220 --> 00:06:36,221
Here you go.
181
00:06:36,223 --> 00:06:37,538
Thank you. So..
182
00:06:37,540 --> 00:06:39,757
have you given any thought
as to what we're gonna do
183
00:06:39,759 --> 00:06:42,060
about our little...
mother situation?
184
00:06:42,062 --> 00:06:43,794
Golden Girls Gone Wild?
185
00:06:43,796 --> 00:06:46,931
Hey... what can we do?
They're grown woman.
186
00:06:46,933 --> 00:06:49,017
They've made
a lifestyle choice.
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00:06:49,019 --> 00:06:50,968
I have no problem
with the lifestyle.
188
00:06:50,970 --> 00:06:52,604
I've tried the lifestyle.
189
00:06:52,606 --> 00:06:53,738
Really?! When?
190
00:06:53,740 --> 00:06:56,407
Who? College? Camp?
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00:06:56,409 --> 00:06:58,610
Shut up, Alan.
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00:06:58,612 --> 00:07:00,828
Sorry. Go ahead.
193
00:07:00,830 --> 00:07:02,997
How am I supposed to have
a relationship with you
194
00:07:02,999 --> 00:07:05,917
when your mother is clearly
taking sexual advantage of mine?
195
00:07:05,919 --> 00:07:07,201
H-Hang on a second.
196
00:07:07,203 --> 00:07:09,587
I don't think anyone is
taking advantage of anyone.
197
00:07:09,589 --> 00:07:10,922
You don't?
198
00:07:10,924 --> 00:07:13,174
A week ago my mother was living
in a retirement community
199
00:07:13,176 --> 00:07:14,375
playing golf
with her girlfriends
200
00:07:14,377 --> 00:07:15,993
and watching reruns
of Cagney & Lacey.
201
00:07:15,995 --> 00:07:17,011
Well, I don't know.
202
00:07:17,013 --> 00:07:18,296
Golf, Cagney & Lacey...
203
00:07:18,298 --> 00:07:20,932
Sounds like she was
already halfway there.
204
00:07:23,335 --> 00:07:25,236
Shut up, Alan.
205
00:07:25,837 --> 00:07:27,221
(both laughing)
206
00:07:27,223 --> 00:07:29,140
Oh, good, you're here.
207
00:07:29,142 --> 00:07:30,224
Mom!
208
00:07:30,226 --> 00:07:31,976
What have you done
to yourself?
209
00:07:31,978 --> 00:07:33,645
Evelyn took me shopping.
210
00:07:33,647 --> 00:07:34,946
Do you like my new look?
211
00:07:34,948 --> 00:07:36,147
Isn't she gorgeous?
212
00:07:36,149 --> 00:07:37,782
Yeah, I-I guess.
213
00:07:37,784 --> 00:07:40,601
We also got matching tattoos.
214
00:07:42,071 --> 00:07:43,237
Oh, Mom, no.
215
00:07:43,239 --> 00:07:45,290
See? It's
a little heart.
216
00:07:45,292 --> 00:07:47,909
Uh, with an
"E plus J" in it.
217
00:07:47,911 --> 00:07:50,027
I don't see one
on your ankle, Mom.
218
00:07:50,029 --> 00:07:52,697
It's not on my ankle.
219
00:07:54,032 --> 00:07:55,833
Oh, glory-oski.
220
00:07:57,703 --> 00:07:59,036
Mom, you've been gone all day.
221
00:07:59,038 --> 00:08:01,389
I thought you and I were gonna
spend some time together
222
00:08:01,391 --> 00:08:03,007
before you went back
to Sunset Village.
223
00:08:03,009 --> 00:08:04,926
I know.
I'm sorry, sweetheart.
224
00:08:04,928 --> 00:08:06,511
We've been so busy.
225
00:08:06,513 --> 00:08:07,712
But don't worry.
226
00:08:07,714 --> 00:08:09,647
You're gonna be seeing
a lot more of me
227
00:08:09,649 --> 00:08:11,949
after I move in with Evy.
228
00:08:15,053 --> 00:08:16,554
What?
229
00:08:16,556 --> 00:08:17,822
I've got this huge place.
230
00:08:17,824 --> 00:08:19,724
Why shouldn't she enjoy it?
231
00:08:19,726 --> 00:08:22,410
You're talking about
your huge house, right?
232
00:08:23,779 --> 00:08:25,863
We're just gonna pick up
some things here
233
00:08:25,865 --> 00:08:27,949
and then go close up
Jean's condo.
234
00:08:27,951 --> 00:08:29,917
And then we'll start
our new life,
235
00:08:29,919 --> 00:08:31,902
right, Peaches?
That's right, Pumpkin.
236
00:08:31,904 --> 00:08:33,521
Come on.
237
00:08:36,525 --> 00:08:39,544
This sort of makes you
brother and sister, doesn't it?
238
00:08:44,683 --> 00:08:48,169
Is it just me or is...
that idea kind of a turn-on?
239
00:08:49,521 --> 00:08:51,489
(laughs):
It's just me.
240
00:08:53,442 --> 00:08:55,276
♪ Men...♪
241
00:08:55,278 --> 00:08:59,480
WALDEN: Oh, come on.
It's not that weird.
242
00:08:59,482 --> 00:09:01,649
Yeah, because we have
a child together.
243
00:09:01,651 --> 00:09:03,818
Okay, well, Bridget and I
have a business together.
244
00:09:03,820 --> 00:09:05,286
It's basically the same thing.
245
00:09:05,288 --> 00:09:08,122
Have you been sniffing glue?
246
00:09:08,124 --> 00:09:10,941
No! They both require
nurturing and attention.
247
00:09:10,943 --> 00:09:13,411
The only difference is your
kid's gonna cost you a fortune
248
00:09:13,413 --> 00:09:15,046
and mine is gonna
make a fortune.
249
00:09:15,048 --> 00:09:16,130
Wow. Good-bye.
250
00:09:16,132 --> 00:09:17,498
Okay, wait, wait,
wait, wait.
251
00:09:17,500 --> 00:09:18,833
J-Just...
252
00:09:18,835 --> 00:09:20,718
do one thing for me.
What?
253
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,804
Let's the three of us
have dinner together.
254
00:09:22,806 --> 00:09:25,956
You want me to have dinner
with you and your ex-wife?
255
00:09:25,958 --> 00:09:27,291
Yes.
256
00:09:27,293 --> 00:09:30,027
That way you can see that
everything is cool between us.
257
00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:34,415
Come on, Zoey.
This is really important to me.
258
00:09:34,417 --> 00:09:36,317
(sighs)
259
00:09:36,319 --> 00:09:38,236
God, I'm gonna regret this.
260
00:09:38,238 --> 00:09:40,021
One dinner.
261
00:09:40,023 --> 00:09:41,406
Thank you.
262
00:09:41,408 --> 00:09:42,573
I will see you tomorrow.
263
00:09:42,575 --> 00:09:45,359
Good-bye.
264
00:09:45,361 --> 00:09:47,278
(groans):
Well done, old boy.
265
00:09:47,280 --> 00:09:50,248
You dodged the crazy
girlfriend bullet.
266
00:09:50,250 --> 00:09:53,618
ZOEY: Walden, I'm still
outside the door.
267
00:09:55,587 --> 00:09:57,154
You didn't let me finish.
268
00:09:57,156 --> 00:09:58,756
All right, finish.
269
00:09:58,758 --> 00:10:01,843
I love you so much.
270
00:10:04,847 --> 00:10:07,215
♪ Men...♪
271
00:10:07,217 --> 00:10:09,550
Here you go.
272
00:10:10,836 --> 00:10:12,303
Thank you.
273
00:10:12,305 --> 00:10:15,139
So did you tell Zoey
about working with Bridget?
274
00:10:15,141 --> 00:10:16,674
Uh, yeah.
275
00:10:16,676 --> 00:10:18,175
How'd it go?
276
00:10:18,177 --> 00:10:19,310
Not good.
277
00:10:19,312 --> 00:10:21,312
But she did agree
to have dinner with us.
278
00:10:21,314 --> 00:10:22,613
W-Wait, you're having dinner
279
00:10:22,615 --> 00:10:24,348
with your girlfriend
and your ex-wife?
280
00:10:24,350 --> 00:10:25,600
Bad idea?
281
00:10:25,602 --> 00:10:27,869
Well, not as bad as me trying
to turn my girlfriend on
282
00:10:27,871 --> 00:10:30,187
with a little incest fantasy,
but it's right up there.
283
00:10:33,459 --> 00:10:35,626
What else was I gonna do?
Well, I...
284
00:10:35,628 --> 00:10:38,863
I'm not gonna dump the bitch.
Okay.
285
00:10:38,865 --> 00:10:41,132
Fine, fine. We'll just keep
our eyes on the prize here.
286
00:10:41,134 --> 00:10:43,468
What, your hundred shares
in the company?
287
00:10:43,470 --> 00:10:45,386
I was more thinking
about your happiness,
288
00:10:45,388 --> 00:10:47,088
but sure, there's that.
289
00:10:48,674 --> 00:10:50,591
Hey, uh, this might
make you feel better.
290
00:10:50,593 --> 00:10:52,543
Uh, I'm having my own
bad idea dinner.
291
00:10:52,545 --> 00:10:53,845
What's that?
292
00:10:53,847 --> 00:10:57,815
Lyndsey, her son, my son,
and the two gay grandmas.
293
00:10:57,817 --> 00:11:01,018
Once again,
that does make me feel better.
294
00:11:01,020 --> 00:11:02,386
(laughs)
295
00:11:02,388 --> 00:11:03,654
Hey, how about this?
296
00:11:03,656 --> 00:11:05,072
Why don't we meet back here
297
00:11:05,074 --> 00:11:06,824
after our respective dinners
and compare notes?
298
00:11:06,826 --> 00:11:09,393
Sort of like a recap at the end
of a reality show.
299
00:11:09,395 --> 00:11:12,196
Yeah. Yeah, we could, uh,
you know, have a little contest.
300
00:11:12,198 --> 00:11:13,581
See whose dinner was worse.
301
00:11:13,583 --> 00:11:16,083
Shame we can't let
America vote on it.
302
00:11:16,085 --> 00:11:17,535
(laughs)
303
00:11:17,537 --> 00:11:19,287
Yeah.
304
00:11:19,289 --> 00:11:21,255
Or can we?
305
00:11:21,257 --> 00:11:24,241
♪ Men. ♪
306
00:11:28,573 --> 00:11:30,824
♪ Men. ♪
307
00:11:37,732 --> 00:11:40,617
Hey, this is really nice, huh?
308
00:11:42,870 --> 00:11:44,538
Zoey, uh...
309
00:11:44,540 --> 00:11:46,757
(clears throat)
Bridget and I
310
00:11:46,759 --> 00:11:49,743
were talking about your...
311
00:11:50,081 --> 00:11:52,666
...your concerns, and
312
00:11:52,668 --> 00:11:55,336
Bridget was very eager
to assuage them.
313
00:11:55,338 --> 00:11:56,954
Right, Bridge?
314
00:11:56,956 --> 00:11:59,807
Absolutely.
315
00:12:03,745 --> 00:12:05,963
Okay.
316
00:12:07,916 --> 00:12:10,067
Let the assuaging begin.
317
00:12:11,586 --> 00:12:15,272
Anybody?
318
00:12:15,274 --> 00:12:17,758
I'll take a
crack at it.
319
00:12:19,427 --> 00:12:21,595
No, thank you, Berta.
320
00:12:23,198 --> 00:12:26,567
All right, obviously,
this is an awkward situation.
321
00:12:26,569 --> 00:12:27,768
Walden and I were
322
00:12:27,770 --> 00:12:29,036
together for many, many years,
323
00:12:29,038 --> 00:12:32,072
and you and he have been dating
for a few months now,
324
00:12:32,074 --> 00:12:34,992
so clearly, you're insecure
about us working together.
325
00:12:34,994 --> 00:12:35,943
I am not insecure.
326
00:12:35,945 --> 00:12:37,244
Right, and there's no reason
327
00:12:37,246 --> 00:12:38,996
you should be. Yes,
328
00:12:38,998 --> 00:12:40,915
I've known this guy
since high school,
329
00:12:40,917 --> 00:12:42,333
and yes, we fell in love,
330
00:12:42,335 --> 00:12:44,969
and yes, we spent
many happy years together,
331
00:12:44,971 --> 00:12:49,173
but the reality now is,
we're simply business partners.
332
00:12:49,175 --> 00:12:50,624
Right.
333
00:12:50,626 --> 00:12:52,960
And not all those years
were happy.
334
00:12:55,981 --> 00:12:58,182
Oh, sure, there were
some great times.
335
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,234
Also, I want to build...
336
00:13:00,236 --> 00:13:03,103
But there were also
some bad times.
337
00:13:03,105 --> 00:13:04,405
Also some bad times.
338
00:13:04,407 --> 00:13:06,523
I mean, the point is,
339
00:13:06,525 --> 00:13:09,827
is that our relationship now
is just strictly business.
340
00:13:09,829 --> 00:13:12,429
Oh, speaking of which, we need
to upgrade the ventilation
341
00:13:12,431 --> 00:13:13,614
for the server farm.
342
00:13:13,616 --> 00:13:14,949
Oh, that's a good idea.
343
00:13:14,951 --> 00:13:16,834
Oh, also, I want to build
triple redundancy.
344
00:13:16,836 --> 00:13:19,119
Of course, but we shouldn't be
talking shop
345
00:13:19,121 --> 00:13:21,789
and leaving poor Zoey
out of the conversation.
346
00:13:21,791 --> 00:13:24,291
No, that's all right. I love
to hear about Walden's work.
347
00:13:24,293 --> 00:13:26,460
Oh, that's so sweet.
348
00:13:26,462 --> 00:13:29,546
I'm so glad
he found someone like you.
349
00:13:29,548 --> 00:13:31,932
Oh. Thank you.
350
00:13:31,934 --> 00:13:34,602
After I threw him out,
I wondered how he'd survive.
351
00:13:34,604 --> 00:13:35,836
He's so needy.
352
00:13:35,838 --> 00:13:37,221
I'm not needy.
353
00:13:37,223 --> 00:13:39,640
Yeah, you are.
BOTH: Yes, you are.
354
00:13:41,009 --> 00:13:42,142
So what's the deal?
355
00:13:42,144 --> 00:13:44,011
Are you guys in it
for the long haul,
356
00:13:44,013 --> 00:13:46,146
or are you just gonna date
and see what happens?
357
00:13:46,148 --> 00:13:49,199
Well, we're just finding
our way for the moment.
358
00:13:49,201 --> 00:13:50,701
(clears throat)
Oh, good.
359
00:13:50,703 --> 00:13:52,369
Mm.
Good.
360
00:13:52,371 --> 00:13:53,854
Keep it casual.
361
00:13:53,856 --> 00:13:56,156
That way no one can accuse you
of going after his money.
362
00:13:58,076 --> 00:13:59,426
Excuse me?
363
00:14:00,028 --> 00:14:02,129
I'm not after his money.
364
00:14:02,131 --> 00:14:04,331
Oh, no, you misunderstand.
365
00:14:04,333 --> 00:14:07,001
I... I'm sure you're not,
but unfortunately,
366
00:14:07,003 --> 00:14:08,752
there's no way to prove it.
367
00:14:10,055 --> 00:14:12,006
Luckily, I met him
when he had nothing,
368
00:14:12,008 --> 00:14:15,242
so there's no question
about my intentions.
369
00:14:15,244 --> 00:14:17,344
Are you questioning
my intentions?
370
00:14:17,346 --> 00:14:18,479
No, she's not. She's not.
371
00:14:18,481 --> 00:14:19,813
No, you're not.
You're not, are you?
372
00:14:19,815 --> 00:14:22,066
Of course not.
373
00:14:22,068 --> 00:14:23,851
Are you questioning
my intentions?
374
00:14:23,853 --> 00:14:26,553
Me? No!
375
00:14:29,991 --> 00:14:32,026
Berta, how is
the pot roast coming?
376
00:14:32,028 --> 00:14:33,911
Got another 30 minutes.
377
00:14:33,913 --> 00:14:35,729
You guys keep chatting.
378
00:14:37,832 --> 00:14:39,700
♪ Men. ♪
379
00:14:39,702 --> 00:14:41,201
I don't understand.
380
00:14:41,203 --> 00:14:43,904
Why is my grandmother
living with his grandmother?
381
00:14:43,906 --> 00:14:45,923
Yeah, I was kind of
wondering that myself,
382
00:14:45,925 --> 00:14:47,841
but I didn't want
to look stupid.
383
00:14:47,843 --> 00:14:49,793
Too late, dude.
384
00:14:49,795 --> 00:14:51,378
You want to handle this, Alan?
385
00:14:51,380 --> 00:14:52,379
Not really.
386
00:14:52,381 --> 00:14:54,098
I wasn't asking.
387
00:14:54,100 --> 00:14:55,916
All right. Um...
388
00:14:55,918 --> 00:14:58,969
Well, fellas, um,
389
00:14:58,971 --> 00:15:03,107
your two grandmas are,
uh... are both very lonely,
390
00:15:03,109 --> 00:15:07,978
and so, they've, uh, decided
to become...
391
00:15:07,980 --> 00:15:09,980
uh, roommates, uh,
392
00:15:09,982 --> 00:15:12,199
and keep each other company.
393
00:15:12,201 --> 00:15:13,400
Oh, that makes sense.
Mm.
394
00:15:13,402 --> 00:15:14,952
Plus, if one of them
falls down,
395
00:15:14,954 --> 00:15:16,370
the other can call
the ambulance.
396
00:15:16,372 --> 00:15:19,156
What if they both fall down
at the same time?
397
00:15:19,158 --> 00:15:21,575
Um, I guess they starve
to death and die.
398
00:15:21,577 --> 00:15:24,244
Unless they go cannibal
and try to eat each other.
399
00:15:24,246 --> 00:15:25,462
If that happens,
I'm betting
400
00:15:25,464 --> 00:15:27,781
on my grandma
eating your grandma.
401
00:15:27,783 --> 00:15:29,616
Dude, there's no way
in the world
402
00:15:29,618 --> 00:15:31,618
that your grandma
eats my grandma.
403
00:15:31,620 --> 00:15:34,088
My grandma totally
eats your grandma.
404
00:15:34,090 --> 00:15:37,424
Nuh-uh. If any grandma's doing
any eating, it's my grandma.
405
00:15:37,426 --> 00:15:39,009
ELDRIDGE: No way.
JAKE: Come on.
406
00:15:39,011 --> 00:15:40,978
My grandma has real teeth.
You happy?
407
00:15:40,980 --> 00:15:42,146
ELDRIDGE:
How do you know?
408
00:15:42,148 --> 00:15:44,064
JAKE:
She bit me once.
409
00:15:45,483 --> 00:15:47,017
Well, that was great.
410
00:15:47,019 --> 00:15:49,953
I'm really glad we got
to spend some time together.
411
00:15:49,955 --> 00:15:51,739
Yeah, it was lovely.
412
00:15:51,741 --> 00:15:53,323
Yeah. Oh, don't forget
413
00:15:53,325 --> 00:15:55,576
we have that meeting
with the venture fund tomorrow.
414
00:15:55,578 --> 00:15:56,744
Oh, yeah, right.
415
00:15:56,746 --> 00:15:58,812
Bye.
Oh, bye.
416
00:15:58,814 --> 00:16:00,614
Oh, do me a favor, Zoey.
417
00:16:00,616 --> 00:16:03,033
Don't let him wear sandals
to the meeting.
418
00:16:03,035 --> 00:16:04,868
I really don't tell him
what to wear.
419
00:16:04,870 --> 00:16:07,071
That's okay. You'll learn.
420
00:16:08,706 --> 00:16:10,374
Don't wear sandals
to the meeting.
421
00:16:10,376 --> 00:16:11,925
Good night.
Good night.
422
00:16:11,927 --> 00:16:13,260
Night-night.
Bye. Drive safe.
423
00:16:13,262 --> 00:16:15,712
Mm.
424
00:16:15,714 --> 00:16:17,464
(sighs)
I think that went great.
425
00:16:17,466 --> 00:16:18,799
Do you?
426
00:16:18,801 --> 00:16:20,300
You don't?
427
00:16:20,302 --> 00:16:21,552
I don't.
428
00:16:21,554 --> 00:16:23,804
I don't, either.
429
00:16:25,190 --> 00:16:27,691
Did... Um, did I miss something?
430
00:16:27,693 --> 00:16:30,027
Obviously,
you missed everything.
431
00:16:30,029 --> 00:16:31,612
That horrible woman
won't be happy
432
00:16:31,614 --> 00:16:33,313
till she's destroyed
our relationship,
433
00:16:33,315 --> 00:16:34,648
and she has you back.
434
00:16:34,650 --> 00:16:36,116
What? No!
435
00:16:36,118 --> 00:16:37,851
She has a boyfriend.
She's happy.
436
00:16:37,853 --> 00:16:40,687
Oh, how can you be so smart
about some things
437
00:16:40,689 --> 00:16:43,023
and so stupid about others?
438
00:16:43,025 --> 00:16:45,075
Okay, wait, just to be clear,
439
00:16:45,077 --> 00:16:48,361
what am I smart about
and what am I stupid about?!
440
00:16:50,014 --> 00:16:52,416
Oh, what?
Now you can't hear me!
441
00:16:52,418 --> 00:16:54,468
♪ Men. ♪
442
00:16:54,470 --> 00:16:57,004
Anybody want more
mashed potatoes?
443
00:16:57,006 --> 00:16:58,806
Oh, gosh, I'm
full, Jean,
444
00:16:58,808 --> 00:17:00,257
but everything's
so delicious.
445
00:17:00,259 --> 00:17:01,842
Thank you.
446
00:17:01,844 --> 00:17:04,678
And how lucky were you to
grow up with Mom's home cooking?
447
00:17:04,680 --> 00:17:07,147
Excuse me. You grew up
with home cooking, too.
448
00:17:07,149 --> 00:17:09,883
Yes, but the maid
did the cooking.
449
00:17:09,885 --> 00:17:12,186
It was still at home.
450
00:17:13,554 --> 00:17:16,056
Make sure
you leave room for dessert.
451
00:17:16,058 --> 00:17:17,491
I made pie.
452
00:17:17,493 --> 00:17:19,059
Oh, I love Grandma's pie.
453
00:17:20,495 --> 00:17:22,863
Yeah, yeah, I heard it, too.
454
00:17:22,865 --> 00:17:24,531
(clinking spoon on glass)
455
00:17:24,533 --> 00:17:27,167
There's something
I'd like to say.
456
00:17:27,169 --> 00:17:29,036
Oh, dear God, here it comes.
457
00:17:30,288 --> 00:17:34,875
It gives me such pleasure
to welcome Jean into my home
458
00:17:34,877 --> 00:17:38,629
and to share our new friendship
with our two families.
459
00:17:38,631 --> 00:17:40,881
Hear, hear.
Hear, hear.
460
00:17:40,883 --> 00:17:42,266
Hear, hear.
461
00:17:42,268 --> 00:17:45,385
And I'd just like to thank Evy
for showing me
462
00:17:45,387 --> 00:17:49,006
that it's never too late to
teach an old dog new tricks.
463
00:17:50,892 --> 00:17:53,593
Certainly didn't teach
her to fetch a bone.
464
00:17:53,595 --> 00:17:55,028
Shh.
465
00:17:56,430 --> 00:17:58,115
I have a question.
466
00:17:58,117 --> 00:18:00,017
Oh, God, here it comes.
467
00:18:01,035 --> 00:18:03,036
If you and her
were cannibals,
468
00:18:03,038 --> 00:18:05,822
which do you think
would eat the other?
469
00:18:08,826 --> 00:18:12,529
There you have it:
the upside of stupid.
470
00:18:16,951 --> 00:18:19,386
ZOEY: I'm sorry, Walden,
but Bridget's right.
471
00:18:19,388 --> 00:18:21,555
You have history with her;
you have none with me.
472
00:18:21,557 --> 00:18:23,557
You can't even be sure
I love you for yourself
473
00:18:23,559 --> 00:18:24,624
and not your money.
474
00:18:24,626 --> 00:18:25,809
What are you saying?
475
00:18:25,811 --> 00:18:27,644
I'm saying,
I think it might be better
476
00:18:27,646 --> 00:18:30,013
for both of us
if we went our separate ways.
477
00:18:30,015 --> 00:18:32,149
Okay, that's one approach...
478
00:18:32,151 --> 00:18:34,651
which stinks.
479
00:18:34,653 --> 00:18:38,155
So, let me make
a counterproposal.
480
00:18:38,157 --> 00:18:40,473
Why don't you move in with me?
481
00:18:40,475 --> 00:18:43,026
What?
482
00:18:43,028 --> 00:18:44,861
Yeah, you and Ava
move in with me.
483
00:18:44,863 --> 00:18:47,281
I love you,
and I want you in my life,
484
00:18:47,283 --> 00:18:49,700
I want... I want
to have a future with you.
485
00:18:49,702 --> 00:18:51,985
Really?
486
00:18:51,987 --> 00:18:53,337
Really.
487
00:18:53,339 --> 00:18:55,789
AVA: Mummy, Mummy,
please say yes!
488
00:18:55,791 --> 00:18:58,959
What are you doing
out of bed?!
489
00:18:58,961 --> 00:19:01,962
I love you, Walden!
490
00:19:01,964 --> 00:19:03,997
I love you, Ava.
491
00:19:03,999 --> 00:19:06,666
Get back into bed!
492
00:19:06,668 --> 00:19:07,968
Hmm. Let's see.
493
00:19:07,970 --> 00:19:11,355
So, that's one vote for yes,
and I vote yes,
494
00:19:11,357 --> 00:19:14,057
so, the motion is passed.
495
00:19:14,059 --> 00:19:17,444
There is one
tiny little problem.
496
00:19:17,446 --> 00:19:18,445
What's that?
497
00:19:18,447 --> 00:19:20,814
If Ava and I move in,
498
00:19:20,816 --> 00:19:24,685
isn't somebody going
to have to move out?
499
00:19:25,503 --> 00:19:28,288
Hmm.
500
00:19:29,540 --> 00:19:31,074
(groans)
501
00:19:31,076 --> 00:19:33,193
What's the matter?
I don't know.
502
00:19:33,195 --> 00:19:36,380
Just felt a little shiver
go down my spine.
503
00:19:36,382 --> 00:19:38,548
(groans)
504
00:19:43,639 --> 00:19:45,223
♪ Men. ♪
505
00:19:45,225 --> 00:19:47,275
Here you go.
506
00:19:47,977 --> 00:19:49,810
I got to ask.
507
00:19:49,812 --> 00:19:51,679
What's with the tea?
508
00:19:51,681 --> 00:19:53,631
You make it for me.
You make it for Lyndsey.
509
00:19:53,633 --> 00:19:55,099
Well, I've got
a little philosophy.
510
00:19:55,101 --> 00:19:56,234
When someone's nice enough
511
00:19:56,236 --> 00:19:58,436
to let me into their home
or their pants,
512
00:19:58,438 --> 00:19:59,770
I like to show my appreciation.
513
00:19:59,772 --> 00:20:01,439
Without spending
any money.
514
00:20:01,441 --> 00:20:03,974
You know me so well.
515
00:20:03,976 --> 00:20:05,610
So, recap.
516
00:20:05,612 --> 00:20:06,861
How'd your dinner go?
517
00:20:06,863 --> 00:20:08,112
Oh, pretty well, actually.
518
00:20:08,114 --> 00:20:09,914
The grandmas were
on their best behavior,
519
00:20:09,916 --> 00:20:12,033
and the two boys--
well, let's just say,
520
00:20:12,035 --> 00:20:15,670
they're gonna be living with us
for a long, long time. And you?
521
00:20:15,672 --> 00:20:17,755
Oh, good, good.
It went really good.
522
00:20:17,757 --> 00:20:20,174
So, everything's okay with Zoey?
Yeah, it's fantastic.
523
00:20:20,176 --> 00:20:22,843
Sounds like everything's great
with you and Lyndsey, huh?
524
00:20:22,845 --> 00:20:24,462
Oh, yeah, more than good.
525
00:20:24,464 --> 00:20:26,631
Oh, forgot the honey.
526
00:20:28,634 --> 00:20:30,601
She owns her own home, right?
527
00:20:30,603 --> 00:20:31,936
Yeah.
528
00:20:31,938 --> 00:20:33,854
(groans)
529
00:20:33,856 --> 00:20:37,141
Hmm. Think I may be coming down
with something.
530
00:20:37,143 --> 00:20:41,143
== sync, corrected by elderman ==