SPECIAL PRIZE BY THE MINISTRY OF CULTURE IN THE YEAR 1979
www.nieco.com text nieco nieco
This very morning,
I'll send you the reconstructed film and this tape.
If what I think is going to happen does happen,
no one will send you the last film.
You'll have to come and get it.
RAPTURE
Stop.
Stop! Stop!
And now, back up, please.
She gets in the coffin and we stay with her until...
until there. - Here what?
You mark the beginning of the fade.
It fades to black and then
it says: "The End". - What about the flaming coffin?
Don't need it, can't you see? We throw it out.
Okay. Let's get this straight... - What?
This is not good.
This one either? Why?
Because she's looking at the camera the entire shot.
She gets inside the coffin, and there, she looks at us.
I think there are some more takes. Let's check them first.
You're joking, it's the only interesting bit in the entire picture.
Come on, time's up! Let's go! - No, forget it, I'm staying.
See you Monday. - Bye.
Look, this way we can skip the final credits.
She looks at the audience and they automatically understand
that she's delighted to be a vampire.
It's fun, she doesn't regret it. And there the story ends. Full stop.
Fade to black, no regrets.
Look, the important thing is knowing
what she does and doesn't want. Nothing else matters. Superfluous cinema.
Get out of here!
Jose, I don't get you.
I don't get you at all. You're acting weird.
If we're going to work like this, I guarantee you'll ruin this film.
Which, by the way, was fine until today.
Until today!
Better than "The Curse", that's for sure. And boy, were you happy then.
Do you think so? - You betcha! Of course.
You were just starting up with Ana and you were happy. Damn it...
What's the matter with you? It all went... nowhere, right?
Look, Jose. Sorry to insist, but this is no way...
Shooting ended yesterday, you drove all night,
you've been messing this up all day long. One more take, then get some sleep.
I don't want to see any more takes.
I want what we saw, fading to black from where I said.
Yes sir, whatever you say.
Fade? I'll fade it. Dissolve? I'll dissolve it. No problem!
But don't come in on Monday wanting the bat scene,
or the flaming coffin... or talking about Film...
Cause I'm sick of... - Film? What Film?
Screw Film.
Oh, I know... You're screwing it, alright!
Of course, and you know why?
Because, in the end...
It isn't me who loves Cinema...
But Cinema... - But Cinema that loves me.
Oh... Fuck off!
And so our opera programme is coming to an end.
It's 10:00 p.m. and the temperature on the Gran Via is 28 degrees centigrade.
Ah, it's you. So, you're back.
How about the movies? Lotta work, huh? - Yes, yes...
Oh, wait a sec... There's something for you.
The postman brought it last week.
It's registered and I signed for it.
You never know if they'll come back.
I tried to give it to Miss Ana, but she sidestepped me.
You know? I haven't seen her since... - Is Miss Ana here?
Yes, she came around a couple of days ago.
I mean, today's Friday, right?
Friday... On Saturday.
She came in with a bag and asked for you.
I told her you'd be back by the end of the week...
I went for the parcel, came back, and she was already on the 3rd floor.
And I know she doesn't like to be disturbed, so the parcel's still here.
You're out of here right now, I don't care.
You're out of here right now, I don't care. I don't care!
Ana.
Ana!
And tonight...
When will this awful, tiresome dandruff problem end?
Put an end to it with Revlon Zp11 shampoo.
Zp11 contains zinc pyrithione, which eradicates dandruff completely.
Zp11 shampoo by Revlon.
Jose, it's me, Pedro. Do you remember me?
What I'm sending you... just listen and watch, or better still, eat and digest it.
Right away, if possible. It may be urgent...
Maybe you don't recognise my voice,
but it shouldn't come as a surprise, if you remember who I am.
Is that you?
Jose, it's me, Pedro. Do you remember me?
What I'm sending you... just listen and watch, or better still, eat and digest it.
Right away, if possible. It may be urgent...
Maybe you don't recognise my voice,
but it shouldn't come as a surprise, if you remember who I am.
I know we only saw each other twice in our lives, but so what?
But I know, only you could understand what happened.
After all, if it wasn't for you,
I'd still be filming my aunt or at best my cousin Marta.
He got her doing all sorts of things,
singing and dancing, playing the piano, cooking...
Everywhere except the bathroom! - Yeah, but I mean...
What does he do? Narratives with a script? Like documentaries or...?
Who knows? You think he shows them?
He doesn't? - No way!
The only one who ever saw them, and I'm not too sure about it, was my ex-husband.
Carlos? - Yes.
You see, it was probably so strange that they never spoke to each other again.
What did Carlos say? - He was so rude, I don't even remember.
What I do know is that, more than once, walking past Pedro's door,
he was inside, watching his own movies and crying in desperation.
So?
What do you mean "So"? They're not dramas.
He cries because he doesn't like them. They terrify... they horrify him.
His own films! Isn't that terrible, Jose?
He sees it as dedication. - Right.
Wait, it's here to the right.
I was very fond of Marta.
As you know, she taught me the tricks I needed to stay on course.
And how not to dance to anyone's tune anymore. Well, you know what I mean.
Although she matured as of late and started to get motherly on me.
Thinking she could follow me, like when she was little and we lived together.
Oh, right... For my cousin, cinema is...
Cinemania!
You're crazy. - You see, a bit raw, so to speak.
The film thing? - No, him. Pedro.
Sure, if he doesn't eat or screw or sleep or anything...
Man, I said he 'hardly' ate or drank or screwed...
So, anyway, how old is he? - Well, it depends...
What do you mean?
He's a guy who's lived for 27 years but is...
...12.
I know a lot who are like that. - I doubt it.
There he is. Look. Stop. Stop. There he is. Stop.
Blow the horn, blow it. Where is it?
I'll give him the film. Wait a sec.
Pedro! Pedro, it's me!
Marta.
When you came to see the house for a film you were going to do,
I'd been looking for help for a long time. You weren't the first...
What film? Are you stupid? Look what you've done, stupid!
Get out of here, stupid! - The way you act sometimes, Pedro!
Shit, shit, shit!
Doesn't he feel hot in that? - Hot? Do you remember Christmas?
39, 40...
Those mushrooms? Well, those bits, anyway.
Paco's rabbit, always walking around, ended up eating them.
Paco? It was Luis who had a rabbit. - Oh, right, at Luis's place.
Yes, so?
Remember what happened?
Yes, no one could tell you from the rabbit.
That's right, but the thing is, it was the rabbit who ate the mushrooms... not us.
...but you were the most useful.
Usually, people who came with Marta
didn't deserve me leaving my state of being at all.
I preferred to get it wrong rather than having to explain about myself.
But with you it was different. Not only did you make movies,
but it was also your fate to hate doing it intensely.
Your magnetic halo gave you away.
I kind of like this. - You do? But man, it's a mess!
I like it. - It wasn't at all like this before.
And besides, you came at a crucial time for me.
Marta was more right than she realised.
Aunt Carmen, where are you?
Martita, is that you? Come in, I'm...
I'd been filming everything around me, again and again, for too long.
The same sparkles, the same pauses... Do you remember?
Are you okay?
Come on, let's have dinner. - The cake was marvellous,
but it's no longer the same. - I liked it a lot. You, Jose?
Delicious. The pastry has to...
Shall I turn on the TV? - I refuse to eat with the TV on.
With coffee perhaps, but not when I'm eating.
You bet, it's bad for everything.
Do you like watching TV? - I only watch the movies.
Movies, of course.
It's annoying, because some are very good but I miss them all.
I often go to the cinema, you know?
We used to travel a lot and bring back some marvellous colour films.
Yes, I remember, and almost all of them were about water-skiing.
I'll get me some coffee. Asun isn't very well, is she?
Don't think so. - "The white is fine."
That woman. I mean, I don't get it. So fat, looking that way...
But she's a genius, right? - You like her, like all young men.
I'll never understand it. She was successful, wasn't she?
Her? The most famous of all.
I suppose, you hired famous actors for your film. What was the title again?
"Wolf Men".
Oh, right. And you said I can't have seen it?
It's curious, yet... Are you sure Alan Ladd isn't in it?
I've seen them all, and if I'm not mistaken...
Yes, but... the movie hasn't been released or even finished...
Right. That's why I'm taking the liberty of giving you advice. As a matter of fact...
No. Not Alan Ladd...
But it's important to film it in colour, believe me. This fad for black and white...
It doesn't convince me at all.
This film, for instance, was in colour when I first saw it.
And look at it now, all grey. Poor thing...
This is a colour TV, isn't it? - It was, but I scraped it all off.
Do you know what they do? They freeze them to save the colour.
And it shows, of course. It's not the same. - She's colour-blind.
Don't whisper, dear. I can hear you anyway. And I'm not catatonic either.
Actually, I've a very good memory and this isn't the same as it used to be.
Well, let's watch the film, shall we?
I breath life into those fascinating sirens that you love so much.
But in reality I'm a completely different person.
Beneath all this glitter, Maby Sarden is as human as...
Something else you must tell me, Mr... - Not "Mr", aunty, please.
...is why, when they start singing or crying,
their voices change and they sound like chickens.
That's the dubbing, aunty, you know that. - Well, it didn't happen before.
It's always been that way and they don't sound like chickens.
Well, anyway...
Isn't it depressing? The colour used to be marvellous.
You tried to look sceptical and vulgar.
And now, dear friends, I would like to say good night to you all...
But the back of your neck gave you away. You were dying for something to happen.
You're wrong, aunty.
She's always insisted that this dress is white with blue flowers, for instance.
So don't try and tell me about this film, because you've never seen it till the end.
Don't be angry, aunty. And why the need for all this renovation to sell the house?
Look, the buyer insisted on it before signing...
Your friend is easily distracted. - You haven't drunk your coffee, Jose.
I like it cold. - No bad idea, with this heat.
Well, I'm off to bed. Tomorrow, Marta will show you around.
I hope you like it. - I don't think it's right for him.
If you like it, I hope you'll give me a part in it, even in disguise.
I'd like to see myself. I've been filmed before,
but since we can't see it... And I want to see myself.
In colour? - Sure, young man.
Tomorrow I'll start sunbathing and in a fortnight I'll look like a golden apple.
No... it's going to be a pale picture. - I won't do it then.
Good night, aunty.
Good night.
Don't open the windows... The insects, you know.
If you wait a second, I'll bring you that thing.
You passed the first test easily.
I decided to carry on when Marta had finished with you,
or you with Marta. Whatever... But I had to wait a long time.
I couldn't show you the films just like that, you know what I mean?
Don't you want to talk about your cousin any more?
You like him, huh?
Hey, Marta...
you didn't put something in my drink, did you?
In your drink?
At supper, I mean. - Shut up and sniff that.
I don't want to talk about my cousin.
Jose... Jose?
Uff... All at one blow. I'm dead.
I'm glad I took my contact lenses out.
Here, Jose. - Thanks.
Good night. - No, no, no, wait.
No, no. Sleep tight. - Wait, let me tell you something.
Sweet dreams. - But Marta, I want to...
Mart...
With you I wanted to play fair and thought a chat would be a good way to start.
Treat me. I... I want to talk to you.
Less, less... Best let me do it.
I'll do it.
According to Marta, she kept that powder
so that we could go back to my childhood when she came to see us.
But I couldn't disagree more.
My cousin says you make movies.
And some music too. What kind of movies do you make?
Well...
Forget it. I just want you to help me.
Tell me how to film at a specific rhythm.
Do you know what to do with a pause?
No, I don't know what a pause is.
I guess the chat wasn't such a good idea,
but it helped, as I always make mistakes first.
A pause is the Achilles Heel.
The vanishing point. Our only chance.
Let's see. What were your favourite cards for collecting as a kid?
Really...
this is incredible.
Some delicate shit.
If you overdo it...
...no good.
A real bitch, that's for sure. But it works for me.
It works for me with the others, those who come from outside.
Because I don't speak to my family.
They're all right.
I don't fuck either. Well...
I do fuck my cousin and her husband, that is.
"King Solomon's Mines".
That was my favourite collection. - That's okay. Don't you think?
I don't sleep, you know? When there's no other way...
I take some of that powder.
'Cause it lowers my rhythm.
But I don't like it.
It makes me grow up.
You should be more careful, shouldn't you?
You look too grown up.
But "King Solomon's Mines"... Good choice. Come on.
Come on, let's go. Can you get my sweater and jacket?
Come on in. I'll make you some room.
Are you always cold? - Almost always. Sit down.
I love finding key things, but it's not easy.
Not even with my own things. Especially with those.
You surprised me. The surprise factor counts.
But you weren't surprised.
Here, let's see if you like it that much.
KING SOLOMON'S MINES
Tell me, how long could you spend looking at this card?
And this one? Remember?
And this border?
And this other one? Years... Centuries...
An entire morning... Impossible to know.
Pure escapism. Ecstasy.
Suspended in pure pause. Enraptured.
Look.
Well, you're not so bad.
That's what it's all about. You see? Nothing to do with memories.
Quite the contrary. It'll have to be... here and now. And for the first time.
This was so you'd know what I'm talking about.
Now let's get on with it, the effect's wearing off
and I could turn into a pumpkin any second now.
Would you like another line? - More? No way!
I'll show you this, but you won't tell a soul, will you?
All that build-up just to end up watching that garbage,
although nice garbage.
It was embarrassing for me, but I had to get you interested one way or another.
But I knew that once the projection started, I'd be out of action.
But remember that I'd been making the same images for centuries.
My whole life at that time had been like one long wank without coming.
Even though I actually thought that this here was 'coming'.
How far I was from understanding the meaning, the purpose,
the role, the game that 'making films' represented.
You promised to help me.
But once you'd left and returned to your home, to your things,
I suppose, I just turned into something hysterical and absurd for you.
Into something exotic, maybe.
Something that makes you open your eyes but that you'll forget again right away.
How on Earth...?
How can you... - Fill the house?
...dare come back?
Well, actually I did think about that.
I'd never used lipstick before. Just balm if my lips were sore.
Then one day somebody kissed me and said I was dull.
And since then I've smeared myself red, day and night.
Perversion red, fascination red, rape red, penetration red...
A strange guy who'd found you... - And you've kissed me
just to take the red from my lips and injected me to shut me up.
With your strange obsession for film... - I'm trying to say that...
I want you to know that I always did... - Back then, also...
what others told me, but always returned. - ...you had more ideas than you have now.
And now... - ...I think.
Well, now it isn't as easy anymore. It's no fun.
I wonder... - No fun at all...
if you're still with your girlfriend...
...and your powders. You're among those who might know how to use them.
But I don't know.
I was afraid you might forget all about me.
Marta told me that you wouldn't be shooting at our house after all.
And I asked myself what was the point of my tender age,
which had been so hard to hold on to, if it wouldn't get me to where I aimed for.
And all I got out of it was those unbearable spasms.
What are you cooking up? - A surprise ending.
I've got a bit of the best in the world.
But that's not acid.
Look, there's blows... and there's fucking.
But, of those blows that are not fucking,
this blow...
...is the best fuck.
Coke.
Horse, baby. Heroin.
Got a problem with that?
I couldn't feel better than I do right now.
I'm not surprised. But there's always something better and you know it.
You can get hooked on that. - Nonsense. It's like everything else.
Just don't overdo it... If you do, then it's no good.
That's why I feel like easy prey. - A real bitch. Yes, sir.
Calm...
Tame. - You talking about this? Wow!
Delicate shit.
Did I mention Pedro?
The guy from the weekend who...
Jose, tell me shooting will start in a few weeks.
Fortunately you didn't say goodbye.
That made you feel guilty and like you owed me something.
I even thought the spasms could kill me.
I was getting used to the idea when I suddenly received this fantastic machine.
The results were overwhelming.
Now I no longer needed to rely on my pulse, which was a bit unsteady.
I felt like going into town and telling everyone,
but I knew how to keep my rhythm... and only called you.
Don't give in, Jose. This has less and less to do with the original project.
You're the director. Stand your ground! - Who cares? The title's not important.
Besides, "Wolf Men" wasn't exactly...
But "The Curse of the Wolfman" is even worse.
It's so trite, that "The of the The".
Look, if I don't do this one, I'll never make it, okay?
Yes, I know that.
But do it with the original title, with the scenes they want to cut and with my voice.
What's all this 'dubbing me' about, anyway? - Hit you where it hurts, huh?
I'm not so sure about this countryside idea.
Have you noticed how pale you're looking? - Yeah.
You need sunlight, baby. Fresh air, country bugs. To get away from Madrid.
I'd rather sleep at home. - No.
Yes. - No way! Dammit!
Besides, he's a very special guy, I want you to meet him. You won't regret it.
Wait till you see the kind of films he makes.
Of course, I didn't tell you to bring that Ana of yours.
A rather excessive girl who'd take whatever comes her way in a fortnight.
Shit, I forgot to bring it.
What? - What do you think? Horse!
And you? You brought some?
Cheer up, Turner.
Hey! That's Marta's aunt.
Hello. Well, it's about time! - Hello.
It's a pity I won't be there. Tomorrow, perhaps?
No, sorry. We decided to shoot it all in Madrid in the end.
I thought Marta had told you. We came to see Pedro.
...so I still won't get to see myself in a film then?
Did you sell the house?
Yes. Know where we're going? - No idea.
To Hollywood? - To Lourdes.
Isn't it marvellous? Or rather "miraculous" which maybe is more adequate.
It is indeed! Is Pedro going too?
To be honest, I didn't dare tell him yet. He might think it a hint, which it isn't.
And he's been so happy all week. I'll have to wait for him to feel low.
I don't know. We'll see... I'm Carmen. - I'm Ana. How are you?
See you later. Pleased to meet you. Close the gate for me, please.
Yes, no problem. - I don't want the cows to get out.
That complicated things a little.
I had to change my plans for the day and with all the hurry, I got the wrong object.
Well, she was going to be a tough one, no doubt. Because actually,
when she was little she went to see a version of the "Pied Piper of Hamelin"
with exactly the same set design as I'd put out for her.
I'm upstairs. Come and help me get this chest of drawers down.
But fact is, it didn't captivate her.
Actually, to be honest,
I was worried that if she didn't shoot it up her vein,
I wouldn't be able to enrapture her the way I did.
What a mess it turned out to be.
Wait, have you got powder? - What?
I need some or I won't go in.
What if I haven't? - Yes, you have.
Give me some, come on. - Alright, but quick, she mustn't know.
Some more, don't be mean. - More?
I told her I didn't have any.
You shouldn't have brought her then. - Don't. Let's go or she'll notice.
Let her. - Come on, go ahead and act normal, please.
What a hot day today.
Ana, you're making a fool of yourself.
Put that away and stop showing off.
A fool, me? I'm not hiding things, Jose.
No, you just show off.
You're such a pain.
"You can get hooked on that."
Just stop... - No, you stop!
And that's the end of it, okay?
Then don't make me talk. Just give me some and that's it.
No. - Sure. Give her some.
A little more, what can happen? All in all...
Frankly, it's written all over your faces.
You two are no longer up for pauses or raptures anymore.
No. A bit worn out. - What's he talking about?
Especially you!
Would you cry at the sight of a miserable "Kim of India" card?
Or one from "King Solomon's Mines"? - I can't see what's funny about that.
I challenge you to lose yourself more than 10 minutes in that place.
Just hand it over. - No, not like that.
That way it would have to be two hours...
...and on my little chair. Don't you agree?
I've brought you something.
Do you like it?
Not bad... Not bad!
Now let's see what could enrapture that girl...
You won.
Congratulations. Maybe I was wrong.
It turns out that you're ecstatic creatures like myself.
I hope you agree with my picture. But now I'm hungry.
I haven't eaten in a month, and I have to eat.
A month according to others, a day for me, you know what I mean?
A single day. Relaxed. No tension, no powders.
You'd find that a drag? Well, it isn't. Can you follow me, or can't you?
Christ, how hungry and thirsty I am.
I'll drink alcohol. After all, a century is a century.
Let's pour money down the drain!
Really, I fell asleep after five minutes.
But it's true, it is. This very same Betty Boop... This one, with this tear...
that Lila stitched for me when I was 5 years old...
It was my most favourite thing in the whole world.
Isn't that strange? - Yes.
The gazpacho was good, but not as good as before.
Want some alcohol? No?
Really? You don't want any?
You can keep her.
If you think it helps... it'll make it easier to reach that point,
then take it with you.
This is really good.
But I guess it's time for me now to show you my gem.
I understand now... That is, not long ago, I came to understand
that those images didn't fascinate you as much as me.
For me they topped it all off.
That's the only mistake! The only one!
But bear in mind that I still believed in cameras that filmed,
in filmed things and in projectors that projected.
You must understand that I hadn't even had the faintest idea
of how far away I was from my true course.
And that's it for today. Thanks to the invaluable help of my friend,
I've managed to hit the mark as desired. Tomorrow I'll leave this place.
New places, other people and famous spots that no one knows lie ahead of me.
Thousands of secret rhythms that I shall discover.
The mirror shall open its doors and we shall see... the...
the... the... The Other!
So be quiet. All the world be quiet!
Keep still world, for I am coming!
Once again, I was gloriously wrong.
But let me insist: maybe it was all necessary to get to where I am now.
It was. No doubt about it.
Keep still, will you?
Turn off that music!
Don't shout at me. You've no reason to.
Want some tea? - No.
Can I talk to you now? - What for?
To ask how it went. The shoot, if you're happy with it?
How the film will be? - Bad.
Bad...
And to tell you that I've been trying and that I've almost made it.
Don't look at me like that. I haven't touched it for 3... no, 4 days.
Bravo.
But it's really hard, you know.
Especially in this state that we both have reached now, dammit!
As everybody else.
Everything's dissolving, right?
Isn't that right?
Jose, why don't we make another movie together?
Or have a baby, the two of us, or drop some acid together.
If we got into something... don't know... muscular, energetic... Fuck! physical...
...we could get out of all this here. The rows, your yelling, my inopportuneness.
We won't fight again, because we won't see each other anymore.
Who said that?
How dare you?
Do you want me to leave? Is that what you want? Tell me!
Please, Ana. Ana! - Yes or No?
A month ago... that is, the last time you asked me the same question,
you yelled at last: "I'll never come back! I'll star in a film by Fernán-Goméz."
So could you tell me... ...Okay, fine...
What am I saying... Look, don't tell me. I don't want to know a thing.
I know it all and so do you. So don't bother me!
Indeed, I took some money and left home the next day. Aunty and all...
All that I've filmed since is on the reel I'm sending you.
And I suggest you start seeing it now, if you haven't already.
Now look what you've done! You're... dreadful! A monster!
Why did I come back? Because I'm an idiot... and I don't know what pride is.
I don't get other people involved in my mess, and then get bored with them,
and even get bored with myself then to top it all off!
If it came to it, I'm sure you'd be capable of killing me.
But don't you worry, I'll pack my bags and leave.
Believe it or not, there are some places where I'm not in the way,
and where people just take me for what I am.
I'm sick of hypocritical do-gooders.
I thought you were smarter.
Fancy a sniff?
I hate you.
You're a bastard, Jose. - Look who's talking.
Me? All this cash on the carpet and...
Talking about smack. Didn't do it for weeks.
Smack... Didn't take any, sure. But I bet you've dreamed about it.
Not me, but you.
Me? Sure! Dreamt of it, tasted it, took it, killed...
Fine. So what? You've got me hooked, so? - What a bitch you are, shit!
Wanna see a film?
A film? I'm not too sure.
Remember Pedro?
Yes, the Betty Boop guy. I didn't want to take it, remember?
Of course.
When was that?
It was... uff...
You hadn't taken up "The Curse" yet, right?
A year ago, more or less.
Just a moment, okay?
I thought I was on the edge of total rapture, starting out on my path to glory.
Already on the train I was seized by a mad feeling of euphoria.
Segovia to Madrid turned out to be Venus to Pluto.
Speeds added up, divided, multiplied.
So many rhythms, all different, which I'd never seen before...
I thought I was on the edge of total rapture, starting out on my path to glory.
Already on the train I was seized by a mad feeling of euphoria.
Segovia to Madrid turned out to be Venus to Pluto.
Speeds added up, divided, multiplied.
So many rhythms, all different, which I'd never seen before,
but had sensed had actually been there all along... yet for, not against.
But the thing was that now I felt they were happening.
I was finding treasure in everything and anything would bring me to ecstasy...
Or at least that was what I felt sure of.
Anyway, I moved into the heights of an apartment building
and set out to possess it all.
I didn't want to socialize with people, as you know.
I wanted my relationships to be produced by film alone.
By shooting and projecting.
But, of course, since I needed fresh prey, I had no choice but to talk to them,
convince them, arrange to meet them, treat them to drinks, meals...
Well, as you know, I can't do things like that without 'certain' help.
Fine, let's not fool ourselves. The truth is...
I needed pleasure, I didn't need help at all.
Additional pleasure.
So, just like that,
I found myself trapped by little things that absorbed all my energy,
not knowing what would happen next, as if going round and round in circles,
and completely forgetting about what I'd come here for.
Finally there came a day when there was nothing new to see,
nothing to surprise or amaze me, no force to shoot, no nothing.
My voice had aggravated completely, as had my looks.
I quickly shaved and ate, and spent the whole day
surrounded by people who just got in my way.
The last film had come out black.
Other people had been using the camera
and I didn't want to see it anymore and just tried to forget my cinema...
...or call it what you want... ...and perhaps kill myself.
Where had all this ecstasy, magic and rapture gone?
That 'state of grace' I'd went out to restore?
Where were my vanishing points? I couldn't even think about it.
I'd wrecked it all.
I was full of despair. I threw everyone out. Friends, lovers...
...and I cried, like I never had before. Neither on my worst days,
nor at my worst private screenings had I ever cried like that before.
On the fourth day I fell asleep, intending never to wake up again.
But most astonishingly a rapture took place... without me doing a thing.
Something had passed through me while I was asleep.
Then I noticed that the camera at the foot of my bed
had been click-clicking for God knows how long.
All in all, I decided to have the film developed.
Did you see that red frame? Stop! Don't let it go! You have to examine it!
You'll notice that the one just before the red one isn't like the others.
Do you see it? I sit up and then "flash" and I lie down again.
As if I'd seen something or something was about to happen to me.
Ten seconds later, I think something does happen to me.
And another ten seconds after that, I return to my position. See it?
Watch carefully.
As if the camera had refused to photograph it.
When I saw it for the first time I felt something inexplicable.
I knew, from the moment I got up, that something had happened...
I felt like someone else. But that film confirmed it to me...
It gave me back my strength.
I had waited four days before I was able to see it...
And I knew immediately that I no longer wanted anything other than that...
...and more of it.
I'd been without food, without sleep,
without taking anything for the last four days.
Something that had never happened before.
And now all I wanted was more of that! But what was 'that'?
When I woke up that afternoon, it was quite difficult to recompose myself.
I thought the city had cut me up into pieces,
while the remains of a hurricane, ten times stronger than the previous one,
were sweeping through my brain. It had happened again, but stronger and better.
"Who'll come and help me?" I asked myself with only minimal curiosity.
Maybe some ally from my childhood... ...my real one.
Or even some bloodsucker. I'd been told they operated during the daytime lately.
Here you go.
Can I...? Can I have three... six, six cartridges?
Kodachrome? - Yes.
That's... four thousand pesetas.
When? - Same as always.
Four days, alright? - Yes.
I quickly fell back again into my good old habits.
Again I felt a rhythm... my rhythm.
Cutting myself off and turning away from people was again a charming idea and
cinema and I became accomplices again. But accomplices in what?
That wasn't clear at all.
That red frame... Was it a coincidence?
Or was it some incompatibility between the film and my rapture?
On the other hand, I hadn't chosen the film's subject,
and I wasn't ecstatic in the least to see myself asleep on the screen.
Cut.
The pleasure was on the other side and I felt good enough
that I waited another four days, dying with curiosity to see a new red spot.
That was when I made a serious mistake that almost cost me my life.
I felt so weak that I opened the door to this friend of mine who visited me.
Pedro, open up please, I know you're in there.
I warn you, I'm not leaving till I've seen you, do you hear? You are okay, right?
Pedro, I've brought you tons of croissants. - Gloria.
I've been to a party you'd die for... that is, if you're not dead already.
Christ! Pedro! Are you alright? Pedro! At least answer me! Jeez!
If...
What's that? Are you with someone? - If you...
I'll open you, if you bring me the film they'll give you for this. It's nearby.
Well... Alright.
But kick out whoever's in there with you. I want to see you alone.
Here's the pastries. Christ, what a mess!
I don't understand how I could have thought I could remain unharmed
by such a return to my most recent past,
without first having gone through a steriliser or something like that?
I'll let you in if you promise to sit quietly. Think, you can manage?
Let me in, whoever you are.
Can I have my film? - Yes.
What happened to your voice? Is it really you? Say something.
I say, give me my film. - And we've been worried and all...
The phone off the hook... But where have you been all that time?
What's the matter, fella? - Look, I've got to...
I bet you don't know where I've just been. - Go! I don't want to know.
What's up? Going through cold turkey, or what?
I have to see it alone.
Alone. Have to see it alone. - Who do you think you are, little poop?
I can't see it with other people.
This could backfire. Did you forget all I've taught you? The things I've done for you!
The monstrous treats that...
I'd never have thought that...
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10.
What a memory you've got!
But I was the one who gave you back a taste for elemental things!
You can't treat me like this! - 10... It's 10.
I want you there for 7 hours. - What am I? A Pekingese?
More like a bulldog. - Up yours! You know that you look awful?
I'll do it, if I feel like doing it.
And to think I was so happy bringing you all those croissants.
But what are you up to? - Wait and see.
What's wrong? Returned to your psychedelics and your stupid drugs?
You'll fall asleep and pee yourself? My patience has a limit, you know.
My curiosity to know what was behind that red spot...
...that growing red spot... blocked out any common sense I had.
I was a complete fool.
This very situation led me to three suppositions:
One: the camera wasn't behaving like that by chance.
Two: my ally was going to act in crescendo.
And three: someone had to tell me
what the film, or the camera, or whatever refused to record.
"Could it be some filthy act never seen before?" I asked myself between dreams.
Yet just a single day without my inevitable appointment
was all it took to lose control again.
It was no more and no less than those damned withdrawal symptoms.
But... What have you done? What have you done you fucking bitch?
Bitch! What have you done? How could you? Stupid!
Stupid! - My dress!
You fool! You idiot!
Once again I was drifting away from my destiny.
Pedro!
- Shut up!
What?
Pedro, I swear you'll never live to tell the tale!
"Be careful, relapses are the worst."
That's what they always say when an angina wears off.
And it's true.
At night it hadn't been so bad, but now
it's been I, who wasn't up to certain things any more.
And again I'd lost the thread, the whole thread.
I had neither the strength to cry for four days,
nor to survive for one minute longer.
And then...
...I recognised my allies.
And I was ashamed that I hadn't before.
It's been they, who were the makers of it all.
I knew there was nothing to fear.
I just had to surrender.
They possessed me... devoured me...
And I... I was happy in that surrender.
And why not? In view of such passion... ...so total and 'enrapturing'.
I always knew that cinema and I were up to something special together,
based on mutual trust, or more accurately, at least in my case, on total idolatries.
But I'd needed to be on the brink of the abyss to understand what was going on.
I threw away all my films except for the ones I'm sending you.
I even became an occasional spectator of other people's films.
Now it was a question of letting things happen, rather than doing them myself.
It was then that I reached my cinematographic prime.
Bigger than anything I'd ever imagined,
and completely unlike everything I'd expected.
Althoug perhaps you'll be able to see something that escaped me...
...the missing link.
However, that wonderful pause didn't last long.
A few days ago I realised something that I hadn't thought about before.
I'd never considered, during those ecstatic days, what might happen next,
and I have to admit that it frightened me a little.
I saw that I had 20 frames left... ...of whatever.
The red spot had spread until it left 20 free frames at the end of the reel.
And with each session, it took 10 more than the previous one.
Which meant that two times, two dreams, two doses, two raptures were left for me.
Two whatsoever, but two nonetheless.
Bearing in mind that I didn't know... that I still don't know...
what was to happen, I had four days left to see the penultimate result...
...before surrendering myself at last.
Ana... - What's the matter?
Ana, I'd rather you didn't try. Please, Ana.
Want a slap in the face, or what?!
You know I'd rather you hadn't come back, don't you?
You know that this fucking horse harms our sex life! You know that all!
And suddenly you're keen on fucking,
inspite of everything, as if nothing happened.
But it did, for fuck's sake! It can't be done, it won't work.
Not only is it all over, but even if it wasn't, I can't fuck when I shot up!
It happens a lot! Get it into your head. I can't do it!
'Us' ended a long time ago, but it already hasn't been working for a much longer time.
Accept it, it won't happen again, so don't hang out here longer than you already have.
Go to sleep, Ana. You won't find this interesting.
Until the last session there were only four days left for whatever, and...
Nothing has to happen again. - ...no one knew what was happening to me.
What?
That now is now and that you're doing it all wrong.
But I didn't know who to turn to. I hadn't seen Marta since last year.
So I chose you. I tried to call you
three days in a row. Without success.
Maybe I've got your address wrong and you won't receive this package.
Dammit, should this be the case. If it hadn't been for you,
I might well be in Lourdes now, utterly hysterical.
In any case, and considering what happened, I'm glad I couldn't reach you.
I called Marta.
She came to see me and I told her what I could.
Man, I don't know.
I don't know.
I mean...
You're absolutely sure about all that you've told me?
Sure, that's all there.
And yes, I believe you. I mean... Of course, I believe you.
You know I've always been on your side, right?
Even though you didn't manage to call me for a whole year.
But still, that proves nothing.
Taking spots for vampires that come and suck your blood...
Pedro, this may be dangerous! Have you looked at yourself lately?
And everything here? Don't you ever clean this place? And how it smells!
If aunty saw you, she'd have that fit you always wanted her to have.
That's not why I asked you to come.
Listen, as soon as we've done with this business,
we'll be out of here.
"As soon as we've done with this business"...
Marta, you disappoint me.
Well, you know I won't let this thing come tomorrow
and devour you like some praying mantis. - Promise me...
that you won't touch it today... ...until I wake up. Promise?
I'll promise, but we'll talk tonight, okay?
And by the way, when do I get to see something of yours?
Pedro...
Pedro... Pedro?
Marta... Marta?
When I woke up, Marta wasn't there. I thought she'd left, fed up with the plan.
And with empty hands I was dying to know what it was that she'd seen.
In any case, in order to know I had to wait for the film to be developed.
I've just seen it and it marks the end of the reel you're watching right now.
It's amazing, but then also it's not...
I believe my camera had never forgiven Gloria
and it was Marta that had to pay for it.
But, leaving Marta aside... ...I liked it... I loved it!
And so, here we get to the here and now.
This very morning, I'll send you the film and this tape that I've recorded for you.
If what I think will happen does happen, no one will send you the last film.
You'll have to come and get it.
What's up?
The light... please, close that. Turn it off.
I'm leaving.
No need to, I was going myself. - It doesn't matter anymore.
Stay if you want.
How long will it take? - Four days.
Any way it can be less? - Well, three then.
All right.
Here you go.
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