00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
Translated By The Community Of WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
1
00:00:22,788 --> 00:00:24,290
Get a load of this loser.
2
00:00:24,322 --> 00:00:26,182
ALBA: Yeah, looks like
a barista or something.
3
00:00:26,182 --> 00:00:28,518
- Probably writes poetry.
- (SCOFFS)
4
00:00:29,964 --> 00:00:31,590
Is that your boyfriend?
5
00:00:31,596 --> 00:00:34,081
No, that's not my boyfriend.
It's my poetry teacher, Mr. Reed.
6
00:00:34,087 --> 00:00:35,892
- What?! Are you serious?
- Nailed it.
7
00:00:35,924 --> 00:00:37,367
What are you two so happy about?
8
00:00:37,373 --> 00:00:38,408
Don't worry about it.
9
00:00:38,434 --> 00:00:39,577
Don't you think it's a little bit late
10
00:00:39,582 --> 00:00:41,417
to be getting a ride
home from your teacher?
11
00:00:41,443 --> 00:00:43,542
I was at an open mike night
at the coffee shop he works at.
12
00:00:43,573 --> 00:00:45,754
- What?!
- (GASPS) Two times! Two times!
13
00:00:45,774 --> 00:00:46,964
- You're good.
- What is happening?
14
00:00:46,979 --> 00:00:49,265
Eh, nothing. Just that
we are psychic as balls.
15
00:00:49,291 --> 00:00:51,755
Mm-hmm. And as a psychic
person, I will have you know
16
00:00:51,781 --> 00:00:53,737
it's never a good idea to
have sex with your teacher.
17
00:00:53,773 --> 00:00:55,974
- I'm not sleeping with him.
- Good.
18
00:00:56,019 --> 00:00:58,078
- Yet.
- Wha... ? Oh, come on.
19
00:00:58,343 --> 00:01:00,325
Sabrina, I always knew you were dumb,
20
00:01:00,356 --> 00:01:02,399
but I didn't realize you
were a walking cliché.
21
00:01:02,450 --> 00:01:05,286
I thought you liked the pretty
morons with the cheese-grater abs.
22
00:01:05,307 --> 00:01:07,924
Yeah, I did, when I was
younger. But I'm a woman now.
23
00:01:07,939 --> 00:01:10,181
I can grate cheese on Brian's brains.
24
00:01:10,547 --> 00:01:12,864
Brian sounds like a real child molester.
25
00:01:12,879 --> 00:01:15,095
Why? Because he thinks
I have a real future?
26
00:01:15,110 --> 00:01:16,798
- In poetry?
- Sure.
27
00:01:16,849 --> 00:01:18,263
Or maybe as a singer/songwriter,
28
00:01:18,268 --> 00:01:20,041
if I ever decide to
put my words to music.
29
00:01:20,166 --> 00:01:22,888
You can't sing. Or write songs.
30
00:01:23,102 --> 00:01:25,527
Come on, open your eyes, this
guy just wants to bang you.
31
00:01:25,557 --> 00:01:26,950
Oh, really? Then why
does he want me to read
32
00:01:26,955 --> 00:01:28,785
my poetry at the school's Art Fest?
33
00:01:28,815 --> 00:01:30,955
Uh, because he wants to bang you.
34
00:01:30,960 --> 00:01:32,221
BEN: I like poetry.
35
00:01:32,261 --> 00:01:35,097
- Boat, coat, moat.
- Yeah, careful, Ben,
36
00:01:35,112 --> 00:01:36,632
she might fall in love with you, too.
37
00:01:36,647 --> 00:01:39,082
Listen, I had a fling in high
school with a faculty member,
38
00:01:39,082 --> 00:01:40,486
and it was a big mistake.
39
00:01:40,526 --> 00:01:42,020
You slept with a teacher? Sweet.
40
00:01:42,050 --> 00:01:43,758
No, it was not sweet.
And it wasn't a teacher.
41
00:01:43,784 --> 00:01:45,329
It was just this guy
who worked at the school.
42
00:01:45,344 --> 00:01:46,706
Mm-hmm. Like a janitor?
43
00:01:46,772 --> 00:01:48,327
No, not like a janitor.
44
00:01:48,774 --> 00:01:50,167
He was head of maintenance.
45
00:01:50,192 --> 00:01:51,824
So King Janitor.
46
00:01:51,949 --> 00:01:54,340
All that matters is that
it was very traumatic.
47
00:01:54,386 --> 00:01:56,907
Once he got what he wanted
from me, he just blew me off.
48
00:01:57,032 --> 00:01:58,722
And when I tried to
confront him about it,
49
00:01:58,752 --> 00:02:01,127
he... he just acted like
nothing ever happened, you know?
50
00:02:01,152 --> 00:02:03,673
Like I was just this crazy psycho
who dreamt the whole thing up.
51
00:02:03,719 --> 00:02:05,056
And nobody believed me.
52
00:02:05,128 --> 00:02:06,952
They all trusted the janitor, huh?
53
00:02:07,638 --> 00:02:10,073
At least the janitor drove a car.
54
00:02:11,870 --> 00:02:13,506
(THUDDING)
55
00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:19,075
Whoa. What's going on?
56
00:02:19,711 --> 00:02:21,875
I'm trying to stick the frickin'
landing on the frickin' handspring.
57
00:02:21,890 --> 00:02:23,922
- You got to bend your knees.
- I freaking know that!
58
00:02:23,938 --> 00:02:26,292
Okay, hey, don't snap at me, all right?
59
00:02:27,232 --> 00:02:28,621
Talk to me.
60
00:02:30,750 --> 00:02:31,969
Let me in.
61
00:02:34,718 --> 00:02:35,750
Okay, well...
62
00:02:36,695 --> 00:02:38,795
they published the
eighth grade Hot List,
63
00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:40,502
and I came in at number 42.
64
00:02:40,543 --> 00:02:42,667
- Oh, that's not so bad.
- Out of 50.
65
00:02:42,701 --> 00:02:44,237
Oh. That stings.
66
00:02:45,362 --> 00:02:46,415
God, you know, when I was a kid,
67
00:02:46,445 --> 00:02:48,712
they used to tack that
thing to the bulletin board.
68
00:02:49,154 --> 00:02:50,541
I was always top five.
69
00:02:50,666 --> 00:02:51,756
One time I got strep throat,
70
00:02:51,781 --> 00:02:53,793
they had to send everyone
home on antibiotics.
71
00:02:53,829 --> 00:02:55,822
I don't get it. I've tried everything.
72
00:02:55,837 --> 00:02:57,595
My hair is bigger than it's ever been.
73
00:02:57,626 --> 00:02:59,471
I paid for everyone's lunches last week.
74
00:02:59,481 --> 00:03:01,310
I spent a fortune on this belt buckle.
75
00:03:01,356 --> 00:03:03,577
I figured this handspring
would really turn things around.
76
00:03:04,609 --> 00:03:06,520
Give me 200 bucks...
I'll fix your problem.
77
00:03:07,714 --> 00:03:09,621
- You can get me to number one?
- Yeah.
78
00:03:09,641 --> 00:03:11,415
Well, I mean, right after
I cure genital herpes
79
00:03:11,430 --> 00:03:12,879
and fix the racial divide in America.
80
00:03:12,909 --> 00:03:14,917
No, I am not a miracle worker, Chip.
81
00:03:15,232 --> 00:03:16,955
But I can get you in the top 20.
82
00:03:18,719 --> 00:03:19,807
Okay, fine.
83
00:03:20,076 --> 00:03:21,317
What do I got to do?
84
00:03:23,081 --> 00:03:24,316
You get some beauty sleep
85
00:03:24,351 --> 00:03:26,532
and enjoy your final
night of being uncool.
86
00:03:26,715 --> 00:03:29,755
YOUNG WOMAN: "I got up from
the floor, and I took a walk.
87
00:03:30,110 --> 00:03:32,483
"As I reached the top of the bridge,
88
00:03:32,608 --> 00:03:34,064
my feet trembled.
89
00:03:34,277 --> 00:03:38,226
I realized just how
easily I could jump."
90
00:03:38,846 --> 00:03:40,711
- (SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
- Do it. Jump already.
91
00:03:40,788 --> 00:03:42,257
- Don't heckle the poets.
- Oh.
92
00:03:42,262 --> 00:03:43,583
Got to keep a low profile.
93
00:03:43,649 --> 00:03:46,140
I'm trying to assess how
big of a threat Mr. Reed is.
94
00:03:47,217 --> 00:03:48,768
MICKEY: Oh, yep. There he is,
95
00:03:48,773 --> 00:03:50,130
surrounded by all of his groupies.
96
00:03:50,160 --> 00:03:52,509
Ah, probably deciding
which one he wants...
97
00:03:52,575 --> 00:03:53,972
to kill.
98
00:03:54,405 --> 00:03:56,483
I don't think poets are
going around killing people.
99
00:03:56,534 --> 00:03:58,029
Yeah? What about Che Guevara?
100
00:03:58,380 --> 00:04:00,499
I don't know what that means. Shh.
101
00:04:00,624 --> 00:04:02,233
"Wind passes.
102
00:04:02,467 --> 00:04:04,886
The glowering sun emerges,
103
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:07,305
and with it a new day."
104
00:04:07,733 --> 00:04:09,252
(SIGHS)
105
00:04:09,532 --> 00:04:10,660
I'm sorry.
106
00:04:11,413 --> 00:04:13,476
Just with all the pain in the world...
107
00:04:13,933 --> 00:04:16,677
it feels more appropriate to
speak from the heart, off the cuff.
108
00:04:16,802 --> 00:04:18,207
- Ew, gross.
- Yeah.
109
00:04:19,097 --> 00:04:20,993
When I close my eyes,
110
00:04:21,118 --> 00:04:23,392
I see our land in flames.
111
00:04:23,682 --> 00:04:26,553
And I ask myself, who do we blame?
112
00:04:26,817 --> 00:04:30,297
Do we blame the old beggar
with the crumbs in his beard?
113
00:04:30,297 --> 00:04:31,990
Or do you not see him?
114
00:04:32,023 --> 00:04:34,059
- Do you wish...
- Is he gonna say "disappear"?
115
00:04:34,092 --> 00:04:35,513
... he'd disappear?
116
00:04:35,532 --> 00:04:36,860
- Get out of here.
- Wha... ?
117
00:04:36,927 --> 00:04:39,243
- Did you know that one?
- What the hell was that? No.
118
00:04:39,275 --> 00:04:40,806
It wasn't... that wasn't off the cuff.
119
00:04:40,850 --> 00:04:43,035
- It rhymed. It was a poem.
- (GASPS QUIETLY)
120
00:04:44,981 --> 00:04:47,471
(GASPS) Did he just tickle her?
121
00:04:47,484 --> 00:04:49,274
He definitely did just tickle her.
122
00:04:49,306 --> 00:04:50,668
We caught a predator.
123
00:04:50,706 --> 00:04:52,658
I'm gonna go give Dr.
Seuss a piece of my mind.
124
00:04:52,677 --> 00:04:54,289
All right. Well, I'm
gonna hang back. Oh, hey.
125
00:04:54,414 --> 00:04:55,819
Do you think they got hash here?
126
00:04:56,459 --> 00:04:57,459
What, like, on the menu?
127
00:04:57,471 --> 00:04:58,649
- Yeah.
- No.
128
00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,384
You know, it's cool. I'm
gonna ask anyway. Yeah.
129
00:05:02,406 --> 00:05:03,472
Psst.
130
00:05:07,462 --> 00:05:08,661
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
131
00:05:10,106 --> 00:05:12,364
- Ow! Aah...
- JIMMY: Oh, yeah!
132
00:05:12,397 --> 00:05:14,702
That's gonna shine up real nice.
133
00:05:14,747 --> 00:05:15,934
Wha... ?
134
00:05:16,186 --> 00:05:17,985
The hell is the matter with
you, you frickin' idiots!
135
00:05:18,003 --> 00:05:19,514
Okay, you know what,
you want to complain,
136
00:05:19,530 --> 00:05:20,582
or you want to hear the plan?
137
00:05:20,607 --> 00:05:22,981
That bruise is your ticket
to climbing The Hot List.
138
00:05:23,906 --> 00:05:26,087
- How?
- Aw, Chip.
139
00:05:26,809 --> 00:05:28,646
I look at you and I see nothing.
140
00:05:28,882 --> 00:05:30,890
You're not smart. You're not funny.
141
00:05:30,890 --> 00:05:33,873
You look like a jackass.
Okay? You got no hook.
142
00:05:33,889 --> 00:05:36,488
That black eye's gonna give
you some much-needed mystique.
143
00:05:36,613 --> 00:05:38,119
Do I have mystique?
144
00:05:38,244 --> 00:05:39,458
An assload of it.
145
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:41,418
Now, pay attention.
When you go to school
146
00:05:41,438 --> 00:05:42,546
people are gonna ask you what happened.
147
00:05:42,561 --> 00:05:44,463
You keep it vague. You
say, "Don't worry about it."
148
00:05:44,496 --> 00:05:46,348
You let the rumor mill do the work.
149
00:05:46,597 --> 00:05:48,894
Whatever they cook up
is gonna be far sexier
150
00:05:48,910 --> 00:05:51,302
than the fact you got your
ass kicked by a ten-year-old.
151
00:05:51,335 --> 00:05:53,617
- I'm seven.
- I rest my case.
152
00:05:54,608 --> 00:05:55,985
Guess it's worth a shot.
153
00:05:56,041 --> 00:05:57,154
Yeah.
154
00:05:57,159 --> 00:05:59,544
But first we're gonna need to
make that bruise a little deeper.
155
00:05:59,578 --> 00:06:00,900
Ben.
156
00:06:01,836 --> 00:06:04,027
Due cappuccino. Enjoy.
157
00:06:04,637 --> 00:06:07,087
So, you like underage
girls, is that right?
158
00:06:07,865 --> 00:06:10,121
- Excuse me?
- Oh, your little cheering section over there.
159
00:06:10,146 --> 00:06:12,784
- You like 'em young?
- Oh. My students.
160
00:06:12,909 --> 00:06:15,865
To be honest, I think they're only
here 'cause I offered them extra credit.
161
00:06:15,896 --> 00:06:17,670
Oh, I bet you did.
162
00:06:17,795 --> 00:06:19,998
What do you offer them
next, a little red wine?
163
00:06:20,227 --> 00:06:21,833
Some aged cheeses?
164
00:06:22,437 --> 00:06:23,668
I'm sorry, I don't follow.
165
00:06:23,749 --> 00:06:26,104
Let me see if you can follow
this, Mr. Tambourine Man.
166
00:06:26,136 --> 00:06:28,431
I see you. I see right through you.
167
00:06:28,461 --> 00:06:29,955
- So if you think that...
- I'm sorry to interrupt,
168
00:06:29,975 --> 00:06:33,177
but can you just tilt your head
that way, just a little bit?
169
00:06:34,697 --> 00:06:35,698
Why?
170
00:06:35,759 --> 00:06:37,683
The way the light is
bouncing off your hair,
171
00:06:37,715 --> 00:06:39,454
it looks really cool.
172
00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:44,365
Well, I just got
highlights. (NERVOUS CHUCKLE)
173
00:06:44,817 --> 00:06:45,991
I'm Brian.
174
00:06:46,723 --> 00:06:47,898
Yeah.
175
00:06:51,810 --> 00:06:54,397
- Oh, hey, where'd you go last night?
- Yeah,
176
00:06:54,641 --> 00:06:55,789
it's kind of a long story.
177
00:06:55,795 --> 00:06:57,396
(CHUCKLES): Yeah. Tell me about it.
178
00:06:57,402 --> 00:06:59,109
They didn't sell hash at that place,
179
00:06:59,145 --> 00:07:01,488
but I got to talking
to some of those poets,
180
00:07:01,524 --> 00:07:04,250
and they had hash, so we
smoked up in their van,
181
00:07:04,268 --> 00:07:05,889
and we got so faded.
182
00:07:05,909 --> 00:07:07,312
(LAUGHS): Oh, it's good.
183
00:07:07,342 --> 00:07:08,389
- That's really great.
- Mm.
184
00:07:08,430 --> 00:07:10,300
Yeah. Oh. What about you?
185
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:13,656
- Did you confront Sabrina's teacher?
- Yeah, yeah. Kind of.
186
00:07:13,727 --> 00:07:15,019
And then I banged him.
187
00:07:15,212 --> 00:07:17,778
- What?
- Yeah. Now, look, before you say anything,
188
00:07:17,839 --> 00:07:20,028
it's actually a pretty
smart parenting move, right?
189
00:07:20,049 --> 00:07:21,482
- Mm.
- She's not gonna want to go
190
00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:23,841
anywhere near that guy,
'cause I poisoned the well...
191
00:07:24,252 --> 00:07:25,830
'cause I'm the champ.
192
00:07:25,863 --> 00:07:27,332
You don't follow the champ.
193
00:07:28,309 --> 00:07:31,852
So... you had sex
with Sabrina's crush...
194
00:07:31,977 --> 00:07:33,500
- for Sabrina?
- Mm-hmm.
195
00:07:33,530 --> 00:07:35,522
She better thank me for it,
too, 'cause it was not good.
196
00:07:35,558 --> 00:07:37,459
- Oh.
- Lot of ear stuff.
197
00:07:38,048 --> 00:07:39,284
What happened to you?
198
00:07:39,309 --> 00:07:41,320
Lose your keys and have
to sleep in the yard again?
199
00:07:41,445 --> 00:07:43,990
Nope. Actually, I was with a man.
200
00:07:44,031 --> 00:07:45,616
Oh. Good for you.
201
00:07:45,649 --> 00:07:46,846
Did he have a nice tent?
202
00:07:46,913 --> 00:07:49,439
- Okay. I go do something else.
- (MICKEY CHUCKLES)
203
00:07:49,564 --> 00:07:50,913
Nope. No tent.
204
00:07:50,989 --> 00:07:53,870
Uh, just a crappy
little studio apartment.
205
00:07:53,995 --> 00:07:57,575
Actually, think you might
know this man: Mr. Brian Reed.
206
00:07:57,972 --> 00:07:59,868
(LAUGHS) Yeah, right.
207
00:08:00,666 --> 00:08:01,800
I'm sorry?
208
00:08:02,389 --> 00:08:04,219
(LAUGHING): Are you... Are you serious?
209
00:08:04,435 --> 00:08:06,971
Oh, my God, Mickey, he's
way out of your league.
210
00:08:07,406 --> 00:08:09,734
- (SCOFFS) Clearly not.
- Mr. Reed prefers smart,
211
00:08:09,749 --> 00:08:12,057
interesting women. Like me.
212
00:08:12,098 --> 00:08:13,932
Oh, believe you me, I had him.
213
00:08:14,057 --> 00:08:16,455
- I plowed him. Plowed him good.
- Mm-hmm.
214
00:08:16,473 --> 00:08:18,867
And I wouldn't be surprised
if he needs to take a sick day.
215
00:08:20,001 --> 00:08:21,470
Oh, God, what do you have?
216
00:08:22,217 --> 00:08:25,708
Nothing. No, not me.
I'm not gross or sick.
217
00:08:25,833 --> 00:08:27,645
- I... I exhausted him...
- Mm-hmm.
218
00:08:28,168 --> 00:08:29,327
with sex.
219
00:08:29,393 --> 00:08:31,381
Mickey, it is one thing
to lie about hooking up
220
00:08:31,386 --> 00:08:32,662
with your teacher when
you were in high school,
221
00:08:32,707 --> 00:08:34,679
but to do it when you're 50 is just sad.
222
00:08:34,725 --> 00:08:36,890
No, no, no. Don't do
that to me. No, I...
223
00:08:36,915 --> 00:08:38,847
First of all, I'm not
anywhere near fi...
224
00:08:38,869 --> 00:08:41,657
It... That doesn't matter. I had
them. I had both of them, all right.
225
00:08:41,672 --> 00:08:43,175
I had Mr. Reed, I had Winston.
226
00:08:43,208 --> 00:08:44,514
- I had both of them.
- Okay.
227
00:08:44,541 --> 00:08:46,338
- It's not a lie.
- I'm sorry.
228
00:08:46,364 --> 00:08:48,270
- I'm not lying. I didn't lie then. Thank you.
- I'm sorry.
229
00:08:48,321 --> 00:08:50,283
I don't mean to be rude, okay? I just...
230
00:08:50,323 --> 00:08:52,625
I can't picture Mr. Reed slumming it
231
00:08:52,650 --> 00:08:54,084
with some leather-skinned drifter.
232
00:08:54,786 --> 00:08:56,159
How is that not rude?
233
00:08:56,331 --> 00:08:57,714
'Cause it's accurate.
234
00:08:58,771 --> 00:08:59,965
You know what?
235
00:09:00,090 --> 00:09:01,989
(LAUGHING): This is fine.
236
00:09:02,044 --> 00:09:04,352
It's no big deal. I'll just
have to prove it to you.
237
00:09:04,570 --> 00:09:06,064
I look forward to that.
238
00:09:10,359 --> 00:09:11,437
Hey, man.
239
00:09:11,986 --> 00:09:13,129
What happened to your eye?
240
00:09:13,190 --> 00:09:14,639
It's nothing, don't worry about it.
241
00:09:15,038 --> 00:09:18,251
Whatever, he probably got
beat up by his fine-ass sister.
242
00:09:19,303 --> 00:09:22,067
A... all right, all right. I...
I... I'll tell you what happened.
243
00:09:22,423 --> 00:09:24,989
I was chillin' down at Marucci's Pizza,
244
00:09:25,050 --> 00:09:26,666
and I was in line for a slice
245
00:09:26,686 --> 00:09:30,016
when these three goons from
South Greenwich cut me in line,
246
00:09:30,031 --> 00:09:32,303
so normally, I'm a
helluva laid back guy.
247
00:09:32,428 --> 00:09:35,027
Okay, but there's only one
slice of 'roni left, and 'roni...
248
00:09:35,152 --> 00:09:36,487
that's my favorite topping.
249
00:09:37,447 --> 00:09:39,476
So I tell the guy, I was
like, "Yo, there's a line."
250
00:09:39,532 --> 00:09:41,930
And he goes, "Oh. You want
to do something about it?"
251
00:09:42,055 --> 00:09:44,105
And I was like, "Yeah. I
thought you'd never ask."
252
00:09:44,230 --> 00:09:47,206
Long story short, he pops me in
the eye, I don't feel a thing.
253
00:09:47,238 --> 00:09:49,507
So I say to the guy behind the
counter, I was like, "Yo, bro,
254
00:09:49,540 --> 00:09:51,509
let me get that last slice
of pepperoni pizza to go.
255
00:09:51,541 --> 00:09:53,229
My friend here will take a body bag."
256
00:09:53,265 --> 00:09:55,558
- Wham!
- Whoa.
257
00:09:56,046 --> 00:09:57,631
Roundhouse kick right to the face.
258
00:09:57,657 --> 00:09:59,202
You're gnarly for real, bro.
259
00:09:59,273 --> 00:10:02,629
Yeah. I didn't stick around long
enough to see if he actually died, but
260
00:10:02,710 --> 00:10:04,767
I haven't heard anything,
so I guess I'm good.
261
00:10:04,779 --> 00:10:06,954
Damn. I... I didn't know
you were into beating ass.
262
00:10:07,011 --> 00:10:08,993
There's a lot of stuff
people don't know about me.
263
00:10:09,118 --> 00:10:10,447
I'm mad mysterious.
264
00:10:13,062 --> 00:10:15,032
- STUDENT: Whoa.
- (INDISTINCT TALKING)
265
00:10:15,762 --> 00:10:17,673
Inhale. (INHALES)
266
00:10:17,730 --> 00:10:19,776
Take all the thoughts in your mind,
267
00:10:19,857 --> 00:10:22,378
place them in an imaginary backpack.
268
00:10:22,393 --> 00:10:24,537
Or messenger bag, if you prefer.
269
00:10:24,662 --> 00:10:26,946
Now, take the bag of your choice,
270
00:10:26,978 --> 00:10:28,821
and embrace its weight.
271
00:10:28,842 --> 00:10:30,788
- I've got something you can embrace.
- (GASPS) Hey, hi.
272
00:10:30,815 --> 00:10:32,298
What are you, what are you doing here?
273
00:10:32,344 --> 00:10:34,672
- Just came to see my boo. Hi.
- Hi. Hi.
274
00:10:34,698 --> 00:10:36,345
- Miss us. Oh.
- (GASPS) No, don't... don't do that.
275
00:10:36,401 --> 00:10:38,460
- Uh, you need to leave. This is very inappropriate.
- Mmm.
276
00:10:38,488 --> 00:10:41,317
Oh, yeah, will do, magic man.
No, just real quick, I just wa...
277
00:10:41,357 --> 00:10:43,895
H... h... h... hold on a second,
where... where's Sabrina?
278
00:10:43,927 --> 00:10:45,230
I thought she was in this class.
279
00:10:45,266 --> 00:10:48,127
- Sabrina Pemberton? You know her?
- Yeah, I'm her aunt.
280
00:10:48,147 --> 00:10:49,875
I really wanted her to
hear this next part, though.
281
00:10:49,890 --> 00:10:51,898
- Can I talk to you outside? Thanks.
- Uh-huh.
282
00:10:51,954 --> 00:10:53,631
Could've sworn that she
would've been in there.
283
00:10:53,661 --> 00:10:55,165
Well, hey, do you know where she is?
284
00:10:55,185 --> 00:10:57,071
'Cause maybe you could walk
me to the class? Is that dumb?
285
00:10:57,091 --> 00:10:59,120
That's crazy. I'm sorry,
that's crazy. (LAUGHS)
286
00:10:59,140 --> 00:11:02,021
Oh... Come over for dinner tonight.
287
00:11:02,146 --> 00:11:04,382
Yes. She'll be there, that's
where she can see us together.
288
00:11:04,387 --> 00:11:06,740
Okay, what do you like to
eat? You like, uh, pizza?
289
00:11:06,756 --> 00:11:08,377
No. Look, last night...
290
00:11:09,226 --> 00:11:10,324
was a mistake.
291
00:11:10,887 --> 00:11:12,072
Okay, well, hold on.
292
00:11:12,270 --> 00:11:13,459
I know that.
293
00:11:13,657 --> 00:11:15,808
A mistake, are you kidding
me? I was gonna tell you that.
294
00:11:15,864 --> 00:11:17,795
Look, if I'd known that you
were a parent at this school,
295
00:11:17,829 --> 00:11:19,497
I would have never slept with you.
296
00:11:19,530 --> 00:11:21,318
Well, that's rich coming from a man
297
00:11:21,331 --> 00:11:23,732
- with a harem of young girls.
- I have to go.
298
00:11:23,767 --> 00:11:25,571
- (SCHOOL BELL RINGS)
- All right. Well, h... hold on a second. Hey.
299
00:11:26,044 --> 00:11:27,273
Do the right thing.
300
00:11:27,637 --> 00:11:28,839
(INDISTINCT CHATTER NEARBY)
301
00:11:29,306 --> 00:11:31,045
JIMMY: Yo. There's the man.
302
00:11:31,060 --> 00:11:33,722
- How'd I do?
- Uh, frickin' amazing.
303
00:11:33,735 --> 00:11:36,155
- Yeah. Still got it.
- Ben, I want to thank you.
304
00:11:36,181 --> 00:11:38,925
This black eye is the greatest
gift I've ever been given.
305
00:11:38,952 --> 00:11:40,726
- Really?
- Big time.
306
00:11:40,779 --> 00:11:43,320
You're looking at the second
hottest dude in eighth grade.
307
00:11:43,853 --> 00:11:45,156
Wow.
308
00:11:45,189 --> 00:11:46,745
It works.
309
00:11:48,626 --> 00:11:50,428
Hey. Second?
310
00:11:50,772 --> 00:11:52,162
As in number two?
311
00:11:52,195 --> 00:11:53,344
Believe it.
312
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,799
Okay, the only way you go from 42 to two
313
00:11:55,835 --> 00:11:58,802
is if some guy goes in there
and mows down 40 other kids.
314
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,108
What'd you do?
315
00:12:00,233 --> 00:12:02,223
Nothing. Some kid was dogging on me,
316
00:12:02,243 --> 00:12:04,236
so I told him I tuned up some
public school kids. (LAUGHS)
317
00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:06,706
Oh, my God, you fool. I
told you to keep it vague.
318
00:12:06,747 --> 00:12:09,420
Sorry if I took your advice
and made it a frick-ton better.
319
00:12:09,430 --> 00:12:10,694
Nah, you don't get it, man.
320
00:12:10,726 --> 00:12:12,568
Now you're a fighter,
and that's very specific.
321
00:12:12,583 --> 00:12:14,404
You're gonna walk around
with a target on your back.
322
00:12:14,436 --> 00:12:17,174
Yeah? Well, heavy lies the crown.
323
00:12:18,064 --> 00:12:19,538
(GRUNTS)
324
00:12:19,563 --> 00:12:22,251
G-give me ba-back my b-binder.
325
00:12:22,289 --> 00:12:23,908
"B-B-Binder." What?
326
00:12:23,972 --> 00:12:26,631
I can't understand you. Speak English.
327
00:12:27,586 --> 00:12:29,433
Can I help you?
328
00:12:31,436 --> 00:12:34,671
- (SIGHS)
- KIDS: Whoa.
329
00:12:34,704 --> 00:12:36,108
You're welcome.
330
00:12:38,127 --> 00:12:39,659
♪ My mind is soft ♪
331
00:12:39,722 --> 00:12:41,647
- Ow.
- ♪ I never owe ♪
332
00:12:41,679 --> 00:12:43,046
♪ Nobody else ♪
333
00:12:43,058 --> 00:12:46,098
- ♪ I never owe nobody else ♪
- There you go.
334
00:12:46,372 --> 00:12:48,052
♪ But you ♪
335
00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:50,921
♪ ♪
336
00:12:50,954 --> 00:12:53,090
♪ My mind is soft ♪
337
00:12:56,315 --> 00:12:59,949
- (GRUNTS)
- ♪ I never owe nobody else ♪
338
00:12:59,968 --> 00:13:02,980
♪ I never owe nobody else ♪
339
00:13:04,620 --> 00:13:08,159
- ♪ Do you want come my way? ♪
- (GRUNTS)
340
00:13:08,210 --> 00:13:11,285
♪ Did you want to come
and miss my mind here? ♪
341
00:13:11,304 --> 00:13:14,582
♪ Do you want to come
and miss my mind here? ♪
342
00:13:14,652 --> 00:13:17,652
- (GRUNTS)
- BEN: You'll thank me later.
343
00:13:17,777 --> 00:13:19,232
(DOOR CLOSES)
344
00:13:19,271 --> 00:13:21,479
What is wrong with you? Are you insane?
345
00:13:21,503 --> 00:13:26,613
Oh. I guess Brian informed you
about our little poetry slam sesh?
346
00:13:26,623 --> 00:13:29,802
My friends told me that you stormed
into his classroom like a lunatic.
347
00:13:30,158 --> 00:13:32,489
- Wait, but he didn't say anything?
- No, of course not,
348
00:13:32,502 --> 00:13:35,146
- because nothing happened.
- Okay, now I'm pissed off.
349
00:13:35,209 --> 00:13:37,401
I feel like I'm back in the
janitor's closet, and everyone's...
350
00:13:37,605 --> 00:13:39,803
Sabrina, I am not lying.
351
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:42,906
Sabrina, shame on you, okay?
352
00:13:42,940 --> 00:13:44,708
Women need to believe each other.
353
00:13:44,747 --> 00:13:47,421
I know that when I hooked
up with Edward Olmos, Jr...
354
00:13:47,445 --> 00:13:49,753
It's Edward James Olmos.
I... it... it... that doesn't matter.
355
00:13:49,791 --> 00:13:51,449
It didn't happen. Stop saying that.
356
00:13:51,474 --> 00:13:52,707
Well, looked just like him.
357
00:13:52,739 --> 00:13:55,242
So just some old man with
bad skin? My thing happened.
358
00:13:55,254 --> 00:13:57,637
Just stay away from
Brian, okay? He's mine.
359
00:13:57,681 --> 00:13:59,276
(LAUGHING): Oh.
360
00:13:59,301 --> 00:14:01,449
Okay. Okay.
361
00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:03,197
So this guy wants it
to look like I'm crazy.
362
00:14:03,241 --> 00:14:05,738
Sure, no problem. I do a great crazy.
363
00:14:06,097 --> 00:14:08,100
(TIRES SQUEALING)
364
00:14:15,540 --> 00:14:16,749
It's Mickey!
365
00:14:16,874 --> 00:14:18,522
Can we talk for just a sec?
366
00:14:20,448 --> 00:14:22,012
H... hey!
367
00:14:22,046 --> 00:14:25,249
I saw that. Open this door, right now.
368
00:14:25,555 --> 00:14:26,914
(DOOR CLOSING)
369
00:14:27,039 --> 00:14:30,694
(GASPS) Oh, you think
you can hide from me?
370
00:14:30,750 --> 00:14:33,450
Well, I've got news for you: you can't.
371
00:14:33,704 --> 00:14:35,959
And... and one more piece of news:
372
00:14:35,993 --> 00:14:39,352
- I will hunt you down!
- Ma'am, I don't think he's home.
373
00:14:39,390 --> 00:14:41,392
Oh, he's home. He is home.
374
00:14:41,398 --> 00:14:44,512
- I am not crazy!
- I can give him a message for you.
375
00:14:44,512 --> 00:14:47,104
I'll give him a message.
376
00:14:47,137 --> 00:14:49,141
♪ ♪
377
00:14:52,243 --> 00:14:54,012
(TIRES SQUEALING)
378
00:15:06,101 --> 00:15:08,532
There you are, bro. I've been
looking everywhere for you.
379
00:15:08,555 --> 00:15:11,240
Oh, yeah? Well, I've been
in the gym. Getting swole.
380
00:15:11,288 --> 00:15:12,501
- (CHUCKLES)
- We got to roll. Now.
381
00:15:12,533 --> 00:15:13,994
- Where we going?
- Parking lot.
382
00:15:14,033 --> 00:15:16,085
Some dudes from South Greenwich
heard you were talking smack.
383
00:15:16,091 --> 00:15:17,388
They want to fight you.
384
00:15:17,648 --> 00:15:20,246
Th... they want to fight
me? How many are there?
385
00:15:20,290 --> 00:15:22,514
I don't know, like six.
386
00:15:22,639 --> 00:15:24,242
You can handle that, though, right?
387
00:15:25,029 --> 00:15:27,760
Y... yeah. (SCOFFS) T... totally. Six?
388
00:15:27,768 --> 00:15:29,174
Wish there were seven.
389
00:15:29,222 --> 00:15:31,898
I have this thing where I have to
beat people in odd numbers, so...
390
00:15:31,937 --> 00:15:33,542
Let's go.
391
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:37,337
You wanted to... Ugh.
392
00:15:37,337 --> 00:15:39,379
Uh, Mr. Reed, please have a seat.
393
00:15:39,427 --> 00:15:41,071
(SIGHS)
394
00:15:41,196 --> 00:15:44,923
- Look, I don't know what she told you...
- He said have a seat, Brian.
395
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:50,997
Ms. Molng here has just been
sharing some troubling accusations.
396
00:15:51,122 --> 00:15:55,016
Uh, she claims that you engaged in...
397
00:15:55,508 --> 00:15:57,359
That there was a...
398
00:15:57,780 --> 00:16:00,610
Sex. "Sex" is the word
you're looking for.
399
00:16:00,655 --> 00:16:02,034
Plus all the dirty lead-up stuff.
400
00:16:02,053 --> 00:16:03,952
- He does this thing with your ears. It's...
- Tha... that's...
401
00:16:04,022 --> 00:16:06,913
- I... I don't need details.
- It just goes on for too long.
402
00:16:06,938 --> 00:16:09,658
- That's all I was gonna say.
- Mr. Reed, is this true?
403
00:16:09,783 --> 00:16:14,951
Did you engage in a sexual
relationship with Ms. Molng?
404
00:16:17,352 --> 00:16:18,585
- Yes.
- (GRUNTS)
405
00:16:18,604 --> 00:16:21,234
- I mean, technically it's true.
- Finally.
406
00:16:21,359 --> 00:16:22,893
Finally, he admits it.
407
00:16:23,018 --> 00:16:26,032
- This is so embarrassing.
- Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
408
00:16:26,051 --> 00:16:28,853
Do not do that. I am the one
who is embarrassed, all right?
409
00:16:28,872 --> 00:16:30,137
Ashamed, even.
410
00:16:30,175 --> 00:16:32,856
Obviously, this is a problem, Brian.
411
00:16:32,888 --> 00:16:34,299
Well, I didn't know who she was.
412
00:16:34,350 --> 00:16:36,185
I was at my other
job, she approached me,
413
00:16:36,211 --> 00:16:38,562
we started talking, it just happened.
414
00:16:38,886 --> 00:16:40,988
Wait, you didn't know
she was a Lockwood parent?
415
00:16:41,033 --> 00:16:42,481
No, of course not.
416
00:16:42,958 --> 00:16:45,112
And none of this happened
on school property?
417
00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:47,247
No, she targeted me at work.
418
00:16:47,285 --> 00:16:50,551
Wha... Well, I'm not sure
that any of this is illegal.
419
00:16:50,557 --> 00:16:52,659
Okay, I'll give you that.
That... that... that, technically,
420
00:16:52,666 --> 00:16:54,172
that was all by the book.
421
00:16:54,297 --> 00:16:56,288
But this man is a predator
422
00:16:56,301 --> 00:16:57,495
- Wh... ?
- And also,
423
00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,233
he will not admit to
Sabrina that we had sex.
424
00:17:00,259 --> 00:17:02,659
Uh, nor should he. I...
I'm on his side there.
425
00:17:02,691 --> 00:17:04,552
You know what? In fact, Brian,
426
00:17:04,610 --> 00:17:05,874
you are free to go.
427
00:17:05,874 --> 00:17:08,181
- Thank you.
- What?! Oh, sure.
428
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,940
Yeah, yeah. Course he's free to go.
429
00:17:09,965 --> 00:17:11,605
'Cause this whole
education system is just
430
00:17:11,635 --> 00:17:13,625
- one big boys club, isn't it?
- Well, actually,
431
00:17:13,655 --> 00:17:16,390
76% of teachers in America
are female, so you're...
432
00:17:16,411 --> 00:17:18,713
Oh, thank you for mansplaining
that for me, Gibbons.
433
00:17:18,743 --> 00:17:21,396
Guess what? I will not
be bullied into silence.
434
00:17:21,407 --> 00:17:23,355
You know, uh, speaking of bullying,
435
00:17:23,358 --> 00:17:25,595
we need to have a small chat about Ben.
436
00:17:25,630 --> 00:17:28,085
He has been physically
assaulting students
437
00:17:28,117 --> 00:17:29,793
that he has deemed...
438
00:17:30,464 --> 00:17:32,930
- "losers."
- Doesn't sound like my Ben.
439
00:17:32,996 --> 00:17:35,677
Well, maybe you don't know your
Ben as well as you think you do.
440
00:17:35,733 --> 00:17:38,137
The good news is that he
wants to make it right,
441
00:17:38,152 --> 00:17:41,135
so he has volunteered to
read an anti-bullying poem
442
00:17:41,164 --> 00:17:43,184
in our school's Arts Fest.
443
00:17:43,255 --> 00:17:45,756
Great. Perfect punishment. Poems suck.
444
00:17:45,881 --> 00:17:48,138
- (GENTLE MUSIC PLAYING)
- (BOYS SNICKERING)
445
00:17:50,031 --> 00:17:51,510
'Sup, 48?
446
00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:53,436
Hey, nice belt buckle.
447
00:17:54,243 --> 00:17:55,576
All right, screw this.
448
00:17:55,779 --> 00:17:57,079
(APPLAUSE)
449
00:17:57,112 --> 00:17:59,037
GIBBONS: Thank you, thank you, girls.
450
00:17:59,042 --> 00:18:00,492
Thank you so very much.
451
00:18:00,617 --> 00:18:01,952
(CHUCKLES)
452
00:18:01,984 --> 00:18:05,187
Up next, we have one
of our youngest poets,
453
00:18:05,202 --> 00:18:08,393
Ben Pemberton, who
will be reciting a poem
454
00:18:08,417 --> 00:18:10,768
about the dangers of bullying.
455
00:18:11,293 --> 00:18:13,296
(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
456
00:18:15,556 --> 00:18:18,314
"Black Eyes" by Ben Pemberton.
457
00:18:18,439 --> 00:18:21,408
"Black eyes are cool, black eyes rule,
458
00:18:21,433 --> 00:18:23,835
but black eyes don't
belong at our school.
459
00:18:23,867 --> 00:18:27,278
Black eyes look scary,
but black eyes are fun.
460
00:18:27,329 --> 00:18:29,235
I really wish that I could have one."
461
00:18:29,279 --> 00:18:31,561
Okay, thank you. Thank
you, Ben. Thank you.
462
00:18:31,599 --> 00:18:34,497
For your poem on... on
why black eyes
463
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:37,534
are bad. Black eyes was the...
464
00:18:37,559 --> 00:18:38,788
(CLEARS THROAT)
465
00:18:38,821 --> 00:18:42,108
Next up, uh, Ben's
older sister, Sabrina.
466
00:18:42,127 --> 00:18:43,311
(SCATTERED APPLAUSE)
467
00:18:43,321 --> 00:18:45,576
Thank you for helping
me recognize my gift.
468
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:47,571
I wrote this for you.
469
00:18:48,031 --> 00:18:49,909
Oh, uh... thank you.
470
00:18:49,922 --> 00:18:51,294
Good luck.
471
00:18:53,736 --> 00:18:55,705
(CLEARS THROAT)
472
00:18:55,739 --> 00:18:58,519
"Baggage" by Sabrina Pemberton.
473
00:18:59,587 --> 00:19:01,118
"I am a handbag.
474
00:19:01,243 --> 00:19:03,513
Empty. Expensive.
475
00:19:03,547 --> 00:19:05,516
Carried places I don't want to go.
476
00:19:05,549 --> 00:19:07,051
But then you came,
477
00:19:07,248 --> 00:19:10,027
and rifled through my
pockets like a gentle thief.
478
00:19:10,669 --> 00:19:13,390
Now I'm ready. Unzip me.
479
00:19:13,423 --> 00:19:16,768
- Place things inside me."
- I had sex with Mr. Reed.
480
00:19:16,796 --> 00:19:18,529
Ah, nah. That's right.
481
00:19:18,561 --> 00:19:21,300
This creep not only teaches girls
how to write terrible poetry,
482
00:19:21,325 --> 00:19:23,855
he also lies to their faces
about sleeping with their aunt.
483
00:19:23,880 --> 00:19:25,659
But I got the receipts.
484
00:19:26,015 --> 00:19:27,870
I will hunt you down!
485
00:19:28,092 --> 00:19:29,903
- WOMAN: I don't think he's home.
- Whoops, hold on. One...
486
00:19:29,903 --> 00:19:31,046
Give me one sec. That's, uh, wrong part.
487
00:19:31,073 --> 00:19:32,724
MICKEY: He is home. I am not crazy!
488
00:19:32,762 --> 00:19:34,648
Well... (CHUCKLES) He was home
489
00:19:34,667 --> 00:19:36,345
throughout this entire
exchange, mind you.
490
00:19:36,378 --> 00:19:37,780
- Okay, the... No, no, they...
- No, no, no, I'm...
491
00:19:37,847 --> 00:19:40,359
- That's good enough. I think...
- Hey, hey, hey! Stop. Hey. Stop.
492
00:19:40,378 --> 00:19:41,986
I'll be done in a
second. Just give me...
493
00:19:42,018 --> 00:19:43,100
You guys just hang in there for one...
494
00:19:43,100 --> 00:19:44,696
It's right here. It's right here.
495
00:19:44,742 --> 00:19:46,731
GIBBONS: Mr. Reed, did you engage
496
00:19:46,744 --> 00:19:49,458
in a sexual relationship with Ms. Molng?
497
00:19:50,698 --> 00:19:51,648
REED: Yes.
498
00:19:51,659 --> 00:19:54,093
- (CROWD GASPS)
- Yes. Yes.
499
00:19:54,856 --> 00:19:57,244
Are you serious? You
actually slept with her?
500
00:19:57,466 --> 00:20:00,044
I thought you were just waiting
till I graduated to make a move.
501
00:20:00,235 --> 00:20:01,604
We had something.
502
00:20:01,729 --> 00:20:03,848
I just wanted to teach you some poetry.
503
00:20:03,973 --> 00:20:05,843
- Ugh.
- If there are any other victims,
504
00:20:05,889 --> 00:20:08,110
please come forward and hold hands.
505
00:20:08,144 --> 00:20:10,454
- We are stronger together.
- No...
506
00:20:15,117 --> 00:20:17,120
(SCATTERED GASPS, CHUCKLING)
507
00:20:20,771 --> 00:20:22,088
CHIP: Oh, no, no, no.
508
00:20:22,118 --> 00:20:24,226
I didn't... I didn't
sleep with that guy. No.
509
00:20:24,260 --> 00:20:26,937
The... the handspring
is separate from that.
510
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,903
49? That makes no sense.
511
00:20:34,028 --> 00:20:35,684
Makes perfect sense.
512
00:20:36,106 --> 00:20:38,809
Even Aaron Luber is higher
than me, and he eats bugs.
513
00:20:38,860 --> 00:20:40,406
Okay, how do I explain this to you?
514
00:20:40,482 --> 00:20:42,256
Doing a handspring in the Olympics,
515
00:20:42,256 --> 00:20:44,615
or to escape danger, is cool.
516
00:20:44,648 --> 00:20:48,264
But just doing it out of
nowhere, unannounced? Not cool.
517
00:20:48,318 --> 00:20:50,256
But I stuck the landing perfectly.
518
00:20:50,286 --> 00:20:51,811
Yeah, that's the worst part, man.
519
00:20:51,832 --> 00:20:54,759
Maybe if you'd biffed the landing
and eaten your teeth, it'd be funny.
520
00:20:54,884 --> 00:20:57,126
But instead you did it
with perfect precision?
521
00:20:57,354 --> 00:20:58,503
That's weird.
522
00:20:58,940 --> 00:21:00,129
I don't get it.
523
00:21:00,162 --> 00:21:01,631
Yeah, you probably never will.
524
00:21:01,842 --> 00:21:04,508
Maybe if you write a poem
it will make you cool again.
525
00:21:04,532 --> 00:21:07,111
- I wouldn't recommend it.
- Yeah, poetry's not in our blood.
526
00:21:07,174 --> 00:21:09,606
I see that now. Plus,
there's no real future in it.
527
00:21:09,639 --> 00:21:12,164
- Wha... I thought Mr. Reed said...
- Mr. Reed's an idiot.
528
00:21:12,289 --> 00:21:13,584
His credibility went out the window
529
00:21:13,584 --> 00:21:15,525
the second I realized he
wasn't trying to bang me.
530
00:21:15,566 --> 00:21:16,633
Plus, he resigned.
531
00:21:16,674 --> 00:21:18,804
I'm not gonna take advice
from some coffee jockey.
532
00:21:19,576 --> 00:21:21,995
Boom. Read it and weep.
533
00:21:22,067 --> 00:21:24,069
According to this restraining order,
534
00:21:24,119 --> 00:21:26,630
I can't come within a
thousand yards of Mr. Reed
535
00:21:26,656 --> 00:21:29,791
because of emotional
distress due to, and I quote,
536
00:21:29,860 --> 00:21:33,431
"deeply regrettable
sexual intercourse." Huh?
537
00:21:33,451 --> 00:21:36,966
It's on the record,
okay? So who's crazy now?
538
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,941
- (JIMMY CHUCKLES)
- Way to go, Mick.
539
00:21:38,987 --> 00:21:40,343
That's my girl.
540
00:21:41,690 --> 00:21:42,701
Wait, what?
541
00:21:42,826 --> 00:21:44,561
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
542
00:21:44,602 --> 00:21:45,603
SABRINA: Unzip me.