00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:00,195 --> 00:00:02,281 ALEX: All my life, my second cousin Eddie 2 00:00:02,352 --> 00:00:03,765 has believed he knows what's best for me. 3 00:00:03,836 --> 00:00:05,828 I'll have a passion fruit iced tea, please. 4 00:00:05,883 --> 00:00:07,849 Wrong! He'll have a medium chai. 5 00:00:07,918 --> 00:00:09,418 - Extra dirty. - Oh, no, thanks. 6 00:00:09,486 --> 00:00:11,382 I'm not a chai guy or a dirty guy. 7 00:00:11,437 --> 00:00:12,870 Trust me. That's the move here. 8 00:00:12,939 --> 00:00:15,006 I'm gonna turn you into a dirty guy. 9 00:00:15,074 --> 00:00:17,208 Oh, that's not what it sounds like. We're cousins. 10 00:00:17,276 --> 00:00:19,310 I've had to tell this guy what he likes his whole life. 11 00:00:19,379 --> 00:00:20,778 He was too scared... 12 00:00:20,847 --> 00:00:22,446 Yep. It's always Eddie knows best. 13 00:00:22,515 --> 00:00:23,981 And occasionally, he does. 14 00:00:24,050 --> 00:00:26,317 But other times, I mean, take this Incubator, 15 00:00:26,386 --> 00:00:28,219 for example, right? Eddie found it 16 00:00:28,321 --> 00:00:31,589 and talked me into signing this ridiculously long lease. 17 00:00:31,624 --> 00:00:34,091 It's not exactly perfect for what we do here because... 18 00:00:34,160 --> 00:00:36,193 [Dog barks] 19 00:00:36,295 --> 00:00:37,628 Because of that. 20 00:00:37,697 --> 00:00:39,664 Why are there dogs in the Incubator? 21 00:00:39,732 --> 00:00:41,565 Oh, they're with that new start-up "Ruff Timez". 22 00:00:41,634 --> 00:00:43,267 It's an app that pairs depressed people 23 00:00:43,336 --> 00:00:44,669 with dogs who need companions. 24 00:00:44,737 --> 00:00:46,904 Oh, I assumed that was a newspaper for dogs 25 00:00:46,973 --> 00:00:48,472 and all those guys were the editors. 26 00:00:48,541 --> 00:00:51,275 The singing landlord doesn't help. 27 00:00:51,344 --> 00:00:52,410 [Singing opera] 28 00:00:52,512 --> 00:00:54,011 Good morning, Marion. 29 00:00:54,113 --> 00:00:56,213 Well, good morning, Alex. What's the good word? 30 00:00:56,282 --> 00:00:57,915 Well, you know, I'm trying to record my podcast. 31 00:00:57,984 --> 00:00:59,279 [Chuckles] Good luck. 32 00:00:59,349 --> 00:01:00,934 - It's loud in here, huh? - Yeah. 33 00:01:00,987 --> 00:01:04,488 [Singing continues] 34 00:01:04,557 --> 00:01:05,790 I think we're gonna need... 35 00:01:05,858 --> 00:01:07,925 [Blow dryer whirrs] 36 00:01:07,960 --> 00:01:11,062 - ...to do some offsite recording! - On it! 37 00:01:11,130 --> 00:01:13,064 Al, get ready. 38 00:01:13,166 --> 00:01:17,201 You are about to be famous. 39 00:01:19,639 --> 00:01:20,871 What the hell is that? 40 00:01:20,940 --> 00:01:23,240 Strategically placed bus-bench ads. 41 00:01:23,309 --> 00:01:24,909 It's called "creating buzz". 42 00:01:24,977 --> 00:01:27,244 It looks like he's doing a podcast about construction. 43 00:01:27,313 --> 00:01:29,213 O-Or I'm a Village Person who's been shunned 44 00:01:29,315 --> 00:01:30,347 by the other Village People. 45 00:01:30,450 --> 00:01:32,283 Either way, gets people talking. 46 00:01:32,385 --> 00:01:33,517 Yeah, it gets them talking about a guy 47 00:01:33,586 --> 00:01:35,453 who's in love with his extension cord. 48 00:01:35,521 --> 00:01:36,687 Who told you to do bus ads? 49 00:01:36,756 --> 00:01:39,523 Nobody needed to tell me. I knew it intuitively. 50 00:01:39,592 --> 00:01:41,892 This is a really bad idea on so many levels, okay? 51 00:01:41,961 --> 00:01:44,428 We can't afford this, we don't even have an air-date, 52 00:01:44,464 --> 00:01:45,996 it's a horrible picture of me, 53 00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:47,665 and even if you could tell who it is, 54 00:01:47,767 --> 00:01:49,467 nobody knows who I am. 55 00:01:49,569 --> 00:01:51,135 Okay, now do the pros. 56 00:01:52,705 --> 00:01:56,945 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.MY-SUBS.com 57 00:01:57,944 --> 00:01:59,243 [Cellphone chimes] 58 00:01:59,345 --> 00:02:02,413 Ugh. People keep sending me pictures of these bus-bench ads. 59 00:02:02,515 --> 00:02:04,415 Some of them don't even have penises 60 00:02:04,517 --> 00:02:06,417 drawn on them, like this one. 61 00:02:06,519 --> 00:02:07,585 Oh, no. 62 00:02:07,687 --> 00:02:09,687 - There it is. - It's on my ear. 63 00:02:09,789 --> 00:02:10,788 - Looks mad. - Mm. 64 00:02:10,857 --> 00:02:12,656 Can you believe he did this? 65 00:02:12,725 --> 00:02:14,658 I mean, I'm the boss... this is a big deal. 66 00:02:14,761 --> 00:02:16,660 If I wanted my face plastered all over the place, 67 00:02:16,763 --> 00:02:18,095 it should be my decision. 68 00:02:18,197 --> 00:02:20,231 At least I would have chosen a more flattering picture. 69 00:02:20,299 --> 00:02:23,067 All these penises are highlighting my weak chin. 70 00:02:23,169 --> 00:02:24,568 Well, if you want things to be different, 71 00:02:24,670 --> 00:02:25,903 you just got to talk to him. 72 00:02:26,005 --> 00:02:27,371 Oh, I wish there was another option. 73 00:02:27,473 --> 00:02:29,874 - I'm not great at confronting Eddie. - Hmm. 74 00:02:29,976 --> 00:02:32,143 Well, I guess you could just not talk to him 75 00:02:32,245 --> 00:02:34,779 and hope that someday the dynamic magically changes. 76 00:02:34,881 --> 00:02:37,348 I like that one because it has no confrontation, 77 00:02:37,450 --> 00:02:38,849 and there's a magic element. 78 00:02:40,186 --> 00:02:41,552 Fine, I'll talk to him. 79 00:02:41,654 --> 00:02:44,155 Hey, Dad! Look what I found in the basement! 80 00:02:44,257 --> 00:02:45,923 Look at that! 81 00:02:46,025 --> 00:02:49,093 My old guitar... the "Beige Dragon". 82 00:02:49,195 --> 00:02:50,361 I'm gonna learn how to play it. 83 00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:53,197 But I got to warn you, learning to play is pretty hard. 84 00:02:53,299 --> 00:02:55,933 I spent many a year grinding on that ax, 85 00:02:56,035 --> 00:02:58,469 only to be left with some tear-stained frets 86 00:02:58,571 --> 00:03:01,105 and the first two chords of "Eye of the Tiger". 87 00:03:01,207 --> 00:03:04,408 All I heard was "Ben, I'm old". 88 00:03:04,510 --> 00:03:07,478 - I am, Ben. I am. - SORAYA: Hey, Dad. 89 00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:09,213 Ms. Conway said our field trip chaperones 90 00:03:09,315 --> 00:03:11,282 have to be there Wednesday morning at 8:00. 91 00:03:11,384 --> 00:03:12,750 Oh, chaperoning. 92 00:03:12,852 --> 00:03:14,585 I forgot about that field trip, babe. 93 00:03:14,654 --> 00:03:15,886 But it's the Butterfly Pavilion. 94 00:03:15,988 --> 00:03:17,688 You love the Butterfly Pavilion. 95 00:03:17,790 --> 00:03:19,456 More than you could ever know... 96 00:03:19,559 --> 00:03:22,359 with the beautiful blue morphos and the monarchs 97 00:03:22,461 --> 00:03:24,028 and that hummingbird who's probably not even 98 00:03:24,096 --> 00:03:25,930 supposed to be there. I wonder what his story is. 99 00:03:26,032 --> 00:03:28,132 But I can't babe, I'm so busy with work. 100 00:03:28,201 --> 00:03:30,467 Well, I guess they'll have to find another parent. 101 00:03:30,536 --> 00:03:32,069 What, excuse me? 102 00:03:32,171 --> 00:03:33,904 Is there anything you'd like to ask me? 103 00:03:34,006 --> 00:03:36,473 Yeah. What can't Dad come to my field trip? 104 00:03:36,576 --> 00:03:37,808 I'm a parent, too, you know. 105 00:03:37,910 --> 00:03:39,410 Yeah, but you never do field trips. 106 00:03:39,512 --> 00:03:40,644 You're always too busy working. 107 00:03:40,746 --> 00:03:41,946 Not "never". 108 00:03:42,048 --> 00:03:43,480 I took you to the aquarium. 109 00:03:43,583 --> 00:03:45,916 That was a lobster tank at a seafood restaurant. 110 00:03:46,018 --> 00:03:47,618 [Sighs] 111 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:50,020 Oh, my God, I'm a monster! 112 00:03:50,122 --> 00:03:53,924 No, but you did manage to eat the one lobster she named. 113 00:03:54,026 --> 00:03:55,025 Poor Clawsy. 114 00:03:55,127 --> 00:03:56,493 No. No, I'm serious. 115 00:03:56,596 --> 00:03:58,028 This is a wake-up call for me. 116 00:03:58,130 --> 00:03:59,430 I always thought we were a team 117 00:03:59,532 --> 00:04:01,265 and I got credit for you doing stuff, 118 00:04:01,367 --> 00:04:03,000 but I guess she saw right through that. 119 00:04:03,102 --> 00:04:04,335 I don't want my daughter to think 120 00:04:04,437 --> 00:04:06,270 I'm not involved in her life. 121 00:04:06,372 --> 00:04:07,872 You know what, I'm gonna call Ms. Hopkins 122 00:04:07,974 --> 00:04:09,206 and tell her I want to chaperone. 123 00:04:09,308 --> 00:04:10,641 Great, but call Ms. Conway, 124 00:04:10,743 --> 00:04:12,343 'cause Hopkins was last year. 125 00:04:13,112 --> 00:04:14,144 Shut up. 126 00:04:14,247 --> 00:04:15,779 Sweetie! 127 00:04:15,882 --> 00:04:17,147 Guess what. 128 00:04:17,250 --> 00:04:18,716 I'm going on your butterfly field trip. 129 00:04:18,784 --> 00:04:19,850 - Really?! - Yes. 130 00:04:19,952 --> 00:04:21,151 - Thanks, Mommy. - You got it, babe. 131 00:04:21,254 --> 00:04:22,620 I recommend the audio tour... 132 00:04:22,722 --> 00:04:24,521 it's narrated by Mickey Rourke. 133 00:04:24,624 --> 00:04:25,890 He's a fellow Butterfly-Boy. 134 00:04:27,260 --> 00:04:29,693 Well, I found a few places we could do a recording. 135 00:04:29,795 --> 00:04:31,028 The best rate is $100 an hour, 136 00:04:31,130 --> 00:04:32,863 but with that one you have to sign a rabies waiver... 137 00:04:32,965 --> 00:04:34,298 apparently, they're having a raccoon issue. 138 00:04:34,400 --> 00:04:35,666 EDDIE: Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa. 139 00:04:35,768 --> 00:04:37,835 Why are we renting space? 140 00:04:37,937 --> 00:04:39,069 We're already renting this space. 141 00:04:39,171 --> 00:04:40,971 I could just build us a booth right here. 142 00:04:41,073 --> 00:04:42,740 You know what, Ed, I appreciate the enthusiasm, 143 00:04:42,842 --> 00:04:44,642 but I don't think that's the way to go. 144 00:04:44,744 --> 00:04:46,744 For starters, there's no room for a booth here, 145 00:04:46,812 --> 00:04:48,245 and we'd have to get, like, a million people 146 00:04:48,347 --> 00:04:49,313 to sign off on it. 147 00:04:49,415 --> 00:04:50,514 I'm just not sure it's worth the hassle. 148 00:04:50,616 --> 00:04:52,316 I know you're not sure. You're never sure. 149 00:04:52,418 --> 00:04:53,550 That's why you got me. 150 00:04:53,653 --> 00:04:54,852 You weren't sure it was a good idea 151 00:04:54,954 --> 00:04:56,053 to shave your head that summer, 152 00:04:56,122 --> 00:04:57,521 so I did it while you were asleep. 153 00:04:57,623 --> 00:04:59,857 And if I'm not mistaken, that was the same summer 154 00:04:59,959 --> 00:05:01,058 you almost lost your virginity. 155 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:02,159 We're not building a booth. 156 00:05:02,261 --> 00:05:03,427 We're going with Deirdre's thing. 157 00:05:03,529 --> 00:05:04,728 Okay, but we should move quickly. 158 00:05:04,797 --> 00:05:07,364 If I've already had rabies, can I get it again? 159 00:05:07,466 --> 00:05:09,800 Oh, when we were kids, Eddie made me pet a possum. 160 00:05:09,902 --> 00:05:12,303 He was so soft... 161 00:05:12,405 --> 00:05:14,338 - till he bit me. - Aww. 162 00:05:14,440 --> 00:05:16,540 Good times. 163 00:05:16,642 --> 00:05:19,710 [Guitar plays blues riff] 164 00:05:25,351 --> 00:05:27,684 Oh, my God. That was amazing! 165 00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:29,420 Yesterday, you hadn't even touched a guitar. 166 00:05:29,488 --> 00:05:31,221 - How the hell did you learn to... - YouTube. 167 00:05:31,257 --> 00:05:33,123 I watched a couple of instructional videos... 168 00:05:33,159 --> 00:05:35,793 pretty simple. I can also make slime blindfolded 169 00:05:35,861 --> 00:05:37,661 - and clean a musket. - Wow! 170 00:05:37,730 --> 00:05:39,530 See, if I had had the Internet when I was learning, 171 00:05:39,598 --> 00:05:40,798 it would have been a whole different story. 172 00:05:40,866 --> 00:05:43,167 That doesn't feel true, does it, Dad? 173 00:05:43,269 --> 00:05:44,501 No. 174 00:05:44,603 --> 00:05:45,869 No, it doesn't. 175 00:05:45,938 --> 00:05:47,571 So, Dad, I was thinking 176 00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:49,940 you're gonna need a music guy to score your podcast, 177 00:05:50,009 --> 00:05:52,009 I would like to throw my hat into the ring. 178 00:05:52,111 --> 00:05:54,912 Oh, Ben, composing for a podcast 179 00:05:54,981 --> 00:05:57,214 - is actually quite complicated. - Is it? 180 00:05:57,316 --> 00:05:59,216 Don't you just need someone to underscore 181 00:05:59,285 --> 00:06:01,051 the emotion of whatever's happening? 182 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:04,321 - Well, kind of, but... - Don't you mean "exactly"? 183 00:06:04,390 --> 00:06:06,290 Well, i-it's just not really 184 00:06:06,392 --> 00:06:09,259 an appropriate job for a 12-year-old. 185 00:06:09,328 --> 00:06:13,263 [Somber tune plays] 186 00:06:13,366 --> 00:06:14,898 I see what you're doing. 187 00:06:15,001 --> 00:06:17,101 Hey, Al, so on these field trips, 188 00:06:17,136 --> 00:06:19,403 do the buses have outlets so I can charge my laptop? 189 00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:21,438 [Laughs] Oh, wife. 190 00:06:21,507 --> 00:06:24,908 Oh, sweet, adorable, naive wife. 191 00:06:25,011 --> 00:06:26,944 You're not gonna get any work done. 192 00:06:27,013 --> 00:06:30,080 They're gonna be coming at you from all sides, okay? 193 00:06:30,149 --> 00:06:32,182 Zoe S. gets carsick, 194 00:06:32,284 --> 00:06:34,451 so you're gonna have to remind her not to read. 195 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,620 Zoe F. is allergic to everything 196 00:06:36,689 --> 00:06:39,390 and yet is the most adventurous eater in the whole grade. 197 00:06:39,492 --> 00:06:42,793 - Noah B. needs his five minutes. - Five minutes? 198 00:06:42,862 --> 00:06:44,361 He's a budding stand-up comedian. 199 00:06:44,463 --> 00:06:45,729 Okay, listen. 200 00:06:45,765 --> 00:06:47,164 I'm gonna be fine. 201 00:06:47,233 --> 00:06:49,233 - I got this. - I want to be supportive. 202 00:06:49,335 --> 00:06:50,734 I really do, but I'm not gonna lie... 203 00:06:50,803 --> 00:06:52,302 I'm kind of scared for you. 204 00:06:52,371 --> 00:06:55,672 [Aggressive tune plays] 205 00:06:55,775 --> 00:06:57,107 This is not a job interview. 206 00:06:57,209 --> 00:06:58,409 Get out of here. Skedaddle. 207 00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:01,445 Such a show-off. He's a show-off. 208 00:07:04,517 --> 00:07:05,749 You're here early. 209 00:07:05,851 --> 00:07:08,352 Yeah, well, I got to show you something. 210 00:07:08,421 --> 00:07:10,988 Got a big surprise for you. 211 00:07:11,090 --> 00:07:12,523 Ha ha! See? 212 00:07:12,591 --> 00:07:13,690 I knew you'd love it. 213 00:07:13,793 --> 00:07:15,125 Brand-new recording booth. 214 00:07:15,194 --> 00:07:16,794 I told you not to do this. 215 00:07:16,862 --> 00:07:18,462 But this solves all our problems. 216 00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:20,097 - I want you to take it down. - What?! 217 00:07:20,199 --> 00:07:22,332 - Oh, my God! - ALEX: I know, right? 218 00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:23,467 This booth is incredible. 219 00:07:23,569 --> 00:07:26,003 Alex, this might be your best idea yet. 220 00:07:26,105 --> 00:07:27,171 Today is the day that Alex Schuman 221 00:07:27,273 --> 00:07:28,539 became President of this company. 222 00:07:28,607 --> 00:07:30,340 Do you hear that? Deirdre loves the booth. 223 00:07:30,376 --> 00:07:31,742 It's not that great. Come on. 224 00:07:31,811 --> 00:07:32,876 Oh, you are being too modest. 225 00:07:32,945 --> 00:07:34,445 A two-person recording booth, right here? 226 00:07:34,547 --> 00:07:36,680 - I mean, it's genius. - It only cost 1,100 bucks. 227 00:07:36,749 --> 00:07:38,782 - What?! That's... - An incredible price. 228 00:07:38,851 --> 00:07:40,651 Okay, stop saying nice things about the booth. 229 00:07:40,686 --> 00:07:41,919 Eddie did it without permission. 230 00:07:42,021 --> 00:07:43,253 Because there's no downside. 231 00:07:43,355 --> 00:07:45,189 - What the hell is this? - He did it. 232 00:07:45,291 --> 00:07:46,790 There was no permission and it was all his fault. 233 00:07:46,892 --> 00:07:47,958 And I'm mad, too. 234 00:07:48,060 --> 00:07:49,693 Okay, this is a communal space. 235 00:07:49,795 --> 00:07:50,961 If you want to use it, I'm gonna have to start 236 00:07:51,063 --> 00:07:53,430 - charging you... a lot. - Downside! 237 00:07:53,499 --> 00:07:54,832 Okay, Marion, let's talk about this. 238 00:07:54,900 --> 00:07:56,433 Sure. And what we can talk about 239 00:07:56,502 --> 00:07:59,203 is me charging you an extra... 240 00:07:59,305 --> 00:08:00,504 400 bucks a month? 241 00:08:00,606 --> 00:08:02,206 - Yeah, good talk. - That's it. Take it down. 242 00:08:02,308 --> 00:08:04,775 Alex, can I have a word? 243 00:08:04,844 --> 00:08:06,343 Okay, I know you're mad at Eddie, 244 00:08:06,479 --> 00:08:07,678 but I would just like to point out 245 00:08:07,746 --> 00:08:08,979 that I have done a lot of research 246 00:08:09,081 --> 00:08:10,514 on offsite recording spaces. 247 00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:11,882 And even with the rent increase, 248 00:08:11,984 --> 00:08:13,350 this would still be a way better deal 249 00:08:13,452 --> 00:08:14,451 than anything else out there. 250 00:08:14,553 --> 00:08:15,819 Deirdre, I can't cave on this. 251 00:08:15,888 --> 00:08:17,688 I-It's the principle of the thing. 252 00:08:17,756 --> 00:08:19,256 You are letting your pride get in the way. 253 00:08:19,358 --> 00:08:20,858 It's amazing! 254 00:08:20,960 --> 00:08:23,694 Okay, fine, but I'm still mad. 255 00:08:23,796 --> 00:08:27,030 Eddie, Marion, we'll pay for it. 256 00:08:27,099 --> 00:08:30,267 Well, that was easy. Should've asked for $700. 257 00:08:30,369 --> 00:08:32,369 Always ask for $700, you know that. 258 00:08:32,471 --> 00:08:34,171 Eddie, from here on out, 259 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:36,707 do not make any decisions without running it by me first. 260 00:08:36,809 --> 00:08:39,276 - Are we clear? - Okay, cuz, whatever you say. 261 00:08:39,378 --> 00:08:41,145 He's very cute when he's upset, isn't he? 262 00:08:41,247 --> 00:08:43,180 My ma used to call him the "Little Volcano". 263 00:08:43,249 --> 00:08:45,716 And stop telling stories about when I was little! 264 00:08:45,751 --> 00:08:48,633 And that right there is what she'd call a major eruption. 265 00:08:51,110 --> 00:08:53,414 [Kids shouting] 266 00:08:53,469 --> 00:08:54,912 How many bodies? 267 00:08:54,981 --> 00:08:56,447 Just eyeball it, Lydia. 268 00:08:56,515 --> 00:08:58,604 Well, was there DNA on the scene? 269 00:08:58,675 --> 00:09:00,375 Dad never works on the bus. 270 00:09:00,443 --> 00:09:02,744 Well, no one knows if Dad's job is real, sweetie. 271 00:09:02,812 --> 00:09:05,146 Oh, Zoe F.! I don't know where you got those Nutter-Butters, 272 00:09:05,248 --> 00:09:07,215 but maybe wait until we're near an epi-pen 273 00:09:07,317 --> 00:09:08,716 before you eat them. 274 00:09:08,785 --> 00:09:10,318 No, I haven't seen the "Saw" films. 275 00:09:10,387 --> 00:09:12,287 Are there other movies you can compare it to? 276 00:09:12,322 --> 00:09:14,822 Hi, Zoe S. 277 00:09:14,891 --> 00:09:16,958 Why you holding a book? 278 00:09:17,060 --> 00:09:19,093 Zoe S.? No, no, no, no. 279 00:09:19,162 --> 00:09:20,128 CHILD: Ohh! 280 00:09:20,230 --> 00:09:21,930 Ooh, clean up on aisle 10. 281 00:09:22,032 --> 00:09:23,665 WOMAN: Turn around, Noah B. 282 00:09:23,733 --> 00:09:25,600 I'm gonna have to call you back. 283 00:09:25,669 --> 00:09:27,869 All day long, it was like that booth was staring at me, 284 00:09:27,938 --> 00:09:29,570 saying, "So I guess you're gonna keep letting Eddie 285 00:09:29,673 --> 00:09:31,105 walk all over you, huh?" 286 00:09:31,141 --> 00:09:33,007 Well, watch this, you stupid booth. 287 00:09:33,076 --> 00:09:35,410 Al! Just got off the phone with a lady who'll give us 288 00:09:35,512 --> 00:09:37,645 faster Internet for the same price. 289 00:09:37,714 --> 00:09:39,781 Thank you for bringing that to my attention, Ed. 290 00:09:39,816 --> 00:09:41,749 - I'll consider it. - You need to consider 291 00:09:41,818 --> 00:09:42,984 whether you want faster Internet? 292 00:09:43,086 --> 00:09:44,719 I don't like it when it goes too fast. 293 00:09:44,788 --> 00:09:45,853 But when you upload your podcasts, 294 00:09:45,956 --> 00:09:47,422 it takes a really long time. 295 00:09:47,457 --> 00:09:49,324 Yes, which builds up anticipation. 296 00:09:49,392 --> 00:09:50,825 Thank you. 297 00:09:50,927 --> 00:09:52,927 Oh, no, quickly, shut the door. 298 00:09:52,996 --> 00:09:55,029 A monarch is headed for an escape. 299 00:09:57,167 --> 00:09:58,866 Saved ya, buddy! 300 00:09:58,935 --> 00:10:00,468 Remember, kids, 301 00:10:00,537 --> 00:10:03,338 each one of these butterflies is incredibly precious. 302 00:10:03,406 --> 00:10:05,039 So, be careful of your surroundings 303 00:10:05,141 --> 00:10:06,441 while you're in the pavilion. 304 00:10:06,509 --> 00:10:09,143 And be on the lookout for the blue morpho... 305 00:10:09,245 --> 00:10:11,537 - the rarest butterfly here. - [Kids gasping] 306 00:10:11,591 --> 00:10:15,116 We only have one, and it's almost impossible to find him. 307 00:10:15,218 --> 00:10:16,884 Mom! 308 00:10:16,987 --> 00:10:18,152 Sorry, sweetie. 309 00:10:18,254 --> 00:10:20,722 Now, if everyone can get super quiet, 310 00:10:20,790 --> 00:10:23,725 you can almost hear the fluttering of their wings. 311 00:10:24,828 --> 00:10:26,461 [Cellphone rings] 312 00:10:26,529 --> 00:10:28,529 - So sorry... - [Ringing continues] 313 00:10:28,631 --> 00:10:30,498 Ah, yeah, I have to, um... 314 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:32,400 you know what, I do think I hear some fluttering 315 00:10:32,502 --> 00:10:33,534 over in that direction. 316 00:10:33,636 --> 00:10:34,969 What's up? 317 00:10:35,005 --> 00:10:36,604 WOMAN: Okay, kids, if you could look over here... 318 00:10:36,706 --> 00:10:38,172 Why? I didn't say that. 319 00:10:38,241 --> 00:10:39,607 - I never said that. - [Crunching] 320 00:10:39,709 --> 00:10:41,542 - [Children gasp] - What? 321 00:10:43,646 --> 00:10:46,014 Soraya's mom killed the blue morpho! 322 00:10:46,082 --> 00:10:47,849 SORAYA: Mom! 323 00:10:48,985 --> 00:10:50,351 Found it. 324 00:10:53,656 --> 00:10:55,523 Part of me knew I was acting like a child, 325 00:10:55,592 --> 00:10:56,758 but in my head, it was Eddie's fault 326 00:10:56,860 --> 00:10:58,893 for treating me like one. 327 00:10:58,962 --> 00:11:00,962 - Ugh. - And now I couldn't stop. 328 00:11:01,031 --> 00:11:02,530 Oh, God. What's that smell? 329 00:11:02,565 --> 00:11:04,432 Some of this food has been sitting here forever. 330 00:11:04,501 --> 00:11:06,768 - I'm getting rid of it. - Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Eddie. 331 00:11:06,836 --> 00:11:08,703 I should probably be the one to decide that. 332 00:11:08,772 --> 00:11:10,705 Decide whether to throw out rotten food? 333 00:11:10,740 --> 00:11:13,007 Absolutely. Please put that guy back in there. 334 00:11:13,076 --> 00:11:14,275 - Thank you. - Come on, Al. 335 00:11:14,344 --> 00:11:15,576 - This is ridiculous. - Is it? 336 00:11:15,678 --> 00:11:16,878 What if somebody at our company 337 00:11:16,980 --> 00:11:18,246 was planning on eating that sandwich? 338 00:11:18,348 --> 00:11:19,447 Like who? 339 00:11:20,850 --> 00:11:22,216 Me. 340 00:11:22,285 --> 00:11:24,719 I've had my eye on that guy for a few weeks now. 341 00:11:24,821 --> 00:11:27,622 It's rotten. It smells like an old shoe. 342 00:11:27,690 --> 00:11:30,458 Well, Eddie, some things are better aged... 343 00:11:30,527 --> 00:11:33,861 wine, cheese, Clooney. 344 00:11:33,930 --> 00:11:35,897 Mmm, old Clooney. 345 00:11:35,999 --> 00:11:39,100 Well, it's almost lunchtime. 346 00:11:39,169 --> 00:11:40,835 Why don't you eat it now? 347 00:11:45,608 --> 00:11:47,475 I will. 348 00:11:47,577 --> 00:11:49,077 Thank you for bringing it to me. 349 00:11:49,145 --> 00:11:50,778 Enjoy. 350 00:11:50,847 --> 00:11:52,680 I plan to. 351 00:11:54,250 --> 00:11:56,250 Alex... 352 00:11:56,352 --> 00:11:58,319 Hoo! 353 00:11:58,421 --> 00:12:05,493 ♪ 354 00:12:05,595 --> 00:12:06,561 [Whimpers] 355 00:12:06,629 --> 00:12:08,062 Glad I didn't throw it out. 356 00:12:08,164 --> 00:12:10,031 Me, too. 357 00:12:10,133 --> 00:12:11,365 All right, you know what, that's it. 358 00:12:11,468 --> 00:12:13,000 - Can I speak to you in private? - Mm-hmm. 359 00:12:13,069 --> 00:12:14,469 I'm gonna save this for later. 360 00:12:14,571 --> 00:12:16,704 Thank you. 361 00:12:16,806 --> 00:12:19,407 Okay, I think I've figured out what's going on here. 362 00:12:19,476 --> 00:12:21,976 You're angry you didn't have the idea for this booth. 363 00:12:22,078 --> 00:12:24,245 So how about we tell everyone it was your idea? 364 00:12:24,347 --> 00:12:25,580 - Good? - No, not good. 365 00:12:25,648 --> 00:12:26,948 You're missing the point entirely. 366 00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:29,317 This booth is a monument to the fact 367 00:12:29,385 --> 00:12:31,119 that you think you always know what's best for me. 368 00:12:31,221 --> 00:12:33,054 - Well, oftentimes I do. - No! 369 00:12:33,123 --> 00:12:34,322 No, you don't, okay? 370 00:12:34,390 --> 00:12:37,425 I am not little baby cousin Alex anymore 371 00:12:37,527 --> 00:12:39,227 who you can just push around. 372 00:12:39,295 --> 00:12:40,862 I am the boss of this company, 373 00:12:40,930 --> 00:12:42,530 and you need to start understanding that. 374 00:12:42,632 --> 00:12:44,665 Ooh, boy, eruption coming. 375 00:12:44,734 --> 00:12:46,767 See! Don't do that! I hate it when you do that! 376 00:12:46,870 --> 00:12:47,802 - Stop it. - Or what? 377 00:12:47,871 --> 00:12:49,337 You don't even want to know what. 378 00:12:49,405 --> 00:12:50,538 Will it be lava-related? 379 00:12:50,607 --> 00:12:52,006 It might be something like this. 380 00:12:52,108 --> 00:12:53,674 Oh! Did you just push me? 381 00:12:53,776 --> 00:12:56,144 Yeah, yeah. And I might again. 382 00:12:56,246 --> 00:12:58,146 Oh! 383 00:12:58,281 --> 00:12:59,180 [Grunting] 384 00:12:59,282 --> 00:13:01,048 Tried of you al... You are such a... 385 00:13:01,151 --> 00:13:02,717 This is what you used to do when we were kids. 386 00:13:02,819 --> 00:13:04,118 And I hated it! 387 00:13:05,188 --> 00:13:07,054 Oh, I swear to God... 388 00:13:07,157 --> 00:13:08,990 - Here it comes. - Aah! 389 00:13:10,326 --> 00:13:11,492 Oh! 390 00:13:11,594 --> 00:13:13,828 [People gasp] 391 00:13:13,930 --> 00:13:15,429 God! 392 00:13:15,532 --> 00:13:17,999 I never should have hired you in the first place! 393 00:13:22,071 --> 00:13:24,772 You seem upset. Meet Duke. 394 00:13:24,874 --> 00:13:28,843 ♪ 395 00:13:30,156 --> 00:13:33,515 - You got into an actual fight with Eddie? - You told me to! 396 00:13:33,571 --> 00:13:35,104 I told you to talk to him. 397 00:13:35,164 --> 00:13:36,329 I didn't say anything about 398 00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:38,031 crashing through a wall of glass. 399 00:13:38,099 --> 00:13:40,333 - You're a grown-up. - He built a whole sound booth 400 00:13:40,402 --> 00:13:42,268 without my permission. Whose side are you on? 401 00:13:42,337 --> 00:13:43,536 Yours, honey. 402 00:13:43,605 --> 00:13:45,405 But there is a reason you hired Eddie. 403 00:13:45,473 --> 00:13:48,107 He pushes you, and that's a good thing. 404 00:13:48,143 --> 00:13:49,709 Look, I know you're hurting. 405 00:13:49,778 --> 00:13:51,477 Yeah, particularly where the glass shards 406 00:13:51,579 --> 00:13:53,713 - are still embedded. - But if Eddie didn't do 407 00:13:53,782 --> 00:13:54,947 what Eddie always does, 408 00:13:55,016 --> 00:13:57,750 you would be a totally different guy. 409 00:13:57,786 --> 00:14:01,154 He's a pain in the ass, I know, but he's good for you. 410 00:14:01,222 --> 00:14:05,124 You're so smart... always know what to say. 411 00:14:05,193 --> 00:14:07,794 No! No, I really don't. [Sighs] 412 00:14:07,862 --> 00:14:10,563 After I assassinated that blue morpho today, 413 00:14:10,632 --> 00:14:12,865 Soraya wouldn't even sit with me on the bus-ride home. 414 00:14:12,934 --> 00:14:14,367 In fact, none of them would. 415 00:14:14,436 --> 00:14:16,569 They kept calling me "Madame Murder-Fly". 416 00:14:16,638 --> 00:14:18,738 That sounds like Noah B.'s handiwork. 417 00:14:18,807 --> 00:14:20,440 He roasted me for like 10 minutes straight. 418 00:14:20,508 --> 00:14:22,742 He's like a pre-pubescent Don Rickles. 419 00:14:22,811 --> 00:14:24,310 Why couldn't I just turn my phone off 420 00:14:24,379 --> 00:14:25,445 for a couple hours? 421 00:14:25,513 --> 00:14:27,780 Because your job is very important to you. 422 00:14:27,882 --> 00:14:30,249 And you love it. And you're a badass! 423 00:14:30,318 --> 00:14:32,552 Come on, you do murder trials 424 00:14:32,620 --> 00:14:34,420 and defend innocent people. 425 00:14:34,522 --> 00:14:36,122 I promise you, babe... 426 00:14:36,191 --> 00:14:38,191 I promise you, one day, Soraya will realize 427 00:14:38,259 --> 00:14:40,393 how awesome and cool you are. 428 00:14:40,495 --> 00:14:41,928 Thank you. 429 00:14:41,996 --> 00:14:43,663 I guess I just wish there was something I could do 430 00:14:43,731 --> 00:14:46,566 to make her realize it now. 431 00:14:46,634 --> 00:14:48,912 Hold on. 432 00:14:48,992 --> 00:14:50,069 Maybe there is. 433 00:14:50,138 --> 00:14:53,206 [Up-tempo music plays] 434 00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:55,341 What? I thought I'd kick it up a notch. 435 00:14:55,443 --> 00:14:57,977 Okay, can you go do your homework, please? 436 00:14:58,079 --> 00:14:59,946 - He's really good. - He's fine. 437 00:14:59,981 --> 00:15:01,781 Wait till he tries "Eye of the Tiger". 438 00:15:03,585 --> 00:15:06,085 Okay, people, now we have a special visitor. 439 00:15:07,655 --> 00:15:08,855 [Children gasp] 440 00:15:08,957 --> 00:15:12,024 - It's her! - The Butterfly Slayer! 441 00:15:12,127 --> 00:15:13,326 Mom, what are you doing here? 442 00:15:13,428 --> 00:15:15,194 Well, I just wanted to tell everyone 443 00:15:15,263 --> 00:15:17,430 how sorry I am about what happened yesterday. 444 00:15:17,499 --> 00:15:19,265 It was actually my first field trip, 445 00:15:19,334 --> 00:15:22,034 and I didn't know the ropes because I spend most of my time 446 00:15:22,137 --> 00:15:23,970 at a place where there are no butterflies. 447 00:15:24,038 --> 00:15:25,905 How many were there when you started? 448 00:15:25,930 --> 00:15:26,783 [Laughter] 449 00:15:26,815 --> 00:15:28,982 - Noah, sit down. - Okay. 450 00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:31,277 Well, I actually spend most of my time in a courtroom 451 00:15:31,346 --> 00:15:32,778 because I'm a lawyer. 452 00:15:32,847 --> 00:15:34,573 Now, does anyone know what a lawyer does? 453 00:15:35,884 --> 00:15:38,184 Okay, well, a lawyer defends people 454 00:15:38,219 --> 00:15:40,386 who are accused of doing bad things. 455 00:15:40,455 --> 00:15:41,687 Like stepping on a butterfly? 456 00:15:41,756 --> 00:15:43,289 Exactly, Zoe S.! 457 00:15:43,391 --> 00:15:46,325 - So, I talked to Ms. Hopkins... - Conway. 458 00:15:46,427 --> 00:15:48,461 Conway, and she said 459 00:15:48,530 --> 00:15:49,962 that you can spend the rest of the day 460 00:15:50,064 --> 00:15:51,531 doing your multiplication tables, 461 00:15:51,633 --> 00:15:53,733 or I can stick around 462 00:15:53,801 --> 00:15:55,902 and you can put me on trial for murder. 463 00:15:56,004 --> 00:15:57,503 - Who's up for that? - Me! 464 00:15:57,605 --> 00:15:58,671 Me! 465 00:15:58,740 --> 00:16:00,039 Let's do the murder! 466 00:16:00,141 --> 00:16:01,741 Murder! Murder! 467 00:16:01,809 --> 00:16:05,878 [All chanting "Murder!"] 468 00:16:05,980 --> 00:16:08,948 ♪ 469 00:16:09,017 --> 00:16:10,683 Eddie's still not here? 470 00:16:10,785 --> 00:16:12,018 I don't think he's coming in at all. 471 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:13,419 Why? Did he call you? 472 00:16:13,521 --> 00:16:14,987 What did he say about me? Never mind. I don't even care. 473 00:16:15,056 --> 00:16:16,489 Well, since you clearly don't care, 474 00:16:16,558 --> 00:16:18,024 there's something that I think you should hear. 475 00:16:18,126 --> 00:16:19,392 Ben's demo? I know. 476 00:16:19,460 --> 00:16:20,526 He sent it to me, too. 477 00:16:20,628 --> 00:16:23,062 I'm torn bause he's really amazing, 478 00:16:23,164 --> 00:16:25,998 but the rate he quoted me was just obnoxious. 479 00:16:26,100 --> 00:16:27,099 Not that. 480 00:16:29,704 --> 00:16:30,736 [Beep] 481 00:16:30,838 --> 00:16:32,605 EDDIE: Testing, testing. One, two, three. 482 00:16:32,674 --> 00:16:35,241 Okay, so, it's 6:00 in the morning. 483 00:16:35,276 --> 00:16:38,277 This is the inaugural recording of our new booth. 484 00:16:38,346 --> 00:16:40,146 Me and some guys... don't worry about it... 485 00:16:40,248 --> 00:16:42,081 we've been working all night, 486 00:16:42,116 --> 00:16:44,450 and I cannot wait for Alex to see this thing. 487 00:16:44,519 --> 00:16:48,254 I finally did something I know he's gonna be proud of. 488 00:16:48,323 --> 00:16:50,556 [Beep] 489 00:16:50,625 --> 00:16:51,958 Then it's just, like, seven minutes of him 490 00:16:52,060 --> 00:16:53,960 trying to turn off the recorder. 491 00:16:54,028 --> 00:16:55,394 Eventually, he just unplugs it. 492 00:16:55,496 --> 00:16:59,498 ♪ 493 00:16:59,601 --> 00:17:01,701 - Hey, Aunt Louise. - Hey, Alex! 494 00:17:01,769 --> 00:17:03,569 What are you doing here? Come on in! 495 00:17:03,638 --> 00:17:04,837 - Hi. - Oh, wow. 496 00:17:04,906 --> 00:17:06,272 Is... Is Eddie here? 497 00:17:06,374 --> 00:17:07,940 I can't find him. I tried to get him on the phone. 498 00:17:08,009 --> 00:17:09,942 - He's not at his house. - Oh, yeah, I heard. 499 00:17:09,978 --> 00:17:12,612 - You had one of your eruptions. - Well, we don't have label it. 500 00:17:12,714 --> 00:17:14,347 All right, just a minute. 501 00:17:18,519 --> 00:17:19,619 Alex wants to see you. 502 00:17:19,687 --> 00:17:20,820 Tell him I'm not here. 503 00:17:20,855 --> 00:17:22,255 He knows you're here! 504 00:17:22,323 --> 00:17:23,656 Your car's in the driveway. 505 00:17:23,725 --> 00:17:25,324 Well, did he see it? Take my keys, 506 00:17:25,393 --> 00:17:27,593 - move it around back. - I'm not supposed to drive! 507 00:17:27,695 --> 00:17:28,861 It's like 40 feet. 508 00:17:28,930 --> 00:17:30,329 Go talk to him! 509 00:17:30,398 --> 00:17:32,431 I swear to God, Ma. 510 00:17:32,533 --> 00:17:34,867 Oh, no one told me you were here. 511 00:17:34,969 --> 00:17:36,369 Why didn't you come to work, Ed? 512 00:17:36,471 --> 00:17:37,570 Well, when the boss tells you 513 00:17:37,672 --> 00:17:38,938 he wishes he never hired you... 514 00:17:38,973 --> 00:17:40,339 I'm sorry I said that, okay? 515 00:17:40,441 --> 00:17:42,041 And I'm sorry I broke your booth. 516 00:17:42,110 --> 00:17:43,809 Well, I'm sorry I made it without asking, 517 00:17:43,878 --> 00:17:45,945 but I was really just trying to help. 518 00:17:46,047 --> 00:17:47,346 It just felt like you were treating me 519 00:17:47,448 --> 00:17:48,547 like when we were kids. 520 00:17:48,583 --> 00:17:50,816 You were always pushing me around and bullying me. 521 00:17:50,885 --> 00:17:52,151 I did no such thing. 522 00:17:52,220 --> 00:17:54,020 You once replaced my lip gloss with crazy glue 523 00:17:54,122 --> 00:17:56,088 when I was supposed to sing the "Star-Spangled Banner". 524 00:17:56,124 --> 00:17:58,658 - I had to hum it. - You still hit that high note. 525 00:17:58,726 --> 00:17:59,892 Yeah, I did. 526 00:17:59,961 --> 00:18:02,795 Truth is, I was always a little jealous of you, Al, 527 00:18:02,864 --> 00:18:04,697 so I did some dumb stuff. 528 00:18:04,766 --> 00:18:06,165 - Jealous? - Of course. 529 00:18:06,234 --> 00:18:08,334 You were the smart one... the one with the big ideas. 530 00:18:08,403 --> 00:18:10,403 You were going places. I always knew that. 531 00:18:10,505 --> 00:18:12,672 And look at you now. I was right. 532 00:18:12,740 --> 00:18:14,073 So when you asked me to come work for you, 533 00:18:14,175 --> 00:18:15,675 I couldn't even believe it. 534 00:18:15,710 --> 00:18:17,877 - Really? - I guess I've been trying to prove 535 00:18:17,945 --> 00:18:20,279 you made a good choice ever since. 536 00:18:20,381 --> 00:18:22,715 Maybe I try a little too hard sometimes. 537 00:18:22,784 --> 00:18:25,051 Bus-bench ads might have been a bridge too far. 538 00:18:25,119 --> 00:18:26,619 It wasn't a great photo. I see that now. 539 00:18:26,688 --> 00:18:28,387 Why was I wearing a construction hat? 540 00:18:28,489 --> 00:18:30,222 Anyway, from now on, 541 00:18:30,325 --> 00:18:32,591 I'll stop making you do things you don't want to do. 542 00:18:32,660 --> 00:18:34,260 Well, don't stop completely. 543 00:18:34,295 --> 00:18:37,096 'Cause the truth is, sometimes I need a little push. 544 00:18:37,198 --> 00:18:39,098 Give me a hug, come on. 545 00:18:39,200 --> 00:18:42,134 All right. 546 00:18:42,236 --> 00:18:44,370 LOUISE: Are you hugging? That sounds like a hug! 547 00:18:44,472 --> 00:18:46,505 - Ma, give us some space! - All right! 548 00:18:46,574 --> 00:18:47,707 We're hugging. 549 00:18:47,809 --> 00:18:49,241 We're hugging. 550 00:18:49,344 --> 00:18:51,177 ALEX: It turned out Rooni was right. 551 00:18:51,245 --> 00:18:54,413 I needed Eddie for lots of reasons. 552 00:18:54,482 --> 00:18:56,582 For starters, he helped me put the booth back together. 553 00:18:56,684 --> 00:18:59,185 ♪ 554 00:18:59,287 --> 00:19:00,886 And he even figured out a way to get Marion 555 00:19:00,955 --> 00:19:02,288 to waive his rent increase. 556 00:19:02,390 --> 00:19:06,892 [Vocalizing] 557 00:19:06,961 --> 00:19:09,061 I have known this woman for eight years. 558 00:19:09,163 --> 00:19:11,797 You guys have probably only known her for one day. 559 00:19:11,866 --> 00:19:14,300 I guess not matter how well you know someone, 560 00:19:14,369 --> 00:19:16,068 there's still a lot to learn about them. 561 00:19:16,170 --> 00:19:18,904 ♪ 562 00:19:18,973 --> 00:19:20,306 And with a little effort, 563 00:19:20,375 --> 00:19:22,541 it's possible to see them in a brand-new light. 564 00:19:22,643 --> 00:19:25,845 [Laughter] 565 00:19:25,947 --> 00:19:27,279 And in the end, the people you love 566 00:19:27,382 --> 00:19:28,981 may make your life difficult, 567 00:19:29,016 --> 00:19:32,184 they may "accidently" give you rabies, 568 00:19:32,286 --> 00:19:35,187 but they will always have your back. 569 00:19:35,289 --> 00:19:39,291 ♪ 570 00:19:39,394 --> 00:19:41,193 Damn, buddy. That is so amazing. 571 00:19:41,295 --> 00:19:42,862 Are you sure you won't budge on your fee? 572 00:19:42,964 --> 00:19:44,697 Sorry, Dad. My hands are tied. 573 00:19:44,799 --> 00:19:47,400 Well, I gave it a try. 574 00:19:47,468 --> 00:19:48,601 Thanks anyway. 575 00:19:48,703 --> 00:19:50,436 Fine! I'll do it! 576 00:19:50,538 --> 00:19:52,805 Man, you drive a hard bargain. 577 00:19:52,907 --> 00:19:54,440 Where'd you learn to negotiate like that? 578 00:19:54,542 --> 00:19:58,144 A little site called YouTube. 579 00:19:58,212 --> 00:19:59,311 Damn it! 580 00:20:00,413 --> 00:20:04,155 And so, you must find that my mom is innocent 581 00:20:04,218 --> 00:20:07,920 because she killed the butterfly by accident. 582 00:20:09,057 --> 00:20:11,257 [Whispering] You did so good. 583 00:20:11,359 --> 00:20:12,691 Oh, now ask if they've reached a verdict. 584 00:20:12,794 --> 00:20:14,827 Everybody who thinks she's guilty, 585 00:20:14,929 --> 00:20:16,495 raise your hand. 586 00:20:16,531 --> 00:20:18,998 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine... 587 00:20:19,100 --> 00:20:21,500 I can't even count that high. Guilty! 588 00:20:21,602 --> 00:20:22,992 Don't worry. They're biased. 589 00:20:23,039 --> 00:20:24,890 We just had a unit on butterflies. 590 00:20:24,958 --> 00:20:27,984 Next on the docket... Smelt It v. Dealt It. 591 00:20:28,078 --> 00:20:30,028 Let's do this.