00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162 Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM 1 00:00:22,788 --> 00:00:24,290 Get a load of this loser. 2 00:00:24,322 --> 00:00:26,182 ALBA: Yeah, looks like a barista or something. 3 00:00:26,182 --> 00:00:28,518 - Probably writes poetry. - (SCOFFS) 4 00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:31,590 Is that your boyfriend? 5 00:00:31,596 --> 00:00:34,081 No, that's not my boyfriend. It's my poetry teacher, Mr. Reed. 6 00:00:34,087 --> 00:00:35,892 - What?! Are you serious? - Nailed it. 7 00:00:35,924 --> 00:00:37,367 What are you two so happy about? 8 00:00:37,373 --> 00:00:38,408 Don't worry about it. 9 00:00:38,434 --> 00:00:39,577 Don't you think it's a little bit late 10 00:00:39,582 --> 00:00:41,417 to be getting a ride home from your teacher? 11 00:00:41,443 --> 00:00:43,542 I was at an open mike night at the coffee shop he works at. 12 00:00:43,573 --> 00:00:45,754 - What?! - (GASPS) Two times! Two times! 13 00:00:45,774 --> 00:00:46,964 - You're good. - What is happening? 14 00:00:46,979 --> 00:00:49,265 Eh, nothing. Just that we are psychic as balls. 15 00:00:49,291 --> 00:00:51,755 Mm-hmm. And as a psychic person, I will have you know 16 00:00:51,781 --> 00:00:53,737 it's never a good idea to have sex with your teacher. 17 00:00:53,773 --> 00:00:55,974 - I'm not sleeping with him. - Good. 18 00:00:56,019 --> 00:00:58,078 - Yet. - Wha... ? Oh, come on. 19 00:00:58,343 --> 00:01:00,325 Sabrina, I always knew you were dumb, 20 00:01:00,356 --> 00:01:02,399 but I didn't realize you were a walking cliché. 21 00:01:02,450 --> 00:01:05,286 I thought you liked the pretty morons with the cheese-grater abs. 22 00:01:05,307 --> 00:01:07,924 Yeah, I did, when I was younger. But I'm a woman now. 23 00:01:07,939 --> 00:01:10,181 I can grate cheese on Brian's brains. 24 00:01:10,547 --> 00:01:12,864 Brian sounds like a real child molester. 25 00:01:12,879 --> 00:01:15,095 Why? Because he thinks I have a real future? 26 00:01:15,110 --> 00:01:16,798 - In poetry? - Sure. 27 00:01:16,849 --> 00:01:18,263 Or maybe as a singer/songwriter, 28 00:01:18,268 --> 00:01:20,041 if I ever decide to put my words to music. 29 00:01:20,166 --> 00:01:22,888 You can't sing. Or write songs. 30 00:01:23,102 --> 00:01:25,527 Come on, open your eyes, this guy just wants to bang you. 31 00:01:25,557 --> 00:01:26,950 Oh, really? Then why does he want me to read 32 00:01:26,955 --> 00:01:28,785 my poetry at the school's Art Fest? 33 00:01:28,815 --> 00:01:30,955 Uh, because he wants to bang you. 34 00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,221 BEN: I like poetry. 35 00:01:32,261 --> 00:01:35,097 - Boat, coat, moat. - Yeah, careful, Ben, 36 00:01:35,112 --> 00:01:36,632 she might fall in love with you, too. 37 00:01:36,647 --> 00:01:39,082 Listen, I had a fling in high school with a faculty member, 38 00:01:39,082 --> 00:01:40,486 and it was a big mistake. 39 00:01:40,526 --> 00:01:42,020 You slept with a teacher? Sweet. 40 00:01:42,050 --> 00:01:43,758 No, it was not sweet. And it wasn't a teacher. 41 00:01:43,784 --> 00:01:45,329 It was just this guy who worked at the school. 42 00:01:45,344 --> 00:01:46,706 Mm-hmm. Like a janitor? 43 00:01:46,772 --> 00:01:48,327 No, not like a janitor. 44 00:01:48,774 --> 00:01:50,167 He was head of maintenance. 45 00:01:50,192 --> 00:01:51,824 So King Janitor. 46 00:01:51,949 --> 00:01:54,340 All that matters is that it was very traumatic. 47 00:01:54,386 --> 00:01:56,907 Once he got what he wanted from me, he just blew me off. 48 00:01:57,032 --> 00:01:58,722 And when I tried to confront him about it, 49 00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:01,127 he... he just acted like nothing ever happened, you know? 50 00:02:01,152 --> 00:02:03,673 Like I was just this crazy psycho who dreamt the whole thing up. 51 00:02:03,719 --> 00:02:05,056 And nobody believed me. 52 00:02:05,128 --> 00:02:06,952 They all trusted the janitor, huh? 53 00:02:07,638 --> 00:02:10,073 At least the janitor drove a car. 54 00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:13,506 (THUDDING) 55 00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,075 Whoa. What's going on? 56 00:02:19,711 --> 00:02:21,875 I'm trying to stick the frickin' landing on the frickin' handspring. 57 00:02:21,890 --> 00:02:23,922 - You got to bend your knees. - I freaking know that! 58 00:02:23,938 --> 00:02:26,292 Okay, hey, don't snap at me, all right? 59 00:02:27,232 --> 00:02:28,621 Talk to me. 60 00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:31,969 Let me in. 61 00:02:34,718 --> 00:02:35,750 Okay, well... 62 00:02:36,695 --> 00:02:38,795 they published the eighth grade Hot List, 63 00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:40,502 and I came in at number 42. 64 00:02:40,543 --> 00:02:42,667 - Oh, that's not so bad. - Out of 50. 65 00:02:42,701 --> 00:02:44,237 Oh. That stings. 66 00:02:45,362 --> 00:02:46,415 God, you know, when I was a kid, 67 00:02:46,445 --> 00:02:48,712 they used to tack that thing to the bulletin board. 68 00:02:49,154 --> 00:02:50,541 I was always top five. 69 00:02:50,666 --> 00:02:51,756 One time I got strep throat, 70 00:02:51,781 --> 00:02:53,793 they had to send everyone home on antibiotics. 71 00:02:53,829 --> 00:02:55,822 I don't get it. I've tried everything. 72 00:02:55,837 --> 00:02:57,595 My hair is bigger than it's ever been. 73 00:02:57,626 --> 00:02:59,471 I paid for everyone's lunches last week. 74 00:02:59,481 --> 00:03:01,310 I spent a fortune on this belt buckle. 75 00:03:01,356 --> 00:03:03,577 I figured this handspring would really turn things around. 76 00:03:04,609 --> 00:03:06,520 Give me 200 bucks... I'll fix your problem. 77 00:03:07,714 --> 00:03:09,621 - You can get me to number one? - Yeah. 78 00:03:09,641 --> 00:03:11,415 Well, I mean, right after I cure genital herpes 79 00:03:11,430 --> 00:03:12,879 and fix the racial divide in America. 80 00:03:12,909 --> 00:03:14,917 No, I am not a miracle worker, Chip. 81 00:03:15,232 --> 00:03:16,955 But I can get you in the top 20. 82 00:03:18,719 --> 00:03:19,807 Okay, fine. 83 00:03:20,076 --> 00:03:21,317 What do I got to do? 84 00:03:23,081 --> 00:03:24,316 You get some beauty sleep 85 00:03:24,351 --> 00:03:26,532 and enjoy your final night of being uncool. 86 00:03:26,715 --> 00:03:29,755 YOUNG WOMAN: "I got up from the floor, and I took a walk. 87 00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:32,483 "As I reached the top of the bridge, 88 00:03:32,608 --> 00:03:34,064 my feet trembled. 89 00:03:34,277 --> 00:03:38,226 I realized just how easily I could jump." 90 00:03:38,846 --> 00:03:40,711 - (SCATTERED APPLAUSE) - Do it. Jump already. 91 00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:42,257 - Don't heckle the poets. - Oh. 92 00:03:42,262 --> 00:03:43,583 Got to keep a low profile. 93 00:03:43,649 --> 00:03:46,140 I'm trying to assess how big of a threat Mr. Reed is. 94 00:03:47,217 --> 00:03:48,768 MICKEY: Oh, yep. There he is, 95 00:03:48,773 --> 00:03:50,130 surrounded by all of his groupies. 96 00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,509 Ah, probably deciding which one he wants... 97 00:03:52,575 --> 00:03:53,972 to kill. 98 00:03:54,405 --> 00:03:56,483 I don't think poets are going around killing people. 99 00:03:56,534 --> 00:03:58,029 Yeah? What about Che Guevara? 100 00:03:58,380 --> 00:04:00,499 I don't know what that means. Shh. 101 00:04:00,624 --> 00:04:02,233 "Wind passes. 102 00:04:02,467 --> 00:04:04,886 The glowering sun emerges, 103 00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,305 and with it a new day." 104 00:04:07,733 --> 00:04:09,252 (SIGHS) 105 00:04:09,532 --> 00:04:10,660 I'm sorry. 106 00:04:11,413 --> 00:04:13,476 Just with all the pain in the world... 107 00:04:13,933 --> 00:04:16,677 it feels more appropriate to speak from the heart, off the cuff. 108 00:04:16,802 --> 00:04:18,207 - Ew, gross. - Yeah. 109 00:04:19,097 --> 00:04:20,993 When I close my eyes, 110 00:04:21,118 --> 00:04:23,392 I see our land in flames. 111 00:04:23,682 --> 00:04:26,553 And I ask myself, who do we blame? 112 00:04:26,817 --> 00:04:30,297 Do we blame the old beggar with the crumbs in his beard? 113 00:04:30,297 --> 00:04:31,990 Or do you not see him? 114 00:04:32,023 --> 00:04:34,059 - Do you wish... - Is he gonna say "disappear"? 115 00:04:34,092 --> 00:04:35,513 ... he'd disappear? 116 00:04:35,532 --> 00:04:36,860 - Get out of here. - Wha... ? 117 00:04:36,927 --> 00:04:39,243 - Did you know that one? - What the hell was that? No. 118 00:04:39,275 --> 00:04:40,806 It wasn't... that wasn't off the cuff. 119 00:04:40,850 --> 00:04:43,035 - It rhymed. It was a poem. - (GASPS QUIETLY) 120 00:04:44,981 --> 00:04:47,471 (GASPS) Did he just tickle her? 121 00:04:47,484 --> 00:04:49,274 He definitely did just tickle her. 122 00:04:49,306 --> 00:04:50,668 We caught a predator. 123 00:04:50,706 --> 00:04:52,658 I'm gonna go give Dr. Seuss a piece of my mind. 124 00:04:52,677 --> 00:04:54,289 All right. Well, I'm gonna hang back. Oh, hey. 125 00:04:54,414 --> 00:04:55,819 Do you think they got hash here? 126 00:04:56,459 --> 00:04:57,459 What, like, on the menu? 127 00:04:57,471 --> 00:04:58,649 - Yeah. - No. 128 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,384 You know, it's cool. I'm gonna ask anyway. Yeah. 129 00:05:02,406 --> 00:05:03,472 Psst. 130 00:05:07,462 --> 00:05:08,661 (CRICKETS CHIRPING) 131 00:05:10,106 --> 00:05:12,364 - Ow! Aah... - JIMMY: Oh, yeah! 132 00:05:12,397 --> 00:05:14,702 That's gonna shine up real nice. 133 00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:15,934 Wha... ? 134 00:05:16,186 --> 00:05:17,985 The hell is the matter with you, you frickin' idiots! 135 00:05:18,003 --> 00:05:19,514 Okay, you know what, you want to complain, 136 00:05:19,530 --> 00:05:20,582 or you want to hear the plan? 137 00:05:20,607 --> 00:05:22,981 That bruise is your ticket to climbing The Hot List. 138 00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:26,087 - How? - Aw, Chip. 139 00:05:26,809 --> 00:05:28,646 I look at you and I see nothing. 140 00:05:28,882 --> 00:05:30,890 You're not smart. You're not funny. 141 00:05:30,890 --> 00:05:33,873 You look like a jackass. Okay? You got no hook. 142 00:05:33,889 --> 00:05:36,488 That black eye's gonna give you some much-needed mystique. 143 00:05:36,613 --> 00:05:38,119 Do I have mystique? 144 00:05:38,244 --> 00:05:39,458 An assload of it. 145 00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:41,418 Now, pay attention. When you go to school 146 00:05:41,438 --> 00:05:42,546 people are gonna ask you what happened. 147 00:05:42,561 --> 00:05:44,463 You keep it vague. You say, "Don't worry about it." 148 00:05:44,496 --> 00:05:46,348 You let the rumor mill do the work. 149 00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:48,894 Whatever they cook up is gonna be far sexier 150 00:05:48,910 --> 00:05:51,302 than the fact you got your ass kicked by a ten-year-old. 151 00:05:51,335 --> 00:05:53,617 - I'm seven. - I rest my case. 152 00:05:54,608 --> 00:05:55,985 Guess it's worth a shot. 153 00:05:56,041 --> 00:05:57,154 Yeah. 154 00:05:57,159 --> 00:05:59,544 But first we're gonna need to make that bruise a little deeper. 155 00:05:59,578 --> 00:06:00,900 Ben. 156 00:06:01,836 --> 00:06:04,027 Due cappuccino. Enjoy. 157 00:06:04,637 --> 00:06:07,087 So, you like underage girls, is that right? 158 00:06:07,865 --> 00:06:10,121 - Excuse me? - Oh, your little cheering section over there. 159 00:06:10,146 --> 00:06:12,784 - You like 'em young? - Oh. My students. 160 00:06:12,909 --> 00:06:15,865 To be honest, I think they're only here 'cause I offered them extra credit. 161 00:06:15,896 --> 00:06:17,670 Oh, I bet you did. 162 00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:19,998 What do you offer them next, a little red wine? 163 00:06:20,227 --> 00:06:21,833 Some aged cheeses? 164 00:06:22,437 --> 00:06:23,668 I'm sorry, I don't follow. 165 00:06:23,749 --> 00:06:26,104 Let me see if you can follow this, Mr. Tambourine Man. 166 00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,431 I see you. I see right through you. 167 00:06:28,461 --> 00:06:29,955 - So if you think that... - I'm sorry to interrupt, 168 00:06:29,975 --> 00:06:33,177 but can you just tilt your head that way, just a little bit? 169 00:06:34,697 --> 00:06:35,698 Why? 170 00:06:35,759 --> 00:06:37,683 The way the light is bouncing off your hair, 171 00:06:37,715 --> 00:06:39,454 it looks really cool. 172 00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:44,365 Well, I just got highlights. (NERVOUS CHUCKLE) 173 00:06:44,817 --> 00:06:45,991 I'm Brian. 174 00:06:46,723 --> 00:06:47,898 Yeah. 175 00:06:51,810 --> 00:06:54,397 - Oh, hey, where'd you go last night? - Yeah, 176 00:06:54,641 --> 00:06:55,789 it's kind of a long story. 177 00:06:55,795 --> 00:06:57,396 (CHUCKLES): Yeah. Tell me about it. 178 00:06:57,402 --> 00:06:59,109 They didn't sell hash at that place, 179 00:06:59,145 --> 00:07:01,488 but I got to talking to some of those poets, 180 00:07:01,524 --> 00:07:04,250 and they had hash, so we smoked up in their van, 181 00:07:04,268 --> 00:07:05,889 and we got so faded. 182 00:07:05,909 --> 00:07:07,312 (LAUGHS): Oh, it's good. 183 00:07:07,342 --> 00:07:08,389 - That's really great. - Mm. 184 00:07:08,430 --> 00:07:10,300 Yeah. Oh. What about you? 185 00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:13,656 - Did you confront Sabrina's teacher? - Yeah, yeah. Kind of. 186 00:07:13,727 --> 00:07:15,019 And then I banged him. 187 00:07:15,212 --> 00:07:17,778 - What? - Yeah. Now, look, before you say anything, 188 00:07:17,839 --> 00:07:20,028 it's actually a pretty smart parenting move, right? 189 00:07:20,049 --> 00:07:21,482 - Mm. - She's not gonna want to go 190 00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:23,841 anywhere near that guy, 'cause I poisoned the well... 191 00:07:24,252 --> 00:07:25,830 'cause I'm the champ. 192 00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:27,332 You don't follow the champ. 193 00:07:28,309 --> 00:07:31,852 So... you had sex with Sabrina's crush... 194 00:07:31,977 --> 00:07:33,500 - for Sabrina? - Mm-hmm. 195 00:07:33,530 --> 00:07:35,522 She better thank me for it, too, 'cause it was not good. 196 00:07:35,558 --> 00:07:37,459 - Oh. - Lot of ear stuff. 197 00:07:38,048 --> 00:07:39,284 What happened to you? 198 00:07:39,309 --> 00:07:41,320 Lose your keys and have to sleep in the yard again? 199 00:07:41,445 --> 00:07:43,990 Nope. Actually, I was with a man. 200 00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:45,616 Oh. Good for you. 201 00:07:45,649 --> 00:07:46,846 Did he have a nice tent? 202 00:07:46,913 --> 00:07:49,439 - Okay. I go do something else. - (MICKEY CHUCKLES) 203 00:07:49,564 --> 00:07:50,913 Nope. No tent. 204 00:07:50,989 --> 00:07:53,870 Uh, just a crappy little studio apartment. 205 00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:57,575 Actually, think you might know this man: Mr. Brian Reed. 206 00:07:57,972 --> 00:07:59,868 (LAUGHS) Yeah, right. 207 00:08:00,666 --> 00:08:01,800 I'm sorry? 208 00:08:02,389 --> 00:08:04,219 (LAUGHING): Are you... Are you serious? 209 00:08:04,435 --> 00:08:06,971 Oh, my God, Mickey, he's way out of your league. 210 00:08:07,406 --> 00:08:09,734 - (SCOFFS) Clearly not. - Mr. Reed prefers smart, 211 00:08:09,749 --> 00:08:12,057 interesting women. Like me. 212 00:08:12,098 --> 00:08:13,932 Oh, believe you me, I had him. 213 00:08:14,057 --> 00:08:16,455 - I plowed him. Plowed him good. - Mm-hmm. 214 00:08:16,473 --> 00:08:18,867 And I wouldn't be surprised if he needs to take a sick day. 215 00:08:20,001 --> 00:08:21,470 Oh, God, what do you have? 216 00:08:22,217 --> 00:08:25,708 Nothing. No, not me. I'm not gross or sick. 217 00:08:25,833 --> 00:08:27,645 - I... I exhausted him... - Mm-hmm. 218 00:08:28,168 --> 00:08:29,327 with sex. 219 00:08:29,393 --> 00:08:31,381 Mickey, it is one thing to lie about hooking up 220 00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:32,662 with your teacher when you were in high school, 221 00:08:32,707 --> 00:08:34,679 but to do it when you're 50 is just sad. 222 00:08:34,725 --> 00:08:36,890 No, no, no. Don't do that to me. No, I... 223 00:08:36,915 --> 00:08:38,847 First of all, I'm not anywhere near fi... 224 00:08:38,869 --> 00:08:41,657 It... That doesn't matter. I had them. I had both of them, all right. 225 00:08:41,672 --> 00:08:43,175 I had Mr. Reed, I had Winston. 226 00:08:43,208 --> 00:08:44,514 - I had both of them. - Okay. 227 00:08:44,541 --> 00:08:46,338 - It's not a lie. - I'm sorry. 228 00:08:46,364 --> 00:08:48,270 - I'm not lying. I didn't lie then. Thank you. - I'm sorry. 229 00:08:48,321 --> 00:08:50,283 I don't mean to be rude, okay? I just... 230 00:08:50,323 --> 00:08:52,625 I can't picture Mr. Reed slumming it 231 00:08:52,650 --> 00:08:54,084 with some leather-skinned drifter. 232 00:08:54,786 --> 00:08:56,159 How is that not rude? 233 00:08:56,331 --> 00:08:57,714 'Cause it's accurate. 234 00:08:58,771 --> 00:08:59,965 You know what? 235 00:09:00,090 --> 00:09:01,989 (LAUGHING): This is fine. 236 00:09:02,044 --> 00:09:04,352 It's no big deal. I'll just have to prove it to you. 237 00:09:04,570 --> 00:09:06,064 I look forward to that. 238 00:09:10,359 --> 00:09:11,437 Hey, man. 239 00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:13,129 What happened to your eye? 240 00:09:13,190 --> 00:09:14,639 It's nothing, don't worry about it. 241 00:09:15,038 --> 00:09:18,251 Whatever, he probably got beat up by his fine-ass sister. 242 00:09:19,303 --> 00:09:22,067 A... all right, all right. I... I... I'll tell you what happened. 243 00:09:22,423 --> 00:09:24,989 I was chillin' down at Marucci's Pizza, 244 00:09:25,050 --> 00:09:26,666 and I was in line for a slice 245 00:09:26,686 --> 00:09:30,016 when these three goons from South Greenwich cut me in line, 246 00:09:30,031 --> 00:09:32,303 so normally, I'm a helluva laid back guy. 247 00:09:32,428 --> 00:09:35,027 Okay, but there's only one slice of 'roni left, and 'roni... 248 00:09:35,152 --> 00:09:36,487 that's my favorite topping. 249 00:09:37,447 --> 00:09:39,476 So I tell the guy, I was like, "Yo, there's a line." 250 00:09:39,532 --> 00:09:41,930 And he goes, "Oh. You want to do something about it?" 251 00:09:42,055 --> 00:09:44,105 And I was like, "Yeah. I thought you'd never ask." 252 00:09:44,230 --> 00:09:47,206 Long story short, he pops me in the eye, I don't feel a thing. 253 00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:49,507 So I say to the guy behind the counter, I was like, "Yo, bro, 254 00:09:49,540 --> 00:09:51,509 let me get that last slice of pepperoni pizza to go. 255 00:09:51,541 --> 00:09:53,229 My friend here will take a body bag." 256 00:09:53,265 --> 00:09:55,558 - Wham! - Whoa. 257 00:09:56,046 --> 00:09:57,631 Roundhouse kick right to the face. 258 00:09:57,657 --> 00:09:59,202 You're gnarly for real, bro. 259 00:09:59,273 --> 00:10:02,629 Yeah. I didn't stick around long enough to see if he actually died, but 260 00:10:02,710 --> 00:10:04,767 I haven't heard anything, so I guess I'm good. 261 00:10:04,779 --> 00:10:06,954 Damn. I... I didn't know you were into beating ass. 262 00:10:07,011 --> 00:10:08,993 There's a lot of stuff people don't know about me. 263 00:10:09,118 --> 00:10:10,447 I'm mad mysterious. 264 00:10:13,062 --> 00:10:15,032 - STUDENT: Whoa. - (INDISTINCT TALKING) 265 00:10:15,762 --> 00:10:17,673 Inhale. (INHALES) 266 00:10:17,730 --> 00:10:19,776 Take all the thoughts in your mind, 267 00:10:19,857 --> 00:10:22,378 place them in an imaginary backpack. 268 00:10:22,393 --> 00:10:24,537 Or messenger bag, if you prefer. 269 00:10:24,662 --> 00:10:26,946 Now, take the bag of your choice, 270 00:10:26,978 --> 00:10:28,821 and embrace its weight. 271 00:10:28,842 --> 00:10:30,788 - I've got something you can embrace. - (GASPS) Hey, hi. 272 00:10:30,815 --> 00:10:32,298 What are you, what are you doing here? 273 00:10:32,344 --> 00:10:34,672 - Just came to see my boo. Hi. - Hi. Hi. 274 00:10:34,698 --> 00:10:36,345 - Miss us. Oh. - (GASPS) No, don't... don't do that. 275 00:10:36,401 --> 00:10:38,460 - Uh, you need to leave. This is very inappropriate. - Mmm. 276 00:10:38,488 --> 00:10:41,317 Oh, yeah, will do, magic man. No, just real quick, I just wa... 277 00:10:41,357 --> 00:10:43,895 H... h... h... hold on a second, where... where's Sabrina? 278 00:10:43,927 --> 00:10:45,230 I thought she was in this class. 279 00:10:45,266 --> 00:10:48,127 - Sabrina Pemberton? You know her? - Yeah, I'm her aunt. 280 00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:49,875 I really wanted her to hear this next part, though. 281 00:10:49,890 --> 00:10:51,898 - Can I talk to you outside? Thanks. - Uh-huh. 282 00:10:51,954 --> 00:10:53,631 Could've sworn that she would've been in there. 283 00:10:53,661 --> 00:10:55,165 Well, hey, do you know where she is? 284 00:10:55,185 --> 00:10:57,071 'Cause maybe you could walk me to the class? Is that dumb? 285 00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:59,120 That's crazy. I'm sorry, that's crazy. (LAUGHS) 286 00:10:59,140 --> 00:11:02,021 Oh... Come over for dinner tonight. 287 00:11:02,146 --> 00:11:04,382 Yes. She'll be there, that's where she can see us together. 288 00:11:04,387 --> 00:11:06,740 Okay, what do you like to eat? You like, uh, pizza? 289 00:11:06,756 --> 00:11:08,377 No. Look, last night... 290 00:11:09,226 --> 00:11:10,324 was a mistake. 291 00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:12,072 Okay, well, hold on. 292 00:11:12,270 --> 00:11:13,459 I know that. 293 00:11:13,657 --> 00:11:15,808 A mistake, are you kidding me? I was gonna tell you that. 294 00:11:15,864 --> 00:11:17,795 Look, if I'd known that you were a parent at this school, 295 00:11:17,829 --> 00:11:19,497 I would have never slept with you. 296 00:11:19,530 --> 00:11:21,318 Well, that's rich coming from a man 297 00:11:21,331 --> 00:11:23,732 - with a harem of young girls. - I have to go. 298 00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,571 - (SCHOOL BELL RINGS) - All right. Well, h... hold on a second. Hey. 299 00:11:26,044 --> 00:11:27,273 Do the right thing. 300 00:11:27,637 --> 00:11:28,839 (INDISTINCT CHATTER NEARBY) 301 00:11:29,306 --> 00:11:31,045 JIMMY: Yo. There's the man. 302 00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:33,722 - How'd I do? - Uh, frickin' amazing. 303 00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:36,155 - Yeah. Still got it. - Ben, I want to thank you. 304 00:11:36,181 --> 00:11:38,925 This black eye is the greatest gift I've ever been given. 305 00:11:38,952 --> 00:11:40,726 - Really? - Big time. 306 00:11:40,779 --> 00:11:43,320 You're looking at the second hottest dude in eighth grade. 307 00:11:43,853 --> 00:11:45,156 Wow. 308 00:11:45,189 --> 00:11:46,745 It works. 309 00:11:48,626 --> 00:11:50,428 Hey. Second? 310 00:11:50,772 --> 00:11:52,162 As in number two? 311 00:11:52,195 --> 00:11:53,344 Believe it. 312 00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,799 Okay, the only way you go from 42 to two 313 00:11:55,835 --> 00:11:58,802 is if some guy goes in there and mows down 40 other kids. 314 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,108 What'd you do? 315 00:12:00,233 --> 00:12:02,223 Nothing. Some kid was dogging on me, 316 00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,236 so I told him I tuned up some public school kids. (LAUGHS) 317 00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:06,706 Oh, my God, you fool. I told you to keep it vague. 318 00:12:06,747 --> 00:12:09,420 Sorry if I took your advice and made it a frick-ton better. 319 00:12:09,430 --> 00:12:10,694 Nah, you don't get it, man. 320 00:12:10,726 --> 00:12:12,568 Now you're a fighter, and that's very specific. 321 00:12:12,583 --> 00:12:14,404 You're gonna walk around with a target on your back. 322 00:12:14,436 --> 00:12:17,174 Yeah? Well, heavy lies the crown. 323 00:12:18,064 --> 00:12:19,538 (GRUNTS) 324 00:12:19,563 --> 00:12:22,251 G-give me ba-back my b-binder. 325 00:12:22,289 --> 00:12:23,908 "B-B-Binder." What? 326 00:12:23,972 --> 00:12:26,631 I can't understand you. Speak English. 327 00:12:27,586 --> 00:12:29,433 Can I help you? 328 00:12:31,436 --> 00:12:34,671 - (SIGHS) - KIDS: Whoa. 329 00:12:34,704 --> 00:12:36,108 You're welcome. 330 00:12:38,127 --> 00:12:39,659 ♪ My mind is soft ♪ 331 00:12:39,722 --> 00:12:41,647 - Ow. - ♪ I never owe ♪ 332 00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:43,046 ♪ Nobody else ♪ 333 00:12:43,058 --> 00:12:46,098 - ♪ I never owe nobody else ♪ - There you go. 334 00:12:46,372 --> 00:12:48,052 ♪ But you ♪ 335 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:50,921 ♪ ♪ 336 00:12:50,954 --> 00:12:53,090 ♪ My mind is soft ♪ 337 00:12:56,315 --> 00:12:59,949 - (GRUNTS) - ♪ I never owe nobody else ♪ 338 00:12:59,968 --> 00:13:02,980 ♪ I never owe nobody else ♪ 339 00:13:04,620 --> 00:13:08,159 - ♪ Do you want come my way? ♪ - (GRUNTS) 340 00:13:08,210 --> 00:13:11,285 ♪ Did you want to come and miss my mind here? ♪ 341 00:13:11,304 --> 00:13:14,582 ♪ Do you want to come and miss my mind here? ♪ 342 00:13:14,652 --> 00:13:17,652 - (GRUNTS) - BEN: You'll thank me later. 343 00:13:17,777 --> 00:13:19,232 (DOOR CLOSES) 344 00:13:19,271 --> 00:13:21,479 What is wrong with you? Are you insane? 345 00:13:21,503 --> 00:13:26,613 Oh. I guess Brian informed you about our little poetry slam sesh? 346 00:13:26,623 --> 00:13:29,802 My friends told me that you stormed into his classroom like a lunatic. 347 00:13:30,158 --> 00:13:32,489 - Wait, but he didn't say anything? - No, of course not, 348 00:13:32,502 --> 00:13:35,146 - because nothing happened. - Okay, now I'm pissed off. 349 00:13:35,209 --> 00:13:37,401 I feel like I'm back in the janitor's closet, and everyone's... 350 00:13:37,605 --> 00:13:39,803 Sabrina, I am not lying. 351 00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:42,906 Sabrina, shame on you, okay? 352 00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:44,708 Women need to believe each other. 353 00:13:44,747 --> 00:13:47,421 I know that when I hooked up with Edward Olmos, Jr... 354 00:13:47,445 --> 00:13:49,753 It's Edward James Olmos. I... it... it... that doesn't matter. 355 00:13:49,791 --> 00:13:51,449 It didn't happen. Stop saying that. 356 00:13:51,474 --> 00:13:52,707 Well, looked just like him. 357 00:13:52,739 --> 00:13:55,242 So just some old man with bad skin? My thing happened. 358 00:13:55,254 --> 00:13:57,637 Just stay away from Brian, okay? He's mine. 359 00:13:57,681 --> 00:13:59,276 (LAUGHING): Oh. 360 00:13:59,301 --> 00:14:01,449 Okay. Okay. 361 00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,197 So this guy wants it to look like I'm crazy. 362 00:14:03,241 --> 00:14:05,738 Sure, no problem. I do a great crazy. 363 00:14:06,097 --> 00:14:08,100 (TIRES SQUEALING) 364 00:14:15,540 --> 00:14:16,749 It's Mickey! 365 00:14:16,874 --> 00:14:18,522 Can we talk for just a sec? 366 00:14:20,448 --> 00:14:22,012 H... hey! 367 00:14:22,046 --> 00:14:25,249 I saw that. Open this door, right now. 368 00:14:25,555 --> 00:14:26,914 (DOOR CLOSING) 369 00:14:27,039 --> 00:14:30,694 (GASPS) Oh, you think you can hide from me? 370 00:14:30,750 --> 00:14:33,450 Well, I've got news for you: you can't. 371 00:14:33,704 --> 00:14:35,959 And... and one more piece of news: 372 00:14:35,993 --> 00:14:39,352 - I will hunt you down! - Ma'am, I don't think he's home. 373 00:14:39,390 --> 00:14:41,392 Oh, he's home. He is home. 374 00:14:41,398 --> 00:14:44,512 - I am not crazy! - I can give him a message for you. 375 00:14:44,512 --> 00:14:47,104 I'll give him a message. 376 00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:49,141 ♪ ♪ 377 00:14:52,243 --> 00:14:54,012 (TIRES SQUEALING) 378 00:15:06,101 --> 00:15:08,532 There you are, bro. I've been looking everywhere for you. 379 00:15:08,555 --> 00:15:11,240 Oh, yeah? Well, I've been in the gym. Getting swole. 380 00:15:11,288 --> 00:15:12,501 - (CHUCKLES) - We got to roll. Now. 381 00:15:12,533 --> 00:15:13,994 - Where we going? - Parking lot. 382 00:15:14,033 --> 00:15:16,085 Some dudes from South Greenwich heard you were talking smack. 383 00:15:16,091 --> 00:15:17,388 They want to fight you. 384 00:15:17,648 --> 00:15:20,246 Th... they want to fight me? How many are there? 385 00:15:20,290 --> 00:15:22,514 I don't know, like six. 386 00:15:22,639 --> 00:15:24,242 You can handle that, though, right? 387 00:15:25,029 --> 00:15:27,760 Y... yeah. (SCOFFS) T... totally. Six? 388 00:15:27,768 --> 00:15:29,174 Wish there were seven. 389 00:15:29,222 --> 00:15:31,898 I have this thing where I have to beat people in odd numbers, so... 390 00:15:31,937 --> 00:15:33,542 Let's go. 391 00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:37,337 You wanted to... Ugh. 392 00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,379 Uh, Mr. Reed, please have a seat. 393 00:15:39,427 --> 00:15:41,071 (SIGHS) 394 00:15:41,196 --> 00:15:44,923 - Look, I don't know what she told you... - He said have a seat, Brian. 395 00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:50,997 Ms. Molng here has just been sharing some troubling accusations. 396 00:15:51,122 --> 00:15:55,016 Uh, she claims that you engaged in... 397 00:15:55,508 --> 00:15:57,359 That there was a... 398 00:15:57,780 --> 00:16:00,610 Sex. "Sex" is the word you're looking for. 399 00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:02,034 Plus all the dirty lead-up stuff. 400 00:16:02,053 --> 00:16:03,952 - He does this thing with your ears. It's... - Tha... that's... 401 00:16:04,022 --> 00:16:06,913 - I... I don't need details. - It just goes on for too long. 402 00:16:06,938 --> 00:16:09,658 - That's all I was gonna say. - Mr. Reed, is this true? 403 00:16:09,783 --> 00:16:14,951 Did you engage in a sexual relationship with Ms. Molng? 404 00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:18,585 - Yes. - (GRUNTS) 405 00:16:18,604 --> 00:16:21,234 - I mean, technically it's true. - Finally. 406 00:16:21,359 --> 00:16:22,893 Finally, he admits it. 407 00:16:23,018 --> 00:16:26,032 - This is so embarrassing. - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 408 00:16:26,051 --> 00:16:28,853 Do not do that. I am the one who is embarrassed, all right? 409 00:16:28,872 --> 00:16:30,137 Ashamed, even. 410 00:16:30,175 --> 00:16:32,856 Obviously, this is a problem, Brian. 411 00:16:32,888 --> 00:16:34,299 Well, I didn't know who she was. 412 00:16:34,350 --> 00:16:36,185 I was at my other job, she approached me, 413 00:16:36,211 --> 00:16:38,562 we started talking, it just happened. 414 00:16:38,886 --> 00:16:40,988 Wait, you didn't know she was a Lockwood parent? 415 00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:42,481 No, of course not. 416 00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:45,112 And none of this happened on school property? 417 00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:47,247 No, she targeted me at work. 418 00:16:47,285 --> 00:16:50,551 Wha... Well, I'm not sure that any of this is illegal. 419 00:16:50,557 --> 00:16:52,659 Okay, I'll give you that. That... that... that, technically, 420 00:16:52,666 --> 00:16:54,172 that was all by the book. 421 00:16:54,297 --> 00:16:56,288 But this man is a predator 422 00:16:56,301 --> 00:16:57,495 - Wh... ? - And also, 423 00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,233 he will not admit to Sabrina that we had sex. 424 00:17:00,259 --> 00:17:02,659 Uh, nor should he. I... I'm on his side there. 425 00:17:02,691 --> 00:17:04,552 You know what? In fact, Brian, 426 00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:05,874 you are free to go. 427 00:17:05,874 --> 00:17:08,181 - Thank you. - What?! Oh, sure. 428 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,940 Yeah, yeah. Course he's free to go. 429 00:17:09,965 --> 00:17:11,605 'Cause this whole education system is just 430 00:17:11,635 --> 00:17:13,625 - one big boys club, isn't it? - Well, actually, 431 00:17:13,655 --> 00:17:16,390 76% of teachers in America are female, so you're... 432 00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:18,713 Oh, thank you for mansplaining that for me, Gibbons. 433 00:17:18,743 --> 00:17:21,396 Guess what? I will not be bullied into silence. 434 00:17:21,407 --> 00:17:23,355 You know, uh, speaking of bullying, 435 00:17:23,358 --> 00:17:25,595 we need to have a small chat about Ben. 436 00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:28,085 He has been physically assaulting students 437 00:17:28,117 --> 00:17:29,793 that he has deemed... 438 00:17:30,464 --> 00:17:32,930 - "losers." - Doesn't sound like my Ben. 439 00:17:32,996 --> 00:17:35,677 Well, maybe you don't know your Ben as well as you think you do. 440 00:17:35,733 --> 00:17:38,137 The good news is that he wants to make it right, 441 00:17:38,152 --> 00:17:41,135 so he has volunteered to read an anti-bullying poem 442 00:17:41,164 --> 00:17:43,184 in our school's Arts Fest. 443 00:17:43,255 --> 00:17:45,756 Great. Perfect punishment. Poems suck. 444 00:17:45,881 --> 00:17:48,138 - (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING) - (BOYS SNICKERING) 445 00:17:50,031 --> 00:17:51,510 'Sup, 48? 446 00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:53,436 Hey, nice belt buckle. 447 00:17:54,243 --> 00:17:55,576 All right, screw this. 448 00:17:55,779 --> 00:17:57,079 (APPLAUSE) 449 00:17:57,112 --> 00:17:59,037 GIBBONS: Thank you, thank you, girls. 450 00:17:59,042 --> 00:18:00,492 Thank you so very much. 451 00:18:00,617 --> 00:18:01,952 (CHUCKLES) 452 00:18:01,984 --> 00:18:05,187 Up next, we have one of our youngest poets, 453 00:18:05,202 --> 00:18:08,393 Ben Pemberton, who will be reciting a poem 454 00:18:08,417 --> 00:18:10,768 about the dangers of bullying. 455 00:18:11,293 --> 00:18:13,296 (SCATTERED APPLAUSE) 456 00:18:15,556 --> 00:18:18,314 "Black Eyes" by Ben Pemberton. 457 00:18:18,439 --> 00:18:21,408 "Black eyes are cool, black eyes rule, 458 00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:23,835 but black eyes don't belong at our school. 459 00:18:23,867 --> 00:18:27,278 Black eyes look scary, but black eyes are fun. 460 00:18:27,329 --> 00:18:29,235 I really wish that I could have one." 461 00:18:29,279 --> 00:18:31,561 Okay, thank you. Thank you, Ben. Thank you. 462 00:18:31,599 --> 00:18:34,497 For your poem on... on why black eyes 463 00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:37,534 are bad. Black eyes was the... 464 00:18:37,559 --> 00:18:38,788 (CLEARS THROAT) 465 00:18:38,821 --> 00:18:42,108 Next up, uh, Ben's older sister, Sabrina. 466 00:18:42,127 --> 00:18:43,311 (SCATTERED APPLAUSE) 467 00:18:43,321 --> 00:18:45,576 Thank you for helping me recognize my gift. 468 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:47,571 I wrote this for you. 469 00:18:48,031 --> 00:18:49,909 Oh, uh... thank you. 470 00:18:49,922 --> 00:18:51,294 Good luck. 471 00:18:53,736 --> 00:18:55,705 (CLEARS THROAT) 472 00:18:55,739 --> 00:18:58,519 "Baggage" by Sabrina Pemberton. 473 00:18:59,587 --> 00:19:01,118 "I am a handbag. 474 00:19:01,243 --> 00:19:03,513 Empty. Expensive. 475 00:19:03,547 --> 00:19:05,516 Carried places I don't want to go. 476 00:19:05,549 --> 00:19:07,051 But then you came, 477 00:19:07,248 --> 00:19:10,027 and rifled through my pockets like a gentle thief. 478 00:19:10,669 --> 00:19:13,390 Now I'm ready. Unzip me. 479 00:19:13,423 --> 00:19:16,768 - Place things inside me." - I had sex with Mr. Reed. 480 00:19:16,796 --> 00:19:18,529 Ah, nah. That's right. 481 00:19:18,561 --> 00:19:21,300 This creep not only teaches girls how to write terrible poetry, 482 00:19:21,325 --> 00:19:23,855 he also lies to their faces about sleeping with their aunt. 483 00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,659 But I got the receipts. 484 00:19:26,015 --> 00:19:27,870 I will hunt you down! 485 00:19:28,092 --> 00:19:29,903 - WOMAN: I don't think he's home. - Whoops, hold on. One... 486 00:19:29,903 --> 00:19:31,046 Give me one sec. That's, uh, wrong part. 487 00:19:31,073 --> 00:19:32,724 MICKEY: He is home. I am not crazy! 488 00:19:32,762 --> 00:19:34,648 Well... (CHUCKLES) He was home 489 00:19:34,667 --> 00:19:36,345 throughout this entire exchange, mind you. 490 00:19:36,378 --> 00:19:37,780 - Okay, the... No, no, they... - No, no, no, I'm... 491 00:19:37,847 --> 00:19:40,359 - That's good enough. I think... - Hey, hey, hey! Stop. Hey. Stop. 492 00:19:40,378 --> 00:19:41,986 I'll be done in a second. Just give me... 493 00:19:42,018 --> 00:19:43,100 You guys just hang in there for one... 494 00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:44,696 It's right here. It's right here. 495 00:19:44,742 --> 00:19:46,731 GIBBONS: Mr. Reed, did you engage 496 00:19:46,744 --> 00:19:49,458 in a sexual relationship with Ms. Molng? 497 00:19:50,698 --> 00:19:51,648 REED: Yes. 498 00:19:51,659 --> 00:19:54,093 - (CROWD GASPS) - Yes. Yes. 499 00:19:54,856 --> 00:19:57,244 Are you serious? You actually slept with her? 500 00:19:57,466 --> 00:20:00,044 I thought you were just waiting till I graduated to make a move. 501 00:20:00,235 --> 00:20:01,604 We had something. 502 00:20:01,729 --> 00:20:03,848 I just wanted to teach you some poetry. 503 00:20:03,973 --> 00:20:05,843 - Ugh. - If there are any other victims, 504 00:20:05,889 --> 00:20:08,110 please come forward and hold hands. 505 00:20:08,144 --> 00:20:10,454 - We are stronger together. - No... 506 00:20:15,117 --> 00:20:17,120 (SCATTERED GASPS, CHUCKLING) 507 00:20:20,771 --> 00:20:22,088 CHIP: Oh, no, no, no. 508 00:20:22,118 --> 00:20:24,226 I didn't... I didn't sleep with that guy. No. 509 00:20:24,260 --> 00:20:26,937 The... the handspring is separate from that. 510 00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,903 49? That makes no sense. 511 00:20:34,028 --> 00:20:35,684 Makes perfect sense. 512 00:20:36,106 --> 00:20:38,809 Even Aaron Luber is higher than me, and he eats bugs. 513 00:20:38,860 --> 00:20:40,406 Okay, how do I explain this to you? 514 00:20:40,482 --> 00:20:42,256 Doing a handspring in the Olympics, 515 00:20:42,256 --> 00:20:44,615 or to escape danger, is cool. 516 00:20:44,648 --> 00:20:48,264 But just doing it out of nowhere, unannounced? Not cool. 517 00:20:48,318 --> 00:20:50,256 But I stuck the landing perfectly. 518 00:20:50,286 --> 00:20:51,811 Yeah, that's the worst part, man. 519 00:20:51,832 --> 00:20:54,759 Maybe if you'd biffed the landing and eaten your teeth, it'd be funny. 520 00:20:54,884 --> 00:20:57,126 But instead you did it with perfect precision? 521 00:20:57,354 --> 00:20:58,503 That's weird. 522 00:20:58,940 --> 00:21:00,129 I don't get it. 523 00:21:00,162 --> 00:21:01,631 Yeah, you probably never will. 524 00:21:01,842 --> 00:21:04,508 Maybe if you write a poem it will make you cool again. 525 00:21:04,532 --> 00:21:07,111 - I wouldn't recommend it. - Yeah, poetry's not in our blood. 526 00:21:07,174 --> 00:21:09,606 I see that now. Plus, there's no real future in it. 527 00:21:09,639 --> 00:21:12,164 - Wha... I thought Mr. Reed said... - Mr. Reed's an idiot. 528 00:21:12,289 --> 00:21:13,584 His credibility went out the window 529 00:21:13,584 --> 00:21:15,525 the second I realized he wasn't trying to bang me. 530 00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:16,633 Plus, he resigned. 531 00:21:16,674 --> 00:21:18,804 I'm not gonna take advice from some coffee jockey. 532 00:21:19,576 --> 00:21:21,995 Boom. Read it and weep. 533 00:21:22,067 --> 00:21:24,069 According to this restraining order, 534 00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:26,630 I can't come within a thousand yards of Mr. Reed 535 00:21:26,656 --> 00:21:29,791 because of emotional distress due to, and I quote, 536 00:21:29,860 --> 00:21:33,431 "deeply regrettable sexual intercourse." Huh? 537 00:21:33,451 --> 00:21:36,966 It's on the record, okay? So who's crazy now? 538 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,941 - (JIMMY CHUCKLES) - Way to go, Mick. 539 00:21:38,987 --> 00:21:40,343 That's my girl. 540 00:21:41,690 --> 00:21:42,701 Wait, what? 541 00:21:42,826 --> 00:21:44,561 - Synced and corrected by chamallow - - www.MY-SUBS.com - 542 00:21:44,602 --> 00:21:45,603 SABRINA: Unzip me.