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Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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I've been doing
this Dad thing for a while now
2
00:00:02,984 --> 00:00:04,383
and pretty much killing it.
3
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That's because I know
the three rules of parenting.
4
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Rule one... Comfort your
children when they are hurt.
5
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Aah! Not me. Mama.
6
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Oh, sweetie. Okay.
7
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Rule two... Protect them
8
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from scary things in the world,
like the boogeyman.
9
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Diane.
10
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And rule three... Make sure
your kids are provided for
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now and in the future.
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Thanks for trusting me, Dad.
13
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I don't.
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That's why I labeled them.
15
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Ooh. Those...
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Don't touch 'em!
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And my mom feels the same responsibility
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for me and my sister, Rhonda.
19
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All right. What's going on?
20
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Hey.
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All right, the last time
you baked this cake
22
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is when you told us to hide
the gun you shot Pops with.
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I said it was the gun I shot Pac with.
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And thank you, babies.
25
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Now, listen.
26
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I was at Sandy Jenkins' funeral,
27
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and I realized I have
to tell you two things.
28
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When I die, I want my ashes
sprinkled on Ving Rhames.
29
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And two... we need to talk about
30
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who's gonna get my rental property.
31
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When you die? M-Mama, are you sick?
32
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Do I look sick?
33
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I had two pregnancy scares last month.
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Then why the hell
are we talking about this?
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I don't want to think about you dying.
36
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And if God is good,
he's gonna take me before you.
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Ooh, Black Jesus, don't you dare!
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- Take me first! Don't let...
- No, Lord, take me!
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As an atheist, I swear you guys
are just yelling at a vent.
40
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Mama, I can't believe
you made us death cake.
41
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Oh, no, baby.
This is from Sandy's funeral.
42
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Not well attended.
43
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Now, at my repass, I want peach cobbler.
44
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And a small amount.
45
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I want people to fight for it.
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Okay, Mama, you know what?
47
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I'm done talking about this, all right?
48
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You're never gonna die.
49
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Ving Rhames?
50
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Well...
51
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it's a promise we made to each other.
52
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Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.MY-SUBS.com
53
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Oh! Oh, my God!
54
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Oh!
55
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Santamonica!
56
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- Oh.
- Santamonica!
57
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I didn't know you were in town.
58
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No, no, no, no.
59
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- I'm Santamaria now.
- Oh.
60
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I renamed myself after a saint
61
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because I found Jesus.
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Bow looks skeptical.
63
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That's because her sister
is always reinventing herself.
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The last time we saw her,
she was a reality TV star.
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Have a drink, you thirsty bitch!
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She's also been a vegan, a Goth,
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and, for some reason,
a Roller Derby girl.
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Wait. You found Jesus?
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- Was... Was he missing?
- Don't blaspheme.
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Nope. Sorry.
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Do you still drink wine?
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I'm born again, not dead. Yes, please.
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Okay. Do you want a glass?
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- Yes, please.
- Yeah? Okay. Wine it is!
75
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Okay. So, what are you doing here?
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I'm in town for
the L.A. Divinity Expo...
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- Interesting...
- and I'm... and I am gathering funds
78
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so that I can start my own megachurch.
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- Megachurch?
- Yeah.
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Okay.
81
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Why not just like a church?
82
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- Oh.
- Or like, I don't know, Bible study?
83
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I mean...
84
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Have you even read the Bible?
85
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- I downloaded it on Audible.
- Oh. Yeah.
86
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Okay, so... But did you listen?
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- Yeah. A little bit.
- Oh. Hey, look.
88
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Hey, Auntie-monica.
89
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Ooh. It's Auntie-maria now.
90
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I found Jesus.
91
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Oh, that's your...
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That's Devante.
93
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Cool, cool.
94
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Well, Mom, this little guy is hungry,
95
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so I think it's time to...
96
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Are you drinking wine?
97
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- Yep.
- It's not even 5:00.
98
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If you've been up since 4:00, it is.
99
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We're sleep-training Devante.
100
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Uh, we are.
101
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A more accurate name
102
00:03:43,227 --> 00:03:45,494
would probably be awake training.
103
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I'm telling you, Mom,
if you would just let Devante
104
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cry himself to sleep,
he'd be better rested.
105
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Let me cry it out, Mommy.
106
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I'm stronger than you think.
107
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W-What'd I tell you about the baby talk?
108
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It wubs you the wong way?
109
00:04:00,911 --> 00:04:03,111
- It does.
- Junior...
110
00:04:03,214 --> 00:04:04,947
you're very talented.
111
00:04:05,049 --> 00:04:08,483
God has a plan for you, and it
is bigger than all of this.
112
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I've always felt that.
113
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:11,987
You need to be where you're appreciated.
114
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I need a new assistant.
115
00:04:13,591 --> 00:04:16,358
Somebody who can help me
navigate the religious waters.
116
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I'd love to work for you,
117
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but I've just got so much
to do around here.
118
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I still have to finish re-sorting
119
00:04:22,399 --> 00:04:24,967
- someone's frozen milk.
- What?
120
00:04:25,035 --> 00:04:26,235
The oldest goes in the front.
121
00:04:26,337 --> 00:04:27,936
I still don't know what you
don't get about that.
122
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Okay, come to Mommy, sweetheart.
123
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And you should go work for Auntie-maria.
124
00:04:33,177 --> 00:04:34,676
Right? And guess what.
125
00:04:34,778 --> 00:04:36,712
We'll be fine without you.
126
00:04:36,814 --> 00:04:39,514
That is not Devante's voice.
127
00:04:39,617 --> 00:04:40,716
I don't care.
128
00:04:43,153 --> 00:04:44,920
So, my mom talking about dying
129
00:04:45,022 --> 00:04:47,489
and divvying up her stuff had me upset.
130
00:04:47,591 --> 00:04:50,392
Well, I-I remember telling my
father that he was gonna die.
131
00:04:50,494 --> 00:04:52,895
He didn't believe me,
of course, but, uh...
132
00:04:52,997 --> 00:04:55,697
history is written by the one
who holds the plug.
133
00:04:57,635 --> 00:04:58,901
I miss him.
134
00:04:58,969 --> 00:05:01,236
You know, his will caused a huge rift
135
00:05:01,338 --> 00:05:02,571
between Papa and Uncle Henry.
136
00:05:02,673 --> 00:05:03,839
Yeah, it was worth it, though.
137
00:05:03,941 --> 00:05:05,140
I mean, brothers come and go,
138
00:05:05,242 --> 00:05:09,177
but a brownstone on the island
of Manhattan is forever.
139
00:05:09,280 --> 00:05:11,947
You know, I recently inherited
some family assets.
140
00:05:12,049 --> 00:05:14,416
Which is cool in theory,
but what am I supposed to do
141
00:05:14,518 --> 00:05:15,751
with a piece of Hawaii
142
00:05:15,819 --> 00:05:17,452
and Earth, Wind & Fire's
publishing rights?
143
00:05:17,554 --> 00:05:19,855
This is ridiculous.
144
00:05:19,957 --> 00:05:22,291
White people are constantly
inheriting stuff
145
00:05:22,359 --> 00:05:24,726
when black families usually
have nothing to pass down
146
00:05:24,795 --> 00:05:25,961
to each other but debt.
147
00:05:26,063 --> 00:05:27,629
I beg to differ, Dre.
148
00:05:27,698 --> 00:05:30,399
I inherited a Crown Royal bag
full of marbles,
149
00:05:30,467 --> 00:05:33,268
a wave cap, and a treasure map
150
00:05:33,337 --> 00:05:35,437
that may or may not be a children's menu
151
00:05:35,506 --> 00:05:37,339
from Ponderosa, but...
152
00:05:37,408 --> 00:05:39,942
I'm crewing up and, uh,
we'll find out soon.
153
00:05:40,010 --> 00:05:41,176
- I'm in.
- You see, Dre?
154
00:05:41,211 --> 00:05:42,611
Charlie inherited something.
155
00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:44,713
So your argument is totally useless.
156
00:05:44,782 --> 00:05:46,515
I'm assuming that a wave cap
157
00:05:46,583 --> 00:05:48,517
is some sort of luxury sailboat, right?
158
00:05:48,585 --> 00:05:51,086
You realize we're not running
the same race.
159
00:05:51,188 --> 00:05:53,121
The only money that we can rely on
160
00:05:53,190 --> 00:05:55,324
- is from life insurance.
- And lawsuits.
161
00:05:55,392 --> 00:05:57,492
I'm in the middle
of a potentially lucrative
162
00:05:57,561 --> 00:06:00,662
slip-and-fall suit against
the Studio City Panera Bread.
163
00:06:00,731 --> 00:06:02,664
Where's my cane at?
164
00:06:02,766 --> 00:06:04,032
Oh.
165
00:06:04,134 --> 00:06:05,667
I left it at the gym.
166
00:06:05,769 --> 00:06:08,203
I'll get it on my run home.
167
00:06:08,272 --> 00:06:11,206
Okay. All we can bet on
is that we die early.
168
00:06:11,308 --> 00:06:13,342
Well, you do have diabetes.
169
00:06:13,444 --> 00:06:15,310
Isn't that why you took a policy
out on him, Papa?
170
00:06:15,379 --> 00:06:17,479
You have a life-insurance policy on me?
171
00:06:17,514 --> 00:06:20,349
Oh, I have policies out
on many of my employees.
172
00:06:20,417 --> 00:06:21,516
I have one on you.
173
00:06:21,618 --> 00:06:22,651
- On Charlie, of course.
- Aww.
174
00:06:22,753 --> 00:06:24,586
On Jerome from the parking garage.
175
00:06:24,655 --> 00:06:25,887
God rest his soul.
176
00:06:25,990 --> 00:06:29,524
I used his payout to get my new Ferrari.
177
00:06:29,626 --> 00:06:31,727
It's a shame that he'll
never get to park it.
178
00:06:31,829 --> 00:06:33,228
Mm.
179
00:06:33,297 --> 00:06:34,463
All right, Junior.
180
00:06:34,531 --> 00:06:36,965
Did you get me into
Roma Downey's bowling night?
181
00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:38,700
I couldn't.
182
00:06:38,769 --> 00:06:41,870
But I did get you into
a VIP book burning.
183
00:06:41,939 --> 00:06:45,140
And I got you an extra-dry copy
of "Catcher in the Rye."
184
00:06:45,242 --> 00:06:48,010
That thing is gonna light up real nice.
185
00:06:48,112 --> 00:06:50,379
Uh, excuse me.
186
00:06:50,447 --> 00:06:54,649
I hear you're plotting to make
a little light-skinned church.
187
00:06:54,718 --> 00:06:58,053
Well, just don't forget Jeremiah 23:16.
188
00:06:58,155 --> 00:07:00,122
Ooh, is he having a party?
Is that his address?
189
00:07:00,224 --> 00:07:01,423
Heh heh heh heh.
190
00:07:01,525 --> 00:07:03,592
It's a verse from the good book.
191
00:07:03,660 --> 00:07:07,295
"Do not listen to what prophets
are prophesying to you;
192
00:07:07,398 --> 00:07:09,364
they fill you with false hopes."
193
00:07:09,466 --> 00:07:11,833
That is gonna be so good on a T-shirt.
194
00:07:11,935 --> 00:07:13,769
- Right?
- Oh, my God.
195
00:07:15,205 --> 00:07:16,571
T-shirts. On it.
196
00:07:16,673 --> 00:07:18,040
I'll get quotes from the printers.
197
00:07:18,108 --> 00:07:19,775
Pee now because we're leaving in 5.
198
00:07:19,877 --> 00:07:22,377
"Pee now."
199
00:07:22,446 --> 00:07:24,913
God, he's so micromanage-y, right?
200
00:07:25,015 --> 00:07:26,681
- Yes, and I love it.
- Oh.
201
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:27,816
He takes care of everything.
202
00:07:27,918 --> 00:07:30,185
Wait till he starts monitoring
your alcohol intake.
203
00:07:30,254 --> 00:07:32,387
- My car already does that.
- What?
204
00:07:32,423 --> 00:07:35,590
Thanks, judge who wouldn't
accept a bribe.
205
00:07:35,692 --> 00:07:38,026
The guys at work really got me thinking
206
00:07:38,095 --> 00:07:40,829
about how black families
deal with inheritance.
207
00:07:40,931 --> 00:07:43,165
So, you're a delivery person now?
208
00:07:43,267 --> 00:07:45,133
No, I'm a Lyft driver.
209
00:07:45,235 --> 00:07:46,468
And that's my lunch.
210
00:07:46,570 --> 00:07:48,637
And no, you can't eat in here.
211
00:07:48,705 --> 00:07:49,771
That's a rule?
212
00:07:49,873 --> 00:07:52,340
No. You just eat like Cookie Monster.
213
00:07:52,443 --> 00:07:54,209
I have an underbite.
214
00:07:54,311 --> 00:07:57,312
You know damn well Pops
gambled away my braces money.
215
00:07:57,414 --> 00:07:59,514
All right, look.
216
00:07:59,616 --> 00:08:03,051
I'm sorry I walked out on you
and Moms the other day.
217
00:08:03,153 --> 00:08:05,387
I just hate thinking about losing her.
218
00:08:06,790 --> 00:08:08,890
What we really need to talk about
219
00:08:08,959 --> 00:08:11,059
is what she's gonna do with the duplex.
220
00:08:11,128 --> 00:08:12,961
Well, that's easy.
She's leaving it to me.
221
00:08:13,063 --> 00:08:14,296
And then I'm gonna sell it.
222
00:08:14,398 --> 00:08:15,697
What?
223
00:08:15,799 --> 00:08:16,998
Both plexes?!
224
00:08:18,836 --> 00:08:20,268
What about me?!
225
00:08:21,939 --> 00:08:23,605
You get her hat collection.
226
00:08:23,707 --> 00:08:26,908
But I'm a 7 7/8 fitted kind of
guy, and she loves snapbacks.
227
00:08:27,010 --> 00:08:29,377
Th-This can't be right.
228
00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:30,879
I'm Mama's special baby.
229
00:08:30,981 --> 00:08:32,514
Dre, now, will you get out of my car?
230
00:08:32,583 --> 00:08:34,850
The Lakers game just ended,
and I got to hunt for strays.
231
00:08:34,952 --> 00:08:36,885
Fine.
232
00:08:36,987 --> 00:08:38,353
But you know what?
233
00:08:38,455 --> 00:08:39,988
If you're getting the duplex,
234
00:08:40,090 --> 00:08:42,190
- I'm taking these mints.
- Bye.
235
00:08:42,292 --> 00:08:44,426
- And this car charger.
- Okay.
236
00:08:44,528 --> 00:08:46,228
- And your garage-door opener.
- No, I need that!
237
00:08:46,330 --> 00:08:47,662
Dre! I need that!
238
00:08:47,764 --> 00:08:49,464
- You know what? Okay.
- Mm-hmm.
239
00:08:49,566 --> 00:08:51,333
- All right.
- Hey, hey!
240
00:08:51,435 --> 00:08:54,169
Your garage door's open now!
241
00:08:57,148 --> 00:08:58,171
Hey, Ma...
242
00:09:00,546 --> 00:09:02,140
Mama?
243
00:09:02,539 --> 00:09:05,006
Mama, no! Why, Black Jesus?!
244
00:09:05,075 --> 00:09:06,141
Take me instead!
245
00:09:06,209 --> 00:09:08,109
Oh, stop acting a fool!
I just fell asleep.
246
00:09:08,211 --> 00:09:10,111
- What's wrong with you?
- Oh.
247
00:09:10,213 --> 00:09:12,647
How about fifty shades of a plot?
248
00:09:14,484 --> 00:09:17,519
Rhonda filled me in about what's
going on with the inheritance.
249
00:09:17,587 --> 00:09:19,521
And I just want to let you know
250
00:09:19,623 --> 00:09:21,589
that I'm totally cool.
251
00:09:21,658 --> 00:09:24,492
Totally, totally cool.
252
00:09:24,594 --> 00:09:26,728
Well, I'm glad, baby.
253
00:09:29,866 --> 00:09:32,467
You know, one might think
that you would, uh,
254
00:09:32,536 --> 00:09:35,236
divide your assets among
your children equally,
255
00:09:35,305 --> 00:09:39,474
but you made a strong move,
and I get that.
256
00:09:40,777 --> 00:09:42,177
Thank you, baby.
257
00:09:44,581 --> 00:09:47,482
Damn it, Mama! I'm your special boy!
258
00:09:47,584 --> 00:09:48,683
What happened?!
259
00:09:48,752 --> 00:09:54,289
Ooh, this is an ugly color
on you, Andre.
260
00:09:54,357 --> 00:09:56,224
I never thought you were this petty.
261
00:09:56,293 --> 00:09:58,092
If I was being petty, I would remind you
262
00:09:58,195 --> 00:09:59,627
of how many grandchildren
I've given you,
263
00:09:59,696 --> 00:10:00,829
but I'm bigger than that.
264
00:10:00,897 --> 00:10:02,597
Five.
265
00:10:02,666 --> 00:10:04,465
Ma, it just doesn't seem fair.
266
00:10:04,568 --> 00:10:06,067
I didn't ask for your opinion.
267
00:10:06,136 --> 00:10:07,836
Now, if you don't like it,
268
00:10:07,904 --> 00:10:09,437
you go work it out with your sister.
269
00:10:12,209 --> 00:10:14,242
My mother was no help.
270
00:10:14,344 --> 00:10:16,978
Meanwhile, Junior was so busy
helping his aunt,
271
00:10:17,080 --> 00:10:18,680
he was no help to Bow.
272
00:10:18,782 --> 00:10:20,415
Hello, sweetheart.
273
00:10:20,483 --> 00:10:22,483
- What's that?
- Mother.
274
00:10:22,586 --> 00:10:24,786
Wow! That looks...
275
00:10:24,855 --> 00:10:26,788
- That looks unfinished.
- Mm-hmm.
276
00:10:26,857 --> 00:10:28,256
- You see this?
- Yeah.
277
00:10:28,325 --> 00:10:31,159
This is where the stuff would
go... if I had a glue stick.
278
00:10:31,228 --> 00:10:33,561
Oh, my God. Yes. A glue stick.
279
00:10:33,597 --> 00:10:35,597
- Okay, I'm gonna go get you a glue stick.
- Thanks.
280
00:10:35,699 --> 00:10:36,965
Can you watch the kids while I...
281
00:10:37,033 --> 00:10:38,199
I ca...
282
00:10:38,268 --> 00:10:40,068
Okay, hang on. Oh, my God.
Wait. Hold on.
283
00:10:40,170 --> 00:10:42,070
What? Why is he awake?
284
00:10:42,138 --> 00:10:43,371
He has nowhere to be?
285
00:10:43,473 --> 00:10:44,973
Okay, Junior,
286
00:10:45,075 --> 00:10:46,574
can you go get her a glue stick?
287
00:10:46,676 --> 00:10:48,643
- That's a no can do.
- What?
288
00:10:48,678 --> 00:10:51,279
Got to drive Auntie-maria
to the Creed meet and greet.
289
00:10:51,348 --> 00:10:53,581
I'm pretty sure she can
get there by herself.
290
00:10:53,650 --> 00:10:55,383
She's had six Proseccos.
291
00:10:55,485 --> 00:10:56,751
What?
292
00:10:56,853 --> 00:10:58,486
Blessed be the fruit of the vine.
293
00:10:58,588 --> 00:10:59,954
All righty, let's go.
294
00:11:00,056 --> 00:11:01,055
Yeah, put that down.
295
00:11:01,157 --> 00:11:02,891
Oh, my God.
296
00:11:02,959 --> 00:11:05,193
Hey, wh... why are you in your pajamas?
297
00:11:05,262 --> 00:11:07,528
Did you take a nap after school?
298
00:11:07,597 --> 00:11:10,465
A nap? I'm just waking up
from last night.
299
00:11:10,533 --> 00:11:11,566
What?
300
00:11:11,668 --> 00:11:13,334
Junior has been getting us
up in the morning.
301
00:11:13,403 --> 00:11:15,403
- He has?
- Can I have some cereal?
302
00:11:15,472 --> 00:11:18,139
I only have an hour to eat
breakfast and lunch before dinner.
303
00:11:18,208 --> 00:11:20,842
Of course, sweetheart. I'm sorry.
My goodness.
304
00:11:20,944 --> 00:11:22,477
O... Oh.
305
00:11:22,545 --> 00:11:24,445
Right.
306
00:11:24,547 --> 00:11:26,414
Junior buys the cereal.
307
00:11:27,617 --> 00:11:30,485
Guys, the Environmental Impact Agency
308
00:11:30,553 --> 00:11:33,021
says this entire building
is riddled with asbestos
309
00:11:33,123 --> 00:11:35,056
and black mold, so gather up our stuff.
310
00:11:35,125 --> 00:11:36,557
We got to vacate immediately.
311
00:11:36,626 --> 00:11:38,793
I need to get my inheritance
back from my sister.
312
00:11:38,828 --> 00:11:41,996
Outstanding. Nobody leaves this
table till we figure it out.
313
00:11:42,098 --> 00:11:43,898
- Come on.
- But the asbestos.
314
00:11:43,967 --> 00:11:46,367
First things first... how bad
do you want to crush her?
315
00:11:46,436 --> 00:11:48,736
Like, are we talking "no
relationship for 10 years" crushed
316
00:11:48,805 --> 00:11:52,006
or, like, "yelling at cars for
the rest of her life" crushed?
317
00:11:52,075 --> 00:11:53,174
I don't want to crush her.
318
00:11:53,209 --> 00:11:54,876
Okay, that's the wrong attitude, Dre.
319
00:11:54,911 --> 00:11:56,577
Hey, everyone else is leaving,
so maybe...
320
00:11:56,680 --> 00:11:59,647
You want to lawyer up, just like
I did when I sued Panera.
321
00:11:59,716 --> 00:12:01,649
Actually, I hired two lawyers.
322
00:12:01,751 --> 00:12:03,418
Got the second one
to look after the first one
323
00:12:03,520 --> 00:12:05,620
to make sure he wasn't in
the pocket of Big Bread.
324
00:12:05,722 --> 00:12:06,888
Okay, I'm not gonna get
a lawyer, all right?
325
00:12:06,990 --> 00:12:09,390
I just need to convince Rhonda
to give me half.
326
00:12:09,492 --> 00:12:11,359
Okay, good luck.
You couldn't convince me
327
00:12:11,428 --> 00:12:13,661
to give you half of my sandwich
at lunch, and I was done.
328
00:12:13,763 --> 00:12:14,929
Sandwich, huh?
329
00:12:15,031 --> 00:12:16,597
So Bread's got their hooks in you, too.
330
00:12:16,666 --> 00:12:18,800
Hey, could we have
this conversation outside?
331
00:12:18,902 --> 00:12:20,868
Everything's starting to look
like burning film.
332
00:12:20,971 --> 00:12:22,303
Mark my words, Dre.
333
00:12:22,405 --> 00:12:25,073
You do not want to be
the only one without a lawyer.
334
00:12:25,141 --> 00:12:26,441
You don't get it.
335
00:12:26,509 --> 00:12:28,209
My sister is not the lawyer type.
336
00:12:28,311 --> 00:12:30,011
Just be smart and lawyer up, okay?
337
00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:31,980
Otherwise you're gonna find yourself
answering a lot of questions
338
00:12:32,048 --> 00:12:34,782
about what you were doing with
zoo-grade elephant tranquilizer.
339
00:12:36,686 --> 00:12:38,586
- Want some?
- Mom, for our project...
340
00:12:38,688 --> 00:12:40,421
- Yeah.
- ...we need to interview an old person
341
00:12:40,523 --> 00:12:42,302
to learn about how life was in the past.
342
00:12:42,327 --> 00:12:44,392
- Okay.
- So, how was life in the past?
343
00:12:44,393 --> 00:12:45,323
What?
344
00:12:45,348 --> 00:12:47,288
And why haven't you
gotten me a glue stick?
345
00:12:47,313 --> 00:12:48,984
- Oh, a glue stick.
- Am I supposed to use tape
346
00:12:49,045 --> 00:12:51,581
- like some kind of jerk?
- Guys, I am on it, all right?
347
00:12:51,634 --> 00:12:53,234
I just... I got to finish
feeding Devante,
348
00:12:53,336 --> 00:12:54,669
who doesn't seem to sleep anymore.
349
00:12:54,738 --> 00:12:55,837
I know.
350
00:12:55,905 --> 00:12:58,973
Okay, are you sure
it's not too much boob?
351
00:12:59,075 --> 00:13:00,742
Definitely too much boob.
352
00:13:00,844 --> 00:13:03,878
I've asked you to cover up
multiple times.
353
00:13:03,947 --> 00:13:05,613
Oh, sweetheart, I'm so glad you're here.
354
00:13:05,715 --> 00:13:07,215
I need you to give your brother a bath
355
00:13:07,317 --> 00:13:08,616
so that I can go to the store
356
00:13:08,685 --> 00:13:10,218
and get your sister a glue stick.
357
00:13:10,320 --> 00:13:13,654
Can't. I'm escorting Santamaria
to Mase's Midnight Mass.
358
00:13:13,723 --> 00:13:16,391
I'm not allowed in,
but she needs me to wait nearby
359
00:13:16,459 --> 00:13:18,259
in case she catches the Holy Ghost.
360
00:13:18,361 --> 00:13:21,295
Okay, that is a no. It's a school night.
361
00:13:21,398 --> 00:13:23,498
Really? That's the part
you have a problem with?
362
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:25,967
- Excuse me?
- I have to go.
363
00:13:26,069 --> 00:13:27,368
It's my job, Mom.
364
00:13:27,437 --> 00:13:29,070
Auntie-maria appreciates me.
365
00:13:29,139 --> 00:13:30,471
She's taking advantage of you.
366
00:13:30,507 --> 00:13:31,939
And I need you to give
your brother a bath
367
00:13:32,042 --> 00:13:33,674
so I can go to the store
to get her a glue stick.
368
00:13:33,743 --> 00:13:35,777
Devil is a lie.
369
00:13:35,879 --> 00:13:38,279
You have no problem with the
fact that it's a school night.
370
00:13:38,314 --> 00:13:40,481
You're mad because the Lord told Junior
371
00:13:40,583 --> 00:13:42,784
to come work for me instead of you.
372
00:13:42,852 --> 00:13:45,520
No. Junior doesn't work for me.
He's my son.
373
00:13:45,622 --> 00:13:48,322
And I gave him to you
so that I could have a break.
374
00:13:48,425 --> 00:13:50,525
Yeah, well, I'm not giving him back.
375
00:13:50,593 --> 00:13:52,527
Hey, you can't just
pass me back and forth
376
00:13:52,629 --> 00:13:53,761
like a collection plate.
377
00:13:53,830 --> 00:13:55,363
- What's a collection plate?
- What?
378
00:13:55,465 --> 00:13:57,065
See, Mom? She needs me.
379
00:13:57,167 --> 00:13:58,199
You're staying.
380
00:13:58,301 --> 00:13:59,634
That's not fair.
381
00:14:00,537 --> 00:14:01,536
Take him.
382
00:14:01,604 --> 00:14:03,204
I-I have a cold.
383
00:14:03,306 --> 00:14:05,606
I have a cold.
384
00:14:05,675 --> 00:14:07,141
We're on a break.
385
00:14:07,166 --> 00:14:08,196
Here.
386
00:14:08,244 --> 00:14:11,045
N... Mnh-mnh. Oh, no, no. No, no.
This is a Halston.
387
00:14:11,081 --> 00:14:12,246
No, no, no, no, no.
388
00:14:12,348 --> 00:14:15,216
What? No. No! This is a baby.
389
00:14:15,318 --> 00:14:18,186
Santamaria, I apologize.
390
00:14:18,288 --> 00:14:20,054
I can no longer work for you,
391
00:14:20,123 --> 00:14:22,623
as my mom cannot handle me
having a career.
392
00:14:22,692 --> 00:14:23,624
What?
393
00:14:23,726 --> 00:14:25,460
I guess it's true what they say.
394
00:14:25,528 --> 00:14:27,528
Teenage boys can't have it all.
395
00:14:30,500 --> 00:14:33,501
So my mom told Rhonda
I wanted half of the building,
396
00:14:33,603 --> 00:14:36,938
and she was not happy about it.
397
00:14:37,040 --> 00:14:39,107
Hey, thanks for coming.
398
00:14:39,175 --> 00:14:41,976
We, uh... We need to talk.
399
00:14:42,045 --> 00:14:44,212
I don't even know why I'm here.
Honestly, I don't.
400
00:14:44,280 --> 00:14:45,446
I don't normally speak to people
401
00:14:45,515 --> 00:14:47,448
that steal my garage-door openers
402
00:14:47,550 --> 00:14:49,150
and half my inheritance.
403
00:14:49,252 --> 00:14:51,786
I wasn't trying to steal it, all right?
404
00:14:51,855 --> 00:14:55,022
We've never had any property
to pass down to our children.
405
00:14:55,125 --> 00:14:57,458
This is our first chance
at having a legacy.
406
00:14:57,560 --> 00:14:59,427
I don't have time
to think about a legacy.
407
00:14:59,529 --> 00:15:01,796
I'm using deodorant
that's also toothpaste.
408
00:15:01,865 --> 00:15:03,664
How much could you possibly be saving?
409
00:15:03,766 --> 00:15:05,399
A lot.
410
00:15:05,502 --> 00:15:08,035
Just because Mom says that you
could have the duplex
411
00:15:08,104 --> 00:15:09,470
doesn't mean that's what's right.
412
00:15:09,539 --> 00:15:11,072
I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Excuse me.
413
00:15:11,141 --> 00:15:13,040
Could you just state your full name
414
00:15:13,143 --> 00:15:17,278
and detail exactly
what Ruby Johnson said
415
00:15:17,380 --> 00:15:22,550
regarding her wishes for
property 3629 Slauson Avenue?
416
00:15:22,652 --> 00:15:23,818
Really?
417
00:15:23,853 --> 00:15:25,520
- You're recording this?
- Yeah.
418
00:15:25,588 --> 00:15:26,954
My lawyer said it's a good idea.
419
00:15:27,056 --> 00:15:28,156
You got a lawyer?
420
00:15:29,425 --> 00:15:32,827
You hired a lawyer to go against
your own flesh and blood?
421
00:15:36,533 --> 00:15:38,866
Hold up. Did you hire a lawyer?!
422
00:15:38,935 --> 00:15:41,269
Of course not! Hey, go away, sir!
423
00:15:41,371 --> 00:15:43,237
No, I do not want to buy a rose!
424
00:15:43,339 --> 00:15:44,372
Shoo!
425
00:15:44,474 --> 00:15:46,307
I know why you're mad, Dre. I do.
426
00:15:46,376 --> 00:15:48,776
Our whole life you had Mom to yourself.
427
00:15:48,845 --> 00:15:50,678
And now she and I are getting along.
428
00:15:50,747 --> 00:15:52,446
She wants to leave me something.
429
00:15:52,549 --> 00:15:54,015
And you can't handle it.
430
00:15:54,117 --> 00:15:55,883
Mom just wants to give it to you
431
00:15:55,952 --> 00:15:57,785
because she doesn't think that
you have anything else
432
00:15:57,887 --> 00:15:59,053
going on in your life.
433
00:15:59,155 --> 00:16:01,822
Really, Dre?
434
00:16:01,925 --> 00:16:03,157
I... Rhonda...
435
00:16:03,226 --> 00:16:06,093
No, I don't think
there's anything left to say.
436
00:16:07,830 --> 00:16:09,630
I'll see you in court.
437
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,300
Joke's on you!
438
00:16:13,636 --> 00:16:16,149
That was your muffin! Huh!
439
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:21,204
- Dre, I can't believe you got a lawyer.
- I had to.
440
00:16:21,282 --> 00:16:24,240
It was so obvious that
we should each get half.
441
00:16:24,295 --> 00:16:25,895
You need to let this alone.
442
00:16:25,997 --> 00:16:27,129
What?
443
00:16:27,164 --> 00:16:28,697
Dre, you don't need a building.
444
00:16:28,799 --> 00:16:30,032
Rhonda does.
445
00:16:30,134 --> 00:16:31,767
The point is, I need to break her
446
00:16:31,836 --> 00:16:33,335
until the only thing she's good at
447
00:16:33,437 --> 00:16:35,437
is yelling at cars.
448
00:16:35,539 --> 00:16:37,306
What?
449
00:16:37,375 --> 00:16:39,775
Have you been talking to
those people at work?
450
00:16:39,844 --> 00:16:42,411
I never talk to those people.
451
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,213
You need to be mindful
452
00:16:44,315 --> 00:16:45,981
about who you're taking advice from
453
00:16:46,050 --> 00:16:47,683
before you blow up your family.
454
00:16:47,752 --> 00:16:49,785
Look, I don't want that to happen.
455
00:16:49,887 --> 00:16:52,454
You know my family is the most
important thing to me.
456
00:16:52,490 --> 00:16:53,856
I know that, babe.
457
00:16:53,925 --> 00:16:55,724
I didn't even want to talk
about my mother dying.
458
00:16:55,826 --> 00:16:58,827
It just puts it out there
in the universe.
459
00:16:58,896 --> 00:17:01,463
Is that how that works?
460
00:17:01,532 --> 00:17:03,732
Talk about your mom dying,
461
00:17:03,801 --> 00:17:05,634
and it's more possible she'll die?
462
00:17:05,703 --> 00:17:06,635
Stop that.
463
00:17:06,704 --> 00:17:08,337
- Mom dying.
- Bow.
464
00:17:08,406 --> 00:17:09,738
- Dying.
- Bow!
465
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:12,007
Dying.
466
00:17:16,714 --> 00:17:18,847
Hey, who bought this cereal?
467
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:21,483
I did. I'm stepping up my game.
468
00:17:21,552 --> 00:17:23,819
This is basically a sugar bomb.
469
00:17:23,888 --> 00:17:25,587
I can feel my heartbeat in my eyes.
470
00:17:25,656 --> 00:17:27,056
Mm-hmm. Ooh! Race you to school?!
471
00:17:27,158 --> 00:17:28,624
Bye!
472
00:17:28,726 --> 00:17:30,926
Bye.
473
00:17:31,996 --> 00:17:33,696
I...
474
00:17:36,801 --> 00:17:39,902
I have taken you for granted, Junior,
475
00:17:39,937 --> 00:17:41,236
and I am sorry.
476
00:17:41,305 --> 00:17:44,573
You have been such a big help
477
00:17:44,642 --> 00:17:48,310
while I've been sleep-training Devante.
478
00:17:48,412 --> 00:17:52,014
But... sweetheart,
479
00:17:52,116 --> 00:17:53,382
you're a lot.
480
00:17:53,484 --> 00:17:55,150
I am.
481
00:17:55,252 --> 00:17:56,852
But...
482
00:17:56,921 --> 00:17:59,555
I need a lot.
483
00:17:59,623 --> 00:18:01,056
You do.
484
00:18:01,158 --> 00:18:02,858
Yeah.
485
00:18:02,960 --> 00:18:05,260
- I just like to feel needed...
- I know.
486
00:18:05,329 --> 00:18:06,862
- ...by you.
- Oh.
487
00:18:06,964 --> 00:18:08,564
Not Auntie-maria.
488
00:18:08,666 --> 00:18:11,133
Ooh, yeah.
489
00:18:11,202 --> 00:18:12,968
You heard that?
490
00:18:13,004 --> 00:18:14,470
Baby's not gonna take care of himself.
491
00:18:14,538 --> 00:18:16,705
All right.
492
00:18:16,807 --> 00:18:18,907
Junior's coming, Devante!
493
00:18:24,648 --> 00:18:27,950
- Unh-unh, no. I'm not doing it. No.
- Hey. Hey. Come on, Rhonda.
494
00:18:28,019 --> 00:18:30,352
I had to cancel 12 other Lyfts
just to get you.
495
00:18:30,421 --> 00:18:31,653
This does not come cheap.
496
00:18:31,756 --> 00:18:33,355
Fine.
497
00:18:37,294 --> 00:18:41,730
And we are headed to
421 Forgive Me Avenue?
498
00:18:41,799 --> 00:18:43,399
That isn't a real address.
499
00:18:43,467 --> 00:18:45,968
Okay, just... just take me anywhere.
500
00:18:49,673 --> 00:18:51,540
I only wanted us to have a legacy
501
00:18:51,642 --> 00:18:54,877
so we have something
to pass down to our kids.
502
00:18:54,945 --> 00:18:56,779
I hate fighting with you.
503
00:18:56,881 --> 00:18:58,514
I hate fighting with you, too, Dre.
504
00:18:58,616 --> 00:19:01,417
I do. It's just...
I don't have it like you.
505
00:19:01,485 --> 00:19:03,552
Sharon and I are really
struggling right now.
506
00:19:03,621 --> 00:19:06,221
I'm starting to believe she's
not that great of a mechanic.
507
00:19:07,458 --> 00:19:11,293
I didn't mean it that...
you're not gonna go anywhere.
508
00:19:11,362 --> 00:19:14,196
All right? You know, things will change.
509
00:19:14,298 --> 00:19:16,265
I see you out there hustling
the way Mom used to.
510
00:19:16,367 --> 00:19:18,867
- Ooh, that woman used to hustle!
- Mm-hmm.
511
00:19:18,936 --> 00:19:20,502
- Remember that?!
- Yeah.
512
00:19:20,571 --> 00:19:21,804
Ooh, remember when she used to ask us
513
00:19:21,872 --> 00:19:23,705
to come pick up the rent with her?
514
00:19:23,774 --> 00:19:26,442
Clicking along in her tracksuit
with her little kitten heels.
515
00:19:26,477 --> 00:19:27,843
Gun in her purse, just 'cause.
516
00:19:29,288 --> 00:19:31,989
Oh, we had a lot of memories
in that building.
517
00:19:32,091 --> 00:19:34,358
We can't let it just go.
518
00:19:38,431 --> 00:19:40,664
Hey, hey, hey. What are we stopping for?
519
00:19:40,766 --> 00:19:43,100
Oh, you chose Lyft Line.
This is a shared ride.
520
00:19:43,202 --> 00:19:44,968
Hey. I'm Mike.
521
00:19:45,070 --> 00:19:46,904
My wife kicked me out.
522
00:19:46,972 --> 00:19:49,173
Ooh, I'm sorry about that, Mike.
Phone charger?
523
00:19:49,241 --> 00:19:50,741
Oh, no, I'm good. I mean, I'm not,
524
00:19:50,843 --> 00:19:52,334
but, uh, I don't need a charger.
525
00:19:52,436 --> 00:19:55,245
We're kind of in the middle
of a family thing, Mike.
526
00:19:55,347 --> 00:19:58,215
Hey, since neither one of us
wants to sell,
527
00:19:58,284 --> 00:20:00,083
maybe we could figure out something
528
00:20:00,152 --> 00:20:02,845
that works for both of us,
like a buyout.
529
00:20:02,947 --> 00:20:04,655
You'd do that, Dre?
530
00:20:04,757 --> 00:20:06,148
Of course I would.
531
00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:08,317
You're my sister. I got you.
532
00:20:08,419 --> 00:20:11,053
Thank you.
533
00:20:11,155 --> 00:20:14,323
Now, can we please stop
talking about Mom dying?
534
00:20:14,425 --> 00:20:15,390
My mom died.
535
00:20:15,493 --> 00:20:17,893
My stepmom, but still, it hurt.
536
00:20:17,995 --> 00:20:19,503
How far are you going, man?
537
00:20:19,605 --> 00:20:22,264
I'm not really going anywhere.
I just wanted to talk.
538
00:20:22,366 --> 00:20:23,325
Is that cool?
539
00:20:23,375 --> 00:20:25,108
Oh. I...
540
00:20:26,138 --> 00:20:28,271
Okay, Grandma, we need
one more thing for our project
541
00:20:28,365 --> 00:20:30,325
- on how things used to be.
- Okay.
542
00:20:30,396 --> 00:20:32,379
So what's something from
the past that you miss?
543
00:20:32,427 --> 00:20:33,760
Quaaludes.
544
00:20:33,862 --> 00:20:36,438
- What are Quaaludes?
- Ruby!
545
00:20:36,540 --> 00:20:40,008
Um... smoking cigarettes
in the hospital.
546
00:20:40,110 --> 00:20:42,502
Okay. Ruby, they're children, so...
547
00:20:42,604 --> 00:20:44,037
Okay, fine.
548
00:20:44,139 --> 00:20:45,538
Littering.
549
00:20:45,641 --> 00:20:47,440
Fur coats, butter.
550
00:20:47,542 --> 00:20:49,275
Uh, oh, adult cinemas.
551
00:20:49,378 --> 00:20:51,177
- Okay. Thank you.
- Making love in a car.
552
00:20:51,279 --> 00:20:52,278
- Thank you. Thank you.
- You know, ohh.
553
00:20:52,381 --> 00:20:53,546
Thank you. Thank you.
554
00:20:53,649 --> 00:20:55,181
That was... Thank you.
555
00:20:55,283 --> 00:20:56,259
That was...
556
00:20:56,284 --> 00:20:57,984
- Um, can you say those again?
- No.
557
00:20:58,086 --> 00:21:00,086
- Like, so we can write it down.
- No.
558
00:21:00,188 --> 00:21:02,188
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